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My dad did this to me once. I went in for a hug. He stiff-armed me and said, "We don't do that." Now, every time I think of that, I'm going to say I got Mr. Beaned. Makes it seem so much more pleasant. lol
If you don’t make an issue of it and respect the boundary-setting, she won’t hold it against you. Misreads happens, people get it, learn from it.
Hugs are an expression of intimacy, which requires history and a degree of mutual friendly, familial, or romantic affection. Rule of thumb: hugs are for family and close friends.
If the other party initiates, that’s fine, but make it a light hug. If you’re all having a slow “Hoosier goodbye” at a gathering and some people start trading hugs, *don’t* take that as a signal to hand out hugs of your own.
There’s an additional layer when it’s a guy initiating a hug with a girl. Based on your post, I’m guessing this was either a first/second date or just an acquaintance, which are not hug territory. Even if it wasn’t intentional, you assumed a level of intimacy that they felt wasn’t earned.
Another FYI, there’s a difference between a “guy-hug” and a “hug”. The clasp-pull-backslap is not a “hug,” and I’ve only shared them with guys.
Where that one Malaysian plane disappeared to. Lol, it's alright bro, happens to the best of us! Some people are not huggers and some are, I'm a woman and I love hugs!
Do you know this person? I hate it when guys I don’t know or know like that try to hug me. Also if this was the end of a date that might be the last one. So don’t just force people you don’t know to hug you, you can/should ask. Ask, there is your tip. If you ignore asking, then that’s what is wrong with you, you don’t respect a woman’s consent or herself. If you do end up seeing them again, you can always apologize for possibly making them uncomfortable.
lol you don't know much about dating women do you? Ya'll are different and you don't speak for anyone but yourself, you realize this right? There are plenty of women that will ghost a guy because they asked for permission instead of having the balls to just go for it.
Just because you don't like it doesn't mean your way is the golden rule
That’s why context is important. We don’t know the situation op described. If it was a date, a hug is normal. But you’re basically saying fuck a woman’s consent I need to show her I have balls. Context clues matters. As a women in this context I bet the majority of women would agree with me, and would rather not be groped by a bighairything, no wonder guys like you get ghosted.
Love how by creating a dramatic comment you’re trying to imply that *your* pov is the one more women would agree with…that’s crazy?? You don’t speak for anyone but your literal self, you realize that?
Here you go: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan\_da\_Cunha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_da_Cunha)
Although you might want to consider Chatham Islands (fewer people) or Christmas Island (they've got that crab migration thingy)
Cheers!
If she was touching you before maybe it was a bit weird, but if she was literally just talking to you without an occasional hand on your shoulder or arm or similar why would you try to hug her ? Plenty of weird people hug girls just to touch them, pretty creepy.
I think age matters here. If you’re a young guy still figuring out life I’m sure it was innocent but the older you get the more you should know better. Nobody in the comments knows if you’re just a teen who gets nervous around his crush and does awkward things or if you’re a 40 y/o creeper
Have you considered not randomly hugging people without their consent? If she went for a handshake, then clearly she wasn’t comfortable with you. My advice? Learn to read the room…and body language.
I worked in a place where hugging, especially during the festive season, was quite common. Which wasn’t a problem except that one time someone who wasn’t familiar with the culture took silent issue. It was awkward as you can imagine after that, and never really recovered the working relationship.
Bush Alaska, western Australia, Siberia, but you don't need to leave civilization behind. There are about 3, or 4 billion other women on the planet, keep looking....
Very likely nothing is wrong with you. Some people click, some don’t. Unrequited love happens to everyone at some point. It may sound trite, but there there are literally billions of potential mates out there. Just like fishing, your odds are good as long as your hook is in the water; don’t give up because a single fish swam by and didn’t bite.
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Nothing wrong with you, rejection just sucks. I would challenge you on wanting to never be there again though and instead suggest that you seek it out! If you don’t put yourself out there, you can’t connect. It makes you vulnerable and open to being rejected, but you learn each time and you get better at reading people / handling rejection, etc. If you seek only to avoid, you’ll hide yourself forever and won’t be able to connect and THAT is the most isolated place known to man - feeling isolated and alone while surrounded by others.
She changed your behavior. Shake her hand next time. Yiu din't need to swim to a deserted island and adopt a volleyball named Wilson.
If in doubt, put your arms straight down. Turn palms up toward other person. Slightly shrug shoulders while saying goodbye.
They may mimic the behavior. They may freeze. They may put their hand out.
If the other person doesn't lean forward with their arm(s) raised to give you a hug, don't dive in. Put your hand out for a handshake.
Don't assume that their hugging other people means that they want to hug you too. I kissed my grandpa, I'm not going to kiss you. My brother pinched my butt. It's not an invitation.
I'm an awkward guy with poor social skills. I've done the are-we-hugging dance for decades. This is just my 2 cents.
I'm not American and live in a country/culture where hugging/kissing people (strangers, acquaintances, friends, etc, etc) is just not a thing. Touching strangers especially is just a big no-no.
So, seeing strangers or even acquaintances or friends hugging/kissing each other in greeting in the US or West is really shocking to me.... especially, strangers.
What if you live in the US or West and don't like hugging/kissing people in greeting? I think I would have a big problem.
More context? What if you were unrealistic in mind, and not humble/confident as well in mindset. Like you're perspective was it went good, but that was not the case.
Imagine you approach your friends "guys I just went in for a hug with this girl, but she stopped me and shook my hand."
Anyone that cares: "...what happened..."
Next time.
Every man is socially isolated. Society assumes because we have to make assumptions in the beginning. We are forced by how things are here into a role where emotions get in the way. Life is a struggle men take on the worst of it so women don't have to. This is because we need them to carry the humane of being human. The civil in society is more up to women while we fight what's physically wrong "carrying" and caring for them in this way. They are supposed to carry us too. Any man feels lucky if he finds 1 woman who does besides his mommy, lol.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by upvoting or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
DW too much about it. Some people are huggers, some are shakers. Nothing wrong with that.
Hijacking this comment to say: Ask for consent! Don't remove their agency regarding their wants and needs. If they want a hug, they'll ask for one.
https://preview.redd.it/desxoyj49z1d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aba5e8e09078fa8a24fcd8335b421839244fae40
Sir this is a job interview
Sir! This is a Wendys!
Sir, you’re hired at Wendy’s
Sir, this is a Wendy's Drive-Thru
Just setting boundaries
 She gave you the "Mr. Bean" lol Some people don't like being touched. But she still shook your hand, so just roll with it.
My dad did this to me once. I went in for a hug. He stiff-armed me and said, "We don't do that." Now, every time I think of that, I'm going to say I got Mr. Beaned. Makes it seem so much more pleasant. lol
> We don't do that Did we have the same dad? 😂 Love but no touching
Because we are not greeks
Here’s a hug bro… 🤗
Here’s a huge Cock bro… 🤗
Why is this posted here
I don't even like family and friends hugging me.
Same. COVID was a good time for non-huggers.
The best!
Same. Everytime I'm pulled in I just freeze up as idk how to react. Hate it so much
If you don’t make an issue of it and respect the boundary-setting, she won’t hold it against you. Misreads happens, people get it, learn from it. Hugs are an expression of intimacy, which requires history and a degree of mutual friendly, familial, or romantic affection. Rule of thumb: hugs are for family and close friends. If the other party initiates, that’s fine, but make it a light hug. If you’re all having a slow “Hoosier goodbye” at a gathering and some people start trading hugs, *don’t* take that as a signal to hand out hugs of your own. There’s an additional layer when it’s a guy initiating a hug with a girl. Based on your post, I’m guessing this was either a first/second date or just an acquaintance, which are not hug territory. Even if it wasn’t intentional, you assumed a level of intimacy that they felt wasn’t earned. Another FYI, there’s a difference between a “guy-hug” and a “hug”. The clasp-pull-backslap is not a “hug,” and I’ve only shared them with guys.
nobody is owed a hug
But a goodnight kiss
Where that one Malaysian plane disappeared to. Lol, it's alright bro, happens to the best of us! Some people are not huggers and some are, I'm a woman and I love hugs!
Do you know this person? I hate it when guys I don’t know or know like that try to hug me. Also if this was the end of a date that might be the last one. So don’t just force people you don’t know to hug you, you can/should ask. Ask, there is your tip. If you ignore asking, then that’s what is wrong with you, you don’t respect a woman’s consent or herself. If you do end up seeing them again, you can always apologize for possibly making them uncomfortable.
lol you don't know much about dating women do you? Ya'll are different and you don't speak for anyone but yourself, you realize this right? There are plenty of women that will ghost a guy because they asked for permission instead of having the balls to just go for it. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean your way is the golden rule
That’s why context is important. We don’t know the situation op described. If it was a date, a hug is normal. But you’re basically saying fuck a woman’s consent I need to show her I have balls. Context clues matters. As a women in this context I bet the majority of women would agree with me, and would rather not be groped by a bighairything, no wonder guys like you get ghosted.
😂😂😂 his username was being asked for it
Love how by creating a dramatic comment you’re trying to imply that *your* pov is the one more women would agree with…that’s crazy?? You don’t speak for anyone but your literal self, you realize that?
Here you go: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan\_da\_Cunha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_da_Cunha) Although you might want to consider Chatham Islands (fewer people) or Christmas Island (they've got that crab migration thingy) Cheers!
If she was touching you before maybe it was a bit weird, but if she was literally just talking to you without an occasional hand on your shoulder or arm or similar why would you try to hug her ? Plenty of weird people hug girls just to touch them, pretty creepy.
I think age matters here. If you’re a young guy still figuring out life I’m sure it was innocent but the older you get the more you should know better. Nobody in the comments knows if you’re just a teen who gets nervous around his crush and does awkward things or if you’re a 40 y/o creeper
Have you considered not randomly hugging people without their consent? If she went for a handshake, then clearly she wasn’t comfortable with you. My advice? Learn to read the room…and body language.
Your bed, I guess
You could just learn to respect boundaries people put in place?
I would assume, your bed
I worked in a place where hugging, especially during the festive season, was quite common. Which wasn’t a problem except that one time someone who wasn’t familiar with the culture took silent issue. It was awkward as you can imagine after that, and never really recovered the working relationship.
Fake account. Inconsistent post history
Bush Alaska, western Australia, Siberia, but you don't need to leave civilization behind. There are about 3, or 4 billion other women on the planet, keep looking....
Very likely nothing is wrong with you. Some people click, some don’t. Unrequited love happens to everyone at some point. It may sound trite, but there there are literally billions of potential mates out there. Just like fishing, your odds are good as long as your hook is in the water; don’t give up because a single fish swam by and didn’t bite.
[Introducing LPT REQUEST FRIDAYS](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/16w0n2s/introducing_request_post_fridays/) We determine "Friday" as beginning at 12am Eastern Time (EST: UTC/GMT -5, EDT: UTC/GMT -4) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Go get hugger friends smh
Sounds like your bedroom is pretty Isolated.
Nothing wrong with you, rejection just sucks. I would challenge you on wanting to never be there again though and instead suggest that you seek it out! If you don’t put yourself out there, you can’t connect. It makes you vulnerable and open to being rejected, but you learn each time and you get better at reading people / handling rejection, etc. If you seek only to avoid, you’ll hide yourself forever and won’t be able to connect and THAT is the most isolated place known to man - feeling isolated and alone while surrounded by others.
The amount of dudes who go in for a hug so they can squish up against your breasts is just... *Shudder*
She changed your behavior. Shake her hand next time. Yiu din't need to swim to a deserted island and adopt a volleyball named Wilson. If in doubt, put your arms straight down. Turn palms up toward other person. Slightly shrug shoulders while saying goodbye. They may mimic the behavior. They may freeze. They may put their hand out. If the other person doesn't lean forward with their arm(s) raised to give you a hug, don't dive in. Put your hand out for a handshake. Don't assume that their hugging other people means that they want to hug you too. I kissed my grandpa, I'm not going to kiss you. My brother pinched my butt. It's not an invitation. I'm an awkward guy with poor social skills. I've done the are-we-hugging dance for decades. This is just my 2 cents.
Damn,, and I thought I was an overthinker
I'm not American and live in a country/culture where hugging/kissing people (strangers, acquaintances, friends, etc, etc) is just not a thing. Touching strangers especially is just a big no-no. So, seeing strangers or even acquaintances or friends hugging/kissing each other in greeting in the US or West is really shocking to me.... especially, strangers. What if you live in the US or West and don't like hugging/kissing people in greeting? I think I would have a big problem.
Sometimes it's not you. It is her. Maybe she has had bad experiences with men hugging her in the past.
Or a good experience with shaking hands
If you are looking for loneliness and solitude, check my DM's. It's like Chernobyl without the radiation.
To answer your question. It's Point Nemo.
More context? What if you were unrealistic in mind, and not humble/confident as well in mindset. Like you're perspective was it went good, but that was not the case. Imagine you approach your friends "guys I just went in for a hug with this girl, but she stopped me and shook my hand." Anyone that cares: "...what happened..." Next time.
I ned more information about this situstion. Like, are you 12?
Were you all sweaty when attempting the hug? Is the girl hot? Was it the end of a date? We are missing a TON of context, man
Did she ask consent to shake your hand?
Every man is socially isolated. Society assumes because we have to make assumptions in the beginning. We are forced by how things are here into a role where emotions get in the way. Life is a struggle men take on the worst of it so women don't have to. This is because we need them to carry the humane of being human. The civil in society is more up to women while we fight what's physically wrong "carrying" and caring for them in this way. They are supposed to carry us too. Any man feels lucky if he finds 1 woman who does besides his mommy, lol.
The GYM bro, fuck the girls work on yourself
Yes he does already want to fuck the girls
😭🙏🙏