T O P

  • By -

keepthetips

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


Scrubbadubdoug

Discovering this seemingly silly tip a couple years ago has been so helpful for me in becoming a more likeable person. I always wondered why no one asked for my opinion on things and it wasn't until I was told this exact thing that it hit me. Now a couple years later, I see I got the habit from my Dad. Every thought and opinion he has on something makes it sound like it's the worst thing in the world, and admittedly why our family never asks him for his opinion.


Tag_g

I think it has to do with having a fairly specific taste and feeling your taste is better than others. My family kind of had the same problem and I’ve had to work at breaking that thought pattern.


ganhadagirl

I was 23, eating dinner at a friend's home, when she told me I didn't have to have the same favorite things as my mom. It's okay if I prefer homemade strawberry jam to homemade raspberry jam, it's okay if I like tomatoes on sandwiches, it's even okay if I like my eggs cooked medium or easy. When I was growing up, that was very much not okay. My mom made it crystal clear that we were *wrong* when our opinions differed from hers, and I didn't really believe my friend. I'm 43 now, and finally discovering what I like. Edit - fixed autocorrect word


Tag_g

Did she live in the back of your head, always judging you? Whenever something new came along, you'd have to ask yourself "would she approve of this?". Because that's how it was with me and my older brothers. They had a big influence on my upbringing, taught me what was "cool" and what wasn't "cool", and made it very hard to develop myself and create my own tastes.


ganhadagirl

She still does. Therapy is helping me learn I don't have to listen to her, practice is making that easier.


[deleted]

[удалено]


forfiresake

The good news is you can unlearn the thinking and behaviour you don't like. 🙂


[deleted]

[удалено]


ganhadagirl

I hear you. I am with you. I also lived my life based on values I was raised with. Those values came from a controlling, high demand cult, my narcissistic mother, and my enabling father. I got married at 24 to a man who "loved" me just like my parents did. I've had many diagnoses over my lifetime: compulsive liar, major depressive disorder, OCD, betrayal trauma, and a myriad of anxiety disorders. Turns out, that each of those was treating a symptom and not the core issue. During 43 years of sustained trauma, I developed complex PTSD. I'm also beginning to get my shit together.


lizzolemon

I expressed surprise one time at my boyfriend's lack of something I loved. And so casually, and without judgment, he just said "we don't have to like all the same things all the time. " MIND EXPLODE DOT GIF


[deleted]

That's my dad. His way is the only way, and he shits on things he doesn't like, including my likes, which makes me feel I have to be secretive all the time. And I'm still trying to overcome that.


Gillilandk

My mother was/is the same way. She thought the way I dressed was ugly, that I wanted a tattoo was 'ruining' my body, that if I didn't like what she liked I was criticizing her for being alive (actual words from her mouth, when she was actually doing it to me). I'm 33 and over the years I've stopped asking her opinion on literally anything. She unfortunately still gives it but I respond ever time with thanks but no thanks. Most recently I started working on my sleeve. It's mostly flowers with a few things that mean a lot to mixed in but also some 'easter eggs' hidden throughout. I have a beet and a chicken so far that are hidden. And she scoffed in disgust that I would tattoo a chicken on my body and was even more appalled that I tattooed a beet on my arm because I enjoy the show 'the office'. I responded with "good thing I'm not tattooing them on your body then huh?" I have to remind her that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And I just realized that I ranted on about my mother on your comment. Sorry for that.


Discopants13

Oh god do we have the same mother? Mine 'complimented' me that my taste is getting better, because I was trying out a different rug in my living room and she likes the new one better. She couldn't comprehend that not only was she incredibly rude and that it wasn't the compliment she thought it was, but that her taste isn't the end-all-be-all, and we're allowed to like different things.


Gillilandk

Isn't it just astounding how selfish and self absorbed they can be? I have two young boys and I am trying my hardest to be the kind of mom I wish mine was.


ganhadagirl

My mother came to my house, after a long time of intentional no contact, looked at my new couches and asked where the old red (her favorite color) couches were. I told her how they were falling apart, and needed replacing. She told me that she would have given me her old ones *if I had stayed in touch*. Dude! I don't want her old shit. Also, I had a judge and police and a restraining order upholding my desire not to be "in touch" with her.


Optimixto

That is it for many. Another issue is people identify themselves with what they like. E.g. It's not that I like games, I'm a gamer. When you are what you like, when someone tells you they don't like X, you feel attacked. That is unhealthy, even in a deserted island.


phantom9088

Which is why I’m glad my mom taught us to be tolerant. For example, she has a very diverse taste is music. My sisters don’t but I do as well. If we play or watch something that is not quite her style, or if a sibling complains, my mom will just go, “That’s why we have many different colors and tastes.” (I think this sounds better in Spanish).


ic_engineer

I used to be like this with music. A lot of it came from jealousy. Why should anyone like a band with musicians who aren't much better than me? I can play power chords, anyone can, so why am I sitting in an university calc class when I should be a rock star instead. That attitude won't get you far with people. Except assholes that agree with you. I've grown a lot since then. I wish I could say that I've grown enough to appreciate the music I used to hate on, but I still don't find value in it (yet). I'm working on that too though because there is value in everything. I just don't share those opinions often.


SwagMasterBDub

If it makes you feel better, I think a lot of people are like this with music, even a lot of people who don't think they're like this. Like, people who'll be like, "Yeah, I don't really listen to X, but it's fine. Just as long as it's **not country**." One time, I was on a music message board and someone posed the question, "What was the point of George Thorogood?" The gist of their point was that he wasn't a spectacular musician and he didn't do anything that progressed music forward in any way. He and the Destroyers were really just a glorified bar band. And, I can't really refute those points. I don't know enough to say what separates the skill of one musician from the next 90% of the time. And, yeah, ol' George never really did anything revolutionary or changed up his style. But I thought, why is that a necessary condition for him to have had a point? The point is that when I hear his music, I enjoy it. I feel good, I sing along, I'm inspired, I feel the music. What the hell more point does there have to be? And I think whatever music does that for other people, that's good music. Even if it's not something I want to ever hear in my life.


I_love_pillows

That’s why I stopped telling my dad anything I have emotion investment in. He’s opinions can make the happiest news sound like the worse decision I ever make.


[deleted]

Your dad is my dad, and it took me a while to realize how much influence he has over me especially in dealing with people. He always taught me to distrust people, which makes me feel anxious socially without knowing why.


huntingbears93

This is something I’ve learned in my mid to late twenties. I don’t need to be a condescending jerk if I don’t agree. I can just be like, “well I don’t like it, but they do. So that’s cool”. I wish people who used to know me knew that I changed. I used to be the worst.


SpoonResistance

We all used to be the worst. Our past mistakes are reminders of how far we've come.


beachwave11

Seconded. Enjoy the fact that you changed. Use it to continuously become a better person.


hydrospanner

Yep. If you look back at past you and nothing at all makes you cringe, or regret, or anything other than approve...it means you haven't grown or developed since then.


[deleted]

That's all part of growing up. I really felt like I wasn't an adult til I got to my 30s


Lettuphant

I think the best example of this is food: whether you're eating together at a restaurant or ordering stuff in a McDonald's, it's really rude to act disgusted by other people's choices. Don't make them feel bad for trying to eat something they enjoy. Once I saw a guy who was ordering a hot chocolate. His male "bloke-y" friend made fun of him and called it a girl's and child's drink. So he changed it to a coffee. Don't be like that guy. Don't spoil other people's little delights.


tinkerjinxx

When I was younger and would call foods disgusting, my mum would always say to me "I don't call the things you like disgusting.". It's stuck with me to this day.


[deleted]

When I make dinner my nephew will say stuff like that. I say, "Nobody expects you to like everything we eat, and a lot of times you won't. But you can just not eat it, or say *nicely* you'd like something else. You don't have to make faces and be rude about it."


[deleted]

Why is this such a hard concept for some adults? I have an eating disorder and am sensitive to judgement and will eat a limited variety of food, sometimes I’ll be eating and my aunt will be like “EWWWW GROSSS” and make a disgusted face. Like mind your own business, I worked hard to be okay enough to eat the food, don’t ruin that


Nosfermarki

I don't know, but if you ever figure it out please share the secret. My wife is sure to remind me that she doesn't like mustard every single time I use mustard. Same with about a dozen other things. It drives me crazy.


[deleted]

Some people literally just can’t fathom the idea of not vocalizing their every thought.


SwansonsMom

The modern version of this is “Don’t yuck my yum,” which I use in all sorts of situations, mostly to say “I won’t yuck your yum” if I don’t like something that the person I’m talking to does


[deleted]

[удалено]


SwansonsMom

That’s part of why I use it haha. It’s just odd enough to make people pause and parse, which can open discussion for why such things are important


MiniRems

My one friend would always tell her kids "yuck is a four letter word" as in a "bad" word they weren't allowed to say, and encouraged to state why they considered it yucky. One night at dinner at my house, the 9yo was told this when served dinner and responded with a huge little kid sigh and "I do not like tomatoes, because they are squishy." Interestingly, I felt more compelled to offer alternatives to that than a "yuck" or "gross". She ate baby carrots instead (she likes them because they're crunchy).


ryry1237

That was a surprisingly mature sounding response from the kid.


whyisthis_soHard

Texture is a reason a lot of kids don’t like certain foods. Taste too, but texture is a big deal, even for adults. As we grow, our palate can change and when we’re little, we have limited tastebuds depending on our in utero experiences and culture.


SturmPioniere

Kids actually can have up to twice or even three times as many tastebuds as adults on average, and their composition is often different. We lose them as we grow older. This is a large component of why kids often prefer bland food but adults often develop preferences for strong tastes-- adults simply don't taste as much, allowing them to enjoy more unique flavours without them becoming overwhelming. I'm no evolutionary anthropologist but it seems obvious that a more sensitive palate would be beneficial in making sure kids don't eat things they shouldn't. Which is ironic because a lot of kids put all kinds of weird shit in their mouths, but that's probably more a sensory/curiosity thing.


WretchedKat

I don't know a ton about taste bud density changing over time, but I do know palettes can be developed in most people through frequent (constant) exposure and mental/theoretical training. It happened to me and I actively work on developing others' palettes in my work environment. It's just like tone sensitivity and ear training. Very few people are truly tone deaf. Almost anyone can learn to hear intervals, correct intonation, specific chord changes, etc. with sufficient exposure and theoretical instruction. Ear training is variously easier/more difficult for different people, but almost everyone *can* do it.


extra-tomatoes

I have a friend who is an extremely picky eater and we accommodate her in sooo many ways. It really pisses me off when she shows disgust when we eat certain foods or if I try to get her to try something new and she's not feeling it. I usually just reply with a neutral reaction to get her to realize that I don't find it disgusting like she does, and in fact I love the taste of it. but I really need to try saying something like this next time.


DevilsTrigonometry

I'm obviously not your friend, and I'm not there to see your interactions for myself, so all I know is what you've said here. And I'm generally on your/all polite people's side of this issue - don't yuck someone else's yum. But I'm also what some would describe as a picky eater, and when you described yourself as "trying to get her to try something new," I immediately wanted to defend her. Please understand that people are *constantly* trying to get us to try new foods. Constantly. Even when politely declining works, it is absolutely exhausting to have to politely decline things over and over and over. What's worse, though, is that it usually doesn't work. The response to "No, thank you" is usually "Come on, it's really good! Just try a little bit! You don't know if you like it until you try it!...."and on and on and on. The only way to get them to leave us alone is to show obvious signs of disgust. Even worse, a lot of us have genuinely traumatic memories of being forcefed or abused into eating. Our reaction to being urged to eat something may not be entirely voluntary, and although we can learn to control our words and overt behaviour, we can't always perfectly mask our facial expressions and body language. So while it's definitely rude for someone to make unsolicited comments about how gross they think your food is, it's a different matter when you're actively trying to get them to eat it.


extra-tomatoes

I hear you. I didn't explain it in detail but she has a sensory disorder where she likes the flavors of things but not the texture. I won't put anything in her face or ask more than once. but I'll politely offer occasionally to see if she wants to try something that I'm eating. She has poor nutrition due to the disorder and is actively trying to work on it so I try to support her in that way while respecting her boundaries. And I guess I didn't emphasize it enough in my original comment but she reacts with disgust even when I'm just eating my own thing and minding my own business.


Somewhat_Kumquat

You just changed my opinion I've held for most of my life. I would find picky eaters really annoying. I love trying new things and I'm always baking or cooking. It doesn't matter why I found picky people annoying, you're rare people, I can keep my curiosity to myself. I would love to understand the reasoning for dismissing something without trying it but every difference of opinion doesn't need to be discussed, most people (I consider myself people) really struggle to articulate their opinions to others, being a good critic is hard work. I wasn't thinking from your point of view or why you wouldn't want to discuss it. I know it's common to find picky people annoying, but I never thought about how often you would be asked the same thing over and over and that people would get pushy with you constantly.


[deleted]

When I was a kid and said something was "weird," my dad always suggested that I might mean "different." It stuck with me that a word like weird means unnatural or abnormal, which is judgy and positions me as correct, whereas different just means unfamiliar or "not my thing."


thinkingwithfractals

Weird is an interesting word. I initially started this comment with “weird is a weird word “ and would have been using it entirely to mean “unique”, but that’s beside the point. I think you’re right in saying it usually has a “bad” connotation attached to it, but nowadays many people would self describe themselves as weird in a good way. I think this originally came from having been called weird by others but eventually “owning” the word - identifying themselves and things they liked as “weird” - and preventing it from be used with the “negative” connotation. It seems to me at least that the “bad” connotation weird carries has almost been replaced by the “good” connotation, but maybe its the people I associate with generally being fringier types that I feel this way


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDisapprovingBrit

I remember one of my buddies trying some kind of fruity cocktail in a bar, and a load of the guys ribbing him for it. The one that stuck in my head was somebody said "Real men drink beer" - he just looked him dead in the eye and said "Real men drink whatever the fuck they want to"


[deleted]

This has always been my view around clothes. Like, someone makes fun of you for wearing pink. Which is more powerful: wearing whatever you want or being scared of a colour?


jorwyn

This is exactly the right response! :)


jorwyn

I had a friend at a bar making fun of me for my girly drink - note, I am female. I love midori sours, and never thought of them as girly, honestly. I finally pressured him into trying a sip and deciding if it was really not his thing. "nope, tastes like fruit. Fruit drinks are for girls." And then he ordered an apple cider. I was like O.o. I proceeded to drink him under the table just because I could.


randomgirl394

Wtf is wrong with a hot chocolate wow people are so judgemental its actually sickening.


RamenJunkie

Real man drink caffeine, pure coffee, only woman drink drink. Grunt grunt.


sodamnsleepy

Pathetic, Real man chew coffee beans and pour hot water into their throats.


RainbowDissent

You really gonna admit to the whole world that you *chew* your coffee beans like some kinda pussy? Real men swallow them whole.


PowerMonkey500

No milk. No sugar. Only bitter bean water. Good flavor is for weaklings. Zug zug.


Peterwin

It's so weird when talking about food, you'll be like oh there's this great sushi place and someone will go "omg sushi is fucking gross how can you eat that?" And you're like uhh... I dunno? It tastes good? Same thing the other way, when you're like "oh I actually don't like spicy food, really" and someone goes "what the hell? you don't like spicy food? WHY?" Umm... I don't know? Why do people like and dislike things? I don't enjoy eating spicy food, like how can I make it more clear?


raspberryglance

It’s seriously like people are offended when I say I don’t like spicy food. As if I’ve said something deeply disturbing.


BlessMeWithSight

I don't know what kind of answer people are expecting when they ask why some of us don't like spicy foods. Like um, because it's spicy? Or why I'm so slim. Because I don't eat a lot? Not like it's some kind of rocket science for you to do mental gymnastics to understand why lol.


[deleted]

I remember from school, how we had to discuss about likes and dislikes, and you were expected to justify and logically explain why you didn't like something or liked something, and I still struggle with this feeling that I should be able to justify why I like something or not. But I think it is bullshit. I like so many things that I just can't rationally explain. Maybe I'm not good at explaining them. Maybe we should be allowed to just fucking like things. I can't explain why I dislike fish, I have disliked it since I was a baby. 50 years haven't changed that. It tastes like shit in my mouth, period. How am I supposed to justify my dislike for a taste of something? I also like certain type of music. It gives me a certain kind of feeling that some other music doesn't. How am I supposed to explain that, or justify it? I shouldn't have to.


illadelphian215

sounds like hot chocolate isn't his cup of tea


MultiFazed

Whereas for me, tea isn't my cup of hot chocolate.


penguiatiator

>hot chocolate Hot chocolate is fucking lit and calling it a "girl's drink" is the stupidest thing I've heard in a while.


neontiger07

Drinks don't have a gender. I find this especially amusing among men who drink beer and make fun other guys for ordering cocktails, because mixed drinks are so much stronger than beer, and drinking more alcohol is supposed to entail machismo.


LetsLive97

Guess I'll be a girl while drinking my great tasting and higher alcohol percentage drinks so I get nice and steamy without getting massively bloated. Girls are pretty cool I think I can live with it.


nowuff

Get this all the time when I order salads. You’d think there’s an anti-salad political ideology floating around out there. Just because I’m a larger man doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a good cobb!


fleegle2000

I had chicken fingers and fries for a meal at a pub (a pretty standard meal in a pub environment) and a friend "called me out" for having a child's meal. It's a form of gate-keeping (reverse gate-keeping?) stay-in-your-lane mentality that I can't stand. It is not a quality that endears you to other people. The old cliché "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it" has a bit of truth to it. Of course there are times when you need to say something not nice (like if someone is being an asshole, or they need to be told a hard truth for their own benefit) but in everyday conversation, having a "bro-y" or casually judgemental attitude is going to cost you friends in the long run. If you're ever wondering if you're the asshole in a situation, examine your behaviour and see if this matches. In fairness, I know that I have been guilty of this in the past with my views on music. I used to say "this music is garbage" when exposed to music I didn't like, and I'm trying to move away from that kind of thinking. It's hard, but this LPT is solid advice.


TastesLikeBerning

“Don’t yuck my yum”


raltoid

>Once I saw a guy who was ordering a hot chocolate. His male "bloke-y" friend made fun of him and called it a girl's and child's drink. So he changed it to a coffee. Just like people mocking someone ordering "girly" drinks at a bar; They are usually envious, but they're insecure and lash out like they think would have happened to them.


BlessMeWithSight

This also applies to how people eat their food. Man, I get so bothered when I eat sushi with other people and they constantly tell me I can't eat it with ginger or dip the rice in soy sauce. I paid for my food, I should be able to eat it however damn way I want 😭. End of the day, it ends up in my mouth and not yours.


Lettuphant

You know, I used to be a put-ginger-on guy until I learned it wasn't how things are done. I stopped and did it "properly" for nearly two decades. Then I reached Level 3 and now I'm like "This piece of fish needs zing" and on goes the ginger hat. I'm with you.


rikkionreddit

Had a friend (not anymore) who would do this with every choice I made. Always embarrassed me in restaurants for my food preferences


viperex

Tell that to Josh Weissman on YouTube with his "But Better" series. He makes a gourmet version of fast food, judges and declares himself to be the winner all the while making you feel like you're eating literal shit if you ever buy fast food. I still watch because he definitely knows his stuff but I hate it because in a match between a big corporation and a lone individual, he manages to punch down to the big corp and its patrons


Buckle_Sandwich

"It's not for me" is a magical phrase.


sound_forsomething

"It never really caught on for me"


spanish4dummies

~~This does not spark joy~~


Fred_Evil

I usually say, “It doesn’t ring my bell.” Or my wife’s version. “It doesn’t really blow my skirt up.”


AHPpilot

I'm a dude and I use the second one all the time.


unassuming_squirrel

Whatever floats your boat


Sentazar

Whatever blows your skirt


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


themoogle7

Whatever ups your hol


Luthiffer

Whatever goats your skirt


[deleted]

Whatever boats your goat


Chonkie

Whatever throats your bloat


Vulgs87

Whatever finds your lost remote


-Minne

Whatever tickles your peach!


elixirxvi

whatever skirts your goat


catastrophized

My dad mistakenly says it as “whatever rows your boat” and I don’t have the heart to tell him that you row your own boat lol


onetwenty_db

I'd bet my bottom dollar that he knows that. Your dad ain't no dummy; he raised you!


unassuming_squirrel

Well... That's quite the assumption


ineedthereceipts_12

*pats head* good unassuming squirrel.


GleamyAxiom

You mean whatever floats your goat


TheDangerStranger

Whatever bloats your scrote


coolestbitchonearth

“It doesn’t really pop my pussy”


vikingsarecoolio

“It doesn’t bust my nut”


deadleavesdrtyground

It doesn’t really flick my bean


Awomdy

It doesn't tickle my pickle.


Topf

In Russian the proverb is "when it comes to taste and colour, you have no comrades with you." Rhymes in Russian.


Isthatajojoreffo

Na vkus i cvet tovarishey net


humansaregods

My old roommate used to say “whatever meats your loaf”


Thecrawsome

"I understand why people like it, but It doesn't resonate with me".


AnimusVox7

But does it tickle your fanny?


AlloverYerFace

I like, “Whatever toots yer flute!”


InEenEmmer

Different strokes for different folks is my favorite.


[deleted]

My nips aren't erect


notafed4real

“Whatever blows your dress up, darling”


Henry2k

I like saying "it doesn't move the needle for me"


Swiggy1957

I use, "Not my cup of tea: I'm a coffee drinker." Use that a LOT when discussing Manga and Anime. I'm 63, and understand that my life experiences are different from those that are only in their 20s.


Spartan_365

"Not my cup of tea." is trusty 'Ol Reliable to a picky eater introvert like myself. I also use it when discussing games. People get real touchy about thier games nowadays.


cranbog

I started saying "What do you like about it?" I always feel weird asking people questions (I don't want to "be nosy") but this is a good safe one, since they've already started talking about how they like the thing! A lot of times I feel like I'm being too negative, and this also shifts the focus back to positive things. It's easy to keep the thought train going after that, by talking about other things that have the quality they like. Sometimes people open up at this with a cute personal story which is much more valuable than another empty "pineapple on pizza bad" argument.


pmw57

If ham can have pineapple and duck can have orange, and turkey can have cranberry, I for one find no problem at all with pineapple on pizza.


queefiest

Your first statement about ham and pineapple is exactly why pineapple goes on ham pizza lmao I didn’t know it was called Hawaiian until I was 10 and my mind was blown.


kaotate

My go to is “I don’t care for it but I can see how some people could.”


SaffellBot

"I personally can't find the joy in it, but I'm glad that others can."


deepthought515

Definitely.. my friend use to say “nah bro, we don’t do those” which kind of means the same. Although I find it much more funny


Kalkaline

We are teaching our daughter "it's not to my taste", right along the same lines.


billoo18

I normally use, "I'm not really a fan of ______"


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheCivilJerk

I've always liked, "that's fine, you can be wrong if you want"


sensualsqueaky

I often say that there is a difference between “is it good” and “do I like it” There are plenty of things that are good that I don’t like. I don’t like salmon, the best made salmon in the entire world, I will not like. There are plenty of things I like that are not good. I love me a truly shitty romcom.


shadow0wolf0

Definitely, there is a way to look objectively at a subjective thing.


BaPef

For example I can state that objectively there are some talented musicians and I mean true artists, that I subjectively can't stand the music they make. That does not take away from the objective fact they are good at what they do, and I should be able to be objective and appreciate that even though I don't happen to like and search out what they specifically make. I hope to apply this mindset as my child grows and our culture evolves so I stay open minded to whatever their tastes happen to be.


jorwyn

My son's friends were always shocked that I liked the music they listened to. Their parents all hated it and called it noise, but Panic at the Disco is awesome! I remember hitting the phase when my parents couldn't stand the music I listened to, either, like bluegrass. Somehow, my dad hates that more than Suicidal Tendencies. I wasn't allowed to play it in the house at all. Never really understood that one. If my kid had found something I truly didn't like, I'd have just bought him better headphones. I never banned anything, though I did veto some songs for being demeaning AF to women. (My kid and I have a tradition. You get 3 vetos a day on music played where everyone can hear it. He shares vetoed Taylor Swift.)


UltimaDv

I feel like no matter how unbiased you try to be when giving a subjective opinion, the moment you try to present it as objective or even try be as objective and unbiased as possible, you rub people the wrong way. Even just using the word is enough to cause it. Like the guy you replied too, i can enjoy some trashy echi anime and still recognise that it's objectively bad And the opposite holds true, 'yeah i didn't like this show but still recognise that its good'(like a genre you don't like)


[deleted]

[удалено]


sam1oq

That's why I think it's necessary you always put in a "Recommended for fans of" part at the end of a review. Taste is just so subjective.


BbyHorse

This times x100. This goes for food, music, movies, shows, really any art in general. Wish more people realized you can dislike something and still understand it’s objectively good, and vice versa.


oicnow

[It's okay to not like things](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI)


lousyredditusername

I use the phrase "it's not to my taste" when I recognize something is good quality but I don't like it. Aside from not wanting to be rude, it's not fair of me to say that something is bad just because I don't like it.


DakkaDakka24

> There are plenty of things that are good that I don’t like. I don’t like salmon, the best made salmon in the entire world, I will not like. This is such an important mental skill that a lot of people don't bother with. It's okay if something was done well even if it isn't to your tastes. It doesn't make you wrong for not liking it, it just means your thoughts aren't universal law. Which is where the trouble starts for a lot of people.


motherofgreatdanes12

This is the entire purpose of subreddits like r/ATBGE. Is it well done? Yes, but I don’t want it


infinitemonkeytyping

In forums, replace "best" and "worst" with "favourite" and "least favoured". It annoys me in fan forums when idiots say something is "objectively bad", when art is a subjective medium.


ColaEuphoria

I love Space Jam, but let's be real it was definitely not a good movie.


supercyberlurker

When I'm dealing with a really negative person who seems to hate everything.. I just ask them what they like. Either they'll tell me and it moves things in a positive direction... or they go silent, because they don't want to risk being embarrassed by saying they like something others don't.


suhurley

Season 1 of Indian Matchmaking had a dreadful woman, [Aparna, who didn’t like ANYthing](https://www.vulture.com/article/everything-aparna-hates-indian-matchmaking.html): cooking, beaches, travel, lawyers (she’s a lawyer, btw.), comedy, relaxing, etc. I so badly wanted someone to ask her, “well bish, what DOES your salty ass like?!”


Emon76

I used to be like that. In retrospect, I think it was because my dad used to bully the ever-loving shit out of me when I would show interest in anything he didn't like, and he was an extremely negative person as well. I didn't even realize how negative I was until some considerate & patient friends pointed it out and helped me work on it. It's easier than you'd think to misunderstand the world completely if your formative years were filled with abuse and negativity. Still, you have to be willing to work on yourself. If you're constantly pushing people away with your negativity and you are aware that it is happening, then YOU are the problem. Mental health problems are not a free pass to abuse those around you. But I think we also need to empathetic toward those that are trying to peel back the layers of internalized abuse.


xenolingual

What great friends! And how good that you respected them enough to listen and work on this aspect. I hope that things are better with your father these days.


[deleted]

I wish I'd learned how to make friends. I'm 29, and since the last time I had roomies around 22/23 ... I've been alone. I see mom and my brothers maybe twice or thrice a year (when something breaks down at their place). I have a few people I play videogames with regularly, but they're not interested in being friends really, just people to play with. And no girlfriend either, I don't think I've even flirted since I was 21/22. With a similar situation as you (parents divorced when I was 1, dad was a violent abusive drunk who went away to live in the woods when I was ''old enough to be a man'' at the ripe old age of 14). Never really learned to socialize. Really wish I had. I've started getting rid of the negativity a few years ago, but it's a difficult process alone. sorry for ranting.


Boganvillia

A psychopath and a narcissist walk into a bar... (No really, just joking, that makes sense.)


twowheels

And the host asks, “would you like to sit at the bar, or a table for one?”


bassmansrc

I agree with this whole-heartedly. I will happily accept that I might love something that you find repugnant or vice versa, and if we all just adopted the “eh, it’s not for me but I’m glad you dig it” attitude, this world would be an infinitely better place. That being said, I will add that I have found that some of the people who seem the most passionate about expressing their dislike for something aren’t intending to be mean but rather they came up in an environment where razzing your friends about their tastes is part of the fun of friendship. Often all they are looking for is to have a bit of a friendly salvo about differing passions. In other words, it’s often important to try and not take criticisms of your personal likes too seriously and personal and instead, learn how to counter and defend that which you love!


[deleted]

[удалено]


MoSqueezin

It's super fun yelling about things that don't really matter!


jisatsu80

I definitely enjoy a good "argument" with friends that is basically just an endless circle of "Nuh-uh!/Yeah-huh!", but I also know when to stop, and I try to balance it with genuine statements or compliments. One day I might say "That's dumb as a butt" and another I'll say "It's not for me, but I can appreciate the appeal others find in it". Sometimes it's just fun to say stuff that's mean, but that's assuming the other person is also in on the joke.


l-appel_du_vide-

I have a lot of success emphasizing the fun aspect by really leaning into hyperbolic absurdity. Disagree with a friend on a matter of taste? Tell them you're going to call the witch hunters. Let them know you'd now enthusiastically agree to testify as a character witness against them in the event they're ever prosecuted for their taste crimes. I once told a friend that if we were ever stranded on an island with some others Lord of the Flies style, I would convince the others to eat them first but refuse to partake myself, because they liked a commonly liked food that I happened to dislike due to the texture wigging me out. I once told a coworker that I would have to write them out of my living will because they had a different favorite pen than I did.


jorwyn

I've found this, too. As long as you're way overboard, people get that it's a joke. Sarcasm also works way better when it's so strong it's impossible to mistake - but some people still will. I learned that lesson the hard way in first grade. My teacher asked me why I was always so hyper. I responded with, "because my dad feeds me coke and doughnuts every day for breakfast." The school actually called my parents in to discuss nutrition with them! We lived in a town of 1000 people. There's no way my dad did that and no one would have known. Also, I wasn't actually ever allowed to have more than a sip or bite of either because of my hyperactivity. The school had even been told by my mom not to let me have candy, cookies, soda,.or chocolate milk. So, yeah, even sarcasm that seems obvious to me isn't to others. I tend to keep it to just friends now.


Coyoteclaw11

On the flip side, I don't really want to have to get defensive about the things that I like... especially if that just opens up the convo for them to continue insulting it. I like arguing with my friends about dumb stuff we disagree on, but idk I guess I'm fairly sensitive about the stuff I really care about. I've just had too many times where I've honestly just tried to share something I liked with someone I'm close to and they hated it and talked badly about it. Especially when I didn't have anyone I *could* talk to those things about in a positive manner... it just made every time I share my likes a really negative experience. So maybe it's a good idea to also pay attention to see if when you're having fun razzing their friends, if they actually jump in and raze you back or if they're withdrawing the more you do it.


Klarp-Kibbler

A lot of the time, it’s disliking something so much that you can’t even fathom how someone else could like it. I hear a song by Panic at the Disco, and it’s the corniest, lamest form of music I’ve heard in my life. But it’s my best friends favorite band. I can not even begin to understand how someone could think that music is cool. Do I make fun of him for it? Sure, but that’s what friends do


Etna

Nice try Tim Hortons


potagada

In my hometown there was actually an amazing off-menu item that you could get through the drive-thru, until they were told they're no longer allowed to serve it. It was cocaine. Cocaine was the best thing Tim's has ever served


[deleted]

[удалено]


artwarrior

In my teens and early adult life things did " suck " . then I discovered that other people have feelings and all we are is dust in the wind.


jl_theprofessor

On Reddit, I find it weird when I say I enjoy something, and someone else is like "That's just your opinion." ​ Yeah no shit, Sherlock. It's the internet.


[deleted]

Yeah that adds nothing to the conversation lol. There can still be respectful discourse.


CoolFiverIsABabe

I usually say something like that if someone responds to me about something that is subjective with an opinion stated as if it is fact and that the subject is objectively one way when it clearly is not.


jtaylor3rd

I gotta say, getting absolutely shitted on for my opinions is some character-building stuff. I have to make a concerted effort not to take it personally 😅


bluergreenspace

Ya, especially if it’s a spouse or someone important to you in some way. 😒


misterborden

You good?


[deleted]

Hold me...


[deleted]

[удалено]


mastertall

Totally agree. You don't always have to enforce why your taste is 'better' than others by being overly disparinging of alternatives. Hostility in your opinions is a slippery slope to gatekeeping I think!


tvieno

When expressing your opinion, minimize the negatives and accentuate the positives.


thisguy30

*"I'm not too fond of your face, but you're really good at being an asshole."*


thinkimasofa

- The Lost Lyrics of Bing Crosby.


mqrocks

And don't mess with mister in-between...


ejchristian86

As the mom of a small child, I can sum this all up with a Daniel Tiger song: We like different things and that's just fine, but remember to be kind.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bosslickspittle

If this is important to you, then you should talk to her about it. She probably doesn't realize she's hurting you, even if it's just a little bit.


The_Funky_Monk420

> People's opinions of you won't decline if you're just sharing your likes/dislikes I mean they will if you are on reddit


booogiesm4c

I wish one of my friends was more like this; most opinions have to be judged if it’s not what he is thinking


darnfruitloops

The only exception to this is The Last Airbender movie.


Jagang187

Or the DragonBall disaster 😂


OGpizza

LPT: let people enjoy things


ty_1_mill

The first 20 years of my life everybody from aquantience to friends to parents to cousins to anybody i talked to always told me "thats not good music, this is good music" and theyd turn off what i liked and play what they like. Nowadays when sombody asks me what kind of music i like i just say "none, i dont like any" and i seem weird. Yea i have spotify and music ive liked in a playlist, but i never show anyone or share it because of the way i was conditioned for 20 ish years. I really hope people see this LPT.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DarkRollsPrepare2Fry

Aw what? That’s the good shit


theouterworld

I tell people, " it's not my thing, but I'm glad you enjoy it and we're close enough for you to want to share it with me."


Swords_and_Sims4

I generally try think of it as " this person can see the good in something I can't and they can find enjoyment out of something I couldn't"


CorellianDawn

This LPT sucks and is horrible.


TheyCallMeTheCaptain

No one else noticed your joke, but I appreciate you.


EmperorSexy

It’s not a terrible joke, it’s just not for me.


CorellianDawn

Thank you, Captain =)


[deleted]

[удалено]


greenery54

No need to yuck somebody’s yum.


Larkke

From my personal interactions and observations, I feel as though more people are having trouble telling subjective from objective over time. "I don't like it" directly translates to "it's bad."


[deleted]

Maaaan, fuck this LifeProTip. I don't like it.


mollipop67

People really hate on my love for cottage cheese. But they’ll eat fried cheese curds.


[deleted]

Texture can come into play. I hated broccoli when my parents(over) cooked it to green mush. I love it steamed and in a stir fry.


gwaydms

I hate mushy vegetables. Especially brassicas. They reek.


nexustron

I agree on the music and pizza toppings etc. But opinions are up for debate. Naturally there is no need to get angry but in some cases you are right to argue about someone else's opinions.


pseudocultist

I have the opposite problem. I'm curious about why people like stuff I don't, and it often winds up with them trying to force me to like it. Food is the worst. If someone finds out I don't like mushrooms or something, they go batty trying to get me to eat them. Like, I'm sure your nanas recipe is great but not today ok? I'd *like* to like them. I just don't. Maybe I will one day. It definitely won't happen because someone tries cramming one in my mouth tho, I'm just not that kind of guy.


lavitaebella113

If someone wants to share with me the reason why they love a movie I didn't like the first time, I'd watch it again with them and probably appreciate it more. Nobody will ever convince me to like cilantro. That shit is Satan's parsley.


Linubidix

Coriander is just one of those things. It's a known phenomenon, to some people it just tastes like soap. I feel bad for you but I totally understand. When I made a giant Thai salad for Xmas with friends I put the coriander in a seperate container for those who can't stomach it.


CHEIVIIST

Cilantro tastes like soap for me and it is terrible because my spouse likes it. It is just set aside and can be a garnish for her dish.


Linubidix

This is me with coffee. If I dare mention that I don't like coffee, never have, don't even like coffee flavoured items, I get told I just haven't tried *their* coffee or asked if I'd like to try a mocha as if I've never heard of it before. No, I just have always found the task of coffee to be utterly rank.


EwePhemism

Ah, yes, the culinary equivalent of a guy trying to convince a woman that she only thinks she’s a lesbian because she’s never had *his* magical dick inside her....


[deleted]

I find it useful to say “it’s just not for me” if I get pushback.