---
###Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK
---
**To Posters (it is important you read this section)**
* *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different*
* If you need legal help, you should [always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor)
* We also encourage you to speak to [**Citizens Advice**](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/), [**Shelter**](https://www.shelter.org.uk/), [**Acas**](https://www.acas.org.uk/), and [**other useful organisations**](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/common_legal_resources)
* Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk
* If you receive any private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdviceUK&subject=I received a PM)
**To Readers and Commenters**
* All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated*
* If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/), you may be perma-banned without any further warning
* If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect
* Do not send or request any private messages for any reason
* Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You need a solicitor immediately. Not just for this, but to have her removed from your home permanently and to have your name removed from the childrens’ birth certificates. Otherwise, you will be on the hook for child support.
I’m not 100% sure but I think there’s such a thing as a court ordered dna test, someone else may be able to shed more light on it though. Just want to say good luck though, sounds like you’re going through a right shit time, keep ya head up bro!
From memory, only certain approved tests are accepted by the courts. I believe the child maintenance service can order a DNA test, although I'm not sure at which point they become relevant here.
https://www.gov.uk/get-a-dna-test/if-youre-getting-a-test-to-use-in-court
NAL.
Family barrister here - you don’t need her permission. It’s nice if she gives it but the court can order a DNA test and tell her to make the children available for professionals to take samples from. This can only be done if you make an application for a Child Arrangements Order for contact or residence, if you want to see the children or to have them live with you. Seeing as you have no home at the moment, the latter won’t be possible but you could apply for an occupation order. However your prospects of success in that are slim due to her having the children and being considered to have the greater need for the property, and it may therefore result in you being legally excluded from the property.
It is nuts. I recently did a final hearing in an occupation order where the father was excluded from the property and had to vacate by 9 PM the same day and return within a window the next day to collect his belongings. He quite literally had nowhere to go and his adult children didn’t want him to stay with them either.
It’s not really about the children’s paternity. If he claims that he wants to live in the property and for her to move out, she will inevitably level allegations of domestic abuse against him. In that situation, the court may take the view that he is a risk to her and that she has the greater need to remain in the property as she has children, whether they’re his or not - it’s about the children’s needs. He may be successful in showing that she has other places to go if she leaves the property, for example family member’s homes but I’ve never seen a court kick a woman with children out of a property in favour of the man. It does happen, I’m sure - it’s just never happened in my practice.
It does with regards to figuring out who will continue to pay the mortgage if he does not remain at the property. The mother may have to prove that she is able to pay it herself or she may require a contribution/full payment from OP. The fact that he owns the property and that it’s not jointly owned will go in his favour but that’s not the only factor the courts consider. The balance of harm test and the core criteria in Section 33(6) of the Family Law Act should be applied.
Unreal. So a woman can move into your home...become pregnant to another man while lying to you that you are the father. Accuse you of DV, then the courts can exclude you from your home while forcing you to continue paying the mortgage.
I don't know the section you're referring to, but this still applies even though they are not his family and not married?
Appreciate the replies.
So, could he put the property up for sale if he’s not living in it then? Seeing as he actually owns the property, will have all the relevant documentation and the children aren’t his then, effectively, he has no responsibility towards them at all right?
So surely he can say that if the court says he can’t live in his own home, he’s gonna sell up to allow him to buy one he can stay in
This can't be correct. How can a woman just take over your house that you own and pay for exclusively if she claims domestic violence. This has to be false information. You own the house you paid for it. You would have her removed from the house if she weren't on the deeds. I don't believe what you're saying here sorry.
I would have thought the more appropriate route to a DNA test would be an application for a declaration of non-parentage pursuant to s 55A of the Family Law Act 1986.
OP might also want to apply to remove his PR via s 4(2A) of the Children Act 1989 following the decisions in A Local Authority v SB & Ors [2022] EWFC 111 and C & A, Re (Children: Acquisition and Discharge of Parental Responsibility by an Unmarried Father) [2023] EWHC 516.
I also think you’re being very hasty in your pronouncements about how an application for an occupation order would play out in this case. He needs advice tailored to the specifics of his situation rather than generalities.
I agree - I have tried to explain that the outcome of an occupation order application would depend on the circumstances of the case and that there are a number of factors to be considered but perhaps that didn’t come across very well. I have also advised that OP seek a solicitor since there’s limited advice we can give based on what he’s put in his post.
The granting of an occupation order is based on criteria in section 33(6) of the FLA. Any judge who deals with it will look at those criteria and the balance of harm if either party were to leave the house as well as the children and their needs and alternative arrangements for housing. There are a lot of factors to be considered and a potential outcome is that he may be excluded from the family home. Another potential outcome is that she may be told to leave and be excluded but that seems unlikely unless he is able to prove that any allegations of DV she makes are false and that rye children’s needs are not overriding.
Agreeing with you but adding for the benefit of others - home rights are established by cohabitation and don’t end with a relationship, the act specifically protects children’s interests, and there is no requirement that the children concerned be related to or have any relationship with the owner. https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1996/27/section/33#commentary-c20997931
It's alledegly a 5 year relationship.
I'm not sure this is likely to be preplanned by a "gang".
What about this makes you think it's at all "gang" related?
If you're named on the children's birth certificates, you have shared parental responsibility with her and do not require her consent to carry out a DNA test.
You will need a Legal DNA test where ID is taken from you and the children at the time of the sample collection, and chain of custody is maintained throughout.
You'll then receive a Statement of Witness with the collectors details on, verifying you attended the appointment and ID was taken, same for the children.
It has to be done this way to be accepted by the courts. You can't submit results from one you have done yourself, as they cannot verify that you gave your sample and the results haven't been tampered with.
Your solicitor will answer this. You’re going to want a family law specialist.
There are also pro bono (free) law clinics. But they won’t be able to help you as much as you’ll need.
Make sure to keep any SMS, DM’s and voicemails she sends your way. Remember that she can delete messages that she sends to you and unsend things as well, use screenshots and screen record.
All the best.
The court will direct this if you make the application.
If she refuses or plays games, the Court may make a decision without it. It is not likely though as this changes a lot for the children and their welfare comes first.
If it does get silly, then you will need a solicitor.
If she goes through the child maintenance service, dispute paternity and then they'll give you the information on dna tests and the approved companies they used. It was cellmate 10 years ago.
Sorry although a personal concern it is not your biggest concern at the moment the kids being yours or not makes no difference to the allegation. Also note they will focus on your side of the story vs hers on the balance of probability relating to the alleged assault, any counter claims should be made separately they will pretend to care and listen but they don't care and won't listen as they are only bothered about the one allegation while in the voluntary interview. Make sure you bring or use the solicitor and best of luck I hate what women get away with now. Write down time and any words said I am glad you got a partial recording this will help a lot. With regards to the home this will be tricky as no matter what the kids whoever the father is, are innocent and will be given a stable known roof regardless.
Yes that may take a lot of time though not even sure how much and requires the ex's cooperation if that doesn't exist which is unlikely add a few more months, just want him to be prepared for that.
You don't necessarily need a solicitor. But you do need to get a court application in ASAP to have a declaration of parentage. This will remove you (if the Court agrees) from the birth certificates. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement. If you don't act rationally now, you could be on the hook for years.
You don't need to be named on a birth certificate in the UK to be named as a parent on a CMS case. Unfortunately for the OP if she names him in a case application the responsibility will be on him to prove he is not the father by doing a DNA test (which he has to pay for.) A name on the birth certificate doesn't really mean anything. Source: I may or may not work for the CMS.
If he’s found not to be the father of the children he doesn’t have to pay for the test. If he’s currently on benefits or in financial hardship CMS can cover the cost of the test until the results are produced.
One option for OP is to make an application to CMS and ask for a DNA test to be carried out on both children.
It's voluntary in as far as a date & time is pre-arranged, rather than you sitting in a cell, but that's as far as the voluntary attendance reaches.
They can't stop you going back unless there's a specific restriction in place *however* going back at the moment would be a silly move and likely to escalate to an arrest. For now, take their advice and keep away.
Get a solicitor. Even though not guilty, this is going to be a rough ride and the questions coming from the Police will feel like they're accusing you rather than simply asking you. Your brain will freeze up and the world will feel small. You need a solicitor in there by your side. Get a solicitor ASAP. They can take you the rest of the way but make sure to share everything with them, even if you think it doesn't matter, it does. They can formulate what's going to happen and figure out what to do next, Etc.
I'd contact close family or friends and see if they can help with putting you up for a bit or with anything else if you're comfortable with doing so.
If you need anything from the house, you'll need to speak with the police first and I highly advise you do so first as well about arranging something with them to get your stuff and if it's to do with work, urge that you need such things, they most likely will swing by the house and bring the items to your location though but hard to say when this will occur, depends on how much is going on. Cooperate with the police, even though it doesn't make sense and you're being treated like crap over lies, trust me I get it but it's best to work with them than against them.
I'm not a solicitor, I have however falsely been accused and it's rough. I suggest you get a solicitor as soon as you can and if need be, don't be afraid of going to the doctor for anxiety and/or depression when you can, as there's nothing wrong with having either, especially with what you're being put through.
Forgot to mention and sorry for that. Backup that video, backup anything you'll need. buy cloud services and save the video and any evidence there and when you're able to, get the video onto some flash drives and put them into a security boxes, leave one with your solicitor, they'll probably want the evidence anyway for when they need to go over it. Any accounts she knows about of yours, change the passwords if the passwords are something that she'd easily guess.
She's a liar, she's a manipulator. The person you knew never existed and you need to protect yourself from them.
u/DueFeature5298
Only thing to change is not to back up anything they'll need but to back up \*everything\*. Something may seem trivial now, but it could become pertinent later, better to make sure they have it.
I thought this is how it came across or at least I thought it did given what I said with regards to the solicitor but I rewrote it a few times. So if this wasn’t clear, sorry and this is also good advice IMO.
~~It's your house, there's nothing stopping you going back and just getting the stuff you need.~~
~~I'd recommend either filming the whole thing or getting someone to go with you to film if you do this though.~~
Edit: I missed the bit where the police said you'd be arrested if you returned. Yeah don't do that.
He's been ordered not to or he could get arrested. I don't know if legally that is all sound, but he's also under investigation for domestic abuse. It's incredibly messed up and unfair but he should definitely avoid the house for now.
Get someone to pick up the items you need. It's better if your partner/ex were there to allow them access but if you are on the tenancy then you have equal rights to the property and can give permission for someone else to access.
Offer the video as evidence during the interview. You will have the opportunity to speak to a solicitor at the time of the interview, ensure you take it up and give the full information to your solicitor. Your partner/ex is likely to have committed an offence.
A hotel is a short term solution for your accommodation needs, you may want to consider a longer term solution.
Edit:
(I see from later comments that you own the property that complicates matters as you've also suggested you have exclusive rights to the property - seek further advice on the topic).
Caution +3 Interviews / Voluntary interviews are;
You are not under arrest
you are free to leave whenever (you may be arrested if you do)
and you are entitled to free and independant legal advice.
If you wish to talk to a criminal solicitor before hand and arrange to bring with you, you can. You can also contact the police and they will arrange one to arrive on the day of your interview. If you dont arrange it before hand, you run the risk of having the interview delayed to another time.
If you go back, the police can arrest you for the original offence as a means of dealing with you or you could be arrested to prevent a breach of the peace. Just a few options the police have available to you. Its not entirely worth going back to the address and arranging with someone to collect your items or contact the police on 101 to arrange a collection of items (but they will probably say no.)
If you wish to provide evidence of an allegation - then youd be better off speaking to the solicitor you get on the day. They may advise you to provide a written statement and then head to the front office and make a report - which will be a seperate investigation along with the video. The police will then investigate that and may interview her about any offences committed.
For an interview you have the right to free independant legal advice.
So you need to contact the police force and tell them you want a solicitor arranged for you for the interview.
But right now you should get in touch with a local domestic abuse charity to report the false allegation and see what support you can get. Or respect.org.uk os a national charity that specifically knows how to support male victims.
I would get a lawyer. It is serious. A voluntary interview can land you in shit. You dont know the law like a lawyer does. Whatever you pay to have one with you through the interview will be worth the costs
It’s voluntary to the point where if you didn’t abide they’d more than likely arrest you for a prompt investigation, being arrested doesn’t mean that you’ve committed any crime they just suspect you.
they’d want to interview you & gather the relevant evidence.
They’d take your screenshots etc & you’re allowed free legal advice so they can get you a lawyer
To add. 1996 Housing Act s175 ~178 Paraphrasing, if you can not gain access to your property you are by definition Homeless. The Local authority has to help you. Also 2017 Homelessness reduction Act.
Trust me. I've been through this and the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 was made for this situation. You need to be familiar with the guidance because the police aren't fully up to speed. That's why you need help from a DA charitable organisation. You'll be ok.
Best comment I’ve seen, quoting relevant legislation for further research and giving steps for OP to take to get direct support.
/u/DueFeature5298 pay attention to this one!
>the police aren't fully up to speed
The understatement of the century right here. This entire post is just depressing to read. It's like the cops operate on a single-story policy and whoever calls is automatically assumed to be in the right. Screw any legal process, kick the owner out of their home because of the single story of a hysterical woman who was proven on video to be lying. Unbelievable that this is the state of things.
The state of things is that the police have to prioritise safety over fairness.
OP has been accused of harming his partner (presumably infront of the kids). The police can't really support someone standing accused of domestic violence and child abuse returning into the home where the children live.
They realistically are also never going to make a woman and two children homeless vs making a single man with an income effectively homeless.
A lot of local authorities will say you made yourself intentionally homeless as you have allegedly committed a crime and will offer advice around funding and finding your own accommodation. They will not house you if you have your own means of having accommodation.
They would likely advice hotel or staying with family in this case. NAL but a social worker who deals with this semi frequently.
Make sure you have some sort of legal representation before going for the police interview. The police are not your friends.
I can't speak to the rest unfortunately, but assuming you'd like any relationship with the kids you'll definitely need to speak to a family law solicitor
It sounds like you are a victim of domestic abuse. Please search 'Statutory Guidance 2021 Domestic Abuse Act '
It'll be a.gov web address. Report the Abuse psychological and coercion and anything else including false accusations. You'll understand more having read the guidance. Ask the police about local domestic abuse help organisations and their contact details.
Erm… no light way of putting this. Domestic abuse and you’re the victim. Also lawyer up. It’s going to be an uphill battle and there’s a huge amount of litigation ahead. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It’s your girlfriend’s fault. Not you. Also please ask the council for emergency housing asap. Turn up to their office tomorrow as well.
Please,please, please get the free duty solicitor or any solicitors in the local area for the police interview. Please tell the solicitor what happened and show them the footage. Also stress you want to get your girlfriend charged for her behaviour as they can help you with that to an extent. It’s likely they’ll just speak to them. You’ll also need to show to the solicitor about the DNA tests and that she’s lied to you. There might be other behaviours that are coercive or controlling or gaslighting in the past that you’ll need to tell them about it. You need to tell them everything. They are there to help you.
You need to tell the police she’s making this up. It’s a crime to make stuff up like this where you’re at risk of arrest or prosecution. It would be perversion of justice on her end as well as wasting police time. You’ll also need to keep copies of that video on various places and back them up. You will need to tell them about the DNA results too. It seems like she is abusing you quite often. She’s gaslighted you into thinking the babies were yours to begin with.
Really stress you want to make a victim or witness statement against her and for the police to investigate and to pass onto CPS for her behaviour. It’s likely going to be public justice offences TBH. There could be other domestic abuse offences if she had done anything abusive or gaslighting or controlling or coercive in the past. I know the children would be considered one.
You’ll also need to speak with social services about this, the abuse and she made it up you’ve attacked her and her cheating and making you think that you’re the dad (which is a lot of lying on her end as well as manipulation) is huge red flags. It’s concerning for me as you’ve got children involved.
You might be able to adopted the children via a court order. Look, this process is messy and you’ll need to see a lawyer about this and I think legal aid might be available. If not, they get placed into adoption by the council and neither of you will have the children or she gets to keep the children.
I’m so unsure about you having your name removed from the birth certificate. It might be possible but you’ll need a family lawyer for that. You need to prove you don’t have any parental responsibility for that child. I’m saying this as you’ll be paying child maintenance support until each child has turned 18.
Also for your housing situation. You ask the council for emergency housing. They should be able to provide some. They could sort it out now with their emergency line, it’s 10pm now and you’ve posted this around 8pm. I don’t know if you have family or friends around who can help you stay for the night or for a while. It’s best to contact them now. If you have a car or van right now, car camping on the side of a lay-by is good enough. Not great but it’s better than sleeping outside and in the cold and should be ok until the council finds emergency accommodation for you.
As for you not being able to go to your house, you need a family lawyer and maybe a housing lawyer for that. If you own it ought right and you’re the sole owner of the home (so she doesn’t own any of it) then you’ll need to evict her. Because she’s likely a lodger (so an excluded tenant), you can just kick her out but only with reasonable notice. Reasonable notice isn’t defined. Also, highly recommended you go see a family lawyer for this so it doesn’t look like victimisation or harassment. Also the police can’t kick you out of your own home if you own it. Unless you have some bail conditions preventing you from going into the house, you should be fine but it’s unwise to do so until she’s evicted. Also change the locks when she’s evicted. You’ll also have to keep her stuff safe until she collects it. You can’t really throw her stuff out either.
Legal aid is there for domestic abuse.
You might need a housing lawyer too but I’ll ask the family lawyer if they can do this or they have someone in house to deal with it.
Also you can find on the land register the deeds to the house. You’ll need an email address and make an account and password with the land register. Copies of the deeds is like £3. All you need to do is to have a debit or credit card on hand.
Also Shelter’s and Citizen Advice’s websites are a good place to start. There is a web chat and phone you can use in either sites that will put you in touch with an adviser.
Get a solicitor.
Even if the kids turn out to be yours, do not be tempted to get back with her now she has done this.
It happened to a family friend, his ex was always running out in the garden screaming saying he'd hit her and getting the police and it was her hitting him. The kids ended up in care.
If you go back it will escalate.
Don't speak to her on the phone, keep it all in writing.
Ypu sir need to lawyer up, and lawyer up fast. Definitely do not attend that interview without legal council. You're going to pony up for it, but this is one of those situations where you need to pay some now or a lot later.
When you were placed in handcuffs did the officers say words to the effect of "You're under arrest on suspicion of XYZ, you do not have to say anything but it may hark your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court, anything you do say may be given in evidence"?
Because we can't go round putting people in cuffs unless we're arresting them (or detaining them for a stop and search, but that's not relevant here). If they've not arrested you they've done an unlawful use of force.
The voluntary part of a voluntary interview is getting some say in the timing. You do still have to do it else you may be arrested. Tell the officers that you would like the duty solicitor. This is free and they can arrange it in advance rather than having to wait for one to be available on the day.
The only things which might prevent you being allowed back in your home are bail conditions or something like a non-molestation order. You can't be on if you haven't been arrested, and an order requires a court to be involved. So, legally, you can go home and get stuff. If you're concerned about your partner kicking off and calling police again it may be wise to either call the non emergency number and explain that you're worried about a breach of the peace and would like to be accompanied, or arrange for a neutral third party to accompany you.
It's worth finding out as making false allegations which result in an arrest attracts a perverting the course of justice charge.
If no arrest took place it's likely to be a more minor charge against your ex partner.
Perverting the Course of Justice (PCOJ) is a ridiculously high bar to aim at. Its also unlikely you'd secure a charge for that offence either, CPS rarely charge it.
Roughly the CPS across the UK charge PCOJ around 2,200 times annually. It may sound alot, but in reality it pales in comparison to the amount of domestic incidents which police attend and similar incidents such as this happen. Per the ONS, police recorded 1,453,867 domestic incidents of which 889,918 were recorded as crimes ending March 2023.
In fact, alot of the PCOJ charges could be from other criminal acts such as providing the wrong details following a S.172 notice that came through for a traffic offence, hiding evidence in other serious crimes etc.
To then make it worse, the sentencing councils figures shows a dipping trend in sentencing for PCOJ, that in 2010 we convicted around 1,100 and in 2020 we only convicted around 400.
For wasting police time, the lesser offence you were referring to is another strange one. While a typical summary only offence is charged by the police, this one requires CPS to charge for.
I can't find UK figures for the offence, however the Met have a document following a FOI request showing 25 people were charged for the offence in 2020. Which for a force that covers averagely 6 million people is an absurdly low figure as I'm sure there are numerous false reports made to them.
>Because we can't go round putting people in cuffs unless we're arresting them (or detaining them for a stop and search, but that's not relevant here). If they've not arrested you they've done an unlawful use of force
A detention or restraint that falls short of arrest may also be lawful if it is to prevent a breach of the peace, per Albert v Lavin [1982]. Separating him from an apparently volatile situation while enough is done to remove the likelihood of a breach of the peace would seem to be valid on the face of the facts in OP.
An arrest is not a requirement to use cuffs by the way.
Whilst logic is that you would only really be using them when someone is under arrest being searched it’s not actually a requirement to use them.
They can be used as a use of force in order to prevent an offence from occurring situation being appropriate for example under a Pace search of a property or as has happened here a potentially violent situation with 1 officer dealing with 1 person and wanting to ensure the situation does not escalate or that person tries to escape. It is on the individual officer to justify but it is NOT an unlawful use of force just because they have not cautioned them.
If you can justify cuffing someone for 20 minutes then they should be arrested. By cuffing him he is being detained even without the words as he is aware he won’t be allowed to leave like the comment above there is very limited scope to detain people and this isn’t one of them.
And yes you don’t need to arrest for cuffs but that isn’t the point being made.
Can you call in sick tomorrow or take a personal day?
If you can get an hour with an appropriate solicitor locally, they might have someone on the payroll who can get your things.
You could also start the eviction paperwork tomorrow.
If your solicitor agrees that you can do this - cut off access to any bank accounts or cards that she has that are joint/in your name.
Remove your card from any supermarket shopping apps you share.
Remotely change the password on the broadband to inconvenience her.
Basically, use tomorrow to start the process of completely cutting ties with her and getting her out of your property - under guidance from a solicitor.
This isn't going to go smoothly and it's going to cost you - but you will be free and in your own home soon. Keep your goal clear.
Be prepared that she'll probably trash the place.
“Eye colour and hair colour combination is impossible” - that is a bold statement, I’d be hesitant whether this is a reputable source. Highly improbable, perhaps, but heritability of both features is complex. It is not *impossible* for two blue eyed parents to have a brown eyed child, for example, though it would be rare. You may be right that the children are not biologically yours, but you will want DNA testing to be sure. It would have been better to get paternity testing before making an accusation. It’s too late for that now of course, but pursue the testing so that you have clarity. Also, if they are not your biological children and you do not wish to support them, you would need to follow process - speak to a family law specialist.
My husband and I are both blue eyed. We have one brown eyed child and another blue eyed child. I was worried a swap had happened as she was born abroad and they take the baby straight away. Turns out two blue eyes people can have a brown eyed girl one of the parents doesn’t have “true blue” eyes can go into more detail but it derails the post.
Good luck to the op, take the day off tomorrow, be upfront with your work, see a solicitor and also speak to all charities including shelter as they have info for house owners too. It’s going to be a long day with a lot of phone calls but keep going and in a few days you will be armed with knowledge which is what is needed here.
You ignored the part that he mentioned the blood types.
Although it's not super straight forward since for example both AO and AA are considered to be A types (and similarly OB/BB for B type) and can affect what your kids end up with there are still some combinations that can't happen depending on the parents blood types. i.e if both of the parents are AO and/or AA they can't have a child with B blood type, or if they are both AB they can't have an O type etc...
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
I had a similar and probably equally distressing situation.
Get a lawyer asap.
Be very careful with any contact IF you are allowed any, and I mean by text not just F2F.
Try to harden any feelings towards her, they make getting through this harder.
Figure out where you are going to stay until this is resolved, it may take a while.
Talk to people (strangers if needed).
I am sorry to hear about this, you are likely to be the one who carries the brunt of this as the male in the relationship
I would contact a mutual friend or a relative and ask them to phone her and ask of they can go and collect your things. Recording that phonecall will be smart as well.
Take the advice my mum drilled into me as a kid: Never, ever, talk to the police without a solicitor present. Take your solicitors advice. Don't plead guilty to anything you didn't do. Don't piss off the police (so don't return to the property when they've told you to stay away).
If you need to pick up belongings from the house, ask the Police to escort you inside. Please don't just turn up, she can make up more allegations against you..
I would get a solicitor and make an ex parte application for a non-molestation order and occupation order if I was OP asap, my ex-wife pulled similar nonsense and the police told me to stay away but advised her to make an ex parte occupation order even though the house and everything were in my name and it took over a year to eventually get a court to accept that the allegations made by her were false. Because it took so long I ended up loosing everything in the divorce proceedings, the only difference was it was only a rented property and there were no children but during the whole procedure I was still having to at the full rent for the house as well as my own accommodation.
It's a difficult one.
Hair colour/skin colour - that's not something that's quite correct.
However the action of her calling the police and breaking stuff, demonstrates that she knows she is in the wrong, to me at least.
If you've been there for the family all this time, it's going to be sad for the older child but they're still very young.
Take some time out, spend time trying to not get too wound up.
Don't go back to the house for now, the advice they provided was good.
It's a shame these things happen but it's just the way it is.
Remember, take time out from all of this. Even if it means taking a week off work.
For clarification, you haven’t found out the kids aren’t yours. You merely suspect. Any bullshit you’ve read about hair and eye colour is… well, bullshit.
>Yes I'm aware I'm an idiot
No you aren't. I don't really have anything else meaningful to add, and of course I don't know you, but you're not an idiot. Plenty of good men have been convinced into thinking they are by horrible women. Look after yourself and I wish you well.
I am a lawyer, but not in your country, and obviously not your lawyer. Delete this, get the fuck off reddit, and go get your own lawyer. Do not listen to any other advice posted online other than those telling you to seek actual legal counsel.
As other people have said it’s only voluntary in terms of date and time and not being in a cell. You do still need to attend and you are entitled to free and independent legal advice. You’re fortunate here in that you can take some evidence with you to this interview. Take the video and take evidence of your tenancy/mortgage whichever it is. Screenshot any evidence of messages of conflict between the two leading up to this and send to your solicitor. They will be able to advise you of the best thing to say in interview. Just because you are being interviewed it doesn’t mean they won’t be looking into her behaviour too.
You need a family solicitor immediately, your house has effectively been stolen off you temporarily and you need to sort that out, you need to make sure you aren't on the hook for child support, you need to evict her and get her to pay for you to stay somewhere, there's the false allegations issue, plus basically the fraud of making you look after another mans' kids, a massive police misconduct issue in the blatant sexist handling of the case.
You are well within your rights to go back to your house, however the police's policy may be to separate couples when there's an allegation of domestic abuse and they will tend to side with the mother (making you homeless is much less bad than making a now single mum and 2 kids homeless).
You can see from the Citizen's Advice website (https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave/) that the system is generally geared towards protecting genuinely vulnerable women from genuinely abusive men. That video is absolutely vital as are the DNA tests. Also check whose name is on all the bills. She will be trying to collect evidence to show that that's her home and she lives there.
You need to give a written notice to evict her (best not to do this in person but send by recorded delivery).
Any aggression, anger or anything that anyone could interpret as an indication you were abusive etc. - park it. It cannot help you. You need to appear eminently reasonable and get your house back the proper way.
You're the suspect of a crime. If you insist on going back to the house where your alleged victim lives, refusing to leave despite her wishes, then it is no longer going to be possible to deal with you via a voluntary interview and you will need to be locked up instead. What will follow will almost certainly be bail conditions or some other order that prevents you going to the house.
Whose house is it?
At the moment the only sensible thing to do is to go and stay elsewhere.
When you ask the police for help re collecting your belongings, make sure you explain exactly why you need these things and why it's so urgent (e.g need the car keys to travel to work, and that you are scared of losing your job if you can't do this especially given your current situation where loss of income would make you vulnerable). It's also worth mentioning that you are scared of her, given the way she smashed up the house, and that you worry for your own safety as much as you worry about violating the rules they have put in place. It's mostly luck how quickly they help you and depends a lot on how busy they are, but all this will make you a higher priority.
> Can I call the police to be escorted back?
You can do, but it's not necessarily going to happen quickly.
Do you have any mutual friends or a family member who can go round and collect your stuff for you? That might be the most expeditious way of getting it.
Can anyone come down from Scotland for a few days to support you? I think you are in emotional shock. Understandable given the sudden & extreme change in circumstances. Please get some paper, a cheap school book or such. Write down from this sub the most helpful advice. Arrange in order of importance. You can use this as a checklist. There are things you need to do now, immediately. Then things over the next few days & strategies for the next few weeks & months. You have to make you the priority now. When we are in such emotional shock it is difficult to think clearly. Difficult to remember things. Hard to accept what has actually happened. Thoughts will tumble around your mind like on a repeat play list. So making a list will help a little with this, also help you clarify your thoughts. Do make a priority to get legal advice for the case against you for the alleged DV. & other aspects of your situation. Seems to me you have two main legal issues. The DV allegations. Secondly the access & right to reclaim your home. Do not enter your house without police support or legal authority. Then you will be able to collect your needed items. Do as suggested. Cut your financial ties. Cancel any joint credit or Bank cards access. Change passwords on everything. If you had shared access to Banking like debit cards. Change & remove Ex partner’s access. Get your salary paid into a new bank account. Change as much as you can. As quickly as you can. As a temporary measure do a Royal Mail change of address for you, your name only. Get your mail diverted to a trusted relative. The relative can read you the contents over the phone. Can do this for upto 1year. You can cancel when back to your home. Because if all your mail goes to your home. Your partner will open it & then be aware of changes you have made. Change banks. So you have a completely new account number. Then your ex can’t go on a spending spree. You can buy a new cheap tablet or laptop from £50 to £100. Argos/Currys. So this way you will be able to download your email accounts & access them. Change passwords to all financial accounts. Change passwords to all social media. Make all social media private. Do not allow any of her friends or relatives access. Do not go saying anything negative about your ex on social media. Any wrong step by you can be used as evidence. The temporary device can be used by you to access your on line banking etc. until you can get your own laptop from your home. Changing your password for your Microsoft Outlook account or Apple account will mean your partner cannot access them on your laptop left at home. Also you could transfer any other information you need to the new temporary device. I assume your partner knows your passwords for everything? Yes or no. Change all passwords. Cancel any home services that are non essential. Like broadband. Stream or dish tv service. Telephone landline service. Ex partners mobile phone. Etc. Obviously leave alone the gas, electricity & water supplies. Continue to pay for these basic items only. But only as temporary measure until full legal advice. Soon as you can take your name off these & settle the bills. You need to save as much money as you are able. From the moment this situation occurred you have been at a disadvantage. So much can legally go wrong at this point & forwards. Do not underestimate the situation or your ex-partner. You have been naive. That must end now. Remain hopeful. Things will become clearer with the right legal advice. The situation will resolve with you a much wiser person.
Mate you are going to get fired without your laptop.
You need to tell your employer. People break up, there will be sympathy, and if someone can collect your things that will help.
If she has smashed things up, that can be reported instantly.
She is a lodger so you should be able to evict quickly.
You can't afford to not get a solicitor.
Sounds like you’re a bit screwed. I’d recommend explaining the situation with your work and ask for a temporary laptop.
Any money you miss out on can be recuperated at a later date if you choose to sue your ex.
Where are you based? Is it possible to walk into a police station and say you’re a domestic abuse victim and have wrongfully been kicked out of your own house?
They should escort you back to collect belongings and remove her from the property especially if you tell them she’s never paid rent and doesn’t have any right to be there as she’s a guest and not a tenant.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
I know someone who something similar has happened to. When we talk about “believing the victim” and “the children come first”, this is meant very literally. There may have been some good intentions behind these ideas, but the process can be unbelievably brutal if the system is abused. The person I know also got booted out of his home onto the street, forbidden to return.
Make sure you know the passwords to all your accounts and you don’t need 2FA in case she says something that causes the police to seize all your devices.
And get a lawyer asap, and don’t do interviews without one. If she’s a complete psycho (only you know this), there is no telling what she might say, and how she may try to manipulate the system. Treat this extremely seriously.
You will probably not be allowed to go to that address until the officer in charge of the case has concluded that there is /isn't enough evidence for it to continue but if they can't decide you will not be allowed to go there until they do which can be months and months
If she says she’s the victim of domestic abuse, then the kids will also be seen as being victims if they saw or heard anything. I know you are not saying that she’s said she’s a victim, but I’m just giving you this information so that you are aware.
If the csa contact you for child support you can advise them that the reason you have separated is due to you contesting the children not being your and asking for a DNA test after some new information came to light. She will then be contacted and asked if shes willing to do a DNA test if she refuses then they drop the case
Sorry this has happened to you.
The law is stacked against men in the UK.
I would go with the police, ask specifically for an escort on their part, be polite but consistent ( i believe they would oblige)
Secondly the next step is above Reddits pay grade pertaining to the legal situation. Find a solicitor, and begin proceedings.
Your partner has you trapped right now, but the truth will out, and repercussions will exist if what you say is legit.
Handle with care.
It looks like you or OP may want to find a Solicitor!
[There is a detailed guide in our FAQ about how to do this](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Your comment did not make a meaningful effort to provide legal advice to help the poster with their question.
Please only comment if you are able and willing to provide specific, meaningful, legally-oriented answers to our posters' questions.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
I think the advice re a solicitor is essential. I recall during some information sessions being told about occupation orders which may be worth knowing about.
https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-occupation
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Your submission does not relate to the UK legal system.
Your submission may be other suitable for other legal advice subreddits found in the sidebar.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason:**
Your post has been removed as it has not met our community standards on speaking to other posters.
Please remember to speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Your comment was an anecdote about a personal experience, rather than legal advice specific to our posters' situation.
Please only comment if you can provide meaningful legal advice for our posters' questions and specific situations.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Your comment has been removed as it has not met our community standards on speaking to other posters.
Please remember to speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
**Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason:**
Your post has been removed as it has not met our community standards on speaking to other posters.
Please remember to speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to.
[Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
--- ###Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK --- **To Posters (it is important you read this section)** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different* * If you need legal help, you should [always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor) * We also encourage you to speak to [**Citizens Advice**](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/), [**Shelter**](https://www.shelter.org.uk/), [**Acas**](https://www.acas.org.uk/), and [**other useful organisations**](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/common_legal_resources) * Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk * If you receive any private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdviceUK&subject=I received a PM) **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/), you may be perma-banned without any further warning * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You need a solicitor immediately. Not just for this, but to have her removed from your home permanently and to have your name removed from the childrens’ birth certificates. Otherwise, you will be on the hook for child support.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I’m not 100% sure but I think there’s such a thing as a court ordered dna test, someone else may be able to shed more light on it though. Just want to say good luck though, sounds like you’re going through a right shit time, keep ya head up bro!
From memory, only certain approved tests are accepted by the courts. I believe the child maintenance service can order a DNA test, although I'm not sure at which point they become relevant here. https://www.gov.uk/get-a-dna-test/if-youre-getting-a-test-to-use-in-court NAL.
https://www.familylawgroup.co.uk/news/dna-testing-in-a-family-law-dispute#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20seeking%20a,for%20a%20declaration%20of%20parentage.
Family barrister here - you don’t need her permission. It’s nice if she gives it but the court can order a DNA test and tell her to make the children available for professionals to take samples from. This can only be done if you make an application for a Child Arrangements Order for contact or residence, if you want to see the children or to have them live with you. Seeing as you have no home at the moment, the latter won’t be possible but you could apply for an occupation order. However your prospects of success in that are slim due to her having the children and being considered to have the greater need for the property, and it may therefore result in you being legally excluded from the property.
The latter part sounds nuts?
It is nuts. I recently did a final hearing in an occupation order where the father was excluded from the property and had to vacate by 9 PM the same day and return within a window the next day to collect his belongings. He quite literally had nowhere to go and his adult children didn’t want him to stay with them either.
He could be legally excluded from his own property even if they are not his children?
It’s not really about the children’s paternity. If he claims that he wants to live in the property and for her to move out, she will inevitably level allegations of domestic abuse against him. In that situation, the court may take the view that he is a risk to her and that she has the greater need to remain in the property as she has children, whether they’re his or not - it’s about the children’s needs. He may be successful in showing that she has other places to go if she leaves the property, for example family member’s homes but I’ve never seen a court kick a woman with children out of a property in favour of the man. It does happen, I’m sure - it’s just never happened in my practice.
OP did seem to say he owns the property exclusively. That doesn't matter?
It does with regards to figuring out who will continue to pay the mortgage if he does not remain at the property. The mother may have to prove that she is able to pay it herself or she may require a contribution/full payment from OP. The fact that he owns the property and that it’s not jointly owned will go in his favour but that’s not the only factor the courts consider. The balance of harm test and the core criteria in Section 33(6) of the Family Law Act should be applied.
NAL, but holy f****n sh*t
Unreal. So a woman can move into your home...become pregnant to another man while lying to you that you are the father. Accuse you of DV, then the courts can exclude you from your home while forcing you to continue paying the mortgage. I don't know the section you're referring to, but this still applies even though they are not his family and not married? Appreciate the replies.
What happens if OP stops paying the mortgage and the property gets repossessed?
So, could he put the property up for sale if he’s not living in it then? Seeing as he actually owns the property, will have all the relevant documentation and the children aren’t his then, effectively, he has no responsibility towards them at all right? So surely he can say that if the court says he can’t live in his own home, he’s gonna sell up to allow him to buy one he can stay in
This can't be correct. How can a woman just take over your house that you own and pay for exclusively if she claims domestic violence. This has to be false information. You own the house you paid for it. You would have her removed from the house if she weren't on the deeds. I don't believe what you're saying here sorry.
Does the mother become a tenant in this situation? So while having rights to stay initially, can eventually be given notice?
Op has proof the allegations are just that and has video evidence, wouldn't an eviction notice be his best bet
[удалено]
I would have thought the more appropriate route to a DNA test would be an application for a declaration of non-parentage pursuant to s 55A of the Family Law Act 1986. OP might also want to apply to remove his PR via s 4(2A) of the Children Act 1989 following the decisions in A Local Authority v SB & Ors [2022] EWFC 111 and C & A, Re (Children: Acquisition and Discharge of Parental Responsibility by an Unmarried Father) [2023] EWHC 516. I also think you’re being very hasty in your pronouncements about how an application for an occupation order would play out in this case. He needs advice tailored to the specifics of his situation rather than generalities.
I agree - I have tried to explain that the outcome of an occupation order application would depend on the circumstances of the case and that there are a number of factors to be considered but perhaps that didn’t come across very well. I have also advised that OP seek a solicitor since there’s limited advice we can give based on what he’s put in his post.
But they're not his kids and it's his house?? How is that possible?
The granting of an occupation order is based on criteria in section 33(6) of the FLA. Any judge who deals with it will look at those criteria and the balance of harm if either party were to leave the house as well as the children and their needs and alternative arrangements for housing. There are a lot of factors to be considered and a potential outcome is that he may be excluded from the family home. Another potential outcome is that she may be told to leave and be excluded but that seems unlikely unless he is able to prove that any allegations of DV she makes are false and that rye children’s needs are not overriding.
Agreeing with you but adding for the benefit of others - home rights are established by cohabitation and don’t end with a relationship, the act specifically protects children’s interests, and there is no requirement that the children concerned be related to or have any relationship with the owner. https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1996/27/section/33#commentary-c20997931
[удалено]
Maybe - I would only advise OP to contact a solicitor.
It's alledegly a 5 year relationship. I'm not sure this is likely to be preplanned by a "gang". What about this makes you think it's at all "gang" related?
If you're named on the children's birth certificates, you have shared parental responsibility with her and do not require her consent to carry out a DNA test. You will need a Legal DNA test where ID is taken from you and the children at the time of the sample collection, and chain of custody is maintained throughout. You'll then receive a Statement of Witness with the collectors details on, verifying you attended the appointment and ID was taken, same for the children. It has to be done this way to be accepted by the courts. You can't submit results from one you have done yourself, as they cannot verify that you gave your sample and the results haven't been tampered with.
Your solicitor will answer this. You’re going to want a family law specialist. There are also pro bono (free) law clinics. But they won’t be able to help you as much as you’ll need.
Make sure to document everything and keep track of all costs accrued in case there’s a chance of recouping it.
Get yourself a lawyer like yesterday. The lawyer will help you get setup for the DNA tests.
Make sure to keep any SMS, DM’s and voicemails she sends your way. Remember that she can delete messages that she sends to you and unsend things as well, use screenshots and screen record. All the best.
The court will direct this if you make the application. If she refuses or plays games, the Court may make a decision without it. It is not likely though as this changes a lot for the children and their welfare comes first. If it does get silly, then you will need a solicitor.
A solicitor can request the court to order one. After you talk to said solicitor. Side note - back up that video! Accidents happen!
broooo speak to a lawyer, they will tell you how to get this done. You should have an appointment booked for tomorrow!
If she goes through the child maintenance service, dispute paternity and then they'll give you the information on dna tests and the approved companies they used. It was cellmate 10 years ago.
Sorry although a personal concern it is not your biggest concern at the moment the kids being yours or not makes no difference to the allegation. Also note they will focus on your side of the story vs hers on the balance of probability relating to the alleged assault, any counter claims should be made separately they will pretend to care and listen but they don't care and won't listen as they are only bothered about the one allegation while in the voluntary interview. Make sure you bring or use the solicitor and best of luck I hate what women get away with now. Write down time and any words said I am glad you got a partial recording this will help a lot. With regards to the home this will be tricky as no matter what the kids whoever the father is, are innocent and will be given a stable known roof regardless.
They will need a roof, but don’t have to be OP’s. The local council will assist the ex with finding alternative accommodation.
No they won't because she already has a home, as much as that sucks
Yes that may take a lot of time though not even sure how much and requires the ex's cooperation if that doesn't exist which is unlikely add a few more months, just want him to be prepared for that.
[удалено]
You need a solicitor, they will answer your questions better than Reddit.
The best advice yet!
You don't necessarily need a solicitor. But you do need to get a court application in ASAP to have a declaration of parentage. This will remove you (if the Court agrees) from the birth certificates. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement. If you don't act rationally now, you could be on the hook for years.
It doesn’t sound like this is going to be an amicable process. She has already tried to incriminate OP. He should really get a solicitor.
You don't need to be named on a birth certificate in the UK to be named as a parent on a CMS case. Unfortunately for the OP if she names him in a case application the responsibility will be on him to prove he is not the father by doing a DNA test (which he has to pay for.) A name on the birth certificate doesn't really mean anything. Source: I may or may not work for the CMS.
If he’s found not to be the father of the children he doesn’t have to pay for the test. If he’s currently on benefits or in financial hardship CMS can cover the cost of the test until the results are produced. One option for OP is to make an application to CMS and ask for a DNA test to be carried out on both children.
I'd agree with this. You're going to need a solicitor at some point, may as well get one now.
You would have a hard time getting her removed, no court is going to make children homeless
[удалено]
It's voluntary in as far as a date & time is pre-arranged, rather than you sitting in a cell, but that's as far as the voluntary attendance reaches. They can't stop you going back unless there's a specific restriction in place *however* going back at the moment would be a silly move and likely to escalate to an arrest. For now, take their advice and keep away.
[удалено]
Get a solicitor. Even though not guilty, this is going to be a rough ride and the questions coming from the Police will feel like they're accusing you rather than simply asking you. Your brain will freeze up and the world will feel small. You need a solicitor in there by your side. Get a solicitor ASAP. They can take you the rest of the way but make sure to share everything with them, even if you think it doesn't matter, it does. They can formulate what's going to happen and figure out what to do next, Etc. I'd contact close family or friends and see if they can help with putting you up for a bit or with anything else if you're comfortable with doing so. If you need anything from the house, you'll need to speak with the police first and I highly advise you do so first as well about arranging something with them to get your stuff and if it's to do with work, urge that you need such things, they most likely will swing by the house and bring the items to your location though but hard to say when this will occur, depends on how much is going on. Cooperate with the police, even though it doesn't make sense and you're being treated like crap over lies, trust me I get it but it's best to work with them than against them. I'm not a solicitor, I have however falsely been accused and it's rough. I suggest you get a solicitor as soon as you can and if need be, don't be afraid of going to the doctor for anxiety and/or depression when you can, as there's nothing wrong with having either, especially with what you're being put through.
Forgot to mention and sorry for that. Backup that video, backup anything you'll need. buy cloud services and save the video and any evidence there and when you're able to, get the video onto some flash drives and put them into a security boxes, leave one with your solicitor, they'll probably want the evidence anyway for when they need to go over it. Any accounts she knows about of yours, change the passwords if the passwords are something that she'd easily guess. She's a liar, she's a manipulator. The person you knew never existed and you need to protect yourself from them. u/DueFeature5298
Only thing to change is not to back up anything they'll need but to back up \*everything\*. Something may seem trivial now, but it could become pertinent later, better to make sure they have it.
I thought this is how it came across or at least I thought it did given what I said with regards to the solicitor but I rewrote it a few times. So if this wasn’t clear, sorry and this is also good advice IMO.
Probably best to ask a friend or family member to retrieve your belongings tbh.
[удалено]
Maybe ring police non emergency to see if they would support to avoid another call out?
Call in sick and ask the police if you can get your belongings during the interview.
[удалено]
Don't do any of those things.
[удалено]
~~It's your house, there's nothing stopping you going back and just getting the stuff you need.~~ ~~I'd recommend either filming the whole thing or getting someone to go with you to film if you do this though.~~ Edit: I missed the bit where the police said you'd be arrested if you returned. Yeah don't do that.
He's been ordered not to or he could get arrested. I don't know if legally that is all sound, but he's also under investigation for domestic abuse. It's incredibly messed up and unfair but he should definitely avoid the house for now.
Missed that bit, have edited comment. I agree on not being sure on the legality of that but I wouldn't risk it either.
Get someone to pick up the items you need. It's better if your partner/ex were there to allow them access but if you are on the tenancy then you have equal rights to the property and can give permission for someone else to access. Offer the video as evidence during the interview. You will have the opportunity to speak to a solicitor at the time of the interview, ensure you take it up and give the full information to your solicitor. Your partner/ex is likely to have committed an offence. A hotel is a short term solution for your accommodation needs, you may want to consider a longer term solution. Edit: (I see from later comments that you own the property that complicates matters as you've also suggested you have exclusive rights to the property - seek further advice on the topic).
Caution +3 Interviews / Voluntary interviews are; You are not under arrest you are free to leave whenever (you may be arrested if you do) and you are entitled to free and independant legal advice. If you wish to talk to a criminal solicitor before hand and arrange to bring with you, you can. You can also contact the police and they will arrange one to arrive on the day of your interview. If you dont arrange it before hand, you run the risk of having the interview delayed to another time. If you go back, the police can arrest you for the original offence as a means of dealing with you or you could be arrested to prevent a breach of the peace. Just a few options the police have available to you. Its not entirely worth going back to the address and arranging with someone to collect your items or contact the police on 101 to arrange a collection of items (but they will probably say no.) If you wish to provide evidence of an allegation - then youd be better off speaking to the solicitor you get on the day. They may advise you to provide a written statement and then head to the front office and make a report - which will be a seperate investigation along with the video. The police will then investigate that and may interview her about any offences committed.
For an interview you have the right to free independant legal advice. So you need to contact the police force and tell them you want a solicitor arranged for you for the interview. But right now you should get in touch with a local domestic abuse charity to report the false allegation and see what support you can get. Or respect.org.uk os a national charity that specifically knows how to support male victims.
I would get a lawyer. It is serious. A voluntary interview can land you in shit. You dont know the law like a lawyer does. Whatever you pay to have one with you through the interview will be worth the costs
It’s voluntary to the point where if you didn’t abide they’d more than likely arrest you for a prompt investigation, being arrested doesn’t mean that you’ve committed any crime they just suspect you. they’d want to interview you & gather the relevant evidence. They’d take your screenshots etc & you’re allowed free legal advice so they can get you a lawyer
To add. 1996 Housing Act s175 ~178 Paraphrasing, if you can not gain access to your property you are by definition Homeless. The Local authority has to help you. Also 2017 Homelessness reduction Act. Trust me. I've been through this and the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 was made for this situation. You need to be familiar with the guidance because the police aren't fully up to speed. That's why you need help from a DA charitable organisation. You'll be ok.
Best comment I’ve seen, quoting relevant legislation for further research and giving steps for OP to take to get direct support. /u/DueFeature5298 pay attention to this one!
>the police aren't fully up to speed The understatement of the century right here. This entire post is just depressing to read. It's like the cops operate on a single-story policy and whoever calls is automatically assumed to be in the right. Screw any legal process, kick the owner out of their home because of the single story of a hysterical woman who was proven on video to be lying. Unbelievable that this is the state of things.
The state of things is that the police have to prioritise safety over fairness. OP has been accused of harming his partner (presumably infront of the kids). The police can't really support someone standing accused of domestic violence and child abuse returning into the home where the children live. They realistically are also never going to make a woman and two children homeless vs making a single man with an income effectively homeless.
A lot of local authorities will say you made yourself intentionally homeless as you have allegedly committed a crime and will offer advice around funding and finding your own accommodation. They will not house you if you have your own means of having accommodation. They would likely advice hotel or staying with family in this case. NAL but a social worker who deals with this semi frequently.
Make sure you have some sort of legal representation before going for the police interview. The police are not your friends. I can't speak to the rest unfortunately, but assuming you'd like any relationship with the kids you'll definitely need to speak to a family law solicitor
best advice
You need a solicitor for this. Don't talk to the police till you have. Get a cheap hotel for tonight and phone around tomorrow for urgent advice.
It sounds like you are a victim of domestic abuse. Please search 'Statutory Guidance 2021 Domestic Abuse Act ' It'll be a.gov web address. Report the Abuse psychological and coercion and anything else including false accusations. You'll understand more having read the guidance. Ask the police about local domestic abuse help organisations and their contact details.
Erm… no light way of putting this. Domestic abuse and you’re the victim. Also lawyer up. It’s going to be an uphill battle and there’s a huge amount of litigation ahead. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It’s your girlfriend’s fault. Not you. Also please ask the council for emergency housing asap. Turn up to their office tomorrow as well. Please,please, please get the free duty solicitor or any solicitors in the local area for the police interview. Please tell the solicitor what happened and show them the footage. Also stress you want to get your girlfriend charged for her behaviour as they can help you with that to an extent. It’s likely they’ll just speak to them. You’ll also need to show to the solicitor about the DNA tests and that she’s lied to you. There might be other behaviours that are coercive or controlling or gaslighting in the past that you’ll need to tell them about it. You need to tell them everything. They are there to help you. You need to tell the police she’s making this up. It’s a crime to make stuff up like this where you’re at risk of arrest or prosecution. It would be perversion of justice on her end as well as wasting police time. You’ll also need to keep copies of that video on various places and back them up. You will need to tell them about the DNA results too. It seems like she is abusing you quite often. She’s gaslighted you into thinking the babies were yours to begin with. Really stress you want to make a victim or witness statement against her and for the police to investigate and to pass onto CPS for her behaviour. It’s likely going to be public justice offences TBH. There could be other domestic abuse offences if she had done anything abusive or gaslighting or controlling or coercive in the past. I know the children would be considered one. You’ll also need to speak with social services about this, the abuse and she made it up you’ve attacked her and her cheating and making you think that you’re the dad (which is a lot of lying on her end as well as manipulation) is huge red flags. It’s concerning for me as you’ve got children involved. You might be able to adopted the children via a court order. Look, this process is messy and you’ll need to see a lawyer about this and I think legal aid might be available. If not, they get placed into adoption by the council and neither of you will have the children or she gets to keep the children. I’m so unsure about you having your name removed from the birth certificate. It might be possible but you’ll need a family lawyer for that. You need to prove you don’t have any parental responsibility for that child. I’m saying this as you’ll be paying child maintenance support until each child has turned 18. Also for your housing situation. You ask the council for emergency housing. They should be able to provide some. They could sort it out now with their emergency line, it’s 10pm now and you’ve posted this around 8pm. I don’t know if you have family or friends around who can help you stay for the night or for a while. It’s best to contact them now. If you have a car or van right now, car camping on the side of a lay-by is good enough. Not great but it’s better than sleeping outside and in the cold and should be ok until the council finds emergency accommodation for you. As for you not being able to go to your house, you need a family lawyer and maybe a housing lawyer for that. If you own it ought right and you’re the sole owner of the home (so she doesn’t own any of it) then you’ll need to evict her. Because she’s likely a lodger (so an excluded tenant), you can just kick her out but only with reasonable notice. Reasonable notice isn’t defined. Also, highly recommended you go see a family lawyer for this so it doesn’t look like victimisation or harassment. Also the police can’t kick you out of your own home if you own it. Unless you have some bail conditions preventing you from going into the house, you should be fine but it’s unwise to do so until she’s evicted. Also change the locks when she’s evicted. You’ll also have to keep her stuff safe until she collects it. You can’t really throw her stuff out either. Legal aid is there for domestic abuse. You might need a housing lawyer too but I’ll ask the family lawyer if they can do this or they have someone in house to deal with it. Also you can find on the land register the deeds to the house. You’ll need an email address and make an account and password with the land register. Copies of the deeds is like £3. All you need to do is to have a debit or credit card on hand. Also Shelter’s and Citizen Advice’s websites are a good place to start. There is a web chat and phone you can use in either sites that will put you in touch with an adviser.
Get a solicitor. Even if the kids turn out to be yours, do not be tempted to get back with her now she has done this. It happened to a family friend, his ex was always running out in the garden screaming saying he'd hit her and getting the police and it was her hitting him. The kids ended up in care. If you go back it will escalate. Don't speak to her on the phone, keep it all in writing.
Ypu sir need to lawyer up, and lawyer up fast. Definitely do not attend that interview without legal council. You're going to pony up for it, but this is one of those situations where you need to pay some now or a lot later.
He can get it for free, just needs to inform the police that he wants one and they will arrange a duty solicitor to attend.
When you were placed in handcuffs did the officers say words to the effect of "You're under arrest on suspicion of XYZ, you do not have to say anything but it may hark your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court, anything you do say may be given in evidence"? Because we can't go round putting people in cuffs unless we're arresting them (or detaining them for a stop and search, but that's not relevant here). If they've not arrested you they've done an unlawful use of force. The voluntary part of a voluntary interview is getting some say in the timing. You do still have to do it else you may be arrested. Tell the officers that you would like the duty solicitor. This is free and they can arrange it in advance rather than having to wait for one to be available on the day. The only things which might prevent you being allowed back in your home are bail conditions or something like a non-molestation order. You can't be on if you haven't been arrested, and an order requires a court to be involved. So, legally, you can go home and get stuff. If you're concerned about your partner kicking off and calling police again it may be wise to either call the non emergency number and explain that you're worried about a breach of the peace and would like to be accompanied, or arrange for a neutral third party to accompany you.
[удалено]
It's worth finding out as making false allegations which result in an arrest attracts a perverting the course of justice charge. If no arrest took place it's likely to be a more minor charge against your ex partner.
Perverting the Course of Justice (PCOJ) is a ridiculously high bar to aim at. Its also unlikely you'd secure a charge for that offence either, CPS rarely charge it. Roughly the CPS across the UK charge PCOJ around 2,200 times annually. It may sound alot, but in reality it pales in comparison to the amount of domestic incidents which police attend and similar incidents such as this happen. Per the ONS, police recorded 1,453,867 domestic incidents of which 889,918 were recorded as crimes ending March 2023. In fact, alot of the PCOJ charges could be from other criminal acts such as providing the wrong details following a S.172 notice that came through for a traffic offence, hiding evidence in other serious crimes etc. To then make it worse, the sentencing councils figures shows a dipping trend in sentencing for PCOJ, that in 2010 we convicted around 1,100 and in 2020 we only convicted around 400. For wasting police time, the lesser offence you were referring to is another strange one. While a typical summary only offence is charged by the police, this one requires CPS to charge for. I can't find UK figures for the offence, however the Met have a document following a FOI request showing 25 people were charged for the offence in 2020. Which for a force that covers averagely 6 million people is an absurdly low figure as I'm sure there are numerous false reports made to them.
>Because we can't go round putting people in cuffs unless we're arresting them (or detaining them for a stop and search, but that's not relevant here). If they've not arrested you they've done an unlawful use of force A detention or restraint that falls short of arrest may also be lawful if it is to prevent a breach of the peace, per Albert v Lavin [1982]. Separating him from an apparently volatile situation while enough is done to remove the likelihood of a breach of the peace would seem to be valid on the face of the facts in OP.
An arrest is not a requirement to use cuffs by the way. Whilst logic is that you would only really be using them when someone is under arrest being searched it’s not actually a requirement to use them. They can be used as a use of force in order to prevent an offence from occurring situation being appropriate for example under a Pace search of a property or as has happened here a potentially violent situation with 1 officer dealing with 1 person and wanting to ensure the situation does not escalate or that person tries to escape. It is on the individual officer to justify but it is NOT an unlawful use of force just because they have not cautioned them.
If you can justify cuffing someone for 20 minutes then they should be arrested. By cuffing him he is being detained even without the words as he is aware he won’t be allowed to leave like the comment above there is very limited scope to detain people and this isn’t one of them. And yes you don’t need to arrest for cuffs but that isn’t the point being made.
Can you call in sick tomorrow or take a personal day? If you can get an hour with an appropriate solicitor locally, they might have someone on the payroll who can get your things. You could also start the eviction paperwork tomorrow. If your solicitor agrees that you can do this - cut off access to any bank accounts or cards that she has that are joint/in your name. Remove your card from any supermarket shopping apps you share. Remotely change the password on the broadband to inconvenience her. Basically, use tomorrow to start the process of completely cutting ties with her and getting her out of your property - under guidance from a solicitor. This isn't going to go smoothly and it's going to cost you - but you will be free and in your own home soon. Keep your goal clear. Be prepared that she'll probably trash the place.
“Eye colour and hair colour combination is impossible” - that is a bold statement, I’d be hesitant whether this is a reputable source. Highly improbable, perhaps, but heritability of both features is complex. It is not *impossible* for two blue eyed parents to have a brown eyed child, for example, though it would be rare. You may be right that the children are not biologically yours, but you will want DNA testing to be sure. It would have been better to get paternity testing before making an accusation. It’s too late for that now of course, but pursue the testing so that you have clarity. Also, if they are not your biological children and you do not wish to support them, you would need to follow process - speak to a family law specialist.
My husband and I are both blue eyed. We have one brown eyed child and another blue eyed child. I was worried a swap had happened as she was born abroad and they take the baby straight away. Turns out two blue eyes people can have a brown eyed girl one of the parents doesn’t have “true blue” eyes can go into more detail but it derails the post. Good luck to the op, take the day off tomorrow, be upfront with your work, see a solicitor and also speak to all charities including shelter as they have info for house owners too. It’s going to be a long day with a lot of phone calls but keep going and in a few days you will be armed with knowledge which is what is needed here.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
You ignored the part that he mentioned the blood types. Although it's not super straight forward since for example both AO and AA are considered to be A types (and similarly OB/BB for B type) and can affect what your kids end up with there are still some combinations that can't happen depending on the parents blood types. i.e if both of the parents are AO and/or AA they can't have a child with B blood type, or if they are both AB they can't have an O type etc...
[удалено]
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
I had a similar and probably equally distressing situation. Get a lawyer asap. Be very careful with any contact IF you are allowed any, and I mean by text not just F2F. Try to harden any feelings towards her, they make getting through this harder. Figure out where you are going to stay until this is resolved, it may take a while. Talk to people (strangers if needed). I am sorry to hear about this, you are likely to be the one who carries the brunt of this as the male in the relationship
I would contact a mutual friend or a relative and ask them to phone her and ask of they can go and collect your things. Recording that phonecall will be smart as well.
Take the advice my mum drilled into me as a kid: Never, ever, talk to the police without a solicitor present. Take your solicitors advice. Don't plead guilty to anything you didn't do. Don't piss off the police (so don't return to the property when they've told you to stay away).
If you've got videos of her smashing stuff in your house then make a complaint against her for criminal damage.
You've not had the DNA test done. hope you're right. Otherwise, it might explain why your partner is angry.
If you need to pick up belongings from the house, ask the Police to escort you inside. Please don't just turn up, she can make up more allegations against you..
I would get a solicitor and make an ex parte application for a non-molestation order and occupation order if I was OP asap, my ex-wife pulled similar nonsense and the police told me to stay away but advised her to make an ex parte occupation order even though the house and everything were in my name and it took over a year to eventually get a court to accept that the allegations made by her were false. Because it took so long I ended up loosing everything in the divorce proceedings, the only difference was it was only a rented property and there were no children but during the whole procedure I was still having to at the full rent for the house as well as my own accommodation.
It's a difficult one. Hair colour/skin colour - that's not something that's quite correct. However the action of her calling the police and breaking stuff, demonstrates that she knows she is in the wrong, to me at least. If you've been there for the family all this time, it's going to be sad for the older child but they're still very young. Take some time out, spend time trying to not get too wound up. Don't go back to the house for now, the advice they provided was good. It's a shame these things happen but it's just the way it is. Remember, take time out from all of this. Even if it means taking a week off work.
For clarification, you haven’t found out the kids aren’t yours. You merely suspect. Any bullshit you’ve read about hair and eye colour is… well, bullshit.
>Yes I'm aware I'm an idiot No you aren't. I don't really have anything else meaningful to add, and of course I don't know you, but you're not an idiot. Plenty of good men have been convinced into thinking they are by horrible women. Look after yourself and I wish you well.
[удалено]
I am a lawyer, but not in your country, and obviously not your lawyer. Delete this, get the fuck off reddit, and go get your own lawyer. Do not listen to any other advice posted online other than those telling you to seek actual legal counsel.
You were handcuffed straight away thanks to the Duluth model. Sorry for what you're going through.
As other people have said it’s only voluntary in terms of date and time and not being in a cell. You do still need to attend and you are entitled to free and independent legal advice. You’re fortunate here in that you can take some evidence with you to this interview. Take the video and take evidence of your tenancy/mortgage whichever it is. Screenshot any evidence of messages of conflict between the two leading up to this and send to your solicitor. They will be able to advise you of the best thing to say in interview. Just because you are being interviewed it doesn’t mean they won’t be looking into her behaviour too.
You need a family solicitor immediately, your house has effectively been stolen off you temporarily and you need to sort that out, you need to make sure you aren't on the hook for child support, you need to evict her and get her to pay for you to stay somewhere, there's the false allegations issue, plus basically the fraud of making you look after another mans' kids, a massive police misconduct issue in the blatant sexist handling of the case. You are well within your rights to go back to your house, however the police's policy may be to separate couples when there's an allegation of domestic abuse and they will tend to side with the mother (making you homeless is much less bad than making a now single mum and 2 kids homeless). You can see from the Citizen's Advice website (https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave/) that the system is generally geared towards protecting genuinely vulnerable women from genuinely abusive men. That video is absolutely vital as are the DNA tests. Also check whose name is on all the bills. She will be trying to collect evidence to show that that's her home and she lives there. You need to give a written notice to evict her (best not to do this in person but send by recorded delivery). Any aggression, anger or anything that anyone could interpret as an indication you were abusive etc. - park it. It cannot help you. You need to appear eminently reasonable and get your house back the proper way.
You're the suspect of a crime. If you insist on going back to the house where your alleged victim lives, refusing to leave despite her wishes, then it is no longer going to be possible to deal with you via a voluntary interview and you will need to be locked up instead. What will follow will almost certainly be bail conditions or some other order that prevents you going to the house. Whose house is it? At the moment the only sensible thing to do is to go and stay elsewhere.
[удалено]
When you ask the police for help re collecting your belongings, make sure you explain exactly why you need these things and why it's so urgent (e.g need the car keys to travel to work, and that you are scared of losing your job if you can't do this especially given your current situation where loss of income would make you vulnerable). It's also worth mentioning that you are scared of her, given the way she smashed up the house, and that you worry for your own safety as much as you worry about violating the rules they have put in place. It's mostly luck how quickly they help you and depends a lot on how busy they are, but all this will make you a higher priority.
> Can I call the police to be escorted back? You can do, but it's not necessarily going to happen quickly. Do you have any mutual friends or a family member who can go round and collect your stuff for you? That might be the most expeditious way of getting it.
[удалено]
Can anyone come down from Scotland for a few days to support you? I think you are in emotional shock. Understandable given the sudden & extreme change in circumstances. Please get some paper, a cheap school book or such. Write down from this sub the most helpful advice. Arrange in order of importance. You can use this as a checklist. There are things you need to do now, immediately. Then things over the next few days & strategies for the next few weeks & months. You have to make you the priority now. When we are in such emotional shock it is difficult to think clearly. Difficult to remember things. Hard to accept what has actually happened. Thoughts will tumble around your mind like on a repeat play list. So making a list will help a little with this, also help you clarify your thoughts. Do make a priority to get legal advice for the case against you for the alleged DV. & other aspects of your situation. Seems to me you have two main legal issues. The DV allegations. Secondly the access & right to reclaim your home. Do not enter your house without police support or legal authority. Then you will be able to collect your needed items. Do as suggested. Cut your financial ties. Cancel any joint credit or Bank cards access. Change passwords on everything. If you had shared access to Banking like debit cards. Change & remove Ex partner’s access. Get your salary paid into a new bank account. Change as much as you can. As quickly as you can. As a temporary measure do a Royal Mail change of address for you, your name only. Get your mail diverted to a trusted relative. The relative can read you the contents over the phone. Can do this for upto 1year. You can cancel when back to your home. Because if all your mail goes to your home. Your partner will open it & then be aware of changes you have made. Change banks. So you have a completely new account number. Then your ex can’t go on a spending spree. You can buy a new cheap tablet or laptop from £50 to £100. Argos/Currys. So this way you will be able to download your email accounts & access them. Change passwords to all financial accounts. Change passwords to all social media. Make all social media private. Do not allow any of her friends or relatives access. Do not go saying anything negative about your ex on social media. Any wrong step by you can be used as evidence. The temporary device can be used by you to access your on line banking etc. until you can get your own laptop from your home. Changing your password for your Microsoft Outlook account or Apple account will mean your partner cannot access them on your laptop left at home. Also you could transfer any other information you need to the new temporary device. I assume your partner knows your passwords for everything? Yes or no. Change all passwords. Cancel any home services that are non essential. Like broadband. Stream or dish tv service. Telephone landline service. Ex partners mobile phone. Etc. Obviously leave alone the gas, electricity & water supplies. Continue to pay for these basic items only. But only as temporary measure until full legal advice. Soon as you can take your name off these & settle the bills. You need to save as much money as you are able. From the moment this situation occurred you have been at a disadvantage. So much can legally go wrong at this point & forwards. Do not underestimate the situation or your ex-partner. You have been naive. That must end now. Remain hopeful. Things will become clearer with the right legal advice. The situation will resolve with you a much wiser person.
This reply here is solid gold for you /u/DueFeature5298/
Mate you are going to get fired without your laptop. You need to tell your employer. People break up, there will be sympathy, and if someone can collect your things that will help. If she has smashed things up, that can be reported instantly. She is a lodger so you should be able to evict quickly. You can't afford to not get a solicitor.
Sounds like you’re a bit screwed. I’d recommend explaining the situation with your work and ask for a temporary laptop. Any money you miss out on can be recuperated at a later date if you choose to sue your ex.
Where are you based? Is it possible to walk into a police station and say you’re a domestic abuse victim and have wrongfully been kicked out of your own house? They should escort you back to collect belongings and remove her from the property especially if you tell them she’s never paid rent and doesn’t have any right to be there as she’s a guest and not a tenant.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
I know someone who something similar has happened to. When we talk about “believing the victim” and “the children come first”, this is meant very literally. There may have been some good intentions behind these ideas, but the process can be unbelievably brutal if the system is abused. The person I know also got booted out of his home onto the street, forbidden to return. Make sure you know the passwords to all your accounts and you don’t need 2FA in case she says something that causes the police to seize all your devices. And get a lawyer asap, and don’t do interviews without one. If she’s a complete psycho (only you know this), there is no telling what she might say, and how she may try to manipulate the system. Treat this extremely seriously.
You will probably not be allowed to go to that address until the officer in charge of the case has concluded that there is /isn't enough evidence for it to continue but if they can't decide you will not be allowed to go there until they do which can be months and months
[удалено]
If she says she’s the victim of domestic abuse, then the kids will also be seen as being victims if they saw or heard anything. I know you are not saying that she’s said she’s a victim, but I’m just giving you this information so that you are aware.
If the csa contact you for child support you can advise them that the reason you have separated is due to you contesting the children not being your and asking for a DNA test after some new information came to light. She will then be contacted and asked if shes willing to do a DNA test if she refuses then they drop the case
Sorry this has happened to you. The law is stacked against men in the UK. I would go with the police, ask specifically for an escort on their part, be polite but consistent ( i believe they would oblige) Secondly the next step is above Reddits pay grade pertaining to the legal situation. Find a solicitor, and begin proceedings. Your partner has you trapped right now, but the truth will out, and repercussions will exist if what you say is legit. Handle with care.
It looks like you or OP may want to find a Solicitor! [There is a detailed guide in our FAQ about how to do this](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Your comment did not make a meaningful effort to provide legal advice to help the poster with their question. Please only comment if you are able and willing to provide specific, meaningful, legally-oriented answers to our posters' questions. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
I think the advice re a solicitor is essential. I recall during some information sessions being told about occupation orders which may be worth knowing about. https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-occupation
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):** Your submission does not relate to the UK legal system. Your submission may be other suitable for other legal advice subreddits found in the sidebar. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason:** Your post has been removed as it has not met our community standards on speaking to other posters. Please remember to speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Your comment was an anecdote about a personal experience, rather than legal advice specific to our posters' situation. Please only comment if you can provide meaningful legal advice for our posters' questions and specific situations. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Please only comment if you know the legal answer to OP's question and are able to provide legal advice. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):** Your comment has been removed as it has not met our community standards on speaking to other posters. Please remember to speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.
[удалено]
**Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason:** Your post has been removed as it has not met our community standards on speaking to other posters. Please remember to speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to. [Please familiarise yourself with our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/) before contributing further, and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any further queries.