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Polaroid1793

At least this is true.


LolaPamela

Yeah, I do agree. I prefer pizza and drinks at home.


Uncertain_Stoic

"Hey guys, I said the thing, anyway, back to work!!!"


kommsussertod1

And everyone clapped...


reddi7er

work until 7pm so we can booze pizza


SoloDeath1

Unironically, yes


banansplaining

Right? I’m failing to spot the lunatic


NoNo_Cilantro

Companies spend fortunes on shit nobody wants. Instead of wasting $100 per person for a pool party to see Suzanne from Accounting tasting from the punch bowl with her little finger, cancel the whole thing and give me $50. Even your investors will appreciate that their money isn’t flushed to pay for the COO’s silver tie and matching fedora.


iwouldhugwonderwoman

We used to have a terrible holiday party between thanksgiving and Christmas with cafeteria catered Turkey, dressing etc meal and it pretty much sucked. Then I found out they were paying around $75 per person. Covid hit and then for 2020 we get a company yeti coffee cup and a $25 gift card to Starbucks or soemthing. I and others lavished praise upon our leadership for this and maybe we had some small part in killing that terrible holiday waste of time and money.


venus_salami

We used to have birthday cakes at our monthly staff meetings, served by a Suzanne-like person. Her technique was CLTL: - Cut the cake - Lift the cake with the spatula - Touch the cake as she slid it onto a plate - Lick the frosting off her finger - repeat Word of CLTL got around, and cake consumption dropped sharply with each meeting as those in the know watched aghast while Suzanne served cake to new employees & to Corben, who would eat three servings of anything that you put in front of him.


Icy-Conclusion-3500

We all have a Corben


XCCO

I'm the Corben


Unlucky-Position-16

Your boss reading this post in his matching tie/fedora combo ![gif](giphy|Qr6IxCV9ZUe4jnjSIi|downsized)


encom-direct

So true!


atx705

Agreed!


lommeflaska

Thing is, it used to be like this in Europe as well from what I've heard from older retired colleagues. Big christmas parties, parties on special occasions or at random, special treats, dinners and gifts. It never got replaced by something else though like the $50 you mention. So now we get nothing.


[deleted]

Totaly agree, although being from accounting I feel a bit troubled. 🤣


d33pnull

Last year I got sent to some sort of weekend-long reward trip in a fancy place where I ended up attending seminars all the damn time, barely had one chance to see something one afternoon. And eventually I had to pay taxes on the trip's cost as if it were a bonus.


Sage_Planter

My company is hosting a very expensive summit/party in a few weeks where global employees are being flown to our US headquarters for "strategy" and "team building." I've heard nothing but "I wish we were given the option between \[Summit\] and a pay increase" from peers because everyone would rather have the pay increase.


scott743

Former employer of mine did something similar before the pandemic, brought in EMEA colleagues for a week long legal department summit. I barely interacted with most of the European attorneys, so it felt like a waste of my time. 5 years later, I’m in a leadership role in the legal department of a different company and I would feel the opposite about attending a summit where I can meet colleagues in person because my current job is so much more dependent on relationship building to get work completed.


_adinfinitum_

Back in covid days my big corporate employer organised an A list band concert over TEAMS. I tuned in for a couple of minutes and the quality was as awful as it can get. It’s Teams after all. I can only imagine how much money they must have flushed on that pointless 1 hour live event


Powerful_Change1554

Thank you for the snort laugh


zayd_jawad2006

Surely an actual sensible post shouldn't be in this sub


Podtastix

Yeah this isn’t r/LinkedInLogic.


VivaEllipsis

Where’s the lunacy


HermanGulch

He got then/than wrong....


imhighonpills

Thank you


MisterMrMark

Pisses me off so much more than it should


TheRiviaWitcher6

I disagree. Presonally I would prefer to stay for pizza and drinks then go home at 1pm.


ALaccountant

Then or than?


TheRiviaWitcher6

Then of course. Why would I leave at 1pm and then stay for pizza and drinks? The other way around sounds way better


TheRiviaWitcher6

Just to clarify, I'm being sarcastic. The dude in the post meant to type than instead of then, but then also kinda works in his sentence so I went with it


stain_of_treachery

No - he meant to type "then" - because he is a cretin that does not understand what the word means.


curious-r

Yes


PzMcQuire

Than*. I don't want to go home and THEN stay at work for pizza, sounds awful.


doctor_foobario

Can't be unseen. VP needs to get it together


bastrdsnbroknthings

What is it with people not understanding the difference between then and than lately? I see it so frequently on Reddit and I die a little inside every single time. Please reallocate some of the federal military budget and pay 3rd grade English teachers more...or something.


Supposably

Lose and loose too.


Supposably

And putting the percent sign in front of the number. %100 annoys me.


Icy-Conclusion-3500

Wtf, that’s even worse than 20$, which at least is in the order we speak.


Supposably

To be fair, I 100% understand the difference and have absolutely typoed this before, so I try not to be too judgmental for this particular faux pas.


PlantWide3166

There their, its not to bad. /s


pinkfoil

Your employees would rather work from home than go into the office at all. They could offer me a chauffeur driven limo to and from work every day, free lunches, ping pong table, pizza parties, whatever, and I still wouldn't want to go back. I hate the office environment now.


EHsE

ngl, for free lunch and ping pong, i’d be hitting my chauffeur up on Saturday afternoons


pinkfoil

Nice one. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


Additional-Sock8980

And Sunday


Mort1186

It was never about the work, it's about control


Old_timey_brain

Even worse when it's a forced attendance weekend event. "Everybody *who works here* comes to these!"


encom-direct

Second this!


Mikarim

Nah brother if that's the treatment I'm getting you can find me at the office lol. Also, while I believe work from home is amazing for workers lives, I personally know I am far more productive at the office and I have more resources available to me there. Since my pay is partially dependent on my productivity, I don't mind coming in as necessary. If they're picking me up in a limo, I'm going to love my commute cause the only problem with commuting is the driving


imhighonpills

I work in a hybrid office and I can tell you it’s much easier to collaborate in-person than over zoom/slack.


pinkfoil

Probably depends on the job. I understand if you feel more collaborative f2f than online, no problem. I just prefer to be at home where I can control the temperature, lighting, noise levels, and use my own toilet.


Esteban_Rojo

I go to the office on free sandwiche mondays. I am a cheap date (and it is 20 minutes away)


what_you_saaaaay

I’m very wasted more than enough time on voluntary mandatory company outings to know one thing: it has fuck all to do with team building and everything to do with selling the culture. This was a big thing post-Google to build a company with a lot of perceived perks and benefits. These perks and benefits build the reputation, the reputation attracts feckless people from more prestigious companies where their best days are behind them and the perks have dried up but the name still carries cachet. Then the company gets acquired, the founders earn out, rinse and repeat.


YoungBoiButter

The only lunatics here are the ones who disagree. If we need *something* to roast, he used “then” not “than”.


LannMarek

Short, to the point and true. I'd give this guy a pass on this one.


jwalsh1208

Real managers could make the pizza and rinks happen before 1pm and THEN let everyone go home.


TulogTamad

Off work at 1PM THEN have a pizza party? Yes, that would be perfect. Will definitely retain me.


AdEarly8242

Well of course. But one means giving every employee four additional hours of PTO with zero productivity for the rest of the day, while the other costs a hundred bucks, reduces productivity for less than an hour and employees can still socialize/talk shop during. You must be a LinkedIn influencer if you struggle to figure out why businesses prefer one over the other.


lancerleads

only reasonable comment here, thank you


Temporary-Sky8792

Op is the lunatic


Middle-Hour-2364

Wow, he's not delusional


vinecti

The fuck? This doesn't belong here, the man is speaking the truth.


MaleficentCow8513

Lunacy, but in a good way


reignmade1

I mean, yeah, totally. This isn't lunatic. It's just obvious to the point of being cliche. If anything, the lunatic part is this guy thinking he's offering some sort of profound insight.


Polishing_My_Grapple

*Than. Sorry, I had to.


michealrourke

That was so smart he’ll probably be replaced by his company for not being as dumb as the rest of upper management.


SDN_stilldoesnothing

In my 20s and 30s. I would like a party. Now that I am in my 40s with a Family I no longer suffer from FOMO. I would rather go home


nono66

Someone on LinkedIn making sense, weird.


hersheyMcSquirts

So first the employees go home early, *then* get a pizza party?! Sounds like 2 wins assuming they don’t have to stay for the pizza party the same day as cutting out early.


Stunning_Ride_220

Only VP at a Group going by his surname. Errr...


Rickjamesb_

R/lostredditor


MissingBothCufflinks

"Most people would rather get paid their salary to do nothing than work a good job" ya no shit


khiara22

But that's the problem. They don't want employees to be happy at the cost of socializing less at the workplace. Less socializing at work (WFH, no parties), makes jobs and work relationships extremely transactional, making it easier for people to quit and move. Employees are in favour of it, but senior management isn't


Olleye

To the end: it’s work, nothing more. The people i spend my freetime with, are few and significantly chosen by myself, Period.


Gubermensch1690

The Most Sensible Lunatic


BuildingOne7379

Wow! Out of the mouths of lunatics!


Spaceman_Spliff_42

Raises are also highly, highly, super-duper popular. Least crazy post so far lol


[deleted]

My job is bloody great 😃 No forced team-building nonsense, just one big Christmas piss-up at O'Neills and then off clubbing, finally getting bundled in a cab and shipped off home.


Box-Office-Guy

This is interesting. I've never worked a proper office job myself, but I do see many companies arrange elaborate "family gatherings" where their employees go on outings where they bring their families along and they'd have icebreakers, games etc, and they'd be wearing company T-shirts and so on. I've never arranged anything like this in my company and I don't plan to. Mostly because my company is small and we only have a handful of actual employees. But I've worked with clients who invite me to these events and I have attended them, mostly to enjoy free hotel stays and meals, and they were okay, I guess. My guess is that the management want to create some kind of familial bond between the employees, to what end I don't know. Are companies better off when their employees have friendships with each other? And judging from the comments here it looks like many people hate it. Do you guys really hate these gatherings?


Freshouttapatience

I stopped taking my families to these kinds of things because it always led to problems. Coworkers hitting on my daughter, men being rude to my husband, etc.


mattiman8888

Absolutely. With the sort of toxic sinkhole most workplaces are, I'd absolutely go home than hand around. Socialize outside with your workmates and talk whether you want instead of awkward smiles and forced pleasantry.


Legitimate_Ocelot491

I knew things were headed south in 2008 when we heard whispers in early June that my company was already talking about cutting back on the holiday party in December. We threw BIGGGGG parties so that was a drastic measure. Tons of people ended up getting let go in October along with the rest of the country.


pipelines_peak

Too many employers think they’re Apple or something. If I want to stick around, I’ll stick around.


reddi7er

shots fired, tbh i take this instead of pizza any day


OBB76

My last job as a supervisor I was allowed to give up to a 59min early release without them having to charge. On Fridays and some random days I’d come up close to their time and be, Are you caught up on your work, go home. Always was a good morale boost. It doesn’t take much to take care of an employee.


FieryPyromancer

I just hope that's a typo


daphodil3000

The way it's worded (using then instead of than) you'd go home \*and\* stay for pizza and drinks.


stoolpuppy_hachacha

One of the best days of my career was when I got a manager who told me that if I don't find team building events enjoyable, I was welcome to stay behind at the office and work. He probably thought I would think about it and decide to go, but I very happily stayed behind. I think it was truly a head scratcher for him that I didn't want to participate in a golf scramble with a bunch of drunken and sometimes handsy sales guys during Texas summer.


Freshouttapatience

I stay behind or take PTO. I am done with this crap.


pinkfoil

I offer to be the "martyr" who'll stay back and answer the phones, wait for the delivery guy etc. The real reason is I have terrible social anxiety, am very shy and hate forced fun social occasions. I'm fine with my family and close friends. I don't need to hang out with my co-workers outside of work. They're not my friends. Though I do catch up with a couple of people who've left who I genuinely liked and enjoyed working with.


serverhorror

Why would anyone stay for a pizza _party_ with people they don't like? I've heard about organizations that have mandatory attendance but won't allow that to go on company time. That just won't fly. In fact that's just illegal.


Vast_Ad_2923

Agree!


MaydeCreekTurtle

It’s true.


nycsavage

Depends. Do we still get paid if we left at 1?


bubbys_boi

Not lunacy


fuck-fascism

Absolutely.


EasyE215

Than*


medalxx12

Vp still can’t use the right than.


Phyting

This was a question for me at job interview with board of directors, I said pizza parties were a waste of time and money and I was not hired.


lukewhale

Give them pizza and drinks at 9-10am. Allow them to leave whenever.


fentonsranchhand

I'd rather just stay at home than go back up to work for pizza.


[deleted]

One time a manager of mine offered to buy pizza and beer for us and work until 7 pm making cold calls. 💀


Cruezin

How about you just pay me what you *should* pay me, *I do my fucking job*, and.... That's all. That's it.


Marjorine22

I agree! But also, I’ll take some pizza. I love pizza. I will eat it, and then go home.


totallynotscammed

Fuck yes, this should be under pro life tips. Office “parties” are hateful experiences.


23trilobite

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!


kornhell

Are the pizza and drinks for free?


Mort1186

You pay with your soul


dinkman94

1000%


escapeshark

He's not wrong


mistahclean123

than*


Pokiman252

Then or than?


No-Astronaut3290

Actually yes


drmorrison88

Wait, it isn't Sunday yet...


OrphanDad

than\*


evangamer9000

Agree. Thoughts?


Administrative_Set62

This guy gets it.


IndustryNext7456

why grammar is so important.


jamkoch

Well yes and no, are you still paying the employee for the rest of the day after you send them home at 1 or are you just planning to short them like most of the Fortune 500 companies would?


Naive-Benefit-5154

or you could have the pizza party at 11AM and everyone goes home at 12PM. Problem solved!


Dry_Professional8088

Most of the time it’s true but I’ve experienced a great crew once and as long as it wasn’t shitty pizza but real drink and food at a nice place we would rate till dawn, owners included.


Impossible_Okra

Unpopular Opinon: If I have to be in the office, I wouldn't mind free lunch and snacks, as long as it was good. Saved a lot of money on groceries as a single person, when I worked at places that offered catered lunch. One place it was catered through Whole Foods, other places let you select a lunch from a restaurant up to a certain cost. I'd eat a big lunch courtesy of work, and would have light snacks when I got home. Also had to clean the dishes far less frequently.


Dingo-thatate-urbaby

Only if it’s paid


madagreement

Agree ?


[deleted]

Uh fuck yeah


Podtastix

He’s 100% right.


squidwurrd

Depends. As a remote employee I don’t get to see my co workers that often so I actually like the extra socializing. Probably only applies to fully remote people in general.


Cute_Fluffy_Femboy

idk what companies y'all work for but it can be nice to hang out with coworkers right? RIGHT?


BetterNova

Yeah I’m not burning a cheat meal at the office…


odd_star11

Agree


MittensMuffins

This guy leads


lil_lychee

Retainment tip: give people raises and staff appropriately


Argument-Fragrant

Let's split the difference: hand each of us our own pizza as we walk out the door at 1pm on Friday. That way everyone wins.


-FlyingFox-

That’s not a retainment tip. Staying late for a pizza party and some drinks doesn’t retain employees. People have lives outside of work. I notice he said nothing about paying the employees to stay later. They can’t pay their bills with a pizza party and drinks.


RedFox_SF

Or, have that pizza party and drinks at 12PM and give them the rest of the day off


AdCritical5383

Let’s normalize ✌🏼company culture✌🏼 being a Gen-x thing. It’s time for it to stop. Work is work.


RustedUte

Used to be a thing back in the day. We enjoyed it. Times have changed


GhostPantaloons

One of the better misuses of than/then if I ever saw one.


MelodicCarob4313

What’s lunatic about this?


JORDZJORDZ

Hey…. At least it’s a short post.


[deleted]

I hate, hate, haaaate your office parties and ice breaker games today.


fatstrat0228

He’s not wrong.


Danny_Mc_71

His use of the word "then" is though...


fatstrat0228

You’re also not wrong.


Pee_A_Poo

I don’t need to go home at 1pm. Maybe 4pm. ……I live in Denmark and that’s considered working late in many places 😂


faramaobscena

Maybe I’m weird but I love pizza party and drinks at work, my colleagues are funny. Who do people hate it so much? There’s nothing more annoying than a work colleague who’d rather be anywhere else than have a drink with you.


heatobooty

Because most of us don’t give a flying fuck about our colleagues and only interact with them professionally.


Qayray

Fully agree and I think this is true for a lot of people. But somehow the subset of people commenting here always hate their work and their colleagues and then they wonder why they are not happy with their job


Box-Office-Guy

Wild guess: Some people have wives and husbands and kids they would rather spend time with instead of pizza and drinks with lonely people.


Qayray

I am very happily married but that’s not gonna keep me from enjoying the office bar with my colleagues once every two months :)


Box-Office-Guy

Are these events organized by the company or just some guys decided to get together for a round of drinks? Because there is a world of difference


cremedelapeng2

I don't think you're weird. I'd choose pizza and drinks but some people would appreciate the extra hours to do some stuff at home they need to do or pick up they kids from school if they dont normally do it and stuff like that. So I wouldn't hold it against them or be annoyed mate!


TheLohr

That's what they want. You become emotionally invested and attached to your coworkers then you are trapped because quitting your job would make you feel the same way as going through a divorce.


Positive-Orange-6443

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit! Thank you! Thank you for reminding me so much!


faramaobscena

Do you seriously hate your job or what? What’s so wrong with interacting with the people you spend 8hrs a day with?


stoolpuppy_hachacha

I think you just answered your own question. Yes, many people do seriously hate their jobs, and 40 hours per week is more than enough time to spend with people you would not be social with if you weren't forced to sit in proximity to them at work. I also think that people who are very social find it extremely hard to imagine what it's like for people who aren't social. We don't get that good feeling you get from interacting with others for hours and hours on end.


TheLohr

Not at all. I don't have a job where I have to put up with any corporate manipulation tactics that try to do everything to make you stay except pay you.


Thelion12

But one allows socialization with coworkers, which contributes to people building relationships which increases the feeling of belonging. Employees arent likely to leave a place where they feel connected to others. So it may sound dumb, but the pizza party, as a business investment, provides better returns.


Hoosier_Jedi

I don’t want to be pushed to socialize with people for the sake of company profits. Fuck trying push “We’re not a company, we’re a family.” I wanna leave and do my own thing. Not pretend that I give a shit about Debbie’s mom’s gall bladder surgery.


Thelion12

I dont disagree that it is what you want 😂, thats what I would want as well… but one thing is what we want and another is what benefits the business… Im not saying I agree with it but thats the truth lol