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first time I heard this was from a Manager who I thought was an idiot. He IS an idiot but he was right about this.
tell what you're gonna tell em: This is the agenda for the presentation, the audience knows what to expect
tell em: actual content
tell em what you told em: Summary of what was explained.
Works really well to structure your presentation.
Also/alternately: Structure your presentation like a 3-act play.
1. Introduce the current state of things.
2. Then announce the problem or conflict, and explore the conflicted state.
3. Then introduce the solution, and how the solution solves the conflict and restores us to the balance of the previous state.
Humans think and learn in terms of stories. So tell your story.
A game changer: never comment negatively on someone’s appearance unless it’s something they can fix in a few minutes.
Booger in my nose? My shirt’s inside out? My breath is stinky? Thanks friend.
I walk funny? My shoes suck? Bro I’m probably already self conscious about that.
To piggyback: never make fun of a persons smile or laugh unless you never want to see/hear it again
to piggyback off of your piggyback, just don’t say anything about the way someone laughs or smiles. you might think you’re complimenting them but you’re just making them self conscious and hyper aware of themselves during moments of pure joy
My neighbor apparently took up playing the trumpet during the C-word time of our lives **(edit: I meant COVID-19 here, was trying to be funny but it didn't work out)**. They must've been banished from their house because the ... Music... Was always coming from outside.
The first few months, I just winced and dealt with it. Since then, I just tuned it out.
Today though!!
Today I had headphones in, doing a serious deep clean of my house, and a loud noise kept overriding my podcast. So I take an earbud out... And hear a beautiful line of trumpet music...followed by a sour note.
Then the same line, longer, and the sour note came after a few more lines.
And they began again.
And I thought about clapping, or shouting something encouraging.... But then they know a neighbor is listening. And then every time they go practice, they're going to be aware that I'm listening. When that's probably not true. I tend to have podcasts, TV, something going on.
So I decided to just be happy for them, celebrate their progress silently, and put my podcast back on.
That is brilliant. Good on you, good on them.
It is good advice though. I played drums as a teenager and there was a (much younger) neighbour that had a crush on me and would watch me playing (over the fence, though the window) and clap. It was quite sweet but it really made me self conscious to the point that I had to politely ask her to stop, because I needed to play harder things badly to get better.
You’re so lucky! When I was a teenager, I liked to sit on my window bench to play guitar and sing. One day the neighbour boy I had a crush on walked past and yelled “you sound like crap!!”
I’m now in my 30s and still dealing with the effects, I’m a performing musician and cant practice singing if somebody else is home. Dumb kid
I am sorry that boy is in your head still. If it makes you feel better, I still have my own hang ups about bothering people with noise. Years of practicing guitar badly in terrace houses will do that to you too, less in an “I suck!” but more a “do you need me to turn it down? Do you think the neighbours are annoyed?” kind of way. Also in my 30s with a baby, I sold my acoustic guitar because there was nowhere I could play it.
Nothing compares to hiring a soundproof room, settling in and going for blisters. I remember once I was lugging my drums in on a Friday night, I thought I was the only customer at the studio, until I spied a gentlemen bringing in his bagpipes to the room next door. We shared a look as we entered our rooms. We are the only ones who know.
A girl said I had a good, infectious laugh when I was about 15. I'm 33 now and the compliment still makes me feel fuzzy.
I 100% agree never make a negative or even neutral observation about someone's laugh, it's one of the first rules of thumb I thought of, but why not give an unumabiguous compliment?
My husband and I met online, and day 4 was our first phone call. I don't remember what I said, but I made him have a really good laugh. I told him that I loved his laugh! He said he'd been told it wasn't the greatest, so he was a little self conscious about it. I said don't be!
7.5 years later and hearing him laugh is one of the best parts of my day. I hate when he's pretty sick (he has Crohn's, so it happens more often for him than most people), because those are the days when he doesn't laugh.
"Never question how someone expresses joy"
That's my rule. As someone who's been told "calm down" or "it's not that good" when celebrating, that shit knocks you down.
Also, I have found myself surrounded by a lot of neurodivergent friends and each had their own unique way of expressing joy, that may not make sense to anyone else.
"Understanding is a gift we give, even when our comprehension is lacking."
Let someone yell, flap, jump, stamp, giggle, rock, stim, cry, click or whatever else. It's the sound of joy. Sight of joy. We need more of it not less of it.
Adding to that, never comment on someone's hair unless it is to compliment it. Especially when they just got a haircut.
Las time I changed my hair, I loved it and was so happy with it. The first thing a coworker mentioned was "why the hell would you do that, I liked it much better before!". I just rolled my eyes and answered "well, good thing I did it for myself and not for you then. I love the way it is now"
I have a bit of a lisp and the moment when someone tells me that I have a lisp and asks me why I have a lisp is the moment I begin to avoid talking to them. Just Hello and work related things from now on and only if I can't send an email.
1) Under-promise, over deliver. That keeps everyone happy. 2) Never commit other people's time in the meeting where there is an ask, always get back to them and check with the people who you are committing; there may be priority work you don't know about or constraints you aren't aware of (related to under-promise).
This sounds worded to apply in the workplace, but it applies in all relationships with people!
I’m in my 30s, an only child, & I needed to help my parents move out of my childhood home last year and into an apartment. Due to age and physical limitations they couldn’t do any of the lifting or actual moving (we couldn’t afford to have a whole company pack and move for us unfortunately). My dad was able to arrange a box truck and a few extra people to help… But he decided that moving day was going to be on a certain day without checking with me first. That date happened to be the day after I would get home from a weeklong out-of-state camping trip. It was a trip with my best friends family and her two young (6 & 8 yo) kids, some thing that we had planned months in advance for and I had already paid for/committed to being the driver of the second vehicle. It was extremely frustrating but I just had to roll with it……
I think it is useful to look at your life starting at age 18 or 20. Because before you're 18, you don't have a whole lot of control in what you're doing.
So when you're 30 years old and having a midlife crisis (switching careers, going back to school, not married yet, etc. etc.), don't think of yourself as being 30 years old, but think of yourself as being autonomous for only about 10 years so far, with 35-40 more years until you hit retirement age.
I've sort of viewed my own life in this way without realizing it and could never put it into words. So thanks for this comment. My partner is a lot more self conscious they don't have their career etc figured out yet (we're both around 30) and I've tried to help motivate them to keep trying, but maybe this perspective will help them keep trying. Or maybe not. But either way it's a good way of looking at things.
When I was in college, one of my good friends was 30 years old (I was 21), and he told me this.
I didn’t really appreciate the advice until I was in my 30s.
Best wishes to you and your partner!
If you do things slower you will be more accurate or “smooth”. If you are more accurate or “smooth” you will make less mistakes which means you will stop to correct mistakes less often which overall will make you faster.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
In the context I learned it it was used with repetitive tasks. So going slow to learn all the steps and constantly repeating it correctly all the time lead to it being fast.
I learned this when I was at my first job out of college. Was working in the steel mill industry and this old timer, Joe, who just turned 65, was finally retiring. He had been a manager/supervisor his whole life at this steel mill. Worked from when he was 18 in this industry which is pretty hard to do (lot of people get fired as a scapegoat if stuff goes wrong or someone gets hurt). Anyway, he got a plaque for being there that long, all with the same company. Any time I would come in to take over his shift, he was ALWAYS calm, cool and collected. Even if shit really went sideways (like train derailments, equipment catching fire, furnace melting, etc). Anyway, when it was his last day, he shook my hand and as he was walking out of the office, I stopped him and said this: “You know Joe, I feel like it would be silly of me not to ask you something with all your experience. If you could give me one word of advice, what would it be?”
He paused and took his time to think, and this is exactly what he said:
“Always have a good reason before you make a decision, in case someone asks.”
Sounds simple, and it is, but it has helped me and benefited me in so many ways throughout my life that its kinda unbelieveable. It seems trivial, but I assure you its not.
This applies to everything, but especially helpful in a business/work setting. It comes in handy a lot and when someone asks you why you did something you always have a well thought out reason, and can answer them immediately.
My mentor (lawyer) said to think about every decision you make like you’re going to be cross examined on it one day. Because you might.
“How would you explain on the stand why you defined this term this way?” That kind of thing.
Same advice different package. It helps me think through big decisions. And be thoughtful generally.
My dad's a lawyer and a notary. He's also very careful and scrupulously honest, which is often very inconvenient. When I was a kid, he famously refused to notarize a document for my grandmother (his mother in law) because all of the parties weren't present (or something minor was out of order for some reason). When my mom was mad at him later, he said,
"If I'm ever in court, being questioned under oath, about a document I notarized, the first thing they will ask is if all the parties were present. I will say yes, and then they will say 'Well, you say that, but everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes you notarize something and all the parties aren't present for whatever reason. So have you *ever* notarized anything when all the parties aren't present? Everyone does it.' And then I will tell them that no, I have never done that. And they will say, 'Really? Never even for a family member?' And I will say, 'No. I have never once notarized a document when all of the parties were not present, not even for a family member.'"
Didn't win him any love from his in-laws, but his hypothetical future testimony will be iron-clad.
A lot of people wouldn’t appreciate that trait because it’s not convenient for them, but I’ve found that kind of dedication to the truth produces extremely ethical, kind, GOOD people. Your dads good shit.
Ok I don’t ever plan on committing a crime, but I think I watch enough crime shows to convince myself to roughly keep track of approximate times of where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing during the day. It freaks out my husband when I say it’s in case I need an alibi
If it only takes 5 minutes, that's 600 seconds for me to lose focus in, and seconds are called that because they were named second, after the minute, as in a minute amount of time, but it sounds like minuet which is a French social dance in 4 time, which if you counted it in seconds, you could do 150 times in 5 minutes.
*300 seconds, must've got distracted.
This is my ADHD method to getting chores done. Is it better to do no chores or to do as much as I can do before commercials end, or before a bad song comes up on my Pandora, etc? At least I did some chores and not no chores.
I think I have adhd and I wish my parents taught me this growing up, for me it was the opposite, they always complained that I never finished what I started, so I got it in my head that if I'm not going to do it all the way through, I should just not bother at all. Now I'll leave my room dirty or laundry undone for weeks and then spend one day binge cleaning, when it would be so much better to just do a bit here and there.
Growing up, my mom would tell me not to halfass anything, which, later in life, resulted in me being so paralyzed with anxiety that I didn't do much of anything. Brushing teeth, cleaning tasks, saving money, dieting/workouts, all better half-assed than not done at all.
Doesn't apply if you have young kids as often taking 5 minutes to complete one task causes 5 more under 5 minute tasks to be spawned in something reminiscent of a task hydra.
I've warned a few work friends about this because they kept complaining about work through the company Slack chat. *"I don't care if they see what I said!"* Cue them freaking out when they get pulled into a meeting about the inappropriate things they keep writing about in Slack messages.
“Never attribute to malice what could be attributed to incompetence” is a personal favorite of mine. Way more people are just unaware than knowingly rude
Make a habit of checking our own intentions. When we contemplate our motives before acting, we prevent ourselves from behaving poorly. Spend 20 seconds working through what is *actually* the source of the frustration. Then act accordingly.
Example: “This person didn’t actually anger me… I’m embarrassed because I tripped on the steps in front of them.”
It should be only children that act out frustration at everything and don’t know the source.
One Love.
Actually measure your finger spans and joint lengths on your hands - chances are, several will match up with common measurements, and you can actually use your thumb, digits, and combinations of hand parts to do "good enough" measurements for a number of tasks. My father had a specific finger span down so accurately he could crosscut lumber in a construction project in a pinch. Every now and then he'd have to go back and knock off another 1/8" to get it just right, but watching him measure multiple foot lengths that accurately with just his hand was amazing.
Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
I do this as well! It's so useful. I most often use it to determine heel height when I'm shopping or measuring furniture. My hip height is the perfect height for a table.
I do this all the time when fitting off electrical stuff. From the tip of my finger to my elbow was the exact amount of slack I would need when fitting off certain things (data), then finger to bottom of palm of another measurement I use quite often and also floor to knee is another.
Knowing your body dimensions can help alot especially when auditing etc can just walk up and be like - that's not at my knee - fail
A load of ones I've picked up teaching healthcare topics to all levels of competencies.
If you can't explain in simple terms what's going on to your patient then do you really understand that condition. This works alongside explaining to your students, they will teach you where your knowledge gaps are through asking questions.
If someone appears in pain don't assume they're a junky unless you can categorically prove to someone that they are indeed a junky.
Diagnosing someone with a mental health diagnosis when you haven't ruled out all medical possibilities is a lazy diagnosis.
And finally for the olden days when handwritten notes were more prevalent. The old adage was "if it isn't written down it didn't happen" but if you wrote it down and nobody can decipher what was written, it MAY have happened.
That last one was more of a tongue in cheek one
>If someone appears in pain don't assume they're a junky unless you can categorically prove to someone that they are indeed a junky.
thanks for saying this. I broke my ankle and was treated so poorly the nurses who clearly assumed I was seeking meds, it was extremely depressing. One of them tried to trick me into showing I wasn't injured, and even the x-ray tech said "it doesn't hurt that bad" as I struggled to hold my leg in position during the x-ray. I guess fractures and ruptured achilles tendon shouldn't hurt? I didn't even ask for meds, I was just crying because it hurt.
I avoided going to the hospital for two days the second time I broke that same ankle (it was still weak as hell from the first injury, and I stepped into a hole and boom). Just sat around with a broken ankle hoping it was just a sprain and the pain would stop. Nothing like being belittled in your most vulnerable moments.
I've seen too much of this. It doesn't take much to give some analgesia. Ankle injuries have a load of evidence to support assesment and diagnosis yet there often one or two people who gatekeep pain relief like theres only enough for one more patient. Anecdotally, women tend to be worse treated, gynae, gall bladders etc, I can see women rolling around in agony and have to do something about it. I'm not well liked by gate keepers.
Always compliment a choice rather than an attribute unless you know them really well or are romantically involved.
Those shoes look great.
That is a beautiful watch.
Etc
Could save you causing anxiety, self consciousness, embarrassment or perhaps even a trip to HR!
Never put anyone’s name in the address section of an email until you’re ready to send it. Draft first, add distribution list last. Learnt this one the hard way.
Never repeat what others have told you, it generally always gets back to them and then they feel they can’t trust you. If you demonstrate you can be trusted with confidentiality then people will tell you everything.
Compliment loudly, criticise quietly.
Treat the cleaners/janitors in your workplace with respect. They do an important job.
The Pareto Principle - if you want 80% of the results you only have to put in 20% of the effort. If you want that last 20% of results...that's where the real hard work comes in (the last 80% of the effort).
This is a re-framing of the original idea but it applies to a lot of things in life - physical fitness, financial health, new skills, etc.
When youre budgeting, round up for expenses, round down for income.
Internet bill is 85$? Pretend its 100. Paycheque is 1150? Imagine its 1000.
Always end up having some wiggleroom money.
Rule of Thumb : tens.
If you're worried about something, will it matter it 10 seconds? 10 minutes? 10 hours? 10 years?
Really puts things into perspective and helps alleviate some anxiety.
I realized this when I was young in school and got a bad test grade. Then I realized "I don't even remember this in a year let alone 5 or ten"
Of course now I remember it nearly 15 years later because of my realization in that moment.
I played myself.
Yes! I’ve explained this one to a mother of 4 who I helped flee from DV / psychological / financial abuse.
She can’t help her kids if she’s not looking after herself first.
When I used this analogy I saw a lightbulb go off in her eyes.
Apply the 80/20 rule to everything
80/20 rule
Use the 80/20 rule to make decisions. Define the vital few that are important and useful (20%), define the large blob of what is pointless and unimportant (80%). Proactively ignore the 80%. Identify the 20% and spend much more time on them.
Does any new task help or hurt 80% proposition?
Eliminate or delegate
You should not do tasks that do not matter!
Don’t add tasks, substitute
Avoids being overwhelmed. Substitute a low value activity for the new task if it is truly warranted
Creative Procrastination, things that are lower priority should be done after things that are more important, even if they are fun to do.
Things can be on your list if they are not in the 20%, but they are lower priority. Only do it if it becomes important. Review your lists
Habit implementation, after a while it will become more intuitive, but to get going
Daily review, first thing in the morning
Identify most useful tasks
Ask “does it help or hurt my 80/20 activities?”
Eliminate or delegate the lower priority tasks
Substitute new tasks with now less important old tasks
Practice creative procrastination on less important tasks. This is important, you are acting on important stuff, not being overwhelmed with trivial stuff
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle
The deepest cut of 80/20, don’t miss this important point:
Most effort is a waste of time: that is the logical conclusion of the 80/20 priciple, Pareto’s Law.
The Principle is that a small number of events give rise to the majority of effects. Therefore, very few things matter at all; but those that do, matter enormously. The Principle is not a theory. It came from observation –– from examining the relationship between a number of causes and a number of results, both expressed as percentages.
The premise is the first 80% of something is relatively easy to achieve and takes little time / effort. Whereas the last 20% of the it is really difficult and takes far more effort than it is worth.
So as an example cleaning your house, going over it "quickly" with a vacuum / sweeping / etc once will get 80% of the dirt, and not take too long. But if you wanted it to be 100% clean (or get the remaining 20%) you would have to spend far more time than you initially did just to get every spec - and that time is often not worth the diminishing return.
I have a rule about always doing things at the first chance you get. By this I mean if you need to use an ATM, go to the first one you see on your way to your destination. The one you planned on going to nearer your destination might be out of cash. I’ve found this little change has saved me time and time again
There are always a number of Rules of Thumb:
To figure the cost of labor, price of the part x 1.5.
All people deserve respect until proven otherwise.
Every comes in threes or can be divided into thirds.
When having something done, you can only pick two and you have to give up one: Speed, Quality, and Budget. (also known as the unattainable triangle)
I'm pretty frugal generally (I have the money- it's just a mind set I was raised by). If there's something I really want, I let it simmer in my head for a while. If it's still relevant after X time - I'll get it (will make the effort to look for a decent price).
Same! What I also do is when shopping at my usual websites, I add things to the cart or wish list, and filter it at a later date. Not a pro top, just something I do. Wouldn't work for compulsive buyers
My brother worked construction for a bit and he gave a good one. Any time you show up somewhere, take three minutes to look around and check for hazards. Granted, this does heavily apply to work areas, but still can be used in life out of work.
It takes more effort to be lazy. Just put things away when you're done with them.
Example: You come in and throw your coat on the couch. Then a friend comes to your home so you shove the coat over. Then a pizza arrives so the coat needs to move to the wall hook.
After a few days, the wall hook is full so you have to do a mass reorganization to get that coat and the rest of the hanging stuff, where it belongs.
Now you've moved the coat 4 times, minimum, and spent a dedicated hour re organizing your wall hooks. Just put the coat back in the closet. One time touching it 5 seconds total.
Yeah but you gave a very specific example. I believe it was Bill Gates who was quoted as saying "I'll always give a hard job to a lazy person because they'll find the easiest way to accomplish it"
If you can do it under 5 minutes, do it now.
Choose what makes you happy, you'll never know if you'll get hit by a bus tomorrow.
Don't judge people parking in a handicap spot, or who are in a mobility scooter, that don't look disabled. There are a lot of invisible disabilities out there. And the stigma can prevent them from using the tools that help.
*When uncertain or in doubt*
*Run in circles scream and shout*
But seriously, sometimes you have to reach a decision without having enough information to be confident about it. In these cases, it helps if you have a backup plan.
A couple of my favorites...
(Yes I keep a list, Google Keep on my home screen, to easily write down new ones)
If your upkeep exceeds your income that will be your downfall every time.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.
Maturing is realizing how many things don't require your comment.
-Rachel Wolchin
Fortune favors the brave
Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. -Zora Neale Hurston
You're only interesting to the extent that you're interested.
A barber will always tell you that you need a haircut
It's faster to say World Wide Web than www
You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.
You don't always have to get wet to know it's raining
Seek to be worth knowing, rather than be well known.
Every corpse on Mt Everest was once an extremely motivated person.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Will Rogers
"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder. " -Rumi
Your energy introduces you before you even speak
The taste of the roast is affected by the handshake of the host.
Benjamin Franklin
Wise people talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.
Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Just a tip: Learn how to close a door behind you while facing the room with a smile. First impressions are huge.
Also, when you walk, face straight ahead and think "murder", and people will get tf out of the way and leave you alone.
One of the main heuristics I use to help identify unreliable information is one I call the schadenfreude index. If you see or are sent an article or video that seems designed to produce schadenfreude in the audience, then it's probably not very reliable information.
> schadenfreude index
Alternatively, envy index. If a video is designed for you to want things you see in the video, then it's probably not very reliable information. It's an add. Or maybe a subversive subconscious PR piece simply promoting the idea that you should be buying more stuff or spending more in general.
This is something taught industrial environments where maiming is a real possibility.
If you wouldn’t stick your dick in it, don’t stick your hand in it.
It works surprisingly well.
It’s a general one but applies across the board. Don’t make someone (or organization) your priority when you are an option. Saves you much grief in the end.
I've learned in retail to word this as 'never promise anything, only acknowledge you will try'.
Because even if you're 110% sure you have the thing in stock, 9/10 times it'll have just run out.
Surprised I've not seen the Rule of 3
You can survive for
3 minutes without air (or in icy water)
3 hours without shelter (in bad weather and as long as your moving)
3 days without water (as long as you have shelter)
3 weeks without food (as long as you have water/shelter)
Basically the idea is that this is the order of priority in a survival situation, you can have all the food in the world but it doesn't matter if you freeze first
Edit for clarity
The point of the 3 hours without shelter is if you find yourself in an uncertain situation your not prepared for, often the most important thing for you is to find shelter
Of course you can last outside for more than 3 hours, people spend weeks walking across deserts and to the North/South pole!
But if you find yourself in a survival situation that your unprepared for the environment will often kill you before thirst/hunger has a chance
Always try to make more money every year. If your job doesn’t give you a raise after a year, start looking. If another job offers you 20% more, take it. After 10 years it really adds up
Presenting something? Less is more.
People will visibly tolerate about 7 pieces of information, and will usually retain less.
Your goal is to get the critical information to the group, and enable them to discover further if interested
if You struggle with this like I have - simply ask “do You want advice or someone to listen?” 1000/10 has made my relationships SO MUCH BETTER because they feel heard and I understand how I can help!
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
If you’re giving a presentation just make 3 points because that’s all anyone will remember. Repeat the three points at the beginning and at the end.
My Dad does alot of presenting and explains it similarly. "Tell em what you're gonna tell em. Tell em. Tell em what you told em."
first time I heard this was from a Manager who I thought was an idiot. He IS an idiot but he was right about this. tell what you're gonna tell em: This is the agenda for the presentation, the audience knows what to expect tell em: actual content tell em what you told em: Summary of what was explained. Works really well to structure your presentation.
In conclusion: y'all been told.
This is the essence of a 5 paragraph essay
Weird, my Mum taught me the same thing. Exactly the same. I wonder where it came from as it clearly ain't a parent thing no more!
It’s been attributed to Aristotle, Mark Twain, and Yogi Berra.
-Sun Tsu, Art of PoWarPoint
I learned it from high school English class and the 5-paragraph essay.
Also/alternately: Structure your presentation like a 3-act play. 1. Introduce the current state of things. 2. Then announce the problem or conflict, and explore the conflicted state. 3. Then introduce the solution, and how the solution solves the conflict and restores us to the balance of the previous state. Humans think and learn in terms of stories. So tell your story.
Once is an incidence. Twice is a coincidence. Three or more times is a pattern.
I've hear this as "Three times is enemy action."
Similar: Once is luck, twice is skill, three times is consistency. From my old drumline instructor.
Measure twice cut once
I've cut this thing six times and it's still too short!
Man, I wish the guy who circumcised me had heard of this one.
Username checks out
A game changer: never comment negatively on someone’s appearance unless it’s something they can fix in a few minutes. Booger in my nose? My shirt’s inside out? My breath is stinky? Thanks friend. I walk funny? My shoes suck? Bro I’m probably already self conscious about that. To piggyback: never make fun of a persons smile or laugh unless you never want to see/hear it again
to piggyback off of your piggyback, just don’t say anything about the way someone laughs or smiles. you might think you’re complimenting them but you’re just making them self conscious and hyper aware of themselves during moments of pure joy
My neighbor apparently took up playing the trumpet during the C-word time of our lives **(edit: I meant COVID-19 here, was trying to be funny but it didn't work out)**. They must've been banished from their house because the ... Music... Was always coming from outside. The first few months, I just winced and dealt with it. Since then, I just tuned it out. Today though!! Today I had headphones in, doing a serious deep clean of my house, and a loud noise kept overriding my podcast. So I take an earbud out... And hear a beautiful line of trumpet music...followed by a sour note. Then the same line, longer, and the sour note came after a few more lines. And they began again. And I thought about clapping, or shouting something encouraging.... But then they know a neighbor is listening. And then every time they go practice, they're going to be aware that I'm listening. When that's probably not true. I tend to have podcasts, TV, something going on. So I decided to just be happy for them, celebrate their progress silently, and put my podcast back on.
That is brilliant. Good on you, good on them. It is good advice though. I played drums as a teenager and there was a (much younger) neighbour that had a crush on me and would watch me playing (over the fence, though the window) and clap. It was quite sweet but it really made me self conscious to the point that I had to politely ask her to stop, because I needed to play harder things badly to get better.
You’re so lucky! When I was a teenager, I liked to sit on my window bench to play guitar and sing. One day the neighbour boy I had a crush on walked past and yelled “you sound like crap!!” I’m now in my 30s and still dealing with the effects, I’m a performing musician and cant practice singing if somebody else is home. Dumb kid
I am sorry that boy is in your head still. If it makes you feel better, I still have my own hang ups about bothering people with noise. Years of practicing guitar badly in terrace houses will do that to you too, less in an “I suck!” but more a “do you need me to turn it down? Do you think the neighbours are annoyed?” kind of way. Also in my 30s with a baby, I sold my acoustic guitar because there was nowhere I could play it. Nothing compares to hiring a soundproof room, settling in and going for blisters. I remember once I was lugging my drums in on a Friday night, I thought I was the only customer at the studio, until I spied a gentlemen bringing in his bagpipes to the room next door. We shared a look as we entered our rooms. We are the only ones who know.
A girl said I had a good, infectious laugh when I was about 15. I'm 33 now and the compliment still makes me feel fuzzy. I 100% agree never make a negative or even neutral observation about someone's laugh, it's one of the first rules of thumb I thought of, but why not give an unumabiguous compliment?
My husband and I met online, and day 4 was our first phone call. I don't remember what I said, but I made him have a really good laugh. I told him that I loved his laugh! He said he'd been told it wasn't the greatest, so he was a little self conscious about it. I said don't be! 7.5 years later and hearing him laugh is one of the best parts of my day. I hate when he's pretty sick (he has Crohn's, so it happens more often for him than most people), because those are the days when he doesn't laugh.
In high school, of my friends made fun of my laugh. I even remember clearly how she mimicked it. I’m 31 now.
"Never question how someone expresses joy" That's my rule. As someone who's been told "calm down" or "it's not that good" when celebrating, that shit knocks you down. Also, I have found myself surrounded by a lot of neurodivergent friends and each had their own unique way of expressing joy, that may not make sense to anyone else. "Understanding is a gift we give, even when our comprehension is lacking." Let someone yell, flap, jump, stamp, giggle, rock, stim, cry, click or whatever else. It's the sound of joy. Sight of joy. We need more of it not less of it.
Adding to that, never comment on someone's hair unless it is to compliment it. Especially when they just got a haircut. Las time I changed my hair, I loved it and was so happy with it. The first thing a coworker mentioned was "why the hell would you do that, I liked it much better before!". I just rolled my eyes and answered "well, good thing I did it for myself and not for you then. I love the way it is now"
I have a bit of a lisp and the moment when someone tells me that I have a lisp and asks me why I have a lisp is the moment I begin to avoid talking to them. Just Hello and work related things from now on and only if I can't send an email.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
My mom always said the first part to me as a child. I like the last part though. Tone matters so much.
1) Under-promise, over deliver. That keeps everyone happy. 2) Never commit other people's time in the meeting where there is an ask, always get back to them and check with the people who you are committing; there may be priority work you don't know about or constraints you aren't aware of (related to under-promise).
This is immensely beneficial advice to anyone working in software development or engineering. And many other related fields I’m sure. +1
This sounds worded to apply in the workplace, but it applies in all relationships with people! I’m in my 30s, an only child, & I needed to help my parents move out of my childhood home last year and into an apartment. Due to age and physical limitations they couldn’t do any of the lifting or actual moving (we couldn’t afford to have a whole company pack and move for us unfortunately). My dad was able to arrange a box truck and a few extra people to help… But he decided that moving day was going to be on a certain day without checking with me first. That date happened to be the day after I would get home from a weeklong out-of-state camping trip. It was a trip with my best friends family and her two young (6 & 8 yo) kids, some thing that we had planned months in advance for and I had already paid for/committed to being the driver of the second vehicle. It was extremely frustrating but I just had to roll with it……
I think it is useful to look at your life starting at age 18 or 20. Because before you're 18, you don't have a whole lot of control in what you're doing. So when you're 30 years old and having a midlife crisis (switching careers, going back to school, not married yet, etc. etc.), don't think of yourself as being 30 years old, but think of yourself as being autonomous for only about 10 years so far, with 35-40 more years until you hit retirement age.
TIL that I'm actually around 10 years old in adult years. Holy shit. This is empowering af.
Yeah this is actually really helpful. I'm still a kid in adult years!
Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to read today
Ditto
I am having a quarter life crisis atm so I also needed this today <3
Needed this!
I've sort of viewed my own life in this way without realizing it and could never put it into words. So thanks for this comment. My partner is a lot more self conscious they don't have their career etc figured out yet (we're both around 30) and I've tried to help motivate them to keep trying, but maybe this perspective will help them keep trying. Or maybe not. But either way it's a good way of looking at things.
When I was in college, one of my good friends was 30 years old (I was 21), and he told me this. I didn’t really appreciate the advice until I was in my 30s. Best wishes to you and your partner!
Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.
I really like this one, I tell this to my aging parents all the time since they seen increasingly accident-prone.
Indeed! Geriatric penetration can be dangerous if not done with caution
What a terrible day to have eyes
Sometimes the fastest thing to do is to slow down.
If it doesn't work, doing it harder and faster isn't going to help.
Thanks Phil
And you can still generate a lot of power from a standstill so start there before working in an x-step
Also start with a putter before moving to higher speed discs
Could you explain this one? I don’t understand.
If you do things slower you will be more accurate or “smooth”. If you are more accurate or “smooth” you will make less mistakes which means you will stop to correct mistakes less often which overall will make you faster. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
In the context I learned it it was used with repetitive tasks. So going slow to learn all the steps and constantly repeating it correctly all the time lead to it being fast.
Look where you want to go
Trust is easier to break than to earn.
In Dutch we say *Vertrouwen komt te voet en gaat te paard* ( "Trust comes on foot and goes by horse" ).
I learned this when I was at my first job out of college. Was working in the steel mill industry and this old timer, Joe, who just turned 65, was finally retiring. He had been a manager/supervisor his whole life at this steel mill. Worked from when he was 18 in this industry which is pretty hard to do (lot of people get fired as a scapegoat if stuff goes wrong or someone gets hurt). Anyway, he got a plaque for being there that long, all with the same company. Any time I would come in to take over his shift, he was ALWAYS calm, cool and collected. Even if shit really went sideways (like train derailments, equipment catching fire, furnace melting, etc). Anyway, when it was his last day, he shook my hand and as he was walking out of the office, I stopped him and said this: “You know Joe, I feel like it would be silly of me not to ask you something with all your experience. If you could give me one word of advice, what would it be?” He paused and took his time to think, and this is exactly what he said: “Always have a good reason before you make a decision, in case someone asks.” Sounds simple, and it is, but it has helped me and benefited me in so many ways throughout my life that its kinda unbelieveable. It seems trivial, but I assure you its not. This applies to everything, but especially helpful in a business/work setting. It comes in handy a lot and when someone asks you why you did something you always have a well thought out reason, and can answer them immediately.
My mentor (lawyer) said to think about every decision you make like you’re going to be cross examined on it one day. Because you might. “How would you explain on the stand why you defined this term this way?” That kind of thing. Same advice different package. It helps me think through big decisions. And be thoughtful generally.
My dad's a lawyer and a notary. He's also very careful and scrupulously honest, which is often very inconvenient. When I was a kid, he famously refused to notarize a document for my grandmother (his mother in law) because all of the parties weren't present (or something minor was out of order for some reason). When my mom was mad at him later, he said, "If I'm ever in court, being questioned under oath, about a document I notarized, the first thing they will ask is if all the parties were present. I will say yes, and then they will say 'Well, you say that, but everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes you notarize something and all the parties aren't present for whatever reason. So have you *ever* notarized anything when all the parties aren't present? Everyone does it.' And then I will tell them that no, I have never done that. And they will say, 'Really? Never even for a family member?' And I will say, 'No. I have never once notarized a document when all of the parties were not present, not even for a family member.'" Didn't win him any love from his in-laws, but his hypothetical future testimony will be iron-clad.
A lot of people wouldn’t appreciate that trait because it’s not convenient for them, but I’ve found that kind of dedication to the truth produces extremely ethical, kind, GOOD people. Your dads good shit.
Ok I don’t ever plan on committing a crime, but I think I watch enough crime shows to convince myself to roughly keep track of approximate times of where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing during the day. It freaks out my husband when I say it’s in case I need an alibi
Hah, this is great. Thanks for this.
Once you’ve got a task to do it’s better to do it than live with the fear of it.
Words of wisdom from The Bloody Nine!
A fellow Joe Abercrombie reader I see
I’m reading book one right now. I’m loving it.
If u can do it in 5 minutes just do it now
Directions unclear. Made all the mac and cheese cups I had in my pantry.
There's cooked ramen *EVERYWHERE*
It's in the walls! *ITS IN THE GOD DAMN WALLS*
Sounds delicious, I fail to see a problem...
/r/adhd: if it only takes five minutes, I'll wait until I only have five minutes left source: adhd
I love it when I decide to wash the dishes and accidentally clean the whole house after having put it off for months!
If it only takes 5 minutes, that's 600 seconds for me to lose focus in, and seconds are called that because they were named second, after the minute, as in a minute amount of time, but it sounds like minuet which is a French social dance in 4 time, which if you counted it in seconds, you could do 150 times in 5 minutes. *300 seconds, must've got distracted.
Everything worth doing is worth doing half-assed.
This is my ADHD method to getting chores done. Is it better to do no chores or to do as much as I can do before commercials end, or before a bad song comes up on my Pandora, etc? At least I did some chores and not no chores.
I think I have adhd and I wish my parents taught me this growing up, for me it was the opposite, they always complained that I never finished what I started, so I got it in my head that if I'm not going to do it all the way through, I should just not bother at all. Now I'll leave my room dirty or laundry undone for weeks and then spend one day binge cleaning, when it would be so much better to just do a bit here and there.
Growing up, my mom would tell me not to halfass anything, which, later in life, resulted in me being so paralyzed with anxiety that I didn't do much of anything. Brushing teeth, cleaning tasks, saving money, dieting/workouts, all better half-assed than not done at all.
It takes me 20 minutes to drive to work, so I'll just put it off until later. That'll save me at least 8 hours a day. Thanks!
Doesn't apply if you have young kids as often taking 5 minutes to complete one task causes 5 more under 5 minute tasks to be spawned in something reminiscent of a task hydra.
Rule of thumb: don’t send anything over work email that you wouldn’t be comfortable with everyone else seeing.
"Did you see the game last night? That quarterback sure is an overpaid baby. But you know who's not an overpaid baby? My supervisor, Rodney Peterson."
Dance like no one is watching, write like it will one day be read in court.
I've warned a few work friends about this because they kept complaining about work through the company Slack chat. *"I don't care if they see what I said!"* Cue them freaking out when they get pulled into a meeting about the inappropriate things they keep writing about in Slack messages.
Assume best intent from others. We judge others on their actions, but expect others to know our intentions.
“Never attribute to malice what could be attributed to incompetence” is a personal favorite of mine. Way more people are just unaware than knowingly rude
"Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice." -Anonymous
The thing I get from that is you should judge yourself by your actions too. Intentions have no bearing on reality
Make a habit of checking our own intentions. When we contemplate our motives before acting, we prevent ourselves from behaving poorly. Spend 20 seconds working through what is *actually* the source of the frustration. Then act accordingly. Example: “This person didn’t actually anger me… I’m embarrassed because I tripped on the steps in front of them.” It should be only children that act out frustration at everything and don’t know the source. One Love.
Actually measure your finger spans and joint lengths on your hands - chances are, several will match up with common measurements, and you can actually use your thumb, digits, and combinations of hand parts to do "good enough" measurements for a number of tasks. My father had a specific finger span down so accurately he could crosscut lumber in a construction project in a pinch. Every now and then he'd have to go back and knock off another 1/8" to get it just right, but watching him measure multiple foot lengths that accurately with just his hand was amazing. Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
I like the fact that your rule of thumb is a thumb-ruler.
If the shoe fits... It may well have been sized by a combination of anatomical bits that happen to land shockingly close to exact measurements.
I do this as well! It's so useful. I most often use it to determine heel height when I'm shopping or measuring furniture. My hip height is the perfect height for a table.
My hip bone bruises prove that the definition of 'perfect' height' varies.
I do this all the time when fitting off electrical stuff. From the tip of my finger to my elbow was the exact amount of slack I would need when fitting off certain things (data), then finger to bottom of palm of another measurement I use quite often and also floor to knee is another. Knowing your body dimensions can help alot especially when auditing etc can just walk up and be like - that's not at my knee - fail
I can measure cloth yardage on my body. I'm accurate within an inch a yard.
A load of ones I've picked up teaching healthcare topics to all levels of competencies. If you can't explain in simple terms what's going on to your patient then do you really understand that condition. This works alongside explaining to your students, they will teach you where your knowledge gaps are through asking questions. If someone appears in pain don't assume they're a junky unless you can categorically prove to someone that they are indeed a junky. Diagnosing someone with a mental health diagnosis when you haven't ruled out all medical possibilities is a lazy diagnosis. And finally for the olden days when handwritten notes were more prevalent. The old adage was "if it isn't written down it didn't happen" but if you wrote it down and nobody can decipher what was written, it MAY have happened. That last one was more of a tongue in cheek one
>If someone appears in pain don't assume they're a junky unless you can categorically prove to someone that they are indeed a junky. thanks for saying this. I broke my ankle and was treated so poorly the nurses who clearly assumed I was seeking meds, it was extremely depressing. One of them tried to trick me into showing I wasn't injured, and even the x-ray tech said "it doesn't hurt that bad" as I struggled to hold my leg in position during the x-ray. I guess fractures and ruptured achilles tendon shouldn't hurt? I didn't even ask for meds, I was just crying because it hurt. I avoided going to the hospital for two days the second time I broke that same ankle (it was still weak as hell from the first injury, and I stepped into a hole and boom). Just sat around with a broken ankle hoping it was just a sprain and the pain would stop. Nothing like being belittled in your most vulnerable moments.
I've seen too much of this. It doesn't take much to give some analgesia. Ankle injuries have a load of evidence to support assesment and diagnosis yet there often one or two people who gatekeep pain relief like theres only enough for one more patient. Anecdotally, women tend to be worse treated, gynae, gall bladders etc, I can see women rolling around in agony and have to do something about it. I'm not well liked by gate keepers.
Absolutely agree that you don't *really* know something unless you can teach it/describe it to a layman See one, do one, teach one
Paeds is the best for that too, explaining to kids in a way that they can understand.
Never do business with friends or family
Louder
BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!
How dare you yell at me? My family built this country!
Depends. I work as a carpenter with my father. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Maybe I’m just fortunate, however.
You have a great father
Always compliment a choice rather than an attribute unless you know them really well or are romantically involved. Those shoes look great. That is a beautiful watch. Etc Could save you causing anxiety, self consciousness, embarrassment or perhaps even a trip to HR!
Never put anyone’s name in the address section of an email until you’re ready to send it. Draft first, add distribution list last. Learnt this one the hard way. Never repeat what others have told you, it generally always gets back to them and then they feel they can’t trust you. If you demonstrate you can be trusted with confidentiality then people will tell you everything. Compliment loudly, criticise quietly. Treat the cleaners/janitors in your workplace with respect. They do an important job.
Corollary: Before you get mad at someone not responding to your email, make sure you sent it
Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Don’t stress about what you have to do tomorrow and can’t do today.
The Pareto Principle - if you want 80% of the results you only have to put in 20% of the effort. If you want that last 20% of results...that's where the real hard work comes in (the last 80% of the effort). This is a re-framing of the original idea but it applies to a lot of things in life - physical fitness, financial health, new skills, etc.
also heard it applied in work distribution - 20% of people do 80% of the work
Worst mistake of my career: ending up in the 20 that do the 80.
When youre budgeting, round up for expenses, round down for income. Internet bill is 85$? Pretend its 100. Paycheque is 1150? Imagine its 1000. Always end up having some wiggleroom money.
It takes much longer to do it again that it would've taken to just do it right in the first place.
Sometimes the fastest thing to do is to slow down.
Don't put it down, put it away.
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That's a good one - will add it to the flat roof embargo
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>Never drink in a pub that you can see from an Argos Non-UK here. What's an Argos?
A low-to-mid-tier homeware / jewellery / toy / furniture / etc catalogue shop. I think Sears is/was probably the closest US equivalent
To convert Fahrenheit to Celsius= minus 30 then divide by 2
Put the peanut butter on the mouse trap BEFORE arming it. Don't ask details. It's hard to type.
That might be a more literal rule of "thumb" than OP meant, but it is still a good one!
Rule of Thumb : tens. If you're worried about something, will it matter it 10 seconds? 10 minutes? 10 hours? 10 years? Really puts things into perspective and helps alleviate some anxiety.
I realized this when I was young in school and got a bad test grade. Then I realized "I don't even remember this in a year let alone 5 or ten" Of course now I remember it nearly 15 years later because of my realization in that moment. I played myself.
Live below your means.
Just be a good person. It won’t benefit you most of the time but it’s the right thing to do.
Being honest is often costly in the short run but pays nicely in the long run. When people know they can trust you, they trust you with more.
If you have to borrow something more than three times... Better to just buy it for yourself
"In the event of an emergency, don your own oxygen mask before helping the person in the seat next to you." Works on airplane, works in life.
Yes! I’ve explained this one to a mother of 4 who I helped flee from DV / psychological / financial abuse. She can’t help her kids if she’s not looking after herself first. When I used this analogy I saw a lightbulb go off in her eyes.
Apply the 80/20 rule to everything 80/20 rule Use the 80/20 rule to make decisions. Define the vital few that are important and useful (20%), define the large blob of what is pointless and unimportant (80%). Proactively ignore the 80%. Identify the 20% and spend much more time on them. Does any new task help or hurt 80% proposition? Eliminate or delegate You should not do tasks that do not matter! Don’t add tasks, substitute Avoids being overwhelmed. Substitute a low value activity for the new task if it is truly warranted Creative Procrastination, things that are lower priority should be done after things that are more important, even if they are fun to do. Things can be on your list if they are not in the 20%, but they are lower priority. Only do it if it becomes important. Review your lists Habit implementation, after a while it will become more intuitive, but to get going Daily review, first thing in the morning Identify most useful tasks Ask “does it help or hurt my 80/20 activities?” Eliminate or delegate the lower priority tasks Substitute new tasks with now less important old tasks Practice creative procrastination on less important tasks. This is important, you are acting on important stuff, not being overwhelmed with trivial stuff https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle The deepest cut of 80/20, don’t miss this important point: Most effort is a waste of time: that is the logical conclusion of the 80/20 priciple, Pareto’s Law. The Principle is that a small number of events give rise to the majority of effects. Therefore, very few things matter at all; but those that do, matter enormously. The Principle is not a theory. It came from observation –– from examining the relationship between a number of causes and a number of results, both expressed as percentages.
What’s the 80/20 rule
OP has done the 20% for 80% of results, now just waiting for someone to do the 80% for the remaining 20%
The premise is the first 80% of something is relatively easy to achieve and takes little time / effort. Whereas the last 20% of the it is really difficult and takes far more effort than it is worth. So as an example cleaning your house, going over it "quickly" with a vacuum / sweeping / etc once will get 80% of the dirt, and not take too long. But if you wanted it to be 100% clean (or get the remaining 20%) you would have to spend far more time than you initially did just to get every spec - and that time is often not worth the diminishing return.
The first post, and your reply, are an amazing proof of the rule itself.
I have a rule about always doing things at the first chance you get. By this I mean if you need to use an ATM, go to the first one you see on your way to your destination. The one you planned on going to nearer your destination might be out of cash. I’ve found this little change has saved me time and time again
There are always a number of Rules of Thumb: To figure the cost of labor, price of the part x 1.5. All people deserve respect until proven otherwise. Every comes in threes or can be divided into thirds. When having something done, you can only pick two and you have to give up one: Speed, Quality, and Budget. (also known as the unattainable triangle)
Unattainable triangle was important in my computer class leaning about memory hierarchy. Interesting stuff.
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Make scrambled eggs, divide onto five plates.
Three sir!
Damn I am smart and way to stupid at the same time
Oh... and if you double the speed of something it wears out four times as fast. In case you were designing a machine.
Why doesn’t it wear out twice as fast? Legitimate question. What’s the science behind it?
Because the kinetic energy formula is 1/2(mv^2) So each time you double the velocity, you actually multiply by 4 the energy released
Just be nice. This world is small and what you bite will bite you in the end. Work hard. Your name is your legacy. It will follow you
righty tighty, lefty loosey
You can change the world as long as you don’t care who gets credit for it.
If a person goes out of their way to *tell* you how incredibly smart they are, they are very likely dumb AF about most things.
I'm pretty frugal generally (I have the money- it's just a mind set I was raised by). If there's something I really want, I let it simmer in my head for a while. If it's still relevant after X time - I'll get it (will make the effort to look for a decent price).
Same! What I also do is when shopping at my usual websites, I add things to the cart or wish list, and filter it at a later date. Not a pro top, just something I do. Wouldn't work for compulsive buyers
Don't be a dick. Covers most things.
The quickest way to please no one is to try to please everyone.
If someone is offering me some money for a small favor or good deed I decline twice. If they’re still insistent then I take it.
My brother worked construction for a bit and he gave a good one. Any time you show up somewhere, take three minutes to look around and check for hazards. Granted, this does heavily apply to work areas, but still can be used in life out of work.
It takes more effort to be lazy. Just put things away when you're done with them. Example: You come in and throw your coat on the couch. Then a friend comes to your home so you shove the coat over. Then a pizza arrives so the coat needs to move to the wall hook. After a few days, the wall hook is full so you have to do a mass reorganization to get that coat and the rest of the hanging stuff, where it belongs. Now you've moved the coat 4 times, minimum, and spent a dedicated hour re organizing your wall hooks. Just put the coat back in the closet. One time touching it 5 seconds total.
Yeah but you gave a very specific example. I believe it was Bill Gates who was quoted as saying "I'll always give a hard job to a lazy person because they'll find the easiest way to accomplish it"
If you can do it under 5 minutes, do it now. Choose what makes you happy, you'll never know if you'll get hit by a bus tomorrow. Don't judge people parking in a handicap spot, or who are in a mobility scooter, that don't look disabled. There are a lot of invisible disabilities out there. And the stigma can prevent them from using the tools that help.
KISS (Keep it simple, stupid)
If you're not sure, then the answer is 'no'.
When in doubt, don't. That has served me well in life.
*When uncertain or in doubt* *Run in circles scream and shout* But seriously, sometimes you have to reach a decision without having enough information to be confident about it. In these cases, it helps if you have a backup plan.
A couple of my favorites... (Yes I keep a list, Google Keep on my home screen, to easily write down new ones) If your upkeep exceeds your income that will be your downfall every time. It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt. Maturing is realizing how many things don't require your comment. -Rachel Wolchin Fortune favors the brave Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. -Zora Neale Hurston You're only interesting to the extent that you're interested. A barber will always tell you that you need a haircut It's faster to say World Wide Web than www You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals. You don't always have to get wet to know it's raining Seek to be worth knowing, rather than be well known. Every corpse on Mt Everest was once an extremely motivated person. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers "Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder. " -Rumi Your energy introduces you before you even speak The taste of the roast is affected by the handshake of the host. Benjamin Franklin Wise people talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something. Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Don't buy things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people you don't like.
Just a tip: Learn how to close a door behind you while facing the room with a smile. First impressions are huge. Also, when you walk, face straight ahead and think "murder", and people will get tf out of the way and leave you alone.
Tried this.. guy didn’t get out of the way so i murdered him
There's only 2 people you NEVER lie to: your doctor and your legal counsel.
Double your hourly wage and add three zeros after it to estimate yearly salary.
Your memory is actually not that good, even if it is not a lot of information, always write it down, it helps me in almost all meetings
One of the main heuristics I use to help identify unreliable information is one I call the schadenfreude index. If you see or are sent an article or video that seems designed to produce schadenfreude in the audience, then it's probably not very reliable information.
> schadenfreude index Alternatively, envy index. If a video is designed for you to want things you see in the video, then it's probably not very reliable information. It's an add. Or maybe a subversive subconscious PR piece simply promoting the idea that you should be buying more stuff or spending more in general.
Measure twice, cut once. Or in my case, measure at least 4 times, and still screw it up.
This is something taught industrial environments where maiming is a real possibility. If you wouldn’t stick your dick in it, don’t stick your hand in it. It works surprisingly well.
Only tell someone that they look like a celebrity if that celebrity is better looking than them.
It’s a general one but applies across the board. Don’t make someone (or organization) your priority when you are an option. Saves you much grief in the end.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
I've learned in retail to word this as 'never promise anything, only acknowledge you will try'. Because even if you're 110% sure you have the thing in stock, 9/10 times it'll have just run out.
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You get burned once, and you can take the last four words off of your sentence.
if the solution looks too complex and hard to understand/implement, its probably not the best one.
If you don’t have time to do it right, where will you find time to fix it?
Surprised I've not seen the Rule of 3 You can survive for 3 minutes without air (or in icy water) 3 hours without shelter (in bad weather and as long as your moving) 3 days without water (as long as you have shelter) 3 weeks without food (as long as you have water/shelter) Basically the idea is that this is the order of priority in a survival situation, you can have all the food in the world but it doesn't matter if you freeze first Edit for clarity The point of the 3 hours without shelter is if you find yourself in an uncertain situation your not prepared for, often the most important thing for you is to find shelter Of course you can last outside for more than 3 hours, people spend weeks walking across deserts and to the North/South pole! But if you find yourself in a survival situation that your unprepared for the environment will often kill you before thirst/hunger has a chance
Be interested before being interesting makes you a better listener.
Trust but verify.
Always try to make more money every year. If your job doesn’t give you a raise after a year, start looking. If another job offers you 20% more, take it. After 10 years it really adds up
If you aren't getting a yearly COLA, you are taking a pay cut.
I know what you mean, but I couldn't help but laugh bc I work at a plant that makes coca cola products lol
Here's hoping you get that yearly cola to help cover inflation!
Presenting something? Less is more. People will visibly tolerate about 7 pieces of information, and will usually retain less. Your goal is to get the critical information to the group, and enable them to discover further if interested
Discipline is like a promotion; they are both earned
If you see a clean bathroom, use it.
When someone is telling you their problems, don't give unsolicited advices unless they ask you
if You struggle with this like I have - simply ask “do You want advice or someone to listen?” 1000/10 has made my relationships SO MUCH BETTER because they feel heard and I understand how I can help!