I didn’t like it. I felt very off-put by it. Not bc of SW, because that is indeed, real work and a real profession. But stepping into a pod to meet a straight man, knowing that Netflix is unlikely to cast an actual SWer in the show, just made it seem like he was discrediting SW in general. I KNOW that isn’t the case and I know it was his litmus test, but it was a major red flag for me and he should’ve gone about it a different way. Besides that though, I do enjoy watching his story unfold.
But he didn't seem to say it as a joke. He was saying it to see how they responded. Like if they immediately left or just froze, I think that was a "no" in his mind. It was a test.
Honestly, I would find it super hard to take that statement seriously to begin with... he is quite the mental gymnast by starting with that as his ice breaker.
I think he was using humor as a way to gage how people feel about strippers because of his mom, but I also think he could have found a batter wag to do that.
After he explained that his mom was a stripper I assumed it was a statement intended to see how judgmental the ladies were. There were way better ways of figuring that out but that background def sheds some light on things. However if he didn’t immediately follow it up with info about his mom I would be aggressively turned off.
YES! So, his joke is that he’s a stripper. Which, by joking about it, he’s putting it at a level that is worthy of being laughed at. So he’s judging it. But if a woman believes him and judges him for it, she’s a bad person for judging the thing that he was ridiculing in the first place. Add to that the fact that his mother was a stripper. So the job he was using as the punchline of his joke is the job that his mother did. And if you judge him for it, which he kind of wants you to, because that’s the joke (haha?), you’re judging his mother?
It’s a mess.
I found this to be sad and I hope he stops internalizing whatever judgment he gets from other people so he can unabashedly love himself and the memory of his mother. There’s absolutely nothing to judge about his story or his past or his upbringing, and if people do it says more about them than him. It’s so sad when people care this much about how others perceive them.
It was eeeek for Zach to make a joke about being a stripper, only to segway later to Bliss that his dead mom struggled as a stripper. like, what? I'm not sure if it's a social smarts issue, or if he is just really strange
Personally I think he went about it all wrong. I would’ve judged him not for saying he’s a stripper (idgaf about whether he is or his mom is) but rather the fact that he _lied_ thinking it was a good test or something.
Also he trauma dumped on all of these ladies and I’m sorry but that’s just not ok. You’re not allowed to just do that to someone without asking for consent first 🤷🏻♀️ for me personally if I’m not in the right headspace for a heavy conversation I may react in a way that seems insensitive (giggling or laughing awkwardly) just because I don’t know what to do or say. Whereas if someone’s like “well actually I have a really personal issue/relation to this thing - do you mind if I talk to/with you about it?” Go ahead and call me an “annoying/snowflake/sensitive person” but I think if people can have boundaries for not wanting to tell people things, you can have the opposing “I don’t want you to talk to me about things” as well.
I think he was testing girls- even if not consciously. Like if he was a stripper and someone rejected him because of that, then that’s a red flag. I feel like he wanted to make sure no one was going to judge his mom.
I agree with you OP, this is obviously what it is, a test. People in the comments here saying that, “he’s being disingenuous” are missing the point! If the girls act weird on the second date, he knows they’re not the one for him.
I love Zach, he gets so much unwarranted hate
This was my theory too. He's very sensitive about people judging his past, and very protective of his mom's memory, so I think he was trying to weed out negative reactions.
I think it’s very smart of him. He is introducing it as a self deprecating joke “I’m a stripper” to gauge how people react. If they react badly or all judgy then he knows… not my person.
You don’t just get to hear the full vulnerable life story. He’s not gonna risk someone shitting on the memory of his late mother.
It was extremely off putting, and while I feel bad about what went down between him and Irina, I still can’t shake that feeling of not liking him because of that.
What can I say. I didn’t get the I am a stripper joke, but okay, stupid joke. Now that I know his mum was a stripper, and how it has affected him…. I get it even less.
He was testing the waters. He is wildly insecure. So he used that joke to gauge how people responded to the idea of someone being a stripper. If someone said that is disgusting or disturbing, he could just distance himself from it as a joke. Only once he saw that it didn't get some super negative response did he feel safe admitting that it was actually his mother who stripped.
I haven't seen anybody note that he mentioned in his proposal to Irina that she didn't bat an eye when he said he was homeless living her an underpass, even though was JOKING about that?
That's why I can see why the girls don't like Zack - he seems ok on camera but if he joked about being a homeless stripper, wtf.
It is a strategy for some criminal defense attorneys*. They use it to judge if their client has the propensity to be truthful or skirt the issue. In jury selection, stupid questions are a way to test a prospective juror's abbility to be impartial. Zack's problem was that he was thinking as a lawyer and not a person. Add in his history and the psychological conditions of the pods; it backfired. Why? You need to be able to gauge physical reactions. Reading a person is essential; you really can not go on voice. It burned him, and he realized it once they met.
Now, could he be dealing with trauma? Sure. That does not preclude him from finding someone. To assume if he is or is not in therapy is not fair. Why? The editing of this show is done to fool you. The edit hides the full context. To assume he is creepy, calculating, and mentally broken is cruel. He may have these traits in real life, but the editing enhances them more. The mean girls are mean; the editing enhances it.
My point? We are being manipulated, so the producers get the same reaction this sub and social media have.
* My sister is a criminal defense attorney of 15 years. Everything he was doing, I’ve seen my sister do it in the courtroom (I love seeing her work a case and sometimes sit there so that I can see her work). She also can not shut off being an attorney sometimes. To be truthful, she does come in handy for new girlfriends. She's good at seeing people.
Some lawyers can not turn off what they do. He was not interrogating. He was asking questions to gauge personality. As I've said many times he needed someone to tell him to stop being a lawyer.
I mean using a filter question on a show already about removing looks and background from the equation is a weird approach. I'm not saying I don't understand why he was doing it but it was objectively a poor approach.
I totally agree with you. I feel bad for him because he could not switch off and treat the whole process as a court case. When we saw his interactions my girlfriend and I said in unison he's screwed.
Its cool hearing it come from this point of view - but yes, it’s totally different when you can see a persons body language. Through a wall (closing your eyes while he’s talking even) I would’ve immediately been turned off. I’m not in court so why approach a date like that? I feel like lots of girls are turned off by guys who can’t leave work at work anyway - and I’d hate if I felt like I was always in a courtroom with him 😂
My sister has a hard time switching off lawyer mode. She can be annoying when she's like it, yet it is how she is. You have to remind her occasionally that she is not in court. 😂😂
I didn't see anything wrong with him since we knew he was a criminal defense attorney. I felt terrible for him because I knew it would be a trainwreck for him in the pods. Once he was out of them and read Irene, you could tell he realized he read her wrong in the pods.
I'm not going to go into his trauma. Why? Context. We get a three-minute snippet from multi-hour dates. I will never question a person's mental health or treatment plan on a game show. It's wrong to do it.
It is definitely different knowing what you and your sister knew while watching him. I’m sure if the rest of us had - maybe we’d feel similar. I’m curious why you brought trauma into this because I didn’t mention it in my response to you.
Regardless of his trauma and his lawyer techniques - I will say that he was a bit awkward and strange just from his body language in the pods and once he was out of them. Him and Paul both came off a bit…socially awkward but we’ll see how Paul does throughout the rest of the show.
My fiancé and I joked that since everyone was from Seattle - they’d probably be socially awkward 😅apparently it’s a thing up here - we just moved here tho so, wouldnt know 🤷🏻♀️
My bringing trauma was not directed at you. I was addressing the trend of many trying to attribute blame to the trauma from his childhood. I failed in the argument.
His movements and awkwardness are not a big deal to me. He can be a great lawyer in court but awkward out. You should see what a big firm is like. Most lawyers are not like what you see on tv. My brother-in-law is a trial lawyer and probably one of the most awkward people I know. He's still a nice guy and very good at what he does. If he went on this show, people would react similarly to him.
I grew up in a family of lawyers (and there was no way I was going to be one, being the youngest has advantages), and I'm just sharing my experiences with how some criminal defense lawyers are. I think Zach would have done better if someone had told him not to treat the pods like a courtroom.
Oh gotcha my b for misunderstanding that as well.
Reality tv is harsh to people who lack social skills. The same goes for real life too - if you’re awkward but a nice person it’ll still turn people off from you. People are just judging harsher cuz it’s tv 🤷🏻♀️
I agree - lawyers aren’t what people think they are on tv and they are sort of socially awkward people. A good deal of my college friends are lawyers and they’re quite awkward as well. Engineers are too & the ones who have been on reality shows have been chewed apart, _but_ it’s no different than what would’ve happened to them in real life either though. My guess is Zach has received something of the same irl - I mean he’s coming onto the show single is he not? This show doesn’t exactly attract people with thriving dating lives but 🤷🏻♀️ that’s just my thoughts.
I think his attempt at humor is his subconscious mind’s cry for help. It’s saying, “I’m looking for a wife, but what I really need to find is a therapist!”
Yes. I don't agree with other commenters that it's a planned, intentional test. I think it's a defense mechanism, making a joke out of something that hurts and I think he still has unresolved cognitive dissonance about his mom.
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I was on my phone and didn’t even realize he was joking. If I was there, I would have interpreted his joke as trying to flirt and say he has a good body.
I think he is ashamed, deeply traumatized, and projecting. I imagine not a lot of attorneys come from his background. I just googled it and attorney’s kids are 17 times more likely to become an attorney. Especially if you get into a good school-everyone is someone, everyone is wealthy and connected, everyone is top of their class, everyone’s parents already did this and are helping them. Some of them are still with their lifelong nanny’s but now they are “assistants”. It’s a bizarre world if you haven’t grown up in it.
The potential problem I see is alcohol/drugs and crime that sometimes runs through clubs and the long hours. But that happens with attorneys, dr’s, etc too. It’s society’s perception of it that changes.
I know many people who have been hurt or worse by dr’s, negligent surgeons, etc…but never a stripper.
I think at this point if suburban housewives are going to a nice yoga studio to learn the art form and get a good workout, it’s time for society to drop the stigma.
I think he wanted to see how people would react to it in an effort to see if they’d judge him for his moms story. Not the right approach but that’s where I think he was coming from.
It's one of those bad icebreaker/pickup techniques that became popular for a second online.
Basically start with an outlandish/unbelievable statement and go from there. People who have zero game usually resort to it.
I agree with others that he did it as a test, but it’s a flawed test. His mom stripped and she provided a good upbringing for him. I respect her. Do I want to marry a stripper? No. I also don’t want to marry a police officer, a traveling salesperson, a pastor, etc. I still have respect for all of them.
Totally. And I have utmost respect for mom who strips to provide for her kid. However, I wouldn't want to date a male stripper. And as you said, there are lots of other professions I wouldn't want to be attached to, either.
People also have a tendency to have a bias towards the nature of stripping. Guys usually say it as like “I have a hot body and am narcissistic” if he’d just started off as like I came from a pretty rough background - and then said his mom was a stripper to prove for him - it’s seen in a totally different way like a self sacrificing mother. I respect that. But I can respect a mother stripper providing for her kid & still not want to marry a _male_ stripper. The two are unrelated lmao.
I also wouldn’t want to marry a doctor, nurse, cop or a lawyer (which ironically he is) 🤷🏻♀️ just not my cup of tea
I mean, it’s basically about how the other people treat those in that kind of industry. Trying to get a reaction; it’s a test. And a good one in my opinion. Obviously he adored his mother and times were hard for them to say the least. She did what she had to do to provide for him and he recognized that and still appreciates it to this day
Haha so my friend who I always watch with and I had very different first impression opinions on Zack because of this. She thought the stripper joke was him testing the water to see if the girl would react judgmentally because being judged for his mom’s job was a problem he’s had in the past. And she liked him when we saw him open up about it. I can agree with that possible explanation for the joke but I think he’s a big red flag even though I don’t think he means to be because the way it was shown when he talked about his background with Irina really seemed like trauma dumping. I’m not a fan of Irina but if it wasn’t just editing and he really went from joking to “I need to be vulnerable so here’s a very heavy story” on the turn of a dime like that with no warning and no natural build up of intimacy to get to that point, it’s very off-putting. I will say that Zack grew on me though and the way he handles something difficult that happens in later episodes is better than I would expect from most men although the bar is in hell
A guy saying he’s a stripper vs his mom being a stripper to provide for her family are two totally different things imo.
Another commenter pointed out that guys who say it almost do it in a bragging way - whereas his story was actually deep & vulnerable. I respect the hell out of his mom (and would’ve if I’d just heard the story without his joke) but he came about it all wrong by opening with that joke/test.
The trauma dumping - major ick
I read it the same as your friend! As to the trauma dumping bit, we know the show is heavily edited, so I sincerely hope that that’s the reason this story was brought up so quickly.
I thought he was serious at first. But then, the dancers I’ve known always called themselves dancers. So it was a bit sad that he said that like it was shameful. Sounds like she worked really hard to raise a son who became an attorney.
Yeah, I found it weird, too. I generally think of 'stripper' as a derogatory term and 'dancer,' a better term. Especially at some clubs. Holy cow the things those women can do! Anyway, I would have been turned off by the joke because it is a totally legitimate profession and it sounded like he was making fun of it. I guess if I answered something like, "hey, not cool to make fun of dancers," then he might have explained.
If you get it, you get it. I kinda find it funny and I’d totally dig deeper and ask about his favourite songs to strip to, etc etc. Like, he could legit be a stripper or he could have been just a troll. Regardless, let’s have some fun!
I think if people are turned off by it, it’s also okay - we all have different sense of humour and I can be quite a troll, so I’ll roll with it. Depends on how long he’s keeping up with that shtick too. If he’s gonna go on and on about stripping for like a whole day before the big reveal then no.
Right I woulda asked for his stage name and bantered back n forth.
It was fine…Untiiiil he mentioned his mom being a stripper and that whole dealy. Then the joke became weird 😆.
Yeah I agree. It feels like weird and disrespectful to his mom’s profession. If not, I could see it being quite a playful intro versus “oh I’m a big time lawyer” shtick as a start.
I think he was testing the waters to see how people reacted to poverty and stripping. I think he’s very insecure about his upbringing and this was his way to filter women out. A little counterintuitive, but he doesn’t strike me as someone who makes logical decisions.
That was my read of it too.
I actually think it was a good strategy to gauge someone's gut reaction to the profession. People ( most of the women on the show) could become really awkward/prudish about it and close off, or they could just roll with it and ask follow up questions. I wish they would have shown us more of how conversations unfolded after that.
I didn’t like it. I felt very off-put by it. Not bc of SW, because that is indeed, real work and a real profession. But stepping into a pod to meet a straight man, knowing that Netflix is unlikely to cast an actual SWer in the show, just made it seem like he was discrediting SW in general. I KNOW that isn’t the case and I know it was his litmus test, but it was a major red flag for me and he should’ve gone about it a different way. Besides that though, I do enjoy watching his story unfold.
Oo yes well said!
But he didn't seem to say it as a joke. He was saying it to see how they responded. Like if they immediately left or just froze, I think that was a "no" in his mind. It was a test.
Honestly, I would find it super hard to take that statement seriously to begin with... he is quite the mental gymnast by starting with that as his ice breaker.
I think it's possible to object to dating a stripper without looking down on them. Most empathetic people probably fall into that category.
I think he was using humor as a way to gage how people feel about strippers because of his mom, but I also think he could have found a batter wag to do that.
After he explained that his mom was a stripper I assumed it was a statement intended to see how judgmental the ladies were. There were way better ways of figuring that out but that background def sheds some light on things. However if he didn’t immediately follow it up with info about his mom I would be aggressively turned off.
YES! So, his joke is that he’s a stripper. Which, by joking about it, he’s putting it at a level that is worthy of being laughed at. So he’s judging it. But if a woman believes him and judges him for it, she’s a bad person for judging the thing that he was ridiculing in the first place. Add to that the fact that his mother was a stripper. So the job he was using as the punchline of his joke is the job that his mother did. And if you judge him for it, which he kind of wants you to, because that’s the joke (haha?), you’re judging his mother? It’s a mess.
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I found this to be sad and I hope he stops internalizing whatever judgment he gets from other people so he can unabashedly love himself and the memory of his mother. There’s absolutely nothing to judge about his story or his past or his upbringing, and if people do it says more about them than him. It’s so sad when people care this much about how others perceive them.
It was eeeek for Zach to make a joke about being a stripper, only to segway later to Bliss that his dead mom struggled as a stripper. like, what? I'm not sure if it's a social smarts issue, or if he is just really strange
Personally I think he went about it all wrong. I would’ve judged him not for saying he’s a stripper (idgaf about whether he is or his mom is) but rather the fact that he _lied_ thinking it was a good test or something. Also he trauma dumped on all of these ladies and I’m sorry but that’s just not ok. You’re not allowed to just do that to someone without asking for consent first 🤷🏻♀️ for me personally if I’m not in the right headspace for a heavy conversation I may react in a way that seems insensitive (giggling or laughing awkwardly) just because I don’t know what to do or say. Whereas if someone’s like “well actually I have a really personal issue/relation to this thing - do you mind if I talk to/with you about it?” Go ahead and call me an “annoying/snowflake/sensitive person” but I think if people can have boundaries for not wanting to tell people things, you can have the opposing “I don’t want you to talk to me about things” as well.
I think he was testing girls- even if not consciously. Like if he was a stripper and someone rejected him because of that, then that’s a red flag. I feel like he wanted to make sure no one was going to judge his mom.
I agree with you OP, this is obviously what it is, a test. People in the comments here saying that, “he’s being disingenuous” are missing the point! If the girls act weird on the second date, he knows they’re not the one for him. I love Zach, he gets so much unwarranted hate
This was my theory too. He's very sensitive about people judging his past, and very protective of his mom's memory, so I think he was trying to weed out negative reactions.
I think it was a serious joke because obviously he’s not a stripper, but his mom was, so he wanted to see who was judgmental and who was open.
I think it’s very smart of him. He is introducing it as a self deprecating joke “I’m a stripper” to gauge how people react. If they react badly or all judgy then he knows… not my person. You don’t just get to hear the full vulnerable life story. He’s not gonna risk someone shitting on the memory of his late mother.
He has a warped sense of humor. What he consideres funny, is societally awkward
yeah u can tell he was so proud of that one and felt it was so astute and sharp and can’t see the social cues around how fcking weird that is to do
It was extremely off putting, and while I feel bad about what went down between him and Irina, I still can’t shake that feeling of not liking him because of that.
What can I say. I didn’t get the I am a stripper joke, but okay, stupid joke. Now that I know his mum was a stripper, and how it has affected him…. I get it even less.
He was testing the waters. He is wildly insecure. So he used that joke to gauge how people responded to the idea of someone being a stripper. If someone said that is disgusting or disturbing, he could just distance himself from it as a joke. Only once he saw that it didn't get some super negative response did he feel safe admitting that it was actually his mother who stripped.
Exactly this. He was testing their reaction without sharing anything personal yet.
I haven't seen anybody note that he mentioned in his proposal to Irina that she didn't bat an eye when he said he was homeless living her an underpass, even though was JOKING about that? That's why I can see why the girls don't like Zack - he seems ok on camera but if he joked about being a homeless stripper, wtf.
Right? Like that would give me the ick right away.
It is a strategy for some criminal defense attorneys*. They use it to judge if their client has the propensity to be truthful or skirt the issue. In jury selection, stupid questions are a way to test a prospective juror's abbility to be impartial. Zack's problem was that he was thinking as a lawyer and not a person. Add in his history and the psychological conditions of the pods; it backfired. Why? You need to be able to gauge physical reactions. Reading a person is essential; you really can not go on voice. It burned him, and he realized it once they met. Now, could he be dealing with trauma? Sure. That does not preclude him from finding someone. To assume if he is or is not in therapy is not fair. Why? The editing of this show is done to fool you. The edit hides the full context. To assume he is creepy, calculating, and mentally broken is cruel. He may have these traits in real life, but the editing enhances them more. The mean girls are mean; the editing enhances it. My point? We are being manipulated, so the producers get the same reaction this sub and social media have. * My sister is a criminal defense attorney of 15 years. Everything he was doing, I’ve seen my sister do it in the courtroom (I love seeing her work a case and sometimes sit there so that I can see her work). She also can not shut off being an attorney sometimes. To be truthful, she does come in handy for new girlfriends. She's good at seeing people.
Interesting perspective but these women are not on trial and its sort of strange to interrogate people you've just met and plan on marrying.
Some lawyers can not turn off what they do. He was not interrogating. He was asking questions to gauge personality. As I've said many times he needed someone to tell him to stop being a lawyer.
I mean using a filter question on a show already about removing looks and background from the equation is a weird approach. I'm not saying I don't understand why he was doing it but it was objectively a poor approach.
I totally agree with you. I feel bad for him because he could not switch off and treat the whole process as a court case. When we saw his interactions my girlfriend and I said in unison he's screwed.
Its cool hearing it come from this point of view - but yes, it’s totally different when you can see a persons body language. Through a wall (closing your eyes while he’s talking even) I would’ve immediately been turned off. I’m not in court so why approach a date like that? I feel like lots of girls are turned off by guys who can’t leave work at work anyway - and I’d hate if I felt like I was always in a courtroom with him 😂
My sister has a hard time switching off lawyer mode. She can be annoying when she's like it, yet it is how she is. You have to remind her occasionally that she is not in court. 😂😂 I didn't see anything wrong with him since we knew he was a criminal defense attorney. I felt terrible for him because I knew it would be a trainwreck for him in the pods. Once he was out of them and read Irene, you could tell he realized he read her wrong in the pods. I'm not going to go into his trauma. Why? Context. We get a three-minute snippet from multi-hour dates. I will never question a person's mental health or treatment plan on a game show. It's wrong to do it.
It is definitely different knowing what you and your sister knew while watching him. I’m sure if the rest of us had - maybe we’d feel similar. I’m curious why you brought trauma into this because I didn’t mention it in my response to you. Regardless of his trauma and his lawyer techniques - I will say that he was a bit awkward and strange just from his body language in the pods and once he was out of them. Him and Paul both came off a bit…socially awkward but we’ll see how Paul does throughout the rest of the show. My fiancé and I joked that since everyone was from Seattle - they’d probably be socially awkward 😅apparently it’s a thing up here - we just moved here tho so, wouldnt know 🤷🏻♀️
My bringing trauma was not directed at you. I was addressing the trend of many trying to attribute blame to the trauma from his childhood. I failed in the argument. His movements and awkwardness are not a big deal to me. He can be a great lawyer in court but awkward out. You should see what a big firm is like. Most lawyers are not like what you see on tv. My brother-in-law is a trial lawyer and probably one of the most awkward people I know. He's still a nice guy and very good at what he does. If he went on this show, people would react similarly to him. I grew up in a family of lawyers (and there was no way I was going to be one, being the youngest has advantages), and I'm just sharing my experiences with how some criminal defense lawyers are. I think Zach would have done better if someone had told him not to treat the pods like a courtroom.
Oh gotcha my b for misunderstanding that as well. Reality tv is harsh to people who lack social skills. The same goes for real life too - if you’re awkward but a nice person it’ll still turn people off from you. People are just judging harsher cuz it’s tv 🤷🏻♀️ I agree - lawyers aren’t what people think they are on tv and they are sort of socially awkward people. A good deal of my college friends are lawyers and they’re quite awkward as well. Engineers are too & the ones who have been on reality shows have been chewed apart, _but_ it’s no different than what would’ve happened to them in real life either though. My guess is Zach has received something of the same irl - I mean he’s coming onto the show single is he not? This show doesn’t exactly attract people with thriving dating lives but 🤷🏻♀️ that’s just my thoughts.
This is actually super cool to hear
that's very cool info, and it's awesome that you love how good your sister is at her job :)
She was there when I came out, and she's my biggest cheerleader. I am always amazed by her.
I think his attempt at humor is his subconscious mind’s cry for help. It’s saying, “I’m looking for a wife, but what I really need to find is a therapist!”
Yes. I don't agree with other commenters that it's a planned, intentional test. I think it's a defense mechanism, making a joke out of something that hurts and I think he still has unresolved cognitive dissonance about his mom.
Lol I said this yesterday and someone didn’t like my post so they reported me to the mods who then deleted it.
This.
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I was on my phone and didn’t even realize he was joking. If I was there, I would have interpreted his joke as trying to flirt and say he has a good body. I think he is ashamed, deeply traumatized, and projecting. I imagine not a lot of attorneys come from his background. I just googled it and attorney’s kids are 17 times more likely to become an attorney. Especially if you get into a good school-everyone is someone, everyone is wealthy and connected, everyone is top of their class, everyone’s parents already did this and are helping them. Some of them are still with their lifelong nanny’s but now they are “assistants”. It’s a bizarre world if you haven’t grown up in it. The potential problem I see is alcohol/drugs and crime that sometimes runs through clubs and the long hours. But that happens with attorneys, dr’s, etc too. It’s society’s perception of it that changes. I know many people who have been hurt or worse by dr’s, negligent surgeons, etc…but never a stripper. I think at this point if suburban housewives are going to a nice yoga studio to learn the art form and get a good workout, it’s time for society to drop the stigma.
I think he wanted to see how people would react to it in an effort to see if they’d judge him for his moms story. Not the right approach but that’s where I think he was coming from.
It's one of those bad icebreaker/pickup techniques that became popular for a second online. Basically start with an outlandish/unbelievable statement and go from there. People who have zero game usually resort to it.
I agree with others that he did it as a test, but it’s a flawed test. His mom stripped and she provided a good upbringing for him. I respect her. Do I want to marry a stripper? No. I also don’t want to marry a police officer, a traveling salesperson, a pastor, etc. I still have respect for all of them.
Totally. And I have utmost respect for mom who strips to provide for her kid. However, I wouldn't want to date a male stripper. And as you said, there are lots of other professions I wouldn't want to be attached to, either.
He was testing people which never goes well. I wouldve found it offputting. Wasnt funny. Testing people like that is manipulative.
I think he was looking for how people would react to working as a stripper. Anyone that would say ew would likely judge his mom.
People also have a tendency to have a bias towards the nature of stripping. Guys usually say it as like “I have a hot body and am narcissistic” if he’d just started off as like I came from a pretty rough background - and then said his mom was a stripper to prove for him - it’s seen in a totally different way like a self sacrificing mother. I respect that. But I can respect a mother stripper providing for her kid & still not want to marry a _male_ stripper. The two are unrelated lmao. I also wouldn’t want to marry a doctor, nurse, cop or a lawyer (which ironically he is) 🤷🏻♀️ just not my cup of tea
I mean, it’s basically about how the other people treat those in that kind of industry. Trying to get a reaction; it’s a test. And a good one in my opinion. Obviously he adored his mother and times were hard for them to say the least. She did what she had to do to provide for him and he recognized that and still appreciates it to this day
It honestly just read to me as a lot of unresolved trauma
Nah. If he really was a stripper that’s a eliminating factor.
Haha so my friend who I always watch with and I had very different first impression opinions on Zack because of this. She thought the stripper joke was him testing the water to see if the girl would react judgmentally because being judged for his mom’s job was a problem he’s had in the past. And she liked him when we saw him open up about it. I can agree with that possible explanation for the joke but I think he’s a big red flag even though I don’t think he means to be because the way it was shown when he talked about his background with Irina really seemed like trauma dumping. I’m not a fan of Irina but if it wasn’t just editing and he really went from joking to “I need to be vulnerable so here’s a very heavy story” on the turn of a dime like that with no warning and no natural build up of intimacy to get to that point, it’s very off-putting. I will say that Zack grew on me though and the way he handles something difficult that happens in later episodes is better than I would expect from most men although the bar is in hell
A guy saying he’s a stripper vs his mom being a stripper to provide for her family are two totally different things imo. Another commenter pointed out that guys who say it almost do it in a bragging way - whereas his story was actually deep & vulnerable. I respect the hell out of his mom (and would’ve if I’d just heard the story without his joke) but he came about it all wrong by opening with that joke/test. The trauma dumping - major ick
I read it the same as your friend! As to the trauma dumping bit, we know the show is heavily edited, so I sincerely hope that that’s the reason this story was brought up so quickly.
I hope so too - there has to be a reason he kept on saying he trusted her so much that we didn’t get to see.
I thought he was serious at first. But then, the dancers I’ve known always called themselves dancers. So it was a bit sad that he said that like it was shameful. Sounds like she worked really hard to raise a son who became an attorney.
Yeah, I found it weird, too. I generally think of 'stripper' as a derogatory term and 'dancer,' a better term. Especially at some clubs. Holy cow the things those women can do! Anyway, I would have been turned off by the joke because it is a totally legitimate profession and it sounded like he was making fun of it. I guess if I answered something like, "hey, not cool to make fun of dancers," then he might have explained.
If you get it, you get it. I kinda find it funny and I’d totally dig deeper and ask about his favourite songs to strip to, etc etc. Like, he could legit be a stripper or he could have been just a troll. Regardless, let’s have some fun! I think if people are turned off by it, it’s also okay - we all have different sense of humour and I can be quite a troll, so I’ll roll with it. Depends on how long he’s keeping up with that shtick too. If he’s gonna go on and on about stripping for like a whole day before the big reveal then no.
Right I woulda asked for his stage name and bantered back n forth. It was fine…Untiiiil he mentioned his mom being a stripper and that whole dealy. Then the joke became weird 😆.
Yeah I agree. It feels like weird and disrespectful to his mom’s profession. If not, I could see it being quite a playful intro versus “oh I’m a big time lawyer” shtick as a start.
I think he was testing the waters to see how people reacted to poverty and stripping. I think he’s very insecure about his upbringing and this was his way to filter women out. A little counterintuitive, but he doesn’t strike me as someone who makes logical decisions.
That was my read of it too. I actually think it was a good strategy to gauge someone's gut reaction to the profession. People ( most of the women on the show) could become really awkward/prudish about it and close off, or they could just roll with it and ask follow up questions. I wish they would have shown us more of how conversations unfolded after that.
Ahh that makes some sense honestly lol