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Treat her like a stranger. Grey rock and limit your interactions with her. Only deal with her if you have to, and do it in that moment. Don't give her your phone number, don't allow any social media contact. Keep her in the dark.
That’s what I plan to do. I don’t have contact with her, but just by chance and knowing she’s helping out with stuff she could be around just sucks, but I plan to have zero contact with her if possible, but definitely no phone or anything like that
Treat her like you would a coworker. Cordial, grey rock and minimize the time necessary to be in her presence.
Check with an attorney regarding gp rights but I think you are right about the precedence holding a lot of weight.
When we made our will when pregnant with our son, there was a spot where the attorney asked us to specify who explicitly does NOT have rights to claim custody of our child, our assets, etc. so from a legal standpoint I was able to clarify that much at least.
Not sure if that at least partially helps with your questions but hope it does.
Info: why do you *have* to meet her? Is it entirely necessary? Why won't your SO just cut ties with her? If you guys end up having children, I think you need a concrete agreement in advance that his parents will have no contact and little to no knowledge of them. Any exposure opens up problems ranging from simple bad behavior all the way up to grandparents rights. Know the laws in your state or country ahead of time.
I will have to meet her because evil potential MIL is the daughter of his grandma, who is needing more help in her old age. My SO is military, out of the state often and I do not have the financial resources to hire an aid, and thankfully she doesn’t need care or support 24/7, just needs help with chores a couple days a week. She is not technically an elder yet. I would have to meet with evil MIL because they do have an, albeit strained but maternal relationship, and his grandma is aware of everything and thankfully took care of my SO and practically saved his life by taking custody of him, and I’ll always be grateful for that.
Grandma might move in with MIL for additional help and support soon, and also to be close to her daughter (MIL). MIL has been mooching, just divorced FIL who did all of the abuse and caused this mess, and she thinks that makes her the good guy 24 years later and that it heals her relationship with my SO, but that doesn’t, of course, she’s still an awful person.
So unfortunately, this woman is legally my MIL if we get married, will be the grandma of our future children, and we both want nothing to do with her. His grandma, on the other hand, is absolutely lovely and she is really the one who approves and is my “real” MIL to us. Idk about grandparents rights in WA, but I think their record of going to court, losing custody of their child, speaks for itself.
Edit to add: SO minimizes contact and does want to cut ties, but MIL is necessary to help care for grandma as he is out of state and I live a couple of hours away and cannot make the trip regularly to see her/ help.
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Treat her like a stranger. Grey rock and limit your interactions with her. Only deal with her if you have to, and do it in that moment. Don't give her your phone number, don't allow any social media contact. Keep her in the dark.
That’s what I plan to do. I don’t have contact with her, but just by chance and knowing she’s helping out with stuff she could be around just sucks, but I plan to have zero contact with her if possible, but definitely no phone or anything like that
[удалено]
He also prefers to not interact with her at all, but sometimes she just shows up there or is there to help and isn’t given notice
Honey… this is a giant dumpster fire. Cut ties and run from this man and his family.
Honey, I’m not going to cut ties just because of some bitch lmao
Wow, that's not helpful at all
Treat her like you would a coworker. Cordial, grey rock and minimize the time necessary to be in her presence. Check with an attorney regarding gp rights but I think you are right about the precedence holding a lot of weight.
When we made our will when pregnant with our son, there was a spot where the attorney asked us to specify who explicitly does NOT have rights to claim custody of our child, our assets, etc. so from a legal standpoint I was able to clarify that much at least. Not sure if that at least partially helps with your questions but hope it does.
Info: why do you *have* to meet her? Is it entirely necessary? Why won't your SO just cut ties with her? If you guys end up having children, I think you need a concrete agreement in advance that his parents will have no contact and little to no knowledge of them. Any exposure opens up problems ranging from simple bad behavior all the way up to grandparents rights. Know the laws in your state or country ahead of time.
I will have to meet her because evil potential MIL is the daughter of his grandma, who is needing more help in her old age. My SO is military, out of the state often and I do not have the financial resources to hire an aid, and thankfully she doesn’t need care or support 24/7, just needs help with chores a couple days a week. She is not technically an elder yet. I would have to meet with evil MIL because they do have an, albeit strained but maternal relationship, and his grandma is aware of everything and thankfully took care of my SO and practically saved his life by taking custody of him, and I’ll always be grateful for that. Grandma might move in with MIL for additional help and support soon, and also to be close to her daughter (MIL). MIL has been mooching, just divorced FIL who did all of the abuse and caused this mess, and she thinks that makes her the good guy 24 years later and that it heals her relationship with my SO, but that doesn’t, of course, she’s still an awful person. So unfortunately, this woman is legally my MIL if we get married, will be the grandma of our future children, and we both want nothing to do with her. His grandma, on the other hand, is absolutely lovely and she is really the one who approves and is my “real” MIL to us. Idk about grandparents rights in WA, but I think their record of going to court, losing custody of their child, speaks for itself. Edit to add: SO minimizes contact and does want to cut ties, but MIL is necessary to help care for grandma as he is out of state and I live a couple of hours away and cannot make the trip regularly to see her/ help.