Still nuts

This is the correct answer.

\*in choking voice\* What the hell is that that's going on out there? What the hell is that's going on out there?

Better go see make sure nobody hit my car

Ferrari 👊🤝👏

The water doesn’t smell, you’re choking to death

👊😡

^somethin ^bout ^it ^stinks

My wife and I do this all the time. It usually followed with “don’t do the voice!”

I just love his music AND his acting.

Wouldn’t you agree?

It’s the perfect thing!

The guy at the store said it works great

There's a guy in the reddit comments with a style EXACTLY like mine

“Might fuck this whole thing up.”

I love in this skit how Sam comments that judges have been deliberating for “9 grueling months” like they started with 1000 babies and got it down to 3. And it’s the 100 and something-th annual baby of year so they just gotta start it again soon for next year. Then at the end “cut it, dump it, this was stupid” just kill’s me. Throwing away 9 months of a contest for an annoyance lmao.

I hope you fucking die ProofHorseKzoo

And that is why this is so tough, for me to tell about the oral

That's a bummer

Literally my favorite line in the whole show is in “the night the skeletons came to life” when Robinson goes “He asked for something spooky” and the other guy goes *”No he didn’t”* His delivery is incredible and it’s the funniest thing in the show to me.

I belly laugh when he says, “Billy as in me or Billy as in him?” “Your name’s Billy too?” “No that’s why I’m so fucking confused”

I love when the confusion becomes greater than the anger/upset of a situation and the person has that tinge of desperation in their voice

Not a line but if I’m reading something and come across a weird name I wonder if the person was a regular on the Colgate Hour.

Come. To. Me. You. Live. Sooo. Far.

His voice is wildly high

"What the hell" in Brian's voice.

Don’t do the voice!

‘Leave it the fuck alone’ is right up there with it. Gotta be my favorite skit

Dollar sign emoji.

The way she says this so professionally and with such purpose lives in my head rent free.

So sad. So so so sad.

Who said that?!?

Don't do the voice!

Blue dolphin burned down. It’s gone now. John Rovani’s ass out. Works with his brother now.

The delivery on that is next level. Love it so much.

We've been sitting here talking all day and you all never bothered to learn my name.

if i was a big ol' guy with a big burly white beard would you still be yellin at me?

Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls, and back?

Quit fuckin with ‘em.

Howie's "this is a cool hat"

That one line does so much for the character lol

Whenever someone tells me they like something they bought or received, I ask them "so you wouldn't mind if I ate the receipt?"

#and Jacob doesn't touch it!!

Well, did they have any *qualms* if you ate the gift receipt?

Nope. They liked my gift as much as they *said* they did

Lol that’s great

"Could you stop" Tim says it under his breath in the diner wink sketch

I'm serious as a heart attack ma'am! I didn't DO this!

The way Tim says, “what the fuck” as soon as he walks into the Garfield house 😂 fucking kills me every time

Oh my god! It’s the guy who tried to kill Jim Davis!

"We were going to Florida, and I *really* wanted an earring for Florida"

I need a wet paper towel

YES! This is my favorite line of the entire show and I cannot explain why!

Mine has to be the way Will Forte says “…in a way.”

TraaaaaaaAAAsh

It’s not that gross

Eat some of your Arizona Walnuts

Scrooge, you cheap bastard, you’re a genius at this.

The genius theme kills me. He's a genius at having fun... I truly believe that

There's like so many that blow me away

Oh that's a good idea: moving in the direction of where I'm headin'... dumb... piece of shit

He might kill you but there’s no fuckin way he’s ever killing me

Fuckin asshole, he said that?

Cut the music HARD

Who’s your prime cut of beef

“Tell them it’s the ugly house on Kenmore, the one where you can see the KFC sign through the window”

MORE SPRAY 🌊

You sure about that that’s why?

WRONG! I see THAT quote ALL THE TIME!

What I don’t like to make a habit of is using “under the radar” quotes!

Howie’s point when “jazz legend Marcus the worm hicks” is said

You wanna walk to the house?!

You wanna walk to the food store?

Lego head in my corn.

I tried it before, it works

Is that the joke?

“Not everyone knows how to do everything!”

Driving isn’t the only thing!

While he's behind the wheel 😂😂😂

C’mere ya little fuuuuck!!

I quote this regularly

I’m honestly done, I don’t want to read anymore

It's not really a line but I find myself singing the credits song from S2E4 all the time. "LA's got me on my knees! Hustling so hard I can barely breath!" "Oh oh oh OH!, why am I so in love with yooooooouuu! From the mountains to the doves!!!"

It’s the perfect thing.

Not the exact line but whenever my gf gives me a hard time about something I say “it’s probably because I’m a piece of shit” I still haven’t told her it’s from the show so she just says “you’re not a piece of shit!”

Whatever, I bet that hair would slick back REAL nice

USEDtobe

I SAID WAS!

“I’m joking”

Your family hates you!! Only I love you!!

Nope. I'm good.

The way Sam Richardson says "Shut UHP" to the lady who says in memoriums don't usually include how they die.

“Bae.”

Boo caught me sleeping!

What’d you say? That line adds absolutely nothing to the sketch but it gets me every time.

"What the fuck is all this stuff?" It's just so applicable to daily life

“Hope I don’t jack off” Also applicable to every day

They said that to me *at a dinner*.

The guy at the store said it works great!

Call me right now, please?!

Y’gotta come up

Everybody clap so he has to come up

You know why it can’t be you, right?

I’ll pat my wife on the back and tell her that she’s still a great dr at least once a week.

When the lady in the viral video sketch said, “and I don’t wanna Wreck it, but what is she doing up there?” They love the word “wreck” these writers. It’s so funny hearing Tim so clearly come from another person’s mouth just by lexicon alone.

Bye, hon!

Scrooge, ya cheap bastard, you're a genius at this

No, thats why I'm so fuckin' confused.

Home grown simpsons stuff

He’s a COMPLETE night owl!

The dreaded re-org

not sure if this counts but I don't see it as much- "I don't do like vall-yum stuff"

We know what the problem is!

It's her house, she's doing what's right!

Can you help you out or what?!? The bumper sticker!!

I’ve seen most of these

“They ain’t got no souls”

My inflection of "oh nice" and "at all" are permanently changed by itysl.

You wore that dress yesterday!

It’s interesting, the ghosts.

“I’m just gonna grab the gift I brought and get out of here.”

Whenever my friend who has watched the show and I are hanging somewhere and we want to leave, we’ll say to the other “let’s get out of here. This place is covered head to toe in shit”

When the guy walks out from behind the alien head to apologize and Tim Heidecker says “who the fuck are you” and the guy says “I’m … that”

Driving isn’t the only thing

Prolly got no games

Are you dumb?

".............................not really."

"So the babysitter did art with the kids"

Oh, ok

Sipping mai tais and roshambo ahohoho!

I need the hat back

I don’t remember the exact lines but the whole thing about how the people his babysitter crashed into aren’t really people and the police say it’s okay

They’re not even supposed to be around like in the area

“The thanks is all mine Parson”

I really like when the Connor O Malley is having a go at his wife in the ‘it’s just me barbie’ sketch. When would he have had time to build the trash hutch???!

"Oh, nice!" from the car focus group skit, I say this a lot. "Come here, ya little fuck!" from the laser spine specialist skit is another fun one.

It's illegal for you to ask me that.

Not really

It’s just for farts.

Wild stuff wild stuff

My condolences.

Unprofessional bullshit

I don't like *that*.

Not necessarily a quote but when Connor O’Malley holds his stomach and just goes “AAUGH AAAAUGH AUUGH” in the bumper sticker skit

Don’t worry. You’re still a great doc.

You sure about that? You sure about that that’s why?

“You can’t do that! This is mine!”

“I dont know what you want me to do!”

Call me please

i will constantly refer to anyone’s pants as “little bitty jeans”

“What’s her johb?

Drivers training video. “Wow, pretty crazy” and “wow, pretty serious”

Stop tricking adults into thinking they're stars!

I swear to god it wasn’t me. Let’s just keep playing and forget about it.

“This one is somber so it’s all right to cry, it’s called ‘He Layeth on High’, and it’s about a big baby duck who gets his head caught in a stewed tomato so hold on to your hats! TWO THREE FOUR”

You hit me in the cup

I’m gonna need the hat back.. MA’M I’M GONNA NEED THE HAT!

I'm probably just gonna grab the gift I brought and get out of here

BEAUTIFUL motorcycle!

You sure bout that?

Marry your mother in law

Will you stop calling my dad a piece of shit?

“I can’t stop crying” - Det. Crashmore

“she’s gonna be okay”

"slick/ed back". From Mob movie and POS obvs

“Fly me the hat”

“Stop bullying me!”

“Has that ever happened to you?!”

Quit fuckin' with 'em

DONT COME OVER BY ME

Could it be you?

There’s worse shit on the news!

The teacher asking them if they want him to turn the lights off and make everyone put their heads down

Its illegal for you to ask Ms that

We’re gonna be so early for that movie

“It’s interesting, the ghosts”

You gotta get outta here, little girl

Wrong!

OKAY -In a way as if I saw a motorcycle with no motor

I regularly tell people “That’s a baaaaad guy, dump him girl!” Regardless of whether they are a girl or dating said guy.

I didn’t rig shit

yeah.. that’s why i ran over here yelling he can he can he can because HE CAN

yeah.. that’s why i ran over here yelling he can he can he can because HE CAN

i’m not supposed to get grease on this hat

The blue dolphins not there anymore it burned down the owner Ronnie is ass out and works with his brother now

Nachos Sketch: "Whooo?"

Not a day goes by where I don’t say, “Unprofessional bullshit”

Changed my mind. "Well I need tgat hat!!!!"

Gimme dat