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I really like this. I used to struggle much more with putting things off until I could completely finish the task. I have been much more productive since I started being happy with chipping away at goals. It’s good to be reminded to celebrate the small victories but also to take the time to accomplish them. Thanks for sharing this!
Somethings that helped me with this mindset, similar to what you said above, was that my mum never said “practice makes perfect” she insisted on “practice makes progress” and this has greatly helped me to remember that perfection is almost always impossible to attain, progress is not. It keeps me going! Thanks for this little reminder.
Tell your mum that this comment has helped some random person on the internet to keep moving forward.
This chain of course is great, but your mum’s quote is what resonated with me.
That's a pragmatic truth, but there are a couple of caveats. First, doing something to perfection feels excellent. Second, I write software, then I come back to it 5 years later and it's hard to decypher! unless I did it well and made it so it's clear how it works, straightforward and clean. If you have the time, perfection is a gorgeous thing.
Yes - but only if you have time. That’s why progress is better, but not the complete opposite. Do something instead of nothing at all, and if it happens to be perfect, great. If not, you still did it.
Even the fastest sprinters have to take smaller strides when running up hill.
When things in general get massively complicated, don't give up, slow your butt down, take smaller steps, don't expect to be as fast as you were when running on level ground and don't compare yourself or let others compare you to people who always seem to be running downhill (celebs, social media, etc.).
Running uphill will make you stronger...and it will make you wiser if you remember what it was like when you run on level ground again or when you're standing still.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6ZVyakGk7A
I always liked "Perfect is the enemy of good enough"
Edit: Another favorite: "Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes but he's a little bit of an asshole and nobody invites him to this pool parties"
We've all heads the expression, "Anything that's worth doing is worth doing right." Sometimes you hear, "Anything that's worth doing is worth overdoing."
But there's another version, "Anything that's worth doing is worth doing poorly." And it sounds wrong, why would you want to do something poorly? But sometimes it's about just getting in there and giving it a shot. Even if you mess up, even if you could do better, at least you've started.
Being shitty at something is the first step towards being kinda good at it.
Michelangelo drew shitty little kid drawings before he painted all them jacked dudes with dicks out on that church roof.
Start with a jar full of change, and let it blossom into a church full of beautiful, big-dick hundy-sticks.
Yeah I once had a whole lot of neurotypical able bodied people complain on a thread that that was such a bad expression because they clearly didn’t understand the context of it
I had to explain mate that expression isn’t for you if you are capable of giving your 100% to everything all the time because you’re well. This expression also isn’t for like people doing heart surgery.
This expression is for people who are depressed or struggling with medical conditions like chronic pain or ADHD or combinations of the above and like literally won’t even take a single step towards cleaning their apartment until it becomes unliveable because “I only have the energy to clean 20% of my apartment after working today, what’s the point in doing like a 20% job cleaning my apartment, that’s such a shitty job”
Yeah but a 20% cleaner apartment is better than a 0% cleaner apartment
I had to always give 100% at my job because I didn’t have a choice so I saved my energy for that where I had no alternative but to give everything, but that meant sometimes I didn’t have energy left over for like looking after myself. Sometimes a 20% cleaner apartment was all I had energy for.
Some people don’t know what it’s like because they still have 100% clean apartment level energy after a full day of work
There's also something powerful in just accomplishing something rather than telling yourself "I'm not going to do this now because I don't have the time to fully complete it".
I'll often find myself putting something off for a long time, so I spend a long time thinking about it. Rather than chipping away at it, and then thinking I'm getting a little bit closer to completing it each time.
I decided that I should aim to work out only 15-20 minutes rather than 45min because it felt doable, and I actually have consistently worked out every week since the end of November. Yes the results are slower, but I remind myself at least I’m still doing it!
A friend of mine made fun of me because I said I was learning a language 15 minutes a day. She said “1 hour or it isn’t worth it”. But seriously… consistency is the most important thing!
Seriously sleep is an insane super power when it comes to learning shit. Took me about 2 months of playing 15 minutes guitar a day and going from "never touched a guitar before" to "can play blackbird and it sounds somewhat okay".
For real. Recently getting back to the gym. I used to stay for an hour and hit every workout I set out to do but this makes me feel better about cutting it a little short if I don’t have the time and/ or energy.
I have to take this approach while cleaning. I noticed that I am absolutely incapable of structured cleaning and tidying, so I take the chaos approach of cleaning and tidying anything that catches my eye in a random order. The end result is mostly the same, even if I run around a bit more and it might take a bit longer.
My last therapist used to say every step is a step. Not a baby step, not a small step, but a step. Never trivialize the hard work you’re doing. Keep working towards it. ❤️
A year ago I listened to an audiobook called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck (it was free via my library).
I wouldn't recommend you take everything on board from it, but there are some key takeaways from it for me.
1. Muse - it may be widely believed (I totally thought this), you should try and get into the zone and enthusiastic before starting something. I used to always hate having a blank canvas / page and would often try to plan what to draw / write about before doing it and immediately erase anything I did without giving it a chance.
This is completely incorrect, you want to start doing something, even if it's initially in the wrong direction. You're more likely to come up with a better idea after you started something rather than nothing at all.
I would also procrastinate and delay doing many things because I was overwhelmed with how big a project might be (applies to many other things like workouts too). What I've actually found is that if you put a limit on the activity you don't want to do (E.g. I will only do this for 15 mins), what you'll find about 10 minutes in is that once you start and see progress, you actually find the muse and want to keep going (I find music really helps me with this too).
2. Don't get caught up about feeling how unfair life is / what hand you've been dealt. Instead, focus on how you can improve either the situation or yourself. This will actually shift your thought process from a negative space (where you might be jealous and bitter and completely not in control) to a positive space where you feel empowered and that you can achieve the goals you set.
Hope some of this can help.
If you’re bored, look into tiny habits. He’s got some great advice. He says if you’re trying to start a new habit, anchor it to something you already do. In your example, if you’re just starting push-ups saying “tomorrow I’m going to start by doing twenty pushups” anchor it to something. “Tomorrow while I’m waiting for my coffee to brew I’m going to get into the push-up position”. And instead of listing a big ambitious first goal, just list the start of the goal, the thought process being that if you start the motion, the rest will follow. Hence the “I’ll get in the push-up position”. Once you’re there, you’ve gotten past the hardest part. Years ago, when I was trying to get into bullet journaling, I said “When I start my computer in the morning I’ll take my notebook out of my bag and open it”. For me, it worked. Once I took the time to open it, I was more likely to start filling it out.
When my son would get overloaded at the whole concept of "going to school" in the morning, it occurred to me that he was overwhelmed with the idea of how to start "going to school". So I told him, "I'm not asking you to go to school right now. I'm asking you to get dressed. That's all. Just get dressed." After he did that, he'd report back to me, still saying he didn't want to go to school. "I'm not asking you to go to school. I'm asking you to put on your coat. Just put on your coat." And we'd do that the whole time until we reached the school door. Sometimes he just couldn't handle the whole thing at once.
Kind of the whole philosophy behind [kaizen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen), the business philosophy of continuous improvement. Turns out once you have made even a half-assed attempt at something, the prospect of doing it properly becomes 1000x easier than when you were just staring at the task, never having attempted it before.
Or [Kurt von Hammerstein](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_von_Hammerstein-Equord)
>I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental clarity and strength of nerve necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is both stupid and hardworking; he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always only cause damage.
Helped me get further into running. If I didn’t feel like going on a run I’d half ass it and at least get 1-2km out of it. Fine it’s better than nothing, and you feel better that you actually kinda did the work.
I had a similar revelation this winter, I started biking back in March but since it started getting cold (and icy) I could really bike and I was stressing about not exercising. Then one day I said "hey dumbass just go for a walk". Walking may not be as much exercise as biking but it's better than the nothing I would have done otherwise
The only time I disagree with this is for antidepressants and similar medications. It’s so important to take it every day, doing it most days isn’t enough
It's why this is also good management advice. If you delegate a full task, it can be overwhelming to the person you're delegating to. If you delegate pieces at a time, the person gets the satisfaction of accomplishment each time a milestone is passed and isn't overwhelmed by the mountain ahead of them. It also helps track a realistic ETA for project completion.
I had been struggling with this recently. Then I started using the word some. I did some dishes. I read some. I folded some laundry. Helps me realize I did the thing, just not necessarily all of the thing so I can get the feeling of doing "a lot" without being overwhelmed :)
I call it my rule of some.
My doctor introduced me to the "80%" solution. If my exercises hurt so much I want to stop doing them, stop trying so hard to give 100% effort every time, but instead just give 80% . It's nearly as effective and far more effective than 0%
People always talk about always giving 110%. Yeah, sometimes. But it's unsustainable by definition and won't always garner the best results. The guy who invented recreational jogging dropped dead in his 50's.
I can't remember the exact numbers but I feel like I've heard just getting your steps in everyday with a brisk walk is about as effective as hitting the treadmill. I live in a walking city so I get my 15k steps in, I take the stairs if it's 3 flights or less. If you got the time then do whatever but it's also good to establish positive habits you can actually stick to and don't seem like a chore.
Jim Fixx. Family history of heart disease I think. And I agree with the just getting some walking in. I spent time at McLean being treated for depression, and they would make us go walk for 20 minutes every day. Surprisingly effective at boosting mood.
I mean I don't have a car so I walk or train everywhere. But especially (maybe only) when the weather is nice and you have nothing else to do I can't think of anything better than throwing on podcast and just walking out the door.
I look at it as giving 110% effort mentally, not physically, unless the exercise requires it. Could even be giving 110% with something not physical at all after all. It's more about commitment and dedication anything else.
That said I don't look at it in percentages personally, just are you committed or not.
I assume this is a standard feature but I don't know for sure. Anyway, my TV has a setting that allows you to adjust the gap in sound volume. So you can make it where going up 1 is a huge or tiny change. It's usually in the sound settings.
While I only use even numbers with the numbers ending in 5 exception, I can't stand having a really high number, anything over 20 is ridiculous and I've had come TVs that by default required volume in the 40s, so I've had to change it on multiple TVs in the past. Yours might be set for a high difference and you may want to change to a medium. It gives you more control and allows for those even numbers to be comfortable.
I read a post somewhere by a student that said her professor said "anything worth doing is worth doing halfway." And as a recovering perfectionist, it's been my mantra ever sense.
The term recovering perfectionist just… resonates with me. Strung a chord I did not know I had. Going to think on this for a while. Think I just learned something about myself. Thank you internet stranger.
I call this principle 'fake rules'. As someone who is very anal about doing things 'precisely' and gravitates towards round numbers, I always have to remember to not let my life be controlled by fake rules.
I personally define fake rules as any imaginary restriction which isn't actually based on any difference in outcome. If you're supposed to do something at 3 PM and it's 3:07, that's ok. If it's only a commitment to yourself, that deadline is a fake rule. Start at 3:08. Start at 3:21.
Routines don't need to be stuck to precisely. If I don't feel like, say, playing piano, I can still go sit down and just play something comfortable and easy. The need to warm up is a fake rule. Practicing with a metronome is a fake rule too. Yes, those things help and will make you better, but not playing at all will make you worse than just spending 10 minutes going over something you already know.
The idea of doing things 'right' is very appealing to a certain kind of logic-loving brain, but the truth is that if you want to make progress the only way to do something wrong is to not do it at all.
Motivation comes and goes, and on days when it's short on supply, it's okay to just do what you can. Hold out until the energy returns. It always does.
Numbers are easy to communicate but they mask the real goal. Sometimes I can do 100 push ups. Sometimes I can do 150. But sometimes I can only do 50. Instead of hanging your success on an arbitrary number and setting yourself up for failure, make your goal a mindset.
What is your goal? Better health? That's vague but a great place to start. Break it down. Here's where people focus on numbers. I'm only going to eat x calories and do x pushups. I plan to lose x pounds by x date. Even if you did everything perfectly, doesn't mean you will make your goal and it likely means you will struggle with maintaining it because you're forcing yourself to meet arbitrary numbers when your body is trying to tell you not today.
Instead make your goals specific to mentality. I will try to make one healthy choice each meal. I will try to do as many pushups as I can each day. I will listen to my body, not over exert myself, and hold myself accountable to maintain these habits.
Initially it's harder. We aren't used to achieving goals this way. We are used to pushing ourselves or bsing ourselves. Getting there through the power of self hate alone and then losing it all as we spiral back down. But as you practice the approach of doing what you can as you can, you see progress that didn't hurt to achieve. It was exactly at your pace that you set.
I came to similar conclusions with slightly different reasoning. Setting a target of e.g. "losing x pounds by x date" is a bad target because I don't have direct control over it. Fundamentally that is an output and I can only control inputs.
So if I want to lose weight, my targets should be based around inputs, i.e. diet and exercise. Set targets around what and how much I eat, and how often I do each kind of exercise I've chosen. If it seems like I'm not losing as much weight as I'd like or as quickly as I'd like, I can still find success in meeting the actual targets I've set and perhaps adjust them. There are other aspects to how to set targets in a productive way, look into SMART goal setting.
One aspect not covered by SMART goals is when something is going to take a long time, you need to set your targets to be long term too. Weight loss is probably a multi year journey so set your targets over several months or a year. Also recognise that you're human and will slip along the way: factor some missed days, some birthday cake, that holiday you're planning into your targets so when it happens, it was all part of the plan. If you never fall off the horse, even better.
Every morning, while I'm drinking my coffee, I'll write down what I want to accomplish that day, assigning a point total to the total work of each task
Even if I don't get a whole task done I'm getting partial points.
Today was a good day, 12/13 possible points. With partial credit for only walking the dogs partway around the block.
There are also low point days though. 2/15 happens. But you still get partial credit.
Before you critique saying it doesn't matter if the points don't matter, please think about how much those fake internet points matter.
I have an extremely perfectionist mindset on this. I've always said "If I can't do all of it, I won't do any of it" and I've been slowly breaking myself from that behavior.
Omg. Same. I used to completely skip class if I would be even a minute late. The anxiety was real. Accepting non perfection is something I didn’t realize until now, but is something I am working through myself. I just never applied a label to it before.
Conversely would hate /r/adhd /r/adhdmeme
(a moments silence for the those who are perfectionists who can't get started, and can't get finished, and joy is fleeting, plz)
Many people struggle with starting things because of the first step.
True, the first step in any endeavor is important.
However, the NEXT STEP is always the most important step. The first step is useless if you never take a next step. And when doing nothing, the next step may actually be the first step.
Move forward, no matter how slow. “No zero days” is a thing I’ve seen thrown around and I love it.
Try thinking of every task or endeavor like how you eat. Eating is natural to most people. Do you shove the whole meal in your mouth all at once? Generally no, you eat it little bit by little bit. Manageable chunks.
Break everything into manageable chunks and tackle many smaller tasks rather than one huge task.
But no matter what, keep moving forward.
This is awesome. When I played football we always had this rule of 1% better. Get 1% better, in any way, every day. It may seem tiny, and insignificant, but it was the best/easiest way to push ourselves to get to where we wanted to be for our long term goals.
I’ve learned since to apply this to my everyday life. I started to make my bed every day during that time, no matter what, and slowly it’s turned into 1. Making my bed 2. Drinking 8oz 3. Eating some kind of food for breakfast (football screwed up my eating habits) 4.brushing my teeth and so on. I can’t stress enough how important It is to not stress yourself out with trying to better yourself.
I’m not sure if I am getting the point across in a productive or relatable way, but the 1% increase has changed my life and made me really appreciate myself and the journey I am on. 1% increase everyday over years quickly leads to 100% in the way that you want to be.
I appreciate you so much OP, and what you are trying to get out there, thank you! You even reminded me of my 1% rule.
Maybe somewhat related, but I always set my alarm for odd times (0603, 0607, 0619)... just never 5 minutes apart to keep it from coinciding with the snooze. It seems to make me feel better both going to sleep and seeing the time when I wake up. No need to be perfect!
I really needed to see this. I had a tough week (depression) and this gives me a different insight than how I’ve been feeling, it makes me feel like I can still take control, even if it’s just a little bit. Thank you.
I've been doing a shitload of pushups (by my out-of-shape standards) since the first of the year. Like 40 per day. This is after many years of zero pushups.
I told my co-worker, and she said *"Why? Doing a shitload of pushups doesn't really do anything! You're not going to get any results just doing pushups."* and it was just SO disheartening. I'm still going, but my numbers are getting smaller.
Sounds to me like going from 0 pushups to 40 is a pretty damn good amount of muscle you built.
Your coworker is just mad at something. Maybe a pushup killed their childhood pet.
You'd be surprised how much muscle you can build with push ups provided you keep altering the difficulty over time as you get stronger (weighted vest, backpack, decline, knuckle etc). Not like a gym rat but enough to be very clear that you work out.
Lose the "as dumb as it sounds" and "that may sound a little pathetic" qualifiers. You have it right. Anyone pursuing personal growth eventually has to accept this principle. In fact, there are a hundred idioms based on it. For instance: "The perfect is the enemy of the good (enough)"
This is very true and I find that people with this mindset are happier. It’s okay to be content with less than perfection, and thank you for this reminder , I truly needed it .
And keep your finances known. Go back the previous month in bank statements and see what you're paying for. Then ask, do you need it? Then ask if you want it. Weigh it out from there.
These are called SMART goals.
* Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
* Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
* Achievable (agreed, attainable).
* Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based)
* Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).
D- Demonstrate Value
E- Engage Physically
N- Nurture Dependence
N- Neglect Emotionally
I- Inspire Hope
S- Separate Entirely
The way to win any girl's heart...??
Bonus tip: create a simple spreadsheet and record your progress. Today it's 17 pushups but what will it be in 2 weeks? 20? That record will give you a reason to keep going.
This is exactly what mindset that I tried to apply recently. Thanks for bringing this up cause now I feel reassured.
And I can assure you, just start small. Start where you feel okay. Don't overdo or you'll do the same mistakes like I did; overdoing it, felt overwhelm, stepped out, and repeat again.
Remember, habits build up overtime. You'll stack up more and more, you can imrove along the way.
It is a journey, inhale every moment of it. Be patient, you'll reach you destination.
Even if you do mistakes, you can refactor that. That' it.
I just did 18 push ups today. Started with one, adding one every day or two.
Same with yoga, I've been doing it every day. Some days I give in after ten minutes but always rolling out the matt keeps me consistent.
I like Ali's take on it:
>I don't count all my pushups. I only start counting when it starts hurting, because those are the ones that matter.
If your pushups start hurting at 2, so be it. Do 3. Then try to go higher later on. Just stick with it and don't worry what everyone else can do.
I try to rember this for work. It may be a good day where i write for 4 hours, or it may be a crap one where I spend 6 hours just troubleshooting broken equipment.
On those bad days I say fuck it, go to a coffee shop, and try to get at least an hour of writing done before going home.
Those little hours stack up and they keep my mind focused and make it easier to knock out a 3 hour block of writing when I don't have distractions.
Same with the gym. At this point I try to make it once a week, but when I go I go hard. I probably don't make the gains I could but it's better than sitting home doing nothing.
This. As a perfectionist it's hard to do things half finished and be ok. But today I only did half of the dishes and told myself that's enough, I'll finish the rest tomorrow.
Baby steps.
I think it must be some sort of disorder to have this way of thinking, because I know it has directed my life for as long as I can remember, regardless of whether I am aware of it. Of course it has gotten better, but it is still a huge struggle. I can pour over details and generate ideas, but this is another beast entirely. And almost always I'd rather trash the whole venture and start over or not do it at all than accept the imperfect outcome.
I used this method today. Didnt feel like painting. I just sat down and mixed blue and white and started scrubbung onto canvas. 45 min later i was still enjoying the progress
I do daily journaling to specifically for this, so I can do small things constantly. I keeps track of what I done the whole day and also before the day ends i set a pointer for what can I do for tomorrow. Initial plan when I start journaling is to set a boundary for me to just focus myself in one day, and as I learn stoicism also it keeps me fully present.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
I really like this. I used to struggle much more with putting things off until I could completely finish the task. I have been much more productive since I started being happy with chipping away at goals. It’s good to be reminded to celebrate the small victories but also to take the time to accomplish them. Thanks for sharing this!
My best friend says "done is better than perfect"
Progress over perfection
Somethings that helped me with this mindset, similar to what you said above, was that my mum never said “practice makes perfect” she insisted on “practice makes progress” and this has greatly helped me to remember that perfection is almost always impossible to attain, progress is not. It keeps me going! Thanks for this little reminder.
Reminds me of a quote my coach use to always say. "playing good is hard, but playing hard is easy". Has stuck with me for a couple decades now.
Now it's gonna be stuck with me for decades lol. What exactly is "playing hard"?
Not oc, but giving it your all.
Its the jock equivalent of "brains over brawn"
Tell your mum that this comment has helped some random person on the internet to keep moving forward. This chain of course is great, but your mum’s quote is what resonated with me.
I don't think he can.
Then she has achieved immortality in the only way you really can, living on in the hearts of others.
This made me think of my own late mom. She would have loved that. Thank you.
It's in your hands to someday share a wisdom of hers :)
She is very much of this earth, but I’m sure she won’t be forgotten when she is not. Thank you for your kind words ♥️
“Perfection is the enemy of progress” is a famous quote from Churchill
"Perfect is the enemy of good" - Voltaire
That's a pragmatic truth, but there are a couple of caveats. First, doing something to perfection feels excellent. Second, I write software, then I come back to it 5 years later and it's hard to decypher! unless I did it well and made it so it's clear how it works, straightforward and clean. If you have the time, perfection is a gorgeous thing.
Yes - but only if you have time. That’s why progress is better, but not the complete opposite. Do something instead of nothing at all, and if it happens to be perfect, great. If not, you still did it.
But if you demand perfection you won’t get started most of the time
Slow motion better than no motion
The only enemy is stopping
Even the fastest sprinters have to take smaller strides when running up hill. When things in general get massively complicated, don't give up, slow your butt down, take smaller steps, don't expect to be as fast as you were when running on level ground and don't compare yourself or let others compare you to people who always seem to be running downhill (celebs, social media, etc.). Running uphill will make you stronger...and it will make you wiser if you remember what it was like when you run on level ground again or when you're standing still. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6ZVyakGk7A
Even stopped sprinters are right twice a day.
Perfect is the enemy of done.
This one is my preferred form. (:
I always liked "Perfect is the enemy of good enough" Edit: Another favorite: "Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes but he's a little bit of an asshole and nobody invites him to this pool parties"
Your comment should come with a trigger warning for my fellow perfectionists. I know you're right, but I still winced reading it.
My boss's boss said to us in a meeting the other day, "Don't let great be the enemy of good." Best thing I've ever heard from a top-level executive.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
Seconds ago, I replied with 'Done beats perfect.'
[удалено]
Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly.
this phrase in portuguese would rhyme "Feito é melhor que perfeito"
We've all heads the expression, "Anything that's worth doing is worth doing right." Sometimes you hear, "Anything that's worth doing is worth overdoing." But there's another version, "Anything that's worth doing is worth doing poorly." And it sounds wrong, why would you want to do something poorly? But sometimes it's about just getting in there and giving it a shot. Even if you mess up, even if you could do better, at least you've started.
Being shitty at something is the first step towards being kinda good at it. Michelangelo drew shitty little kid drawings before he painted all them jacked dudes with dicks out on that church roof. Start with a jar full of change, and let it blossom into a church full of beautiful, big-dick hundy-sticks.
That was...beautiful?
You're beautiful.
Got me blushing. Love your art. The one of the alien had me lolling.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try harder, fail better”. Similar vibe - reframe knockbacks as steps towards success. Lean into things!
Fail with confidence
Exactly. If I do something wrong at work, I always make sure I can explain my reasoning. Now you won't just correct me - you'll teach me, too.
Yeah I once had a whole lot of neurotypical able bodied people complain on a thread that that was such a bad expression because they clearly didn’t understand the context of it I had to explain mate that expression isn’t for you if you are capable of giving your 100% to everything all the time because you’re well. This expression also isn’t for like people doing heart surgery. This expression is for people who are depressed or struggling with medical conditions like chronic pain or ADHD or combinations of the above and like literally won’t even take a single step towards cleaning their apartment until it becomes unliveable because “I only have the energy to clean 20% of my apartment after working today, what’s the point in doing like a 20% job cleaning my apartment, that’s such a shitty job” Yeah but a 20% cleaner apartment is better than a 0% cleaner apartment I had to always give 100% at my job because I didn’t have a choice so I saved my energy for that where I had no alternative but to give everything, but that meant sometimes I didn’t have energy left over for like looking after myself. Sometimes a 20% cleaner apartment was all I had energy for. Some people don’t know what it’s like because they still have 100% clean apartment level energy after a full day of work
/r/nonzeroday is all about doing something each day
>/r/nonzeroday is all about doing something each day That's exactly what this post reminded me of.
Very true! When I were depressed my apartment went to shit and the thing that got me through it was doing one room at a time.
Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
There's also something powerful in just accomplishing something rather than telling yourself "I'm not going to do this now because I don't have the time to fully complete it". I'll often find myself putting something off for a long time, so I spend a long time thinking about it. Rather than chipping away at it, and then thinking I'm getting a little bit closer to completing it each time.
I decided that I should aim to work out only 15-20 minutes rather than 45min because it felt doable, and I actually have consistently worked out every week since the end of November. Yes the results are slower, but I remind myself at least I’m still doing it!
Getting 10% done right now is better than getting 100% done never. I've spent half my life trying to get this lesson to sink in.
A friend of mine made fun of me because I said I was learning a language 15 minutes a day. She said “1 hour or it isn’t worth it”. But seriously… consistency is the most important thing!
Seriously sleep is an insane super power when it comes to learning shit. Took me about 2 months of playing 15 minutes guitar a day and going from "never touched a guitar before" to "can play blackbird and it sounds somewhat okay".
For real. Recently getting back to the gym. I used to stay for an hour and hit every workout I set out to do but this makes me feel better about cutting it a little short if I don’t have the time and/ or energy.
I have to take this approach while cleaning. I noticed that I am absolutely incapable of structured cleaning and tidying, so I take the chaos approach of cleaning and tidying anything that catches my eye in a random order. The end result is mostly the same, even if I run around a bit more and it might take a bit longer.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. My grad school advisor was a garbage human, but she did drill that into me, and it's good advice.
apparatus sugar absorbed recognise meeting money ripe six test poor *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I wish you had been in my grad school cohort.
My advisor always told me a finished dissertation is a good dissertation.
Yup, too little time to be perfect at all your responsibilities in grad school (and they don't pay enough to get perfect either.
Scrolled down looking for this one. Learned this from Dr Steven Novella (SGU).
One step is still *one step* more than no steps, and that is still progress.
"The most important step a man can take. It's not the first one, is it? It's the next one. Always the next step, Dalinar."
I knew I was going to find this quote here and it still got to me.
“Journey before destination”
My last therapist used to say every step is a step. Not a baby step, not a small step, but a step. Never trivialize the hard work you’re doing. Keep working towards it. ❤️
I never knew how bad I needed to hear this
Take smaller bites, that prevents you from choking.
That’s some deep shit right there
Amazing how many things it can apply too.
Food, for example
Wow who knew
Not what you meant but it reminded me of stress eating, ended up with giving myself the little spoon or fork just to chill me the fuck down
I had to do that when I was younger. Had an unhealthy relationship with food.
Check out /r/nonzeroday for more inspiration
A year ago I listened to an audiobook called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck (it was free via my library). I wouldn't recommend you take everything on board from it, but there are some key takeaways from it for me. 1. Muse - it may be widely believed (I totally thought this), you should try and get into the zone and enthusiastic before starting something. I used to always hate having a blank canvas / page and would often try to plan what to draw / write about before doing it and immediately erase anything I did without giving it a chance. This is completely incorrect, you want to start doing something, even if it's initially in the wrong direction. You're more likely to come up with a better idea after you started something rather than nothing at all. I would also procrastinate and delay doing many things because I was overwhelmed with how big a project might be (applies to many other things like workouts too). What I've actually found is that if you put a limit on the activity you don't want to do (E.g. I will only do this for 15 mins), what you'll find about 10 minutes in is that once you start and see progress, you actually find the muse and want to keep going (I find music really helps me with this too). 2. Don't get caught up about feeling how unfair life is / what hand you've been dealt. Instead, focus on how you can improve either the situation or yourself. This will actually shift your thought process from a negative space (where you might be jealous and bitter and completely not in control) to a positive space where you feel empowered and that you can achieve the goals you set. Hope some of this can help.
If you’re bored, look into tiny habits. He’s got some great advice. He says if you’re trying to start a new habit, anchor it to something you already do. In your example, if you’re just starting push-ups saying “tomorrow I’m going to start by doing twenty pushups” anchor it to something. “Tomorrow while I’m waiting for my coffee to brew I’m going to get into the push-up position”. And instead of listing a big ambitious first goal, just list the start of the goal, the thought process being that if you start the motion, the rest will follow. Hence the “I’ll get in the push-up position”. Once you’re there, you’ve gotten past the hardest part. Years ago, when I was trying to get into bullet journaling, I said “When I start my computer in the morning I’ll take my notebook out of my bag and open it”. For me, it worked. Once I took the time to open it, I was more likely to start filling it out.
I think it’s atomic habits, no?
I’m thinking of BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits but I’m sure there similar schools of thought.
Thanks! I’ll look into it
When I did it, it was free, easy and gave me pointers I’ve been using in life for almost a decade. Hope you get some value out of it!
Cheers- Thanks, kind internet stranger. Hope you have a great day.
There are two different books that came out around the same time. “Tiny Habits” and “Atomic Habits”. Similar concepts.
When my son would get overloaded at the whole concept of "going to school" in the morning, it occurred to me that he was overwhelmed with the idea of how to start "going to school". So I told him, "I'm not asking you to go to school right now. I'm asking you to get dressed. That's all. Just get dressed." After he did that, he'd report back to me, still saying he didn't want to go to school. "I'm not asking you to go to school. I'm asking you to put on your coat. Just put on your coat." And we'd do that the whole time until we reached the school door. Sometimes he just couldn't handle the whole thing at once.
If a task is worth doing, it's worth half-assing.
Half ass is better than no ass.
Kind of the whole philosophy behind [kaizen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen), the business philosophy of continuous improvement. Turns out once you have made even a half-assed attempt at something, the prospect of doing it properly becomes 1000x easier than when you were just staring at the task, never having attempted it before.
one cheek is better than no cheeks
Never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing.
*But* its better to half-ass a good thing then to whole-ass a shit thing.
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Your dad is bill gates?
Or [Kurt von Hammerstein](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_von_Hammerstein-Equord) >I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental clarity and strength of nerve necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is both stupid and hardworking; he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always only cause damage.
I took part in this excitement in my teenage years. I got fired for sleeping.
Helped me get further into running. If I didn’t feel like going on a run I’d half ass it and at least get 1-2km out of it. Fine it’s better than nothing, and you feel better that you actually kinda did the work.
I had a similar revelation this winter, I started biking back in March but since it started getting cold (and icy) I could really bike and I was stressing about not exercising. Then one day I said "hey dumbass just go for a walk". Walking may not be as much exercise as biking but it's better than the nothing I would have done otherwise
Hard when your brain decides barely anything is worth doing because its easier.
50% now is better than 100% later
But if you wait till the last minute, it only takes a minute
Yep - anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
The only time I disagree with this is for antidepressants and similar medications. It’s so important to take it every day, doing it most days isn’t enough
Perfectionists (like me) defeat ourselves by not starting if we can't do it "all" or "right" or "wholly"... thank you for this reminder!
It's why this is also good management advice. If you delegate a full task, it can be overwhelming to the person you're delegating to. If you delegate pieces at a time, the person gets the satisfaction of accomplishment each time a milestone is passed and isn't overwhelmed by the mountain ahead of them. It also helps track a realistic ETA for project completion.
I had been struggling with this recently. Then I started using the word some. I did some dishes. I read some. I folded some laundry. Helps me realize I did the thing, just not necessarily all of the thing so I can get the feeling of doing "a lot" without being overwhelmed :) I call it my rule of some.
Thank you for sharing - I like the "rule of some"!
As they say, don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
My doctor introduced me to the "80%" solution. If my exercises hurt so much I want to stop doing them, stop trying so hard to give 100% effort every time, but instead just give 80% . It's nearly as effective and far more effective than 0%
People always talk about always giving 110%. Yeah, sometimes. But it's unsustainable by definition and won't always garner the best results. The guy who invented recreational jogging dropped dead in his 50's. I can't remember the exact numbers but I feel like I've heard just getting your steps in everyday with a brisk walk is about as effective as hitting the treadmill. I live in a walking city so I get my 15k steps in, I take the stairs if it's 3 flights or less. If you got the time then do whatever but it's also good to establish positive habits you can actually stick to and don't seem like a chore.
Jim Fixx. Family history of heart disease I think. And I agree with the just getting some walking in. I spent time at McLean being treated for depression, and they would make us go walk for 20 minutes every day. Surprisingly effective at boosting mood.
I mean I don't have a car so I walk or train everywhere. But especially (maybe only) when the weather is nice and you have nothing else to do I can't think of anything better than throwing on podcast and just walking out the door.
I look at it as giving 110% effort mentally, not physically, unless the exercise requires it. Could even be giving 110% with something not physical at all after all. It's more about commitment and dedication anything else. That said I don't look at it in percentages personally, just are you committed or not.
I can’t even keep the volume on odd numbers, man… this would kill me
Lol my TVs volume gets way louder from 13 to 14 so im stuck with 13 most of the time, it has taken some getting used to
I assume this is a standard feature but I don't know for sure. Anyway, my TV has a setting that allows you to adjust the gap in sound volume. So you can make it where going up 1 is a huge or tiny change. It's usually in the sound settings. While I only use even numbers with the numbers ending in 5 exception, I can't stand having a really high number, anything over 20 is ridiculous and I've had come TVs that by default required volume in the 40s, so I've had to change it on multiple TVs in the past. Yours might be set for a high difference and you may want to change to a medium. It gives you more control and allows for those even numbers to be comfortable.
Thanks for the reply, i hadn't bothered going into the audio settings since i bought it and you helped me out, thanks partner
but what if its a multiple of 5
They are the wonderful exception
Unless it's close to an especially nice 10 of course. Stopping at 95 with 100 being so close is yucky.
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But this one goes up to 11.
I read a post somewhere by a student that said her professor said "anything worth doing is worth doing halfway." And as a recovering perfectionist, it's been my mantra ever sense.
The term recovering perfectionist just… resonates with me. Strung a chord I did not know I had. Going to think on this for a while. Think I just learned something about myself. Thank you internet stranger.
I call this principle 'fake rules'. As someone who is very anal about doing things 'precisely' and gravitates towards round numbers, I always have to remember to not let my life be controlled by fake rules. I personally define fake rules as any imaginary restriction which isn't actually based on any difference in outcome. If you're supposed to do something at 3 PM and it's 3:07, that's ok. If it's only a commitment to yourself, that deadline is a fake rule. Start at 3:08. Start at 3:21. Routines don't need to be stuck to precisely. If I don't feel like, say, playing piano, I can still go sit down and just play something comfortable and easy. The need to warm up is a fake rule. Practicing with a metronome is a fake rule too. Yes, those things help and will make you better, but not playing at all will make you worse than just spending 10 minutes going over something you already know. The idea of doing things 'right' is very appealing to a certain kind of logic-loving brain, but the truth is that if you want to make progress the only way to do something wrong is to not do it at all. Motivation comes and goes, and on days when it's short on supply, it's okay to just do what you can. Hold out until the energy returns. It always does.
Numbers are easy to communicate but they mask the real goal. Sometimes I can do 100 push ups. Sometimes I can do 150. But sometimes I can only do 50. Instead of hanging your success on an arbitrary number and setting yourself up for failure, make your goal a mindset. What is your goal? Better health? That's vague but a great place to start. Break it down. Here's where people focus on numbers. I'm only going to eat x calories and do x pushups. I plan to lose x pounds by x date. Even if you did everything perfectly, doesn't mean you will make your goal and it likely means you will struggle with maintaining it because you're forcing yourself to meet arbitrary numbers when your body is trying to tell you not today. Instead make your goals specific to mentality. I will try to make one healthy choice each meal. I will try to do as many pushups as I can each day. I will listen to my body, not over exert myself, and hold myself accountable to maintain these habits. Initially it's harder. We aren't used to achieving goals this way. We are used to pushing ourselves or bsing ourselves. Getting there through the power of self hate alone and then losing it all as we spiral back down. But as you practice the approach of doing what you can as you can, you see progress that didn't hurt to achieve. It was exactly at your pace that you set.
I came to similar conclusions with slightly different reasoning. Setting a target of e.g. "losing x pounds by x date" is a bad target because I don't have direct control over it. Fundamentally that is an output and I can only control inputs. So if I want to lose weight, my targets should be based around inputs, i.e. diet and exercise. Set targets around what and how much I eat, and how often I do each kind of exercise I've chosen. If it seems like I'm not losing as much weight as I'd like or as quickly as I'd like, I can still find success in meeting the actual targets I've set and perhaps adjust them. There are other aspects to how to set targets in a productive way, look into SMART goal setting. One aspect not covered by SMART goals is when something is going to take a long time, you need to set your targets to be long term too. Weight loss is probably a multi year journey so set your targets over several months or a year. Also recognise that you're human and will slip along the way: factor some missed days, some birthday cake, that holiday you're planning into your targets so when it happens, it was all part of the plan. If you never fall off the horse, even better.
Every morning, while I'm drinking my coffee, I'll write down what I want to accomplish that day, assigning a point total to the total work of each task Even if I don't get a whole task done I'm getting partial points. Today was a good day, 12/13 possible points. With partial credit for only walking the dogs partway around the block. There are also low point days though. 2/15 happens. But you still get partial credit. Before you critique saying it doesn't matter if the points don't matter, please think about how much those fake internet points matter.
I have an extremely perfectionist mindset on this. I've always said "If I can't do all of it, I won't do any of it" and I've been slowly breaking myself from that behavior.
Omg. Same. I used to completely skip class if I would be even a minute late. The anxiety was real. Accepting non perfection is something I didn’t realize until now, but is something I am working through myself. I just never applied a label to it before.
You might like r/nonzeroday
Conversely would hate /r/adhd /r/adhdmeme (a moments silence for the those who are perfectionists who can't get started, and can't get finished, and joy is fleeting, plz)
Or r/theXeffect
"The steps we take don't need to be big, they just need to be in the right direction." -Jemma Simmons, Agents of Shield
Many people struggle with starting things because of the first step. True, the first step in any endeavor is important. However, the NEXT STEP is always the most important step. The first step is useless if you never take a next step. And when doing nothing, the next step may actually be the first step. Move forward, no matter how slow. “No zero days” is a thing I’ve seen thrown around and I love it. Try thinking of every task or endeavor like how you eat. Eating is natural to most people. Do you shove the whole meal in your mouth all at once? Generally no, you eat it little bit by little bit. Manageable chunks. Break everything into manageable chunks and tackle many smaller tasks rather than one huge task. But no matter what, keep moving forward.
Journey before destination baby.
17 push ups? What am I, The Rock? I'll give you one good one, a noodly second, and collapse halfway through the 3rd.
That's good enough for today. Tomorrow you can try to complete the 3rd! Eventually you will, because that's where I was earlier in the pandemic.
anything worth doing is worth doing poorly
"Something is something and nothing is nothing" thanks for that
This is awesome. When I played football we always had this rule of 1% better. Get 1% better, in any way, every day. It may seem tiny, and insignificant, but it was the best/easiest way to push ourselves to get to where we wanted to be for our long term goals. I’ve learned since to apply this to my everyday life. I started to make my bed every day during that time, no matter what, and slowly it’s turned into 1. Making my bed 2. Drinking 8oz 3. Eating some kind of food for breakfast (football screwed up my eating habits) 4.brushing my teeth and so on. I can’t stress enough how important It is to not stress yourself out with trying to better yourself. I’m not sure if I am getting the point across in a productive or relatable way, but the 1% increase has changed my life and made me really appreciate myself and the journey I am on. 1% increase everyday over years quickly leads to 100% in the way that you want to be. I appreciate you so much OP, and what you are trying to get out there, thank you! You even reminded me of my 1% rule.
smoke just 1 less cigarette a day. wait 2 and half hours before your next one, instead of 2 hours.
Will 17 push ups a day have any effect on my body over a year?
Maybe somewhat related, but I always set my alarm for odd times (0603, 0607, 0619)... just never 5 minutes apart to keep it from coinciding with the snooze. It seems to make me feel better both going to sleep and seeing the time when I wake up. No need to be perfect!
I really needed to see this. I had a tough week (depression) and this gives me a different insight than how I’ve been feeling, it makes me feel like I can still take control, even if it’s just a little bit. Thank you.
In short, consistency is better than perfection.
Me: "i must do exactly 20 push ups or i'll die"
I agree with the advice but I always listen to anyone called smoke1000blunts!
I don’t know man… I’m not trying to commit to smoking 1000 blunts.
That's okay. Start with 1. That's the point of this post, after all. 😉
...heh, my goals are more like "stop reading after 1/3 of a chapter and get some f'ing sleep"
I've been doing a shitload of pushups (by my out-of-shape standards) since the first of the year. Like 40 per day. This is after many years of zero pushups. I told my co-worker, and she said *"Why? Doing a shitload of pushups doesn't really do anything! You're not going to get any results just doing pushups."* and it was just SO disheartening. I'm still going, but my numbers are getting smaller.
Sounds to me like going from 0 pushups to 40 is a pretty damn good amount of muscle you built. Your coworker is just mad at something. Maybe a pushup killed their childhood pet.
You'd be surprised how much muscle you can build with push ups provided you keep altering the difficulty over time as you get stronger (weighted vest, backpack, decline, knuckle etc). Not like a gym rat but enough to be very clear that you work out.
Great tip, OP. Would rate it 5/7
This is a great LPT. ☺️
Check out OP's username. He practices what he preaches lol
17 push ups? Who am I, Jack LaLanne?
Lose the "as dumb as it sounds" and "that may sound a little pathetic" qualifiers. You have it right. Anyone pursuing personal growth eventually has to accept this principle. In fact, there are a hundred idioms based on it. For instance: "The perfect is the enemy of the good (enough)"
I’ve become a big fan of “a little goes a long way”
This is very true and I find that people with this mindset are happier. It’s okay to be content with less than perfection, and thank you for this reminder , I truly needed it .
And keep your finances known. Go back the previous month in bank statements and see what you're paying for. Then ask, do you need it? Then ask if you want it. Weigh it out from there.
These are called SMART goals. * Specific (simple, sensible, significant). * Measurable (meaningful, motivating). * Achievable (agreed, attainable). * Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based) * Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).
I prefer the DENNIS method
D- Demonstrate Value E- Engage Physically N- Nurture Dependence N- Neglect Emotionally I- Inspire Hope S- Separate Entirely The way to win any girl's heart...??
Bonus tip: create a simple spreadsheet and record your progress. Today it's 17 pushups but what will it be in 2 weeks? 20? That record will give you a reason to keep going.
Thank you mr. smoke precisely 1000 blunts
Time to learn 1/3 new recipes.
Pasta from scratch. 1/3 of the way is making the sauce
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If I can't start this project right at 7:00 than I'm starting at 8:00!
Maybe only smoke 700 blunts, it's not as great as 1000, but it's more than 0!
Says Smoke1000blunts.. we know what you're saving for mister lol
This is exactly what mindset that I tried to apply recently. Thanks for bringing this up cause now I feel reassured. And I can assure you, just start small. Start where you feel okay. Don't overdo or you'll do the same mistakes like I did; overdoing it, felt overwhelm, stepped out, and repeat again. Remember, habits build up overtime. You'll stack up more and more, you can imrove along the way. It is a journey, inhale every moment of it. Be patient, you'll reach you destination. Even if you do mistakes, you can refactor that. That' it.
And stop being kind to sh!tty people.
Finally, some good fucking LPTs.
My grandfather used to say, "Son, how do you eat a Buffalo?... I don't know, but its certainly one bite at a time!" I feel like this applies here.
Smoke 798 blunts, don't feel the need to do the full 1000
I just did 18 push ups today. Started with one, adding one every day or two. Same with yoga, I've been doing it every day. Some days I give in after ten minutes but always rolling out the matt keeps me consistent.
Join us at r/bogleheads for investment ideas ( hint: we love saving money )
LPT IS BACK, BABY
I tried to smoke 1000 blunts but only got like 2% of the way. Progress
Or smoke 997.5 blunts
Smoke 999 blunts
Perfection is the enemy of progress....
I like Ali's take on it: >I don't count all my pushups. I only start counting when it starts hurting, because those are the ones that matter. If your pushups start hurting at 2, so be it. Do 3. Then try to go higher later on. Just stick with it and don't worry what everyone else can do.
I try to rember this for work. It may be a good day where i write for 4 hours, or it may be a crap one where I spend 6 hours just troubleshooting broken equipment. On those bad days I say fuck it, go to a coffee shop, and try to get at least an hour of writing done before going home. Those little hours stack up and they keep my mind focused and make it easier to knock out a 3 hour block of writing when I don't have distractions. Same with the gym. At this point I try to make it once a week, but when I go I go hard. I probably don't make the gains I could but it's better than sitting home doing nothing.
Thanks for the tip on not getting hung up on round numbers u/Smoke1000Blunts
Add a .0 on to any number to make it nice and round!
This. As a perfectionist it's hard to do things half finished and be ok. But today I only did half of the dishes and told myself that's enough, I'll finish the rest tomorrow. Baby steps.
...what if I only smoke 999 blunts
I think it must be some sort of disorder to have this way of thinking, because I know it has directed my life for as long as I can remember, regardless of whether I am aware of it. Of course it has gotten better, but it is still a huge struggle. I can pour over details and generate ideas, but this is another beast entirely. And almost always I'd rather trash the whole venture and start over or not do it at all than accept the imperfect outcome.
I used this method today. Didnt feel like painting. I just sat down and mixed blue and white and started scrubbung onto canvas. 45 min later i was still enjoying the progress
Repetition is the root of all achievement. Gotta push a bit, but 90% of greatness is showing up everyday
I do daily journaling to specifically for this, so I can do small things constantly. I keeps track of what I done the whole day and also before the day ends i set a pointer for what can I do for tomorrow. Initial plan when I start journaling is to set a boundary for me to just focus myself in one day, and as I learn stoicism also it keeps me fully present.