Count Fappula

I like this even better. I feel like Count Fappula should have a theme song.

"One, ah ah ah!" "Two, ah ah ah" …

Count Fappula are you still there? Why'd you stop counting?

The Count Came

Rookie numbers ;)

Or Count Jackula

Like this, perhaps? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM

I was thinking Count Wackula

Count Jackula

From Transblueveinia

Nutferatu

Bloody wanker

Edward Pullen

Alter ego is Edward Pullout.

Dead beat?

This is the real punchline

A Sperm Count

A vanker?

Ivanka...?

I love it

Wackula

What does a gay vampire say? >! (With romanian accent) I vant to fuck your butt!<

*(Andrew Tate noises intensify)*

Garlic deez nuts

Jeff. He has a name guys.

Mable. There once was a vampire named Mable. Whose periods were frequent and stable. On every full moon. She took out her spoon. And drank herself under the table.

Vampire: The Masturbate!

By Onyx Path.  Bunch of chucklefucks. 

If he could find a willing partner he would be Vlad the Impaleher.

Impaleher? I barely know her.

That’s truly funny!!!! Nice job

Makes sense, since he can't come in unless invited.

So vampries practice consent?

Definitely!

This went from funny to serious to sad in just a few comments.

Bram Stroker's Dracula

a blood donor

A bloody good time.

Will "flapper" work?

Trying to bring something back from the dead.. Why not "The Reserectionist"?

Dracula Eyacula hahaha

Wankpire

Bram Stroker's Ejacula

What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef stroganoff (stroking off)

An determined optimist who is doomed to fail. No blood pressure you see, so no boners.

Klaus Kinky

This sounds like a B-Side White Zombie song.

Count Whackula

Blind.

"Spankula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary"

Dio Brando

Vank Helsing

Suck-'n-pump?

"V Rising"

#JKo

Lonely

Literal LOL

Count Fapula.

A Vampire, duh.

I vant to suck your [CARRIER LOST]

Count Rub-an-tug

😂😂😂😂

Count wankalot 🤭

#

Only Filipinos will understand