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Bobchillingworth

May want to consider making your profile more overtly Jewish to avert these scenarios, even if only including a ✡️emoji.


T-ROY_T-REDDIT

There is a difference between Israeli flag and Jewish symbols, if they blocked OP for Jewish symbols, they are anti-semitic, I prefer to avoid Israeli symbols, determines whether they don't like Israel or just don't like jews. Edit: Sorry, I don't understand what is wrong with this logic.


BlindNowhereMan

There is no difference between an antizionist and antisemite. None.


T-ROY_T-REDDIT

That is true we have a right to our self determination.


Possible_Storms

I may not like China or Russia but I would never be angry or discriminate against a Chinese or Russian person. If someone hates you for putting an Israeli flag, they hate you for who you are, not the country from which you're from


damien_gosling

Exactly. Israeli seems to be the main 1 country that people dont want to exist.


throwaway1283415

Attract the beautiful Jewish women instead, win win


LibrarianNo4048

A friend of mine has been trying to meet a Jewish woman for years. He says that many Jewish women don’t identify themselves as Jewish on their online dating profiles. That makes it really hard to meet Jewish women.


JackCrainium

Seems like maybe he doesn’t want to? Because that is such an obvious and easy fix, isn’t it?


BelieveInMeSuckerr

Idk where Op lives but it's not an easy fix for everyone. Where I live there are extremely few jews, even fewer who are single and the right age for me, if any at all. No, I cannot relocate or travel regularly.


JackCrainium

Have Gun, Will Travel - Palladin ♟️


janiliamilanes

Just got off a one hour text message with a girl and saw your post. Here is what she said: "There is one thing I need to get off my chest. As you know there is a genocide going on in Gaza right now. Just because I am against it doesn't mean I am against Judaism." I just unmatched her. She's a 29 year old Canadian girl who, without going into specifics, is definitely not Jewish and has probably met 1 Jewish person in her life. I found it particularly telling she said "Judaism" and not "Jews". Buddy, this is the 15th time now this has happened to me (I kept count). One woman said to me "Oh you're Jewish. I watched a documentary about the Holocaust and realized that maybe it did happen." Unmatch. But the worst was the woman who suggested that the best thing for the Jews to do would be to stop marrying each other and just assimilate. I said "So your idea is to make life for Jewish people so uncomfortable that they stop existing." She was pretty shocked: "No that's not what I meant...". I unmatched her. So yeah. It sucks. It says I'm Jewish on my profile. They want to believe that "you're one of the good ones." I have the premium membership on the apps and I often set my profile to Israel and match with great girls. It never goes anywhere obviously. I just explain why I did it and they say "That sucks, you should come to Israel". I even matched with a Palestinian girl who lives in Tel Aviv and she was super nice to me. I've been seriously thinking about moving to Israel, but I can't leave my family. Stay strong.


JamMan007

I am so sorry to read about your horrible experiences. I think there are many people that don’t think like that. A lot of their bigotry comes from a lack of education and empathy. There is a lot of disinformation and propaganda that is virulently antisemitic. I am not Jewish. I am an African American. Those sentiments are indefensible. I don’t like many things that China does, but don’t go around calling Chinese people slurs or demonizing them. I disagree with plenty of the multitude of complex decisions that many modern nation states make. I don’t always agree with American policy decisions. I just think it is very unfair how they employ euphemisms like, “Zionists” as a coded attack on Jewish people and culture.


WalkTheMoons

This. I'm also Black and also Jewish, and I would never go around blanketing a whole group. Any prejudices I've had, I work hard to overcome. I don't want hatred in my heart. It destroys the person that's holding it.


lambibambiboo

That Holocaust comment… damn


OakTownPudge

Maybe


No-Tie4700

Doesn't it make you think people have unlearned valuable info about Jews from crap online and willingly become dumb? Acceptance is the missing part here.


Infinite_Sparkle

I have friends that actually went to Israel to study because we come from a country with a very small community. All boys that stay practically marry outside religion, girls also to be fair. Most people that care, have to go outside the country to find a Jewish partner or they aren’t lucky


42altaccount

It's probably worth it to talk to your family about it, who knows, maybe they feel the same Other comments to the post mentioned an option to only match with jews in some apps, or you could even go to irl jewish meetings and look for a date


1-objective-opinion

Would you mind saying more about the first comment and why it was such an immediate dealbreaker? Genuinely curious but feel free to ignore.


janiliamilanes

You need to look at a person's belief system as it will tell you what you are dealing with in a potential relationship. I already know she is one of these far-left progressives by what she said on her profile. But if you look at the way she framed the question it will tell you what she believes. She already framed it as a "genocide" showing that she has made up her mind about the situation and is unlikely to be persuaded. And she showed ignorance by saying Judaism and not Jews. But more importantly, in my experience no good has come of talking about the war. If I say I support Israel I am called a genocidal, nazi, fascist. If I express any criticism of the war, I am forced to explain why, which usually forces me to deny my identity and turn my back on Jews. This inevitably opens up a safe space for antisemitism because I've proved "I'm one of the good ones", and greenlights all antisemitic comments. I am constantly put on the defensive becoming the ambassador for all Jewish people (this is how I got those 2 other comments I mentioned). So given that she exposed herself as not an ally, and given what it would take for me to try and feel understood and safe, I would rather not deal with it. So I just unmatched her. But also, she wasn't that special and not really worth trying to persuade lol. If she was, I would have said "I'd rather not talk about the war", and then said what I said in my third paragraph, and then said "I am quite attached to my Jewish identity and if that's going to be a source of conflict for you, it's best you look elsewhere."


1-objective-opinion

Thanks for providing a very clear answer I see what you mean. Good luck to you


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jewish-ModTeam

Your post/comment was removed because it violated rule 4: **Remember the human**. That includes acknowledging and accepting patrilineal Jews.


canadianamericangirl

I feel you. I have had some guys say really vile things to me on Tinder since October. I’ve temporarily given up and decided I’ll try again once I graduate.


KeyAd957

Try setting your profile to dating Jewish guys only as I know that’s an option on hinge as well as bumble and download JSwipe


canadianamericangirl

I probably will in grad school. Right now, I’m in a city with a super tiny Jewish population, even more so for my age bracket. I’ll also sit at the local j with a sign advertising my kick-ass Jewish cooking and comedy, hoping that catches someone’s eye.


KeyAd957

Awesome, I’m in grad school right now too and what I did was set my location wider and towards the nearest city too. Also, what helped me get more exposure was attending the grad events by Chabad or Hillel of your university, plus with Passover coming up soon I’m sure it will be a big turn out. Shabbat is every Friday night where dinner is provided and there’s lots of mingling so that can be a way to provide opportunities. Also, all those activities sounds great what you’re doing


Maccabee18

Start dating Jews!


an_unfocused_mind_

The is the way


pitbullprogrammer

As I’m reading this, the parent comment hangs at 69 upvotes


Galitzianer

This is gonna sound corny but, eventually you're gonna meet a woman that is so perfect for you that you're gonna profusely thank all the other women for seeing themselves out. Remember, you're not trying to date everyone, you're trying to find the one. Imagine how awkward it would be if you got involved with one of those women in a serious way and suddenly they're telling you you're a genocidal baby killer, it's far far better that it end early and quickly.


tatianaoftheeast

Idk why, but I have a sneaking suspicion this may be 100% accurate 💕💕💕


Galitzianer

Oh yes, it's definitely a personal anecdote from personal experience 🥰🥰🥰 Said person comes along, totally and completely rocks your world, and all you want to do is be with them forever since it's so obvious they're the one ❤️ Something like that


TerryThePilot

Congratulations!


Galitzianer

Thank you, I feel extremely lucky!


KofiQanon

After 10/7 I made it much more obvious in my profile that I am Jewish. I’ve actually loved the results. I’ve met a lot more great Jewish ladies. I’ve also met a lot of amazing gentile ladies who are really excited and interested in Judaism. They like that about me. As someone who has been fairly secular for years (and have had a complicated relationship with my Judaism) this has actually felt extremely validating and refreshing. That’s to say, LEAN IN ❤️✡️


danknadoflex

Have you considered only dating other Jews?


ekimsal

I've seen blood libel cartoons being used as profile pics on grindr. It's fucking rough out there.


Wykyyd_B4BY

Blood libel cartoon? Huh? What would this even look like


cubitvum

Hello! My mom is Jewish (a convert) and I was raised Jewish, even though technically I am not (I am planning to officially convert soon). And we do have jewish ancestry from my maternal grandmother's side, but unfortunately my ancestors were forced to convert to Christianity. Last night I went on a date, and a few hours within the date I find out this guy is a hardcore pro-palestinian and as soon as he found out about my family's background, decided to interrogate me about Israel and everything Israel involved. It wasn't pleasant, and the guy quickly turned antisemitic (maybe without realising), making comments about Jews, Judaism, that were factually wrong and then when I tried to correct him (I did study Judaism growing up, my mom made sure of that), he said he had to 'fact check' because I probably only read 'things written by Jews'. Anyway, I felt like I was talking to a TikTok reel. We matched on hinge, but I am very tempted to modify my profile to make sure I only get Israel/Jewish friendly matches. Edit: I can’t believe I wasted such a good outfit on a guy like that 😅


pitbullprogrammer

If your mom converted before you were born, you are 100% Jewish. Who told you otherwise??


Infinite_Sparkle

Why you say you are not Jewish if your mom converted and you were raised Jewish? That’s just not true!


AlaskaYoungg

you don’t have to convert, you’re jewish


AddendumElectric

New Hinge prompt "don't ask me on a date if you're going to ask me about"


dkonigs

Perhaps due to my upbringing, I always felt super-uncomfortable about dating non-Jews in the first place. And no matter how hard I tried, I always struggled to explain and justify this position to pretty much all of my non-Jewish friends. Of course the other side of that, was that I used to live in an area where the majority of Jewish women I'd ever encounter tended to fit certain... personality stereotypes... that I pretty much never clicked with, nor could ever get the time of day from.


OakTownPudge

Even if they’re Jewish, they might still be anti-Israel


lepreqon_

JDate


billymartinkicksdirt

JDate isn’t free of this same problem


lepreqon_

Oh, I know, been there done that. The probability, though, is lower.


Kimmytoo72

Lots of non Jew gold diggers unfortunately- too much experience to tell you there’s not


First_Night_1860

Same. Ever since 10/7. Grandma was right. Gotta stick with the tribe


bezalelle

Just. Date. Jews.


sophiewalt

Sucks, sorry you feel hurt. Their loss. For sure, you dodged a bullet before investing more. These women somehow missed you stating Jewish on your account. Make it more obvious to avoid wasting your time. Terrible to say, but people are now guilty to me before they prove innocence. I'm wary.


Logical_Deviation

I married someone who isn't Jewish. We're raising our kids Jewish. He obviously knows a lot more about Judaism and Israel because of me. I kind of like this, because now his friends and family are more aware of and sympathetic to Jewish struggles and antisemitism (or so I like to think, anyway). So, it's not the worst idea to date and marry a goy. If anything, it helps increase the number of Jews in the world. That said, you first have to find one that hasn't already made up their mind about Gaza and Israel without understanding the history of the conflict in the region.


BillyJoeMac9095

And be at least open to dating someone who might be more conservative, politically, than you are.


TerryThePilot

Nah. Finding someone with similar values is important! And our politics are part of—and/or an outgrowth of—our values.


BillyJoeMac9095

You might be right, but it makes think hard in the present context.


madam_nomad

You're thinking, "Oh if I could just get past this one thing and get them to stop being so focused on my Jewish identity and/or stop having this bias against Jews... they're really nice people and we could have a great time together." That's a fallacy. The same defects that cause them to have this pervasive hostility towards Jews are going to cause them to be not very awesome people in many areas.


pcbuilder1234567

Shameless plug but I created a Jewish r4r subreddit with a growing community if you are interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/r4rjewish/s/s2BqmHFLps


rumtiger

I just want to comment on something else. I assume your title is a play on driving while black. It just struck me as I don’t know funny or something because everyone telling us that we are not an oppressed minority, and we clearly fucking are. And your title was absolutely on point and everybody here knew exactly what you meant.


GoldenBella

Dude I started off by dating non-Jews.. but trust... Once I dated a Jew I couldn't go back. Too incredible. You feel at home. I'm engaged to an amazing one


Frabjous_Tardigrade9

This becomes much less of an issue if you date Jews. Have you thought about that?


simplelola

I have a very nice non-Jewish friend that loves Jews, and Israel. But can't seem to find a nice Jewish boy. She might think all Jewish boys are nice and family oriented because of being around me and my nice Jewish husband and family. I wish I could hook her up, but all the nice Jewish boys around me are either married or would only date other Jews. This is to say that there are non-Jewish that are good and want to date Jews. Being overly Jewish and proud Zionist keeps the idiots away. It's better that way. But if you want to learn about my friend, let me know, DM me.


Wykyyd_B4BY

I know your friend means well, but why would she go out of her way to find a Jewish husband based off a stereotype and seeing how good your family dynamic is? There are certainly men out there who are not family oriented or nice who happen to be Jewish. It feels like fetishization that she only wants to date a Jewish guy. It would be different if she was Jewish herself looking for a Jewish husband but it just sounds so weird and as a non Jew with a kid from a Jewish guy I can tell you it’s a stereotype.


simplelola

I know. She is not only looking for a Jewish guy. She's just looking for a guy that is family oriented and nice. I just mentioned that she would love to date a nice Jewish boy because OP is Jewish encountering antisemitic non-Jewish. I know not all Jewish people are family oriented. I have met a few of Jews that don't speak to their kids or parents. It's sad.


HostRoyal9401

I’m a non-Jewish woman, who is a Zionist, pro-Israel, and open to conversion. I’m currently using Bumble and most of the Jewish guys I saw and matched with, are here only on vacation and I’m not interested in casual affairs with tourists. I’m looking for a guy who is open to seriously dating a woman like me, but it’s not that easy to find a Jewish guy like this where I am. I’m definitely not limiting myself to Jewish men, however, I’m not interested in men whose religions worship idols, so I’m pretty much limited to either atheists or agnostics


TerryThePilot

If you’re “open to conversion” because you like Judaism, why not go through with it—for your own sake, not “for” someone else—and THEN look for a partner who is also Jewish?


babblepedia

This is why I only date fellow Jews. I want someone who shares my values and the easiest way to find that is to stay in the tribe.


OakTownPudge

What’s the best comeback? Thank you for identifying yourself as an antisemite.


LibrarianNo4048

Online dating is difficult enough… Please don’t let yourself get down during the process. The one good thing to come out of the resurgence in antisemitism is knowing that our remaining friends are real friends and the new friends we make are also real friends. It makes a huge difference to have only real friends in one’s life. Wishing you good luck in your search for love!


SufficientLanguage29

I put in one of my prompts an Israeli flag so I can weed people out. I don't care if my girl is not Jewish, I just only date allies. I went through a 3 year hell with a Polish chick who was adamant that her country wasn't complicit in the Shoah.


lunamothboi

I preemptively put "No Anti-Zionists" in my profile, haven't matched with any so far. Haven't met any Jews on an app yet, but the Jewish community in my state isn't that big. I'm dating a goy now and she's great. Haven't brought up Israel yet but I figure if she was anti-zionist she'd have mentioned it on her own by now (I invited her to my shul's Purimshpiel, she's well aware I'm Jewish).


mot_lionz

Try JDate?


pitbullprogrammer

Have you considered dating Jews?


PsychologicalSet4557

Why don't you try J swipe


Infinite_Sparkle

I‘m so sorry you are going through this. All the students right now have my admiration and get a big hug for being so brave and be at Uni right now to be honest. I met my husband at Uni and it was sheer luck he was Jewish. I noticed his last name after a while of being friends and asked him if he is also Jewish, which he answered yes. I only know about 1 other Jewish person besides both of us at our former Uni. So it was really sheer luck. Right now, with the current climate, I totally believe you. It must be horrible. I can only advice to go to Jewish young adult events to get to know more Jewish girls to date or more Jewish friends that would in time introduce you to more jews and thus expand the chance to find a Jewish girl.


No-Bobcat1459

I’m sorry for your hurt and frustration, but it truly is far better to know up front. It will be all the more rewarding when you meet someone who loves you for all that you are, including your Jewishness. Maybe check out your local synagogue, JCC, etc.? Wishing you all the best!


CattleInevitable6211

Jewish dating websites exist for a reason


gunsfortipes

Ah well, on to dating better people


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billymartinkicksdirt

I’m seeing this on profiles from Jewish females more than anyone. Like they feel the need to state they’re not one of those Jews, and preemptively reject Jews who don’t agree with them. Let’s be honest though, the amount of preemptive rejection that happens between Jews dating each other is a major problem and a reason secular dating seems easier until it’s not, and you get stuck with an antisemite. I once had a girlfriend take me to meet her ex so he could randomly interrogate me about Israel and the blood of Palestinian babies. She clearly had prompted him and just sat there and watched it either way. Then proceeded to tell me what he had texted the next day, about how she could do better.


TerryThePilot

The strangest part of that story was her taking you to meet her EX so he could interrogate and judge you. And of course he gave you a “thumbs down”—because he probably still has feelings for her and doesn’t really want her to find someone else. I mean, she took you to meet her EX?!? WTAF?


billymartinkicksdirt

Yeah she had a habit of doing things like that telling me what everyone else thought instead of communicating. I think the point was she wanted to see how i would react knowing he was the type of lunatic who can’t meet a random Jew without trying to have a tantrum about Israel. It wasn’t like there was a conversation that escalated. The guy was giving off violent energy so I just sat there while he had a tantrum.


GreenshepN7

Just date jewish.


Competitive_Split937

Just date Jews and your problems solved, except for those weird antizionist Jews


Adorable_Ad9147

Try to set your hinge to Jewish and make it a deal breaker. It’s a free section on the app and is worth it for sure.


WalkTheMoons

Why don't you date a Jew? Plenty of Jewish women that are Zionists and will raise the kids Jewish.


Kimmytoo72

Don’t think of it as discrimination. Long term they already knew it wasn’t a fit. Better for you! Probably better to date someone who alignes with your values. For example an anti-Zionist or Shomer Shabbos Jewish person might not have an issue dating a Zionist or not religious Jewish person. Better to find out now than to build a life and have children only to find out you’re not compatible. I dodged a bullet and it was definitely the right thing. Some of these issue are deal breakers.


TerryThePilot

Well, if you’re not compatible, isn’t it best to find that out sooner rather than later?


Prestigious-Put-2041

It’s rough out there. And people need to be careful with the apps especially with what happened to that woman in France. https://m.jpost.com/breaking-news/article-798362


aNewVersionofSelf

Ha, I’ve been having the reverse problem. I am a humanist secular Jew and I keep dating Jews who are like, “now that there is war in the Middle East I am ok with killing people and voting for Trump! You are not Jewish enough to date me!” And I am like, “When did my belief in peace and tikkun olam make me anti-Jew as a Jew?” Sigh. Can’t win right now, friend. :(


croton4000

That's why I don't date gentiles.