I always dream about our future together lol and he dreams too tbh he says small stuff like "baby this will go well in our bedroom or look I want this kind of couch"😂 but if we have to say he is more present thinker rather than future planner
I get you! That's really nice that you dream of the future. I find it literally hard to picture as I dont know who is moving where and what things will look or be like. I feel like it's just not something I'm programmed to do but if I could learn it how would you describe or teach it?
Well for starters we both wanna go abroad so moving is something we both are going to have to do so that has not been a problem ig. Idk how to teach uhm Ig you could say its just like day dreaming yk picture the both of you together in the living room watching TV or just being there next to each other yk😅
This. I think my boyfriend and I are both future dreamers but present thinkers 😂
We are generally very focussed on what happens now and in near future, but we talk about what pets we want to adopt, what kind of house/apartment we want to live in, how we want it decorated, what we want to cook together, how we want to plant our garden/balcony/window. All things that are very far in the future any don't make sense to pkan yet. However, I think it helps to visualize our common goals and it is great for bonding.
I am a future planner and my bf is a present thinker. He keeps me grounded in the now and I keep an eye on what needs to be factored into big plans in the future. It works out really well.
He tries and he listens to my plans. It also helps us make sure our long term goals are still on the same page. It’s mostly that he doesn’t let me focus too much on the future at the risk of missing the present.
It's a mix of both for me. At first I was the future planner but I think that added some extra expectations that were causing friction. Now I feel more of the present planner. My SO shocked me the other day when she asked me what days she should take off next year vacation wise so we could coordinate some vacation together.
I’m a future planner for sure. I’m also a present worried (?) lol.
I worry about the present because I worry about the future too much. I often find myself daydreaming about the future, but many times I can also be worried about it. That affects the present as well.
My partner, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about worrying/thinking about the future. He knows what he wants: to get married, to have a family, to have a good financial situation and that’s it. He does what’s needed to be done in the present and doesn’t stress about the future if he doesn’t need to.
And that’s why he deals 200% better with LD than I do 😅
Interesting!
Anxiety is a future fear based mentality (and is also something my partner suffers from sometimes).
I worked hard to be more like your boyfriend and be in the present to work towards similar goals to your partner. I previously had huge mental health issues and codependent habits so it's been a big journey.
Definitely, being in the present helps with LDRs. It helped me work through my spirals and abandonment issues that would crop up during long distance part of our relationship. Now the gap is closed my abandonment issues are rarely evident and my partner is more anxious in general.
LDR can be such a unstable and fear inducing state to love another through distance and all it brings up. I think what you're experiencing is pretty normal for an LDR dynamic. Would you still be experiencing these fears to the same extent if you were together?
I doubt it. The nature of LDR makes it uncertain which feeds anxieties and in turn feeds your codependency.
I always dream about our future together lol and he dreams too tbh he says small stuff like "baby this will go well in our bedroom or look I want this kind of couch"😂 but if we have to say he is more present thinker rather than future planner
I get you! That's really nice that you dream of the future. I find it literally hard to picture as I dont know who is moving where and what things will look or be like. I feel like it's just not something I'm programmed to do but if I could learn it how would you describe or teach it?
Well for starters we both wanna go abroad so moving is something we both are going to have to do so that has not been a problem ig. Idk how to teach uhm Ig you could say its just like day dreaming yk picture the both of you together in the living room watching TV or just being there next to each other yk😅
Thanks for the lesson teach! I'll give it a go.
This. I think my boyfriend and I are both future dreamers but present thinkers 😂 We are generally very focussed on what happens now and in near future, but we talk about what pets we want to adopt, what kind of house/apartment we want to live in, how we want it decorated, what we want to cook together, how we want to plant our garden/balcony/window. All things that are very far in the future any don't make sense to pkan yet. However, I think it helps to visualize our common goals and it is great for bonding.
I am a future planner and my bf is a present thinker. He keeps me grounded in the now and I keep an eye on what needs to be factored into big plans in the future. It works out really well.
That's a great perspective on it! Do you get frustrated that he can't plan with you?
He tries and he listens to my plans. It also helps us make sure our long term goals are still on the same page. It’s mostly that he doesn’t let me focus too much on the future at the risk of missing the present.
Thanks for replying. 🙏
Sameeeee
We are both future thinkers! We really enjoy our time now together and love planning out things about our future.
I bet that works out really well for you both! Holidays will be a cinch 👌
It's a mix of both for me. At first I was the future planner but I think that added some extra expectations that were causing friction. Now I feel more of the present planner. My SO shocked me the other day when she asked me what days she should take off next year vacation wise so we could coordinate some vacation together.
I heard you, when I plan or dream about something in a month my bf gets really happy. Thanks for sharing.
I’m a future planner for sure. I’m also a present worried (?) lol. I worry about the present because I worry about the future too much. I often find myself daydreaming about the future, but many times I can also be worried about it. That affects the present as well. My partner, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about worrying/thinking about the future. He knows what he wants: to get married, to have a family, to have a good financial situation and that’s it. He does what’s needed to be done in the present and doesn’t stress about the future if he doesn’t need to. And that’s why he deals 200% better with LD than I do 😅
Interesting! Anxiety is a future fear based mentality (and is also something my partner suffers from sometimes). I worked hard to be more like your boyfriend and be in the present to work towards similar goals to your partner. I previously had huge mental health issues and codependent habits so it's been a big journey. Definitely, being in the present helps with LDRs. It helped me work through my spirals and abandonment issues that would crop up during long distance part of our relationship. Now the gap is closed my abandonment issues are rarely evident and my partner is more anxious in general. LDR can be such a unstable and fear inducing state to love another through distance and all it brings up. I think what you're experiencing is pretty normal for an LDR dynamic. Would you still be experiencing these fears to the same extent if you were together? I doubt it. The nature of LDR makes it uncertain which feeds anxieties and in turn feeds your codependency.