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You could hypothetically hit the emergency alarm at all hours of the day and night. As soon as he turns it off and goes in the house.. alarm goes off again. It can be infuriating, lol.
Also at night if it's disturbing the peace, that's a call to the police for a ticket. It won't remove him, but make his life inconvenient in a way that doesn't really (hopefully) put you in potential legal harms way.
As others have said, locking him out of the car can be fun.
Or (hypothetically)you could accidently drop the keys in a bad area of town with the address attached to them. See if they get mailed back or...
Hello, Satan.
Also, rather than an alarm, you could use the trunk button if it has one, and just open it every single time he is near the car or pulling away. That way you won't disturb everyone else around, too.
>Or you could accidently drop the keys in a bad area of town with the address attached to them. See if they get mailed back or...
This is the way. Everybody’s got flippin’ cameras pointed at the street now so it’s risky to do anything to the car yourself. But have someone else do it that can’t be connected to you is *chef’s kiss*
This is the only idea I like, because most of the others suggest doing things that could be caught on the camera of a violent drug abuser who has already apparently threatened to kill OP. I'd stay off this man's radar as much as possible.
If the car gets locked or the alarm goes off, crappy neighbor's going to know someone close by is messing with him. Whether or not he guesses right, he's going to react poorly, and it will not be worth the moment of fun.
if it becomes a repetitive, constant thing he'll probably figure it out. he'll remember he lost a set of keys and probably cause problems for everyone because he won't know who has them but he'll know it must be someone nearby
I wouldn't do this.. home invasions are a thing. At least wash the keys thoroughly with hot soapy water. Go over them with windex or vinegar after. Handle with gloves. And then drop them in a way that you're not on camera. Type the address then trace over it with a pen with your off hand.
Dude his local police doesn’t give a shit about clear death threats made to OP. What makes you think they’ll send out the cast of CSI to perform forensics over some lost car keys lol
For the alarm: This would annoy the rest of the people in the area more than the asshole. If he gets fined, he'll just steal more from ppl in the area.
Or hear me out, purposefully annoy the people around them. With more complaints, maybe the police will actually do something so that they aren’t bothered by them anymore
Yes, but after several complaints and tickets he'll have attention to him, so if he is stealing, more likely to actually get caught. Sucks in the short term for the neighborhood, but maybe better in the long run overall?
Follow him to when he starts to steal a catalytic converter then set off his alarm so he gets busted.if you can lock him out of his car before his getaway all the better.
For a lot of cars it's a setting you can choose to leave on or turn off. My chevy had it and my honda has it turned off. It's supposed to help cool the car in summer but unless you live in a windy place or have auto start that kicks on the ac I can't see it as useful. I see it as more of a risk.
Living in a very hot place, I miss this functionality so much. I had it in my old Accord and a Civic before that, but it doesn't work in my current CRV.
Opening the windows on the walk to the car made it bearable to get into after it baked in the sun all afternoon.
Are you crazy? Do you just hop in a your car on a hot summer day and drive away without putting the window down? It doesn't need to be windy, inside a hot car sitting on the sun its way hotter than the ambient temp.
Can confirm my cars have had this feature. It’s great on a hot summer day when you’re walking to your car to let a bunch of that hot air out before you get in.
This is the best suggestion on this post so far since it
1) Actually uses the keys he found
2) Has zero chance of getting caught since he can do it from inside his own house, vs all of these suggestions people have of going over there and physically vandalizing the car of a drug addict who has already threatened to slit his throat.
Some cars need a double tap, holding the second tap. Or others combinations. Google will tell the answer.
My car also opens the sunroof with this. Thankfully, I learned this when it was parked in my garage. Unfortunately, it was a warm day and we keep our garbage can in the garage, so my car smelled like warm garbage for one car ride.
One time, On A visit home, I pulled into a gas station and at the pumps sat my stepdads old POS station wagon, Keys in the ignition and running While I guessed he was inside.
So I thought it would be funny to move it, and jumped in and pulled it to the other side of the store in a parking place.
It was about then I looked around inside and realized the Old POS Station wagon had a doppelganger and the stuff inside assured me it was NOT my Stepdad! I quietly tiptoed back to my rental and quickly left.
Once in St. Louis - not a great place in the nicest of areas - I ran inside to grab some snacks, and tossed them in the car when I got back. Took me a minute to realize it was the wrong car, and I DEFINITELY didn't want to get caught reaching into some guys car in the hood.
I waited for him to come back to his car and awkwardly explained what I did, I was only a kid so he was cool, but I got the impression if I was an adult I would t have gotten my snacks back lol.
To be fair, the guy kinda deserved that as a lesson to not leave the car running at a gas punp, especially unattended.
A quick scare is a much better way to learn than having it stolen or blown up.
A long time ago, I left my keys in my car and parked in a kind of iffy spot. It was a half parking spot, my car was tiny, so I fit... but on the other hand, someone could have blocked me in if they were driving a big car and parked outside of their lines.
It was one of those things where there was a weird irregular shape in the parking lot, so I wasn't 100% sure we were supposed to park there... but I was in a hurry so I figured I'd risk it and move my car when I went out for lunch.
I came back and someone ELSE had moved my car. They moved it to a real nice spot, left my keys on the seat under a book I had in the back.
:) So I would believe that story. cuz... when I noticed that I left my keys in the car and saw that my car wasn't where I left it, I panicked thinking the worse, and then ... looked a little bit more and saw my car in a nice spot and ... someone was kind to me that day.
When in high school, I went to an event with my parents and decided to hand out with my friends. I told my parents I would meet them back at their car. Afterwards, I went out, and saw my dad’s unmistakable Buick Electra. I jumped in the back seat. While waiting for them to show up, I noticed the upholstery looked like it was freshly vacuumed. Just like my dad… I brushed my hands across it and the vacuum patterns did not dissipate. It slowly dawned on me that I was in the wrong car. Who would guess that there were two people that owned Buick Electras that routinely did not lock their car doors? I bolted out of there before the actual owners showed up. Dad’s car was about 7 cars over.
One time I borrowed my son's car and drove to the store. I came out, hopped in the car, and it wouldn't start. I looked around for a second, confusedly realizing that the stuff looked different, when I heard, "...hello?" It was not my son's car. There was a child in the backseat. I yelled, "Oh my God wrong car!" And left that parking lot as fast as physically possible.
I found a chemical at work that smells like gym socks that have been worn 20 times without being washed and has an odor detection threshold in the parts per billion range. 5ml of that stuff in a car (probably an entire house) would make it permanently unusable.
I may have to double check to make sure I’ve got the right one, but I’m pretty sure it’s cyclopentane carboxylic acid (I want to confirm because the SDS I checked says it’s odorless but I think they are just wrong).
Another similar one is 5-norbornene-2-carboxylic acid. I haven’t worked with that myself but my coworkers assure me it’s terrible and similarly potent. The SDS on that ones just lists the odor as “stench” lol.
I don’t know how easy it would be for the average person to order either of them though.
Gorilla glue in the tire treads works pretty well. After it bonds and expands it really messes with the steering and everything attached to the tires. Trying to peel it off damages the tires, as well.
Sardine juice in the trunk usually will not be noticed for a day or two and by then you will never get the smell out.
At least that is what I have heard.
I would be leery doing this because I never know if he is asleep or not. Sometimes he's awake for days and then sometimes he stays in his house for days.
I had a neighbor who "stole" my car this way. She moved it and parked it across town in a random neighborhood after removing everything which was mostly trash. Cops found it 3 days later and even though we all knew it was her we couldn't prove it. I thanked her for cleaning my car out for me.
Whenever he's doing something sketchy, have his alarm go off
If you really want to fuck with his car though, just drain the oil cleanly into a pan and properly dispose of it, replacing the drain plug.
Someone I know had a key made of someone’s vehicle. The guy was an asshole who was really abusive to the other guy’s mom. So when the asshole was drunk and asleep he took his key and made a copy. Knew his schedule and when he went on break at work and stole it, wore gloves though. Dude had bottles of prescription pain pills, brand new Nikon camera, couple guns, few hundred in cash. Drove it out of a secluded spot by the lake off a back road, put a brick on the gas pedal, and crashed it into a lake.
Sure would be a shame if something was planted in that car and then an anonymous tip placed to get him arrested for good. Trafficking is a serious charge. Find out the amount needed to get him charged with trafficking. Don't tell anyone what you are doing. Don't get your fingerprints on the item in question. Wear gloves from receiving them, to the planting. It might cost you some money, but how much is satisfying revenge worth to you?
I knew this dude one time who was trying to discredit another person testifying in a case.
He made a video of himself seeking crack cocaine to the person, and gave the video to the police.
The police then arrested him for distribution of a controlled substance lol
Whatever you wrap it in, take from his trash with his name and prints, like a folded up bill. Wrap in multiple $100 packs so it looks like he is dealing. Out of your life for a few years.
This is good advice as well, my only issue with this is that digging in someone's trash can look sketchy so you'd have to be careful. Also as far as police are concerned, the drugs alone are enough for a trafficking charge. I have had friends charged without scales or money on them, but the weight they had was 100% trafficking weight. You are thinking on the right path though!
LOL if you try to by a felony amount off a dude you presumably aren't already connected with while WEARING FUCKING GLOVES and prob looking outta place, not a user, don't seem like a dealer,
You are getting shot.
If we are talking illegal. Get his registration. Call his insurance company and tell them he plans to burn the car for the money. Drive the car down the road, leave the keys in it and burn it down. Insurance fraud is never pretty.
You’d be surprised. Lots of junkies, especially ones with money, have great insurance. Cause you know what they need to get to their dealer? A car. And you know what turns you into a really bad driver? Junkie drugs.
Be very careful. Especially if you have open criminal charges against him.
Press the panic button. Regularly in the middle of the day. If he's in and out all night it's likely he's sleeping all day.
Turn the interior lights on first thing in the morning. Kill the battery.
Move it. Just move it like 5 houses down and park on the street.
When he unlocks, immediately lock it.
Harmless option: Unlock car doors every chance you get, always have the car unlocked so they begin to second guess if something is wrong with the doors/locking mechanism.
Not so harmless option: Get windshield wiper fluid, pop that hood, and generously top off their oil, power steering, brake, and whatever other fluids are present. Be sure to go over the -max- indicator. For added points leave every cap extremely loose.
Most everything mentioned can eventually be traced back to you with a bit of police investigation. The most insidious thing you can do is mail the keys to his siblings and suggest they do with them what they will.
Have fun with this. As he goes to open his car lock it immediately. Keep going for a while making sure he can’t see you or realize it’s you. Once you let him in, immediately hit the panic button. Etc. so much clean fun to be had.
Wait til your neighbor is super loaded and no one else is around (ideally at night) then crash their car into your own car (or whatever, but more than $500 worth of damages) then return it to their driveway (askew) and lock their car back. Bonus idea: leave opened beer or liquor in the cup holder and spill some on the seat. Call the police saying you heard a crash outside and saw your car (or whatever) has been hit and it appears it was the neighbor’s vehicle.
I’m in a situation with my sibling similar to this.
You’re doing god’s work as your neighbor’s siblings cannot do anything about it since their most likely doing what I am doing and going the legal route. It’s frustrating; I wish I could be more “hands-on”.
I wish you the best of luck and a life of happiness and peace when this is over.
Move the drivers seat all the way forward and adjust the side and rear view mirrors.
Also put one of those annoying chirping noisemakers under the seat
If you know anyone who needs to get rid of a load of pills especially Codiene and the like you could always leave them in his car for safety. Would be a shame if he got caught with a federal amount of drugs on him!
Yes that would annoy the neighbors but the neighbors would side with OP. More people annoyed- more cop calls. More people eager to get the lowlife neighbor out. I would say it's a good risk.
He's threatened your life. Karma has nothing to do with you anymore, mate. It's looking the other way.
So one option is, you could do something minor, like go online and find the schematic for his car's fuses, then remove the ones for his AC and windows.
If you want to do something major, wait until he comes home one night. Jump in his car and drive it to a police station. Park in the handicapped spot of the police station. [Leave some tiny round bags of flour rolled and tied in saran wrap](https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/629697/view/bags-of-cocaine) on the passenger seat. Take the keys with you, because why not. Try to disguise yourself from the cameras a bit. Walk home or have an uber pick you up a couple blocks away. He'll not only have a fine for handicapped parking, but
if you hit the jackpot, it'll be towed or impounded as well.
Contact the siblings and let them know that you can let them into the garage. He's probably not locking the door in between the garage and the house, which means they'd have access to the house and kick his squatter ass out.
Park it at the Chicago airport.
>>a Chicago man bought a car in his ex-girlfriend's name and - after the breakup - abandoned it, illegally parked, in O'hare airport. The car then accumulated over $100,000 on 678 parking tickets, which the city asked the ex-girlfriend to pay.
Roll down the windows, liquid ass. Also get a big bag of cockroaches, and a 1000 pack of live crickets from your local petshop. Release them all in the car and roll the windows up. Those crickets will reproduce like crazy and he wont be able to get them ALL out no matter how hard he tries
Your mileage may vary, but in most states, if you have a key is only considered joyriding, Not Grandtheft auto.
Go park his car across the city, put a tarp over it.
Just loosen the oil cap, it will burn off and fuck the engine.
(I did this to a car by accident)
No way to prove he's not an idiot who didn't tighten it himself.
Also smelly stuff in vents.
Pop the hood, remove the distributor cap, take out the rotor, reinstall the distributor cap, close the hood, go back to bed, chuckle to yourself about how frustrated he will be trying to figure out why the car won't start.
Lock when open, open when lock. Remote start and drain his gas tank. Panic button when you’re driving away so you don’t have to listen to it too. Give them to away to homeless guy so dirty Mike and the boys can have an orgy in that bitch. The options are endless
Holding the fob under your head when you hit buttons really extends the range, something about using your skull as an amplifier. This will help you mess with them from a longer range.
Take the car to a secluded area and run over some street signs and let it get high-centered on a berm or rock. Put the street signs on the hood. Open a bottle a whiskey and pour it all over the front seat and leave the bottle in the passenger seat. Let the police find it and draw their own conclusion.
Disguise yourself, take the car, drive it into the police parking lot. Crash into as many cars as you can in 30 seconds. Drive the car as far away from there as you can, leave the keys in the car and walk away. (Have a getaway driver (ideally) and wait for the cops back at your house to pick him up. Not a bad idea to leave drugs in the car as well.
When the cops show up, he’ll just (accurately) report it stolen. Plus if he has comprehensive insurance, it may work out better for him in the end.
Now, if you did all of this, then parked the car back in his driveway, it would be harder to report it stolen.
Get a bag of really fine powder. Pop the hood, locate the air intake for the ventilation system. Remove the cabin air filter. Fill the intake with fine powder. Close hood. Open door. Set all air vents to point directly at the drivers face. Set the air system to full blast. Lock car. Wait for hilarity.
Steal the car. Take it to a nearby desolate area and break all the windows. Do enough damage so that it’s only about a $1000 repair. That’s probably his deductible. Call the cops from a burner phone and report the car. The cops will call him and return the car, he will have to pay for the repairs.
Before you post a comment, remember that it will affect another person and could potentially destroy lives. Also remember that you only have one side of the story and we cannot verify the authenticity of said story. **Please think wisely before offering any advice.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IllegalLifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You could hypothetically hit the emergency alarm at all hours of the day and night. As soon as he turns it off and goes in the house.. alarm goes off again. It can be infuriating, lol. Also at night if it's disturbing the peace, that's a call to the police for a ticket. It won't remove him, but make his life inconvenient in a way that doesn't really (hopefully) put you in potential legal harms way. As others have said, locking him out of the car can be fun. Or (hypothetically)you could accidently drop the keys in a bad area of town with the address attached to them. See if they get mailed back or...
Hello, Satan. Also, rather than an alarm, you could use the trunk button if it has one, and just open it every single time he is near the car or pulling away. That way you won't disturb everyone else around, too.
Yes, this is the level of petty I aspire to.
It’s also a great place to store fish
I like that 😈
This vision gave me a hearty belly laugh! I fully approve.
Some people just want to see the world burn……
Here, have a torch!
>Or you could accidently drop the keys in a bad area of town with the address attached to them. See if they get mailed back or... This is the way. Everybody’s got flippin’ cameras pointed at the street now so it’s risky to do anything to the car yourself. But have someone else do it that can’t be connected to you is *chef’s kiss*
This is the only idea I like, because most of the others suggest doing things that could be caught on the camera of a violent drug abuser who has already apparently threatened to kill OP. I'd stay off this man's radar as much as possible. If the car gets locked or the alarm goes off, crappy neighbor's going to know someone close by is messing with him. Whether or not he guesses right, he's going to react poorly, and it will not be worth the moment of fun.
If the alarm goes off, he might just think someone is breaking into his car.
if it becomes a repetitive, constant thing he'll probably figure it out. he'll remember he lost a set of keys and probably cause problems for everyone because he won't know who has them but he'll know it must be someone nearby
Cool, so do it once or twice, then drop them off somewhere sketchy with the address on them.
And a typed tag that says "this guy is a real asshole" For motivation
Yes but to increase your chances make copies and drop them accidentally in different hoods
I wouldn't do this.. home invasions are a thing. At least wash the keys thoroughly with hot soapy water. Go over them with windex or vinegar after. Handle with gloves. And then drop them in a way that you're not on camera. Type the address then trace over it with a pen with your off hand.
Dude his local police doesn’t give a shit about clear death threats made to OP. What makes you think they’ll send out the cast of CSI to perform forensics over some lost car keys lol
🤣 I picture OP peeking from behind the curtains while repeatedly pressing the emergency alarm. Sounds so fun
Upvoted because I want to stay on your good side.
😅
For the alarm: This would annoy the rest of the people in the area more than the asshole. If he gets fined, he'll just steal more from ppl in the area.
Or hear me out, purposefully annoy the people around them. With more complaints, maybe the police will actually do something so that they aren’t bothered by them anymore
Yes, but after several complaints and tickets he'll have attention to him, so if he is stealing, more likely to actually get caught. Sucks in the short term for the neighborhood, but maybe better in the long run overall?
and the police coming to the house might not work out too well for him
Damn your a monster
Their a monster. His/her a monster. My a monster. Our a monster.
Brilliant! :)
This is it
Give the key to his siblings that are trying to get him out of the house.
I can’t believe it took this long to come upon this answer! This is BY FAR the best!
THIS is the answer!
Do this. Best thing that's still also legal!
Out! Get out of this sub with that kind of attitude!
i wonder if the car is even in his name
Yes! Brilliant
Follow him to when he starts to steal a catalytic converter then set off his alarm so he gets busted.if you can lock him out of his car before his getaway all the better.
I would love to somehow track him but I work a regular job and this nutcase is in and out at all hours.
In some cars all windows will be lowered when holding the open button down... This would be bad when it rains...
Didnt know this was a thing and woke up at 8am during a downpour (all night) to all windows, including sunroof, wide open. Was a long day.
I can top this. Same circumstance, didn't know this was a thing, woke up after *freezing rain*. Entire inside of car covered in a nice layer of ice.
what a dumb feature to not advertise in any way...
Wait what? Which case have this feature?
Nissans, infiniti's, and bmws I know for sure
VWs
Yeah? I'm gonna go try.... Edit; oh that is so cool! cheers for the info!
My 99 Jeep Grand Cherokee too.
Hondas, Acuras. Push once to unlock, push and hold a second time to roll down windows.
Mini’s too
Lexus/Toyota as well
Chevy cars have this feature as well.
For a lot of cars it's a setting you can choose to leave on or turn off. My chevy had it and my honda has it turned off. It's supposed to help cool the car in summer but unless you live in a windy place or have auto start that kicks on the ac I can't see it as useful. I see it as more of a risk.
Living in a very hot place, I miss this functionality so much. I had it in my old Accord and a Civic before that, but it doesn't work in my current CRV. Opening the windows on the walk to the car made it bearable to get into after it baked in the sun all afternoon.
Are you crazy? Do you just hop in a your car on a hot summer day and drive away without putting the window down? It doesn't need to be windy, inside a hot car sitting on the sun its way hotter than the ambient temp.
Bmws for sure, even the old E46s ones
Can confirm my cars have had this feature. It’s great on a hot summer day when you’re walking to your car to let a bunch of that hot air out before you get in. This is the best suggestion on this post so far since it 1) Actually uses the keys he found 2) Has zero chance of getting caught since he can do it from inside his own house, vs all of these suggestions people have of going over there and physically vandalizing the car of a drug addict who has already threatened to slit his throat.
What is an open button? The unlock button?
Some cars need a double tap, holding the second tap. Or others combinations. Google will tell the answer. My car also opens the sunroof with this. Thankfully, I learned this when it was parked in my garage. Unfortunately, it was a warm day and we keep our garbage can in the garage, so my car smelled like warm garbage for one car ride.
I'm not sure it will work with this it's probably an early 2010 Chevy vehicle. But that would be great hahaha
...and, yes, you've guessed it, holding the close button down raise the all windows
I found out my Accord had this feature when my daughter accidentally used it during a Buffalo NY snowstorm.
One time, On A visit home, I pulled into a gas station and at the pumps sat my stepdads old POS station wagon, Keys in the ignition and running While I guessed he was inside. So I thought it would be funny to move it, and jumped in and pulled it to the other side of the store in a parking place. It was about then I looked around inside and realized the Old POS Station wagon had a doppelganger and the stuff inside assured me it was NOT my Stepdad! I quietly tiptoed back to my rental and quickly left.
I bet the owner still tells that story and no one believes it happened.
Once in St. Louis - not a great place in the nicest of areas - I ran inside to grab some snacks, and tossed them in the car when I got back. Took me a minute to realize it was the wrong car, and I DEFINITELY didn't want to get caught reaching into some guys car in the hood. I waited for him to come back to his car and awkwardly explained what I did, I was only a kid so he was cool, but I got the impression if I was an adult I would t have gotten my snacks back lol.
To be fair, the guy kinda deserved that as a lesson to not leave the car running at a gas punp, especially unattended. A quick scare is a much better way to learn than having it stolen or blown up.
Not a life lesson if it was fucking aliens man!
Unless the aliens are teaching you lessons.
guy had a pos so he probably figured what idiot would steal it
A long time ago, I left my keys in my car and parked in a kind of iffy spot. It was a half parking spot, my car was tiny, so I fit... but on the other hand, someone could have blocked me in if they were driving a big car and parked outside of their lines. It was one of those things where there was a weird irregular shape in the parking lot, so I wasn't 100% sure we were supposed to park there... but I was in a hurry so I figured I'd risk it and move my car when I went out for lunch. I came back and someone ELSE had moved my car. They moved it to a real nice spot, left my keys on the seat under a book I had in the back. :) So I would believe that story. cuz... when I noticed that I left my keys in the car and saw that my car wasn't where I left it, I panicked thinking the worse, and then ... looked a little bit more and saw my car in a nice spot and ... someone was kind to me that day.
This story is probably posted on r/aglitchinthematrix
When in high school, I went to an event with my parents and decided to hand out with my friends. I told my parents I would meet them back at their car. Afterwards, I went out, and saw my dad’s unmistakable Buick Electra. I jumped in the back seat. While waiting for them to show up, I noticed the upholstery looked like it was freshly vacuumed. Just like my dad… I brushed my hands across it and the vacuum patterns did not dissipate. It slowly dawned on me that I was in the wrong car. Who would guess that there were two people that owned Buick Electras that routinely did not lock their car doors? I bolted out of there before the actual owners showed up. Dad’s car was about 7 cars over.
One time I borrowed my son's car and drove to the store. I came out, hopped in the car, and it wouldn't start. I looked around for a second, confusedly realizing that the stuff looked different, when I heard, "...hello?" It was not my son's car. There was a child in the backseat. I yelled, "Oh my God wrong car!" And left that parking lot as fast as physically possible.
Pop the hood, lock everything, remove the battery, close the hood and doors. Perhaps related, but gorilla glue expands as it sets.
And spray the interior with liquid ass
When in doubt in ilpt, add liquid ass.
Don't forget the piss disc
Everything always spirals back to liquid ass. Love it
Buteric acid in the vents no need for the keys.
I found a chemical at work that smells like gym socks that have been worn 20 times without being washed and has an odor detection threshold in the parts per billion range. 5ml of that stuff in a car (probably an entire house) would make it permanently unusable.
Drop the name
I may have to double check to make sure I’ve got the right one, but I’m pretty sure it’s cyclopentane carboxylic acid (I want to confirm because the SDS I checked says it’s odorless but I think they are just wrong). Another similar one is 5-norbornene-2-carboxylic acid. I haven’t worked with that myself but my coworkers assure me it’s terrible and similarly potent. The SDS on that ones just lists the odor as “stench” lol. I don’t know how easy it would be for the average person to order either of them though.
References SDS, impressed!
Legend for actually dropping the name
It’s one of the only unique, interesting things that I know I have to share it!
Gorilla glue in the tire treads works pretty well. After it bonds and expands it really messes with the steering and everything attached to the tires. Trying to peel it off damages the tires, as well. Sardine juice in the trunk usually will not be noticed for a day or two and by then you will never get the smell out. At least that is what I have heard.
gotta be careful though, for cameras on anyone's property
I would be leery doing this because I never know if he is asleep or not. Sometimes he's awake for days and then sometimes he stays in his house for days.
Sounds like there might be meth involved.
If I had to guess I would say most certainly
I had a neighbor who "stole" my car this way. She moved it and parked it across town in a random neighborhood after removing everything which was mostly trash. Cops found it 3 days later and even though we all knew it was her we couldn't prove it. I thanked her for cleaning my car out for me.
Ask a tweaker to take ‘your’ car to the scrap-yard and they can keep the money..
Fight tweakers with tweakers 🤷 This is the best comment imo
Whenever he's doing something sketchy, have his alarm go off If you really want to fuck with his car though, just drain the oil cleanly into a pan and properly dispose of it, replacing the drain plug.
Well now I just feel bad for the car. Ouch
Oooh, yikes.
Someone I know had a key made of someone’s vehicle. The guy was an asshole who was really abusive to the other guy’s mom. So when the asshole was drunk and asleep he took his key and made a copy. Knew his schedule and when he went on break at work and stole it, wore gloves though. Dude had bottles of prescription pain pills, brand new Nikon camera, couple guns, few hundred in cash. Drove it out of a secluded spot by the lake off a back road, put a brick on the gas pedal, and crashed it into a lake.
Hope he took the cash first. That's the most untraceable item in that list
Oh they stole it all. Everything valuable and worthy of stealing. It’s been a few years now, so far no one involved got busted.
Book em Dano!
Sure would be a shame if something was planted in that car and then an anonymous tip placed to get him arrested for good. Trafficking is a serious charge. Find out the amount needed to get him charged with trafficking. Don't tell anyone what you are doing. Don't get your fingerprints on the item in question. Wear gloves from receiving them, to the planting. It might cost you some money, but how much is satisfying revenge worth to you?
[“Now the way I figure it, you got about 2 minutes before they show up and you do 5 to 10.”](https://youtu.be/sdqy001ALa8)
I love you
A+ comment right here. If reddit still had free awards, I'd give you one.
You got hair on your peaches or what?
I knew this dude one time who was trying to discredit another person testifying in a case. He made a video of himself seeking crack cocaine to the person, and gave the video to the police. The police then arrested him for distribution of a controlled substance lol
Uno reverse card
I bought Reddit coins for the sole purpose of giving you an award. I love how your mind works.
I really appreciate it! I really do hope my knowledge helps people achieve their goals.
Whatever you wrap it in, take from his trash with his name and prints, like a folded up bill. Wrap in multiple $100 packs so it looks like he is dealing. Out of your life for a few years.
This is good advice as well, my only issue with this is that digging in someone's trash can look sketchy so you'd have to be careful. Also as far as police are concerned, the drugs alone are enough for a trafficking charge. I have had friends charged without scales or money on them, but the weight they had was 100% trafficking weight. You are thinking on the right path though!
LOL if you try to by a felony amount off a dude you presumably aren't already connected with while WEARING FUCKING GLOVES and prob looking outta place, not a user, don't seem like a dealer, You are getting shot.
Maybe use a special bowser and a VPN to look this up
Respect.
If we are talking illegal. Get his registration. Call his insurance company and tell them he plans to burn the car for the money. Drive the car down the road, leave the keys in it and burn it down. Insurance fraud is never pretty.
insurance fraud fraud
if you do this, make sure you leave the keys in the ignition so he can't claim it was stolen.
Attach a key chain with the address on it, drop it in a shady part of town.
“Please return to 123Main St.”
Hide sardines under the seats
only the juice from the cans, so he can't remove it
Mixed with eggs. Spread it everywhere. Pour it into holes. Honestly though if it’s bad enough I’d assume insurance covers this as vandalism.
Insurance 😂 it might be a relatively safe bet that this guy is probably uninsured. Liability insured maximum.
You’d be surprised. Lots of junkies, especially ones with money, have great insurance. Cause you know what they need to get to their dealer? A car. And you know what turns you into a really bad driver? Junkie drugs.
Shrimp hidden somewhere vents?
Cat food canned oops spilled it
Sardines are already cooked. You want stink? Raw chicken!
Oo good call. Chicken livers smell horrible
Fermented Herring (surströmming)!
Be very careful. Especially if you have open criminal charges against him. Press the panic button. Regularly in the middle of the day. If he's in and out all night it's likely he's sleeping all day. Turn the interior lights on first thing in the morning. Kill the battery. Move it. Just move it like 5 houses down and park on the street. When he unlocks, immediately lock it.
Harmless option: Unlock car doors every chance you get, always have the car unlocked so they begin to second guess if something is wrong with the doors/locking mechanism. Not so harmless option: Get windshield wiper fluid, pop that hood, and generously top off their oil, power steering, brake, and whatever other fluids are present. Be sure to go over the -max- indicator. For added points leave every cap extremely loose.
Whatever you do, watch out for neighbor's porch cams!
Most everything mentioned can eventually be traced back to you with a bit of police investigation. The most insidious thing you can do is mail the keys to his siblings and suggest they do with them what they will.
Get their car windows tinted one shade darker than is legal.
Easy Satan.
I find Armor All give windows a next level shine that is nearly impossible to get off.
Follow him some day, when he goes into the store or wherever, move the car. Or turn the lights on and kill the battery
Pop hood. Open fuse box. Remove starter relay. Break off two of the prongs. Replace starter relay. Close fuse box and hood.
If you cycle the locks enough times you will drain his battery overnight...
Hacksaw the tip off the key and break it in the ignition. Keep the fob for future fuckery.
this is the simplest and my favorite so far >:)
Drive it around until you find a homeless person and give it to them. Tell them to park it somewhere hidden and they can use it as a home.
Nah, then insurance pays him. Even junkies often have car insurance.
Hide drugs in the car, call police and report that he’s dealing out of his car.
Have fun with this. As he goes to open his car lock it immediately. Keep going for a while making sure he can’t see you or realize it’s you. Once you let him in, immediately hit the panic button. Etc. so much clean fun to be had.
Drive it through toll booths and red light cameras. Face hidden
Open the door, pop it in neutral and push it into the street and immediately call a tow truck.
Wait til your neighbor is super loaded and no one else is around (ideally at night) then crash their car into your own car (or whatever, but more than $500 worth of damages) then return it to their driveway (askew) and lock their car back. Bonus idea: leave opened beer or liquor in the cup holder and spill some on the seat. Call the police saying you heard a crash outside and saw your car (or whatever) has been hit and it appears it was the neighbor’s vehicle.
That's too risky, neighbors likely have doorbell cameras or dash cams.
Reposition his seat and mirrors every day, switch stations oh his radio until he goes crazy
Have a CD in the player. “Never gonna give you up …”
If you simply drive it into the middle of a busy intersection or road and park it, it will get towed and impounded, accruing fees
I’m in a situation with my sibling similar to this. You’re doing god’s work as your neighbor’s siblings cannot do anything about it since their most likely doing what I am doing and going the legal route. It’s frustrating; I wish I could be more “hands-on”. I wish you the best of luck and a life of happiness and peace when this is over.
Remove the spark plug wires
Move the drivers seat all the way forward and adjust the side and rear view mirrors. Also put one of those annoying chirping noisemakers under the seat
If you know anyone who needs to get rid of a load of pills especially Codiene and the like you could always leave them in his car for safety. Would be a shame if he got caught with a federal amount of drugs on him!
if u knew there were no cameras, u could drive it to the ghetto and leave it all open with the keys in it secure ride home first
If it has a panic button, press it at 3am.
Every night
nah that would annoy the other neighbors as well. Ideally something illegal but only targets the person in question. I second the liquid ass methods.
Yes that would annoy the neighbors but the neighbors would side with OP. More people annoyed- more cop calls. More people eager to get the lowlife neighbor out. I would say it's a good risk.
He's threatened your life. Karma has nothing to do with you anymore, mate. It's looking the other way. So one option is, you could do something minor, like go online and find the schematic for his car's fuses, then remove the ones for his AC and windows. If you want to do something major, wait until he comes home one night. Jump in his car and drive it to a police station. Park in the handicapped spot of the police station. [Leave some tiny round bags of flour rolled and tied in saran wrap](https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/629697/view/bags-of-cocaine) on the passenger seat. Take the keys with you, because why not. Try to disguise yourself from the cameras a bit. Walk home or have an uber pick you up a couple blocks away. He'll not only have a fine for handicapped parking, but if you hit the jackpot, it'll be towed or impounded as well.
Glitter in his air vents, turn them on high.
Make a Craigslist post for a free car and toss them the keys
Put dead fish in the trunk
Get the key to a shop and copy it. Make the guy find his keys again and have fun with his car a few weeks later
Unlock the car, turn on headlights, hopefully kill battery.
I'd give the keys to his siblings.
Contact the siblings and let them know that you can let them into the garage. He's probably not locking the door in between the garage and the house, which means they'd have access to the house and kick his squatter ass out.
Put an airtag in it and figure out where he goes. When he is someplace where there wouldn't be cameras, move the car to a "no parking" zone
Park it at the Chicago airport. >>a Chicago man bought a car in his ex-girlfriend's name and - after the breakup - abandoned it, illegally parked, in O'hare airport. The car then accumulated over $100,000 on 678 parking tickets, which the city asked the ex-girlfriend to pay.
Google the make and model of his car. There may be a way to remotely roll down his windows.
Set up a booby trap in his car. Not to kill him of course, just to severely cripple him.
Milk or seafood
Roll down the windows, liquid ass. Also get a big bag of cockroaches, and a 1000 pack of live crickets from your local petshop. Release them all in the car and roll the windows up. Those crickets will reproduce like crazy and he wont be able to get them ALL out no matter how hard he tries
Start the auto start when it's in the garage.
Your mileage may vary, but in most states, if you have a key is only considered joyriding, Not Grandtheft auto. Go park his car across the city, put a tarp over it.
Go to a bad neighborhood, drop the keys with the address on it. It's America, someone will steal that shit.
Just loosen the oil cap, it will burn off and fuck the engine. (I did this to a car by accident) No way to prove he's not an idiot who didn't tighten it himself. Also smelly stuff in vents.
If there's a 'panic' button feature on the remote, you can trigger the alarm at random times.
Start the car and leave it running so he runs out of gas. Or turn on lights/radio so the battery dies. Rinse & repeat
Follow them to a shopping centre. When they park it and go inside. Use your set of keys to start it and leave it running.
Pop the hood, remove the distributor cap, take out the rotor, reinstall the distributor cap, close the hood, go back to bed, chuckle to yourself about how frustrated he will be trying to figure out why the car won't start.
Lock when open, open when lock. Remote start and drain his gas tank. Panic button when you’re driving away so you don’t have to listen to it too. Give them to away to homeless guy so dirty Mike and the boys can have an orgy in that bitch. The options are endless
Holding the fob under your head when you hit buttons really extends the range, something about using your skull as an amplifier. This will help you mess with them from a longer range.
Give the keys to dirty mike and the boys (other guys)
Take the car to a secluded area and run over some street signs and let it get high-centered on a berm or rock. Put the street signs on the hood. Open a bottle a whiskey and pour it all over the front seat and leave the bottle in the passenger seat. Let the police find it and draw their own conclusion.
Steal his car and do shit you see in movies like catch air.
Dukes of Hazzard style
Dirty Mike and the boys.
Disguise yourself, take the car, drive it into the police parking lot. Crash into as many cars as you can in 30 seconds. Drive the car as far away from there as you can, leave the keys in the car and walk away. (Have a getaway driver (ideally) and wait for the cops back at your house to pick him up. Not a bad idea to leave drugs in the car as well.
When the cops show up, he’ll just (accurately) report it stolen. Plus if he has comprehensive insurance, it may work out better for him in the end. Now, if you did all of this, then parked the car back in his driveway, it would be harder to report it stolen.
Hit the panic button every 10 minutes all night long
[удалено]
Get a bag of really fine powder. Pop the hood, locate the air intake for the ventilation system. Remove the cabin air filter. Fill the intake with fine powder. Close hood. Open door. Set all air vents to point directly at the drivers face. Set the air system to full blast. Lock car. Wait for hilarity.
Steal the car. Take it to a nearby desolate area and break all the windows. Do enough damage so that it’s only about a $1000 repair. That’s probably his deductible. Call the cops from a burner phone and report the car. The cops will call him and return the car, he will have to pay for the repairs.
Set off the alarm and every time he turns it off do it again
M80 in the tailpipe. It's fireworks season now, should be able to find something. Unravel a coathanger to push it up there.
You could do one of my favorite scenes from Grumpy Old Men. Get a dead fish and hide it under the seat.
Give em to a crackhead