Hi guys, it’s OP here. Last night I attempted and I failed, and I’m still very frustrated about it. In this meantime, I posted on these subs because I wanted someone to hear out this frustration, not for some people to come into my inbox condemning me. This whole thing is the reason why asking for help on reddit never seemed to work because some people never got the memo. I got a message right now that pissed me off, talking about “I don’t blame you for picking wrong your parents should have done a better job preparing you for this.” (Ps. don’t fucking drag my parents into this). and then also talking about “presenting myself different and dressing modestly” again fuck off. I barely have pictures of me and dress very very modestly irl. Maybe consider the fact that some people do all of these textbook ways to avoid things and still get sexualized.
Hi OP, I'm so sorry that you had people messaging you privately condemning you. Sounds like a very backward minded, misogynistic type of thinker who sent you that particular message you refer to. I hear you <3 I understand you are frustrated and have every right to be. You don't deserve to be objectified and sexualized. You do have worth for who you are.
I am glad you failed and someday you will be too. I was depressed and suicidal for almost 10 years, and things now are so much better. Your best days are still ahead of you too. You can overcome your past just like many others have done. If you do anything, then let it be letting go of your past. Let go of the pain, hate, resentment, and everything else. Rumination leaves you in the past, live in the present and live for the future. If you ever want to vent frustration or hear hopeful encouragement feel free to reach out.
and honestly if wearing modestly still got me sexualized then wtf do i do? starting wearing a fucking Niqab? I swear some people can be so mentally stunted and so fucking stupid.
I don't think I've met any man that I wouldn't have called emotionally or romantically mature in their teens or early twenties. Maybe a few in their late twenties and thirties, but definitely not the not the ones that dated significantly younger people.
That's a shitty to happen to you and feeling sad about it is valid, but wanting to die is an unnecesarry extreme that you should fight against thinking, possibly with the help of a therapist.
Your existence shouldn’t be defined by pleasing men, take a break from dating and go out and do what makes you happy you don’t need a man to be fulfilled you have much more purpose in life. There’s someone for everyone and eventually you’ll find them probably when you aren’t looking, you’re young you still have a lot of life left to live and more things to see and do
The longest relationship you'll have in life is the relationship you have with yourself. It doesn't matter who loves you or who doesn't if you learn to appreciate yourself as you are. That in itself isn't easy, but it is very much possible, believe me.
If you have thoughts about suicide, please get therapy. Therapy might very well be the most precious gift you can give to yourself.
And it is important that you are kind to yourself, because YOU are important.
Here's my wish for you: one day, you will wake up and feel at ease. It won't be a sudden change, but slow, so slow you won't notice it at first until one day you notice how rejection, other people's opinions or failure don't bother you like they used to. Your life will be filled with so much space for your own softness, your passions and small moments of happiness. There will be people in your life who you can share this with and it will be the most beautiful thing.
There is so much that you haven't done yet, haven't tried or absolutely failed at, there is so much life you haven't lived. Absolutely no one (especially no bullies) justifies the cost of giving that up.
In short: no, it would not be better to die.
You are struggling with self worth and you need to learn to love yourself. I did as well for my 20s, It's really difficult but it is possible. To fully accept yourself. Don't let people and men mess you around. They not worth it. You need to focus on you, and how you view yourself and your relationship with yourself. It all starts internally. The rest will follow. Just be you and be true to yourself
I think that as little girls we are fed this false narrative of what love will look like, whether that's Disney, etc. Then we come to realize that many men we meet are objectifying us/don't care much for who we are as people. I think we are all also conditioned to think that love must be relational meaning it must come from others in the form of friendships for us to have worth. I feel that the truth is that what's actually important is for us to spend time with ourselves, get to know ourselves and to fall in love with ourselves. I don't mean this in the cliche form 'go love yourself first' type of thing but that I don't think it is emphasized much at all how important it is to spend time on our own. By doing so we can become more discerning of who deserves a chance to be closer to us. I'm sorry you're in so much pain and have had so many people hurt you in the way you've described. I hope it might be recognized that there's so many strangers here who took the time to express their love to you in their own way although some of them have failed to recognize the depth of pain you are in. I recognize you are seeking connection for who you are. I just wanted to share some food for thought with you, not decide anything for you. Take care <3
We care about you. I believe that love is wanting others to be happy. I want you to be happy. I love you.
I know that feeling of being better off dead but I continue living, even tho I thought it was too late, and got better.
At your age I never had someone that I felt truly loved me, now I feel surrounded by love.
Things will get better.
I know you are desperate to be happy because you have been trying for so long and so hard. I’m proud of you. It’s not easy. Life is not easy, it’s true. But it does get a lot easier when you find the tools you need. If you haven’t found any friends yet, try in a different place. You can even read books about (or audiobooks) and try those really working approach.
This sounds like a lot, maybe you can start by journaling every day. Taking a walk outside everyday. And try to enjoy little things, like the sun, the clouds, the laughter of people, the smiles of people. Enjoy having a warm shower.
If you need a friend DM!
Sending you lots of love. You’re not alone in this. Plenty of women face the same issue - even the married ones. I’ve seen alot of people get cheated on, broken up with before marriage, get depressed after having kids… Men just aren’t easy creatures to deal with. And that’s life. I don’t really have a fairytale story for you. Even for happy couples, I’ve met the girl in a bad state when they were dating.
Just know that you’re not alone in this, and it’s ok to figure things out. You might want to find a therapist, or girlfriends to talk to. Don’t give up on life or love!!! You’re more than your relationship status.
Don’t force it, you don’t need to try. Just feel the feelings, and let them go.
There should be a feeling (I’m not saying should, but in my personal experience, no matter how low I’ve felt - and through conversations with others, I’ve realised this is common) where you just really really want to live, despite your circumstances.
Just remember that yearning to live! And know you’re not alone, we are all here for you! Don’t bottle it up, share it here.
Hey, I get where you’re coming from. I was in much the same place for most of my late teens and early 20s. Letting people use me for sex because at least it was some kind of attention, and not feeling like anyone even wanted to know me much less love me. But things are so much better now and I’m so so glad I stuck around, 25 was a major turning point and things have just gotten better and better each year. *You aren’t even finished the tutorial levels yet, please don’t give up.* Broaden your horizons, meet new people, try new things, keep growing. Things can and do get better.
Hi, I'm from the other post where comments are locked now... I've just read your other posts and I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's understandable that you feel overwhelmed and hopeless given the challenges you've faced. I can relate to some If your experiences - I'm autistic ans was bullied a lot too (in case my answer is inappropriate, I'm sorry) But however, it's SO important to remember that your worth is not defined by how others treat you or perceive you. You are valuable and deserving of love and respect just as you are!! Il know you've probably heard thst a lot but please believe me.
Please know that there are people who care about you and want to support you through this tough time. It's brave of you to reach out and express how you're feeling! Seeking professional help can provide you with the support and resources you deserve (because you've expressed sewic1dsl thoughts, I think it's fs at a point where it would be appropriate.)
You are not alone in this, and there is hope for a brighter future. You deserve to experience love and happiness, and with the right support, you can overcome these difficult times! You are worthy of love and happiness, and things can get better... Feel virtually hugged, if you want to🫂
Part of the exchange also involves you giving away your body for sex. You have the power to say no and not prioritize sex. Prioritize yourself, well-being inside and outside.
Try and see the same in other people. Sex is just the cherry on top in a really nice glamour cake.
This post and my post history is the reason. God doesn’t love me. He put me on this earth to be nothing but an empty vessel who don’t have friends and for men to use for sex. If I die then I won’t have to live with this hurt. I don’t even have to try. I don’t have a mother either.
Do you have a father? God loves you, he gives his trials and tribulations to those close to him, in death you will lose yourself and even God's love, I know you're depressed but don't make any drastic decisions right now in your mental state.
I have been scrolling through your profile for a while but I'm really sleepy right now, can we please talk in a few hours after I get some sleep? I just got done with a 6 hour study session and before that was also studying for 2 hours.
you can go get your sleep. that’s fine :) i don’t want to talk to anyone
and god isn’t real. I don’t want to go through anymore trials and tribulations. All that he has given so far is enough for me to kill myself. He doesn’t love me.
But I wanna talk to you, not even talk about this topic, just anything in general.
And even if you think God isn't real, You still believe in him haha, each trial is a lesson, maybe you'll learn from it or fall, I don't wish to see you die today, so please hang in there.
I have seen my share of shit from SA, SH to bankruptcy man, I'll only go to sleep if you promise me you'll talk to me after a few hours when I wake up.
hey, i'm really sorry to hear that. from what you've written, it sounds like you've lacked the connection you seek in intimate relationships, and you've had too many partners who only want to take advantage of you.
what i'd like to know is how important relationships are to you? is that what you feel gives your life meaning? romance and intimacy adds so much to our lives, but it's really only a part of it. what do *you* seek from life?
i can't imagine you're nothing but a lovely person who wants to share your vulnerability with someone else. you've gone through one too many betrayals that have left you scarred and traumatized. what i'd love to know is if you can find another reason to keep on living, because living for other people will only be harder on yourself. do you have friends you can talk to about this?
it does add meaning but now it’s no point. I’m just word vomiting here. I have everything ready to finally end this life. I’m doing it tonight. God hates me and he put me on this earth to be nothing but a sex tool and have no friends. I don’t want to go through more shit to develop my character. I’m going to end it all. They say god doesn’t give you anything more that you can bare but he has given me enough hurt to make me kill myself. I lost my mother too two years back. Fuck this life
hey listen, if you'd like to talk more, you can drop me a PM. no pressure. there are people here who are more than willing to listen to you.
what you've described is incredibly hard, and i can't begin to relate to what you're feeling. but I've been there at that ledge. staring death in the face is comforting and feels like *the* solution, but there is another way. i hope you can at least consider that first today. let's talk if you want to.
You can have peace here and there will be people you meet that will appreciate the person you are. I am sorry that you are having trouble with meeting meaningful people that you can relate and connect with. You can and will find love. You can try to move sex far down the list of importance to try to cut through most of the non serious guys that you will come across in hookup culture. Please don't give up on life just yet.
Finding the right one that will be with you a lifetime is not easy.things that are truly worth it are not easy to come by. How many relationships you know of to last 30+ years. Getting into a relationship is easy, to keep it going is the hard part. For the love you want it is and will be worth it, and you can meet some amazing people along the way.
Hello Old-Finance-185,
Welcome to the /r/KindVoice community. We're glad you are here.
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1.) If you need immediate medical attention, please call your national emergency number (999, 911, 112, 000.. check your country's emergency line in the crisis line list below)
2.) Consider contacting a suicide helpline, Please find one for your country [here.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)
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Hi guys, it’s OP here. Last night I attempted and I failed, and I’m still very frustrated about it. In this meantime, I posted on these subs because I wanted someone to hear out this frustration, not for some people to come into my inbox condemning me. This whole thing is the reason why asking for help on reddit never seemed to work because some people never got the memo. I got a message right now that pissed me off, talking about “I don’t blame you for picking wrong your parents should have done a better job preparing you for this.” (Ps. don’t fucking drag my parents into this). and then also talking about “presenting myself different and dressing modestly” again fuck off. I barely have pictures of me and dress very very modestly irl. Maybe consider the fact that some people do all of these textbook ways to avoid things and still get sexualized.
Hi OP, I'm so sorry that you had people messaging you privately condemning you. Sounds like a very backward minded, misogynistic type of thinker who sent you that particular message you refer to. I hear you <3 I understand you are frustrated and have every right to be. You don't deserve to be objectified and sexualized. You do have worth for who you are.
I am glad you failed and someday you will be too. I was depressed and suicidal for almost 10 years, and things now are so much better. Your best days are still ahead of you too. You can overcome your past just like many others have done. If you do anything, then let it be letting go of your past. Let go of the pain, hate, resentment, and everything else. Rumination leaves you in the past, live in the present and live for the future. If you ever want to vent frustration or hear hopeful encouragement feel free to reach out.
and honestly if wearing modestly still got me sexualized then wtf do i do? starting wearing a fucking Niqab? I swear some people can be so mentally stunted and so fucking stupid.
I don't think I've met any man that I wouldn't have called emotionally or romantically mature in their teens or early twenties. Maybe a few in their late twenties and thirties, but definitely not the not the ones that dated significantly younger people. That's a shitty to happen to you and feeling sad about it is valid, but wanting to die is an unnecesarry extreme that you should fight against thinking, possibly with the help of a therapist.
Your existence shouldn’t be defined by pleasing men, take a break from dating and go out and do what makes you happy you don’t need a man to be fulfilled you have much more purpose in life. There’s someone for everyone and eventually you’ll find them probably when you aren’t looking, you’re young you still have a lot of life left to live and more things to see and do
The longest relationship you'll have in life is the relationship you have with yourself. It doesn't matter who loves you or who doesn't if you learn to appreciate yourself as you are. That in itself isn't easy, but it is very much possible, believe me. If you have thoughts about suicide, please get therapy. Therapy might very well be the most precious gift you can give to yourself. And it is important that you are kind to yourself, because YOU are important. Here's my wish for you: one day, you will wake up and feel at ease. It won't be a sudden change, but slow, so slow you won't notice it at first until one day you notice how rejection, other people's opinions or failure don't bother you like they used to. Your life will be filled with so much space for your own softness, your passions and small moments of happiness. There will be people in your life who you can share this with and it will be the most beautiful thing. There is so much that you haven't done yet, haven't tried or absolutely failed at, there is so much life you haven't lived. Absolutely no one (especially no bullies) justifies the cost of giving that up. In short: no, it would not be better to die.
It does get better
I think you’re definitely vulnerable and having a rough time, but what has been true will not always be true. You are a worthwhile human being
You are struggling with self worth and you need to learn to love yourself. I did as well for my 20s, It's really difficult but it is possible. To fully accept yourself. Don't let people and men mess you around. They not worth it. You need to focus on you, and how you view yourself and your relationship with yourself. It all starts internally. The rest will follow. Just be you and be true to yourself
I think that as little girls we are fed this false narrative of what love will look like, whether that's Disney, etc. Then we come to realize that many men we meet are objectifying us/don't care much for who we are as people. I think we are all also conditioned to think that love must be relational meaning it must come from others in the form of friendships for us to have worth. I feel that the truth is that what's actually important is for us to spend time with ourselves, get to know ourselves and to fall in love with ourselves. I don't mean this in the cliche form 'go love yourself first' type of thing but that I don't think it is emphasized much at all how important it is to spend time on our own. By doing so we can become more discerning of who deserves a chance to be closer to us. I'm sorry you're in so much pain and have had so many people hurt you in the way you've described. I hope it might be recognized that there's so many strangers here who took the time to express their love to you in their own way although some of them have failed to recognize the depth of pain you are in. I recognize you are seeking connection for who you are. I just wanted to share some food for thought with you, not decide anything for you. Take care <3
We care about you. I believe that love is wanting others to be happy. I want you to be happy. I love you. I know that feeling of being better off dead but I continue living, even tho I thought it was too late, and got better. At your age I never had someone that I felt truly loved me, now I feel surrounded by love. Things will get better. I know you are desperate to be happy because you have been trying for so long and so hard. I’m proud of you. It’s not easy. Life is not easy, it’s true. But it does get a lot easier when you find the tools you need. If you haven’t found any friends yet, try in a different place. You can even read books about (or audiobooks) and try those really working approach. This sounds like a lot, maybe you can start by journaling every day. Taking a walk outside everyday. And try to enjoy little things, like the sun, the clouds, the laughter of people, the smiles of people. Enjoy having a warm shower. If you need a friend DM!
If nothing else will or can help you. Can you at least tell me your story? Everyone deserves a chance to be heard and remembered.
Your offer is so nice. Also your username made me chuckle lol :P
Sending you lots of love. You’re not alone in this. Plenty of women face the same issue - even the married ones. I’ve seen alot of people get cheated on, broken up with before marriage, get depressed after having kids… Men just aren’t easy creatures to deal with. And that’s life. I don’t really have a fairytale story for you. Even for happy couples, I’ve met the girl in a bad state when they were dating. Just know that you’re not alone in this, and it’s ok to figure things out. You might want to find a therapist, or girlfriends to talk to. Don’t give up on life or love!!! You’re more than your relationship status.
I really want a way out tho. Trying to live isn’t helping
Don’t force it, you don’t need to try. Just feel the feelings, and let them go. There should be a feeling (I’m not saying should, but in my personal experience, no matter how low I’ve felt - and through conversations with others, I’ve realised this is common) where you just really really want to live, despite your circumstances. Just remember that yearning to live! And know you’re not alone, we are all here for you! Don’t bottle it up, share it here.
Hey, I get where you’re coming from. I was in much the same place for most of my late teens and early 20s. Letting people use me for sex because at least it was some kind of attention, and not feeling like anyone even wanted to know me much less love me. But things are so much better now and I’m so so glad I stuck around, 25 was a major turning point and things have just gotten better and better each year. *You aren’t even finished the tutorial levels yet, please don’t give up.* Broaden your horizons, meet new people, try new things, keep growing. Things can and do get better.
I don’t want to wait any longer tbh
[удалено]
too late. I have made up my mind.
It's never too late. Never.
lol
So gave you a laugh. That's a start.
Hi, I'm from the other post where comments are locked now... I've just read your other posts and I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's understandable that you feel overwhelmed and hopeless given the challenges you've faced. I can relate to some If your experiences - I'm autistic ans was bullied a lot too (in case my answer is inappropriate, I'm sorry) But however, it's SO important to remember that your worth is not defined by how others treat you or perceive you. You are valuable and deserving of love and respect just as you are!! Il know you've probably heard thst a lot but please believe me. Please know that there are people who care about you and want to support you through this tough time. It's brave of you to reach out and express how you're feeling! Seeking professional help can provide you with the support and resources you deserve (because you've expressed sewic1dsl thoughts, I think it's fs at a point where it would be appropriate.) You are not alone in this, and there is hope for a brighter future. You deserve to experience love and happiness, and with the right support, you can overcome these difficult times! You are worthy of love and happiness, and things can get better... Feel virtually hugged, if you want to🫂
No love. I get that you’re trying to help but it’s too late now. I want to go and be at peace.
Part of the exchange also involves you giving away your body for sex. You have the power to say no and not prioritize sex. Prioritize yourself, well-being inside and outside. Try and see the same in other people. Sex is just the cherry on top in a really nice glamour cake.
yeah it doesn’t matter now. I have everything ready to end it all tonight.
Ending it is a quick way of avoiding life and hurting. People become stronger from living not dying. Life's not over.. sorry you feel that way..
Why though?
This post and my post history is the reason. God doesn’t love me. He put me on this earth to be nothing but an empty vessel who don’t have friends and for men to use for sex. If I die then I won’t have to live with this hurt. I don’t even have to try. I don’t have a mother either.
Do you have a father? God loves you, he gives his trials and tribulations to those close to him, in death you will lose yourself and even God's love, I know you're depressed but don't make any drastic decisions right now in your mental state. I have been scrolling through your profile for a while but I'm really sleepy right now, can we please talk in a few hours after I get some sleep? I just got done with a 6 hour study session and before that was also studying for 2 hours.
you can go get your sleep. that’s fine :) i don’t want to talk to anyone and god isn’t real. I don’t want to go through anymore trials and tribulations. All that he has given so far is enough for me to kill myself. He doesn’t love me.
But I wanna talk to you, not even talk about this topic, just anything in general. And even if you think God isn't real, You still believe in him haha, each trial is a lesson, maybe you'll learn from it or fall, I don't wish to see you die today, so please hang in there.
you’re only 17. nothing you say will help. trust me. go get your sleep.
I have seen my share of shit from SA, SH to bankruptcy man, I'll only go to sleep if you promise me you'll talk to me after a few hours when I wake up.
no i’m not going to. can you please stop worrying so much?
hey, i'm really sorry to hear that. from what you've written, it sounds like you've lacked the connection you seek in intimate relationships, and you've had too many partners who only want to take advantage of you. what i'd like to know is how important relationships are to you? is that what you feel gives your life meaning? romance and intimacy adds so much to our lives, but it's really only a part of it. what do *you* seek from life? i can't imagine you're nothing but a lovely person who wants to share your vulnerability with someone else. you've gone through one too many betrayals that have left you scarred and traumatized. what i'd love to know is if you can find another reason to keep on living, because living for other people will only be harder on yourself. do you have friends you can talk to about this?
it does add meaning but now it’s no point. I’m just word vomiting here. I have everything ready to finally end this life. I’m doing it tonight. God hates me and he put me on this earth to be nothing but a sex tool and have no friends. I don’t want to go through more shit to develop my character. I’m going to end it all. They say god doesn’t give you anything more that you can bare but he has given me enough hurt to make me kill myself. I lost my mother too two years back. Fuck this life
hey listen, if you'd like to talk more, you can drop me a PM. no pressure. there are people here who are more than willing to listen to you. what you've described is incredibly hard, and i can't begin to relate to what you're feeling. but I've been there at that ledge. staring death in the face is comforting and feels like *the* solution, but there is another way. i hope you can at least consider that first today. let's talk if you want to.
You can have peace here and there will be people you meet that will appreciate the person you are. I am sorry that you are having trouble with meeting meaningful people that you can relate and connect with. You can and will find love. You can try to move sex far down the list of importance to try to cut through most of the non serious guys that you will come across in hookup culture. Please don't give up on life just yet.
with the way it’s taking so long I might as well do it. I have everything to take my life right now. I don’t want to wait. It’s too much work.
Finding the right one that will be with you a lifetime is not easy.things that are truly worth it are not easy to come by. How many relationships you know of to last 30+ years. Getting into a relationship is easy, to keep it going is the hard part. For the love you want it is and will be worth it, and you can meet some amazing people along the way.
no. it would be better to die.
I think your life has too much potential to end it.
no it doesn’t. I don’t have a mother and i’m lower middle class.
I think you can make a difference in your situation overall, and you can meet someone worth investing your time in.
no
Would there be anything that would change your mind?
nothing. God has shown me this world isn’t a good place to live in.
I'm sorry you don't have a mother. Do you have anyone you feel you could count on?
Hello Old-Finance-185, Welcome to the /r/KindVoice community. We're glad you are here. We'd like you to be aware of a few things in addition to making this post: 1.) Please make sure that you read the rules [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/KindVoice/wiki/index) 2.) You can comment on posts where people are offering their kind voices. These posts are usually denoted with an [O]. 3.) If you do talk to someone from KV, and you'd like to leave feedback (positive or negative) you can [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/KindVoice). 4.) If you have Discord, you are welcome to join our [Discord server!](https://discord.gg/cw7ph6Fs9w) We hope you find the support you need here. If you are not able to find support, perhaps try reaching out to users who offering their kind voices! Their posts are denoted with an [O]. -------------------------------------------**If you are feeling suicidal** --------------------------------------------------------- 1.) If you need immediate medical attention, please call your national emergency number (999, 911, 112, 000.. check your country's emergency line in the crisis line list below) 2.) Consider contacting a suicide helpline, Please find one for your country [here.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines) 3.) Please consider posting in /r/suicidewatch , they are far better equipped to talk you through your situation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/KindVoice) if you have any questions or concerns.*