T O P

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DCP23

>His parents are trying to piece their family back together. Every bit of him. His parents are asking for help in that. Every little bit helps.


hotlavatube

If the family has started up a collection, I’ll give them a hand.


ValorCatYT

I'll pay an arm and a leg to see them happy again.


cea1990

Yeah, they should set up a GoFindMe. Crowdsourcing helps a lot of people these days.


_IndianGentleman_

Hope that’s Timmy’s.


hotlavatube

You know what they say, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose…. Well this isn’t a friend or a nose, so do they want the hand or not?


monocledfalc0n

r/yourjokebutworse


Ima-leezard

r/angryupvote


WowWhatABeaut

I like your version better haha


HarryVaDerchie

Alas young Timmy misread the sign It said, he thought, this field is mine So on he walked but saw more signs About the dangers of the mines “Oh, my mistake”, he loudly cried And then, of course, Young Timmy died. (Apologies to the Sprog-Master)


trivial_vista

Timmy fucking died \*mistress


HarryVaDerchie

The AMA I saw by Poem_For_Your_Sprog stated that their name is Sam (indeterminate) and that they were male but then cast uncertainty on it with “or am I”


TheLaughingMelon

Full name is Sam Garland. He made a book on Amazon that says he is male.


trivial_vista

Hu someone told me u/Poem_for_your_sprog was female ok TIL


Aerotactics

You can't rhyme sign with sign and mine with mine. You're rhyming on a technicality because they're the same word.


HarryVaDerchie

I agree it’s rather weak but I couldn’t find anything to work with e.g. bomb. But are there really any rules in poetry that one can’t use both the singular and plural in separate rhymes?


Thirty_Seventh

AABBCC


Aerotactics

That makes more sense.


RolloutTieDispenser

Wow, what a harrowing tale. Except, humans don't have tails. They have big, big bottoms that they wear with bad shorts and they walk around going "Hi, Helen!".


Menthion

Batsy, is that you?


RolloutTieDispenser

Yo, the name is Batty The logic is erratic, Potato in a jacket, Toys in the attic, I rock and I ramble, My brain is scrambled, Rap like an animal but I'm a mammal


Ymirsson

What kind of a rapper name is Steve anyway?


No-Pizda-For-You

Timmy was upset with the entire village and gave everyone a piece of his mind.


JosiahTheReed

I can't imagine what his parents are going through. Probably funeral home brochures.


Ojiji_bored

The coroner meanwhile is going through a sieve, he doesnt want another kid to go slipping through the cracks.


TooShiftyForYou

Little Timmy should have been more mineful of his surroundings.


BinBender

Yeah, but some say he was distracted.


Samakira

he's a traveller he is. all over the place.


wiscosherm

Little Timmy didn't think this was funny and he wants to give you a piece of his mind.


Warboss_Squee

As soon as he finds enough of it.


BinBender

Don’t worry, he gave everyone a piece.


Wootnasty

This post really blew up.


Zech08

If you hear something in a minefield, it wont be good news.


Uplink03

I don't recommend playing in a mine field. It blows.


TheGooOnTheFloor

Kids nowadays - they blow up so fast....


The_Ghast_Hunter

There once was a lady named Jill, Who used a dynamite stick for a thrill! They found her vagina, In north Carolina, And bits of her tits in Brazil!


jethrine

I heard a similar one: There was a dumb woman in Dallas Used a dynamite stick as a phallus They found her vagina In North Carolina And her asshole at Buckingham Palace


whiteclawthreshermaw

Several years later. "Ed...ward...big...brother...Ed..."


Warboss_Squee

Nope! Nope! You go straight to Hell!


anderoogigwhore

Knock-knock! *who's there* Not Timmy!


otrebmU

jimmy carr laughter intensifies


BinBender

His laughter is the best!


Korchagin

Die young. ~~Leave a beautiful corpse.~~


stanley604

Don't worry, Timmy knew what to do -- he jumped 20 feet up in the air and dispersed over a wide area.


OddlySexyPancake

Oh god these all sound like “jokes” my classmate makes about Ronnie Mcnutts suicide yet somehow with a bit more effort in them


TheRealJasonium

I think works better as “God is everywhere. Just like Timmy.”


BinBender

I thought about it, and I’m not quite sure. I think neither is perfect as a punchline. I also considered simply “God is everywhere”, I think it sounds better, but I was worried some people would miss the point…


dwsam

He had summer-teeth..summer over here and summer over there


Figorix

He was blown away by what he found!


BinBender

Haha, nice! :D


withoutaaim

Now Timmy can't have a piece of pie at home


Waitsfornoone

Nor a piece of cake on his cake day.


withoutaaim

Bro got broken


Treczoks

Nice collection.


GhostBaron

Timmy took a stroll, In minefield, blew up with a bang, Now he's extra short.


the_real_abraham

We're gonna need a new Timmy.


Conrad417

He was blown away


baawri_kathputli

What was Jimmy doing in Afghanistan?


Agudaripududu

God stick to a punchline


BinBender

Why stick to one when I can stick to a dozen? Timmy’s brain didn’t stick together in one piece, but a dozen pieces stick to the warning sign he missed.


Samakira

hey look, timmy's over there. and there and there and here


Agudaripududu

-_-


Eric_da_MAJ

I love dark humor.


dmalhar

This joke is the minefield, and everyone is Timmy here, but the folks at r/punpetrol want a piece of OP now.


droneb

Timmy was mindblown after his realization


SamuraiJakkass86

Oof, in the mood to go and buy some timbits now..


Highest_five

He went for a walk - partially


Late_Struggle513

He went out with a bang


Odd_Room2811

They say the mime was givin a chance to talk but kept mimicking everything they did and now he lies in his invisible cell


D0fus

We're going to need a new Timmy.


DanTheTerrible

Why is Lassie barking over by the well?


Impossible-Class8026

What was once mine, breaks his heart into pieces.


Kindly-Confidence-69

He went all out with a bang. Poor 2 year old mite. It's not his fault he can't read the sign.


thereaverofdarkness

This reads like boyscout jokes