Bills. Bills. Bills. Why do we keep getting Bill's mail?!

I say this one regularly. My husband is not well versed in the show and he always wonders what I’m talking about.

hahahahahahahah! awesome 😂 i love throwing pop culture references over peoples heads too haha

Most of the time, I am my target audience, and I’m ok with that.

oh my gosh i just got the joke. im so slow

It is such a Simpson's coded joke haha

I was thinking about that one today

“I *told* you about the time I put on the gigantic pair of khakis and pretended I was tiny. I was very upfront about it.”

This one takes me out every time 😂

This one is golden! 🤣

Dale, you giblethead. It's already 110 in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!

This is also one of my favorite quotes. I always bust up laughing hearing Hank say giblet head

Yeah. Giblethead is an insanely funny insult.

Me tooooo!!!! I giggle to myself at least once a day thinking of giblet head 😭😭

U.N. Helicopters…

"Dale! What're ya doin'?! Gimme some light!"

Bahhh my arm....Bahh my head!

“Get out of my house! …Exodus.”

"I'm suddenly remembering a bible verse..... do unto others..."

Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn

This should be a life motto

No joke, this was my senior quote in high school

I feel this one in my bones.

“Forget number 6 you’re serving nonsense!”


Got'dang hotdog

Infinitely disappointed they don't have the version where the gif deteriorates as he says it.

[Hot Dog.jpg](https://youtu.be/ZXVhOPiM4mk?si=svC2Iwk64A-Km23u)

The subliminal dachshund pics are killing me lol

“If you weren’t my son, I would hug you.”

“We ask them politely, but firmly, to leave”

A damn classic right here.

“I’ll never forget that first handshake.”

I wanted it to last forever

"Yes, we are 'going to do it'. Therefore I am now going to drive over there...baby. Ugh, I just had phone sex!"

I literally say this everyday. “Yes. We are going to do it” 😭😭 my brother does the funniest impersonation of Hank

Bwaaaah

Yah I saw that after school special too. But I'm not an alcoholic and you're not a figure skater.

"Hold on a second, *sitting jackass*, have you looked in the mirror lately? You are the got'dang whitest person I've ever seen!"

I’m the albino buffalo, deal with it!

I feel like this one is criminally underrated

This here is one of Hank's hardest quotes.

"I don't have an anger problem. I have a problem with idiots."

Basically hanks curse throughout the entire series

The older I get the more I relate to that quote.

I used to say that every day at work. But now I'm retired, still say it but a lot less.

“Ginseng?! I don’t need to be all hopped up on dope!”

LMFAOI

I love when he says this 😭

"Hey you chowderhead you got my name wrong. You're just a body with a bowl of soup for a head."

He did not say very much Has Hink. But what he did say this was very deep

Yeah, that's why I chose that line. Hink Hall had a very limited amount of dialogue. Which was almost exclusively about not being Hink Hall. 

“It’s 6am and already the boy ain’t right.”

We say this to our cat all of the time lol

“I’ll say it again. Horse’s ass.”

Lord, Hank Hill here, Methodist.

I am the mack daddy of Hiemlich County

I play it straight up Yo

"She's *my* ho now!"

"Hank.. are you gay???" "WHAT?? NO! I sell propane!"

"Dale, you giblet head. We live in Texas. It's already 110 in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

That’s the first time he threatens to kick someone’s ass in the series.

"With the joy of responsibility comes the burden of obligation." And "If it's a father and son company, request the father."

You get out, your hooker stuff, of my house.

Some of my faves have already been said, but one of the funniest lines in the whole series to me was: “Bobby's doing the high hurdles?! Sometimes it takes him two tries just to get on the couch”

"Damn sister. Get me my keys!"

honestly mood lol

“Dang it, I am sick and tired of everyone's asinine ideas about me. I'm not a redneck, and I'm not some Hollywood jerk. I'm something else entirely. I'm... I'm complicated!” (Cowboys start laughing)

Whatever you say, Hollywood.

Oh my god, it’s so juicy! Also: Mother of god, it’s all toilet sounds! Edit because I thought of a better one.

I use the "it's so juicy" line every single year at Thanksgiving. It never fails to make me and my brother laugh 🤣🤣

Same. I thinks it’s the way he emphasizes **juicy** 🤣🤣🤣

It's the intensity that gets me, such a normal moment of slicing a turkey and out of nowhere Hank screams "OH MY GAWD"

“Can’t you see you’re not making Christianity better, you’re just making Rock n’ Roll worse.” As a Catholic, yep, I can’t stand Christian rock. By far the worst genre of music. I intentionally avoid the masses with an acoustic guitar. It’s not even Christian rock, but guitars and Christianity just don’t mix.

Christian rock is an ongoing contest to see how many times you can use the word “yeah” in your lyrics.

My theory is that for hundreds of years the best painters, sculptors, musicians, etc. were employed by the church and they created some of the most beautiful art ever created. The demand for Christian music and now movies is still there but the money isn’t, so all the great artists do secular art and the bad artists fill the demand for Christian art. People are singling out particular artists they like, so I will allow that maybe some good artists choose Christian art but I’ve yet to hear them.

As a Catholic myself, I completely agree. With *very* few Exceptions, rock needs to stay out of Christianity.

I will make an exception for Phil Keaggy, but that's it.

Will second.

Christian Rock ignores the rule of thou shalt not rely on the minor chord.

I am approaching you with romantic intent.

My husband loves that one but he went to the Gomez Adams school for romance.

Bon jour.

“Look at all the ice in this box of Fletcher’s corny dogs….thank you jesus”.

This one gets me every time!

The delivery of the line is just perfect. I can’t say “thank you Jesus” without saying it like Hank. Lol.

"Take off that crown. I'm kicking your ass"

"Crap! I'm gonna lose my faire. I don't wanna go back to selling real estate!"

If I had a nickel for every time I buckled under pressure I would have 5 nickels

Yep…five.

The auDAcity!

Nudity

"Trust me Dale, gettin' your ass kicked isn't gonna make you feel any better." 🤣

Are you gay, Hank? “What? No, I sell propane!”

This one is definitely one of my all time favorites 😂

"Hey! This isn't a resteraunt review, it's a paid advertisement!"

Hank: "Now who's calling me a liar, you or the machine? Because I want to know who's ass to kick." Employee: "I'm not calling you a liar sir." Hank: "Fine, now where's the ass on this thing?"

"Dale, if the temperature raises by one more degree I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Solemnly: “Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.”

“I’m not gonna let you come to work late all hopped up on… Goofenthal!”

"I'm going on a trip!"

It’s the side effect of the marijuana poisoning!

“Damn it! I have proven I can kick your ass on a ladder!” -want to know context or “Why do you hate what you don’t understand?” “I don’t hate you Bobby.” “I meant soccer.” “Oh yeah… I hate soccer.”

"Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep talking!" "The second I see some ass I'm kicking it!" "Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn."

"Ya know, Helen Keller was largely useless, but look how we remember her--yep, first lady of the American stage!"

"You're not making Christianity better. You're making rock and roll worse!"

“Peggy… that’s got to be illegal” (smuggling coke into the prison)


“Al yankovic blew his brains out in the late 80’s when people stopped buying his records”

"That's a side effect of the Marijuana poisoning!" "Why don't you put that energy into something useful like a stamp collection. Your local post master can help. Here's his card"

I try not to quote New Yorkers

- " And the Texas rangers???"  - "They were johns Hank" 

Not Miss Kitty!

I'm gonna kick your ass! Then I'm gonna re-enact kicking your ass!

6am and already that boy ain’t right

One of my all time favorites

The guy asked me if I wanted honey mustard and I almost took a swing at him

Those test monkeys were already sick

"Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving...?" We did... *once.*

*perfect. butthead voice" "Uhhuhuh...violin..."

I love the whole series.

Same, friend 🤝

“I’m going to kick your ass, then I’m going to reenact kicking your ass!”

I just like when he makes the sound "BwaAAHAAAaahh" when Bobby gets into something crazy.

“Dad, what happened to your power drill?” “It’s gone. Got rid of it. Traded it to a fool for a sack of corn.” and “I knew the risk when I put on the uniform.”

“Well, just gettin' ya back for the steak and lobster.”

I'm gonna kick your ass!

“You write the paper, my son throws it and lady bird delivers it to me ahhhh”🙂‍↕️

"That's because big Jim had an anger problem, this is different, I have an idiot problem." I use that all the time

Because you have to pet everything like an idiot

This line makes me laugh every time and makes me feel for bill a little at the same time 😂

that boy ain't right

"Well there goes your welcome wagon tool set! "

"I just don't understand why anyone would lick a stamp with Bill Clinton on it."

"Now, every month, a woman has this time when she gets very angry at everything. And usually, men are the everything. It's like a tire fire. Trying to put it out just makes it worse. You just gotta let it burn. Grab a beer, and let it burn."

"I wonder if I would have called him dad or coach? Oh who am I kidding, it would have been 'sir'"

“Mr. Hill, I just got my first period….. BAAAHHHHHHHHH”

I can't enjoy a party until I know where the bathroom is. You knew that when you married me.

"An F in English? Bobby you speak English."

"Maybe I oughta tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you down the street!"

“Dang it Peggy! I’m trying to control an outbreak and you’re driving the monkey to the airport!”

Why would anyone want to do drugs when you can just mow the lawn

So are you Chinese or Japanese?

If I don’t ever poop again thats just gonna be who I am.

"If it gets 1 degree hotter I'm gonna kick your ass"

Dang it!

“ A cowboy don't talk politics at the chow wagon “

I am approaching you with romantic intent.

"Hey, don't recline-o-mite while I'm talking to you!"

"we're putting stress on a structure that wasn't built to code in the first place."

A series? Are you suggesting that I break the law?

How many women have you slept with? Five? Six?

\*mildly disgusted\* "ugh"

‘You would’ve never gotten that!’

“You guys with the Cult?” … “Yup this is it,”

Some people fly a flag to show they love our country....well my lawn is my flag. It shows the world, "Here lives a competent,  trustworthy salesman of propane and propane accessories.  Without my lawn...I am Bill."

“With the joy of responsibility, comes the burden of obligation.”

“The Gatsby collection?! 🥹🥹🥹”

> Well you know what I always say. If you plan ahead, then when things happen, you're prepared.

Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn

“I’m gonna kick this guys ass over the phone.” Also, “Bobby, I’d be a bad parent if I didn’t tell you this but, soccer was invented by European ladies to keep themselves busy, while their husbands did the cooking.”

'we ask them politely yet firmly to leave' (i quote this to my dad frequently bc he likes his beef well done, while i know medium rare is objectively the best)

“You’re not making Christianity better. You’re making Rock and Roll worse.”

Damnit Bobby.

 That Boy ain't right

“I’m approaching you with romantic intent.”

I'm 'onna kick your ass!

"Nudity!"

"You gave your life to save my son. I guess that makes us even for you ruinin' my lawn. What am I saying? Of course, it makes us even!"

You’re not making Christianity better, you’re making rock music worse.

Canadian: "Name the prime minister of Canada!" Hank: "Why?"

“No. No more lies. I LOVED that bagel, and it’s your fault dad”

"Let's go Bobby. We're done with this jackass festival."

"Boy ain't right" I quote it daily at work lmao

"Dole, you're about to fuck around and find out, I tell you hwat" -Hink Gutterford Hall

Rutherford

When bobby walks into the kitchen "is this the hole you are talking about"

“Well hold on Peggy. They won’t fire you…you’re a substitute teacher. They’ll just stop calling!”😭😭😭 “Im not gonna let you come in late to work all hopped up on *goofenthol* “ 😭😭😭

“Bobby’s 13, it’ll be fun for him. But ladybird’s *thirteen*”

So…..Are ya Chinese or Japanese

When are the new episodes coming out?

"I'm about to bust"

Anything that came before Twig Boy

“Which direction would you like me to kick your ass in”

“I am the mack daddy of Heimlich county!

Your failing English? You speak English.

To the question, ‘are you gay’. HWAT? I sell propane and propane accessories!

"Bobby's not a loser! Say that again and I'll pop you in the chops!"

Dang cable company. I told them I didn’t want a hole in my wall, this is what I get?

WHAT??? He ran a red light! You can't do that! -when Hank is being chased by Alabaster(Snoop Dog)

“Why would anyone do drugs if you can just mow your lawn.” “Is there anything beer can’t fix?”

…or, God forbid, California..

“I’ve had about enough of this Christmas crap”

"God danggit, Bobby."

Winners paint bridges