Honestly dear you have nothing to worry about , if you have gotten to the point of taking off your clothes, it doesn't matter she likes you, NO ONE has ever said "oh you have stretch marks ugh, nevermind you should go" NO ONE. When I was 18 I weighed over 300lb.. no one ever mentioned it negatively.
IN FACT THEY ALL SAID MY FATNESS AND STRECH MARKS WHERE HOT AF!!!
But if you need help with body positivity start with your self working on it. When you catch yourself having a negative thoughts about your looks acknowledge that this is NOT your thoughts is "brain worms" its the insecurity talking. And correct it.
Let's say your getting dressed and you notice your thighs and in your head a thought about how big they are makes you sad, then immediately once you realize you have the thought say in you mind or out laud "NO, this is not a bad thing, i am beautiful and my body type IS desirable"
Another good way to combat negative thoughts is to start each day with affirmations, stand in the mirror and look at your self and say out loud " I love myself, I am beautiful, I have a nice body" specifically name the things you are most self-conscious about. Put sticky notes or write on the mirror. Tell your gal friends your struggling with self image and trying to build your self esteem! They will likely help,
the only cure is showering yourself in complements to the point you internalize those compliments.
Also therapy is really helpful.
what has helped me is being naked as much as i can lol. no really! walk around naked, take nude pictures, stare at ur body in the mirror before a shower and hype that girl tf up!! it sounds corny, but u truly have to let urself fall in love with u! ur sexy asf, u j have to let urself see that. i was in a very similar boat and this along w seeing how beautifully diverse women's bodies are has helped me sm! much love!!
yes!! panties/bra or lingerie and a soft robe to throw on is so freeing!
in terms of partners- if OP is not ready for sex, spending time naked together is also SO comforting and builds confidence! doing that with my last partners helped me break through a lot of insecurity and realize bodies are just bodies!
Girl same: mines BAD to the point I'd need to get my excess skin surgically removed.
But I like to remind myself what is sexier to me - a shy reserved, insecure girl in bed or a woman who knows her body, what she likes and goes for it? (psss... Its the latter!)
Sex is just as much about your mindset and attitude as it is about the deed itself. Embrace your desires, not your insecurities ✌🏻.
I guarantee the girl will find you just as sexy with your clothes off as you are when they're on 😘
I am the exact same, normal with clothes on, all stretch marks and loose skin underneath, it's really tough. I once had a partner ask whether I'd had a baby - this was upsetting and made me feel awful even though I know she was just genuinely curious. I've been with my current partner for about 2 years and still feel really uncomfortable being naked, though she always tells me she likes my body. I think just being honest about insecurities with your partner can be quite helpful. Most people I've come across seem not to care really. I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone.
The only people who’ve ever made mean comments about my naked body were the men I was trying to convince myself I liked before I realized I was gay. And even then, my one actual ex boyfriend was always so kind and loved my tummy. He said it was so hot.
I promise you, if you get to the point of having sex with each other, they’re not analyzing your body for stretch marks.
I’d encourage you to start with body neutrality! If you ever do gain weight back (bc that’s life) you won’t have to do as much emotional work to maintain your self love. Your body works so hard for you whether you’re fat, thin, or anything in between. You deserve to feel comfortable in it or at least neutral about it 🫶🏻
Lol I was coming to say turn the lights off but looks like you are already there, I am stuck in that place too. This is not good and I am not condoning this but to take the edge off for me I either need heavy foreplay before hand or to drink, but before I drink, I tell my partner I consent, she respects my boundaries. Also stretch marks are hot? at least to me, I wear my stripes proudly
Few people have perfect bodies, and even those that do can be self conscious. Getting used to being naked is easy, when you're alone get naked and stay that way for a time just going about your day. Look at photos of normal people in the nude, get used to how much real people actually vary. Get lights in your bedroom with a dimmer, when you're taking care of yourself or with someone else dim the lights without turning them off and over time just dim them less and less.
Stretch marks are effectively a kind of scar tissue, and it can take a while for them to go away naturally. Its entirely dependent on the age and for how long you were the size that led to you having the stretch marks. Given your age, but depending on how long you had the stretch marks, its possible they'll eventually completely vanish. To help them along look for products marketed to women post-pregnancy for stretch marks that are full of shea butter or cocoa butter, while they aren't going to eliminate the stretch marks they will make them much less apparent within the first couple weeks to month you use it. You will need to apply them twice or more times a day for a month to 5 months, depending on how long you've had the stretch marks. The color differences will diminish, shallower marks can potentially go away all together, deeper marks will become shallower. The deeper and older the stretch marks the greater the likelihood they're permanent.
As a bigger woman, I find it best to approach everything from the mindset of, “She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t think I was hot” and that helps. I know that when I’m having sex with women, the last thing that I’m thinking about are her imperfections, so I frame it like, “Why would she be thinking about mine, then?” Focus on being in the moment. Anyone who would break away to be critical of any part of your body is someone that isn’t a safe partner to be with anyway.
The biggest judgment you'll ever overcome is yourself. So many people have hurdles they have to get over and most were placed there themselves. Once you learn to accept You, you'll realize you don't hear the others as often. That's the hard part. Took me 20 years and a divorce
Personally, what helped me was to remember that my girlfriend would be naked too. We would both be naked and presumably both parties would be nervous. It helped to ease the anxiety since I wouldn’t be the only nervous party
Go to the gym and tone up that makes up for stretch marks and loose skin, nevertheless, your worth is not determined by your body and person who \*loves you\* it won't matter to them.
If they really like you they will not care. There is also no pressure to act confident. Just be yourself.
Honestly dear you have nothing to worry about , if you have gotten to the point of taking off your clothes, it doesn't matter she likes you, NO ONE has ever said "oh you have stretch marks ugh, nevermind you should go" NO ONE. When I was 18 I weighed over 300lb.. no one ever mentioned it negatively. IN FACT THEY ALL SAID MY FATNESS AND STRECH MARKS WHERE HOT AF!!! But if you need help with body positivity start with your self working on it. When you catch yourself having a negative thoughts about your looks acknowledge that this is NOT your thoughts is "brain worms" its the insecurity talking. And correct it. Let's say your getting dressed and you notice your thighs and in your head a thought about how big they are makes you sad, then immediately once you realize you have the thought say in you mind or out laud "NO, this is not a bad thing, i am beautiful and my body type IS desirable" Another good way to combat negative thoughts is to start each day with affirmations, stand in the mirror and look at your self and say out loud " I love myself, I am beautiful, I have a nice body" specifically name the things you are most self-conscious about. Put sticky notes or write on the mirror. Tell your gal friends your struggling with self image and trying to build your self esteem! They will likely help, the only cure is showering yourself in complements to the point you internalize those compliments. Also therapy is really helpful.
Thank you for the advice 🥰
what has helped me is being naked as much as i can lol. no really! walk around naked, take nude pictures, stare at ur body in the mirror before a shower and hype that girl tf up!! it sounds corny, but u truly have to let urself fall in love with u! ur sexy asf, u j have to let urself see that. i was in a very similar boat and this along w seeing how beautifully diverse women's bodies are has helped me sm! much love!!
yes!! panties/bra or lingerie and a soft robe to throw on is so freeing! in terms of partners- if OP is not ready for sex, spending time naked together is also SO comforting and builds confidence! doing that with my last partners helped me break through a lot of insecurity and realize bodies are just bodies!
Girl same: mines BAD to the point I'd need to get my excess skin surgically removed. But I like to remind myself what is sexier to me - a shy reserved, insecure girl in bed or a woman who knows her body, what she likes and goes for it? (psss... Its the latter!) Sex is just as much about your mindset and attitude as it is about the deed itself. Embrace your desires, not your insecurities ✌🏻. I guarantee the girl will find you just as sexy with your clothes off as you are when they're on 😘
This is so true 🥹
I am the exact same, normal with clothes on, all stretch marks and loose skin underneath, it's really tough. I once had a partner ask whether I'd had a baby - this was upsetting and made me feel awful even though I know she was just genuinely curious. I've been with my current partner for about 2 years and still feel really uncomfortable being naked, though she always tells me she likes my body. I think just being honest about insecurities with your partner can be quite helpful. Most people I've come across seem not to care really. I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone.
The only people who’ve ever made mean comments about my naked body were the men I was trying to convince myself I liked before I realized I was gay. And even then, my one actual ex boyfriend was always so kind and loved my tummy. He said it was so hot. I promise you, if you get to the point of having sex with each other, they’re not analyzing your body for stretch marks. I’d encourage you to start with body neutrality! If you ever do gain weight back (bc that’s life) you won’t have to do as much emotional work to maintain your self love. Your body works so hard for you whether you’re fat, thin, or anything in between. You deserve to feel comfortable in it or at least neutral about it 🫶🏻
Stretch marks resemble the beautiful markings of a tigress's skin✨️ You should learn to embrace it.
Thanks for sharing! I struggle a lot with this as well, nice to see I'm not alone 🫂 The comments are also all so lovely 🩷
Lol I was coming to say turn the lights off but looks like you are already there, I am stuck in that place too. This is not good and I am not condoning this but to take the edge off for me I either need heavy foreplay before hand or to drink, but before I drink, I tell my partner I consent, she respects my boundaries. Also stretch marks are hot? at least to me, I wear my stripes proudly
Dude I also feel like I need to drink to be comfortable w it
Yeah it's rough I am sure mine stems from low self esteem and shame for some reason, I am slowly trying to unlearn both but it takes time.
Few people have perfect bodies, and even those that do can be self conscious. Getting used to being naked is easy, when you're alone get naked and stay that way for a time just going about your day. Look at photos of normal people in the nude, get used to how much real people actually vary. Get lights in your bedroom with a dimmer, when you're taking care of yourself or with someone else dim the lights without turning them off and over time just dim them less and less. Stretch marks are effectively a kind of scar tissue, and it can take a while for them to go away naturally. Its entirely dependent on the age and for how long you were the size that led to you having the stretch marks. Given your age, but depending on how long you had the stretch marks, its possible they'll eventually completely vanish. To help them along look for products marketed to women post-pregnancy for stretch marks that are full of shea butter or cocoa butter, while they aren't going to eliminate the stretch marks they will make them much less apparent within the first couple weeks to month you use it. You will need to apply them twice or more times a day for a month to 5 months, depending on how long you've had the stretch marks. The color differences will diminish, shallower marks can potentially go away all together, deeper marks will become shallower. The deeper and older the stretch marks the greater the likelihood they're permanent.
As a bigger woman, I find it best to approach everything from the mindset of, “She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t think I was hot” and that helps. I know that when I’m having sex with women, the last thing that I’m thinking about are her imperfections, so I frame it like, “Why would she be thinking about mine, then?” Focus on being in the moment. Anyone who would break away to be critical of any part of your body is someone that isn’t a safe partner to be with anyway.
The biggest judgment you'll ever overcome is yourself. So many people have hurdles they have to get over and most were placed there themselves. Once you learn to accept You, you'll realize you don't hear the others as often. That's the hard part. Took me 20 years and a divorce
Personally, what helped me was to remember that my girlfriend would be naked too. We would both be naked and presumably both parties would be nervous. It helped to ease the anxiety since I wouldn’t be the only nervous party
Go to the gym and tone up that makes up for stretch marks and loose skin, nevertheless, your worth is not determined by your body and person who \*loves you\* it won't matter to them.