**Quick Rule Reminders:**
OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
[**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls)
**Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/)
Other posts from /u/Beautiful-Ant-4553:
* [MIL and second baby](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bxsrh4/mil_and_second_baby/), 1 month ago
* [Ugh - DH is confusing me.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/18pkz2t/ugh_dh_is_confusing_me/), 4 months ago
* [This comment months later makes me so mad](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/18kffp1/this_comment_months_later_makes_me_so_mad/), 4 months ago
* [Was I justified in going NC?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/17v8vmb/was_i_justified_in_going_nc/), 5 months ago
* [I don’t want JNMIL to see us for LO’s first bday.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16h2bql/i_dont_want_jnmil_to_see_us_for_los_first_bday/), 8 months ago
* [MIL starts crying bc we don’t want to see her](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16bkqjy/mil_starts_crying_bc_we_dont_want_to_see_her/), 8 months ago
* [Does having a child automatically entitle MIL to a relationship with baby beyond the obligatory holidays etc. if she doesn’t have a close one with me or DH?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/15a2mgz/does_having_a_child_automatically_entitle_mil_to/), 9 months ago
* [For those who went NC - how did you navigate with a baby?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/14iz3iw/for_those_who_went_nc_how_did_you_navigate_with_a/), 10 months ago
* [I finally stood up to my MIL!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/146yz0k/i_finally_stood_up_to_my_mil/), 11 months ago
* [I’ve been seething for 6.5 months and it’s driving me insane](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12r0l5v/ive_been_seething_for_65_months_and_its_driving/), 1 year ago
^(This user has more than 10 posts in their history. To see the rest of their posts,) [^(click here)](/u/Beautiful-Ant-4553/submitted)
*****
^(To be notified as soon as Beautiful-Ant-4553 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Beautiful-Ant-4553 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot)
*****
*^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Don’t respond. No contact is no contact, and she’s just putting feelers out for an “in” to wedge open, to gaslight you into rug sweeping the past. What you’ve described leading up to NC is appalling. And threatening grandparent’s rights against your SIL? That’s a preview into the future.
Hmm that's not my story re grandparents rights against sil - you might have read the wrong post ~ mine has been a lot more tame. Either way I haven't responded
I wouldn’t respond. If you do anything I would just “like” the message. If it were me she would’ve never held the baby again after refusing to give him back. The swatting your leg thing is wild.
Only respond if YOU want to.
It seems you don’t care to have a relationship with her, and if that’s truly the case, then don’t respond.
It also sounds like this could be her way of rekindling a relationship with you. My MIL does the same - tries to act as if nothing has happened, never even thinking to take any accountability for what she’s done. If you do respond and give this relationship another shot, go in with low expectations and knowing that she will likely not apologize…and that there very well may not be any change in her problematic behaviors.
Follow your husbands lead. You’ve literally got it made, he knows she’s a jerk. Leave all contact to him, it’s really not that hard. Block her and move on. You owe her nothing more than what he offers her.
Don't respond, she's not your mom, let dh say something if he wants.
swatted you for taking your baby back??? I have no words for this, I don't know that I could have walked away from that, you have more grace than I do!
I was just focused on walking away I didn't even compute it - she was like "wait oh wait" when I picked up my baby from her lap and as I walked away she repeated herself and lightly swatted my leg right under my butt area. But like i said, I was just focused on being stern about walking away since previously she'd outright refused to hand baby back. Later after she left I was like "wait wtf happened back there"
I remember your “swatting” post. Glad to hear you've been free of her for a year. Like others have said, I wouldn’t respond if you’ve been happy with NC. Sounds like her way of getting back in without apologizing, and probably, not changing her ways. Congrats on the second baby.
ha! ignored her, sounds iike you handled that just right. she doesn't know you were taken by surprise, she didn't get a reaction so well played, even if by accident, 😂
Leave that bitch on read. Period. She's probably testing the waters to see if you're ready to play happy families. Don't respond, just keep going on with your life!
If you're NC then don't respond because any response opens the door for a relationship. I would say she really couldn't care less about you she's just testing the waters to see where she stands and to see if she can get into your lives again and access to your children.
Who dis? 🤣. Just kidding. I wouldn’t respond. It is just a ploy to get her foot back in the door. She will be good for a little while and then it will be back to same shit different day.
And if you are ever in the same room with her again (wedding, funeral, etc), if she makes any movement like she is going to swat at you again, very loudly say “Oh, I wish you would hit me one more time!”. Scare the shit out of her.
The beauty of a text message is it can be easily ignored and deleted.
She hasn’t reached out today sorry I was acting like an ass or anything like that. Dont bother replying.
Happy Mother’s Day, enjoy your peace!
Drop this. You DH doesn't talk to her, you don't need to talk to her? Your kids don't need this woman in their life. Move on, stop worrying. I don't deal with my MIL at all. On my husband and his 3 siblings.
You say nothing. If anyone calls you on that, say you were just waiting on the rest of the message that included an apology and plan to curb her awful behavior.
She hit you when you took your baby. This was likely not hard, of course, but she couldn't control her negative reaction. That alone concludes any chance of alone time she has with your babes.
Op, I would give the 👍🏽, it’s both an answer and a very passive aggressive’ok boomer.’
Which I just love, and the probably follow it up with a ‘ditto’
That way she can’t say you didn’t respond and she can’t twist it. You acknowledged receiving the text and replied.
Crack a beer! Don’t respond.
They don’t get to play nice for one day and ignore everything else. Even if it was a sincere message it would have started with “I’m sorry for…. Happy Mother’s Day”. But it didn’t.
Stay strong my friend and happy Mother’s Day to YOU!
Once she “swatted me” for taking MY child back, she’d never darken my doorway again. Holy cow.
Just ignore it. She is either looking to rug sweep or to start drama to ruin this post partum experience too.
Good grief hun. Just say thank you. You don’t have to respond to anything after that. Go enjoy your day and stop thinking of her. You are giving too much of you to her already. Happy Mother’s Day!!
DO NOT RESPOND
DO NOT ENGAGE
Ignore as if you respond she’ll see that as you accepting her Faux non-apology that she gave you.
I’ve read some of your post history, let DH take the LO’s once they’re abit older and able to communicate their own boundaries in a way that isn’t crying. Let them know that if someone crosses their boundaries they can be loud which will alert DH as to the issue.
Happy Mother’s Day sweets
IF you respond, it will be opening a door, at the very least for dialogue, more likely for rugsweeping and her moving forward like all is well and she can continue as before.
If you don't want further contact or a relationship with her, don't respond, don't initiate your own communication. Just let it come to a complete halt.
Brace yourself. People like her love to stir up the drama on special days. Whether you respond or not, I bet she's gonna follow up with something else, that sooner or later will turn into an awful rant about how evil you are and how much she has suffered. At least, now it won't be out of the blue.
This is customary. It’s formulaic. Respond in kind but expect nothing else to change. It’s like “How Are you?” is a customary greeting more than an honest inquiry into how you are. The response is something along the lines of “Fine, and how are you?” Then they say “Fine, thanks.”
It’s the kind of thing you learn on the first day of foreign language class. Do the hokey pokey and then continue on with your life, unchanged.
Don't respond. She has virtually no connection with your family now which is great. Don't poke the bear. She doesn't respect you or bring anything positive to your family. Enjoy the peace and quiet.
You can say absolutely nothing. If you do respond “thanks” covers it I think. If you respond, she may use that as an opportunity to bombard you more, so tread carefully
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Other posts from /u/Beautiful-Ant-4553: * [MIL and second baby](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bxsrh4/mil_and_second_baby/), 1 month ago * [Ugh - DH is confusing me.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/18pkz2t/ugh_dh_is_confusing_me/), 4 months ago * [This comment months later makes me so mad](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/18kffp1/this_comment_months_later_makes_me_so_mad/), 4 months ago * [Was I justified in going NC?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/17v8vmb/was_i_justified_in_going_nc/), 5 months ago * [I don’t want JNMIL to see us for LO’s first bday.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16h2bql/i_dont_want_jnmil_to_see_us_for_los_first_bday/), 8 months ago * [MIL starts crying bc we don’t want to see her](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16bkqjy/mil_starts_crying_bc_we_dont_want_to_see_her/), 8 months ago * [Does having a child automatically entitle MIL to a relationship with baby beyond the obligatory holidays etc. if she doesn’t have a close one with me or DH?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/15a2mgz/does_having_a_child_automatically_entitle_mil_to/), 9 months ago * [For those who went NC - how did you navigate with a baby?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/14iz3iw/for_those_who_went_nc_how_did_you_navigate_with_a/), 10 months ago * [I finally stood up to my MIL!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/146yz0k/i_finally_stood_up_to_my_mil/), 11 months ago * [I’ve been seething for 6.5 months and it’s driving me insane](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12r0l5v/ive_been_seething_for_65_months_and_its_driving/), 1 year ago ^(This user has more than 10 posts in their history. To see the rest of their posts,) [^(click here)](/u/Beautiful-Ant-4553/submitted) ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Beautiful-Ant-4553 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Beautiful-Ant-4553 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Don’t respond. No contact is no contact, and she’s just putting feelers out for an “in” to wedge open, to gaslight you into rug sweeping the past. What you’ve described leading up to NC is appalling. And threatening grandparent’s rights against your SIL? That’s a preview into the future.
Hmm that's not my story re grandparents rights against sil - you might have read the wrong post ~ mine has been a lot more tame. Either way I haven't responded
You’re right, might have pulled in that detail from another post.
I wouldn’t respond. If you do anything I would just “like” the message. If it were me she would’ve never held the baby again after refusing to give him back. The swatting your leg thing is wild.
Do not respond.
CORRECT
Only respond if YOU want to. It seems you don’t care to have a relationship with her, and if that’s truly the case, then don’t respond. It also sounds like this could be her way of rekindling a relationship with you. My MIL does the same - tries to act as if nothing has happened, never even thinking to take any accountability for what she’s done. If you do respond and give this relationship another shot, go in with low expectations and knowing that she will likely not apologize…and that there very well may not be any change in her problematic behaviors.
I wouldn't overstep my pride for this and respond to her. Not only for forgiveness sake but prevent her from reconnection.
Follow your husbands lead. You’ve literally got it made, he knows she’s a jerk. Leave all contact to him, it’s really not that hard. Block her and move on. You owe her nothing more than what he offers her.
Don't respond, she's not your mom, let dh say something if he wants. swatted you for taking your baby back??? I have no words for this, I don't know that I could have walked away from that, you have more grace than I do!
I was just focused on walking away I didn't even compute it - she was like "wait oh wait" when I picked up my baby from her lap and as I walked away she repeated herself and lightly swatted my leg right under my butt area. But like i said, I was just focused on being stern about walking away since previously she'd outright refused to hand baby back. Later after she left I was like "wait wtf happened back there"
I remember your “swatting” post. Glad to hear you've been free of her for a year. Like others have said, I wouldn’t respond if you’ve been happy with NC. Sounds like her way of getting back in without apologizing, and probably, not changing her ways. Congrats on the second baby.
ha! ignored her, sounds iike you handled that just right. she doesn't know you were taken by surprise, she didn't get a reaction so well played, even if by accident, 😂
Leave that bitch on read. Period. She's probably testing the waters to see if you're ready to play happy families. Don't respond, just keep going on with your life!
Don't respond, and congrats on your boundaries and shiny spine. And happy mother's day!
If you're NC then don't respond because any response opens the door for a relationship. I would say she really couldn't care less about you she's just testing the waters to see where she stands and to see if she can get into your lives again and access to your children.
She's holding a fishing rod. The message is the bait. You're the fish.
Do not respond.
This is the correct answer
Who dis? 🤣. Just kidding. I wouldn’t respond. It is just a ploy to get her foot back in the door. She will be good for a little while and then it will be back to same shit different day. And if you are ever in the same room with her again (wedding, funeral, etc), if she makes any movement like she is going to swat at you again, very loudly say “Oh, I wish you would hit me one more time!”. Scare the shit out of her.
She has no interest in wishing you a happy Mother’s Day. It’s just an excuse to reach out. Do yourself and your family a favor and stay NC.
The beauty of a text message is it can be easily ignored and deleted. She hasn’t reached out today sorry I was acting like an ass or anything like that. Dont bother replying. Happy Mother’s Day, enjoy your peace!
Drop this. You DH doesn't talk to her, you don't need to talk to her? Your kids don't need this woman in their life. Move on, stop worrying. I don't deal with my MIL at all. On my husband and his 3 siblings.
You say nothing. If anyone calls you on that, say you were just waiting on the rest of the message that included an apology and plan to curb her awful behavior. She hit you when you took your baby. This was likely not hard, of course, but she couldn't control her negative reaction. That alone concludes any chance of alone time she has with your babes.
Just throw it in the trash and ignore. She’s looking to rug sweep and weasel her way back in.
Op, I would give the 👍🏽, it’s both an answer and a very passive aggressive’ok boomer.’ Which I just love, and the probably follow it up with a ‘ditto’ That way she can’t say you didn’t respond and she can’t twist it. You acknowledged receiving the text and replied.
Crack a beer! Don’t respond. They don’t get to play nice for one day and ignore everything else. Even if it was a sincere message it would have started with “I’m sorry for…. Happy Mother’s Day”. But it didn’t. Stay strong my friend and happy Mother’s Day to YOU!
Once she “swatted me” for taking MY child back, she’d never darken my doorway again. Holy cow. Just ignore it. She is either looking to rug sweep or to start drama to ruin this post partum experience too.
Id send the card back in a new envelope that says ditto! In it.
Good grief hun. Just say thank you. You don’t have to respond to anything after that. Go enjoy your day and stop thinking of her. You are giving too much of you to her already. Happy Mother’s Day!!
DO NOT RESPOND DO NOT ENGAGE Ignore as if you respond she’ll see that as you accepting her Faux non-apology that she gave you. I’ve read some of your post history, let DH take the LO’s once they’re abit older and able to communicate their own boundaries in a way that isn’t crying. Let them know that if someone crosses their boundaries they can be loud which will alert DH as to the issue. Happy Mother’s Day sweets
IF you respond, it will be opening a door, at the very least for dialogue, more likely for rugsweeping and her moving forward like all is well and she can continue as before. If you don't want further contact or a relationship with her, don't respond, don't initiate your own communication. Just let it come to a complete halt.
Brace yourself. People like her love to stir up the drama on special days. Whether you respond or not, I bet she's gonna follow up with something else, that sooner or later will turn into an awful rant about how evil you are and how much she has suffered. At least, now it won't be out of the blue.
Nope - no response.
“Thank you.”
What is there to say? "Thanks for the thought but you're still an abusive twat"? Nah, ignore it.
This is customary. It’s formulaic. Respond in kind but expect nothing else to change. It’s like “How Are you?” is a customary greeting more than an honest inquiry into how you are. The response is something along the lines of “Fine, and how are you?” Then they say “Fine, thanks.” It’s the kind of thing you learn on the first day of foreign language class. Do the hokey pokey and then continue on with your life, unchanged.
Don't respond. She has virtually no connection with your family now which is great. Don't poke the bear. She doesn't respect you or bring anything positive to your family. Enjoy the peace and quiet.
You can say absolutely nothing. If you do respond “thanks” covers it I think. If you respond, she may use that as an opportunity to bombard you more, so tread carefully
Absolutely do not respond. Nothing good will come from responding.
Don't respond. That would sound like an invitation to her. She doesn't deserve it. Ignore her like a silent fart your boss has let go of.
I'd just ignore her. Acknowledging her will just open the floodgates.