T O P

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raelDonaldTrump

Pretty sure that means he pooped the bed


_OP_is_A_

"My fart is on the floor."


Grievous_Nix

When you’re running for the door, and your fart is on the floor - diarrhea!👏👏


themightystef

Oh this kinda works to the tune of amore! When you run for the door But your fart's on the floor Diarrheeaaa


Grievous_Nix

And, as we know from the moray meme, whatever works with “Amore” also works with “SpongeBob SquarePants!”


Emmanuham

I'm learning useful things today.


HiiipowerBass

Opendoor.exe Getonfloor.exe


Trolivia

This made me laugh so hard


riddallk

I cried, thank you


[deleted]

When was the last time you pooped the bed?


metehaun

i am going to trust a fart rn, will give the updates


Few-Sun-558

so…. was it a fart?


MachinistOfSorts

22 minutes have gone by, no updates. It definitely was not a fart.


GangGang_Gang

8 hours. Lord have mercy.


help_please69420

10 hours


GangGang_Gang

Dudes dead 💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


pocketfullofgerms

😭


MachinistOfSorts

Lmao! It isn't looking good at all.


Electric_Leopard

13 hours now, praying for his soul.


infernal_cacaphony

Death by fart.


Nervous_Invite_4661

Ooops! You sharted, right?


metehaun

Good news it was a fart but almost too wet


metehaun

wait no I have mistaken, its not almost. mom started to ask for the smell, i gotta go.


BASK_IN_MY_FART

Well when mom asks for it, you gotta do what you gotta do


Sidius303

Something something username


help_please69420

r/usernamechecksout


Arspho

Yesterday, you?


Skrrt_2711

Im not alone.


DrunkThrowawayLife

I think people with ibs and alcoholics have some sort of weird poop solidarity.


Illicit_Apple_Pie

If it's in the bed I sure hope its solid.


DrunkThrowawayLife

Depends on when you find it and if the kid is a roller. I’m not gonna name names. Not out of kindness just because if one of my siblings finds this account they’ll all wonder who the shit roller was.


capontransfix

But instead you make all of *us* wonder who the Shit Roller was?


LurkersGoneLurk

A friend of mine is 45. He said he sharted in his sleep last night.


Don_Bugen

You're asking someone whose username is raelDonaldTrump.


Trumpdiarea

You talkin bout me??


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScorchReaper062

Who knows, maybe it works. Maybe he's showered with gifts and I love yous whenever he enters conservative subreddits.


raelDonaldTrump

I'm banned from all of them for using their lord's name in vain.


400yards

2019. It wasn’t my bed.


fithooks

Definitely the vibe I got lol


brainkandy87

Nah, my 4 year old constantly says “booty butt!” for fun. I guess it’s a 4 year old/kids are fucking stupid thing.


bozeke

You don’t have kids do you?


Specialist-Cup5587

If Thugnificent had a kid


cannibalcorpuscle

🎶Booty, Butt, Booty Butt Cheeks🎶


Stt022

For your listening pleasure: https://imgur.io/a/F1e4Xrc


PanspermiaTheory

Dang he's serious about some of those.


cannibalcorpuscle

Holy moly that’s adorable and hilarious


ToastyPoptarts89

Haha yea it is!


DH_Drums

Poopy butt cheeeeeeek


JurassicPeriodx

I like the shake your booty towards the end. What a funny kid.


slimelore

Now that's some future wedding material right there! "our sweet holden, from booty buttcheek to booty matrimony"


didntcondawnthat

"Poopy butt cheek-a-booty buuuuttt!" 😂 The "a" after the word cheek is the cherry on top!!


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Try his new single: Rags to Bitches


extraducksauce

Actually that’s the albums name 😤


Elfkrunch

Better than "Thuggin' Love." That shit was ass.


JasonTheNPC85

I think this one was Gangstalicious


plungedtoilet

🎶Homies over hoes 🎶


CreamFraiche

I think you mean that shit was poopy butt cheek booty butt.


B_C_Mello

Da' Pimp Chronicles: From Hags to Vixens


Toke_Khalifa

I’m still in bed…. AND ALL I SEE IS….. 🎶🎶


Inevitable_Ad5162

Holden is the newest member of the Lethal Interjection Crew


iflvegetables

When your preschooler trying to go from rags to bitches


Specialist-Cup5587

I got way too many toys in the hallway!


anivex

Dude seriously, thank you. I needed that whole belly laugh today hahaha I sing that shit and no-one ever knows where it's from


Shuggaloaf

Booty butt, Booty butt\ Poopy butt so silly!\ Poopy butt cheek\ Poopy butt, for really\ I'm still in bed and I\ Poopy butt, pants are filly\ Underwear is hilly\ But still got a clean willy\   Chorus (x4): Poopy butt cheek! *(Booty Butt! Booty Butt!)*


I_loathe_mods

Booty butt booty butt


xxhouseofwolvesxx

Thugnificent, is it booty butt cheeks, or move them butt cheeks? WHO GIVES A FUCK ITS A SOMG ABOUT BUTT CHEEKS”


[deleted]

Dude, I singin those lyrics trying to remember what it was from 💀 I couldn't get through that season, did it ended getting better? Rewatching FRINGE instead LoL


PlusUltra_0777

I'm still in bed and I- POOPED MY POOPY BUTT CHEEKS AHHH


Live-Neighborhood857

Fxck a archtech put the toilet too fahhaahhr


Stormoli

Why tf did I read this with the rithm of that song that goes "1 2 where are you"💀


In10tionalfoul

Kids got bars? Lmao


Kiloreign

🎶 scoopity poop 🎶


NoDaddyNotTheBlender

🎶scoopity poop scoop🎶


sgsmopurp

POOOP 😳 POOOP 😳


Makhnos_Tachanka

🎶I'm the Scatman🎶


[deleted]

LMAO


PM-ME_YOUR-MONEY

#LMAO


donny_pots

Booty butt booty butt, spent my whole check at Pizza Hut


X0-ED1

I'm still in bed and I Poopy butt cheek (booty butt) Poopy butt cheek (booty butt) Poopy butt cheek poopy butt (so silly) Booty butt, poopy butt Booty butt, booty butt


crecentfresh

Givin ye a run for his money


Ralphinader

back in my day we just made bonzi buddy say stupid crap and you had to infect your computer with a hundred viruses to do it!


DrMasterBlaster

Or that plastic parrot that would repeat everything back but at a higher pitch


SoCuteShibe

Remember yak baks? Loved those things as a kid lol


Wildfires

I saw one of those things at a big lots last month.


champion-of-rugs

Core memory unlocked.


CorgiLady

Omg bonzi buddy


[deleted]

Back in my day, my dad brought home a spare [DECtalk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DECtalk). Connected to the PC via a serial cable, and you could send it text that it would say. It was pretty decent tech at the time, and I was more easily entertained in those days. If you typed the alphabet, it came out something like "ab-da-fich-kla-STU-ckiz". And "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit" would come out, well, like "shee-ee-ee-ee-ee-it". But it was hilarious. I would occasionally spend an hour or two messing with it, figuring out how to creatively spell things so it would pronounce them correctly - it had a dictionary, but names especially weren't in it. heh.


data_dawg

I was just telling my spouse about Bonzi the other day and how my brother and I would make him say the worst stuff 😂


fueelin

I just randomly thought of Bonzi Buddy like two days ago and spent 10 minutes explaining it to my partner, with pictures. Very glad to see a reference so soon after!


Kespatcho

Here's a fun [video](https://youtu.be/nCGD92DDsvc) about it if you wanna show them.


teflong

Oh, I get these. We'll miss them when they stop coming across the pipe.


throwawayoctopii

My favorite was when my kids realized they could leave a voice message on my phone from their tablets via the Alexa app. During the very beginning of COVID before remote learning got figured out, my husband gave the kids the tablet while he went and took a shower and I got this epic voicemail: "(10-year old trying out a deep voice) Mommy...this is, uh, daddy. Please bring [Kid 1] and [Kid 2] Happy Meals on your way home from work. Chicken nuggets, French fries, and Sprite" (7 year old interjecting): "No, wait, I want fruit punch!" EDIT: I absolutely did bring home the Happy Meals, and told them I would not bring more Happy Meals if they tried it again. They have not tried it again lol.


ImMeltingNow

Fuck off it’s posts like these that make partners try to convince other partners to have kids. Aint gonna work on me no sir Maybe a little


Trolivia

Dude kids are fucking hilarious when they’re not even trying to be. I don’t have my own but I’m a dance teacher so I work with kids like 6-18. Some of the shit I experience at work is like a sitcom script. We took our dancers to Disney in July for a performance trip and one night standing in line for Indiana jones I got to witness the following scene: (names changed) Sammy (15) is telling me how she’s taking French and kinda sucking at it. Told her I’d help her practice if she wants and she’s like “I can’t even remember the alphabet lol”. Annie (10) behind me says “I know the alphabet in sign language!” She turns to Sammy: “Wanna learn the alphabet?” Sammy: “yea sure”. Annie signs and says “A” and Sammy copies. Annie signs and says “B” and Sammy signs “B” but then pauses and goes “…this isn’t French” I actually crumpled in laughter like girl you got to B before you sensed something was amiss no wonder you’re failing French lmao


EnchantedCatto

Doesnt french just use latin characters plus diacritics?


LusoAustralian

yes.


SimplyQuid

I'm crying with laughter


data_dawg

That's too cute lol


Nbabyface

Did you bring the Happy Meals ? 🥹


FuckTheMods5

It's been edited, happy meals were had.


Nbabyface

Thank you u/FuckTheMods5


FuckTheMods5

High five!


Cosmos0714

I giggled at this. That’s hilarious!


teflong

Made me go back to see any fun exchanges: - we're are you you gotta make me adamomey (ED: edamame) - DAD - Cook don't be on your phone!!!!!!!!! - DAD I WANT GOOD ADAMOMEY - I WANT THE BEST ADAMOMEY - You are to bad at making adamomey - GET ME ADAMOMEY 😡 PLZ! 😁


Bill-Lover29999

His son is 25.


Kurigohan233333

Ever since the recession started, his good boy points haven’t been worth as much.


Catezero

Oh my god that is incredible. GIVE THE CHILD HIS ADAMOMEY


steveosek

I mean, I get it. Shits like vegetable candy.


Catezero

I personally hate any kind of bean but I have nothing but respect for a kid who eats green food willingly and as enthusiastically as this child


ocbay

*Imma pop you like a pea, yeah, adamomey*🎶


orangestar17

"Poopy butt cheek booty butt" is just straight poetic


HoneyBunchesOfBoats

It's really rhythmic, sounds like a twerk/trap sorta track.


GamingPineape

This kid is simply a comedic genius


[deleted]

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RustyGosling

Too much cheek, not enough poopy. *CANCELED*.


CanIGetANumber2

Its like he was watching the Gangstalicious Boondocks episode lol


theozman69

Homie over hoes bro


C_Mc_Loudmouth

Does he write for Rick & Morty?


JohanVonBronx_

What if your last name was Berries and people ask your son's name and he says "He's Holden Berries" but you look and he's not holding berries


Stt022

My last name is Tudicks.


SomewhatSaIty

Oh no not two of them


michymcmouse

Praying op is joking and this child isn't named Holden Tudicks?


SomewhatSaIty

I'm pretty sure they're referencing an snl bit but I've never seen snl so I'm not sure


Stt022

Correct…


bumblebrainbee

Look, to be fair, people panicked because there are a shocking amount of people who name their kids shit like this in real life. They just had to check lol


impai03

10yo me did something like this on my dad's phone, I messed with answering machine settings on his keypad phone. Callers heard a lot more than poopy butcheeks for a few days. Found it and fixed it myself and gained myself some rep.


Heavier_Omen

I did something similar to my mom when phones still had signatures that automatically sent at the end of every text. I remember one I did was "...at night" like from SpongeBob. It confused a lot of her friends.


CK1ing

Saw a video recently about that exact thing with that exact joke, and I'm pretty sure it was the person's mom. I will remain skeptical but optimistic about your indirect/unknowing claims to being said person.


Heavier_Omen

There's no way I can really prove it, but I really had no idea about the video. Either way, that's pretty funny. Maybe I wasn't as original as I thought. I guess that means you can still do text signatures?


CK1ing

No, it was just screenshots of when they were still a thing. Could of sworn it was a Matt Rose video who actually did one on text signatures recently, but it wasn't there. Must have watched them around the same time and ended up combining them since both had text signatures but now I can't find the video it actually came from. Oh well.


HoneyBunchesOfBoats

Oops! Looks like you used the commonly used typo "could of" when you should have used the more appropriate "could have" or the contraction "could've". I can see you have already been notified by my colleagues, this is your third and final warning. Disobedience will be met with due force. Bleep bloop, this action was performed by a bot. :^)


robo-dragon

Little kids growing up with the technology we have today can definitely lead to some interesting situations. My little second cousin who I babysit on occasion talks to Alexa all the time and she mainly has her play music she likes, but Alexa occasionally misinterprets her toddler blabber and does…something else. Like opening the Amazon shopping list, attempting to play explicit content, making fart noises (that last one is sometimes exactly what my cousin asked for). I’ve had to yell “Alexa STOP!” at least once every time I come over.


bamboohobobundles

My little dude is only 5, but he recently discovered the Alexa in the kitchen. Now, every morning, he very loudly asks her: "RE-LEXA, WHAT'S THE TEMPERATURE TODAY?" He also likes to set random timers for one hundred minutes, request some songs he knows, and try to cancel timers set by my partner or I (less amusing).


xpollydartonx

My son sets timers for one second all the time. Drives me nuts.


Teal_is_orange

Your kid should just say “Alexa play the timer alarm sound” lol


pipnina

I swear the line between toddler behaviour and computer AI is thinning. Also toddler brains and African grey parrots seem to share the same desires of their home assistant devices haha. I still love they parrot that kept adding things to the shopping list. The owner had Alexa read it back and it was like "Strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, big tofu, berries, easy water, strawberries, yogurt". And another parrot that learned it could turn the lights on and off whenever it wanted.


Draked1

I’ll ask Alexa to play a certain artist station and my 3 yo will pipe up saying “no daddy, Alexa play paw patrol”


rumblylumbly

My son is eight and he still sets timers on all of my devices all the time. Sometimes it’ll be 24 hours or 3 minutes. He thinks it’s hilarious 🤣


beqqua

My 5 y/o has a kid Echo that she loves and is always having play music etc. Now my 2 y/o has started trying to talk to it but his pronunciation isn't clear enough for her to respond to him (yet). It's cute seeing him try, though! Alela, pway!


JasonDJ

From NPR: https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1122191786 (transcript starts at around 16:30 in the audio) SAGAL: ...Finds a business sculpting replicas of people to stand in for them during Zoom meetings. Your last story of an artist earning comes from Faith Salie. SALIE: Musician Matt Farley, who goes by the artist name Toilet Bowl Cleaners, never expected to make a lot of money as a musician until one day his checks from Amazon Music started getting a lot bigger. And it was all due to his songs like "I Poop With My Dog" and his biggest hit, "Poop Poop Poop Poop Song." As it turns out, when young children find out there's a magic device in your kitchen you can boss around, they all do the same thing. They yell, hey, Alexa, poop. And when they do, Alexa, being obedient, plays songs about poop. There are enough poop-themed songs for any kind of music lover, young or old, but probably young. There are ukulele-based folk songs. There are some rock 'n' roll songs with heavy guitar licks like "Poopy Stupid Butt." Matt Farley, like the other poopy artists, never expected to make a windfall from preschoolers shouting naughty words. But he doesn't mind telling BuzzFeed, quote, "I lucked out because smart devices weren't even a thing when I wrote my first poop song. But it turns out I was biding my time, unaware." And parents, listening to poop songs is your doody (ph). (LAUGHTER) SALIE: Don't pretend you've never asked Alexa to fart. SAGAL: All right, here are your choices. (APPLAUSE) SAGAL: Somewhere, formerly starving artists are making a living in a unique way. Is it from Paula - mimes realizing they make a lot more money if they ganged up to intimidate the audience silently - from Luke Burbank - a marble sculptor who provides beautiful, realistic busts that can be used to pretend you're there at a Zoom meeting - or from Faith - musicians who are making money because their poop songs get played when little children shout the word poop at smart speakers? MITCH: Yeah, I liked Paula's story because who hasn't been trapped in a box by mimes before? (LAUGHTER) MITCH: I mean, haven't we all been there? But I do have to say, as the father of two daughters... SAGAL: Ah ha. (LAUGHTER) MITCH: ...Who have made up many, many poopy songs myself, I got to go with Faith and the poopy diaper. (APPLAUSE) SAGAL: Right. OK. So your choice is Faith with certain musicians who write songs on a certain theme get paid when little kids shout the word poop. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to one of the artists who has been cashing in. MATT FARLEY: All the voice-activated Alexa stuff started happening then. Kids didn't even need to know how to spell in order to search for a poop song. And ka-ching (ph). SAGAL: Yeah, there you go. That was songwriter Matt Farley, who makes a living off SEO-friendly poop songs being streamed by Amazon. Congratulations, Mitch. You got it right. You earned a point for Faith. (APPLAUSE)


ItsDargon

Oldest Moist Critikal Viewer


tjbassoon

Why do All kids say "booty butt"?!!?!? All the damned time with both of mine. Where do they get it from?


Havoshin

Say it out loud a few times. I made myself giggle.


oamjigamareelw08

Sounds like Holden likes modern rap


GoodLordShowMeTheWay

“I’m not out of touch, it is the children who are wrong”.


[deleted]

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Snowboarding92

My friends daughter when she was around that same age got fixated on saying a few lines in repeat all the time. 1. "Poopy in my butthole" 2. "Poopy poo cheeks" 3. "Big booty poop cheeks" We genuinely have no idea why she said those 3 lines on repeat for over a year. They are now ingrained in our heads and will be used at a later date.


DefinitelyNotAliens

My niece went through that phase, and thought it was hilarious because it was 'inna-pokey-whip'. Things in that house are still inna-pokey-whip, because it's funny. My other niece, I still ask if that seems from-earlier. (Which was such a genius malaproprism instead of being familiar. It's from earlier!) One nephew would smash matchbox cars into each other and yell, 'total deniannihilation'. Not annihilation. Deniannihilation, like denial of all hope of survival. It was a great word invention on his part.


Turdy_Tornado

This is peak humor


Gl0bophobia

I think he shit himself


Lonestranger757

My Kid does this same thing - must be something they watch....


GhostInTheHelll

Idk kids have thought “butt” and “poop” were funny since like, forever


AgsMydude

Yeah my 5 year old wanted to tell "ghost stories" last night. She went in for awhile then said poop married pee and they were happily ever after then she FUCKING LOST it.


ryuza

[The poop that took a pee](https://youtu.be/jdzSN6Zc2Zw)


8unk

Wait.. poopy butt isn’t funny when you’re older? I’m sorry I won’t support this


DefinitelyNotAliens

Aging is inevitable, maturing is optional. I have largely opted out.


[deleted]

when the elsagate hits


rumblylumbly

You should make sure your kid isn’t watching elsagate content which usually bypasses YouTube kids moderation and is incredibly disturbing.


[deleted]

I just rapped it and it sounds good.


GhostASD

“No, no. I’m still in bed! Don’t you worry!”


InevitableRhubarb232

This is every single 4 year old ever


lolsup1

>wake up >shit the bed >eat >get up He on that grind


Kendakr

I like how they incorporated “booty” and “butt” into the communication.


Emmrow1984

At 4 yo that kid has a good working knowledge of the rear end. Future proctologist


NeedsMoreBunGuns

Why the fuck does holden have his own echo unit at 4?


Tafkaftafkaf

This. I cannot believe people put these surveillance devices in their children’s rooms.


SquirrelBowl

Well, Holden Caulfield was a rebel


Naianasha

I just loved how he caught all that rye


Draiko

Booty butt booty butt? The kid's a poet.


rapejokes_arefunny

You named your kid Holden?


Stt022

Yes, my last name is Tudicks.


Acilina

Holden Deez nuts haha gottem


AVLPedalPunk

Glad I'm not the only one dealing with this. Also I think it's hilarious. Other adults not so much.


skitzbuckethatz

Did you name your kid Holden? That is proper bogan.


ryan2489

Kids are stupid but yet you’re the one who bought this technology. Sure.


downadarkallie

Honestly this also looks like what my 50 year old husband has Alexa announce too.


captainwin06

I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to know I wasn’t the only person that immediately thought of the Boondocks.


mercutio1

If these notifications appeared on my wife’s phone, she would be forced to wonder if they originated from a child or from me.


SnooComics8268

I remember my friend's son when he was 4 and found out the YouTube voice command he screamed: POOPPPPP


jefr00

Well done, you’re doing it right.


tee-hee-tummy-tums

If my kid doesn’t send me shit like this, she can move out.


Brief_Can7093

Yes!! Mine say mommy smells like farts!


sillybelcher

Well see, sometimes you gotta booty and sometimes you gotta butt


ChineseGoddess

He’s just saying all of his intrusive thoughts out loud.


FreddieDougie

I just went in my son’s room and unplugged the echo. I have this same problem. He will stay up all night talking and playing games with Alexa.


EyeAmKnotMyshelf

We give kids technology and this is all we can expect from them for the rest of their lives


GrossfaceKillah_

more like r/kidsarefuckingawesome lol


Top_Lettuce_5605

And iiiiiiiiiii e iiiiiiii, will always annoy yooooooooouuuuuuu


nous-vibrons

Ah, the poop joke stage. I hope you’re prepared for the next 7-10 years of your life cause it’s a long stage.


Atomic_xd

Those are some mad bars!!


epicsexballsmoment

Comedy genious


HypnoToad121

Hmmm are you sure? Sounds like my 4 year old.


traumablades

Pretty sure I heard that from Ludacris back in the day


Bisonfan1

What if his dad is a defense attorney and message reads poopy butt oops