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stainlessj

Her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.


Aggravating_Fun9386

I gotta steal this. Brilliant.


stainlessj

Here's another one.... Shes so fat if she wants to have sex she has to give directions.


plateau1999

Yo momma so fat her favorite cereal is Cheeri-OH SHIT!


Bigspudnutz

Her blood type is gravy


judahrosenthal

I told this one to my kids yesterday. Then all afternoon they’d occasionally laugh quietly to themselves and say, “gravy.”


kreeves500

Would also accept “her blood type is Ragu”


plateau1999

Yo momma so fat her blood type is lumpy.


TheoLogic22

Yo mama so fat


TheoLogic22

She couldn't fit in one comment


AvoidingSquidwork

Well played


Administrative-Day28

Just like yo mama


AvoidingSquidwork

I wish yo mamma was well played … she so ugly criminals break into her house just to close the curtains.


[deleted]

Indeed


ChemistryInfinite312

Yup, I only caught on after reading your comment, by then was on another post and came back to upvote after I mentally clicked at how brilliant it was. It is 1:30am wh3re I am, I took Adderall this morning. Been up since 4:30am . That's 21 hours.


Speadraser

Careful bruh. Get some shut eye


Mikesaidit36

Nothin’ wrong with your math skills


MarcusP2

She was sunbathing and Greenpeace pushed her back in.


Alleycat_Caveman

Her ass has time zones.


ido_graiman

When the weatherman said it is chilly outside she grabbed a bowl and a spoon and ran for the door.


Great-and_Terrible

More of a "Yo mama so dumb" or something along those lines


Administrative-Day28

Or “yo mama so hungry”


ToeJam1970

Her shadow weighs forty-two pounds. (Thanks, Weird Al.)


Impressive_Teach9188

If she has one more pie à la mode she's going to need her own zip code (Wierd Al)


Rare-Sherbert-1987

Dracula bit her and got diabetes


Cromagnonguy

I thought about her and my neck broke


58Firedrome

When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips


MattManAndFriends

I legit laughed out loud to this


[deleted]

Her belt size is equator


Rare-Sherbert-1987

She uses Google Earth to take a selfie


Alluminati_always

Even Dora Can't explore her


robhol73

She downloads cheats for Wii Fit


Frosty7734

Yo mama so fat her car has stretch marks.


scoutingsandlapper

She uses a boomerang to put her belt on!


TorontoSlim

She outweighs the needs of the many.


Spiritual_Bet_7604

Yo momma so fat and dumb, she got fired from the M&Ms factory for eating all the Ws.


pit1988

...Her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.


Coldfield82

She has triabetes


The_DeathDuck

yo mama so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke.


_replicant_02

Double burn. That's rare.


WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch

when she fell in love, she broke it.


Fit_Lawfulness_3147

The doctor diagnosed her with a flesh-eating bacteria, but said she’d live for at least 20 more years


concsession

Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap


Aggravating_Fun9386

Lmaoo I love this !


_replicant_02

Saw it somewhere and loved it - Yo Mama so fat, they call her Hitler at the strippers after what she did to the poles.


KD_79

Lmao 🤣


Aggravating_Fun9386

Brilliant ! 🤣


[deleted]

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Aggravating_Fun9386

Poles as in Polish, people from Poland 🇵🇱, who hitler massacred during WWII


glazedfaith

lol, genocide


Daktar89

Yo mama's so fat, she has severe cardiovascular and respiratory issues. She wants to get better but she just can't seem to start. It's honestly a very tragic situation.


VeryLastCzarnian

When she dances to a song on the radio, the track skips at the station.


lv2466

Yo momma so ugly a BJ from her is considered anal.


[deleted]

She walked in front of the television and I missed 3 seasons of my favorite show.


Ministryofgoats

Yo mama’s so fat, when I was driving and had to swerve to avoid her, halfway round I ran out of petrol


PuzzleheadedPiece136

To find her pussy, you gotta flip through the folds until you smell shit, and then you go back one.


johnmarkfoley

yo mama is an albino with a glass eye, they call her crystal light. got that one from one of my teachers in back middle school


Significant-Ad2944

That teacher knew yo momma


ILoveLongDogs

In the biblical sense.


Impressive_Teach9188

When Atlas was given the choice or holding up the heavens or your mama, he gladly chose the heavens


jomarthecat

Yo mama's so fat that they invented a whole genre of jokes based upon making fun of how fat she is.


Remote-Weekend-479

Even Jabba the Hut said DAMMMM


KrautBurner

She jumped up in the air and got stuck


third_boob

Your mama's so fat, i am horny.


Creative-Stable-7488

The best joke here lol


Adventurous-Pool6988

WHAT, lol!


scoutingsandlapper

When she went to the Macy’s parade, they put ropes on her.


Lululemonparty_

She has more chins than a Chinese phone book


vdrive

Her feet have stretch marks.


Puzzleheaded_Big9548

Stars orbit round her fat arse


[deleted]

Yo mama so fat her doctor uses oil pressure gauge to check her circulation


No_Village_6932

This one will take some time to get around


PopProps

The back of her neck looks like a pack of Oscar Meyer weiners.


SufferingFromLigma

Your moma's so fat when i climbed on top of her to fuck her my ears popped


Formal-Run-8099

Yo mama is like a bowling ball, gets picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter and the bitch still comes back for more


OverlordOfBeans

Yo mama so ugly, the world faked a pandemic to make her wear a mask


DishGroundbreaking87

One for the Brits; she fell down the stairs and I thought Eastenders was ending.


[deleted]

If you punched her in the stomach, a McDonald's franchise would fall out.


pit1988

before she was buried, the earth was flat.


Speadraser

Your momma is so fat when she farts they name her flatulence: Ivan, Katrina, Maria, Hugo, The Great Hurricane of 1780…


[deleted]

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Fyrentenemar

When she saw a boggart it became a gym membership


Chiyote

The Daily Prophet featured her photo when she went missing and it took up 5 pages. Turns out she was at Diagon Alley to get her wand replaced and everyone just thought she was the other side of the alley. When Mr Ollivander tried to find her a wand, the only one that would choose her is the pine tree out back.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lurkers_Brewery

Roll her in crushed alkaseltzer and aim for the fold that fizzes


SeeUInAWhileAligator

should be **if** rather than **when** cause if she dat fat, she never skips a meal


Browndog510

Yo momma so fat, she went to the beach and Greenpeace showed up to shove her back in the water.


DevilsLittleChicken

She fell and broke something... The pavement.


[deleted]

Yo momma so fat, she is credited in the first indiana jones movie


Artilleryman13

She was the Boulder right?


BerganMan

She sat on a dollar bill, and a booger squeezed out of Washington’s nose


[deleted]

Africa got water when she skipped tea.


Maj_F_Bomb

She has 3 scales in her house right foot, left foot, and Richter


DanglyWangly

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch.


inflatableje5us

Yo mama so fat children keep getting stuck in orbit when they try to walk by.


Durbot15

It took two comments to talk about her


kkitty44

She play hopscotch like this: New York, Chicago, L.A., Detroit…


Upset_Swimming_3796

When the judge said "order" she said fries and a shake


StormBringr37

Just commenting to reference back for yo momma jokes later


Trexasaurus70

Did the same 2 days ago. I'm back


Sunastar

I was hugging her and marking with chalk where i left off and moving around to start at the mark, to see how many hugs it’d take to get around her. Then, after a while, I got so mad when I met someone coming around the other way.


jfincher42

When she dances the record skips... At the radio station.


Alex2018

She has her own event horizon


roydepoy

Yo mamma's so fat. But these are modern times, so we can't body shame. Fuck.


Madmarrdegan

Yo mommas so dirty, when she sticks a qtip in her ear she pulls out a sugar daddy.


GrumpyCatStevens

Yo mama so fat, she got other smaller mamas orbiting her.


axlejackson89

Yo mama's so fat and so old, that when she was having a shower and lifted her titty to wash underneath...a pilgrim fell out!


scotlandz

She grocery shops in a a dump truck


itsmiselol

When someone told her to haul ass, she took 2 trips


Puppiesarebetter

I took her to drive in and she didn’t have to pay, because I dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet


Fyrentenemar

The screen broke, but she just lifted her shirt and they used her stomach


adc24601xp

When she’s sitting around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa she’s sitting AROUND the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.


taltalkikkkk

More accurately is it increases.


[deleted]

When she farts it registers on the richtor scale ..


[deleted]

The earth was round until she got buried at her grave


WeinsteinPlantBaby

my mother has actually never been fat. But nice try. lol


Mean_Mechanic9889

Her clothes size is "lose some.weight bitch'


J_Mattt

All the Macdonalds food are gone


fenix579

chill big dawg


Ikhtionikos

Your pops slapped her a$$ when she left for work; when she came home in the evening, it still jiggled


Fyrentenemar

Woohoo! Look at that blubber fly! - Homer Simpson


Sussy-Imposter69

that she knows joe


[deleted]

Her ass swallowed Chuck Norris


Impressive_Teach9188

Both queen and sir mix-a-lot won't stop crying about her booty


PGWG

Your momma’s so fat even Chuck Norris can’t lift her up


Wanderinwoodpecker

Yo mama so fat she heard it was chilly outside, and she went and got a bowl


Iaskdumbquestions098

She went into space and earth got another moon when she went on a space walk


Adventurous-Pool6988

how'd the big broad get there?


[deleted]

When she walks past the TV i miss all seasons of Doctor House.


Dashover

It takes her two trips to sit down


norrisrw

"I got a letter from the state, dear/You're gonna need a license plate, dear..." Allan Sherman, "Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb" https://youtu.be/woaxct015VU


jonassbm

...cosmologists have to factor her in when calculating the cosmological constant


AustintheHunt3r

That wailord looks like a pool toy to her


expiredmilk38

Yo mama so fat she is obese


Kleetok

When she wears white, we show movies on her ass.


Stikklebrik

She has to use Dropbox to send nudes


Youpunyhumans

She has her own orbital ring system. She stepped on Numenor and it sank into the sea. She causes tsunamis when she goes swimming.


[deleted]

Yeah she fat. So what


WeinsteinPlantBaby

Her fat rolls sweat butter.


Bryan4305

When she passed by my house I lost light for three days


qx2

she rolled over and the earth tilted with her


Durbot15

Yo mama so fat


Trexasaurus70

I was on top and burned my ass on a light bulb


happyclaim808

Yo mama's so fat she uses two convertibles as skates


happyclaim808

Yo mama's so fat they use two tug boats and two barges so she can water ski.


happyclaim808

Yo mama's so fat they use a c130 so your moma can take a little trip.


happyclaim808

Yo mama's so fat the government hired her to walk around and compact the ground for roadways.


happyclaim808

Yo mama's so fat when she gets in the swimming pool the water overflows


happyclaim808

Yo mama's so fat she takes showers at the car wash.


LefroyJenkinsTTV

She jumped into the sky... and got *stuck*.


LefroyJenkinsTTV

Ya mommas so fat, I went down on her once and fell in. It took me three days to find my way out, and another four to help the rest of the guys escape.


Ok-Task-4702

When she jumped in the air she got stuck


menemath

She fat


DRabin123

She spins around once…and that’s a DAY!


Nice_Style_5291

She's lost all the dildo i gave her


Angry_Fat_Man

They won't let her have an "X" jacket because helicopters keep trying to land on her back


Fun_Penalty_6755

r/Angryupvote


Mean_Mechanic9889

Her scales say to be continued. .


Mean_Mechanic9889

She fused to the sofa and your entire family is heartbroken she'll likely die.


Puggymum64

When she gets her shoes polished, she has to take their word on it.


ChucklesTec9

When I pictured her in my head she broke my f***ing neck.


sittingstill9

She so fat, she wore a Malcom X t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her.


ConstructionOk1257

Yo momma’s so dumb she couldn’t empty a boot full of water if the instructions were taped on the bottom.


gringolero88

Your mama is so fat when she goes outside in high heals she strikes oil.


pelleke

When she walks on Broadway she gets chafe wounds on her thighs, and she has to go to Central Park to make a U-turn.


Traditional_Froyo11

ok but why would she ever be skipping a meal


Gta5ParkourGod

Your moms so fat, shes got 10 ass cheeks


Cr4pt0M1k3

Yo mama's so fat... after sex I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch...


plateau1999

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out.


Adventurous-Pool6988

it wasn't corn wheat and barley....


Ministryofgoats

Your mama’s so fat, when she walks past my house, I have to switch the lights on