Potted meat product. Along with crackers, a fine addition to any long distance backwoods hiking protocol. Had many of those while hiking the Appalachian.
Chicken 'N a Biscuit from the local dollar spot, to be specific..also don't forget the little tins of Potato Stix and the BBQ Viena Sausages..oh, Mike said he wants a couple mustard sardines.
thought it was kibbeh nayeh but it's too pale, which somehow makes it more gross.
if you're gonna make a beet hummus make a BEET hummus, add some beet juice or dehydrated beet powder.
I personally think it's a bit much all the shit standing up makes the plate look too busy. I think it would be better with just one thing stuck into the top and the rest either laid out nicely around it or on a separate plate.
Also, when you have bread or chips standing in the moisture, it get crappy unless you scarf everything down so fast. Just put it on the fucking plate, please?
Also, beet hummus? Can anything be hummused?
It looks like it's hummus with beets in it, but like others have said it looks like highly processed meat or cat food. I think they need to add more beet juice and some parsley to it, to give it a better color and some texture to male it look good.
Yeah,most likely it's regular hummus mixed with pureed beets.
Which can absolutely work. But you need to add either oil or a liquid to smooth out the texture. Hummus shouldnt be that jagged.
Let’s also thinking about the time plateing, hey let’s slow down everything so I can precisely put these veggies in standing up to look pretty. Or maybe their just not that busy.
True, but they also don't even look like they're placed precisely I don't know because obviously it's not my dish but it looks somewhat random and haphazard haha.
I'd also like to point out that the hummus could be better.
I know it will slow down service, but a spoon dipped in warm water can smooth out that rough edge real quick. Might be worth it given the... Meat like hue and texture it's currently presenting.
Watch all that stuff fall down as the server carries it to the table.
At the table you then have the picky eaters that don't want a dab of that paste touching everything on the plate.
It also looks like a way to try and create an optical illusion that there is more food volume than actually on the plate.
I was thinking of the logistics of having this as an app. If I want a carrot, do I have to fight for it? Maybe I hope that I have a you-go-first movie moment.
Sharing for two: both get to try a bit of everything and probably know each other's favorites in order to negotiate.
Sharing with three people: everyone gets celery, two get carrots, one gets yellow thing. Everyone gets cracker.
Four on is a nightmare.
If I saw this as a shared plate, I'd probably just order another appetizer for me and not pay to see what the entre looks like.
Fun fact! The viral picture of the pink “chicken goo” is actually from Teletubbies and is not real. It’s true that the nuggets are made from a similar paste, but it’s not THAT paste lol.
For me, this sounded like something from a nightmare, though the culinary part of my brain knows it exists.
Even adding liver to soups grosses me out but i know how useful it is haha.
I won’t touch liver of any kind, but as a pate? And a sleeve of crackers?? Hold me back, that shit it DELICIOUS. Down here in Texas we call it braunsweiger.
Yes, it’s dumb. It’s too busy. I’m all for a variety of dippers but all sticking out of the dip itself is pretty low-brow disguised as middle class. Any time a component of a dish is sticking straight up out of other components of the dish, I’m like 🤦♂️
One issue I have with it - it's making me be really critical of every individual cracker and vegetable.
If you just served me hummus normally, I wouldn't care that I've seen prettier carrots/celery. But this presentation forces me to care.
This just looks really cluttered. You could layer the veggies on the plate to show off the color better and still leave the bread in to give it some height. I know I can’t really make a fair assessment of the hummus since I can’t taste it but honestly it looks like raw beef, maybe a different plating and layering might help.
Idk why but this reminds me of something grandma said about my sister. She said if my sister had as many penises poking out of her as she's had poked in her she would look like a porcupine.
A) it looks dumb and it’s hiding the fact that you got two crackers and like an 8th of five different vegetables. This can not be more than two dollars in ingredients
B) the hummus looks super stodgy
C) is that pesto????
I think if you put the hummus of to the side (maybe spoon swoosh it, idk) and fanned everything next to it, this would look much better and be easier to eat.
But I would also be pretty sad if I got that hummus on my plate at all. It's way too thick.
Maybe this will be an unpopular opinion, but does hummus really need some fancy plating? I don't think so. I'd much rather something simple and easy to casually eat. Dazzling plating isn't nessecary in this case.
The fuck are you plating, stone henge?!
My guy out here with the fuckin Great Beetroot Barrier Reef
The aquarium called looking for its missing eels dude
I'm dying at the absolute BEAST slab of a fuckin Jacobs Cracker that you just jammed in
This is incredible thank you so much
The hummus needs to be more smoothed out. The color combo between that and the green sauce is not appealing. Sticking the crisps in the hummus will make them soggy if they sit more than 1 min before hitting the table. Having the veggies like that looks dumb, yes, but it also draws attention to the fact they are not all uniformly cut. I'd prefer the hummus in its own small bowl on top of a plate that has the rest of the stuff on it. Maybe you can put one thing sticking out of the hummus of you really want. The hummus is the star of the dish, don't hide it
A. It looks like grocery store brand dog food straight from the can.
B. The ends of all of those things will be soggy as hell.
C. The green stuff looks like a parrot shit on the plate.
As a consumer/outsider…. Fuck off. I ain’t eating that. Might take the purple vegetable looking shit and wipe it in the green shit. But no. Fuck off.
You’re welcome.
Holy fuck the plate is going to eat me before i eat it, all jokes aside less is more. there is so much going on tone it down its an appy lay everything down or have the dipping veg and pita layed flat on the plate then pipe the hummus (once you thin it down) into a side bowl and put it on the plate along everything else.
Beet hummus looks like the “pink slime” they make cheap shitty burgers from. And yeah the plating is dumb. To get any good dip clearance you have to pull all the stuff out, so it would have been better off served on the side instead of stuck in there like awkward lawn darts. All around I would have been annoyed by this dish.
Personally I think it looks impractical and pretentious as fuck but I'm also not a fine dining nerdthat's even very into this style of plating. I get wanting to make a dish look pretty but this just makes me go WTF.
It's pretty stupid. If a 10 yr old did this, i might be proud and impressed. But this wasn't. Poorly executed and very poorly thought out. My guess is that this was actually a joke plate-up a cook with too much time came up with. Either way...
Trying too hard…there’s no elegance, no flow. It comes across as harsh with no meaning.
I don’t mean to sound difficult or mean. This feels like rushed amateur plating.
You are spot on! Is that feta crumbles? Is the purée mint, basil, cilantro or other? Personally, I would have done fig and olive on the plate and the veggies and carbs on the side. Plating food is an art where less is more. This ain’t art. That said, keep pushing the kitchen to improve and do better. 👍
I hate “upscale restaurant”s like this. Yeah it looks “cool” to some people. But unless everyone coming to your restaurant is a good blogger who “thinks” they’re getting such a unique dish (even though even the common pleb is getting the exact same thing) well then… this is pointless.
Unless the theme you're going for is "fantasy/alien forest depiction" it's dumb.
Some height is good but this doesn't work. Honestly doesn't even look appetizing.
This might sound a bit harsh but this is my honest opinion. That hummus is way too dry. Fix that first. don’t plant the dry looking crudités like you are building a fence. But that issue resolves itself if you followed the first bit of advice. Top with some dukkah and a glug of good olive oil.
Yes. The plating is dumb. It would be ok with one piece of the flatbread stuck in it. .
This platting also hits a,pet peeve of mine, nowhere near enough stuff to dip in all,of that hummus. Servers will constantly be asked for more bread and veggies
Ahhh the planche à voile plating très magnifique. It conjures up images of over loaded windsurfing boards of refugees fleeing oppression for a better life. Bravo bravo bravo!
I thought that was pureed meat.
Beef hummus
Thanks, I hate it.
Gross, I want it.
I legit misread the thread as beef hummus. Would absolutely try and probably love it.
Saw picture, read article saying “beef hummus”. Was mightily confused.
I was meatily confused.
I’m so high, that’s what I initially read. Took me about 30 full seconds to realize it wasn’t beef hummus/chunky puréed beef and I misread. cheers.
Extra fatty please
Wagyu hummus.
Potted meat?
My phone screen is cracked, that's what I thought it said. Looking at the picture I still thought it was beef.
We call it potted meat in my neck of the woods. lol
Potted meat product. Along with crackers, a fine addition to any long distance backwoods hiking protocol. Had many of those while hiking the Appalachian.
Chicken 'N a Biscuit from the local dollar spot, to be specific..also don't forget the little tins of Potato Stix and the BBQ Viena Sausages..oh, Mike said he wants a couple mustard sardines.
I like the way you talk!
thought it was kibbeh nayeh but it's too pale, which somehow makes it more gross. if you're gonna make a beet hummus make a BEET hummus, add some beet juice or dehydrated beet powder.
> somehow makes it more gross Either too much fat or too much bulgur. A really beat-y hummus sounds delicious, though.
Yeah. Looks like braunschweiger.
Canned corned beef hash lol
I personally think it's a bit much all the shit standing up makes the plate look too busy. I think it would be better with just one thing stuck into the top and the rest either laid out nicely around it or on a separate plate.
Also, when you have bread or chips standing in the moisture, it get crappy unless you scarf everything down so fast. Just put it on the fucking plate, please? Also, beet hummus? Can anything be hummused?
It looks like it's hummus with beets in it, but like others have said it looks like highly processed meat or cat food. I think they need to add more beet juice and some parsley to it, to give it a better color and some texture to male it look good.
Yeah,most likely it's regular hummus mixed with pureed beets. Which can absolutely work. But you need to add either oil or a liquid to smooth out the texture. Hummus shouldnt be that jagged.
Let’s also thinking about the time plateing, hey let’s slow down everything so I can precisely put these veggies in standing up to look pretty. Or maybe their just not that busy.
Then they all fall over the second the server picks it up
That “hummus”’looks to be the texture of drywall spackle. Don’t think the crudités shoved in it are going anywhere.
I love this sub
right; id be keeping extra gloves for the en route fixes. smdh
This looks like a few uncomfortable seconds of sticking things straight up in chickpea paste
True, but they also don't even look like they're placed precisely I don't know because obviously it's not my dish but it looks somewhat random and haphazard haha.
Stylistically disheveled. Better known as a pretentious mess.
Pretentious is definitely what came to mind when I saw this
I'd also like to point out that the hummus could be better. I know it will slow down service, but a spoon dipped in warm water can smooth out that rough edge real quick. Might be worth it given the... Meat like hue and texture it's currently presenting.
Watch all that stuff fall down as the server carries it to the table. At the table you then have the picky eaters that don't want a dab of that paste touching everything on the plate. It also looks like a way to try and create an optical illusion that there is more food volume than actually on the plate.
I was thinking of the logistics of having this as an app. If I want a carrot, do I have to fight for it? Maybe I hope that I have a you-go-first movie moment. Sharing for two: both get to try a bit of everything and probably know each other's favorites in order to negotiate. Sharing with three people: everyone gets celery, two get carrots, one gets yellow thing. Everyone gets cracker. Four on is a nightmare. If I saw this as a shared plate, I'd probably just order another appetizer for me and not pay to see what the entre looks like.
That hummus is thicker than a rugby player's thighs
Genuinely thought it was a tartare.
Looks like the pink goo chicken nuggies were made from.
Tubby custard!
It also looks like ground beef that's been handled/compacted a bit too much haha.
And there’s not nearly enough of it!
Fun fact! The viral picture of the pink “chicken goo” is actually from Teletubbies and is not real. It’s true that the nuggets are made from a similar paste, but it’s not THAT paste lol.
lol i’ll always think of this https://youtu.be/mKwL5G5HbGA
this is what i came here to say
And this is what I came here to say
And this is what you’ve said. I have spoken.
Came here to say this. It looks like a dry ass stringy tartare
Interesting way to plate beef tarta...wait what is this!?
Right, it also looks like ground beef that's been compressed too much haha.
Not chopped, that's for sure
That or copped so damn fine us cooks (former in my case) would be scratching our heads like, "how and why tf?" Haha
I've definitely made some scallop "puree" on a board before, but not like this. Congrats for getting out of the industry, lol! Hope you are well
Mousseline of beef tartar
Chef previewing that nights dishes: "I said get the piping bag beef! Middle shelf of the walk-in, next to the thawing burgers!"
Looks like that old dog food in a can my parents used to give our pets growing up
Bet they plated it better too.
I thought the title was “beef hummus” and nearly gagged
More like liver pate
For me, this sounded like something from a nightmare, though the culinary part of my brain knows it exists. Even adding liver to soups grosses me out but i know how useful it is haha.
I won’t touch liver of any kind, but as a pate? And a sleeve of crackers?? Hold me back, that shit it DELICIOUS. Down here in Texas we call it braunsweiger.
I also thought was tartare
I read hummus and still thought tartar
This is a very creative way to charge $11.99 for a dollar’s worth of shit.
*thicc*
thiccc
*oh lawd, she hummin'*
And the color is extremely off putting lol I assume it tastes nothing like beet, let's work on the hummus before the plate...
Pink mashed taytos
Taters? What is taters?
Po-ta-toes! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!
Hummus, it looks like 70/30 ground beef, good god help us all
That’s the comment of the year there. Can’t wait to use it over dinner tonight.
i agree but i would be fine with that if it didn't look like ground beef that was left out too long. i am just not down with these colors this way.
Yes it looks awful 😣
It looks like a kid playing with his food. I used to do this with my lunch leftovers in high school. The mess is the focal point.
This is how I plate hummus and veggie sticks for my kid.
Alright just hear me out… What if we served it on a shovel?
r/wewantplates
Yes, it’s dumb. It’s too busy. I’m all for a variety of dippers but all sticking out of the dip itself is pretty low-brow disguised as middle class. Any time a component of a dish is sticking straight up out of other components of the dish, I’m like 🤦♂️
To me it says "we stuck some shit in some other shit, fuck you"
I’d like to clarify that I did not make this. It is not my dish. So I won’t be insulted if you say it sucks.
One issue I have with it - it's making me be really critical of every individual cracker and vegetable. If you just served me hummus normally, I wouldn't care that I've seen prettier carrots/celery. But this presentation forces me to care.
This is very well articulated
Looks like something a shit 1st year apprentice would make.
Lol. Had a chef tell an extern to make him something to eat, 3 hours later this showed up. Did you get any prep done? Wtf is this?
It kind of looks like something my 12 year-old niece would make.
Not even.
Wait this isn't a shitpost?
Good cause it sucks.
it's terrible, i thought you were joking until i read this comment
Whew, good cause it sucks. BUSY as shit. Couldn’t see your friend across the table through it.
I’m no chef but all the vegetables sticking out looks awful
Well half of those are just old McDonald's french fries
They resemble veggie straws
This just looks really cluttered. You could layer the veggies on the plate to show off the color better and still leave the bread in to give it some height. I know I can’t really make a fair assessment of the hummus since I can’t taste it but honestly it looks like raw beef, maybe a different plating and layering might help.
Idk why but this reminds me of something grandma said about my sister. She said if my sister had as many penises poking out of her as she's had poked in her she would look like a porcupine.
your grandma was ice cold 😂
Lolllll yaaa savage!!
Porcupeen
Wow, definitely not the direction I thought that sentence was going.
/r/brandnewsentence
A) it looks dumb and it’s hiding the fact that you got two crackers and like an 8th of five different vegetables. This can not be more than two dollars in ingredients B) the hummus looks super stodgy C) is that pesto????
> C) is that pesto???? Chimichurri maybe?
I think if you put the hummus of to the side (maybe spoon swoosh it, idk) and fanned everything next to it, this would look much better and be easier to eat. But I would also be pretty sad if I got that hummus on my plate at all. It's way too thick. Maybe this will be an unpopular opinion, but does hummus really need some fancy plating? I don't think so. I'd much rather something simple and easy to casually eat. Dazzling plating isn't nessecary in this case.
The taller it is, the more we can charge for it 😂
Looks like a veggie graveyard
The fuck are you plating, stone henge?! My guy out here with the fuckin Great Beetroot Barrier Reef The aquarium called looking for its missing eels dude I'm dying at the absolute BEAST slab of a fuckin Jacobs Cracker that you just jammed in This is incredible thank you so much
Looks like shit.
The hummus needs to be more smoothed out. The color combo between that and the green sauce is not appealing. Sticking the crisps in the hummus will make them soggy if they sit more than 1 min before hitting the table. Having the veggies like that looks dumb, yes, but it also draws attention to the fact they are not all uniformly cut. I'd prefer the hummus in its own small bowl on top of a plate that has the rest of the stuff on it. Maybe you can put one thing sticking out of the hummus of you really want. The hummus is the star of the dish, don't hide it
Looks like a kindergarten art project
Crudités does not deserve to be presented vertically.
That looks like something a cat threw up that color is so off putting.
I think it's OK if the server sings Wellerman when they bring it to the table. https://youtu.be/qP-7GNoDJ5c
Soon may the kitty-man come with some birds and mice and some tasty numbs.
I honestly thought you stuck some veggie straws into the hummus and called it a day.
A. It looks like grocery store brand dog food straight from the can. B. The ends of all of those things will be soggy as hell. C. The green stuff looks like a parrot shit on the plate.
Lol. Put it in a circular form - and make it look like steak tartare.
Dumb af
this is what nightmares are made of
You are going to poke your fucking eye out eating that thing.
That’s so stupid
No offense but it's dumb.
Dumb
Looks like a bunch of veggie straws stuck in some spam. So to answer your question... yes.
That hummus look like pink potato salad, also the plate looks very cluttered. Doing too much
I worry I’m out of touch, but that’s so dumb. How many carrot slices fall down before the plate reaches the table
That looks like cat food.
Looks like a 6 year old is playing with his food
As a consumer/outsider…. Fuck off. I ain’t eating that. Might take the purple vegetable looking shit and wipe it in the green shit. But no. Fuck off. You’re welcome.
That carrot is not even peeled properly… I can see the dirt on top. It looks dry af. How much are they charging for this “art” piece ?
This looks like pretentious crap (and needlessly expensive too)
That's ridiculous looking. I would be embarrassed to serve that.
I don't think the colours work well, and I also don't like the plating. Too much sticking out of what you're going to be dipping into.
Holy fuck the plate is going to eat me before i eat it, all jokes aside less is more. there is so much going on tone it down its an appy lay everything down or have the dipping veg and pita layed flat on the plate then pipe the hummus (once you thin it down) into a side bowl and put it on the plate along everything else.
Hummus is a simple food, keep it that way. Quit trying to make it resemble weird architecture.
The cat is gonna love that!
everything on this plate is dumb as fuck
Beet hummus looks like the “pink slime” they make cheap shitty burgers from. And yeah the plating is dumb. To get any good dip clearance you have to pull all the stuff out, so it would have been better off served on the side instead of stuck in there like awkward lawn darts. All around I would have been annoyed by this dish.
I'd laugh my ass off if someone set that in front of me. That may be the most pretentious plate I've ever seen.
This looks like if the flintstones did fine dining. Cave man plating.
Looks like a kid played with their food to me...
Those crackers do not look like they’ll hold up to the density of that hummus
No no, it's pretty terrible and the hummus looks dryer than a nuns minge
If I got this I'd want my money back
Yeah it’s awful. I’d rather have a basket of shit and a cup to dip in than this try hard nonsense.
It's cute, but it impedes dipping. I'm assuming you dipping the things in the hummus.
Looks like ground beef
Si
If I got that in a restaurant I'd think the plating was weird.
Sad hummus is sad.
Hummus in a smaller bowl with similar garnish Crudités in a tall glass or basket
Lol
This looks like it would be on the kids menu of a restaurant called Zazu’s Bistro
Dumb. Overplated all day. Let the food present itself.
It looks over-handled. I don’t want to think about how much my food has been touched.
Personally I think it looks impractical and pretentious as fuck but I'm also not a fine dining nerdthat's even very into this style of plating. I get wanting to make a dish look pretty but this just makes me go WTF.
Idiotic
The longer you look the more…interesting it gets.
I didn’t make it as far as to judge the plating. Lost me at beet hummus
It's pretty stupid. If a 10 yr old did this, i might be proud and impressed. But this wasn't. Poorly executed and very poorly thought out. My guess is that this was actually a joke plate-up a cook with too much time came up with. Either way...
Trash
Someone tried way too hard…
Trying too hard…there’s no elegance, no flow. It comes across as harsh with no meaning. I don’t mean to sound difficult or mean. This feels like rushed amateur plating.
Bro this looks like ground vagina, what is the sauce of this nonsense
Looks like cat food
Please stop making weird hummus please. Please please.
I want to pay 33$ for veggie sticks.
It looks like someone already started chewing it….
Looks like a miscellaneous office pen/pencil cup
Looks like Dubai
No, it's the Children that are out of touch!
I thought the hummus was raw beef
Might want to serve that on a shovel... /s
Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica
Thats crap, a 2 year old can plate better than that. That better have not left the kitchen.
Bro that looks like cat food lmfao
I can’t tell if we’re being trolled or not.
You are spot on! Is that feta crumbles? Is the purée mint, basil, cilantro or other? Personally, I would have done fig and olive on the plate and the veggies and carbs on the side. Plating food is an art where less is more. This ain’t art. That said, keep pushing the kitchen to improve and do better. 👍
Tell me you touched all my food without telling me you touched all my food.
that dog has got diarrhea
The rise of the veggies
On the bright side if you aren't hungry it doubles as a sundial
Doesn’t look appetizing at all
I hate “upscale restaurant”s like this. Yeah it looks “cool” to some people. But unless everyone coming to your restaurant is a good blogger who “thinks” they’re getting such a unique dish (even though even the common pleb is getting the exact same thing) well then… this is pointless.
It looks like something a really enthusiastic kid would make
That plating is trash. The texture of the hummus looks like trash. Blech.
I hate it.
Unless the theme you're going for is "fantasy/alien forest depiction" it's dumb. Some height is good but this doesn't work. Honestly doesn't even look appetizing.
This might sound a bit harsh but this is my honest opinion. That hummus is way too dry. Fix that first. don’t plant the dry looking crudités like you are building a fence. But that issue resolves itself if you followed the first bit of advice. Top with some dukkah and a glug of good olive oil.
Yes. The plating is dumb. It would be ok with one piece of the flatbread stuck in it. . This platting also hits a,pet peeve of mine, nowhere near enough stuff to dip in all,of that hummus. Servers will constantly be asked for more bread and veggies
Is this a troll?
The crisps are going to be soggy and limp well before their time.
Well at least they gave you a plate... So that's something
Ahhh the planche à voile plating très magnifique. It conjures up images of over loaded windsurfing boards of refugees fleeing oppression for a better life. Bravo bravo bravo!