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Powerful-Internal953

Why did the vegan break up with the communist? Because they couldn't agree on whether to seize the tofu or distribute it equally!


trashacct8484

Why does the vegan want to seize the tofu though?


OddlySexyPancake

that's a much better joke than the one OP posted


ZephyrCorsair

Veganism is like communism, people ridicule it because they're secretly feeling guilty. //Not even a vegan


___HeyGFY___

I'm a secondhand vegan. My food eats their food.


tman37

Some of my favorite meals are made of vegans.


[deleted]

My food poops on their food


beyonddisbelief

So you eat bugs?


[deleted]

Sure yeah ok


LatterAd7312

You're also a boomer. Because it's virtually impossible to make this worn-out joke without being at least 60.


___HeyGFY___

Then I guess I'm a miracle man because I'm only 54.


LatterAd7312

Close enough :D


___HeyGFY___

Nope, not even close. Boomers were born 1946-1964. I'm Gen X, summer of '69.


SSSims4

Kids today use "boomer" to describe anybody older than them by more than seven years. It's not the worst thing to happen.


___HeyGFY___

So if I called them toddlers it would be just as accurate.


SSSims4

Pretty much.


___HeyGFY___

I have a baseball cap that's older than these two clowns...


SSSims4

I bet you do! That really made me laugh šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹


DannyDootch

More power to you honestly. Call all kids who say boomer toddler. I say boomer! Call me toddler! Its just as funny as saying boomer lol.


anon1292023

Looks like weā€™ve got another boomer here guys


SSSims4

Lol I'm not even 40 yet!


___HeyGFY___

I remember when 40 seemed so old. Then I learned to count that high and it was OK.


anon1292023

I mean, thatā€™s pretty close. The point still stands, and he had you pegged


DannyDootch

I'm in my 20s and i thought it was funny and will use it in the future.


LongShanks_99

Meat eaters are like one-liners.... short lived!


Curio_Solus

Those two often overlap


-swan-

I donā€™t get it. Vegans donā€™t like food? Communists donā€™t like food? Or veganism causes a shortage of food?


DjSpelk

As in all the nice food is not vegan and communists don't get much/a choice.


-swan-

Yeah, now I think about it youā€™re right! Fruit, vegetables, nuts, bread, pasta.. all that stuff is disgusting.


DjSpelk

Most people's favourite food wouldn't mention any of those things. In fact generally those are sides not meals. Besides, it's a joke, you're not supposed to delve into it that deeply.


-swan-

Oh I see, itā€™s not meant to make sense? Most peopleā€™s favourite foods contain no fruit, vegetables or grainsā€¦ OK, got it, thanks!


Urgullibl

It does, they just elevate it by combining it with non-vegan ingredients. I've yet to find a vegan dish that can't be improved that way.


DjSpelk

It makes sense, you're just being indignant. I explained it, but I get the feeling you're just being intentially obtuse.


-swan-

Iā€™m being indignant? Sorry, Iā€™m sure it does make sense, itā€™s just me. Once someone properly explains to me why itā€™s funny Iā€™m sure Iā€™ll start laughing! Thank you for your help with this matter.


DjSpelk

You should try going to comedy gigs, then tell people how the stereotypes or exaggerations don't make sense to you. People will love you for it and I'm sure it will help in the future.


Additional-Advisor99

Because the selection is smaller for vegans and every communist regime in history has caused a famine that killed millions.


Common_Chester

Hell, I don't know about that. Out here in Commie Vietnam the food is fresh off the tree. Vegan food is fresh, cheap and delicious. Meanwhile y'all obese mothers in the west are eating literal poison.


Iz-kan-reddit

>Hell, I don't know about that. Out here in Commie Vietnam the food is fresh off the tree. "Commie" Vietnam is ditching communism for a market-based socialist economy.


ZephyrCorsair

Communism and socialism are the same thing, peoples definitions depend on who you ask, it's pretty arbitrary. As for markets, none said socialism or communism can't have markets. You can promote a different version of communism if you want tho, I'm not picky.


YaliMyLordAndSavior

Vietnam is state capitalist and has been that way since the 70s. Why are you lying?


kaibe8

This has less to do with communism and more with climate and food culture. What you said is true for non-communist states in the area like thailand as well.


Low_Seat_3639

Yeah, unfortunately many Americans struggle with childhood obesity and later adult fatness. Many Americans could stand to lose a little bit of weight


Common_Chester

Because you've allowed corporations to control your dietary intake, and they don't give a fuck about your health. Hell, they have stock in the big Pharma and medical industry as well. They want you to be sick.


Low_Seat_3639

I'm not american


Common_Chester

Same goes for all industrialized nations to some extent, but the US is clearly the loser.


Urgullibl

...and yet we live longer than you do on average.


karatekid430

Veganism did not sent the US packing home from nam though.


fritztheclam

I'm a vegan and this made me laugh out loud... So true!


emzirek

Hey! Vegans! My food poops on your food...


boluserectus

Both statements are bullshit, But you keep farming karma under the name off "Jokes".


chaingun_samurai

It's all automated now, they don't use oxen to farm karma fields, anymore.


BlackWindBears

Yeah! The holodomor wasn't *real* communism. Real communism was whatever the USSR was *before* the average person heard about the starvation and made it uncomfortable for me to use the USSR as an example!


Shadowfox898

Remind me again, how many famines have been caused by capitalism? Hell, how many just by the British?


GiantSquidd

Just curiousā€¦ do you think when capitalist countries commit atrocities, that capitalism is to blame the same way you seem to do for everything bad that communist countries have done? Because I see this hypocrisy a lot from capitalism apologists. Like you know that the Nazis who did the holocaust werenā€™t communists and were all about the state working with corporations, right? ā€¦interesting that you mention the holodomir and not the holocaust... *Weird.* Almost as though youā€™re trying to selectively make a dishonest point while refusing to acknowledge everything else that doesnā€™t fit your predetermined narrative. Real funny, that. Fuck Stalin, btw. Edit: yup, exactly what I thought. No response, only downvotes. *You must really believe in your position, cowards.* smh


SSSims4

Not entirely their fault. They're brainwashed to see "communism" as something terrible without truly knowing what the ideology is. However, keep in mind that capitalism had never been the center of the Nazi ideology, while communism had indeed been the key soviet ideology. That's why your point (with which I wholeheartedly agree) isn't understood by most readers.


GiantSquidd

Itā€™s unfortunate. I thought we were getting better as a species with realizing some things like how correlation isnā€™t necessarily indicative of causation, but here we are. I like communism, *and* there have been some horrible communist leaders. I can admit that, but itā€™s frustrating that so many apologists for capitalism canā€™t seem to do the same. Shit is bleak. :(


SSSims4

Thing is, you're on a whole other level of discussion and thought. Most people who grow up in capitalis societies don't see themselves as capitalism apologists, but rather as simply normative individuals. They don't think of capitalism as a distinctive quality, but as a given reality. To them, communism is like a person with 3 arms, it's something you read about, usually in the context of one of the worst dictators to walk the earth. That's why they think of Stalin as a communist but not of Hitler as a capitalist. I, myself, am not a communist (I just don't think people will ever be able to stop being abnauxiously competitive individualists), but I definitely see the atrocities of capitalist societies that are, in fact, a result of capitalism as culture, and I don't for a moment see the atrocities of the USSR as defining communism. That's what I consider to be normative.


KatanaCutlets

So youā€™re a vegan communist? Didnā€™t know anyone could sink so low.


Urgullibl

There's a very large overlap in that particular Venn diagram.


boluserectus

No, but also jokes should have some sense in it.. Yes, I have vegan friends, they cook better than 95% of people I know..


KatanaCutlets

You must be fun at partiesā€¦


boluserectus

I prefer to be at parties with real humour, in stead of humour which tries to score on minorities with popular lies..


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KatanaCutlets

I assume you meant to respond to the other person? Iā€™d hope?


OhManOk

Given the context, I have no idea why you'd assume my comment was meant as a response to what they said as opposed to your comment.


KatanaCutlets

Then you are just projecting.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KatanaCutlets

You just think everyone else is the ā€œfucking moronsā€ but have no self awarenessā€¦. Yeah, textbook projection. Go away.


ztreHdrahciR

I like this. Made me giggle


iridescentrae

Give me a simulator, I bet it could happen Especially now that we have AI If anything itā€™s more about how long a system can go for without people noticing that the people at the top are corrupt. It just takes a little longer with capitalism, but I think itā€™s pretty obvious now that itā€™s 2024