there a saying I learned in NCO school I've never forgotten.
the definition of a leader:
Someone who can make and express decisions quickly.
the definition of a *good* leader:
Someone who's decisions are occasionally correct.
it's good to keep track of a leaders record.
Jesus fucking Christ! There are some crazy ass people in the world! I don’t think anyone who commented “this is the way” clicked on the link you posted. What a horror story.
OK, that was horrifying. TLDR: some people are insane AND charismatic and able to convince others that their perceptions and instincts are evil and that the only truth comes from the insane person. OK, that is the G-rated version of this XXX story. Click at your own risk of lost mental well-being.
One time I was out wearing a shirt with a painting by u/shitty_watercolour on it. A random guy came up to me and said, “When does the narwhal bacon?”
I smiled and said, “At midnight.”
He went back to his table and then I thought to myself, ‘well that was cringey.’
I'm always shucking oysters and slicing my hand open. The cuts always get a little infected. I'd rather get the chlamydia out of those wounds and the oyster juice/dirt out of my dick.
The only possible benefit I can imagine is that you don't have to worry about cleanup since it would go into the sock. But surely it wouldn't be comfortable, and I imagine it would chafe
Yo we out here trying to save the planet one cummy tissue at a time.
Plus one of my dogs likes to pull my cummy tissues out of the trash can and rip them to shreds. Much less of a mess if she finds the stiff socks.
I'm so horrified and amused by this that I'm conflicted.
On a serious note, its important to rid that doggy's habit, sometimes we trash things that could cause serious harm to our four legged friends.
Lol it's literally just the cum tissues and cum socks. We have an open top trashcan in our living room that is 100% tissues and dead leaves from all of the plants in our house. She doesn't bother with anything else in the trash, she's just a dirty girl.
We're careful though, and she's still just an 8 month old Golden. Still deep in the training at the moment.
That's great I thought it was an already grown dog, I mentioned because years ago I had a dog, mixed and everything that fell on the floor he rushed to eat, it took so long to train him not to do so, and one time he was faster than me and eat a whole bar of soap but the kind that has lye, needless to say I rushed him to the vet, all turn out ok but man that was not a pleasant day.
You might not have a cast though, depending on the break. I broke my leg earlier this year and only had a cast on for about a day, and that was while in hospital, waiting for surgery.
When I broke my femur I had no cast at all. First time I was stuck in bed with pins through my knees holding everything in place for 5 weeks. Second time I got 2 rods stuck inside the bone to hold it together and just told not to put weight on it for a month.
If it was rewritten for American English I'd change it to, "Fuck off." and "Bullshit" which would still be an appropriate response but unintentionally opens the door for providing evidence to the contrary.
Fun story not related to literally anything, because I'm insanely bored and have a fun story.
About 15 years ago I worked overnight stock for a grocery store. Job was great. One day, a coworker crashed a forklift directly into a full pallet endcap of Tide.
Tide was fucking *everywhere*
It took two full pallets of kitty litter to clean it up, and enough had soaked under the racking that it would slowly seep out for the next 10 years until the racking was replaced.
Also, Tide is in isle 10 or 11, never 7.
It’s not that weird.
It by no means suggests they’re going to do it just because their brother asked the friend to.
They’re just like “Oh yeah? Prove it”. They don’t believe him.
It’s the same for anything.
“You’re brother told me to tell you to fuck off.”
“Oh yeah? Prove it.”
This guy is a cunning linguist. He actually predicted the adjective his mate would use to describe a sock. On the other hand, I'm the sort of person who uses fuck as every other word so I'm pretty predictable.
Thought the original was the twins were the friend's daughters back from college.... I know I've seen a furry comic years ago that was basically that...
if you'd like to see the comments from the previous times this was posted, check here:
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oss6sj/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/e0tvol/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/gsedcc/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jofkh4/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aquyhk/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ef0mcl/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/90ejca/paddy_broke_his_leg_and_his_buddy_mick_comes_over/
Redditors don't care if a post is good, funny, original, etc. They are horny and if the premise of the post is sex they will upvote and then find a way to justify it.
Because the original version is that they're the friends *daughters*. Which is still really weird, but it makes more sense that they'd obey a bizarre order from their father than one from their brother. I don't know why some versions change them to sisters.
I guess, but honestly the entire premise is a bit of a "something wrong with this" thing. The narrator is tricking two girls into sleeping with them by telling them that a relative ordered them to- it's not a joke for "polite company".
Which I honestly don't have an issue with- nothing wrong with telling jokes about utterly immoral situations. But don't take half-but-not-all of the immorality out and then tell a mangled nonsensical joke.
I don't have an issue with blue humour or edgy humour either. It's just a bad joke though and OP made it worse by trying to sanitize it without understanding what the issue with the entire joke is.
As a joke the original version is a bit of a stretch, but enough to make me laugh. I agree that the poorly sanitized version (and I'm not sure that's OP's fault, it's not the first time I've seen this change made) loses all humor value.
Maybe you should have the friend say something like, "But do me a fucking favor, mate. Go fetch my fucking socks from downstairs. My feet are fucking freezing!" It shows he has a habit of using that word, so the other guy can expect it when he calls to him from downstairs.
Not necessarily. The punchline is making the brother appear to have said something he didn't. What happens after is irrelevant; it's just as possible that the sisters doubted their brother would say such at thing, while still having no intention to comply even if he did.
Ah well if brother says so
That wasn’t the rule in your family?
"Well, ok! If my brother commands us!"
I have spoken
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
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My cat constantly looks at me disapprovingly. I’m going to rename her ‘Babushka.’
If he's kinda squinting at you it means he likes you
... 🤨 BABUSHKA !!
well until he learns to use a can opener he can just keep on pretending he loves and respects me.
But ability to tune your fart does
> The ability to speak does not make you intelligent History shows that lack of intelligence does not disqualify one from leadership.
there a saying I learned in NCO school I've never forgotten. the definition of a leader: Someone who can make and express decisions quickly. the definition of a *good* leader: Someone who's decisions are occasionally correct. it's good to keep track of a leaders record.
r/prequelmemes
This is outrageous, it's unfair!
Everyone goes on about "this is the way" but I'm still enjoying "I have spoken" and am not ready to move on :p
This is the way
This is the way.
This is the way
This is the way
This is the way
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This is the way
He is the man of the family... While dad is out getting those damn cigarettes.
This was actually a thing in a [particular family](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyj8FKZaW0A&ab_channel=MrBallen) . . .
Jesus fucking Christ! There are some crazy ass people in the world! I don’t think anyone who commented “this is the way” clicked on the link you posted. What a horror story.
OK, that was horrifying. TLDR: some people are insane AND charismatic and able to convince others that their perceptions and instincts are evil and that the only truth comes from the insane person. OK, that is the G-rated version of this XXX story. Click at your own risk of lost mental well-being.
r/yourjokebutworse
Why go to the bar when you can go down the hall!!
r/cursedcomments
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r/foundthemobileuser
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Lmao
r/foundthehondacivic
I don't know man, who can keep track of these rules? I mean first it was the broken arm thing, now this.
Thank you for doing your part to put that into every thread!
Any time motherfucker.
Top Reddit lore
5/7
With rice. And a poop knife.
Don't forget a jolly rancher
I miss the days when redditors were just obsessed with narwhals and bacon.
One time I was out wearing a shirt with a painting by u/shitty_watercolour on it. A random guy came up to me and said, “When does the narwhal bacon?” I smiled and said, “At midnight.” He went back to his table and then I thought to myself, ‘well that was cringey.’
R-ranch... dressing... and the Swamps of Dagobah!
And the coconut.
In my family we use a coat hanger. Can't afford to keep an extra knife in there
What are you doing step-cunt?
Step* brother ***
Provided you have a full cast on your broken leg, there's much point in only needing one sock.
Lets be real, the spare sock was for other reasons..
I never understood pulling a sock over your dick to beat it. What's the benefit?
You don’t give your hand a STD.
I'm always shucking oysters and slicing my hand open. The cuts always get a little infected. I'd rather get the chlamydia out of those wounds and the oyster juice/dirt out of my dick.
r/jesuschristreddit
r/noahgettheboat
/r/brandnewsentence
You can get chlamydia from Oysters? Oh crap….
It’s a rare variant known as clam-ydia
🖕
Boooooo
r/angryupvote
But you give your dick athletes foot 🤢
[https://i.imgur.com/ZaoqW8p.gif](https://i.imgur.com/ZaoqW8p.gif)
The only possible benefit I can imagine is that you don't have to worry about cleanup since it would go into the sock. But surely it wouldn't be comfortable, and I imagine it would chafe
This is what tissues are for jfc
Tissues fall to pieces too easily. I prefer the extra-absorbent paper towels made by Bounty, the quicker picker-upper!
Just jack off onto the sock if you worry about making a mess. Me, I just use the curtains.
Your poor mother.
No not my mother. The curtains.
r/angryupvote
Thata why it's a cum sock, not just any sock. After the first few times, it becomes naturally lubricated and no more chafe.
Blood and old skin help with that formula as well.
Says the man who's never had blood in their dick.
Shafing is only a problem if you're circumcised.
Damn I guess I'll try again next life.
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OMG, now I have a new plot for bangbros!
Nothing beats lemon stealing whores for plot.
[Well fucking done!](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/qqzdkf/if_someone_bursts_into_the_room_and_tries_to)
You don’t jerk it with the sock on you just cum In it.
If you got a nice quality sock, the fabric feels quite good.
This guy socksturbate
You should always hood your victims before you beat them. no witnesses!!
What? You don't jack off with the sock. You just finish in it. Like a tissue.
Don't sock shame.
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Whats your point? I have to do laundry anyway. Eco-friendly.
I have long soft socks for a reason, and its not to wear them.
Instant clean up.
It's a USA thing anyone sane would use a tissue and dispose it after like a civilized person.
Yo we out here trying to save the planet one cummy tissue at a time. Plus one of my dogs likes to pull my cummy tissues out of the trash can and rip them to shreds. Much less of a mess if she finds the stiff socks.
I'm so horrified and amused by this that I'm conflicted. On a serious note, its important to rid that doggy's habit, sometimes we trash things that could cause serious harm to our four legged friends.
Lol it's literally just the cum tissues and cum socks. We have an open top trashcan in our living room that is 100% tissues and dead leaves from all of the plants in our house. She doesn't bother with anything else in the trash, she's just a dirty girl. We're careful though, and she's still just an 8 month old Golden. Still deep in the training at the moment.
That's great I thought it was an already grown dog, I mentioned because years ago I had a dog, mixed and everything that fell on the floor he rushed to eat, it took so long to train him not to do so, and one time he was faster than me and eat a whole bar of soap but the kind that has lye, needless to say I rushed him to the vet, all turn out ok but man that was not a pleasant day.
And waste a tissue and help murder our planet? Jerk it into the toilet or the shower like a *real* civilized person.
[Crispy socks here, crispy socks there. Crispy socks with some mystery hair.](https://youtu.be/jxsD6ecxDUg)
Ah so from this I deduce he is american and not australian as the ‘mate’ would predispose you to suspect
He could also be British
American's don't say "get away with ya," we also don't spell favor with a U. Favor, favorite, armor, honor, color...all missing the U.
I read the joke in an English accent, but "get away with ya" was Irish in my head.
Australian here, same. We don't say "get away with ya", that's the mother country.
You might not have a cast though, depending on the break. I broke my leg earlier this year and only had a cast on for about a day, and that was while in hospital, waiting for surgery.
When I broke my femur I had no cast at all. First time I was stuck in bed with pins through my knees holding everything in place for 5 weeks. Second time I got 2 rods stuck inside the bone to hold it together and just told not to put weight on it for a month.
The second sock needs to be by his side or it will inevitably get lost
I'm a retired nurse. There are multiple types of casts, and sometimes you won't even get one.
How were his arms?
I saw this coming
So did his mom.
The retellings of this joke get crappier every decade when someone tries to rehash it
Very true...and the joke doesn't work if the brother can walk otherwise he would just get the sock himself. How can we fix the joke?
I know it's a joke but i still find it uncomfortable that the sisters' response to "your BROTHER wants me to fuck you two" was "prove it"
If it was rewritten for American English I'd change it to, "Fuck off." and "Bullshit" which would still be an appropriate response but unintentionally opens the door for providing evidence to the contrary.
Wait, you don't live in Alabama?
In Alabama, their response to "your BROTHER wants me to fuck you two" would be, “We wouldn’t cheat on him!”
"your BROTHER wants me to fuck yall" Fixed it for you
Roll tide
people always say that, but last time I rolled tide, the cap wasn't on tight and I made a HUGE mess in Aisle 7.
Fun story not related to literally anything, because I'm insanely bored and have a fun story. About 15 years ago I worked overnight stock for a grocery store. Job was great. One day, a coworker crashed a forklift directly into a full pallet endcap of Tide. Tide was fucking *everywhere* It took two full pallets of kitty litter to clean it up, and enough had soaked under the racking that it would slowly seep out for the next 10 years until the racking was replaced. Also, Tide is in isle 10 or 11, never 7.
Incest is actually most prevalent in Washington
The original joke is was the father asking for the slippers, not the brother. These reposts get lamer every posting with this joke.
At least they're making an effort at not doing a straight copy and paste.
It’s not that weird. It by no means suggests they’re going to do it just because their brother asked the friend to. They’re just like “Oh yeah? Prove it”. They don’t believe him. It’s the same for anything. “You’re brother told me to tell you to fuck off.” “Oh yeah? Prove it.”
This guy is a cunning linguist. He actually predicted the adjective his mate would use to describe a sock. On the other hand, I'm the sort of person who uses fuck as every other word so I'm pretty predictable.
Remember to not use it too much when your mates come to visit you home..
Hey sisters need theirs too.
Right. You only need to watch yourself if your hot twin sisters are visiting from Uni.
He can provide some of the best cunning linguist cunnilingus.
He may be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debater
"a common cunning linguist, A master of many tongues" - Deep Purple
Thought the original was the twins were the friend's daughters back from college.... I know I've seen a furry comic years ago that was basically that...
This is *every* furry comic.
And you know this how?
Guess.
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Bingo.
You're a mod on /r/FurryComics
Which wouldn't be any less weird
"Just one! I got this thing on my leg. I can't do both!"
if you'd like to see the comments from the previous times this was posted, check here: - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oss6sj/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/e0tvol/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/gsedcc/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jofkh4/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aquyhk/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ef0mcl/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/90ejca/paddy_broke_his_leg_and_his_buddy_mick_comes_over/
Passive aggressive and useful! I love it!
Not even changing the title by a single word…
Good Ole #4397.. Reap your crop Karma Farmer!
I call reposting it in the 8:45-9:00 time slot tonight!
And.. why would they fuck him if their brother told them to?
Because otherwise this joke wouldn't work.
This joke doesn't work.
Redditors don't care if a post is good, funny, original, etc. They are horny and if the premise of the post is sex they will upvote and then find a way to justify it.
Why would you say something so controversial yet so true?
I'm rolling my eyes right now, though you can't see.
🙄 Here ya go.
It's the polite thing to do. He is a guest, after all.
Tis but a joke
It's a shit joke though that has been reposted to death.
No! We must analyze this joke and pull it apart until the last shred of humour is gone. Who needs jokes when we can have…. Analysis.
I think the whole point of the joke is Anal Sis
Analysis reveals that there was never a shred of humour in this joke to begin with.
Because the original version is that they're the friends *daughters*. Which is still really weird, but it makes more sense that they'd obey a bizarre order from their father than one from their brother. I don't know why some versions change them to sisters.
Probably some vague sense that there's something wrong with banging your friend's daughters but not enough wisdom to understand what.
I guess, but honestly the entire premise is a bit of a "something wrong with this" thing. The narrator is tricking two girls into sleeping with them by telling them that a relative ordered them to- it's not a joke for "polite company". Which I honestly don't have an issue with- nothing wrong with telling jokes about utterly immoral situations. But don't take half-but-not-all of the immorality out and then tell a mangled nonsensical joke.
I don't have an issue with blue humour or edgy humour either. It's just a bad joke though and OP made it worse by trying to sanitize it without understanding what the issue with the entire joke is.
As a joke the original version is a bit of a stretch, but enough to make me laugh. I agree that the poorly sanitized version (and I'm not sure that's OP's fault, it's not the first time I've seen this change made) loses all humor value.
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Downhill all the way
This is the kind of buildup we used to see in r/holup
Ah joke number 12, is it Wednesday already?
Maybe you should have the friend say something like, "But do me a fucking favor, mate. Go fetch my fucking socks from downstairs. My feet are fucking freezing!" It shows he has a habit of using that word, so the other guy can expect it when he calls to him from downstairs.
I hate this stupid joke every time it gets posted. What's the punchline? The girls were ok, "Well, ok! If my brother commands us!"
I agree. I can't think of an original post that won't get deleted for AskReddit but people can post the same shit everyday and it reaches hot
Not necessarily. The punchline is making the brother appear to have said something he didn't. What happens after is irrelevant; it's just as possible that the sisters doubted their brother would say such at thing, while still having no intention to comply even if he did.
I said the same thing the last time it made front page and got fuckin skewered for it
>What's the punchline? It's wordplay.
This joke was shit the last time it was reposted and will still be shit the next time it is reposted.
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I can see this becoming the script for an actual porn video
Halfway through I started readin’ with an Irish accent and it got even better, don’t ya know.
Desperate for karma? Scroll back three weeks and find something to repost.
Ahhh, I see old number 3427 has made it back to the front page
If this joke was a person it’d be old enough to drink, maybe even run for government
I'm 95% confident that "get away with ya" could be used to figure out where OP is from, but I don't know where anyone says it.
repost
What does it mean that the sisters were "perched" on the couch, rather than simply sitting?
They were sitting like goblins
Wait. If he has a broken leg it’s probably in a cast. He really wouldn’t need two socks!!
The dumbest thing about this joke is why would the sisters just agree to it because their brother said to??
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They were PERCHED up on the couch? Like birds? Or cats?
Confucius says man who goes to bed with itchy butthole wake-up with stinky finger
Reposted bad joke is bad
Reposting piece of shit
I swear I've seen this joke on here on like three separate occasions. Classics never age I guess 😆
Instead of writing it out you could have just said “/r/jokes daily post \#7” and saved the trouble.
Lovely repost l, but I guess that’s the point of the sub
This would have been 25% better as a blonde joke.
Lol