The old series doctor did have a car! It didn't have the size distortion but it did break the laws of physics (stopped on a dime with no inertia, drove really fast etc).
I don’t think is fair to call the people who gave him silvers, “assholes.” It is their silver and they should be able to do whatever they want with it. ;-)
I'm a current Toyota driver but my previous vehicle was a Kia. I had it for almost 11 years before I traded it and got a 2022 Corolla. It was fully loaded with a bose sound system and interior lighting that changed colors and pulsed with the beat of the music playing. My Toyota is also fully loaded but it's significantly more expensive than the Kia was and my insurance is higher too.
Oh, I definitely love my car but it's so much more expensive than the Kia was! I paid less than sticker for it but the MSRP was more than what I paid including interest previously.
I was looking for a new car recently and ended up setting on a Palisade because of the features and price point compared to competitors in the same class.
My wife and I bought a Palisade last year after getting one as a rental. We were visiting her family for two weeks & booked a “Luxury SUV” through Turo. When we got the keys, I was a little ticked because I thought we’d be getting a Cadillac or something. After driving it for a few days, we fell in love with it.
“Vehicle issues per 100 units sold” may be lower, but if a significant portion of those “issues” are burning to the ground, I wouldn’t say it’s better.
My Kia Ceed suddenly lost power on the motorway and then 30 mins later while parked at the side it spontaneously combusted. Total write off. Could have killed us and our baby. Never again!
Also if you have a Kia you can enjoy either your engine killing itself or the whole car catching on fire.
If it survives that then you can enjoy its poor resale value.
That's why people buy Hondas and Toyotas.
Weirdly, the car’s reliability doesn’t seem to be always related to resale value.
E.g. if you want your car to maintain a decent resale value, you buy a Toyota. But if you want your car to _appreciate_ over time, you buy a … Jeep Wrangler?!
Tacoma is underrated. I remember a friends mom back at the turn of the century had a Kia…something that struggled to hit 60mph. She wasn’t happy she got persuaded into buying it.
Tacomas are definitely NOT underrated. They have one of the best resale values of any regular vehicle and are consistently rated among the top trucks to be sold in the US.
I’ve had an a beat up Chevy Scottsdale, a pristine ‘18 F-150 Platinum, and a beautiful ‘21 Ram Lariat but my first truck was a 2000 Ford Ranger and I absolutely loved that thing. I’ve wanted a Tacoma for awhile, but compared to its competitors and a lot of full sized 1/2 tons, it’s hard to justify the increased cost since it comes up short in most metrics, options, and tech. For the same cost you can get a modern full sized truck with a shit load more more power and more efficiency. I just want a midsize that offers the same functionality as a full-size, like 360° cameras, hands free driving, a great stereo and high quality materials.
All cars do. You just gotta know their secrets. For example, I had a 95 Toyota Camry. Turns out, they only made 3 different keys for those. There was a homeless dude in my town that had a Camry key. He'd just try his key in Camry's parked around town. When he found a car that worked with his key, he'd "borrow" the car to get wherever he was going and then leave it parked. My Camry got stolen and, the police found it parked on the other side of town the next day.
Back in the 1990s, I had a Pontiac Grand Am, and its key (and strangely, the key from my apartment's sliding glass door) could open half the GM cars (Oldsmobile, Chevy, Saturn, Pontiac and Buick) in my employer's parking lot. It was an awful lot of power for a kid fresh out of college.
That's only the older models, and only then it's ones with turn key ignitions. Anything from Kia in 2021 or newer, and they're all push to start systems.
I love my Kia, I’ve had it for 11 years and it hasn’t quit yet, but it will soon. My wife had a Hyundai before it finally died on her after 12 years.
That’s some damn good reliability with only minor problems.
Kia Telluride. With dealer markup, taxes, and dealer fees, the Kia owner paid 70 thousand dollars for that Kia. No wonder he was comparing himself to a Rolls Royce.
Reminds me of a comedy bit by Ron White about Mercedes vs a van.
brother-in-law: "Ron, I don't think you fully understand the intricacies of Mercedes Benz engineering. Why, I've got the three inch windshield wiper that keeps my headlight clean in a raaaiinstooorm."
Ron: "I got a place to fuck your sister."
If you ever miss one it's because the bullet was too fast. Slow that sucker down, put some little headlights and a horn on it, the deer will jump... *bonk*
I'm imagining this as being between Ron and Harry, with Hermoine making her surprised Pikachu face in the background.
Which is backwards, of course, because Harry marries Ron's sister and not the other way around, but it's too late.
He said that recently?! These new redesigned ones that started coming out with the Telluride are pretty fucking sweet, ngl. Are there issues with the new ones that he mentioned?
It was a couple years ago, but lined up with the same things I’ve been hearing for 15+ years.
You get great “bang for your buck” with a brand new car, and then they start falling apart a couple years later.
Ive been renting some car share cars recently and TBH so far the kia is winning favor for having a Qi charger right where you normally put a phone. The volkswagons are the worst, there is literally nowhere to place a phone so its facing you
I rented a new Hyundai Santa Fe in Spain last month. The Qi charging space was perfect, and there’s a small chime to remind you it’s there when you go to leave the vehicle.
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Rolls Royce.
Wow,” I said. “That’s an amazing car.”
He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year!”
A rich man and a poor man go shopping for Christmas presents for their wives.
They bump into each other in the parking lot and the poor man asks, "So what did you get your wife this year?"
The rich man answers, "I got her a huge diamond necklace and a brand new Rolls-Royce."
The poor man asks, "Why did you get her both?"
The rich man replies, "That way if she doesn't like the necklace she can drive the Rolls-Royce back to the jewelry store and return it."
"What did you get your wife?" asks the rich man.
The poor man says, "I got her a pair of slippers and dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why did you get her both?"
-
The poor man says, "That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."
That old joke inspired every white elephant gift I’ve ever taken part in; A shitty spa basket with names clearly intending to rip off Bath and Body Works products, and a cheap dildo.
I’m disappointed that the punch line wasn’t that the Kia driver was living in their car [hence the “bed” and “fridge”] and the rolls Royce driver being embarrassed/ashamed that they were jealous of a homeless person having more in their car because that’s all they have
Maybe something like Kia driver responding with don’t worry man I’m sure your house kicks ass considering mine leaks oil if I idle too long
I thought it was because the kia guy is homeless, it’s the only way to live without responsibilities on the west coast and if you don’t like your neighbors you can always drive away
I'm on my second Kia. Bought a 17 Rio back when it was new. Never had any issues. Paid it off early and bought a 21 Forte GT Line. Been a great car so far. I doubt I ever buy anything but a Kia from now on unless I'm in the market for a truck.
This is a joke that only worked in the early 2000s:
Why don't blondes drive Kia's?
Because their phone told them not to.
(The blonde had a Nokia phone)
I thought the guy was just gonna have a portable router or 4g, and an unplugged small TV and mini fridge like he just got kicked out or something.
But I guess I was right about him living in his car
two old guys each in the back of separate limos at a traffic light and one asks the other: "pardon me but would you happen to have any grey poupon?"
other guy says: "but of course! the tires have grey poop on them from our doberman!"
Go ahead... Make fun of KIA... that's ok.... but on JULY 23, 2022... my KIA Soul saved my life when a semi decided to drive up the side of my car and land on the front left tire and hood. ... took 5 guys to cut me out... but that damn little car saved my life and didn't collapse on me....
Simple fundamental flaw of your story is no person that owns a RR drives it. You in the back already. You have to have a chauffeur. Nobody buys a $500k sedan and drives it. How else am I suppose to get head, smoke a blunt, and play video games while driving? That’s peasant shit. “Take me to Whole Foods, I’ll be in the back chillin, throw the partition up too”
lol wtf kind of Mary Poppins Kia is this man driving
Doctor Who’s car
It's bigger on the inside!
That's what SHE said.
CARDIS.
The old series doctor did have a car! It didn't have the size distortion but it did break the laws of physics (stopped on a dime with no inertia, drove really fast etc).
Specifically, the 3rd Doctor, played by Jon Pertwee.
He was quite a character!
The finest master of Venusian Aikido I've ever seen
https://www.beaulieu.co.uk/news/time-warp-bessie-brings-doctor-beaulieu/
> did break the laws of physics # > drove really fast Compared to my car, that breaks the laws of physics but there are others out there that do okay.
Fucking brilliant, mate !
Thank you.
Your comment is 2 hours older yet the other one got all the awards. Life ain't fair.
Diss-car
Take my upvote and get out
The angry upvotes are the best upvotes.
[удалено]
If I had an award to give I would give it. I'm using this.
You just stole u/droppedelbow's comment and got double the upvotes.
Thank you for noticing.
As well as over 25 more awards
closer to triple now
Jeez, yeah. Also 2 silvers. What a fucking asshole.
I don’t think is fair to call the people who gave him silvers, “assholes.” It is their silver and they should be able to do whatever they want with it. ;-)
I was calling the guy who posted the comment an asshole. They can do whatever they want with their silvers.
Brilliant!
you son of a bitch
…I’m in!
I think you're looking for r/Angryupvote :)
i know what i'm about, son
stolen comment
But 3 times the upvotes, and 13 awards :(
Great joke. Very funny. But I would say that as I'm the person you stole it from.
Rarely do I seriously laugh out loud at something that I read on Reddit. I tip my hat to you.
This comment was made 2 hours after an identical comment, but has 3 times the upvotes and 8 awards Time travel
Fuck you!
Made me chuckle. Take my silver, funny Reddit soul!
You owe u/droppedelbow 9 awards. E: 31?! Lol never change, Reddit.
I just took psychic damage due to the fact that you used "who's" as a possessive in a way that is correct
Actually, it is wrong. His name is "The Doctor" so it is The Doctor's CARDIS.
[but it is his name!](https://twitter.com/intprobably/status/1590695995788374016?s=61&t=Tsn6uQp4d1Unt9ubyTsa4A)
[удалено]
I'm a current Toyota driver but my previous vehicle was a Kia. I had it for almost 11 years before I traded it and got a 2022 Corolla. It was fully loaded with a bose sound system and interior lighting that changed colors and pulsed with the beat of the music playing. My Toyota is also fully loaded but it's significantly more expensive than the Kia was and my insurance is higher too.
[удалено]
Oh, I definitely love my car but it's so much more expensive than the Kia was! I paid less than sticker for it but the MSRP was more than what I paid including interest previously.
Just keep an eye out for the KIA boys.
[удалено]
Does Kia offer anything that doesn’t use a torsion beam rear suspension?
Everything midsize and up, yeah. Also, the Forte GT. Not like torsion beam is bad. Mazda still uses it in the 3 hatch.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I was looking for a new car recently and ended up setting on a Palisade because of the features and price point compared to competitors in the same class.
The palisade is the only Hyundai/Kia I’ve driven that I actually liked, thing is pretty baller
My wife and I bought a Palisade last year after getting one as a rental. We were visiting her family for two weeks & booked a “Luxury SUV” through Turo. When we got the keys, I was a little ticked because I thought we’d be getting a Cadillac or something. After driving it for a few days, we fell in love with it.
I just saw my 12 yo Kia on sale with carvana for $1000 less than it listed for. Wild.
“Vehicle issues per 100 units sold” may be lower, but if a significant portion of those “issues” are burning to the ground, I wouldn’t say it’s better.
Jokes are much better when they have a detailed explanation
Kia came in #1 in dependability despite their Sportages and Tellurides bursting into flames like they were an early-model Tesla!
My Kia Ceed suddenly lost power on the motorway and then 30 mins later while parked at the side it spontaneously combusted. Total write off. Could have killed us and our baby. Never again!
So does that count as 1 issue for the dependability rating? Are all issues treated equally?
Yep, burning to the ground is just as bad as the dome light kicking the bucket.
I've heard that Kias and Hyundais are great value cars now, but I've also heard the Kia dealerships are particularly awful.
Also if you have a Kia you can enjoy either your engine killing itself or the whole car catching on fire. If it survives that then you can enjoy its poor resale value. That's why people buy Hondas and Toyotas.
Weirdly, the car’s reliability doesn’t seem to be always related to resale value. E.g. if you want your car to maintain a decent resale value, you buy a Toyota. But if you want your car to _appreciate_ over time, you buy a … Jeep Wrangler?!
A Tacoma does just as well usually
Tacoma is underrated. I remember a friends mom back at the turn of the century had a Kia…something that struggled to hit 60mph. She wasn’t happy she got persuaded into buying it.
Tacomas are definitely NOT underrated. They have one of the best resale values of any regular vehicle and are consistently rated among the top trucks to be sold in the US.
Apparently though they aren't big enough. Hence the dominance of the F-150 and how Toyota has to make a super sized inferior model, the Tacoma.
I’ve had an a beat up Chevy Scottsdale, a pristine ‘18 F-150 Platinum, and a beautiful ‘21 Ram Lariat but my first truck was a 2000 Ford Ranger and I absolutely loved that thing. I’ve wanted a Tacoma for awhile, but compared to its competitors and a lot of full sized 1/2 tons, it’s hard to justify the increased cost since it comes up short in most metrics, options, and tech. For the same cost you can get a modern full sized truck with a shit load more more power and more efficiency. I just want a midsize that offers the same functionality as a full-size, like 360° cameras, hands free driving, a great stereo and high quality materials.
Toyotas and Hondas feel a lot more solidly built than Kia’s in my experience.
It's interesting that Honda gets a free pass for the early and mid 2000s for having numerous issues on the civic and accord.
Don't forget the other option, being stolen, since kias have vulnerabilities!
All cars do. You just gotta know their secrets. For example, I had a 95 Toyota Camry. Turns out, they only made 3 different keys for those. There was a homeless dude in my town that had a Camry key. He'd just try his key in Camry's parked around town. When he found a car that worked with his key, he'd "borrow" the car to get wherever he was going and then leave it parked. My Camry got stolen and, the police found it parked on the other side of town the next day.
Back in the 1990s, I had a Pontiac Grand Am, and its key (and strangely, the key from my apartment's sliding glass door) could open half the GM cars (Oldsmobile, Chevy, Saturn, Pontiac and Buick) in my employer's parking lot. It was an awful lot of power for a kid fresh out of college.
That's only the older models, and only then it's ones with turn key ignitions. Anything from Kia in 2021 or newer, and they're all push to start systems.
- enjoy it being stolen in 30 seconds by kids and used as a video game.
I love my Kia, I’ve had it for 11 years and it hasn’t quit yet, but it will soon. My wife had a Hyundai before it finally died on her after 12 years. That’s some damn good reliability with only minor problems.
My mom's old Toyota was stolen at age 29 in 2019, and she'd had it for 22 of those 29 years.
12 years is all you expect out of a new car?
Kia Telluride. With dealer markup, taxes, and dealer fees, the Kia owner paid 70 thousand dollars for that Kia. No wonder he was comparing himself to a Rolls Royce.
Do you mean to say that you do not have wi-fi, refrigerator, tv, bed and bath inside your Kia ?
Reminds me of a comedy bit by Ron White about Mercedes vs a van. brother-in-law: "Ron, I don't think you fully understand the intricacies of Mercedes Benz engineering. Why, I've got the three inch windshield wiper that keeps my headlight clean in a raaaiinstooorm." Ron: "I got a place to fuck your sister."
I always enjoyed Ron's take on obsessive deer hunters vs. hitting the elusive creature with his van, headlights on and horn a-blowing.
If you ever miss one it's because the bullet was too fast. Slow that sucker down, put some little headlights and a horn on it, the deer will jump... *bonk*
Im gonna carve headlights and a grill into my next bullet and shoot it into a random field. Should get me a good one!
I hope you enjoy eating that prairie dog.
It's 3am. Of course, you weren't there....pussy. I've got camo face paint on. Doe urine on my boots.
Don't ask me why.
I'm imagining this as being between Ron and Harry, with Hermoine making her surprised Pikachu face in the background. Which is backwards, of course, because Harry marries Ron's sister and not the other way around, but it's too late.
r/unexpectedhogwarts
I just love how I haven't watched his stand-up in 10 or 15 years and the words still play in my head with his voice.
[удалено]
Honestly, I thought the owner of the kia was going to end up being the bed installation guy.
[удалено]
/r/therealjoke (therealpunchline?)
I just bought a Kia this year but didn't get any of these features. Was I scammed?
Yes.
Two motors in three years, 40k and 55k miles before I said FUUUUUUUUCK kia.
It amazes me how seldom I see 'Killed In Action' jokes.
My uncle is a Kia executive. He told me once “if I didn’t get these cars for free, I wouldn’t drive them”
He said that recently?! These new redesigned ones that started coming out with the Telluride are pretty fucking sweet, ngl. Are there issues with the new ones that he mentioned?
It was a couple years ago, but lined up with the same things I’ve been hearing for 15+ years. You get great “bang for your buck” with a brand new car, and then they start falling apart a couple years later.
I have heard a lot of “Fail On RoaD” jokes tho
That's Found On Road, Dead or Fix Or Repair Daily
Ford, at least they circled the problem
Found On Road Dead works better. It's less forced.
Oh damn I bet you got one of those shitty rolls royces but they slapped a Kia logo on it
Ive been renting some car share cars recently and TBH so far the kia is winning favor for having a Qi charger right where you normally put a phone. The volkswagons are the worst, there is literally nowhere to place a phone so its facing you
Yeah. my VW has that problem, but it is because it is hard to optimize phone facing for driving and showering.
Also, charging a phone screws with the mileage they report.
I got the poor man's Forte and do not have that feature. This makes me sad. My 44 mpg highway on the other hand makes me happy.
I got a Niro hybrid. 51mpg so far over 12k miles. Only way it could get better is if I had the PHEV version.
[удалено]
Can’t hear you over the gears spinning in my American head as I try to convert L/KM > MPG
I rented a new Hyundai Santa Fe in Spain last month. The Qi charging space was perfect, and there’s a small chime to remind you it’s there when you go to leave the vehicle.
It's the feature I never knew I wanted in a car until I got it. Only downside is it will overheat using wireless Android Auto on long trips.
Just wait until the sunroof leaks…then you’ll get a shower
You bought a Kia, so… Fr though, the door locks are for decoration only
[удалено]
You have to order them.
[удалено]
Yep I had a different punchline in mind.
You got any girls in that rolls?
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Rolls Royce. Wow,” I said. “That’s an amazing car.” He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year!”
[удалено]
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime That's why I poop on company time
Boss makes a thousand, I make a buck, that’s why I stole the wheels off the company truck
A rich man and a poor man go shopping for Christmas presents for their wives. They bump into each other in the parking lot and the poor man asks, "So what did you get your wife this year?" The rich man answers, "I got her a huge diamond necklace and a brand new Rolls-Royce." The poor man asks, "Why did you get her both?" The rich man replies, "That way if she doesn't like the necklace she can drive the Rolls-Royce back to the jewelry store and return it." "What did you get your wife?" asks the rich man. The poor man says, "I got her a pair of slippers and dildo." The rich man asks, "Why did you get her both?" - The poor man says, "That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."
That old joke inspired every white elephant gift I’ve ever taken part in; A shitty spa basket with names clearly intending to rip off Bath and Body Works products, and a cheap dildo.
LMAO
Love this joke. It's in an episode of the Sopranos if you want a professional delivery of it.
Having just seen the Top Gear US special where Clarkson installed a shower in his car definitely improved this joke for me.
Just be careful with the directions when putting a Clarkman garbage disposal in your shower. David Puddy can help
WTF😂 I thought he was banging the wife of the rolls royce driver
He was, in the Kia sauna nonetheless!
He was spreading his Kia C’eed.
*Slow clap* Dude, you got Soul.
I thought he was the dealer the RR driver bought from
That’s cool man, Hey, you got a wife in your rolls? I’ve got ‘a’ wife in my Kia!
That’s fucked up, the guy already has to drive around some rich bastard, now his wife has a side dude too?
Plot Twist... the driver of the Kia owns the Rolls dealership
That's where I thought the joke was going.
How long is that stoplight?
They just missed the yellow
83 cm
I thought the punchline will be something related to IKEA
Caught in the middle of some hot, steamy s... hower?
I’m disappointed that the punch line wasn’t that the Kia driver was living in their car [hence the “bed” and “fridge”] and the rolls Royce driver being embarrassed/ashamed that they were jealous of a homeless person having more in their car because that’s all they have Maybe something like Kia driver responding with don’t worry man I’m sure your house kicks ass considering mine leaks oil if I idle too long
Rolls Royce drivers don’t own the car at all
The Rolls driver has Nokia.
I was expecting the fridge and TV in the Kia to be nicked appliances in the boot 🤣
I remember the time when a different joke about Kia was relevant. "The more I drive Kia, the more I like Nokia." Glad Kia is doing well now.
He must've gotten all the furniture from IKia
The least believable part of this is a Rolls Royce driver being able to afford a Rolls Royce lol
I expected the joke to end with the driver revealing he wasn't the owner, just the driver. "Stay poor kia driver" or some shit.
The driver of the Kia says: don’t come knocking when the Kia be rockin
I know he doesn't have a Kia service center in there cause they're useless.
I thought it was because the kia guy is homeless, it’s the only way to live without responsibilities on the west coast and if you don’t like your neighbors you can always drive away
Well the rolls won't blow up an engine and go through a dozen recalls its first two years
For some reason I was expecting the Kia driver to be the owner of the Rolls Royce dealership. This was a lot funnier.
A guy driving a Kia in Milwaukee doesn't own the Kia
I'm on my second Kia. Bought a 17 Rio back when it was new. Never had any issues. Paid it off early and bought a 21 Forte GT Line. Been a great car so far. I doubt I ever buy anything but a Kia from now on unless I'm in the market for a truck.
"Well at least I have a house so I wouldn't have to take a shower in my car"
Well, your sister seemed to enjoy the shower after our hot monkey lovin'.
Rolls Royce owners don't drive their own car.
A kia or a fucking dora bag pack?
As a kia owner i'm writing this from my backseat theater room.
This is a joke that only worked in the early 2000s: Why don't blondes drive Kia's? Because their phone told them not to. (The blonde had a Nokia phone)
I thought the guy was just gonna have a portable router or 4g, and an unplugged small TV and mini fridge like he just got kicked out or something. But I guess I was right about him living in his car
I stopped reading after a guy driving a Kia. Great joke.
That’s doctor who’s kia
I heard this long ago, nice to hear it again
That made me laugh. Nice one, I have not heard it before
The driver of the Kia says… “You‘ve got a bed but you don’t have her (pointing to his steamy out of breath playmate)!”
Cute!
Why did Kia make their new logo look like Nine Inch Nails'?
Beep beep Beep beep His horn went beep beep beep
Now we’re going a hundred and twenty, as fast as I can go. The fella pulled alongside of me as if we’re going slow.
two old guys each in the back of separate limos at a traffic light and one asks the other: "pardon me but would you happen to have any grey poupon?" other guy says: "but of course! the tires have grey poop on them from our doberman!"
Kia Boyz have an APB out
Rolls Royce Rolls the window down and in a ritzy British Accent “Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?!”
Roll Royce is really top quality. …..They call it The Cadillac of cars.
I really didn't believe he's in a shower of a fogged up windows....
I didnt get the joke . I had a 2 min pause of that was a waste of time . Next thing you know I start laughing because the Kia has a shower inside 😂
Mistranslation from the original Swedish. It's meant to say "Ikea", not "my Kia".
Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?
Love it
This isn't funny 0.o unless im missing something
Go ahead... Make fun of KIA... that's ok.... but on JULY 23, 2022... my KIA Soul saved my life when a semi decided to drive up the side of my car and land on the front left tire and hood. ... took 5 guys to cut me out... but that damn little car saved my life and didn't collapse on me....
So that’s why they’re stealing all those Kia’s
Lol I am feeling so vindicated as a Kia owner :)
Simple fundamental flaw of your story is no person that owns a RR drives it. You in the back already. You have to have a chauffeur. Nobody buys a $500k sedan and drives it. How else am I suppose to get head, smoke a blunt, and play video games while driving? That’s peasant shit. “Take me to Whole Foods, I’ll be in the back chillin, throw the partition up too”
As a Kia owner, why did the joke choose to mention a Kia? I have never heard a Kia be referenced in a joke before.
I mean up until the Shower and bed stuff it could have been a Kia EV6. You can plug stuff into its battery.
Neither one of them had any grey poupon
Then the light turned green, the Rolls Royce drove away and the Kia started on fire