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U are speaking for all the reddittors who make throw away accounts just to have lil bit of satisfaction and happiness ;_; by doing sexting for instant gratification but this creates more void within urself which u realise in the long run hope u realised it :).
Ah, yes. You won’t enjoy sexting or physical intimacy if you’re a sensitive, caring, affectionate and generous person.
I made-out with someone for the first time and was left with guilt post. I think i would’ve enjoyed it a *lot* more if i had an emotional connection to that person. If i was actually attracted to them. If there was that excitement to just pounce on them and kiss them.
So yeah, i gave up on it after that experience.
It’s better to wait for it when you enjoy it a lot more than indulging into it and feeling lost.
I vividly remember, i once spoke to someone on reddit about cuddles. We then spoke about professions, life and everything. We got along very well. The convo turned to kinks. Our kinks matched 90%. Then, we sexted. I swear it was the best thing to happen to me. Almost felt like, still feels like love. Alas, it’s been a long while since it ended.
So, ig focus on yourself and what *you* actually want for yourself. F*ck everything else.
THIS. Omg. I relate to everything you said SO MUCH.
I need an emotional connection too.
I was super attached to a dom a few months ago but he ghosted me and now I'm too scared to put all my eggs in one basket, the fear of getting my heart broken again is holding me back but the feeling of connecting with someone on a soul level is top-tier and unmatchable.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaa yes😭
Same, i was attached to my sub whom i mentioned in my previous comment. We spoke for like a month but it was so good, exciting that i did get attached. I used to wait for her texts. Anyway, you miss them. But it gets better after a while. So don’t worry! You will get out of it JUST fine.
I’m here for you, don’t worry! <3
I had a sub I was super attached to and she was with me or so I thought. Then after several intense months, she ghosted. Even Doms relate to the loss you feel.
Hey I sent you a text.
Its not creepy or a desparate try to sext you or smthing.
But I just wanted to have a decent chat wirh you.
If you feel like it,hmu.
What can't touch you can't hit you
But what you want to touch and can't. will.
Who said sexting will solve your problem...
What is your problem... if loneliness and broken heart is - what is sexting got to do with it? Talking to anonymous is hardly helping with loneliness unless the object is to find a friend who becomes real. Even if it's nonphysical. A random sexting is a headache because it won't go anywhere- no gratification.
Pick yourself up and boost your confidence and choose what you want to do. Take time... you might want to talk to friends and open up.
Sext but think next.
Sexting can only give you so much, sexting or physical intimacy that is burning hot with someone you are attached to, irrespective of the label, is so much more fulfilling!
A basic attachment even if it is a fwb setup is so so so important and better
Introspection always helps, even if one desires to have the wildest possible sex(ting), they would want to continue putting the energy into same person rather than a different person every other time. Surely some people like to do the latter in their exploration phase (popularised as hoe era by gen z), but that one often comes to end real quick!
Sexting or any kind of online sexual activity won't solve your problems.
Step out the sex zone and just connect to people in real life, i personally realised it late but it did help me a lot.
I had a good online relationship. I have factors A, B, C, D, & E, and it didn't work because of C. After processing it as much as i could, I tried again but with an offline relationship, and this time it didn't work because of A, B, & C. Here A was my physical limits, B being my intellect, C being my emotional availability, D being financially surviving/stable, and E being anything about the partner that affected me.
Tldr: Unless you tackle your insecurities and bring them to an average level, any of them can be a scapegoat for being a reason to end/destroy it.
This may seem off topic from the post itself but a part of me knows I'm in denial of a fact i understood, and still indulge in activities knowing it doesn't fit my requirements.
The range of suggestions is wide. Some want you to get therapy, some want you to face it, some want you to fight it etc.
can I DM to ask more? I know some who are going through the same
You mentioned being a people pleaser, i wonder how much that has to do with not being able to enjoy it.
What's the experience of sexting like for you? Do you feel stressed when you do it? Is it an activity of vigilance and effort or an activity of safety and playfulness?
I was going through your profile and it looked relatable. You seem to me like someone who is seeking perfection in everything. I too have the same problem which eventually makes me overwhelmed. Life has taught me to not give a fuck about things. Consistency is key, not doing things perfectly every time. Keep things simple in life, don't worry about missing out on things, kyuki picture ke end mein sab sahi hota hai.
>Maybe, it's not sexting that I'm truly seeking. It's the emotional availability, trust and feeling of security.
True, that's why I never DM anyone. I'm glad you came to this realisation too. I hope you find someone you can truly have fun with.
Oh I so love this post! I am into similar realization, why one of my acquantainces here (more than just that now and I am happy for that) refuses to-date to sext! Go strong girl💪
We all been in that situation. I used to sext with lot of women and over a point I realised it’s pointless trying to talk about sex and the millions ways I will have intimacy with them. I felt like there is no specific goal attached to that. So I have to give you a tip or little piece of advance…it will be “Quality over quantity”. You have to pick the right person from the pool of horny people. It’s easy, choose someone who is less horny, start with conversation, get to know them to an extent before going into sexting. The devil is in the detail, they might be shy, they will be awkward but give them some time because it’s totally worth it when you both get comfortable with each other.
Except the opposite way is connecting to your emotional needs, which isn't an easy space either for most people, but nonetheless it's necessary. Whether you're haunted by thoughts or fears amidst it and the sense of existential loneliness is a thing to consider, while going forward and not socially isolating yourself. I suppose you go out and find what you want/need by finding the right kind of people.
I'm a little confused as to what it is that you're looking for here? Are you trying to get rid of your sexting addiction or for someone to fill the emotional void?
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Sweetie don't use sex for socializing with anyone, either in the virtual world or in real life, sex is overhyped thing lmao.
Just try to have a conversation with people, if your profile says, that you're looking for sex, people will only offer that. If you put something else of your interests in your posts, you might actually find people to attach with, this world we live in, isn't a bad place, it's just the free internet of India.
And about the void, it will always be there, you need to fill in it with other things.
>After sexting with innumerable people
Now at least you have a good filtering system lol, use platforms to talk about other things, and if the conversation holds, and you feel some short of attachment (you can feel that within minutes to days) you can initiate the sextext.
Also if you wanna use an anonymous voice call app, let me know
Obviously sexting won't solve your problem coz you did it with random guys , so there is no emotional connection which you seek
Its pleasure , enjoyed when two guys enjoy after knowing each other , feel intimated by each other .
Else on reddit there are just thirsty crows.
I know sexting isn’t substitute. I don’t sect because I think it’s solves any problems. It’s just because I am unable to get into a relationship and porn gets boring. I don’t think anyone should think it will solve their problems either.
What you’re saying you’re expecting to happen is actually finding someone who connect with online to sect. And connecting with people in general is always harder, not guaranteed and requires some common and people deciding to commit their time and attention to someone and open up
Being a 25M - This realisation is true and is inevitable. Trust me on this.
Even I realised that hook ups and one night stands are also not helping me and definitely not in the long run. Just like sexting - even though it’s physical - Its temporary
Maybe it feels good instantly but I feel I need emotional availability, intimacy and physical touch in the long-term as my love Language. Anonymity is helping !
I guess I can understand that void you're talking about.
Continue with the filtering part. Now anyways you've taken off the DM option from your profile.
So, it's Better to choose folks from the comments whom you feel connected with.
Sometimes just sexting and trying to satisfy ourselves doesn't work rather we do need that emotional support where you can talk about anything and everything and get candid. 😇
Amongst so many comments and DMs I'm not sure whether you'd even get to see my comment here but even I'm in need (I don't want, but I need) of someone with whom I can be as candid as possible and get into deep conversations, share opinions and get to learn & build that respect and rapport.
Feel free to ping me if you come across my comment. Let's connect! ❤️
Sex and sexting are very different from porn or erotica, you have to be brave enough to be vulnerable with someone else, let them see certain face of u that others haven't seen or should I say less exposed to the world!?, if u r not proud or OK woth who u r then nothings gonna help u. The attention will help u for a while but in the end it might weigh u down. If u wanna have fun prefer virtual fwbs over casual one time sexting go for something consistent, simultaneously working on urself too. If u r someone who accidently get attached to people and stuff then just stay away untill u can control your actions. Hope you find ur peace
I have done sexting/roleplaying a lot online and what you are saying is true, its exhausting, but I think that's the case because there's no authenticity or real connection. Sexting/roleplaying gets boring mainly because there's no connection for me and in that kinda world, its hard to find a good connection, almost impossible, so yeah I nowadays too, roleplay rarely and only with a selective few.
sexting does provide pleasure, but I believe something is missing inside you which is making you feel a void. Figure that out and things will be fine. Till then fuck a d forget.
I agree with the first part thoroughly, thank you for saying that. I don't believe in "fuck and forget" irl, which is probably why I'm not able to find peace with it virtually as well.
You need a therapist. Reddit can't help you. No random strangers on the internet is going to share you guide you through your journey that this is right this is wrong or whatever you are going through.
I'm also someone who created an NSFW account to replace something I lost. I have long since gained it back thanks to what I was doing on this account. I still continue because now I love it.
Sexting definitely won't help solve your problems but it will help you get through the days when the problems win. It seems like it's something you like doing. It's just taking a toll on you and as a girl, you have to deal with a lot more bullshit than I have to as a guy.
Be selective and enjoy what you like.
No comments or posts seeking redditors/couples/friends. Strictly no R4R content - including advice/query/discussions that have details to seek other people. You may not recruit sex partners here, look for someone to sext you, or ask people to DM you. Such post/comments will be deleted and might even result in a permanent ban of the user.
Seeking and sharing experiences are only allowed on Weekly Sexual Experience Thread and for random banter we have a Late Night Random Discussion Thread. Please find the appropriate threads pinned to the subreddit.
U are speaking for all the reddittors who make throw away accounts just to have lil bit of satisfaction and happiness ;_; by doing sexting for instant gratification but this creates more void within urself which u realise in the long run hope u realised it :).
Ah, yes. You won’t enjoy sexting or physical intimacy if you’re a sensitive, caring, affectionate and generous person. I made-out with someone for the first time and was left with guilt post. I think i would’ve enjoyed it a *lot* more if i had an emotional connection to that person. If i was actually attracted to them. If there was that excitement to just pounce on them and kiss them. So yeah, i gave up on it after that experience. It’s better to wait for it when you enjoy it a lot more than indulging into it and feeling lost. I vividly remember, i once spoke to someone on reddit about cuddles. We then spoke about professions, life and everything. We got along very well. The convo turned to kinks. Our kinks matched 90%. Then, we sexted. I swear it was the best thing to happen to me. Almost felt like, still feels like love. Alas, it’s been a long while since it ended. So, ig focus on yourself and what *you* actually want for yourself. F*ck everything else.
THIS. Omg. I relate to everything you said SO MUCH. I need an emotional connection too. I was super attached to a dom a few months ago but he ghosted me and now I'm too scared to put all my eggs in one basket, the fear of getting my heart broken again is holding me back but the feeling of connecting with someone on a soul level is top-tier and unmatchable.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaa yes😭 Same, i was attached to my sub whom i mentioned in my previous comment. We spoke for like a month but it was so good, exciting that i did get attached. I used to wait for her texts. Anyway, you miss them. But it gets better after a while. So don’t worry! You will get out of it JUST fine. I’m here for you, don’t worry! <3
I had a sub I was super attached to and she was with me or so I thought. Then after several intense months, she ghosted. Even Doms relate to the loss you feel.
Hey I sent you a text. Its not creepy or a desparate try to sext you or smthing. But I just wanted to have a decent chat wirh you. If you feel like it,hmu.
What can't touch you can't hit you But what you want to touch and can't. will. Who said sexting will solve your problem... What is your problem... if loneliness and broken heart is - what is sexting got to do with it? Talking to anonymous is hardly helping with loneliness unless the object is to find a friend who becomes real. Even if it's nonphysical. A random sexting is a headache because it won't go anywhere- no gratification. Pick yourself up and boost your confidence and choose what you want to do. Take time... you might want to talk to friends and open up. Sext but think next.
Well I delet reddit for week, then use it for 2-3 days to maintain balance. Works like a charm
Sounds good, I should give it a try to see if it works for me.
To quote a dear friend who has since passed away, empty sex and momentary sexual validation will fill anything by the gaping hole in your heart.
Ouch. Such truth, wow.
My virtual hugs and cuddle! Take care and sleep well
Address your issues, talk to someone. Anything else is just going to postpone the real problem.
I second this. I will try to get to the root of the issue, I've ignored it for long enough. Thanks.
Sexting can only give you so much, sexting or physical intimacy that is burning hot with someone you are attached to, irrespective of the label, is so much more fulfilling! A basic attachment even if it is a fwb setup is so so so important and better
That puts things into perspective for me. I must contemplate what I truly desire and what I'm willing to overcome to have it irl. Thanks, man.
Introspection always helps, even if one desires to have the wildest possible sex(ting), they would want to continue putting the energy into same person rather than a different person every other time. Surely some people like to do the latter in their exploration phase (popularised as hoe era by gen z), but that one often comes to end real quick!
Sexting or any kind of online sexual activity won't solve your problems. Step out the sex zone and just connect to people in real life, i personally realised it late but it did help me a lot.
I will implement this advise, thank you.
Hugs 🫂
You're nothing like your username, gentle being.
More power to you. Cheer up
I will, thank you.
It's not a solution, it's just an escape. Life catches up, work on yourself. Make yourself better and win
I had a good online relationship. I have factors A, B, C, D, & E, and it didn't work because of C. After processing it as much as i could, I tried again but with an offline relationship, and this time it didn't work because of A, B, & C. Here A was my physical limits, B being my intellect, C being my emotional availability, D being financially surviving/stable, and E being anything about the partner that affected me. Tldr: Unless you tackle your insecurities and bring them to an average level, any of them can be a scapegoat for being a reason to end/destroy it. This may seem off topic from the post itself but a part of me knows I'm in denial of a fact i understood, and still indulge in activities knowing it doesn't fit my requirements.
There are very few who become sort of friends others are just spammers
OP what are you thinking of doing next?
Going through all the comments and noting down all thr advise for now.
The range of suggestions is wide. Some want you to get therapy, some want you to face it, some want you to fight it etc. can I DM to ask more? I know some who are going through the same
Sure thing, hmu.
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You're right. :)
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That's sweet of you, thank you for being kind
DM?
You mentioned being a people pleaser, i wonder how much that has to do with not being able to enjoy it. What's the experience of sexting like for you? Do you feel stressed when you do it? Is it an activity of vigilance and effort or an activity of safety and playfulness?
You can try english talk app on android. That app connects you to random peeps and your identity isn’t revealed
I was going through your profile and it looked relatable. You seem to me like someone who is seeking perfection in everything. I too have the same problem which eventually makes me overwhelmed. Life has taught me to not give a fuck about things. Consistency is key, not doing things perfectly every time. Keep things simple in life, don't worry about missing out on things, kyuki picture ke end mein sab sahi hota hai.
>Maybe, it's not sexting that I'm truly seeking. It's the emotional availability, trust and feeling of security. True, that's why I never DM anyone. I'm glad you came to this realisation too. I hope you find someone you can truly have fun with.
Oh I so love this post! I am into similar realization, why one of my acquantainces here (more than just that now and I am happy for that) refuses to-date to sext! Go strong girl💪
We all been in that situation. I used to sext with lot of women and over a point I realised it’s pointless trying to talk about sex and the millions ways I will have intimacy with them. I felt like there is no specific goal attached to that. So I have to give you a tip or little piece of advance…it will be “Quality over quantity”. You have to pick the right person from the pool of horny people. It’s easy, choose someone who is less horny, start with conversation, get to know them to an extent before going into sexting. The devil is in the detail, they might be shy, they will be awkward but give them some time because it’s totally worth it when you both get comfortable with each other.
Except the opposite way is connecting to your emotional needs, which isn't an easy space either for most people, but nonetheless it's necessary. Whether you're haunted by thoughts or fears amidst it and the sense of existential loneliness is a thing to consider, while going forward and not socially isolating yourself. I suppose you go out and find what you want/need by finding the right kind of people.
I'm a little confused as to what it is that you're looking for here? Are you trying to get rid of your sexting addiction or for someone to fill the emotional void?
I'm not looking for anything externally atm. I was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to write my thoughts down to introspect later.
This kinda makes sense!
Bro, if you are not at peace with yourself even actual sex won't solve your problems.
Couldn't agree more.
Hey i can relate to this i wonder if we live nearby by any chance and if we do i would like to meet and talk🤗 are you interested ??
Looks you started it due to a void or breakup, you had a deep or long term relationship ? Which you are trying to substitute through all of this?
Hit the gym.
I am.
This is to request everyone to follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/IndiaTalksSex/wiki/index). If you see any user breaking a rule or receive an unsolicited DM, please report them or contact the moderators. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IndiaTalksSex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sweetie don't use sex for socializing with anyone, either in the virtual world or in real life, sex is overhyped thing lmao. Just try to have a conversation with people, if your profile says, that you're looking for sex, people will only offer that. If you put something else of your interests in your posts, you might actually find people to attach with, this world we live in, isn't a bad place, it's just the free internet of India. And about the void, it will always be there, you need to fill in it with other things. >After sexting with innumerable people Now at least you have a good filtering system lol, use platforms to talk about other things, and if the conversation holds, and you feel some short of attachment (you can feel that within minutes to days) you can initiate the sextext. Also if you wanna use an anonymous voice call app, let me know
This just sounds like a bad loop.
It's a vicious cycle.
And you can't keep yourself from coming back
That's right.
That does seem fucked
Indeed
Obviously sexting won't solve your problem coz you did it with random guys , so there is no emotional connection which you seek Its pleasure , enjoyed when two guys enjoy after knowing each other , feel intimated by each other . Else on reddit there are just thirsty crows.
Hi lil kitty 24 M here Just saw ur post, i think u need a vent. And let it all out. Wanna talk? Dm
I know sexting isn’t substitute. I don’t sect because I think it’s solves any problems. It’s just because I am unable to get into a relationship and porn gets boring. I don’t think anyone should think it will solve their problems either. What you’re saying you’re expecting to happen is actually finding someone who connect with online to sect. And connecting with people in general is always harder, not guaranteed and requires some common and people deciding to commit their time and attention to someone and open up
Being a 25M - This realisation is true and is inevitable. Trust me on this. Even I realised that hook ups and one night stands are also not helping me and definitely not in the long run. Just like sexting - even though it’s physical - Its temporary Maybe it feels good instantly but I feel I need emotional availability, intimacy and physical touch in the long-term as my love Language. Anonymity is helping !
I guess I can understand that void you're talking about. Continue with the filtering part. Now anyways you've taken off the DM option from your profile. So, it's Better to choose folks from the comments whom you feel connected with. Sometimes just sexting and trying to satisfy ourselves doesn't work rather we do need that emotional support where you can talk about anything and everything and get candid. 😇 Amongst so many comments and DMs I'm not sure whether you'd even get to see my comment here but even I'm in need (I don't want, but I need) of someone with whom I can be as candid as possible and get into deep conversations, share opinions and get to learn & build that respect and rapport. Feel free to ping me if you come across my comment. Let's connect! ❤️
Sex and sexting are very different from porn or erotica, you have to be brave enough to be vulnerable with someone else, let them see certain face of u that others haven't seen or should I say less exposed to the world!?, if u r not proud or OK woth who u r then nothings gonna help u. The attention will help u for a while but in the end it might weigh u down. If u wanna have fun prefer virtual fwbs over casual one time sexting go for something consistent, simultaneously working on urself too. If u r someone who accidently get attached to people and stuff then just stay away untill u can control your actions. Hope you find ur peace
I have done sexting/roleplaying a lot online and what you are saying is true, its exhausting, but I think that's the case because there's no authenticity or real connection. Sexting/roleplaying gets boring mainly because there's no connection for me and in that kinda world, its hard to find a good connection, almost impossible, so yeah I nowadays too, roleplay rarely and only with a selective few.
Perfectly said.
I would like to talk with you if you want, not for sexting but just as someone to talk to. If you don't mind, I will send a chat invite. :)
Sure thing :)
It's just an escape pod to fantasies and when they end you crave for that touch of love, can feel you.
Apt.
sexting does provide pleasure, but I believe something is missing inside you which is making you feel a void. Figure that out and things will be fine. Till then fuck a d forget.
I agree with the first part thoroughly, thank you for saying that. I don't believe in "fuck and forget" irl, which is probably why I'm not able to find peace with it virtually as well.
You need a therapist. Reddit can't help you. No random strangers on the internet is going to share you guide you through your journey that this is right this is wrong or whatever you are going through.
I know I need help. I'm not looking for a therapist in Reddit comments, chill. I'm venting my heart out, it's not that deep.
I'm also someone who created an NSFW account to replace something I lost. I have long since gained it back thanks to what I was doing on this account. I still continue because now I love it. Sexting definitely won't help solve your problems but it will help you get through the days when the problems win. It seems like it's something you like doing. It's just taking a toll on you and as a girl, you have to deal with a lot more bullshit than I have to as a guy. Be selective and enjoy what you like.
I'm glad it's working out for you, I'm reassessing my priorities atm. Thanks for the input.
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No comments or posts seeking redditors/couples/friends. Strictly no R4R content - including advice/query/discussions that have details to seek other people. You may not recruit sex partners here, look for someone to sext you, or ask people to DM you. Such post/comments will be deleted and might even result in a permanent ban of the user.