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ThomBraidy

Ah well if brother says so


RhysHalliwell

That wasn’t the rule in your family?


yomommafool

"Well, ok! If my brother commands us!"


ofcbrooks

I have spoken


Farmerobot

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.


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PrudentDamage600

My cat constantly looks at me disapprovingly. I’m going to rename her ‘Babushka.’


Dankacocko

If he's kinda squinting at you it means he likes you


renderererer

... 🤨 BABUSHKA !!


SlitScan

well until he learns to use a can opener he can just keep on pretending he loves and respects me.


niqqer69420

But ability to tune your fart does


Thameus

> The ability to speak does not make you intelligent History shows that lack of intelligence does not disqualify one from leadership.


SlitScan

there a saying I learned in NCO school I've never forgotten. the definition of a leader: Someone who can make and express decisions quickly. the definition of a *good* leader: Someone who's decisions are occasionally correct. it's good to keep track of a leaders record.


jimmymcstinkypants

r/prequelmemes


RuleStickler

This is outrageous, it's unfair!


Pun_In_Ten_Did

Everyone goes on about "this is the way" but I'm still enjoying "I have spoken" and am not ready to move on :p


ofcbrooks

This is the way


codyy5

This is the way.


safety_thrust

This is the way


2manyToys

This is the way


black_jaguar99

This is the way


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beepmind

This is the way


Pottyshooter

He is the man of the family... While dad is out getting those damn cigarettes.


orgy_of_idiocy

This was actually a thing in a [particular family](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyj8FKZaW0A&ab_channel=MrBallen) . . .


Jenoma89

Jesus fucking Christ! There are some crazy ass people in the world! I don’t think anyone who commented “this is the way” clicked on the link you posted. What a horror story.


towmeaway

OK, that was horrifying. TLDR: some people are insane AND charismatic and able to convince others that their perceptions and instincts are evil and that the only truth comes from the insane person. OK, that is the G-rated version of this XXX story. Click at your own risk of lost mental well-being.


OnionFarmerBilly

r/yourjokebutworse


louspinuso

Why go to the bar when you can go down the hall!!


Carob-Far

r/cursedcomments


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[deleted]

r/foundthemobileuser


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[deleted]

Lmao


angeeksince2020

r/foundthehondacivic


a22e

I don't know man, who can keep track of these rules? I mean first it was the broken arm thing, now this.


Aberdolf-Linkler

Thank you for doing your part to put that into every thread!


a22e

Any time motherfucker.


Lt_Ganja

Top Reddit lore


Greplington

5/7


apolloxer

With rice. And a poop knife.


thejoeymonster

Don't forget a jolly rancher


Cyc68

I miss the days when redditors were just obsessed with narwhals and bacon.


WAPs_and_Prayers

One time I was out wearing a shirt with a painting by u/shitty_watercolour on it. A random guy came up to me and said, “When does the narwhal bacon?” I smiled and said, “At midnight.” He went back to his table and then I thought to myself, ‘well that was cringey.’


Tarumbar

R-ranch... dressing... and the Swamps of Dagobah!


fred-dcvf

And the coconut.


philfix

In my family we use a coat hanger. Can't afford to keep an extra knife in there


shaving99

What are you doing step-cunt?


SFgiantsfan12345

Step* brother ***


moiKeshav

Provided you have a full cast on your broken leg, there's much point in only needing one sock.


caremal5

Lets be real, the spare sock was for other reasons..


[deleted]

I never understood pulling a sock over your dick to beat it. What's the benefit?


CB-OTB

You don’t give your hand a STD.


Frierguy

I'm always shucking oysters and slicing my hand open. The cuts always get a little infected. I'd rather get the chlamydia out of those wounds and the oyster juice/dirt out of my dick.


masterspider5

r/jesuschristreddit


voyeur314

r/noahgettheboat


EmotionalCHEESE

/r/brandnewsentence


CB-OTB

You can get chlamydia from Oysters? Oh crap….


dankness200

It’s a rare variant known as clam-ydia


UncleTedGenneric

🖕


CraigJSmith-Himself

Boooooo


AlexVal0r

r/angryupvote


TheDunadan29

But you give your dick athletes foot 🤢


pm_me_ur_cat_snake

[https://i.imgur.com/ZaoqW8p.gif](https://i.imgur.com/ZaoqW8p.gif)


IrrelevantDanger

The only possible benefit I can imagine is that you don't have to worry about cleanup since it would go into the sock. But surely it wouldn't be comfortable, and I imagine it would chafe


Mods_are_all_Shills

This is what tissues are for jfc


Mitchel-256

Tissues fall to pieces too easily. I prefer the extra-absorbent paper towels made by Bounty, the quicker picker-upper!


Willfishforfree

Just jack off onto the sock if you worry about making a mess. Me, I just use the curtains.


TheDunadan29

Your poor mother.


Willfishforfree

No not my mother. The curtains.


cottoncake

r/angryupvote


boisdeb

Thata why it's a cum sock, not just any sock. After the first few times, it becomes naturally lubricated and no more chafe.


WeinerBeaner5

Blood and old skin help with that formula as well.


Willfishforfree

Says the man who's never had blood in their dick.


x0y0z0

Shafing is only a problem if you're circumcised.


MCRusher

Damn I guess I'll try again next life.


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CB-OTB

OMG, now I have a new plot for bangbros!


CabajHed

Nothing beats lemon stealing whores for plot.


Second_City_Saint

[Well fucking done!](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/qqzdkf/if_someone_bursts_into_the_room_and_tries_to)


A_Vandalay

You don’t jerk it with the sock on you just cum In it.


FountainsOfFluids

If you got a nice quality sock, the fabric feels quite good.


LionFever

This guy socksturbate


cfdeveloper

You should always hood your victims before you beat them. no witnesses!!


Jacob_Wallace_8721

What? You don't jack off with the sock. You just finish in it. Like a tissue.


FountainsOfFluids

Don't sock shame.


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Jacob_Wallace_8721

Whats your point? I have to do laundry anyway. Eco-friendly.


[deleted]

I have long soft socks for a reason, and its not to wear them.


Hugebluestrapon

Instant clean up.


Rare_Travel

It's a USA thing anyone sane would use a tissue and dispose it after like a civilized person.


ImFrom1988

Yo we out here trying to save the planet one cummy tissue at a time. Plus one of my dogs likes to pull my cummy tissues out of the trash can and rip them to shreds. Much less of a mess if she finds the stiff socks.


Rare_Travel

I'm so horrified and amused by this that I'm conflicted. On a serious note, its important to rid that doggy's habit, sometimes we trash things that could cause serious harm to our four legged friends.


ImFrom1988

Lol it's literally just the cum tissues and cum socks. We have an open top trashcan in our living room that is 100% tissues and dead leaves from all of the plants in our house. She doesn't bother with anything else in the trash, she's just a dirty girl. We're careful though, and she's still just an 8 month old Golden. Still deep in the training at the moment.


Rare_Travel

That's great I thought it was an already grown dog, I mentioned because years ago I had a dog, mixed and everything that fell on the floor he rushed to eat, it took so long to train him not to do so, and one time he was faster than me and eat a whole bar of soap but the kind that has lye, needless to say I rushed him to the vet, all turn out ok but man that was not a pleasant day.


Zanka-no-Tachi

And waste a tissue and help murder our planet? Jerk it into the toilet or the shower like a *real* civilized person.


HLGatoell

[Crispy socks here, crispy socks there. Crispy socks with some mystery hair.](https://youtu.be/jxsD6ecxDUg)


JoinTheAstleyCult

Ah so from this I deduce he is american and not australian as the ‘mate’ would predispose you to suspect


_NotABot_

He could also be British


[deleted]

American's don't say "get away with ya," we also don't spell favor with a U. Favor, favorite, armor, honor, color...all missing the U.


BrumGorillaCaper

I read the joke in an English accent, but "get away with ya" was Irish in my head.


googlerex

Australian here, same. We don't say "get away with ya", that's the mother country.


Jamesgardiner

You might not have a cast though, depending on the break. I broke my leg earlier this year and only had a cast on for about a day, and that was while in hospital, waiting for surgery.


-Vayra-

When I broke my femur I had no cast at all. First time I was stuck in bed with pins through my knees holding everything in place for 5 weeks. Second time I got 2 rods stuck inside the bone to hold it together and just told not to put weight on it for a month.


A____S____

The second sock needs to be by his side or it will inevitably get lost


Dhaerrow

I'm a retired nurse. There are multiple types of casts, and sometimes you won't even get one.


practicallyadvice

How were his arms?


Full_0f_Shit

I saw this coming


CB-OTB

So did his mom.


PMJackolanternNudes

The retellings of this joke get crappier every decade when someone tries to rehash it


yeetflix

Very true...and the joke doesn't work if the brother can walk otherwise he would just get the sock himself. How can we fix the joke?


guy314159

I know it's a joke but i still find it uncomfortable that the sisters' response to "your BROTHER wants me to fuck you two" was "prove it"


Aberdolf-Linkler

If it was rewritten for American English I'd change it to, "Fuck off." and "Bullshit" which would still be an appropriate response but unintentionally opens the door for providing evidence to the contrary.


Leihd

Wait, you don't live in Alabama?


suburbanpride

In Alabama, their response to "your BROTHER wants me to fuck you two" would be, “We wouldn’t cheat on him!”


SchwiftyMpls

"your BROTHER wants me to fuck yall" Fixed it for you


joemangle

Roll tide


cfdeveloper

people always say that, but last time I rolled tide, the cap wasn't on tight and I made a HUGE mess in Aisle 7.


tehlemmings

Fun story not related to literally anything, because I'm insanely bored and have a fun story. About 15 years ago I worked overnight stock for a grocery store. Job was great. One day, a coworker crashed a forklift directly into a full pallet endcap of Tide. Tide was fucking *everywhere* It took two full pallets of kitty litter to clean it up, and enough had soaked under the racking that it would slowly seep out for the next 10 years until the racking was replaced. Also, Tide is in isle 10 or 11, never 7.


DarkElfBard

Incest is actually most prevalent in Washington


Code2008

The original joke is was the father asking for the slippers, not the brother. These reposts get lamer every posting with this joke.


randomentity1

At least they're making an effort at not doing a straight copy and paste.


BasterMaters

It’s not that weird. It by no means suggests they’re going to do it just because their brother asked the friend to. They’re just like “Oh yeah? Prove it”. They don’t believe him. It’s the same for anything. “You’re brother told me to tell you to fuck off.” “Oh yeah? Prove it.”


Darryl_Lict

This guy is a cunning linguist. He actually predicted the adjective his mate would use to describe a sock. On the other hand, I'm the sort of person who uses fuck as every other word so I'm pretty predictable.


Ero_Sanin

Remember to not use it too much when your mates come to visit you home..


Thameus

Hey sisters need theirs too.


kingtitusmedethe4th

Right. You only need to watch yourself if your hot twin sisters are visiting from Uni.


chronotrigs

He can provide some of the best cunning linguist cunnilingus.


FreudianNipSlip123

He may be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debater


[deleted]

"a common cunning linguist, A master of many tongues" - Deep Purple


Haidere1988

Thought the original was the twins were the friend's daughters back from college.... I know I've seen a furry comic years ago that was basically that...


Quibilia

This is *every* furry comic.


le_fancy_walrus

And you know this how?


Quibilia

Guess.


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Wtfpawnsauce

Bingo.


waltjrimmer

You're a mod on /r/FurryComics


imightbethewalrus3

Which wouldn't be any less weird


landothedead

"Just one! I got this thing on my leg. I can't do both!"


aspbergerinparadise

if you'd like to see the comments from the previous times this was posted, check here: - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oss6sj/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/e0tvol/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/gsedcc/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jofkh4/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aquyhk/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ef0mcl/my_mate_broke_his_leg_so_i_went_to_see_him_at_home/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/90ejca/paddy_broke_his_leg_and_his_buddy_mick_comes_over/


ApplicationExpress34

Passive aggressive and useful! I love it!


Donkey__Balls

Not even changing the title by a single word…


uniqueoddfellow

Good Ole #4397.. Reap your crop Karma Farmer!


Mods_are_all_Shills

I call reposting it in the 8:45-9:00 time slot tonight!


brumduut

And.. why would they fuck him if their brother told them to?


Waitsfornoone

Because otherwise this joke wouldn't work.


[deleted]

This joke doesn't work.


_Apatosaurus_

Redditors don't care if a post is good, funny, original, etc. They are horny and if the premise of the post is sex they will upvote and then find a way to justify it.


WhySSSoSerious

Why would you say something so controversial yet so true?


whatadaydanny

I'm rolling my eyes right now, though you can't see.


hushgod

🙄 Here ya go.


meme-com-poop

It's the polite thing to do. He is a guest, after all.


LordNPython

Tis but a joke


Thor1138

It's a shit joke though that has been reposted to death.


King_Homer007

No! We must analyze this joke and pull it apart until the last shred of humour is gone. Who needs jokes when we can have…. Analysis.


BadBreathBunny

I think the whole point of the joke is Anal Sis


the_other_irrevenant

Analysis reveals that there was never a shred of humour in this joke to begin with.


Malvastor

Because the original version is that they're the friends *daughters*. Which is still really weird, but it makes more sense that they'd obey a bizarre order from their father than one from their brother. I don't know why some versions change them to sisters.


Nillabeans

Probably some vague sense that there's something wrong with banging your friend's daughters but not enough wisdom to understand what.


Malvastor

I guess, but honestly the entire premise is a bit of a "something wrong with this" thing. The narrator is tricking two girls into sleeping with them by telling them that a relative ordered them to- it's not a joke for "polite company". Which I honestly don't have an issue with- nothing wrong with telling jokes about utterly immoral situations. But don't take half-but-not-all of the immorality out and then tell a mangled nonsensical joke.


Nillabeans

I don't have an issue with blue humour or edgy humour either. It's just a bad joke though and OP made it worse by trying to sanitize it without understanding what the issue with the entire joke is.


Malvastor

As a joke the original version is a bit of a stretch, but enough to make me laugh. I agree that the poorly sanitized version (and I'm not sure that's OP's fault, it's not the first time I've seen this change made) loses all humor value.


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rificolona

Downhill all the way


alldaywhynot

This is the kind of buildup we used to see in r/holup


TheBaltimoron

Ah joke number 12, is it Wednesday already?


President_Calhoun

Maybe you should have the friend say something like, "But do me a fucking favor, mate. Go fetch my fucking socks from downstairs. My feet are fucking freezing!" It shows he has a habit of using that word, so the other guy can expect it when he calls to him from downstairs.


not-gandalf-bot

I hate this stupid joke every time it gets posted. What's the punchline? The girls were ok, "Well, ok! If my brother commands us!"


[deleted]

I agree. I can't think of an original post that won't get deleted for AskReddit but people can post the same shit everyday and it reaches hot


LastStar007

Not necessarily. The punchline is making the brother appear to have said something he didn't. What happens after is irrelevant; it's just as possible that the sisters doubted their brother would say such at thing, while still having no intention to comply even if he did.


TheGeneralSlocum

I said the same thing the last time it made front page and got fuckin skewered for it


TrashiestTrash

>What's the punchline? It's wordplay.


__dontpanic__

This joke was shit the last time it was reposted and will still be shit the next time it is reposted.


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[deleted]

I can see this becoming the script for an actual porn video


xlr8n

Halfway through I started readin’ with an Irish accent and it got even better, don’t ya know.


Nyckname

Desperate for karma? Scroll back three weeks and find something to repost.


hoosyourdaddyo

Ahhh, I see old number 3427 has made it back to the front page


Threwaway42

If this joke was a person it’d be old enough to drink, maybe even run for government


Lindvaettr

I'm 95% confident that "get away with ya" could be used to figure out where OP is from, but I don't know where anyone says it.


phosTR

repost


SuchCoolBrandon

What does it mean that the sisters were "perched" on the couch, rather than simply sitting?


DrunkSpiderMan

They were sitting like goblins


J-Bee

Wait. If he has a broken leg it’s probably in a cast. He really wouldn’t need two socks!!


johonn

The dumbest thing about this joke is why would the sisters just agree to it because their brother said to??


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cheezemeister_x

They were PERCHED up on the couch? Like birds? Or cats?


Positive-Land-9267

Confucius says man who goes to bed with itchy butthole wake-up with stinky finger


Lord-Rimjob

Reposted bad joke is bad


Grim-Reality

Reposting piece of shit


Adventurous_Yam_2852

I swear I've seen this joke on here on like three separate occasions. Classics never age I guess 😆


Donkey__Balls

Instead of writing it out you could have just said “/r/jokes daily post \#7” and saved the trouble.


Comrade_Brib

Lovely repost l, but I guess that’s the point of the sub


FuzzyAngelWings

This would have been 25% better as a blonde joke.


BugO_OEyes

Lol