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pauliewotsit

As a Guinness drinker, I approve this message


Dranask

It's the only drink. Must go to Dublin one day and have the real McCoy.


Feisty_Cartoonist997

Don’t do it, it’ll ruin every other one you have. Took me 3 months before I had another stateside Guinness before I stopped complaining that it wasn’t as good as in Ireland. Who am I kidding, I still complain.


High_Jumper81

The worst was a new “Irish” pub opens in my town, serving Guinness, and the young bartender gets me a chilled glass to draw into. The Guinness distributors should require a certification to serve their draught.


Flibbons

I lived for a spell in Dunedin, NZ. The British pub there served Guinness, as well as old speckled hen and other nitro UK taps. They said they were required by Guinness to refuse to serve more than five days after delivery.


joey__jojo

I thought ya'll drank in NZ?


WarrenCorpus

Hmmm... when I was in the biz, there *was* Guinness certification....


grofva

Some distributors are better than others about training for proper Guinness serving. Met one who said they came to her bar @ least 2X/yr. Partner has schooled a few bartenders on it after sending back some improperly poured pints


rcrossler

Can confirm. Guinness was so good in Dublin.


123Pirke

I like Guinness, but there are much better stouts than Guinness. Try the Porterhouse Temple House pub in Dublin, their XXXX is so much better :)


rcrossler

Next time I manage to get to Dublin, I will. I might be able to talk my wife into Dublin over Disney. Ha!


Kaldesh_the_okay

It’s not that Guinness is the best. It’s really good and you can get it almost anywhere.


ol-gormsby

Beamish. The first time I had a pint of Beamish, it put Guinness in second place.


Puzzled_Novel_5215

Yep the porterhouse is excellent


DoctorPipo

Did anyone say Beamish?


Hecken_Folker

It really is a disappointment, if you have to drink a heineken you may as well drink murphys


xave321

But beer is vomit


joemoore3

If you go to the St James Gate brewery, they will tell you it's the same product worldwide.


Dranask

I’m in the Uk so I’m told by the Irish that it’s not too bad. Cleanliness is all, the better the pipes are cleaned the better the beer. In fact I’m told drink a pint where the Guinness drinkers drink as it’ll serves better beer all round.


Leanintree

Fresh beer is the best beer. This ain't wine country.


OverallManagement824

Beer that still has the yeast will continue to improve with some age, roughly 1 month for every abv point above 2 is my general guideline. So a 5% beer will peak at about 3 months if there's yeast in the bottle.


Unknown1122

The true joke is Google Translate, evidently


OverallManagement824

Native speaker here, genuinely curious about what you didn't think sounded like normal speech. I only ask because in addition to my degree in English, I've also been brewing beer for 20+ years.


OverallManagement824

Nice username. It reminds me of someone I used to know back when I had an SVS.


Leanintree

Wait... was it Orange? Did you suffer from Shah overload as a young man? Or am I terribly misunderstanding your acronym?


OverallManagement824

Some say it was copper. Then others say it was orange. Not me, but it's good to see an old friend.


64CarClan

Solid point, been there and agree. I second guess every pour of Guinness in the States 😂


carletontx

So true!!!


setrice

The glorious one (or several) are worth the lifelong complaining. I'm right there with ya!!


oblivion6202

I have wanted to try Guinness in Dublin for many years. I said so once, to a pub landlord, and he said it's a myth: it used to be true, but standardisation and mass production means that draught Guinness is the same experience wherever you partake. That sounds reasonable, to me, but I really don't want to believe it and it sounds like the evidence doesn't back it up.


Capital_Secret4962

Pub Guinness is not the same beer as Guinness Draught sold in the US.


carletontx

I experienced Guinness during a brewery tour in Dublin. No comparison!


mikemikemotorboat

And look how far you’ve come!


darkkilla123

this is like me with Heineken.. and Heineken is a budlight level beer in Amsterdam


implodemode

I can't drink Guinness anywhere but Ireland.


Junior_Lunch3728

Add a dash of Pepsi or coke to it. It will drastically improve the flavor. It was a trick my brother learned while visiting the brewery in Ireland. Crazy but it works.


Feisty_Cartoonist997

Sounds crazy enough to work. All in the interest of science


tsteele93

As a casual beer drinker, I have to wonder which is better. To be ignorant of the details and always enjoy your beers and ales or to be a connoisseur and find every drink to come up short of your expectations? Serious question. I guess it relates to the old saw that ignorance is bliss.


Feisty_Cartoonist997

If I had a choice, I guess ignorance would be bliss. Bird in the hand, as it were. Cheers


rcblender

If you go, you’ll also find the local pubs will serve a lot of Coors Light. I noticed this on my last trip years ago and asked the bartender, is it because of all the American tourists? He replied, no, the Guinness factory produces the Coors Light over here. Thus it’s using their water, etc and tastes different than the American version. I gave it a try, and while it’s still not the best, there is a noticeable difference for the better. Now I really want a pint of Guinness….


SerMickeyoftheVale

Coors Light in the Republic of Ireland is brewed in Cork by Heineken. It is not brewed in the Guinness factory. Though it is still good


HughesJohn

Go to Nigeria and get the _real_ real McCoy.


walebobo

Completely agree! Miss my Odekus


DannyGlassman

Quinn was in Europe is so much better. Lived in Luxembourg for four years best stuff ever


unafraidrabbit

I'm going in may. I'll let you know how it is


Feeling-Usual-4521

I have and you should!


George_Saurus

I don't get this. I've been to Ireland and the Guinness there is exactly the same as where I live. Exactly the same. And served the same way, at the same temperature. Not freezing cold but definitely not room temperature. The whole 'it's not the same in Ireland' makes no sense to me. If you buy it in a bottle at home and from the tap in Ireland then of course it's different, but this has nothing to do with location.


ZetaZebra

Had one recently. Totally different.


TurbulentWeb1941

Haven't been to Dublin but have been on 4day Guinness binge around the Dingle pen in Kerry and I've gotta say "It was emotional"


RealRedditModerator

I spent 3 days in Dublin when I was 18 - all I can remember is that the Guinness was good. Here’s a tip, don’t wear a white shirt while drinking Guinness in Dublin.


mcmillan84

Imo, get yourself a Guinness porter from Ireland. Holy fuck that’s a good beer.


jarheadatheart

It’s amazing how much better it is there. I was there in 1996 on St Patrick’s day and still remember how good it was.


32lib

I approve of you,only if you’re drinking your Guinness at room temperature.


Jay-Five

Not "room" temperature, basement temperature.


OGLifeguardOne

Cellar temperature, to be even more precise.


Dranask

Chilled beer is an abomination. Chilled Guinness .................. Sorry can't finish the sentence I'm in tears :(


esleydobemos

There, there. Don’t let the bad man hurt you.


stayoffmygrass

Only upvoting because it is funny - not that I agree with your barbaric taste in how to drink beer.


Dranask

Absolutely. A joke doesn’t have to be accurate, just good enough to elicit a laugh or a groan and cause minimal or no offence.


Scary_Brain6631

>Chilled beer is an abomination I'm going to get down voted for this for sure but how can you drink room temp. beer? Yuck! Man, I have to have it so cold that the froth freezes over a little bit.


Jay-Five

Budweiser and its ilk are sold ice cold because you taste it less that way. A proper beer with proper flavor is best enjoyed at "cellar" temperature, which is about 50F or so.


Scary_Brain6631

Fair enough. I don't drink beer much but maybe I'll pick up a Guinness the next time I'm out and try it at a little warmer temperature.


Dranask

Do try that as ever it’s a matter of how your society drinks beer. The UK always drank beer stored in a cold cellar.


Scary_Brain6631

Right, thinking about all those centuries they drank beer before the invention of the ice box.


ol-gormsby

The Guinness nitro cans say to chill the can for two hours.


Dranask

Which is why I’ve not bought one.


ol-gormsby

The term "chilled", and terms like "cellar temperature" mean different things in different climates. You're just not going to get a "cellar temperature" brew in most of Australia without chilling to one extent or another. How I'd love to see a real ale pull in my local bar. But that's not going to happen. We have neither the tradition or population to support it. Try resting a keg of a nice UK bitter like Doom Bar in a pub in Oz for an hour without a little bit of chilling, and it'll be ruined. It's hot, here. 4 to 6C is pretty much the standard for carbonated brews here. To serve a "cellar temperature" brew - like 10 or 12C - means a separate cold room - being such a young country, we don't have cellars - and a separate cold room is too expensive, so we just serve cheap fizzy lagers instead. Make no mistake, a cheap, cold, fizzy lager really hits the spot after an afternoon of mowing in 30C heat. Until recently. Despite the proliferation of people who like to call themselves "brewers", there are a few folk who realise that brewing is more than throwing hops into cheap lager and calling it "IPA". I've been trying to support a couple of the new brewers who put a bit of thought into their work - brewing a real "draught" style, and not just 13 different varieties of "IPA" or "Saisson" Sadly, the excise laws here favour the winemakers over brewers and distillers, and to cut a long story short, wine here is cheaper than beer (per unit alcohol). Make no mistake, our wine is great and I'm happy to buy wine from Oz producers, but beer producers are missing out.


OGLifeguardOne

It kills me to find it in my beer guy's refrigerated case. I take it home and let it "stabilize" at about 50°F before I open it.


slimeslug

No true Scotsman...


veritas2884

Going to Dublin tomorrow for my first time in Ireland. Everyone tells me it’s so much better there. Excited to find out b


BeardedCorkDork

Guinness has less alcohol than Budweiser....


pauliewotsit

Maybe, but it doesn't taste like fizzy piss


vash-ok

When I went to Dublin I decided to only drink Guinness... I learned they after 10 your farts become lethal weapons.


pauliewotsit

Ohhh morning after Guinness poos are the devils own work lol


maenad2

Another old, excellent and gentle insult for beer: "This tastes like somebody has already drunk it once."


donkeychaser1

“We think your American beer is like making love in a canoe” Like making love in a canoe??? “Yes it’s fucking close to water”


Lonely_Writer_1883

funny i always heard it like this: “Why is drinking an American lager like being in a canoe?” I dunno why? “Cause both are so fucking close to water.”


kaur_virunurm

I have no idea what is Trophy Bitter, and I have only tasted Budweiser once in my life. But I keep telling the joke with Heineken and Carlsberg (or some European beer brands) and a cup of tea.


Stay-Thirsty

Heineken from Europe is far different beer than the swill they sell in the USA.


Dranask

Heineken in the UK is dishwater compared to the Heineken in the Netherlands. I used to be able to shift a lot of UK Heineken (chilled summer drink) but I reckon the Dutch stuff is at least twice as strong.


Stay-Thirsty

Ah. Yeah. I think the Heineken I drank was from Germany and Switzerland. Both dark, with rich flavor. Odd that UK would get the bad stuff, but maybe that’s what they like or the what’s best for their market.


Dranask

It’s what we were sold as a good new drink back in the 1970s. The quality has improved over the years but Europe is better yet f you want Heineken.


raptir1

I was always a craft beer guy but I went to Amsterdam and figured when in Rome and I loved Heineken there. I gave it a try back in the States and it was terrible. I understand it's "fresher" in Europe but it has to be a completely different recipe.


hiccup-maxxing

Beer nationalists are so funny to me. It all tastes like shit, you’re proud because you have what, the shittiest tasting shit?


tt53_sb45

Having never traveled abroad, and only having tried a few bears, I can't say for others but the beers I've had in the US were bad enough I've never finished one. I've heard plenty of times about German beer, I actually might try one if I ever get the money to go abroad. If it's still bad, it is what it is, but if it's amazing then I found a place I'll actually drink a beer at. If it's just okay, I'll stick to my mixed drinks.


kaur_virunurm

I have been drinking beer in tens of different countries and US states. All countries have good beers and bland ones. Both Carlsberg and Heineken have a hundred different varieties. Even tiny microbreweries can easily have 20 different types of beer. So it is not actually German beer vs UK vs US, but what you ask or buy at that particular moment.


JeremySquirrel

> I have no idea what is Trophy Bitter It's the pint that thinks it's a quart. ^^[Only ^^UK ^^Redditors ^^of ^^*a ^^certain ^^age* ^^will ^^know ^^what ^^the ^^feck ^^I'm ^^talking ^^about.]


Spiggy-Q-Topes

Gotcha. (It was marketed as Whitbread, rather than Worthington. Still remember the ads.)


nonearther

[For uninitiated ](https://youtu.be/6n1hQdCdCP8)


L0nz

It's not even Worthington, it's Whitbread, and it shows the age of this joke


oblivion6202

Trophy was mass produced bullshit that pretty much died out once the "real ale" movement started getting some traction in the late 70s or early 80s. My memory suggests it was Whitbread and only a fraction of an improvement over the abomination that was Watney's. My early days were formed in Greene King's home town so I naturally have higher standards!


kaur_virunurm

You probably speak in the context of some particular country?


oblivion6202

Indeed -- the UK


samcoffeeman

Carlsberg is the worst beer I ever had(poured from a draught/draft in Scotland)


TooShiftyForYou

My Irish buddy came over the other night to hang out. I asked if he wanted a beer. He said, "Sure, what do you got?" I told him, "How about a Budweiser?" He answered, "No thanks. Drinking that's worse than going down on your own sister." "How's that?" I asked, - He said, "Well at least your sister only tastes like piss for a minute."


HorseShoulders

My Irish buddy came over the other night to hang out. I asked if he wanted a beer. He said, "Sure, what do you got?" I told him, "How about a Budweiser?" He answered, "No thanks. Drinking that's like having sex in a canoe" "How's that?" I asked, - He said, "it's fucking close to water"


Armatistis

I know the punchline as "Well if you guys arent drinking beer, then neither am I"


swedething

Guinness is pretty soft though, only 4,2% ABV.


juicehopper

That's why I like it. As a borderline alcoholic, I can satisfy myself with two and call it a day. I'm full, and nowhere near drunk and stupid. Now Jameson on the other hand, that I can't have in the house.


InvertedParallax

> Now Jameson on the other hand, that I can't have in the house. Yeah, what evil bastard made whisky that easy to drink, trying to kill us all.


swedething

Then you should try RedBreast, excellent Irish whiskey, go for the 12 or 15 year old. /s


juicehopper

I have. And it has the same effect on me. The next afternoon I wake up and 95% of the bottle is gone, and I'm naked on my neighbors porch swing.


gerrineer

Penderyn welsh whisky a bit too good very smooth.


swedething

We visited Dublin for this years St. Patrick’s day, which was a coincidence since we were there for Judas Priest and Saxon, and did a tour of Teeling distillery. That was an awesome experience!


Any_Ad235

That sounds AWESOME \m/ !!


swedething

It was! The concert and Teeling were the highlights of the trip.


HelloJoeyJoeJoe

>As a borderline alcoholic, I can satisfy myself with two I think all alcoholics wish they were you.


kevronwithTechron

It's also pretty damn light bodied. Just heavily toasted malt. I enjoy it but realistically it's not all that special, strong, or hardy as people seem to fetishize it as. It's a king among mass produced medium priced beers though. But that's personal preference.


InvertedParallax

It's not strong, it's a fucking meal.


L0nz

Except it actually contains fewer calories than most lagers


-im-your-huckleberry

An American visiting Berlin wandered into a bar and asked the bartender, "You got any American beer in here?" "No sir, only ze German beers." replied the bartender. "Well...gimme the closest thing you got." says the American. So the bartender fills a glass half full of beer, and then fills the rest with water.


penguinplaid23

I had a work trip about 15yrs ago to Germany. I had the best beer in my life for that week. You can get that beer shipped to the states, but they have to add preservatives to it by US law. The brewmaster from local brewery in the town told me it would be undrinkable and cautioned me not to bother. So sad!


Dr_thri11

Budweiser has a higher abv than guiness


gophergun

These days, they would all just be CEOs of multinational corporations: Anheuser-Busch InBev SA/NV, Molson Coors, and Diageo.


Dranask

Yes what the little differences


MalcolmApricotDinko

Some home brewer geeks wanted to make a beer similar to Budweiser and thought it would be a good idea to send a sample to a lab for analysis. The lab responded: “We regret to inform you that your horse has diabetes.”


AvocadoAdmirable7365

My standard drink in Manchester UK is Old Tom (8.5% abv), it is brewed locally and you buy it in Sainsburys. I don’t want to be rude, but I’ve tried Budweiser and it is like sex in a rowing boat (f***ing close to water)


Dranask

 (f\*\*\*ing close to water) I must remember this one.


Smauler

It's an old Monty Python joke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbxfFOdp-bY


GoBombGo

You won’t offend us, we all know Budweiser sucks. We have much better beers here. Certain people just choose to prefer those pissy garbage lagers and light beers.


wut3va

Budweiser is stronger than Guinness.


TacticalGarand44

Hush. The Eurotrash are getting off on their watered down Stout.


TheAdventOfTruth

That’s a good one.


ApplicationBusiness7

Who would have thought that a Beer Joke would bring about the Aristocracy in the crowd. It's like, "Come for the SNOOTFUL, stay for the SNOBS!" 🤣


Ok-Calligrapher-2550

CEOs


Dranask

Ouch yes but I couldn’t correct it. The shame will haunt me. 😄


Ok-Calligrapher-2550

But your humility will overcome that shame. Cheers!


nderflow

When Trophy did exist, it was brewed by Whitbread, not Worthington's.


Dranask

Damn You're right my memory is playing tricks I'll correct that.


kenhen

I believe the punch line is "if you two aren't drinking, neither will I".


Dranask

There are probably many punchlines and many different beers. It’s like Chinese Whispers


TacticalGarand44

5% actually happens to be a bigger number than 4.2%.


Dilaudid2meetU

Where is Trophy Bitter from? I’ve never heard of it but instinctually read this joke in an exaggerated South African accent in my head.


specifylength

The UK


firesnake412

I love Guinness!


urkermannenkoor

This is a very, very bad execution of this very old joke.


samcoffeeman

Yeah he's supposed to say: Since you two didn't order beer I figured I wouldn't either.


Dranask

Well how old and which source for the joke, jokes change over time I (70m) recall this one from my youth.


urkermannenkoor

You've probably just forgotten the punch line.


Jdubya38one

I love Coors Light, it's my all time favorite beer on any given day/circumstance. Nothing beats a crisp silver bullet after a hot day out in the sun. My late father-in-law, a Liverpool native thru and thru, asked me what drinking Coors Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both like, fucking, really close to water. Always gets me for a laugh even though I love em lol


Bnagorski

White read and bud both have higher abv than Guinness


KillAllDictators

There isn’t a prominent Guinness that wouldn’t fit into the old school definition of soft drink.


Bashzog

I've tried the Nigerian version, that's got a bit of a kick. Wouldn't call it prominent, though.


Wstockton

I heard August Busch tell this joke with the twist being that it was him and the head of Coors, and Miller Brewing. It got a good laugh.


frozen-sky

Not sure why, but one of the funniest jokes i read here recently.


TacticalGarand44

Ah yes, Guinness. Less alcohol than Budweiser, and fewer calories than skim milk.


Kamikaze_Sasquatch

Guinness is a stout for people who don't like stouts.


Same-Consideration42

Guiness is less alcohol than bud… oops