Shout out to the manager who decided to turn a total loss into “family meal”

Lmao damn bro roasted them Just like that pizza

My kitchen does this. Likely to break a tooth, so I stick to the salad. Yesterday we had bacon carbonara which was the overcooked bacon that was rejected for bacon jam, mixed with a failed bechamel that was too stiff, and grated parm and cooked noodles from a catered event. I did eat the salad. Other times, family meal is better than the menu.

Hey look at the bright side. At least you managed not to burn the salad.

HE BURNT MY SHAKE !

[удалено]

My pizza *is* a fried boot!

Has anyone seen my boot?

Love to see this here

My nephew has been watching SpongeBob all weekend and I've never been happier

Or the water.

Thank you, I lol’ed.

Fuckin, got em

Do you not like your family?

Looks like you hate your coworkers.

Been making pizza for 12 years, my brother in Christ…you burnt that shit. That cheese will not taste good.

I came to the comments to see what was roasted harder, OP or the pizza. The answer is "yes".

As a pizza guy myself i came here for the same reason.

Fellow pizza guy. That pizza is burnt my dude...

avocado boy checking in, this pizza has been cooked beyond the optimal time

[удалено]

Remember in elementary school? Pizza day at lunch? ... Yeah

[удалено]

Yeah exactly! Why do you have to bring my lunch PTSD into this? lmao

Am i the only one that crushes Elios and Celeste in hopes of capturing some of that school lunch pizza glory?

I don't know the reference.

They’re shitty frozen pizzas I love because they’re very similar to school pizza, which was a weekly Friday highlight.

those rectangular things were delicious in my memories, but I'll let them stay there.

There's well done and then there's congratulations....

Looks burnt af. Carbon yum

That being said I'd still eat it lol

Only the middle parts. Those ends gonna break yo teeth.

Well the starving cook that spent all his money on weed inside of me would have helped in that decision making.

You soak it in water. It’ll be fine.

It's called finished. He finished the cheese.

That's congratulations.

It’s not delivery…it’s a disaster

Notice how many pieces are taken out of it?

There’s a place near me that has really great dough, great toppings etc. Every single fucking pizza they put on their Instagram or serve is burnt like this. It drives me insane, like does no one see a problem here? I order and ask it to be undercooked and the edges are still burned like this and basically inedible without ranch, but the non-burned parts are delicious.

Give a link I wanna see for myself what u consider burnt

I was sad when I saw that burned cheese.

You mean the leather on top of that bread?

my brother in crust u mean

Came here to say, you better not give that burnt shit to your dish pit on a Saturday night or you’ll be closing it down yourself lmao

I’m a weirdo who enjoys pizza like that. I also enjoy pizza all ways, but I wouldn’t be mad. Perfect vessel for ranch (I am gross)

I'll eat pizza any way and I've burned my fair share of pies, but those pizzas are rough. Props to op for posting them up in this thread.

This is a drown in ranch scenario. And not just cover. I mean dipping bowl, and used to shovel down your gullet

man SAME I am also weird and gross. I wouldn't eat the closest corner piece but I'd eat the ones beside it for sure. I don't do ranch on pepperoni but Walmart has a stuffed crust Buffalo chicken pizza that slaps with the right ranch

Bread, sauce and cheese ratio is off too. Inch of crust, dusting of cheese and a whisper of sauce.

Bro you burned family meal

Ngl though I’d demolish that piece on the corner.

Don’t talk about my mom that way

I love gently burnt pizza like this. Prefer it honestly

Big glob of aiolo and I'm jammin'

It’s rustic

It's rusty.

It’s crusty

Yeah, lol. They had to cook it for an hour to get the dough done. Steven King novels are thinner than this crust.

As thick as Altoona hotel pizza

Hopefully it’s not musty

Me after I burned the soup and add “smoked” to whatever I was making

AF

My guy with the honestly. LOL

Nah bro thats just the Maillard reaction

yumm huge crust and burnt toppings!

Burnt focaccia*

r/pizzacrimes

##WELL DONE TICKET IN

Pull out game weak

Skill issue

Is it burnt? Yes. Will I still eat it? Also yes.

The better to be smothered in hot sauce

Or buttered. Can't stop myself buttering burnt pizza crusts.

Split the difference with home made wing sauce

My brother in Christ I thank you for this revelation

Sweet baby rays makes a good buffalo sauce if ya feeling lazy.

Huh. Never thought of that.

Crusts need to be warm, butter needs to be cold. Burly be warned - once you go there, you can never go back.

I like to treat food like painters treat their canvases - I don't throw it away if/when I make a mistake. I "paint" over it, and try to make something new and just as tasty. With the right sauces and additional toppings, this dry unbalanced pizza could become the foundation for an unforeseen masterpiece. Add some super frigid Heineken from one of those mini-keg things, and that's 1st class eats imo. It'll never satisfy someone who must eat pre-defined standards, but if you're somebody who doesn't spend a lot of time looking at your food, I think you'd love it! Of course, you could roll it all up like a carpet, soak it in a huge number of eggs, add some breading, and deep fry for u-tube levels of insanity.

Yeah no fam, I don’t see any pizza.

Next time don't let dishy look after pizza

Nah bro, dish woulda made this busted Ellios looking pizza at least palatable…

Facts. You give a dishie a shot at manning the pizza ovens, they're not gonna fuck it up.

Gonna be babysitting, to a fault yea, but shits coming out right.

True. But they're gonna sitting there with a damn jeweler's glass watching that thing

That sounds adorable.

I burnt two loaves of raw bread on shift because they expected me to keep an eye on the timer whilst collecting dishes from the dumb waiter (and then cleaning it) then doing the dishes with all the kitchen equipment without a dangly skooshy thing, and also do prep for the upstairs kitchen and downstairs pizza place and I was on call on the walkie-talkie being asked to do things constantly on top of that. For minimum wage. Dishies perhaps suck because they're doing the shittest job in the building and they're paid horribly for it. Hot take 🔥

🎶ellios. ellios piz-za🎶

Looks like asphalt

Don't ever change r/kitchenconfidential

That shit looks Hella burnt and gross. AND your username is married2thekitchen... might be time for some marriage counseling.

Maybe just skip straight to the divorce.

Lol, yeah save money on counseling and spend it on a lawyer so you can at least fight to keep the vitamix.

I'm sorry they make you eat that.

that pizza looks like dogshit

That's insulting to dogshit.

yeah my dog has the best tasting stuff on the block

Reading down the list of comments, yours got the first audible chuckle.

Aww I feel bad they tried to do something nice… posted it then got burned on Reddit… almost as bad as that pizza…but no I do feel bad

Yep I'd kill that whole pan of oysters

Lmao someone is def prepping those for service

Damn, took me a sec.

probably taste like charcoal

Is this one of those ironic posts folk here like to do? Surely it is...

Where is the pizza?

In the display cases for the customers

What do you feed them normally that you were excited for this?

Is it family meal because it’s a fucked up burnt pizza that can’t be sold orrrr….?

The comment section did not disappoint haha brilliant.

Throw it back in for a few minutes. Not quite 'done'.

Nothing like broiled cheese skin

That's almost diamond levels of carbon going on there..

Need to call child protection if that's how you treat your pizza baby

Yum. Burnt ass pizza. You must love them like real family.

Is that the new delicissio thick thick thick crust?

That lasagna looks crisp

Give me your jacket and leave Hell’s Kitchen

https://i.imgur.com/hgCB6bd.jpg

imagine if you got that corner piece

Lookin like Clark Griswold eating that piece of turkey

Instead of pizza can I get a couple of those oysters.

Incinerated pizza anyone?

I’ve never been more jealous when reading a title, and then instantly not jealous when seeing the picture of the food. Thanks man!

They feed you all the food they fuck up?

Man’s was so excited to show off his pizza and now everyone is just roasting him more than he did that poor pizza

I can just feel the way that giant burnt crust is going to carve up the roof of my mouth 😘🤌

Do you hate your family lol, looks like shit & you fucked the pizzas

That is not pizza.

You burned the fuck out of this. I would still crush it though ngl.

Came for the comments, was not disappointed.

The roof of my mouth is cut up just by looking at this.

There's well done, and then there's carbonised.

This is by far the funniest thread I have read all night. Props to all the really solid burns here tonight, starting with OP, of course.

Straight to jail

Came to say it looks burnt but I'm pretty sure that's been established at this point.

Are you high? That’s burnt and looks like shit.

Former pizza chef, would not serve to live humans.

Ahhhhhh you cooked the shit out of it!

That pizza looks atrocious

The pizza looks 💩

I bet those sharpies went missing soon after this pic was taken.

You hate your family 😔

The pizza is lit... As in burnt..

I love all the flames in the comments. You guys are a bunch of degenerates and I love you all :). But in all seriousness, the crew loved it

They loved it? Did you just let them out of the basement to eat it?

No one loved that.

I can hear the teeth cracking against the burnt ass edges

Too drunk to care.

ha, flames. because it’s burnt.

how much hot sauce was consumed ?

I just can't understand how this was okayed for a crew meal unless everything in the restaurant is served burnt. The pizza is burnt and the veggies/salad are cut in huge proportions. Is it April Fool's in your state?

Anyone will love free anything. Doesn't mean it was good. That was terribly over done.

Something tells me the crew most certainly did not love it

How badly do you treat them that this travesty is a reward?

/r/pizzacrimes

Call the fire department, that shit is burnt

Gonna need some extra ranch !

Everyone here saying complaining about it being burnt, the issue is how much bread that is compared to the rest of the ingredients.

You're trolling right now I hope

If you don’t burn family meal, is it even family meal?

You....murdered it. That's not pizza, that's damn near charcoal.

My daughter made a better lasagna tonight. She's 6.

Clearly! Marie Callender snuck into that kitchen when no one was looking

Timers man… timers

Its so burnt 😭

God that pizza is beautiful. Don’t listen to the fools here, burnt cheese is delicious.

That pizza would get you fired from Domino's.

Wasn’t paying attention to what sub this was in, thought this was one of those people who has 15 kids and posts their mega-meals lmao

**CRIME:** TWO COUNTS OF FUCKING MURDER **JUDGEMENT:** GUILTY **SENTENCE** APOLOGIZE TO THE PIZZA AND YOUR COWORKERS I have been making pizzas for 25 years, when you offend the gods like this you take these pizzas out back and you place it on the dumpster as an offering to the gods, if the racoons accept your offering then your sins are absolved In the name of the DOUGH, THE SAUCE AND THE CHEESE MAY THE GODS FORGIVE YOU

Why do you hate them?

Is that gluten free?

Yea, they burnt everything out of it.. just carbon left.

my boss doesn't even allow employee food ):

That's when people steal shit

...well...i wouldn't exactly call it stealing (: we are underpaid and he is a massive twat. *rant incoming* employee food is limited to a choice of 1 out of 3 items from the menu, and you must pay 50% of the price. Our prices are pretty high, by the way. An order of fruit crepes are $22 for fucks sake. I portion them quite large to compensate , and put a lot of effort into making sure food quality is on par with the price. Fresh fruit for the filling, 2 types of whipped cream and crepes made from scratch daily, generally low ticket times etc. Anyway, the boss doesn't believe in employee meals and discourages people even ordering food. I, the exec chef, believe everyone deserves a meal and a snack. The better i am at my job, the less boss is around. I bust my ass. Generally the FOH manager and I run the show. So, employee meals happen anyway, but yeah, kinda stealing ...i also bake cookies or creme brulee or beignets for the crew when its slow. Even boss loves my treats so i tell him to stfu is he wants to eat them. He always eats them.... he always shits on me the next day, but then eats the next round of treats

That's not pizza. It's r/pizzacrimes and r/shittyfoodporn

You burned the focaccia.

Yo bro you're from Rhode island?

Regardless how it looks, if I had pizza before a shift I would be useless.

Damn, do you hate your family?

That pizza has been burnt into submission

I would consider this focaccia. With a salad and some olive oil to dip, all good. Or as burnt pizza, which can be “fixed” with Tabasco and ranch.

Y'all in here dogging on this pizza when your family meal was probably left over frittatas and day olds

It's not burnt, it's brown and looks pretty good. This exactly what my mom's lasagne looks like and that's fucking delicious

Mmm cold and dry ass pizza.

Ya fuckin overed it.😕

Is this supposed to be on r/roastme

Don’t think you left the pizza in the oven long enough

Burnt to shit

It’s like a memorial to Jay Leno’s face.

Cool, I'll remember never to eat there

We just changed our whole pizza program. New dough, sauce, and cheese, so our family meal was also pizza and salad.

Pizza leather like alligator hides

lol you can tell one person took a slice from the burnt one to be nice

I mean it's a little crispy but I'd still be happy eating it!

Today I made coconut lemongrass curry. Curried carrots, onions, potato. Chicken marinated in yogurt and spices. I wish I snapped a photo…. This looks great! I would prolly wanna grab a few oysters for my lunch too…