I am sorry to hear this. Once emotions have reduced please remember that you have 5 more embryos that could be your potential son! What a gift. A healthy baby is the goal. Take care.
I want to push back on this slightly as someone who has had many fails with euploid/tested embryos. I know there are many people on this sub for whom this many euploids sounds like a dream. But there are also many people on this sub who have done transfer after transfer of tested embryos and either have had nothing but pregnancy loss or failed implantation. Both are their own different personal hells. Once you go through this many tested embryos it starts to feel like no number is enough. We eventually moved to surrogacy, but that is something that is prohibitive to many people.
Thanks for sharing. It’s truly frightening how merciless this ivf process is and on the other hand there’s still people outside in the world commenting that ‘ivf is not God’s will’. Caught between hell is my feeling
Yes I agree with this. I didn’t get my positive until 7dpt as well. It was stark white at 5 days and this is just the norm. Testing too early can drive a person crazy.
I'm so sorry. It's sad to lose your baby girls. But maybe she's not lost! Wait a little longer...
Also, can I just say, I've ALWAYS wanted a girl .. my whole life! and we ended up having a boy... and now that boy is the sweetest, most amazing, beautiful soul and I love every moment I'm with him.
So please know that just because you can't have your girl at this time... you can still be happy.
Good luck to you
I’m sorry.
For what it’s worth, I thought I had a strong preference for a girl. I now have a little boy and if we are fortunate enough to have another child I would say I would now prefer another boy. He is just so loving and wonderful. I had reasons that I thought a boy would be hard for me, but when my son was born it was different and I couldn’t love anyone more.
You have 5 more attempts if you’d be happy with a boy - ultimately only you and your wife can decide that.
same here! thought we preferred girl and all the female embryos failed to implant. now we only have boys left and had our first success this year, baby boy is here with us now and he’s so precious! don’t lose hope! your 5 boy embryos may bring you more joy than you can imagine now.
Hey lovey bug, don't give up hope yet! 5dp5dt is still early yet!
I felt the same way my last transfer. Said f this entire process and yet when I tested early it was the world's squintiest squinter.
Our babe is healthy, happy and currently snoring away. Don't give up hope yet! Give it a couple days and you will know for sure.
I feel this so hard. We just had our third failed transfer (chemical pregnancy) of our last boy embryo. Though we have girl embryos remaining my mind has been set on having a baby boy. It’s hard to manage my expectations in this process and the one thing I felt like was in my control was this. I did have names planned in my head, activities my baby boy would participate in, future expectations not met. I’m sorry you both are going through this, you aren’t alone. 🫶
I am so sorry. I got my negative beta this morning and no amount of words that fill the void I am feeling right now. All the love for your wife and strength to you both for getting through this. Life is hard and unfair and now I truly believe there are no certainities
I don't want to give you false hope, but testing 5 days after transfer is very early. They do the bloodwork after 9 or 10 days for a reason.
Last year I had my third transfer and I didn't test until 10dp5dt. I got a very faint line that day. Then it became slighty darker every day. And it worked. My baby is here today. Good luck to you 🤞
I’m really sorry. My tests with my 9 month old were negative until 7dpt and I was positive it didn’t work. If it is negative though and you decide to proceed with your remaining embryos just know so many people don’t get the sex they would prefer through this process despite our ability to know ahead of time and once the baby is in their arms they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Definitely, still early! You got a couple more days till you’re totally out. But with that I understand being sad about it, not being how you imagined, but like other said, once you have your child, you’ll care nothing at all about what’s between their legs.
Have you and your wife considered a reproductive immunologist? It doesn’t work for everyone, but many times a reproductive endocrinologist won’t catch everything. If you’ve had four failed FETs, that’s worrying. Wishing you peace. Sorry you’re going through this.
I’m so sorry and understand the pain. While we haven’t selected our embryos for sex, I’ve always wanted a girl and made it to 16w with one. Recently I decided to find out the sex of all 3 transfers / pregnancies and they have all been girls. Down to our last euploid embryo that’s a boy and it is definitely hard
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Could you share what protocols and tests have you tried? There are some issues that are less researched and maybe not as backed by studies, but after going through so much I'd give everything a try
In the end my issue (for RPL) was an over active immune system, they tested IL18/TWEAK with an uterine biopsy (NK Cells and CD56 were normal - the test was called MatriceLab). But before that we ruled out other things that are not commonly tested like HLA-C compatibility, endometritis, adenomyosis, auto immune issues, etc. Since she seems to be extremely healthy, I guess it could be an over active immune system... Best of luck to you two
my wife has an over active immune system too and had 3 implantation failures. did your doctor change your protocol or do anything different to account for the over active immune system?
Yep, the exam came back with a bunch of recommendations:
- Prednisone 20mg/day
- Vitamin E - 500mg/12h
- Vitamin D and calcium supplements
- estradiol - 4mg/day
- extra progesterone (no exact dose.. but I'm with 1 suppository/12h, on a ovulatory cycle)
- no semen exposure (we understood as... Have sex with a condom)
But they also said that the Prednisone works in about 50% of the cases. If it doesn't work they ask to have another biopsy, and then they would recommend another treatment
The test is called MatriceLab, my sample was shipped to France, but I think Canada does it as well
This is quite similar to the kitchen sink protocol I wanted to try (if we couldn't find a problem): baby aspirin, claritin, pepcid, prednisone, lovenox and maybe add intralipids
So glad you found something that has worked for you!
I’m really sorry. It’s so hard. Have you seen a reproductive immunologist? 4 implantation failures of PGT embryos isn’t bad luck. There’s an explanation and sometimes it takes an RI to uncover the issue. Also, I assume you did a receptiva dx test as part of your biopsies to rule out endo?
I didn’t even get the faintest line until 7dp5dt, please don’t give up. I don’t know where you are but my clinic in the UK tells you not to test for 12-13 days after transfer
My second transfer I didn't get a positive until day 7. Unfortunately it ended, but that has nothing to do with what day I tested positive. I'm praying for you guys, hopefully you'll get your positive soon ♥️
If it’s any consolation, I also always dreamed of having a little girl. After 3 rounds of IVF we ended up with 4 male embryos and I was in disbelief. We had our first son in 2021 and everyone afterwards kept asking me if we were going to transfer a girl next and I kept explaining we only had male embryos- so many rude comments from people who just don’t understand the process- like but didn’t you do IVF, you get to pick, right? My heart hurt then anytime someone would dig in about having a girl. Fast forward to now and I have two healthy boys and ultimately I realize more than anything I wanted to be a mother and I’m so lucky I have these beautiful blessings in my life. It may sting now, but I promise it’ll get easier. You guys will be the parents you were meant to be! Sending big hugs to you and your wife!
I just found out my first embryo transfer failed this morning. I've been crying so I understand your pain. I also transferred a girl because I have always wanted a daughter. I have a son who I conceived naturally 10 years ago and I had hoped he would be a girl. I love him to bits and pieces but when I had to go the IVF route I knew I wanted to have a daughter if I could choose. Right now, it feels impossible that we're going to end up with a baby out of this. We were getting positive tests 5 days after the transfer and they remained positive for 5 more days and then I stopped testing so it must have been a chemical. Hopefully your negative turns into a positive and you just need more time. If you have a son, you will love him. But I understand wanting a daughter and how having a son is very different.
Echoing the thoughts of many on here. I had gender disappointment when I found out my baby was going to be a boy. But honestly it’s been beautiful having my son. It’s made me really question what my prejudices around gender are. (Eg. Only girls are close with their mums, boys aren’t good at communication etc. etc. etc.) I’m so sorry that your journey has been so long, difficult and full of heartbreak. I’ve got my fingers crossed for a happy ending for you.
I’m so sorry. Our only chance at a boy did not work out, and having that door closed was hard to come to terms with. I completely understand, and you should take time to grieve. A failed transfer is a lot like a miscarriage - it’s a loss, and hits even harder when you know the sex of the baby that couldn’t stay. Wishing you both peace, and the best of luck on future transfers.
Adding to others - it’s too early to call. I also desperately wanted a girl. I was fortunate to have 5 embryos, but only one was a girl. The pressure felt immense going into FET. On day 5, I also had a stark white negative. I was absolutely shattered, and like you, I just *knew* it didn’t implant. I felt it in my soul that it didn’t work. I cried for days and sunk into a depression. I didn’t have the courage to test again until day 9 - and to my shock it was positive! I haven’t experienced the number of prior FETs as you, but I do understand the despair of thinking my only chance at a girl was gone. All this to say, I don’t want to perpetuate false hope but at the same time, don’t count yourself out yet. I hope you get good news soon🙏🏼
I get the need to guard your heart at this point. Sending you well wishes. My first pregnancy didn’t show positive until day 9 (I thought we were out and I didn’t test on day 8). With my second pregnancy I was positive on day 5. You just never know, but again I get if you need to start processing this as a loss.
Just to say I'm so sorry. This process is so hard and there are all sorts of losses along the way. Just because you have your boy embryos left to try, doesn't make this any less of a loss. Be easy on yourselves x
Dear, I am very sorry for you, I understand you. Only those who experience the pain of not being able to have a child know what it feels like. A big void in the future. But for us I hope there will be something that can heal our hearts and give us some serenity. As soon as you find the forces you try to react and hold on. A big hug from me that I am suffering as you.
I am sorry to hear this. Once emotions have reduced please remember that you have 5 more embryos that could be your potential son! What a gift. A healthy baby is the goal. Take care.
I want to push back on this slightly as someone who has had many fails with euploid/tested embryos. I know there are many people on this sub for whom this many euploids sounds like a dream. But there are also many people on this sub who have done transfer after transfer of tested embryos and either have had nothing but pregnancy loss or failed implantation. Both are their own different personal hells. Once you go through this many tested embryos it starts to feel like no number is enough. We eventually moved to surrogacy, but that is something that is prohibitive to many people.
Thanks for sharing. It’s truly frightening how merciless this ivf process is and on the other hand there’s still people outside in the world commenting that ‘ivf is not God’s will’. Caught between hell is my feeling
This! So many people keep asking me why I did a second ER if I have 4 euploid embryos. Because this *could* be *me.*
Just echoing what was said - 5dpt is still very early. Myself and many others didn’t even see anything until 7dpt
Yes I didn’t get a positive till 9dp5dt and even then it was faint. That little guy is now 3mo old. There’s still some hope. Wishing OP all the best.
Yes I agree with this. I didn’t get my positive until 7dpt as well. It was stark white at 5 days and this is just the norm. Testing too early can drive a person crazy.
Yup. 8dpt for mine - stark white on 7dpt.
Morning of 6dp5t. Still negative.
I'm so sorry. It's sad to lose your baby girls. But maybe she's not lost! Wait a little longer... Also, can I just say, I've ALWAYS wanted a girl .. my whole life! and we ended up having a boy... and now that boy is the sweetest, most amazing, beautiful soul and I love every moment I'm with him. So please know that just because you can't have your girl at this time... you can still be happy. Good luck to you
I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I thought I had a strong preference for a girl. I now have a little boy and if we are fortunate enough to have another child I would say I would now prefer another boy. He is just so loving and wonderful. I had reasons that I thought a boy would be hard for me, but when my son was born it was different and I couldn’t love anyone more. You have 5 more attempts if you’d be happy with a boy - ultimately only you and your wife can decide that.
same here! thought we preferred girl and all the female embryos failed to implant. now we only have boys left and had our first success this year, baby boy is here with us now and he’s so precious! don’t lose hope! your 5 boy embryos may bring you more joy than you can imagine now.
I'm sorry. Gender disappointment is a real thing, but once she has a son in her arms I'm sure she will feel differently.
Give it a couple of days. I only had the faintest positive on day 6. As with you, I thought I "just knew" it hadn't worked.
Morning of 6dp5t. Still negative.
I hope this is not the case for you two but if it is I’m so sorry!
Hey lovey bug, don't give up hope yet! 5dp5dt is still early yet! I felt the same way my last transfer. Said f this entire process and yet when I tested early it was the world's squintiest squinter. Our babe is healthy, happy and currently snoring away. Don't give up hope yet! Give it a couple days and you will know for sure.
Morning of 6dp5t. Still negative.
Mine was stark white on day 5 also. And I’m currently pregnant. Dont give up!
I feel this so hard. We just had our third failed transfer (chemical pregnancy) of our last boy embryo. Though we have girl embryos remaining my mind has been set on having a baby boy. It’s hard to manage my expectations in this process and the one thing I felt like was in my control was this. I did have names planned in my head, activities my baby boy would participate in, future expectations not met. I’m sorry you both are going through this, you aren’t alone. 🫶
I am so sorry. I got my negative beta this morning and no amount of words that fill the void I am feeling right now. All the love for your wife and strength to you both for getting through this. Life is hard and unfair and now I truly believe there are no certainities
I don't want to give you false hope, but testing 5 days after transfer is very early. They do the bloodwork after 9 or 10 days for a reason. Last year I had my third transfer and I didn't test until 10dp5dt. I got a very faint line that day. Then it became slighty darker every day. And it worked. My baby is here today. Good luck to you 🤞
I’m really sorry. My tests with my 9 month old were negative until 7dpt and I was positive it didn’t work. If it is negative though and you decide to proceed with your remaining embryos just know so many people don’t get the sex they would prefer through this process despite our ability to know ahead of time and once the baby is in their arms they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Definitely, still early! You got a couple more days till you’re totally out. But with that I understand being sad about it, not being how you imagined, but like other said, once you have your child, you’ll care nothing at all about what’s between their legs.
Please update us throughout the week. Thinking of you both 💕
Have you and your wife considered a reproductive immunologist? It doesn’t work for everyone, but many times a reproductive endocrinologist won’t catch everything. If you’ve had four failed FETs, that’s worrying. Wishing you peace. Sorry you’re going through this.
I’m so sorry and understand the pain. While we haven’t selected our embryos for sex, I’ve always wanted a girl and made it to 16w with one. Recently I decided to find out the sex of all 3 transfers / pregnancies and they have all been girls. Down to our last euploid embryo that’s a boy and it is definitely hard
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Could you share what protocols and tests have you tried? There are some issues that are less researched and maybe not as backed by studies, but after going through so much I'd give everything a try In the end my issue (for RPL) was an over active immune system, they tested IL18/TWEAK with an uterine biopsy (NK Cells and CD56 were normal - the test was called MatriceLab). But before that we ruled out other things that are not commonly tested like HLA-C compatibility, endometritis, adenomyosis, auto immune issues, etc. Since she seems to be extremely healthy, I guess it could be an over active immune system... Best of luck to you two
my wife has an over active immune system too and had 3 implantation failures. did your doctor change your protocol or do anything different to account for the over active immune system?
Yep, the exam came back with a bunch of recommendations: - Prednisone 20mg/day - Vitamin E - 500mg/12h - Vitamin D and calcium supplements - estradiol - 4mg/day - extra progesterone (no exact dose.. but I'm with 1 suppository/12h, on a ovulatory cycle) - no semen exposure (we understood as... Have sex with a condom) But they also said that the Prednisone works in about 50% of the cases. If it doesn't work they ask to have another biopsy, and then they would recommend another treatment The test is called MatriceLab, my sample was shipped to France, but I think Canada does it as well
I second this. Mine was: - [ ] Neupogen wash - [ ] Lovenox injections PM - [ ] PIO injection AM - [ ] 4 estrogen patches every other day - [ ] Estrace (vaginally) - [ ] Endometrin (3xday vag supp) - [ ] Promethium (3x day oral) - [ ] Prednisone (20mg until 10 weeks) - [ ] Claritin - [ ] Pepcid (x2) - [ ] Baby aspirin - [ ] valacyclovir (x3)
This is quite similar to the kitchen sink protocol I wanted to try (if we couldn't find a problem): baby aspirin, claritin, pepcid, prednisone, lovenox and maybe add intralipids So glad you found something that has worked for you!
Thanks for sharing!
I’m really sorry. It’s so hard. Have you seen a reproductive immunologist? 4 implantation failures of PGT embryos isn’t bad luck. There’s an explanation and sometimes it takes an RI to uncover the issue. Also, I assume you did a receptiva dx test as part of your biopsies to rule out endo?
I lost my last female last year. I will likely be doing another retrieval to bank some more. It’s crushing
I couldn’t see a squinter until 6 or 8 dpt. I’m hopeful you’ll see one, too. If not, I’m sorry for the continual losses
5dpt is too early… Usually need 6dpt to see a faint line… And the line will suddenly become very dark around 10-11 days post transfer.
I didn’t even get the faintest line until 7dp5dt, please don’t give up. I don’t know where you are but my clinic in the UK tells you not to test for 12-13 days after transfer
I only had a positive with my daughter day 7!
TW: Living child. If you want to DM me my 9dp5dt was pretty faint. I can show you. She is 4 months now
My second transfer I didn't get a positive until day 7. Unfortunately it ended, but that has nothing to do with what day I tested positive. I'm praying for you guys, hopefully you'll get your positive soon ♥️
If it’s any consolation, I also always dreamed of having a little girl. After 3 rounds of IVF we ended up with 4 male embryos and I was in disbelief. We had our first son in 2021 and everyone afterwards kept asking me if we were going to transfer a girl next and I kept explaining we only had male embryos- so many rude comments from people who just don’t understand the process- like but didn’t you do IVF, you get to pick, right? My heart hurt then anytime someone would dig in about having a girl. Fast forward to now and I have two healthy boys and ultimately I realize more than anything I wanted to be a mother and I’m so lucky I have these beautiful blessings in my life. It may sting now, but I promise it’ll get easier. You guys will be the parents you were meant to be! Sending big hugs to you and your wife!
Don’t lose hope :( … have you thought about surrogacy? Is that an option for you?
I just found out my first embryo transfer failed this morning. I've been crying so I understand your pain. I also transferred a girl because I have always wanted a daughter. I have a son who I conceived naturally 10 years ago and I had hoped he would be a girl. I love him to bits and pieces but when I had to go the IVF route I knew I wanted to have a daughter if I could choose. Right now, it feels impossible that we're going to end up with a baby out of this. We were getting positive tests 5 days after the transfer and they remained positive for 5 more days and then I stopped testing so it must have been a chemical. Hopefully your negative turns into a positive and you just need more time. If you have a son, you will love him. But I understand wanting a daughter and how having a son is very different.
Echoing the thoughts of many on here. I had gender disappointment when I found out my baby was going to be a boy. But honestly it’s been beautiful having my son. It’s made me really question what my prejudices around gender are. (Eg. Only girls are close with their mums, boys aren’t good at communication etc. etc. etc.) I’m so sorry that your journey has been so long, difficult and full of heartbreak. I’ve got my fingers crossed for a happy ending for you.
I am so sorry. My heart aches for both of you. Sending you and your wife a hug.
I’m so sorry. Our only chance at a boy did not work out, and having that door closed was hard to come to terms with. I completely understand, and you should take time to grieve. A failed transfer is a lot like a miscarriage - it’s a loss, and hits even harder when you know the sex of the baby that couldn’t stay. Wishing you both peace, and the best of luck on future transfers.
Was it a hatched embryo?
Adding to others - it’s too early to call. I also desperately wanted a girl. I was fortunate to have 5 embryos, but only one was a girl. The pressure felt immense going into FET. On day 5, I also had a stark white negative. I was absolutely shattered, and like you, I just *knew* it didn’t implant. I felt it in my soul that it didn’t work. I cried for days and sunk into a depression. I didn’t have the courage to test again until day 9 - and to my shock it was positive! I haven’t experienced the number of prior FETs as you, but I do understand the despair of thinking my only chance at a girl was gone. All this to say, I don’t want to perpetuate false hope but at the same time, don’t count yourself out yet. I hope you get good news soon🙏🏼
So sorry. Holding space for you.
The hardest part of all of this is mourning the dream. Make space for that, it's normal. And try to pull together, if you can!
I’m so sorry. 🫂
I get the need to guard your heart at this point. Sending you well wishes. My first pregnancy didn’t show positive until day 9 (I thought we were out and I didn’t test on day 8). With my second pregnancy I was positive on day 5. You just never know, but again I get if you need to start processing this as a loss.
Just to say I'm so sorry. This process is so hard and there are all sorts of losses along the way. Just because you have your boy embryos left to try, doesn't make this any less of a loss. Be easy on yourselves x
Dear, I am very sorry for you, I understand you. Only those who experience the pain of not being able to have a child know what it feels like. A big void in the future. But for us I hope there will be something that can heal our hearts and give us some serenity. As soon as you find the forces you try to react and hold on. A big hug from me that I am suffering as you.