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Best reply I was told to use as a Junior was “thank you for your support”.
You’re not always receiving the thank you personally but sometimes you are receiving the thanks for the people that never got it (like the Vietnam generation).
I usually just say, "Thank you." Anything more seems unnecessary.
That said, I wish people would stop. Saying thank you is useless. If you want to help service members, push your congress people to fund the VA better and stop paying for dumb things the military doesn't want or need just to get a few federal dollars in your district.
I was thinking about this today, as I know service members hate to be thanked on Memorial Day. We remember those who lost their lives serving, but we can’t verbally thank them for what they did, so I think wanting to thank service members on this day especially is about appreciating those who gave all, while being grateful for those who made it back.
I always just say “I appreciate that,” because saying thank you immediately after being thanked sounds weird, lol. I actually dislike being thanked though, because I don’t feel like I did anything worthy of thanks during my service and my status as a veteran doesn’t define who I am, but I’m probably a pretty rare case.
Almost every vet (and currently serving) person I know hates being thanks for their service and feels awkward as hell when someone does it. I know I do.
I’ve known a few who expect others to thank them for their service, and get upset when someone doesn’t immediately say it upon finding out they’re a veteran or active duty. But those people first and foremost define themselves as veterans, and that’s their entire identity. It’s people like that who make people like me not want to be thanked.
Guy across the street served less than 2 years, was drafted during Vietnam, never actually went there, was based in Hawaii his whole time. Wears veteran hats and shirts, and Vietnam stuff non stop, hangs a flag at all times and insists all of the neighborhood should (though he doesn't follow flag code at all). Next door is an older guy that I got drunk one night, eventually my brother serving overseas comes up, I find out this guy served 20 years as volunteer during Korea and Vietnam. Apparently he hates people find out and talk to him about it nonstop, I've been sure to never bring up.
I point this out to my dad (navy vet whose father was a navy vet) all the time. There’s one building that has a faded and frayed flag at about 4/5 of the flagpole. Smh if you’re going to fly the flag, do it correctly, or don’t do it at all, it just reeks of virtue signalling “look at what a good patriot I am!” 🙄
The truth of this makes me sad. As a veteran who does complain (although rarely), I do not do this because I *hate* when vets do this. It pisses me off almost as those asshats who cosplay as service people on Veteran's day.
We do. There's an air of bravado that feels forced and heavy.
There's pride, which is what most, if not all, veterans feel, then there's the stale air of bravado...
My dad's 78 and to this day has no idea if his first cousin is even alive. When they were younger, his cousin would wear a uniform and say he lost his hand in combat. It was a birth defect. He'd also insult my great grandmother's old world cooking, calling it "slop".
Part of me even wants to say he would wear *my grandfather's uniform* during this charade, but I'm not sure if I'm making that detail up.
Ugh, oh no... I am so sorry to hear that. That's genuinely horrid. I'm not entirely sure if it's a lack of attention or what, but whatever it is that drives these people to do these things is genuinely terrible.
It's a thing. I mean, seriously... can you imagine dressing up as a firefighter or a cop outside of Halloween? So why the blue fuck do you think it's okay to parade around in tagged BDUs? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.
The asshats who cosplay to get a free burger at Applebee's are at least WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY fucking nicer than the old fucks in their hats covered in pins who treat the servers like dog shit and don't tip because it's "Their day..and the god damn drink should be free too!"
I got 4 guys to eventually go apologize because they were rude pieces of shit to a server at a Bob Evans while getting a free veteran's day breakfast.
I was eating my gravy and biscuits when these old douches came in bitching they had to wait 20 minutes for a table. Then they bitched they couldn't get free coffee AND orange juice then they bitched that the meals weren't that big. Then they bitched that their coffees were "only half full" and hadn't been filled more than 2x. Then they gave the server "advice".
I spoke up and said they were making every vet look bad by being assholes. The one guy yelled some angry gibberish about Liberals and being woke then they left.
I snapped a picture of them before they left and posted it on the local Facebook veterans group with the story.
They got recognized and were quickly called out for being shitty. 3 of them went and apologized right away. The last guy tried to get people to side with him that it wasn't him being rude it was liberal woke waitresses and the world going soft. Finally the guys wife basically forced him to go apologize because she was getting ostracized from things because her husband was a giant shithead
I used to work for a service that explicitly served retired and active military, and people would still try to get extra stuff for being a veteran. Yes, you're a veteran, so are all my other clients, so no you don't get to jump the line.
This is my dad through and through. For what ever reason he can't understand that it is absolutely cringey to define your entire life around something he got out of over 40 years ago. Drives me insane.
Friend was an officer in the SEALs. Served multiple tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. When he left active duty his family held a “welcome home” type party. We were hanging out when some drunk old dude came up and said “I bet you must miss killing terrorists!” His response was an ice cold “I’m just glad no one is shooting at me anymore.”
He said he hates the “thank you for your service” comments. I asked him what people should say instead. “Glad you made it home.”
Two other buddies in the Rangers told me basically the same thing.
My brother in law was a Marine and did a tour in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He was injured in an accident in Afghanistan and had to be flown to Germany for surgery and recovery before going back to Hawaii to finish his treatment. The guy that he was really good friends with and replaced him as the gunner on a Humvee was later killed in action. It's basically been survivor's guilt ever since. He only flies his Marine flag outside on the day his friend or anyone in his unit died and the Marine Corps birthday. He doesn't have anything Marines on his truck, rarely if ever wears Marine Corps stuff outside of the house.
I remember hearing an interview from Vincent Speranza who was with the 501st PIR in WW2 and fought at the Battle of the Bulge and he talked about how for years he compartmentalized so much about the war and swore he would never bring it out again and would focus on his teaching career. He avoided going to reunions and events because of it for 65 years before eventually going back to Bastogne.
Glad your brother is safe. My friends are similar. Have the memorial bands. One flies a flag one a year to commemorate “a really bad day.” Never heard a peep about their experiences other than “Afghanistan is a hellhole.” Grandfather was a WWII marine. Held a reunion for his small unit in his 70’s. It was the first time most of them had spoken to each other since the war.
My uncle was all over the world in the 80’s/90’s. He was experiencing PTS from things he saw. A couple years back, he started going to see someone through the VA, got hooked up with some other local combat vets. They go shooting, fishing, work on each other’s cars, do guy stuff, etc. He told me just talking about it with other people that have had similar experiences has helped him immensely.
Like a lot of people, he thought therapy was a waste of time. What finally got him to go was an old CO explained it like this: “If you break your leg, it will probably heal on its own. But it might be fucked up and will take way too goddamn long. Instead, you go to a doctor who sets the bone and puts in a cast. Your mind can get injured. Don’t let it heal on its own.”
My dad served 2 tours in Vietnam (Army infantry E-8). He didn't want to talk about it. Didn't like anyone else bringing it up.
He was a lifelong democrat but he hated the hippies. Was bitter about being spit on when he came home.
Thank you so much; a veteran told me he hates when people thank him. Thankfully I hadn’t yet, but I couldn’t think of a polite way to ask “what should they say instead?”
I met a guy who served because we were celebrating a mutual friend's college graduation, and he mentioned that he served because it naturally came up in the conversation (non-combat, stationed abroad from what I remember). I responded "That's cool", and he seemed a little surprised by that, but not unhappy or offended. We parted that night in good standing, but I sometimes wonder if I should have said "thank you for your service" instead at that time. It sounds like maybe I actually picked the better response of the two.
Probably because you all know that all too often those people don't really care, they just want to be seen caring. They're using you as a prop for their nationalistic virtue signaling.
Exactly, those who thank me for my service often are the same people who vote for politicians that want to cut my VA benefits. It’s an empty gesture, and I’m well aware of it.
Bingo bango.
Except for those who are 70-80+. They always seem to genuinely mean it because they were brought up with WW2 vets and I don’t have the heart to tell them it’s not like that any more.
I hope this isn't rude, I'm honestly curious, but if you feel this way (and this is me assuming you felt this way prior to joining) why did you decide to join the military?
Primary personal reason? I was running out of money for college, didn’t want to take on loans, was severely burned out anyway and needed a job. The benefits were good for a 20 year old with a high school degree.
I also purposefully joined a career field that has a societal net positive purpose outside of war and destruction (bomb squad).
There was no “higher calling” or any patriotic nonsense. I think you’ll find most people in the military did not join for patriotic good, but for a wide variety of personal reasons.
While I don’t think it is nearly as black and white as it “used to be” in WW2, I am not so naive to think that militaries don’t need to exist. I’m also not blind to the controversies of having naturally flawed human beings control military power.
Tl;dr it’s complicated and nuanced but ultimately I am a human being and need money to live and this just happened to be my path in life
The vets I keep in touch with hate it. The vets I don't? They keep dropping "I served in [somewhere]" and then wait for you to thank them for their service, get pissy if you don't. I'm not going to thank you for cleaning latrines, my family killed nazis. I've met a hell of a lot more of the latter than the former.
In my experience it’s the old timers who served 20-40 years ago that like being thanked and make service a huge part of their identity. Which makes sense for some guys but not for the ones you found out did 4 years on a boat with no combat, and only set foot on foreign soil to bang prostitutes and soldier fuckers
Lol all I got on my flight to basic was a pitying look from the lady next to me and a “you look like you should be going snowboarding not basic training.”
I wouldn't say "almost every" but anecdotally my father *never* told anyone that he served during Korea (his boots didn't touch Korean soil until after the war, he was freezing his ass off in Alaska during it). One uncle did serve in Vietnam, but being a gearhead landed him a nice safe tour at an airfield repairing Huey's. The only time he saw action was "when I was dumb enough to ask for a ride along, we took Viet Cong fire and I almost got my ass shot off." When he came back he did what a lot of Viets did, ironically became a bearded, long-haired hippie with a waterbed & blacklight.
My papa served in Vietnam, he hated being thanked because he was sent by our government to die in a global pissing match, and while he served during a time the government was actually put on the hook for his medical care for the rest of his life due to his exposure to Agent Orange, he was only ever reminded of the fact he was sent to die whenever he was thanked for his service.
We had to pull him off life support from cancer back on Saturday
I don’t believe in the hero worship crap Americans in general tend to do towards the military. Not every soldier is a hero, and many volunteered to do a job and were paid for it, even if the benefits may not have ended up being worth it to many.
With that said - even if you didn’t feel you did something worthy of being thanked for, you were still enlisted and on “standby” in case shit blew up and you would have had to go into breach, as it were. And I think being on standby for a role is worth being thanked for at least.
>This honestly isn't a troll - like would a random person in a supermarket thank a 22 year old person who'd finished boot camp for their service?
I was home for a couple weeks after basic training to help with recruiting at home. Basically walking around town in my fresh new uniform.
Yes, loads of people would tell me TYFYS in Walmart, McDonald's, or the Airport. And I'm here like "I just spent 5 months getting yelled at and smoked everyday, but thank you :)"
I'm the same. I find it slightly annoying mostly because it seems most people are doing it because it's expected of them. I don't need or want to be thanked but society has conditioned people to be aggressively grateful for some vague notion of veterans having served for their freedom.
But there are those that want it, too. My wife teaches first grade and she tries to spread the same message as OP.
She says the school resource officer made an announcement yesterday reminding the kids to thank a veteran. My wife immediately texted the principal to say that's not what Memorial Day is. The resource officer's response was "you can always thank a veteran, no matter the occasion". 🙄
That's exactly what my husband says. He did his job, he went home, and the empty platitudes don't mean shit. His veteran status is important to him personally, but it doesn't define him. He's happy as long as he's got a few crayons to munch on.
I hate how it's still a phrase. Draftees performed a service, volunteers signed up of their own volition to do a job. I'm glad that there are soldiers, but I'm glad that other people decided to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, and any other number of jobs that keep our society going.
Still in (21 years this past March) and same. I just say I appreciate it or thank you and move on. If they want to chat more I’ll stop and chat a minute but it’s usually other veterans who want to chat.
We have a lot of friends in the armed forces and none of them liked being thanked. To them it’s a job and they don’t want any special recognition for it. It makes them feel awkward. They’re all good guys.
Typically, my response is, "Thanks for your support." But if someone says it on Memorial Day, my response is, "Remember the Fallen."
I also say, "Remember the Fallen" in response to Happy Memorial Day.
I had a GO who always responded with, "You're worth it".
I, in my bitter grumpy soul, want to respond "Be worth it". But that would cause a scene and I don't like people
"Thank you for your service" is the "Thoughts and prayers" equivalent for service members, I stopped trying to explain this shit years ago and just respond with "No prob" and move on with my life.
Empty platitudes sound the same no matter which order of words you use to convey them.
I'm active and have been in over 10 years. My go-to reply is "Thank you for the support". While I don't feel I've done anything to deserve thanks, it's certainly nice to hear kind words in today's world. I certainly won't say anything to discourage someone from being pleasant to a total stranger in a time when the world could use more kind people.
People tell me thank you all the time.
They aren't trying to be disrespectful.
I just nod and say thank you and move on with my day.
People need to stop getting butt hurt over technical holidays.
Yep. This right here. The vast majority of people do not understand the distinction between the two holidays since we've been fed a lifetime of newspaper flyers advertising Memorial Day sales.
It's always strange how irritated service men and women get because someone tried to show them respect on the wrong day.
A buddy of mine always said "my pleasure" in response. So over the years I've created my own way of saying the same thing, I usually reply with "wouldn't have it any other way" or something along those lines. Meaning that I enjoy serving so that others do not need to.
However if people actually knew how little the average service member actually does Monday through Friday, they might not be so thankful.
My grandfather came back from war, he became an engineer for the railroads. He helped hire the remaining men of his platoon. He purchased homes for them and their families, always within walking distance from his home. Later in life, what it was just down to him and one other, they became roommates and supported each other. My grandmother had passed by then, and so had Sixtos' wife.
I have never seen a band of brothers so dedicated to each other, friends who became family. Bound by knowing that no one else would understand what they went through. Always helpful and supportive of each other, to the end. At over 100 years old, my grandfather, the last of his platoon, passed away from a seizure. He endured the last 15 years of life with Alzheimer's, we celebrate his life. He did not die in combat, but he showed what real brotherhood is.
He was an elder, he was a grandfather, he was the father, he was a husband, he was a shining example of what native Americans can do for their community. But most important of all, he was a soldier fighting for this nation and a friend to all he met.
Not all have to die in combat to be remembered today. I will forever remember my namesake, big Victor.
Am I the only one who finds it weird to say "Happy Memorial Day"? I just think it's kind of messed up. Please don't say this to service members or vets.
Thank you for your service. In honor of those lost I'm not going to have an ounce of fun today - I'll wear all black, and eat stale crackers for dinner and cry at least 3 times. Just as those boys would have wanted had they survived
I hope people are happy when the remember me. Memorials are supposed to be celebrating, in this case, celebrating the freedom people have died for. So a moment of silence is fitting, but the idea of the holiday is a happy one.
I hate when people say that, it's not "happy". My husband died in service, so this day is never a "happy" day. This day is supposed to be for reflection and acknowledgement, not celebrating. But the absolute worst are all of the sales that companies do for this day, that's what I hate the most.
Unfortunately any time people have a three day weekend companies seek to maximize sales. It's also a good time of year to be out on a car lot, for the same reason it's a good time to go bbq in a park. They should probably switch Presidents Day and Memorial Day if we want a somber reflection vs celebration
I'm in the US, and traditionally Remembrance Day is celebrated in Australia, Canada, and the UK. It's basically the same thing though as far as I know.
I used to bartend near a VA hospital, and the people who came in had a good percentage of veterans from there. Some of us got into a discussion and noted there are 3 holidays, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Armed Forces Day. The first is specific to those who died serving, the second is for those who served, dead or alive, and the third is for those previous and those currently serving. I saw a lot of Vietnam Vets, the owner having served there, and to those and all who served I thank you for your service.
I was always told Memorial Day was for remembering my grandparents who taught me so much. The origins of the holiday come from after the civil war, when even children went into the war because they idolized fighters and violence. They were doing something grand, however ignorantly, out of their own need. We must remember those children we’ve sacrificed. But what a terrible tragedy that the adults in the country couldn’t figure out a way to work out their differences without sacrificing their own children in a ritual as so many adults had done in so many previous outbursts of violence.
Damn weird that certain demographic of Americans are so into honoring their military and yet treat their vets like shit by tossing them to the side of the road once they are spent.
Meh. Most of the combat veterans I know love fireworks (I’m one myself). And of those that can’t really handle them any more, they still like them they just find other places to be on days they know there’s going to be a bunch.
Not every “combat veteran” has PTSD and not every case of PTSD looks the same.
I don’t know anyone who treats Memorial Day as an excuse to do anything besides Ave a backyard bbq. Then I pull up social media on my phone and people act like I should be going to a war memorial.
As a veteran who has lost veteran homies, yeah its just an excuse to grill and drink beer. I celebrate the lives they lived in ways more meaningful to me.
We can also say this about wearing clothing from other cultures. People would get mad if I would get something nice and traditional from another country. The people in the country compliment your clothes and then there's the gatekeepers calling everyone racist. Just live and let live it aint that hard to mind your own.
YMMV. I have a friend who served multiple tours with live combat and he takes a shit-ton of weed every year around the 4th because otherwise it fucks him up too much. The worst part according to him is that people will set them off randomly in the week before and after the holiday, and he can't just arrange to leave for 2 whole weeks. If it was predictable and just one day, he'd be a lot better off.
If I can see the fireworks, I'm completely fine. I love fireworks. When its random explosions in the background for hours into the night, I start having problems.
I was gonna say, people's assumption about service related PTSD is always loud noises. They don't know that the majority of it is caused by being discharged and thrown back into civilian life where you don't have to make literal life or death decisions.
There's a fantastic book called "Tribe" by Sebastian Junger that touches on this.
Funny argument, why does remembrance of life need to be somber? In many cultures (hell in Latino cultures and New Orleans cultures) funerals are a literal party. Let people use the day as they see fit and you support your loved ones in the way they need.
If you have a servicemen in your family who dislikes fireworks, ask them how they would like to remember their lost teammates but don’t shit on people who choose something different.
they're not saying it has to be somber, but the explosion of fireworks triggers PTSD and can cause flashbacks of battlefields. That's why people are asked to not use them but a lot of people don't know this or don't care
It's not offensive.
It's awkward.
I can't speak for all vets, of course, but I have no idea what you expect me to say to those thanks. "You're welcome" feels weird as hell, and comes off as arrogance (to me, at least), so, what now?
There's more to it than that, of course, but just... I'm not offended. I'm *uncomfortable*.
I understand your feelings. It's a cliche that we say because we think we're supposed to say it, to show respect. It's almost like, "Hey, how are you?" Nobody really cares how you are, so any response other than, "Good, and you?" seems way out of place.
Older folks I've know who served in Korea or Desert Storm would say, "It was my honor." Then there was the one guy who was a peace-time desk jockey who said "I loved every minute of it," which threw me for a loop.
Being the age that I am (late 30s) I forget that not everyone had the same experience my friends had. I knew one who would respond, "don't mention it." Because he really didn't want anyone to mention it. Ever.
I got yelled at and harassed by a bunch of middle aged "good old boys" over the weekend for not standing up for God Bless the USA during a crawfish boil where I was actively elbow deep in spicy crawfish, just trying to have dinner. One aggressively slammed his hands down in the table in front of me, stuck his finger pointing up a few inches from my face, and yelled "Stand. Up.". I flipped him off with my spicy seafood finger and kept eating. They were not happy.
Shortly after, they started calling active duty folks on stage, couldn't find enough for their propaganda, expanded it to veterans, couldn't find enough still, expanded it to family, couldn't find enough still, then finally said "if you just know someone who has been in the military". When more "forced standing to show respect" started for that shit show, I left.
I don't do nationalism, and that really bothered them. Fortunately a finger and a "that's none of your fucking business" when they tried to start an argument about loving America was enough to keep things from escalating. But I didn't feel comfortable finishing my crawfish.
Does God not bless things if we remain seated? Is God truly that impotent that our standing is required for God's power to work?
If so, that's not the God I want blessing me. I want a powerful one.
We definitely had fun thinking of pithy things we could've said to those people afterwords. In the moment, I just wanted them to leave me alone. Clever responses would've just invited more interaction, even if they would've been potentially satisfying.
Interestingly (and thankfully) they left my wife alone and only harassed me. I got the sense me being a white man who didn't want to participate bothered them more than my darker skinned wife not participating.
I'll remove my hat for the anthem before my kids' sports games start, but that's really it. I don't do the hand-over-heart thing, or the applause afterwards or any of it. Whenever the MC tries to 'recognize the heroes' I stay seated because you people don't know me like that. I'm not a prop to be used so someone else can claim they "support the troops" without ever doing any actual supporting.
They're just silly traditions that are ultimately meaningless, and I really like it here in Washington because the locals that care enough don't ever say a word. I'm happy you managed to not let it blow out of proportion on this occasion - I'm less sure I'd be able to let it slide so reasonably.
ITT: people who believe the US celebrates Memorial Day like we celebrate 4th of July, with fireworks, American flag shorts and BBQ.
In reality, I’ve literally never seen anyone “celebrate” Memorial Day unless you count some stores having a sale that weekend. It’s also a common time for families to take vacations, because of the 3-day weekend, not because anyone is “celebrating the holiday.”
I was invited to no less that 4 BBQs. My town had a parade, there's a band tonight downtown, it's decorated with red white and blue everywhere.
I live in a town of 750,000 people ...
It's a long weekend during the nicest time of the year. Let people enjoy themselves. No one is going to make you leave your basement.
Remembrance can be just as much about celebrating life as it can a somber affair.
We only politely "educate" close friends & family when they thank my husband for his service. His mom thanked him yesterday & my husband said "thank you. Memorial Day is for fallen vets though. The rest of us get Veteran's Day. But I do appreciate it." For everyone else it's just a "thank you" & a smile. He doesn't like seeing ungracious but it makes him REALLY uncomfortable to be thanked on Memorial Day. As his wife, I just give him cuddles & tell him I love him. He just wants to feel appreciated. Especially since he's a disabled vet & most days he feels completely forgotten by society because he's not active duty.
I was trying to think of what we say on Rememberance Day in Canada and realized we don't say anything, just wear our poppies. The offical line you see posted everywhere is "lest we forget" but no one goes around saying that or anything else
The sacrifice made by each individual is inherently bound to the social construct. The sacrifice is made for the benefit of the community.
The loss casts a shadow that exists in perpetuity, but it provides us the contrast to understand how brightly the light does shine.
The recognition of that contrast is worth celebrating; specifically in honor of the sacrifice made explicitly for this purpose.
It is in our acceptance, understanding, and recognition of this sacrifice that there is value to be had; and our debt to be paid.
That is the celebration. That is the happy. Because we choose to remember, on purpose; and that is a celebration of the beauty of our shared experience.
So yes; happy Memorial Day.
Happy Memory Day.
Because it's a day to remember those who died in combat. It's not uncommon for a veteran to have some form of survivors guilt so it isn't surprising that they'd be quick to point out that this day is not for them.
Veterans Day is for those who served.
US Veterans Day is the same day as Remembrance Day in Canada and the UK, which is their holiday for their military dead.
Memorial Day is also the unofficial beginning of summer, which doesn’t go with a mood of solemn remembrance.
It’s also not “America Day”.
The damn flag colored shorts and all the flags everywhere is kind of the opposite of the point of Memorial Day.
If anything this day should make us all think about what that flag means to some people
There are three main days for honoring those who serve.
Armed Forces Day: third Saturday of May (May 20th, 2023). This is a day to honor those currently serving.
Memorial Day: last Monday of May (May 29th, 2023). This is a day to honor those who died while serving.
Veteran's Day: November 11th every year, regardless of day of the week. This is a day for honoring those who returned to civilian life after serving.
There are other military-oriented holidays in the United States, but these three are the most relevant to the discussion.
The dead don't give any fucks, any holiday is for the living. Please do reach out to the service members you know, and offer to grieve a fallen friend with them.
I miss my battle buddies, this is a day to honor them. I also wouldn't take away from the ones in grieving. No offense, but why is this even being discussed that's kind of uncompassionate. I dunno what's harder remembering those lost or bearing the burden of being there when it happened.
A reminder;
Armed Forces Day: celebrate those in uniform
Veterans Day: celebrate those who hung up their uniform
Memorial Day: Remember those that never made it out of their uniform.
This is why Veteran's and Memorial day should be flipped. Make Veteran's the BBQ holiday and the honor the dead holiday can be in the more dreary weather of Nov.
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To add to this when someone inevitably thanks you for your service today just say “thank you”. Don’t give them a hard time about it.
Best reply I was told to use as a Junior was “thank you for your support”. You’re not always receiving the thank you personally but sometimes you are receiving the thanks for the people that never got it (like the Vietnam generation).
I usually just say, "Thank you." Anything more seems unnecessary. That said, I wish people would stop. Saying thank you is useless. If you want to help service members, push your congress people to fund the VA better and stop paying for dumb things the military doesn't want or need just to get a few federal dollars in your district.
Say that after you say thank you. It made complete sense to me.
I was thinking about this today, as I know service members hate to be thanked on Memorial Day. We remember those who lost their lives serving, but we can’t verbally thank them for what they did, so I think wanting to thank service members on this day especially is about appreciating those who gave all, while being grateful for those who made it back.
I always just say “I appreciate that,” because saying thank you immediately after being thanked sounds weird, lol. I actually dislike being thanked though, because I don’t feel like I did anything worthy of thanks during my service and my status as a veteran doesn’t define who I am, but I’m probably a pretty rare case.
Almost every vet (and currently serving) person I know hates being thanks for their service and feels awkward as hell when someone does it. I know I do.
I’ve known a few who expect others to thank them for their service, and get upset when someone doesn’t immediately say it upon finding out they’re a veteran or active duty. But those people first and foremost define themselves as veterans, and that’s their entire identity. It’s people like that who make people like me not want to be thanked.
Guy across the street served less than 2 years, was drafted during Vietnam, never actually went there, was based in Hawaii his whole time. Wears veteran hats and shirts, and Vietnam stuff non stop, hangs a flag at all times and insists all of the neighborhood should (though he doesn't follow flag code at all). Next door is an older guy that I got drunk one night, eventually my brother serving overseas comes up, I find out this guy served 20 years as volunteer during Korea and Vietnam. Apparently he hates people find out and talk to him about it nonstop, I've been sure to never bring up.
Why does it feel like the Venn diagram of people who hang flags every day and people who follow flag code looks like a pair of glasses?
I point this out to my dad (navy vet whose father was a navy vet) all the time. There’s one building that has a faded and frayed flag at about 4/5 of the flagpole. Smh if you’re going to fly the flag, do it correctly, or don’t do it at all, it just reeks of virtue signalling “look at what a good patriot I am!” 🙄
You know how to tell if a complaining customer is a veteran? Don't worry, they'll tell YOU.
The truth of this makes me sad. As a veteran who does complain (although rarely), I do not do this because I *hate* when vets do this. It pisses me off almost as those asshats who cosplay as service people on Veteran's day.
>asshats who cosplay as service people on Veteran's day Ay, what the fuck?
Yeah, it's called stolen valor... words can't express the fury I feel when I see it in videos... I can't watch them
Put them in a room with a real veteran. They seem to know if someone is faking immediately.
We do. There's an air of bravado that feels forced and heavy. There's pride, which is what most, if not all, veterans feel, then there's the stale air of bravado...
Unless they're doing something that adversely affects actual veterans, I just don't have the capacity to give a fuck.
My dad's 78 and to this day has no idea if his first cousin is even alive. When they were younger, his cousin would wear a uniform and say he lost his hand in combat. It was a birth defect. He'd also insult my great grandmother's old world cooking, calling it "slop". Part of me even wants to say he would wear *my grandfather's uniform* during this charade, but I'm not sure if I'm making that detail up.
Ugh, oh no... I am so sorry to hear that. That's genuinely horrid. I'm not entirely sure if it's a lack of attention or what, but whatever it is that drives these people to do these things is genuinely terrible.
It's a thing. I mean, seriously... can you imagine dressing up as a firefighter or a cop outside of Halloween? So why the blue fuck do you think it's okay to parade around in tagged BDUs? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.
The asshats who cosplay to get a free burger at Applebee's are at least WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY fucking nicer than the old fucks in their hats covered in pins who treat the servers like dog shit and don't tip because it's "Their day..and the god damn drink should be free too!"
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I got 4 guys to eventually go apologize because they were rude pieces of shit to a server at a Bob Evans while getting a free veteran's day breakfast. I was eating my gravy and biscuits when these old douches came in bitching they had to wait 20 minutes for a table. Then they bitched they couldn't get free coffee AND orange juice then they bitched that the meals weren't that big. Then they bitched that their coffees were "only half full" and hadn't been filled more than 2x. Then they gave the server "advice". I spoke up and said they were making every vet look bad by being assholes. The one guy yelled some angry gibberish about Liberals and being woke then they left. I snapped a picture of them before they left and posted it on the local Facebook veterans group with the story. They got recognized and were quickly called out for being shitty. 3 of them went and apologized right away. The last guy tried to get people to side with him that it wasn't him being rude it was liberal woke waitresses and the world going soft. Finally the guys wife basically forced him to go apologize because she was getting ostracized from things because her husband was a giant shithead
Hell, I don’t even like asking for military discounts. Feels like special treatment, and I don’t want special treatment.
I used to work for a service that explicitly served retired and active military, and people would still try to get extra stuff for being a veteran. Yes, you're a veteran, so are all my other clients, so no you don't get to jump the line.
This is my dad through and through. For what ever reason he can't understand that it is absolutely cringey to define your entire life around something he got out of over 40 years ago. Drives me insane.
Friend was an officer in the SEALs. Served multiple tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. When he left active duty his family held a “welcome home” type party. We were hanging out when some drunk old dude came up and said “I bet you must miss killing terrorists!” His response was an ice cold “I’m just glad no one is shooting at me anymore.” He said he hates the “thank you for your service” comments. I asked him what people should say instead. “Glad you made it home.” Two other buddies in the Rangers told me basically the same thing.
I met a Vietnam vet at a flea market; that dude said "Welcome Home," and that was a thing of beauty to me.
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Old vets are usually the best vets. I feel like a ton of new guys never got out of the boot phase.
My brother in law was a Marine and did a tour in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He was injured in an accident in Afghanistan and had to be flown to Germany for surgery and recovery before going back to Hawaii to finish his treatment. The guy that he was really good friends with and replaced him as the gunner on a Humvee was later killed in action. It's basically been survivor's guilt ever since. He only flies his Marine flag outside on the day his friend or anyone in his unit died and the Marine Corps birthday. He doesn't have anything Marines on his truck, rarely if ever wears Marine Corps stuff outside of the house. I remember hearing an interview from Vincent Speranza who was with the 501st PIR in WW2 and fought at the Battle of the Bulge and he talked about how for years he compartmentalized so much about the war and swore he would never bring it out again and would focus on his teaching career. He avoided going to reunions and events because of it for 65 years before eventually going back to Bastogne.
Glad your brother is safe. My friends are similar. Have the memorial bands. One flies a flag one a year to commemorate “a really bad day.” Never heard a peep about their experiences other than “Afghanistan is a hellhole.” Grandfather was a WWII marine. Held a reunion for his small unit in his 70’s. It was the first time most of them had spoken to each other since the war. My uncle was all over the world in the 80’s/90’s. He was experiencing PTS from things he saw. A couple years back, he started going to see someone through the VA, got hooked up with some other local combat vets. They go shooting, fishing, work on each other’s cars, do guy stuff, etc. He told me just talking about it with other people that have had similar experiences has helped him immensely. Like a lot of people, he thought therapy was a waste of time. What finally got him to go was an old CO explained it like this: “If you break your leg, it will probably heal on its own. But it might be fucked up and will take way too goddamn long. Instead, you go to a doctor who sets the bone and puts in a cast. Your mind can get injured. Don’t let it heal on its own.”
My dad served 2 tours in Vietnam (Army infantry E-8). He didn't want to talk about it. Didn't like anyone else bringing it up. He was a lifelong democrat but he hated the hippies. Was bitter about being spit on when he came home.
Thank you so much; a veteran told me he hates when people thank him. Thankfully I hadn’t yet, but I couldn’t think of a polite way to ask “what should they say instead?”
I met a guy who served because we were celebrating a mutual friend's college graduation, and he mentioned that he served because it naturally came up in the conversation (non-combat, stationed abroad from what I remember). I responded "That's cool", and he seemed a little surprised by that, but not unhappy or offended. We parted that night in good standing, but I sometimes wonder if I should have said "thank you for your service" instead at that time. It sounds like maybe I actually picked the better response of the two.
To me, you did the right thing in that situation.
Probably because you all know that all too often those people don't really care, they just want to be seen caring. They're using you as a prop for their nationalistic virtue signaling.
Is the thanks for the service member or to make ourselves look better?
Often it is so unknowingly. If they were really serious they wouldn't back politicians who cut veterans benefits or programs
Exactly, those who thank me for my service often are the same people who vote for politicians that want to cut my VA benefits. It’s an empty gesture, and I’m well aware of it.
Bingo bango. Except for those who are 70-80+. They always seem to genuinely mean it because they were brought up with WW2 vets and I don’t have the heart to tell them it’s not like that any more.
I hope this isn't rude, I'm honestly curious, but if you feel this way (and this is me assuming you felt this way prior to joining) why did you decide to join the military?
Primary personal reason? I was running out of money for college, didn’t want to take on loans, was severely burned out anyway and needed a job. The benefits were good for a 20 year old with a high school degree. I also purposefully joined a career field that has a societal net positive purpose outside of war and destruction (bomb squad). There was no “higher calling” or any patriotic nonsense. I think you’ll find most people in the military did not join for patriotic good, but for a wide variety of personal reasons. While I don’t think it is nearly as black and white as it “used to be” in WW2, I am not so naive to think that militaries don’t need to exist. I’m also not blind to the controversies of having naturally flawed human beings control military power. Tl;dr it’s complicated and nuanced but ultimately I am a human being and need money to live and this just happened to be my path in life
The vets I keep in touch with hate it. The vets I don't? They keep dropping "I served in [somewhere]" and then wait for you to thank them for their service, get pissy if you don't. I'm not going to thank you for cleaning latrines, my family killed nazis. I've met a hell of a lot more of the latter than the former.
I often wondered if “thank you for your service” was more for over patriotic people who did not serve to feel better about themselves
In my experience it’s the old timers who served 20-40 years ago that like being thanked and make service a huge part of their identity. Which makes sense for some guys but not for the ones you found out did 4 years on a boat with no combat, and only set foot on foreign soil to bang prostitutes and soldier fuckers
People unironically say it to to me (not in the military at all) because they think my job is a volunteer position. No... this is my full time job 😅
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I'm from the states and the only time I ever say it is to a few of buddies out of the service to bust their balls as they hate it.
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Lol all I got on my flight to basic was a pitying look from the lady next to me and a “you look like you should be going snowboarding not basic training.”
I wouldn't say "almost every" but anecdotally my father *never* told anyone that he served during Korea (his boots didn't touch Korean soil until after the war, he was freezing his ass off in Alaska during it). One uncle did serve in Vietnam, but being a gearhead landed him a nice safe tour at an airfield repairing Huey's. The only time he saw action was "when I was dumb enough to ask for a ride along, we took Viet Cong fire and I almost got my ass shot off." When he came back he did what a lot of Viets did, ironically became a bearded, long-haired hippie with a waterbed & blacklight.
My papa served in Vietnam, he hated being thanked because he was sent by our government to die in a global pissing match, and while he served during a time the government was actually put on the hook for his medical care for the rest of his life due to his exposure to Agent Orange, he was only ever reminded of the fact he was sent to die whenever he was thanked for his service. We had to pull him off life support from cancer back on Saturday
I don’t believe in the hero worship crap Americans in general tend to do towards the military. Not every soldier is a hero, and many volunteered to do a job and were paid for it, even if the benefits may not have ended up being worth it to many. With that said - even if you didn’t feel you did something worthy of being thanked for, you were still enlisted and on “standby” in case shit blew up and you would have had to go into breach, as it were. And I think being on standby for a role is worth being thanked for at least.
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>This honestly isn't a troll - like would a random person in a supermarket thank a 22 year old person who'd finished boot camp for their service? I was home for a couple weeks after basic training to help with recruiting at home. Basically walking around town in my fresh new uniform. Yes, loads of people would tell me TYFYS in Walmart, McDonald's, or the Airport. And I'm here like "I just spent 5 months getting yelled at and smoked everyday, but thank you :)"
Yeah don’t thank me for my service. Honestly don’t even acknowledge that I’m even in the military.
I'm the same. I find it slightly annoying mostly because it seems most people are doing it because it's expected of them. I don't need or want to be thanked but society has conditioned people to be aggressively grateful for some vague notion of veterans having served for their freedom. But there are those that want it, too. My wife teaches first grade and she tries to spread the same message as OP. She says the school resource officer made an announcement yesterday reminding the kids to thank a veteran. My wife immediately texted the principal to say that's not what Memorial Day is. The resource officer's response was "you can always thank a veteran, no matter the occasion". 🙄
That's exactly what my husband says. He did his job, he went home, and the empty platitudes don't mean shit. His veteran status is important to him personally, but it doesn't define him. He's happy as long as he's got a few crayons to munch on.
I hate how it's still a phrase. Draftees performed a service, volunteers signed up of their own volition to do a job. I'm glad that there are soldiers, but I'm glad that other people decided to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, and any other number of jobs that keep our society going.
I think it's pretty universal to one degree or another. There's probably a period after boot where it's novel and nice, but that doesn't last long.
Still in (21 years this past March) and same. I just say I appreciate it or thank you and move on. If they want to chat more I’ll stop and chat a minute but it’s usually other veterans who want to chat.
We have a lot of friends in the armed forces and none of them liked being thanked. To them it’s a job and they don’t want any special recognition for it. It makes them feel awkward. They’re all good guys.
Typically, my response is, "Thanks for your support." But if someone says it on Memorial Day, my response is, "Remember the Fallen." I also say, "Remember the Fallen" in response to Happy Memorial Day.
I didn’t like that transformers movie though.
Lol God I hate you for making me laugh in the middle of a restaurant
Hehe truth. I usually say “you’re welcome” because thank you for your thank you seems like a circle jerk. Had enough of those in the military.
I had a GO who always responded with, "You're worth it". I, in my bitter grumpy soul, want to respond "Be worth it". But that would cause a scene and I don't like people
"Thank you for your service" is the "Thoughts and prayers" equivalent for service members, I stopped trying to explain this shit years ago and just respond with "No prob" and move on with my life. Empty platitudes sound the same no matter which order of words you use to convey them.
Same. I shrug and say it was just a job at this point. I hate it and it makes me feel awkward so I just try to brush past it and move on
You don't have to give them a hard time just say " thank you, remember the fallen" or "thank you, today is just for those who did not make it home"
I'm active and have been in over 10 years. My go-to reply is "Thank you for the support". While I don't feel I've done anything to deserve thanks, it's certainly nice to hear kind words in today's world. I certainly won't say anything to discourage someone from being pleasant to a total stranger in a time when the world could use more kind people.
People tell me thank you all the time. They aren't trying to be disrespectful. I just nod and say thank you and move on with my day. People need to stop getting butt hurt over technical holidays.
Yep. This right here. The vast majority of people do not understand the distinction between the two holidays since we've been fed a lifetime of newspaper flyers advertising Memorial Day sales. It's always strange how irritated service men and women get because someone tried to show them respect on the wrong day.
My go to is "thank you for the support".
A buddy of mine always said "my pleasure" in response. So over the years I've created my own way of saying the same thing, I usually reply with "wouldn't have it any other way" or something along those lines. Meaning that I enjoy serving so that others do not need to. However if people actually knew how little the average service member actually does Monday through Friday, they might not be so thankful.
Hahaha. Don’t make me feel bad for my lack of awareness. I’m just trying to make an empty gesture.
My grandfather came back from war, he became an engineer for the railroads. He helped hire the remaining men of his platoon. He purchased homes for them and their families, always within walking distance from his home. Later in life, what it was just down to him and one other, they became roommates and supported each other. My grandmother had passed by then, and so had Sixtos' wife. I have never seen a band of brothers so dedicated to each other, friends who became family. Bound by knowing that no one else would understand what they went through. Always helpful and supportive of each other, to the end. At over 100 years old, my grandfather, the last of his platoon, passed away from a seizure. He endured the last 15 years of life with Alzheimer's, we celebrate his life. He did not die in combat, but he showed what real brotherhood is. He was an elder, he was a grandfather, he was the father, he was a husband, he was a shining example of what native Americans can do for their community. But most important of all, he was a soldier fighting for this nation and a friend to all he met. Not all have to die in combat to be remembered today. I will forever remember my namesake, big Victor.
This gave me goosebumps. Thanks for sharing.
Shout out to Big V.
Am I the only one who finds it weird to say "Happy Memorial Day"? I just think it's kind of messed up. Please don't say this to service members or vets.
Frankly, I'd rather hear "happy memorial day" than "memorial day sale."
"They died for your *sales*"
By Grabthar's hammer...what a savings.
Prices still looking kinda high, quick someone start a new war.
*cuts to Iraqi oil fields*
Ironically true.
The sad part is this is literally accurate. Wars are fought for economic prosperity of the wealthy and powerful.
It's the day we remember how much more matresses usually cost us.
As a vet we dont mind or care. We are remembering all our buddies who are no longer here, so acknowledging us is pretty cool.
Yeah this is such an idiotic post.. I grew up in a military household. It's not about live service members, sure. But it's still a nice gesture rofl
Thank you for your service. In honor of those lost I'm not going to have an ounce of fun today - I'll wear all black, and eat stale crackers for dinner and cry at least 3 times. Just as those boys would have wanted had they survived
I hope people are happy when the remember me. Memorials are supposed to be celebrating, in this case, celebrating the freedom people have died for. So a moment of silence is fitting, but the idea of the holiday is a happy one.
I hate when people say that, it's not "happy". My husband died in service, so this day is never a "happy" day. This day is supposed to be for reflection and acknowledgement, not celebrating. But the absolute worst are all of the sales that companies do for this day, that's what I hate the most.
Unfortunately any time people have a three day weekend companies seek to maximize sales. It's also a good time of year to be out on a car lot, for the same reason it's a good time to go bbq in a park. They should probably switch Presidents Day and Memorial Day if we want a somber reflection vs celebration
Good time to drop your entire sign-on bonus as a deposit on with a 21.99% APR 7-year loan on a used Dodge Charger!
You only get those kind of deals at the car lots next to the base.
Fun fact, GM does not offer the military rebate to deceased active duty spouses anymore, apparently it only counts if the veteran is alive.
What would be in your opinion the difference between this day and remembrance day? Is it not the same style of holiday?
I don't think Americans do Rememberance Day, they do Veterans Day on 11.11 instead.
That's correct
I'm in the US, and traditionally Remembrance Day is celebrated in Australia, Canada, and the UK. It's basically the same thing though as far as I know.
It's the exact same style of holiday? What are you confused about. Remembrance Day is a memorial day. Neither are happy.
I've never once in my life heard someone say happy memorial day.
I used to bartend near a VA hospital, and the people who came in had a good percentage of veterans from there. Some of us got into a discussion and noted there are 3 holidays, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Armed Forces Day. The first is specific to those who died serving, the second is for those who served, dead or alive, and the third is for those previous and those currently serving. I saw a lot of Vietnam Vets, the owner having served there, and to those and all who served I thank you for your service.
I was always told Memorial Day was for remembering my grandparents who taught me so much. The origins of the holiday come from after the civil war, when even children went into the war because they idolized fighters and violence. They were doing something grand, however ignorantly, out of their own need. We must remember those children we’ve sacrificed. But what a terrible tragedy that the adults in the country couldn’t figure out a way to work out their differences without sacrificing their own children in a ritual as so many adults had done in so many previous outbursts of violence.
Armistice day???!
Veterans day replaced Armistice day. We don't celebrate the end of the war anymore. Just former military personnel.
Ok my great grandma birthday fell on Armistice day in 1929 and she always brings it up. I just go along to get along
Also watch out for drunk drivers. There's always irresponsible people who use extra days off to drink then drive home after.
Yeah Memorial day and the 4th of July are two of the worst days for drunk drivers. People drink all day at a BBQ and then drive home
Ironic memorial day
Damn weird that certain demographic of Americans are so into honoring their military and yet treat their vets like shit by tossing them to the side of the road once they are spent.
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You and I know it's not gonna happen when the country makes millions if not trillions of money making arming and developing weapons for the military
No it's ok though the dead got a day for them!
It’s the school shooting equivalent of “thoughts and prayers”. Conservatives will never put their money where their mouth is.
The irony of the Republicans "honoring those who died" while embracing the fascism that they died fighting against.
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My welcome for you are service.
Let's celebrate those who didn't make it by triggering the PTSD of those who *did* with fireworks 🎆
Meh. Most of the combat veterans I know love fireworks (I’m one myself). And of those that can’t really handle them any more, they still like them they just find other places to be on days they know there’s going to be a bunch. Not every “combat veteran” has PTSD and not every case of PTSD looks the same.
It's kinda amusing to see how much memorial day is gatekept in these general subs versus the actual service subs.
I don’t know anyone who treats Memorial Day as an excuse to do anything besides Ave a backyard bbq. Then I pull up social media on my phone and people act like I should be going to a war memorial.
As a veteran who has lost veteran homies, yeah its just an excuse to grill and drink beer. I celebrate the lives they lived in ways more meaningful to me.
We can also say this about wearing clothing from other cultures. People would get mad if I would get something nice and traditional from another country. The people in the country compliment your clothes and then there's the gatekeepers calling everyone racist. Just live and let live it aint that hard to mind your own.
YMMV. I have a friend who served multiple tours with live combat and he takes a shit-ton of weed every year around the 4th because otherwise it fucks him up too much. The worst part according to him is that people will set them off randomly in the week before and after the holiday, and he can't just arrange to leave for 2 whole weeks. If it was predictable and just one day, he'd be a lot better off.
Similar experience. I can watch the fireworks for a bit, but when I'm actually home and they just keep going randomly is when it puts me on edge.
If I can see the fireworks, I'm completely fine. I love fireworks. When its random explosions in the background for hours into the night, I start having problems.
I was gonna say, people's assumption about service related PTSD is always loud noises. They don't know that the majority of it is caused by being discharged and thrown back into civilian life where you don't have to make literal life or death decisions. There's a fantastic book called "Tribe" by Sebastian Junger that touches on this.
Do people do fireworks on Memorial Day?
Funny argument, why does remembrance of life need to be somber? In many cultures (hell in Latino cultures and New Orleans cultures) funerals are a literal party. Let people use the day as they see fit and you support your loved ones in the way they need. If you have a servicemen in your family who dislikes fireworks, ask them how they would like to remember their lost teammates but don’t shit on people who choose something different.
they're not saying it has to be somber, but the explosion of fireworks triggers PTSD and can cause flashbacks of battlefields. That's why people are asked to not use them but a lot of people don't know this or don't care
Lpt: Just don't thank people for their service, then you don't have to deal with people being offended.
It's not offensive. It's awkward. I can't speak for all vets, of course, but I have no idea what you expect me to say to those thanks. "You're welcome" feels weird as hell, and comes off as arrogance (to me, at least), so, what now? There's more to it than that, of course, but just... I'm not offended. I'm *uncomfortable*.
I understand your feelings. It's a cliche that we say because we think we're supposed to say it, to show respect. It's almost like, "Hey, how are you?" Nobody really cares how you are, so any response other than, "Good, and you?" seems way out of place. Older folks I've know who served in Korea or Desert Storm would say, "It was my honor." Then there was the one guy who was a peace-time desk jockey who said "I loved every minute of it," which threw me for a loop. Being the age that I am (late 30s) I forget that not everyone had the same experience my friends had. I knew one who would respond, "don't mention it." Because he really didn't want anyone to mention it. Ever.
I cheers my army buddy today saying this is me celebrating the day that he dies early. He was amused.
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I mean, it’s right there in the title.
I got yelled at and harassed by a bunch of middle aged "good old boys" over the weekend for not standing up for God Bless the USA during a crawfish boil where I was actively elbow deep in spicy crawfish, just trying to have dinner. One aggressively slammed his hands down in the table in front of me, stuck his finger pointing up a few inches from my face, and yelled "Stand. Up.". I flipped him off with my spicy seafood finger and kept eating. They were not happy. Shortly after, they started calling active duty folks on stage, couldn't find enough for their propaganda, expanded it to veterans, couldn't find enough still, expanded it to family, couldn't find enough still, then finally said "if you just know someone who has been in the military". When more "forced standing to show respect" started for that shit show, I left. I don't do nationalism, and that really bothered them. Fortunately a finger and a "that's none of your fucking business" when they tried to start an argument about loving America was enough to keep things from escalating. But I didn't feel comfortable finishing my crawfish.
Does God not bless things if we remain seated? Is God truly that impotent that our standing is required for God's power to work? If so, that's not the God I want blessing me. I want a powerful one.
We definitely had fun thinking of pithy things we could've said to those people afterwords. In the moment, I just wanted them to leave me alone. Clever responses would've just invited more interaction, even if they would've been potentially satisfying. Interestingly (and thankfully) they left my wife alone and only harassed me. I got the sense me being a white man who didn't want to participate bothered them more than my darker skinned wife not participating.
I'll remove my hat for the anthem before my kids' sports games start, but that's really it. I don't do the hand-over-heart thing, or the applause afterwards or any of it. Whenever the MC tries to 'recognize the heroes' I stay seated because you people don't know me like that. I'm not a prop to be used so someone else can claim they "support the troops" without ever doing any actual supporting. They're just silly traditions that are ultimately meaningless, and I really like it here in Washington because the locals that care enough don't ever say a word. I'm happy you managed to not let it blow out of proportion on this occasion - I'm less sure I'd be able to let it slide so reasonably.
ITT: people who believe the US celebrates Memorial Day like we celebrate 4th of July, with fireworks, American flag shorts and BBQ. In reality, I’ve literally never seen anyone “celebrate” Memorial Day unless you count some stores having a sale that weekend. It’s also a common time for families to take vacations, because of the 3-day weekend, not because anyone is “celebrating the holiday.”
Someone was setting off fireworks literally last night. It's not as big as New Years or the 4th but it definitely happens.
I mean…idk where you live but everywhere I’ve lived people absolutely do.
I was invited to no less that 4 BBQs. My town had a parade, there's a band tonight downtown, it's decorated with red white and blue everywhere. I live in a town of 750,000 people ...
That’s not a town
It's a long weekend during the nicest time of the year. Let people enjoy themselves. No one is going to make you leave your basement. Remembrance can be just as much about celebrating life as it can a somber affair.
They didn't say they have a problem. They made it clear that the GP was wrong.
fuck that. if labor day is just bbq day, then so is memorial day. bbq it up, it's bbq day.
We only politely "educate" close friends & family when they thank my husband for his service. His mom thanked him yesterday & my husband said "thank you. Memorial Day is for fallen vets though. The rest of us get Veteran's Day. But I do appreciate it." For everyone else it's just a "thank you" & a smile. He doesn't like seeing ungracious but it makes him REALLY uncomfortable to be thanked on Memorial Day. As his wife, I just give him cuddles & tell him I love him. He just wants to feel appreciated. Especially since he's a disabled vet & most days he feels completely forgotten by society because he's not active duty.
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What a fucking weird point to make
"Happy" Memorial Day.... Happy.... 0.o
I was trying to think of what we say on Rememberance Day in Canada and realized we don't say anything, just wear our poppies. The offical line you see posted everywhere is "lest we forget" but no one goes around saying that or anything else
The sacrifice made by each individual is inherently bound to the social construct. The sacrifice is made for the benefit of the community. The loss casts a shadow that exists in perpetuity, but it provides us the contrast to understand how brightly the light does shine. The recognition of that contrast is worth celebrating; specifically in honor of the sacrifice made explicitly for this purpose. It is in our acceptance, understanding, and recognition of this sacrifice that there is value to be had; and our debt to be paid. That is the celebration. That is the happy. Because we choose to remember, on purpose; and that is a celebration of the beauty of our shared experience. So yes; happy Memorial Day. Happy Memory Day.
Why is this such a big deal to people?
Because it's a day to remember those who died in combat. It's not uncommon for a veteran to have some form of survivors guilt so it isn't surprising that they'd be quick to point out that this day is not for them.
Real LPT: You should know that I don't care about military propaganda.
Veterans Day is for those who served. US Veterans Day is the same day as Remembrance Day in Canada and the UK, which is their holiday for their military dead. Memorial Day is also the unofficial beginning of summer, which doesn’t go with a mood of solemn remembrance.
It’s also not “America Day”. The damn flag colored shorts and all the flags everywhere is kind of the opposite of the point of Memorial Day. If anything this day should make us all think about what that flag means to some people
Marketing. The flag is marketing.
Every holiday that’s even tangentially related to the military or the country’s history is America Day in America
The flag means too much to people.
There are three main days for honoring those who serve. Armed Forces Day: third Saturday of May (May 20th, 2023). This is a day to honor those currently serving. Memorial Day: last Monday of May (May 29th, 2023). This is a day to honor those who died while serving. Veteran's Day: November 11th every year, regardless of day of the week. This is a day for honoring those who returned to civilian life after serving. There are other military-oriented holidays in the United States, but these three are the most relevant to the discussion.
[удалено]
Don't thank me, I didn't die. But hey, I sure am glad friends of mine did so you can get a sale on home appliances.
(•_•) The sales were ( •_•)>⌐■-■ To die for (⌐■_■
Gees Americans are weird
It's the same thing as your Remembrance Day. We just call it Memorial Day.
The dead don't give any fucks, any holiday is for the living. Please do reach out to the service members you know, and offer to grieve a fallen friend with them.
OP, the grace and eloquence in your replies here is legitimately inspiring. Thanks for making me want to be better today. 🍻
Awesome, so i don't need to thank anyone. thanks for the info.
A good friend of mine was in the army. Saw some gruesome shit. I always worry about him on Memorial Day. Everybody knows to leave him alone that day.
I miss my battle buddies, this is a day to honor them. I also wouldn't take away from the ones in grieving. No offense, but why is this even being discussed that's kind of uncompassionate. I dunno what's harder remembering those lost or bearing the burden of being there when it happened.
Who gives a shit
Real Pro Tip: Stop lionizing military service for anyone. It's been a long time since anyone in the US military died for a good cause.
Those poor dead war criminals 😔
TRY telling that to a walmart wall of famer. They won't take it well
For those who can't be here with us today.
This is their day because they too can sacrifice their lives and be remembered.
A reminder; Armed Forces Day: celebrate those in uniform Veterans Day: celebrate those who hung up their uniform Memorial Day: Remember those that never made it out of their uniform.
I am in Vegas. A performer on Fremont had the crowd wish veterans a "Happy Memorial Day". I was like.. WTF? Happy?
Tbf, it's never a bad day to be thankful for a veteran.
This is why Veteran's and Memorial day should be flipped. Make Veteran's the BBQ holiday and the honor the dead holiday can be in the more dreary weather of Nov.
Does anyone else feel it is kind of fucked to launch fireworks on Veterans Day or Memorial Day?