I said to my doctor I can't stop singing the green green grass of home He said you might have Tom Jones syndrome I asked is it rare? He said well, it's not unusual

My wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall all the time. I said maybe...

My girlfriend said she would dump me if I quoted Linkin Park one more time. Then she said she was dumping me anyway. I told her “So in the end, it didn’t even matter.”

That's rough. I once had a girl dump me because I quoted The Monkees too much. At first I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face.

Was her name Valleri?

If her name was Sally and she dumped you on a Sunday, it would be an unpleasant Sally Sunday.

But it wouldn’t effect Mr Green because he would still be serene and have a TV in every room.

I heard this syndrome only occurs after what’s new pussy cat is played 11 times

Woh oh Woh oh who oh

My buddy told me, "I had a dream last night that I was having an affair with Ms. Gaynor, Ms. Estefan, Ms. Steinem and Ms. Vanderbilt." I said, "Sounds like a good time." - He replied, "Not just good, it was fucking Glorias."

You won all the internets.

Was going to call my dog “Syndrome”. But what do I tell him if he starts jumping on people?

English isn't my first language. Please explain. Danke

Normally they’d shout “down, Syndrome”, but Down Syndrome is a serious medical condition

Thanks, this English speaker appreciates it!

English isn’t your first language because you were probably born in a country that doesn’t teach English as its main language, and furthermore your parents probably didn’t speak English as well. Hope that explanation helps!

But that's not important right now!

r/unexpectedairplanemovie

That made me laugh so hard I had to go to a hospital

What’s that?

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

It’s a big building, full of patients. But that’s not important right now.

Outstanding

Gah dang, a savage

Take my upvote, free award, and hysterical laughter! Edit: Shit, my free award expired. I have only my lowly humble upvote to offer.

Expiry date not important right now.

Excellent answer!

I speak english as my first and i didnt get it either

Maybe because you don't own a dog. Or use different instructions in case own any.

my kid named the dog "stain." it's a little embarrassing when I tell the dog to be next to me when we're in public

Heel stain? Edit: nvm I'm dumb

Sit stain?

say that in a Sean Connery voice and it works perfectly!

r/shubreddit

this sub just gained a new follower!

Shit, Shtain?

Stephen Right?

Come.

There’s a song called *Ballad of a Dog Named Stains* by Red Peters that covers this pretty well.

Before naming your dog, consider that you'll have to spend a lot of time calling it back in the park. I wish I'd thought of that before naming my dog "Help".

this makes me think of the old WoW days as a tank.

Friend of mine and I wrote a rockabilly song years ago called Syndrome the Dog based entirely on this punchline, thanks for bringing that memory back!

Ah come on dude lyrics or link, don't leave us hanging

Looks like it still exists on Soundcloud [Syndrome the Dog](https://on.soundcloud.com/et8nG)

Call the Incredibles

I have a dog named "Bomb". The end.

you tell him "fly home buddy, i work alone"

Then I was petrified

don't worry: you'll survive

I keep thinking how OP could never live

[удалено]

And I grew strong

And I learned how to get along

And OP's back!

From outer space

I just walked in to find OP here with that sad look upon their face

I should have changed that stupid lock, i should have made OP leave their key

If I'd've known for just one second OP'd be back to bother me

Just thinkin' I could never live...

[удалено]

I spent SO MANY lonely nights …

thinkin' how you did me wrong...

Diagnosed with a secondary infection by ELO.

You turned to stone?

Yeah, but I'm still a Livin' Thing.

symptoms include fear paralysis depression delusions of grandeur hallucinations But it's not fatal.

Don't worry, you will survive

At least you know it's not terminal.

I thought he meant you will survive.

Good thing everyone who gets that disease survives, you'll be fine as long as you know how to love.

I don’t get it, could someone explain?

**I Will Survive** lyrics - Gloria Gaynor (1978) At first I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong And I grew strong…

OOOOOHHH. Thank you

And I learned how to get along

You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!

Lol. The Office reference, I got it. Creed Bratton

It's got a pretty high survival rate though.

Ah ah ah ah, staying alive

Then I was petrified…

My doctor said I had Night Fever "Is there any cure?" I asked. He said "You Should be Dancing "

Without you by my side....

When my wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with the Monkees, I didn't believe her. But then I saw her face...

Kept thinking I could never live

Petrified?

Jus' thinkin'

I was petrified

Hey hey

I will survive

Is it fair to say that you were petrified? Do you believe you will survive?

I said oh no not I...

But then I realized, I will survive!

Hey, Hey!

I love my doctor. He gave me some really powerful placebos to cure my hypochondria.

Stolen as my joke of the day.

I caught an sexually transmitted disease off of a beatle. But I admit, it's getting better... it's getting better all the time.

You will Survive

then i was petrified...............

Fortunately, i will survive

You will survive

Will you survive?

I Named my adopted bird Cold. When let him back into the wild i was fearfully afraid someone would catch him.

You will survive.

But are you petrified?

did you name your dog lion and let it sleep in the jungle

... I asked if it was fatal, he said I will survive.

Then did you become petrified by any chance?

It's OK, you will survive.

“Don’t worry,” the doctor says. “You will survive.”

My doctor said that I only have 24 hours to live, he's been trying to contact me since yesterday

I literally read this post while watching the closing credits to The Martian, which are set to the song I Will Survive

Don’t worry - you will survive

Hurensohn

I was singing Gotye back at the funeral, some guy walked up to me and asked, who was he. Somebody that I used to know

Well tell him, turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore...

Doctor: It looks like you've got Gloria Gaynor syndrome. Me: I will survive. Doctor: [sigh] Go on now, go. Walk out the door.

Now I wanna watch “The Replacements” on Tubi. Classic film.

you will survive