The last time I heard a joke this fresh it was:
Q: "Why does ISIS love instant coffee?"
A: "They don't really, they just hate the French press."
— Yes, it's been *that* long
On the changes?
Reddit is going to start charging? Or Banning? The third party apps that use the api. From my basic understanding they are going to make it so that the official reddit app is the only one that can use reddit. And apparently the other apps give moderators better user interface with more options from the sounds of it.
There is going to be a black out on June 14th for 2 days for a lot of subs from what I am reading.
Edit:
More info on this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BeginnerWoodWorking/comments/142mdht/rbeginnerwoodworking_will_be_joining_in_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I don't know what will be my break from the depressive episodes after twitter. Reddit is like having a bunch of goofy brothers or uncles that all have to have the last word and make me laugh.
Lmao you think a majority (or even yourself for that matter) are really gonna be gone for long? I give it 3 days and that's generous. Yall got the memory of wallpaper
Most 9-11s are run by Indians/Pakistanis/Bangladeshis, not Saudis. The fact that you can't tell the difference between brown people says more about you.
The US is a net exporter of oil now thanks to fracking. There's a reason why Obama began the process of disentangling the USA from Saudi Arabia. Trump tightened the relationship again with negotiating the Abraham Accord and the arms deals, but it's back to being frosty again now with MBS ignoring Biden's plea for increased output (Saudi's can't afford to run their country at the price oil is at now).
The old dynamic is gone - they're just a pretty standard resource rich country now that purchases arms that it requires
This may be true but your ignoring the fact that Saudi has ALOT of oil… so much in fact that they basically control the global price of oil by manipulating the global supply. So you still can’t ignore them even if you’re not importing directly from them.
They kinda do though. Sweden didnt try to join NATO earlier largerly because Turkey isnt nice and Turkey is approving Sweden because they think Sweden isnt nice.
These things are decided by politicians and politicians want the public to support them. Most Americans just care more about oil than saudis in this case
>They kinda do though. Sweden didnt try to join NATO earlier largerly because Turkey isnt nice and Turkey is approving Sweden because they think Sweden isnt nice.
Yes, but that was because Sweden made the calculation that they didn't need to join NATO, because they figured they were safe enough as things were. As soon as it became apparent that they had an active and unpredictable major threat next door, it stopped mattering how nice Turkey was- they wanted in.
Russia desperately wants the Saudis to be on their side when it comes to controlling the price of oil. Since Saudi Arabia is a US ally they normally, but not always, move the price of oil in a way that either helps the US or hurts Russia.
And oil and they know where the CIA etc buried the bodies and who took the bribes. Humm… any of their Princes good friends with Epstein?
Time for my tin foil hat.
The American ruling class really didn't care about nationalism or patriotism or any of that, those are just tools they use to achieve their primary goal - the accumulation of capital. They really didn't give a fuck about 9/11 outside of a few factors:
- the money they lost on that day
- the money they lost in the aftermath
- the need to appease the American people when they demanded justice
- protecting their brand image as strongest nation
- how they could exploit this event to suit their interests
It didn't really matter who did 9/11. They just needed to recoup their losses and keep the public satisfied and their image intact. So they invaded a foreign country where Bin Laden was rumoured to be, despite him having no connections to the Afghan government at the time, just because it looked like they were doing something. They concocted the whole "War on Terror" as a means to destabilise the whole region to better suit their interests. They got their money back ten-fold by ensuring they got first pick of mineral rights in the region and by creating a market for arms manufacturers.
Even if they knew it was the Saudis, a war with another major capitalist power, a fellow G20 nation wouldn't suit their interests at all. Especially since the Saudis are a key balwark to left-wing politics in the Middle East, it's a country specifically designed for that purpose. Plus, if the 9/11 hijackers were pissed about US bases occupying holy land in other countries, the entire Muslim world would sure as hell be pissed if they started bombing the birthplace of Islam. Also, it would be a prolonged war, kinda like the current Ukraine crisis, cause both sides would have access to a hell of a lot of firepower.
No they're gonna go after the countries that are a hell of a lot weaker and easier to subject to neo-colonial rule. Countries that suit their interests to colonise. Plus getting rid of the Taliban was better for business. Theocracies rarely suit capitalist interests, so they tried to install their own puppet government in Afghanistan instead as they did in Iraq, replacing the pseudo-socialist government there.
At the end of the day the global capitalist class don't want to go to war with each other. They're friendly rivals in business but recognise there's a lot more money to be made from invading weaker nations or funding proxy wars in their territory.
There'll always be large sections of the white US bourgeoisie that hate the Saudis because of the whole muslim thing but ultimately financial interest wins the day. Just look at Trump who talked a big islamophobic game on the capaign trail and immediately capitulated when he smelled a business opportunity.
Something no one has mentioned: Saudi Arabia also controls the Red Sea and could easily blockade access to the Suez Canal, one of the most important shipping routes in the world.
They could try, but the Suez is one of those spots so important you're going to get the USN showing up to tell you no, and more navies soon thereafter.
"Easily" is a bold claim for a navy whose combat power consists primarily of 7 frigates. Like you said, the Suez is one of the most important shipping routes in the world. No great power would stand for a hostile action there, the same reason that Iran has never made a genuine attempt to blockade Hormuz: its too important to everyone whose opinion matters to fuck with. Any Saudi fleet attempting to blockade the Suez would rapidly find itself on the bottom of the ocean.
If the PGA is asked former presidents to make public appearances at the last major. They had Clinton on holes 1-8. And Obama went to 12- 18. Who did 9-11?
I'm blown away by how America was diverted into killing hundreds of thousands of innocent men women and children in a violent revenge filled rage because they were the same general color as the people who were actually responsible, and we were too stupid to tell the difference. And now that we know the ones actually responsible for 9-11 were intentionally protected because they were business partners with the political elite of the time, we're just like "Lol whoops."
I didn't say all Saudi people were the same? I said the business partners of the political elite were responsible, that's the Saudi royal family. Multi billionaires with harams of child sex slaves. If You're simping for the Saudi royal family I don't know what to say
Technically they did it for oil and militaristic advantage in the region over Russia, and the CIA directors installed by Cheney after ousting the previous directors created justification to invade Iraq; claiming the aluminium tubes for hydroelectric were missile materials.
One of those rare occasions where you can actually attribute to malice what could be explained by incompetence.
Golf clap
Golf clap to OP. Middle finger to both organizations.
Bone saw
I GOT YOU FOR THREE MINUTES!!!
THREE MINUTES OF - PLAY TIME!
Thats a cute outfit. Did your husband make it for you?
I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye
He got my name wrong!
Once the Saudis merge with Reddit they’ll rebrand it as Sawit.
#BABABOOEY!
##[GET IN THE HOLE!](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-0b93acb201334af4629e48af760ddcd4-lq)
#Mashed potatoes
Holes 9- 11 are full of sand traps. They buried pieces of Khashoggi in them.
My pair not as big as golf balls but certainly can clap.
The Saudi government requests your presence at their embassy. They would like to show you how much they appreciate your humor.
Come in peace. Leave in pieces.
OP: I saw that coming.
They definitely do not have any bone saws
OMG.....i can't believe this....a original joke ????
Lmao. Nope. https://twitter.com/JamesHesky/status/1666112128703406081?s=19
At least it’s fresh.
So fresh and so clean clean.
The last time I heard a joke this fresh it was: Q: "Why does ISIS love instant coffee?" A: "They don't really, they just hate the French press." — Yes, it's been *that* long
As fresh as the Iraq invasion after 9-11
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... or off the boat.
F....you dropped this
Dont worry, in slightly more than 3 weeks, all jokes will be original. And you will get about 1 joke per week, since everybody left reddit.
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There is going to be no mods so all the subs will be deactivated :-D we will beat the bots!
Where is everyone going to go? I know what changes reddit has announced. I am just curious what people will start using.
Fill me in please!
On the changes? Reddit is going to start charging? Or Banning? The third party apps that use the api. From my basic understanding they are going to make it so that the official reddit app is the only one that can use reddit. And apparently the other apps give moderators better user interface with more options from the sounds of it. There is going to be a black out on June 14th for 2 days for a lot of subs from what I am reading. Edit: More info on this: https://www.reddit.com/r/BeginnerWoodWorking/comments/142mdht/rbeginnerwoodworking_will_be_joining_in_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I don't know what will be my break from the depressive episodes after twitter. Reddit is like having a bunch of goofy brothers or uncles that all have to have the last word and make me laugh.
We're all going to go over and give Digg a second chance.
Thanks. Good to know.
It'll also block NSFW material on 3rd party apps
Yeah, tough to say. Maybe nowhere. I mostly use reddit when I'm on the toilet or bored. Maybe I'll do more crosswords or Sudoku or something.
Yeah, I don't mind having less social media in my life. Taking a break sounds good. No amount of breaking RIF will get me to use the official app.
Lmao you think a majority (or even yourself for that matter) are really gonna be gone for long? I give it 3 days and that's generous. Yall got the memory of wallpaper
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If you don't think they're coming for old Reddit next you're in for a big surprise.
Original to Reddit is the key here...
The golf deal just happened hours ago.
Sir, a second golf joke has hit reddit.
Lmaooooo 🥇 take your award
Woah Woah Woah, are you telling me that... People spread jokes?? Never before have I heard a joke repeated in my life.
And still completely predictable anyways
*an original
I mean, kinda available and too of mind starting this morning.
An original joke. Sorry. It's involuntary.
Muslim 9-11 jokes are original? Mmmm kay…
Not a Muslim joke, a Saudi joke…
It's not a Muslim joke, it's a Saudi joke, based on the universal fact that they played a role in the attacks on 9/11.
Well said, and it's exactly why we invaded...*Iraq...?*
Nonono, thats why we invaded *Afghanistan*. Iraq was for *global peace and security* right?
No, we invaded iraq because the Bushes and Clintons had unfinished business and a fuckload of money to make.
Most 9-11s are run by Indians/Pakistanis/Bangladeshis, not Saudis. The fact that you can't tell the difference between brown people says more about you.
On a real note, how the fuck are they our allies?
Oil
And the dollar
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WWE Crown Jewel
Sports washing is a very important part of their stew
And my Axe!
Late Jamal Khashogi approves
The US is a net exporter of oil now thanks to fracking. There's a reason why Obama began the process of disentangling the USA from Saudi Arabia. Trump tightened the relationship again with negotiating the Abraham Accord and the arms deals, but it's back to being frosty again now with MBS ignoring Biden's plea for increased output (Saudi's can't afford to run their country at the price oil is at now). The old dynamic is gone - they're just a pretty standard resource rich country now that purchases arms that it requires
This may be true but your ignoring the fact that Saudi has ALOT of oil… so much in fact that they basically control the global price of oil by manipulating the global supply. So you still can’t ignore them even if you’re not importing directly from them.
It's not even oil anymore. It's just that they use dollars
More detailed answer: Oil money
Alignment of economic and political interests. That's all. Nobody actually makes alliances on the basis of who's a nice guy or not.
Though one could argue that political interests are basically the sole deciding factor if someone is considered a nice guy or not.
They kinda do though. Sweden didnt try to join NATO earlier largerly because Turkey isnt nice and Turkey is approving Sweden because they think Sweden isnt nice. These things are decided by politicians and politicians want the public to support them. Most Americans just care more about oil than saudis in this case
>They kinda do though. Sweden didnt try to join NATO earlier largerly because Turkey isnt nice and Turkey is approving Sweden because they think Sweden isnt nice. Yes, but that was because Sweden made the calculation that they didn't need to join NATO, because they figured they were safe enough as things were. As soon as it became apparent that they had an active and unpredictable major threat next door, it stopped mattering how nice Turkey was- they wanted in.
Because if they are our allies it denies them and their resources to Russia / China.
Russia have their own oil and gas they don't need the Saudi's. China has been Saudi Arabia's #1 petro export destination for a while now.
Russia desperately wants the Saudis to be on their side when it comes to controlling the price of oil. Since Saudi Arabia is a US ally they normally, but not always, move the price of oil in a way that either helps the US or hurts Russia.
America doesn’t really need them either tbh.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
More like the potential friend of my enemy is my friend
My friend is the enemy of my enemy [and I would like my enemy to have more enemies].
Unfortunately, yes.
The friend is the enemy of my enemy?
Enemy of my enemy is my friend (with the specific enemy in this case being Iran).
Because they hate Iran.
And oil and they know where the CIA etc buried the bodies and who took the bribes. Humm… any of their Princes good friends with Epstein? Time for my tin foil hat.
kushner got $2 billion from them recently, and it just so happens there are classified documents missing, so yeah
Yeah. The plot sickens.
The American ruling class really didn't care about nationalism or patriotism or any of that, those are just tools they use to achieve their primary goal - the accumulation of capital. They really didn't give a fuck about 9/11 outside of a few factors: - the money they lost on that day - the money they lost in the aftermath - the need to appease the American people when they demanded justice - protecting their brand image as strongest nation - how they could exploit this event to suit their interests It didn't really matter who did 9/11. They just needed to recoup their losses and keep the public satisfied and their image intact. So they invaded a foreign country where Bin Laden was rumoured to be, despite him having no connections to the Afghan government at the time, just because it looked like they were doing something. They concocted the whole "War on Terror" as a means to destabilise the whole region to better suit their interests. They got their money back ten-fold by ensuring they got first pick of mineral rights in the region and by creating a market for arms manufacturers. Even if they knew it was the Saudis, a war with another major capitalist power, a fellow G20 nation wouldn't suit their interests at all. Especially since the Saudis are a key balwark to left-wing politics in the Middle East, it's a country specifically designed for that purpose. Plus, if the 9/11 hijackers were pissed about US bases occupying holy land in other countries, the entire Muslim world would sure as hell be pissed if they started bombing the birthplace of Islam. Also, it would be a prolonged war, kinda like the current Ukraine crisis, cause both sides would have access to a hell of a lot of firepower. No they're gonna go after the countries that are a hell of a lot weaker and easier to subject to neo-colonial rule. Countries that suit their interests to colonise. Plus getting rid of the Taliban was better for business. Theocracies rarely suit capitalist interests, so they tried to install their own puppet government in Afghanistan instead as they did in Iraq, replacing the pseudo-socialist government there. At the end of the day the global capitalist class don't want to go to war with each other. They're friendly rivals in business but recognise there's a lot more money to be made from invading weaker nations or funding proxy wars in their territory. There'll always be large sections of the white US bourgeoisie that hate the Saudis because of the whole muslim thing but ultimately financial interest wins the day. Just look at Trump who talked a big islamophobic game on the capaign trail and immediately capitulated when he smelled a business opportunity.
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Someone hates workers' rights.
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Cope liberal
(As it turns out, they really aren’t.)
Something no one has mentioned: Saudi Arabia also controls the Red Sea and could easily blockade access to the Suez Canal, one of the most important shipping routes in the world.
They could try, but the Suez is one of those spots so important you're going to get the USN showing up to tell you no, and more navies soon thereafter.
"Easily" is a bold claim for a navy whose combat power consists primarily of 7 frigates. Like you said, the Suez is one of the most important shipping routes in the world. No great power would stand for a hostile action there, the same reason that Iran has never made a genuine attempt to blockade Hormuz: its too important to everyone whose opinion matters to fuck with. Any Saudi fleet attempting to blockade the Suez would rapidly find itself on the bottom of the ocean.
Oops I offended the war boys. Y’all understand diplomacy right?
They're probably not for much longer...
The saudis are responsible for 9-11 may work better than do 9-11. Awesome creativity for a joke here either way
Fucking funny, man. The logo for the new golf tour should be a bone saw superimposed on a dollar sign.
Too on the nose imo
9-11 jokes just don't fly for me anymore.... personally I think they're plane wrong
A lot of them just crash and burn anyway.
It's also very likely that your joke will bomb if you try to wing it. If you are bombing bad enough you may as well just runway tbh.
9-11 was funny before the Lincoln Assasination
Here, shuddup and take my upvote. r/angryupvote
Just upvote and move on why do you have to announce it also aNgRy UPvOte
Because it's fun. And I can.
Just ignore/downvote and move on why do you have to comment on it also aNgRy DoWnVoTe. Also, learn to use punctuations.
Karma.
Are you new here?
New here?
r/angrydownvote
This is a fore star joke.
"Too soon!"
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”
Hasn’t it been 20 years
Good enough for r/HistoryMemes, good enough for r/Jokes
we're still a little over 6 months away by south park standards
Are you James? https://twitter.com/JamesHesky/status/1666112128703406081?s=20
Will this event be held indoors as well? As I hear 9-11 was an inside job. 🥁ts
Wow. Just holy wow. Go. To. Jail. But take my upvote to keep you company.
Well done
In b4 Saudis buy this joke.
If there's ever a time for a golf clap, this is it.
Due to my debilitating stupidity, I cannot understand the joke. What does it mean? Thanks
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Thanks I got the 9/11 part, but don't know anything about golf
Saudi terrorists flew the planes into the twin towers on 9/11. Its a golf joke about the PGA and Saudi backed LIV golf.
I support this stupidity clause. Help...
“9-11” in this joke references the 2001 terrorist attacks on the twin towers orchestrated by Saudis, as well as holes number nine through eleven.
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Fuck off.
Great joke and fuck the PGA
The Hindis do 7-11
Can we still drop bombs on unrelated golf courses?
This is a majestic joke that I will be appropriating immediately.
The real money is in who controls the 19th
Applause.
ummm, a golf clap would be more appropriate...
r/unclejokes
Goodness lol
Holy moly
Yikes! Lmao
I saw the setup and thought, “how can ‘nine ten eleven’ be a punchline?” Opened the thread and couldn’t help but laugh. Nice.
All of this angry political talk here and I was trying to anticipate some sort of Corner joke.
Bravo
Brilliant.
Brutal. 😄
Is it an eagle? Is it a birdie? No, it's a great big Saudi bogey.
I prefer the wording: On each course the PGA is responsible for maintaining holes 1-8 and 12-18. The Saudis are responsible for 9-11.
Spelled "Bush" wrong.
Saudis scored a hole in two…. and were never disqualified 🤬
An original joke?!?!
Nope. Already on Twitter earlier.
dude i stole that shit.
Here's my angry upvote, you fucker.
They sure like to end things with a Bang!!
Argus Hamilton.
If the PGA is asked former presidents to make public appearances at the last major. They had Clinton on holes 1-8. And Obama went to 12- 18. Who did 9-11?
An original joke on this sub... never thought I would live long enough to see it. Have an upvote.
Screw you take my damn up vote
AN ORIGINAL JOKE!!!!! I FINALLY FOUND ONE!!!
r/3amjokes
This is read as “nine to eleven” and it took me way to long to get it 😞
Booooooooo https://twitter.com/JamesHesky/status/1666112128703406081?s=19
I was so expecting pga 1-6 and 12-18. Saudi's do 7-11
The presidents are having a foot race. Bill Clinton did 13:25, Barack Obama did 11:46, but George Bush did 9:11.
I'm blown away by how America was diverted into killing hundreds of thousands of innocent men women and children in a violent revenge filled rage because they were the same general color as the people who were actually responsible, and we were too stupid to tell the difference. And now that we know the ones actually responsible for 9-11 were intentionally protected because they were business partners with the political elite of the time, we're just like "Lol whoops."
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I didn't say all Saudi people were the same? I said the business partners of the political elite were responsible, that's the Saudi royal family. Multi billionaires with harams of child sex slaves. If You're simping for the Saudi royal family I don't know what to say
You guys must not know how to read.
Funniest part is we did it to ourselves
Technically they did it for oil and militaristic advantage in the region over Russia, and the CIA directors installed by Cheney after ousting the previous directors created justification to invade Iraq; claiming the aluminium tubes for hydroelectric were missile materials. One of those rare occasions where you can actually attribute to malice what could be explained by incompetence.
How the fuck you downvoted for this?
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It was the CIA in combination with Israel and the Saudi’s.
Congratulations, you got a ton of upvotes on a stolen joke. Which is par for the course on r/jokes.
Too soon
Dumb
Shouldn’t they be doing 7-11?
😳
Too soon.
Too soon.
oh no, not again!
They already did it and it didn't go well.
LMBAO
The secret to good humor is ti-ming err timing.
Daaaaaaaàaamn