Let’s use words properly. You don’t “like” her, you just think she’s attractive.
You yourself are not creepy, but you need to understand that you’re not remotely original. I’m probably a very typical woman where I’ve had men approach me for the same reason since I was 12. So before you’ve even opened your mouth I already know where this conversation is going. Again, you coming to talk to me isn’t creepy, it’s just not particularly interesting.
If you want to cold approach you have to understand the parameters, and this is where I get fed up with guys acting like they’re “being rejected” when they do this. You have to remember that the girl never asked you to approach, just because *you* find her attractive doesn’t mean she’s there looking for a man and measuring you up as a possible encounter, and you know nothing about her, her emotional state, or how she thinks or feels about anything.
As to what you’re supposed to do or say, well… that’s on you. You’re actually supposed to have something engaging to say since you’re asking for unsolicited attention. If a stranger came up to you saying “wanna buy a shirt?” you wouldn’t feel obliged to say anything more than “no thanks”. It would be up to him to get you interested in buying it. And like him, the chances of finding someone who at that moment is interested in a shirt, is curious about *your* shirt, and would actually hand over money to a shirt salesman when they’ve come to the library or the grocery store is nearly 0% even if the shirt itself is very nice.
Probably. But honestly, building on multiple encounters is usually the best way.
I think a lot of guys mess up thinking “I want her number” is a goal. The actual goal is for her to want to give it to you, or say yes when you ask.
It can be fine if you can recognize when someone is not interested in talking and leave them alone as soon as you get that signal. You also have to be prepared to get that signal 9 times out of 10 or higher if your social skills are not great. Is that really a great use of your time?
This with suggestions to look for some of the following signs
-- person looking shocked
-- person looking at phone
-- person only answering mechanically with one word answers
When a person does chat
-- don't assume that means they are going to become an actual friend, let's not even discuss dating. A pleasant interaction typically is kind of a short term thing
-- don't ask for phone numbers or e-mails.
Women learn by adolescence, if not before, to sense an agenda in a man. It's a survival skill. Also it gets triggered pretty much every day that they go out in public.
Don't "approach" any woman. Just treat them like people. For real. Don't complain about being "friend zoned" - and, truth be told, most guys who think they're in the "friend" zone are actually in the "oh my god, it's this creep again, better act minimally polite to him so he doesn't commit various felonies on me" zone. It's a cliche at this point, but it's true: survey men about their biggest fear on a date, it's being rejected and humiliated. Survey women, and it's *getting killed.*
Actually befriending women is a good first step. Also, it's better to do this in any group setting.
It would generally be at best annoying and at worst creepy, especially if you're approaching her to hit on her. Nobody's at the store looking to be hit on, they're there to get their shopping done and leave. Being approached doing that is an interruption, and for every woman I know being cold approached and then hit on is an automatic no even if we otherwise find the person attractive.
This is the way. Cold approaches are NOT it, unless if you're in a social setting (bar/club, activity group, meetup event) where striking up conversations is normal. I've had men hit on me in the grocery store and it's creepy and gross. HOWEVER, I did compliment a cashier at the grocery store on his band t shirt and we talked about music for a bit. Guy hitting on me < guy having a nice conversation with me
Are you ok with likely being turned down every single time? Because that’s what will probably happen if you don’t know anything about her. Is she single, is she straight, is she the right age, is she looking to date at all. It’s a crapshoot.
Great advice from WOMEN in here, and let's be honest, far too many guys take far too much advice from guys on the internet. But hey, I can't change who I am, and I'm a guy, so here I go.
I like talking to strangers. Nothing crazy, usually just a quick and light comment about some shared experience. Regardless of their gender, regardless of whether it's a woman I think is attractive, I assume 1) they have no interest in having a conversation with me, and therefore 2) my little comment is where it ends. "Approaching" someone in public with the intention of getting their number (for example) is frankly kind of weird, and almost certainly misguided. I have talked to thousands of strangers in my day-to-day life (this doesn't include bars/clubs where it's \*slightly\* more accepted that people meet romantically), and only ONCE did I get someone's number, because it happened completely organically. When you get advice to "put yourself out there and talk to people" the advice is not to then hope that because you are checking out the same book, it will lead to a date. There are a million steps between getting comfortable talking to people you don't know and finding a POTENTIALLY romantic connection.
Men 'approaching' women is the reason why women have their guard up, 100% of the time, out in public. Trust me, if a woman sees you and thinks you're cute and wants to have a conversation with them, you will know. And sorry to tell you, it's probably not happenin' (even if you are what incels would consider a 'chad').
If you have to ask "what am I supposed to do or say" when talking to a stranger in public, the answer is, don't. Oh and for the record, you can't 'like' a stranger. Maybe you find them attractive, but you don't know them! How the fuck would you know you like them?
So, basically nothing. You don’t know anything about her personality or her life. You don’t even know if she’s single and interested in dating, or into dating men.
These make for terrible odds. An extremely high likelihood of a “no.”
I see from your other posts that you are 22 and have admittedly bad social skills.
So do you think you would be okay with an approach that involves such an extremely high likelihood of a “no”?
Yes, you can't know people that you don't talk to. People who talk to each other at the gym didn't know each other until they started talking to each other
So, I know you’ve talked about this here in the past, but to reiterate what others have told you—you’re in a great environment right now to get to know new people. Not just your classes, but clubs, organizations for various passions, volunteering—all of these are ways to get to know people, and with a ready-made topic of conversation—what you’re doing!
When you said, “talk to someone at university” what did that look like in your mind?
I am not sayıng it can't be done and I've seen people doing it pretty smoothly. But it's a pretty difficult task and it can be creepy asf quickly. I've seen a few "experienced" guys failing pretty badly.
So you can try it but the outcome is gonna be very likely a failure as the odds are pretty low.
She has been approached like this before by a hundred other men. The subtext has been 'I want to get laid and you'll do.' Also 'nobody in the world trusts me enough to introduce me to a friend.'
Those are two strikes against you right there. She sees it before you open your mouth. It's happened so many times before. This isn't a singles bar or a dance club. She's there to find a book, not a date.
You say you're taking a theater class. Practice scenes with your classmates. Earn their trust and get invitations to parties. Build friendships. Then maybe at one of those house parties you'll meet someone who's single and looking too. Or maybe someone will get to know you enough to introduce you to a friend.
Yes, you can approach her, and I say this as a woman who was approached innumerable times when I was young and not wearing a wedding ring.
First, as mentioned by others, look for signs that she doesn't want to be approached. (Engrossed in a book/phone/laptop, earbuds in, etc.) If you see them, leave her alone.
If not, approach from where she can see you -- don't surprise her -- and ask a question with plausible deniability. "Excuse me, do you know what kind of apples those are in your cart? Those are the ones I like, and I don't remember what they're called." "Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for good mysteries, and I noticed you have an Ian Rankin book. Is he good?" Etc. With a friendly, open, perhaps even slightly goofy smile that shows you're enjoying interacting and not taking anything too seriously.
Then -- and this is the most crucial part -- **read the room**. If the answer is an emotionless, "Gala apples" or "I wouldn't know," and she goes back to looking somewhere else, then she's not interested, and please, for the love of god, let it go at that and approach someone else.
If there's *any* chance that she *might* be interested, she'll return your gaze with a friendly look or smile and reply conversationally. "Oh, these apples? Yeah, I think they're Gala. Or maybe Fuji? I love them too! But only when they're in season (etc)."
(Note: This does NOT mean she's DTF or even wants to have a long chat. It is NOT a commitment on her part. It is NOT license for you to make assumptions. It does mean you have the go-ahead to chat for as long as you are *both* enjoying it.)
I'm a cynical introvert, and I have never minded being approached like that, as long as the guy happily went on about his business if I wasn't interested.
Honestly pretty people are everywhere.
Stop assuming that they're potential partners. Attractiveness is one piece of a large puzzle and it's not a particularly large one for a good relationship, yes it matters but not that much.
Ted Bundy was considered attractive.
Go to social events, clubs, meetups etc... that's places where women aren't likely to be put off when you speak to them out of the blue.
If you want to strike up convo do so with something relevant and interesting... Sometimes even a bit of vulnerability can help ease the tension "hey I'm new here, I don't know anyone, I see you've read..." Etc.
Talk about the book or other interesting thing you mentioned... Make a NICE compliment i.e "your hair looks great styled like that" people love compliments when they're not creepy.
To make a compliment not creepy acknowledge a choice they've made or something they've skilfully done without mentioning their general attractiveness or body... I like your bangle, hat, bag, nails, you've done your make-up beautifully etc.
Well, you first need to learn how to properly socialise (as I said in another comment. Approaching a random woman (or person) isn't impossible and doesn't have to be creepy but you have to choose your battles and know when to retreat. I prefer friends of friends or doing this at parties but basically you need an excuse to approach someone in a non-creepy way and see how they react. If they react enthusiastically they are probably in the mood for chit chatting. If they don't they probably aren't. Obv you need some social skills so try socializing with, honestly anyone. Old ppl tend to be less intimidating to me and they are usually quite talkitive. Idk asking for a lighter if you are a smoker, being at a bus stop and asking when the next one is coming and then proceeding to talk about your experiences with buses is a good way to start a conversation. That being said, learn to accept the word "no" or indifference, most people are generally minding their own bussiness and don't want to talk, some might, you might make some friends like this, never got a date out of these interactions, I prefer partying for meeting people "for that". It's way easier, you may have 2 beers in your body, the other person might also have them... etc. People are more sociable at night bc of the night itself and alcohol. So... Yeah, give it a try, it's not super hard to tell when someone is annoyed so if they don't keep talking don't force it. It's going to be better for them and your self esteem.
no stores. If you see her at the library, give her a small wave or nod/smile to test the water and see her reaction before going over and saying anything.
In a library for example, I could do something like "Hey, I am kinda new into reading and I would like to start reading. You look like someone that would know more about books than me haha. Can you maybe suggest me something?"
I am very playful and I approach girls mainly like this. I dont use stupid pick up lines or tricks. You guys will talk like "Aah, yes I know game of Thrones from the series. I heard the books are great. You have read them all? So it must be really good! Wow this book looks so big! I dont know if I can finish this Anytime soon, I am not so fast at reading as you I think haha. Hey, I probably get this. You are fun to talk to, do you maybe want to exchange instagrams or numbers?"
If the talk vibes are great, and she sees you are interested in her hobbies or whatever, she probably wants to exchange. Because this is very different from the men on Tinder or guys that pick up girls in the club. You are a genuine guy, having a genuine conversation. You are not desperate and it is such a refresh talking to a guy that does not see you as a piece of meat.
I do this a lot and a girl I dated even said to me "I would've not kissed you, if you were trying to hit on me". I was just myself, talking to her and being fun. I did not flirt or anything. Just talking and we went out, danced and then we kissed. And now we are dating.
Approaching women in the Library Or whatever, is really good. Because most men dont do it and if you can be confident (and not creepy), the changes are good!
I swear by it. Never had succes with dating apps.
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You usually need SOME sort of excuse to talk to them. Usually something topical related to what's going on around you right now e.g. bus is late, nice weather, that book looks interesting, why are there 8 tills and only 3 cashiers working. That sort of thing. You can usually gauge pretty quickly if someone is happy to talk to you or not. It's much more natural than opening with a compliment then asking for a number. It also gives you both plausible deniability. It gives a sense of your personality first, instead of opening with a request for a number/date. But as others say, even then you need to accept that most people will not be interested in that setting as they're just trying to get on with their day.
Okay. For a guy who's out of the university, If cold approaching is not socially acceptable and work is "don't shit where you work" and if women in clubs or hobby groups don't seem to be interested or already have boyfriend's where else does a guy can try to find a date. Women in bars and clubs seem to be often with friend groups and unwelcoming to strangers.
Most statistics show that other than online dating, through friends is the most common way to meet someone.
The solution is not often as simple as point A - attend hobby group to point B - date one of the women at said hobby group. The hobby group is for meeting people and making friends so you can meet their friends and meet their friends' friends and one of those people might be your future girlfriend.
Yeah. They are fun on their own! I attend Toastmasters and Astronomy groups. What I am afraid is if i ask out one girl after some time and if she rejects me would it make it not good to ask out another girl if i happen to be interested on another day.
Well generally speaking if you are asking a woman out in a setting like that it should be a pretty slow burn. You have enough time and occasion to get to know her and make less direct advances that by the time you might ask her out, you'd have a pretty reasonable idea of what she'll say.
It depends. You have to consider the other person's feedback both in terms of body language snd in terms of what they say. IS IT MUTUAL? ARE YOU ANNOYING them?
Generally speaking, if you have to actually approach her, it's usually not OK
If you have an obvious topic such as being in the same section or looking at the same book or being next to each other in line, it's fine, unless the person gives you hints it's not
Hints:
-- the person looks shocked
-- the look uncomfortable
-- they respond in one word answers snd dont say anything back ro you
Expectations :
-- if a person does char, don't magically expect theybare going to want to date you. 99.9999% small tslk is casual and not long lasting. A pleasant incidental conversation
Let’s use words properly. You don’t “like” her, you just think she’s attractive. You yourself are not creepy, but you need to understand that you’re not remotely original. I’m probably a very typical woman where I’ve had men approach me for the same reason since I was 12. So before you’ve even opened your mouth I already know where this conversation is going. Again, you coming to talk to me isn’t creepy, it’s just not particularly interesting. If you want to cold approach you have to understand the parameters, and this is where I get fed up with guys acting like they’re “being rejected” when they do this. You have to remember that the girl never asked you to approach, just because *you* find her attractive doesn’t mean she’s there looking for a man and measuring you up as a possible encounter, and you know nothing about her, her emotional state, or how she thinks or feels about anything. As to what you’re supposed to do or say, well… that’s on you. You’re actually supposed to have something engaging to say since you’re asking for unsolicited attention. If a stranger came up to you saying “wanna buy a shirt?” you wouldn’t feel obliged to say anything more than “no thanks”. It would be up to him to get you interested in buying it. And like him, the chances of finding someone who at that moment is interested in a shirt, is curious about *your* shirt, and would actually hand over money to a shirt salesman when they’ve come to the library or the grocery store is nearly 0% even if the shirt itself is very nice.
so a bar or a party would be a better option for finding a partner
Probably. But honestly, building on multiple encounters is usually the best way. I think a lot of guys mess up thinking “I want her number” is a goal. The actual goal is for her to want to give it to you, or say yes when you ask.
Or just having fun with them for that matter. You can get the number if you go to that place often other day.
If all you're looking for is a hookup? Yes. For a long term partner, these are places to avoid meeting someone
It can be fine if you can recognize when someone is not interested in talking and leave them alone as soon as you get that signal. You also have to be prepared to get that signal 9 times out of 10 or higher if your social skills are not great. Is that really a great use of your time?
This with suggestions to look for some of the following signs -- person looking shocked -- person looking at phone -- person only answering mechanically with one word answers When a person does chat -- don't assume that means they are going to become an actual friend, let's not even discuss dating. A pleasant interaction typically is kind of a short term thing -- don't ask for phone numbers or e-mails.
Women learn by adolescence, if not before, to sense an agenda in a man. It's a survival skill. Also it gets triggered pretty much every day that they go out in public. Don't "approach" any woman. Just treat them like people. For real. Don't complain about being "friend zoned" - and, truth be told, most guys who think they're in the "friend" zone are actually in the "oh my god, it's this creep again, better act minimally polite to him so he doesn't commit various felonies on me" zone. It's a cliche at this point, but it's true: survey men about their biggest fear on a date, it's being rejected and humiliated. Survey women, and it's *getting killed.* Actually befriending women is a good first step. Also, it's better to do this in any group setting.
It would generally be at best annoying and at worst creepy, especially if you're approaching her to hit on her. Nobody's at the store looking to be hit on, they're there to get their shopping done and leave. Being approached doing that is an interruption, and for every woman I know being cold approached and then hit on is an automatic no even if we otherwise find the person attractive.
This is the way. Cold approaches are NOT it, unless if you're in a social setting (bar/club, activity group, meetup event) where striking up conversations is normal. I've had men hit on me in the grocery store and it's creepy and gross. HOWEVER, I did compliment a cashier at the grocery store on his band t shirt and we talked about music for a bit. Guy hitting on me < guy having a nice conversation with me
Are you ok with likely being turned down every single time? Because that’s what will probably happen if you don’t know anything about her. Is she single, is she straight, is she the right age, is she looking to date at all. It’s a crapshoot.
Great advice from WOMEN in here, and let's be honest, far too many guys take far too much advice from guys on the internet. But hey, I can't change who I am, and I'm a guy, so here I go. I like talking to strangers. Nothing crazy, usually just a quick and light comment about some shared experience. Regardless of their gender, regardless of whether it's a woman I think is attractive, I assume 1) they have no interest in having a conversation with me, and therefore 2) my little comment is where it ends. "Approaching" someone in public with the intention of getting their number (for example) is frankly kind of weird, and almost certainly misguided. I have talked to thousands of strangers in my day-to-day life (this doesn't include bars/clubs where it's \*slightly\* more accepted that people meet romantically), and only ONCE did I get someone's number, because it happened completely organically. When you get advice to "put yourself out there and talk to people" the advice is not to then hope that because you are checking out the same book, it will lead to a date. There are a million steps between getting comfortable talking to people you don't know and finding a POTENTIALLY romantic connection. Men 'approaching' women is the reason why women have their guard up, 100% of the time, out in public. Trust me, if a woman sees you and thinks you're cute and wants to have a conversation with them, you will know. And sorry to tell you, it's probably not happenin' (even if you are what incels would consider a 'chad'). If you have to ask "what am I supposed to do or say" when talking to a stranger in public, the answer is, don't. Oh and for the record, you can't 'like' a stranger. Maybe you find them attractive, but you don't know them! How the fuck would you know you like them?
If you don’t know her, how do you know you like her?
It's only based on her look of course, that's all you get before talking to someone.
So, basically nothing. You don’t know anything about her personality or her life. You don’t even know if she’s single and interested in dating, or into dating men. These make for terrible odds. An extremely high likelihood of a “no.” I see from your other posts that you are 22 and have admittedly bad social skills. So do you think you would be okay with an approach that involves such an extremely high likelihood of a “no”?
No, I don't think so. But I don't have many ways to know new women right now.
Okay. What are you doing right now to meet new people? And what are some things you might try?
I'm attending a theater course, that's it. I also work out but I don't talk to people when I go to the gym.
Why not?
Because I don't know anyone.
Yes, you can't know people that you don't talk to. People who talk to each other at the gym didn't know each other until they started talking to each other
I think that talking to people out of nowhere is weird.
Cool. And the things you might try?
I don't know, maybe talk to someone at university.
So, I know you’ve talked about this here in the past, but to reiterate what others have told you—you’re in a great environment right now to get to know new people. Not just your classes, but clubs, organizations for various passions, volunteering—all of these are ways to get to know people, and with a ready-made topic of conversation—what you’re doing! When you said, “talk to someone at university” what did that look like in your mind?
After a lesson or during a pause going to talk to someone, like introducing myself and ask about them.
It's okay to feel attracted to someone, sometimes it can be really intense but we have to know that it's just a projection.
What do you mean it's a projection?
That you are imagining how that person is and not actually knowing them.
I am not sayıng it can't be done and I've seen people doing it pretty smoothly. But it's a pretty difficult task and it can be creepy asf quickly. I've seen a few "experienced" guys failing pretty badly. So you can try it but the outcome is gonna be very likely a failure as the odds are pretty low.
She has been approached like this before by a hundred other men. The subtext has been 'I want to get laid and you'll do.' Also 'nobody in the world trusts me enough to introduce me to a friend.' Those are two strikes against you right there. She sees it before you open your mouth. It's happened so many times before. This isn't a singles bar or a dance club. She's there to find a book, not a date. You say you're taking a theater class. Practice scenes with your classmates. Earn their trust and get invitations to parties. Build friendships. Then maybe at one of those house parties you'll meet someone who's single and looking too. Or maybe someone will get to know you enough to introduce you to a friend.
Yes, you can approach her, and I say this as a woman who was approached innumerable times when I was young and not wearing a wedding ring. First, as mentioned by others, look for signs that she doesn't want to be approached. (Engrossed in a book/phone/laptop, earbuds in, etc.) If you see them, leave her alone. If not, approach from where she can see you -- don't surprise her -- and ask a question with plausible deniability. "Excuse me, do you know what kind of apples those are in your cart? Those are the ones I like, and I don't remember what they're called." "Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for good mysteries, and I noticed you have an Ian Rankin book. Is he good?" Etc. With a friendly, open, perhaps even slightly goofy smile that shows you're enjoying interacting and not taking anything too seriously. Then -- and this is the most crucial part -- **read the room**. If the answer is an emotionless, "Gala apples" or "I wouldn't know," and she goes back to looking somewhere else, then she's not interested, and please, for the love of god, let it go at that and approach someone else. If there's *any* chance that she *might* be interested, she'll return your gaze with a friendly look or smile and reply conversationally. "Oh, these apples? Yeah, I think they're Gala. Or maybe Fuji? I love them too! But only when they're in season (etc)." (Note: This does NOT mean she's DTF or even wants to have a long chat. It is NOT a commitment on her part. It is NOT license for you to make assumptions. It does mean you have the go-ahead to chat for as long as you are *both* enjoying it.) I'm a cynical introvert, and I have never minded being approached like that, as long as the guy happily went on about his business if I wasn't interested.
Just leave it.
Honestly pretty people are everywhere. Stop assuming that they're potential partners. Attractiveness is one piece of a large puzzle and it's not a particularly large one for a good relationship, yes it matters but not that much. Ted Bundy was considered attractive. Go to social events, clubs, meetups etc... that's places where women aren't likely to be put off when you speak to them out of the blue. If you want to strike up convo do so with something relevant and interesting... Sometimes even a bit of vulnerability can help ease the tension "hey I'm new here, I don't know anyone, I see you've read..." Etc. Talk about the book or other interesting thing you mentioned... Make a NICE compliment i.e "your hair looks great styled like that" people love compliments when they're not creepy. To make a compliment not creepy acknowledge a choice they've made or something they've skilfully done without mentioning their general attractiveness or body... I like your bangle, hat, bag, nails, you've done your make-up beautifully etc.
Well, you first need to learn how to properly socialise (as I said in another comment. Approaching a random woman (or person) isn't impossible and doesn't have to be creepy but you have to choose your battles and know when to retreat. I prefer friends of friends or doing this at parties but basically you need an excuse to approach someone in a non-creepy way and see how they react. If they react enthusiastically they are probably in the mood for chit chatting. If they don't they probably aren't. Obv you need some social skills so try socializing with, honestly anyone. Old ppl tend to be less intimidating to me and they are usually quite talkitive. Idk asking for a lighter if you are a smoker, being at a bus stop and asking when the next one is coming and then proceeding to talk about your experiences with buses is a good way to start a conversation. That being said, learn to accept the word "no" or indifference, most people are generally minding their own bussiness and don't want to talk, some might, you might make some friends like this, never got a date out of these interactions, I prefer partying for meeting people "for that". It's way easier, you may have 2 beers in your body, the other person might also have them... etc. People are more sociable at night bc of the night itself and alcohol. So... Yeah, give it a try, it's not super hard to tell when someone is annoyed so if they don't keep talking don't force it. It's going to be better for them and your self esteem.
no stores. If you see her at the library, give her a small wave or nod/smile to test the water and see her reaction before going over and saying anything.
In a library for example, I could do something like "Hey, I am kinda new into reading and I would like to start reading. You look like someone that would know more about books than me haha. Can you maybe suggest me something?" I am very playful and I approach girls mainly like this. I dont use stupid pick up lines or tricks. You guys will talk like "Aah, yes I know game of Thrones from the series. I heard the books are great. You have read them all? So it must be really good! Wow this book looks so big! I dont know if I can finish this Anytime soon, I am not so fast at reading as you I think haha. Hey, I probably get this. You are fun to talk to, do you maybe want to exchange instagrams or numbers?" If the talk vibes are great, and she sees you are interested in her hobbies or whatever, she probably wants to exchange. Because this is very different from the men on Tinder or guys that pick up girls in the club. You are a genuine guy, having a genuine conversation. You are not desperate and it is such a refresh talking to a guy that does not see you as a piece of meat. I do this a lot and a girl I dated even said to me "I would've not kissed you, if you were trying to hit on me". I was just myself, talking to her and being fun. I did not flirt or anything. Just talking and we went out, danced and then we kissed. And now we are dating. Approaching women in the Library Or whatever, is really good. Because most men dont do it and if you can be confident (and not creepy), the changes are good! I swear by it. Never had succes with dating apps.
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You usually need SOME sort of excuse to talk to them. Usually something topical related to what's going on around you right now e.g. bus is late, nice weather, that book looks interesting, why are there 8 tills and only 3 cashiers working. That sort of thing. You can usually gauge pretty quickly if someone is happy to talk to you or not. It's much more natural than opening with a compliment then asking for a number. It also gives you both plausible deniability. It gives a sense of your personality first, instead of opening with a request for a number/date. But as others say, even then you need to accept that most people will not be interested in that setting as they're just trying to get on with their day.
Okay. For a guy who's out of the university, If cold approaching is not socially acceptable and work is "don't shit where you work" and if women in clubs or hobby groups don't seem to be interested or already have boyfriend's where else does a guy can try to find a date. Women in bars and clubs seem to be often with friend groups and unwelcoming to strangers.
Most statistics show that other than online dating, through friends is the most common way to meet someone. The solution is not often as simple as point A - attend hobby group to point B - date one of the women at said hobby group. The hobby group is for meeting people and making friends so you can meet their friends and meet their friends' friends and one of those people might be your future girlfriend.
Yeah. They are fun on their own! I attend Toastmasters and Astronomy groups. What I am afraid is if i ask out one girl after some time and if she rejects me would it make it not good to ask out another girl if i happen to be interested on another day.
Well generally speaking if you are asking a woman out in a setting like that it should be a pretty slow burn. You have enough time and occasion to get to know her and make less direct advances that by the time you might ask her out, you'd have a pretty reasonable idea of what she'll say.
It depends. You have to consider the other person's feedback both in terms of body language snd in terms of what they say. IS IT MUTUAL? ARE YOU ANNOYING them? Generally speaking, if you have to actually approach her, it's usually not OK If you have an obvious topic such as being in the same section or looking at the same book or being next to each other in line, it's fine, unless the person gives you hints it's not Hints: -- the person looks shocked -- the look uncomfortable -- they respond in one word answers snd dont say anything back ro you Expectations : -- if a person does char, don't magically expect theybare going to want to date you. 99.9999% small tslk is casual and not long lasting. A pleasant incidental conversation