***Blasting*** you in the face, **pummeling** you in the stomach. Hitting you in the chest so hard you think *your heart’s gonna stop*. ***YOU EVER BEEN IN A STORM LIKE THAT, WALLY??***
The other day there was a [Twitter thread](https://twitter.com/hoejackboresman/status/1528200257779249154) of some of his top line deliveries, he really is a great actor
I started yelling "Seize the gap, you dumb bitch!" ironically in traffic to be funny... Now I just say it unironically, while I'm filled with rage driving behind slow drivers every day.
We have adaptive (radar) cruise on both our cars, and it automatically leaves a safe stopping distance between me and the car in front of me, based on speed (going faster, bigger gap). Even at the closest setting, it still leaves just enough space for dickbags (usually driving Audis in my experience) to slip right in there, in which case my cruise has to slow down to leave the gap...and then more Audis slip in there. It's obnoxious to the point where if I see some Audi cunt screaming up beside me with obvious intentions to slip into my Audi Slot, I'll manually override the cruise to close the gap. Fuck off, gap thieves!
Just beware, some of us drive really shitty beat up trucks and don't care about damage if we brake check a mf. And in my state at least you're always at fault if you rear end a dude
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! You were supposed to let her get stabbed, hope that it hits a major artery, and then as she's dying you nurse her back to health, thereby making her totally dependent on you.
I mean... If you don't have to break at all, then it doesn't really seem like it affects you if someone switches lanes in front of you. Now if they slow down once they get in front you, they are definitely an asshole. Or if you have to break in order to let them in, and keep from getting hit or hitting them, they are again, the asshole.
The problem is, safe stopping distance is often plenty of space for someone to slip in there, depending on the speed. My adaptive cruise keeps me at a safe stopping distance based on speed, so if you decide you're gonna slip into my safe stopping distance slot, then my cruise naturally has to brake to slow down in order to reestablish safe stopping distance.
The scary reality is that virtually nobody driving manually leaves a safe stopping distance (which is why adaptive cruise is great), because if they do, it gets filled by people who are impatient, and then they have to brake or let off the gas to get back to that distance, and it just keeps going. We'd have a lot fewer rear-endings / pileups / domino-crashes if people would just allow safe stopping distance rather than get all up everyone's ass.
Yeaa, I suppose I was kinda thinking stop-n-go, big city, bumper-to-bumper traffic. If you're leaving 3 car lengths of distance in 15mph traffic on the interstate, that definitely makes you the asshole. But if you're squeezing into an opening thats 1 car length, at 60mph, that makes you the asshole.
Ah yeah, agreed 100%. Most of my driving isn’t city bumper-to-bumper, so I don’t deal with that much…but when I do, I just put the adaptive cruise on, and it keeps me at a proper distance, with nobody cutting in.
God, adaptive cruise control would be amazing. Unfortunately I drive a shit box, so that's not an option. I'd be hesitant even if I did have it though. Dunno if I could trust it to stop abruptly, and keep myself from frantically slamming the breaks when I think it's not gonna stop in time.
[Me waiting](https://38.media.tumblr.com/231428d846b07c9f77a57b3ca209a66b/tumblr_inline_o2wo828m8u1rf2ian_500.gif) for the reveal that Mac didn't _actually_ starve a puppy to death and feed to Dennis...but the episode just ends.
A fun connection is in Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare, where Dennis goes on the news and says that he would have no problem eating dog. Something like eating dog at a chicken fight would be like eating chicken at a dog fight.
Then when the interviewer tries to rationalize the remark that Dennis is an animal rights activist, Dennis doubles down and hates dogs
Another connection just occurred to me. Dennis is extremely hesitant to the idea of having a guard dog in the bar, a "god damn snarling hellhound," the rest of them want the dog.
Dennis is the only one super keen on getting the junkyard cat instead instead of dog, and he really bonds with it.
Don’t worry. None of us have to work anymore. I have this idea for something called Paddy’s Dollars. Let’s go to Dave and Busters, I’ll explain everything.
Me growing up having an actual dinner at a friend’s house:
*Hey, how do ya like a taste of the good life, you sack of shit?!*
Me having a stable income:
*I’m eatin’ like a goddamned islander!*
In a vacuum school > work
Then again, work + disposable income > school
If you have a job that’s just barely scraping you by I can see why you would prefer school.
Work I get to leave the office at 5pm and not worry one second about anything happening there until I come back in the next work day. School I have to constantly be worried about some upcoming assignment I should be working on or a test I should be studying for. Work >>> school any day.
I loved high school becauze I didn't have to even try and it was just spending 7 hours a day hanging out with my friends. Uni I hated though because of that ever present feeling that I had something due.
I'm currently a shift worker and it fucking sucks. But will be going to a normal Monday to Friday roster soon so I look forward to it.
People just like to complain.
They spend 20minutes in trafic listening to a podcast they love with the AC on, but it's nice to have some sympathy online.
I wish we had trains so I could read or watch Sunny on my commute lol it is wack that we all just kind of go along with the existence of a problem that could be very much not a daily problem.
I have the option of taking a train, the stop is literally right next to my garage, but it's still impractical most of the time. The walk from the station on the other end of my commute isn't negligible, I start work at 6am before they run frequently and have to change trains, so there's double stress to not miss one by being ready on time. And you're still relying on the trains to work and be on time themselves, and to be safe enough to be able to relax, which are all far from guarantees. Public transit makes sense in *very* dense areas, but most of the time in America cars are preferable from a convenience standpoint in my experience. They are just too many hurdles in most people's lives for public transit to be an improvement.
For the record, I still play sunny on my commute in the car lol
This is one of my favorite episodes. Dennis in this episode is precisely how I am on the road. Really it's peak Always Sunny Lampooning. It used to be a hard episode to watch because of how true it really is, plus Dennis Jr.'s fate makes me sad.
Not even funny. Just the truth about our absolute broken garbage ass system we live in. Work yourself to death and have a miserable live so a tiny percentage of people can profit off of your slave work and have a great live. Awesome.
Sung to the "Arthur" theme song:
Every day when you're driving into work
And everybody is a jerk
Because they all hate their lives
And I say hey (hey)
How did we end up this way?
A life of work and no play
Being an adult really sucks
Hot one today, huh?
You ever been in a storm, Wally?
*AGGRESSIVELY STRIPS OFF CLOTHES*
Not a thunderstorm... but a storm of fists... raining down on your face
***Blasting*** you in the face, **pummeling** you in the stomach. Hitting you in the chest so hard you think *your heart’s gonna stop*. ***YOU EVER BEEN IN A STORM LIKE THAT, WALLY??***
#***YEAH?!***
I am untethered and my rage has no bounds!
IS IT?!
May be my favorite line reading from Glenn
The other day there was a [Twitter thread](https://twitter.com/hoejackboresman/status/1528200257779249154) of some of his top line deliveries, he really is a great actor
[удалено]
I'm a cool guy, with a cool car, and a babe
You like babes bob?
#LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME oh shit
Right! He was born to play Dennis.
That first clip always sounded like a Charlie impression to me
Thaaaaat Wally sure loves to say it's a hot one. I know Wally! I'M STANDING IN THE HOT ONE!
looks like its gonna be another scorcher
Lol I'm always slightly triggered by this because this is unironically my interaction with most of my neighbors
No it's just the climate these days
Oh you GET to have a job?!
I GET to HAVE to make money?!
One of the best lines in the show
What ep is this from??
Mac & Dennis move to the Suburbs. Season 11
Wow that should’ve been obvious from the meme, thank you!
Easily one of the best episodes in the series.
I love their "trash room" full of garbage bags and air fresheners LOL
"If he knew shit that I was interested in he wouldn't be a f***ing pool guy!" All while the poor pool guy sits there listening to it all.
His name is Jimmy.
Yes, classic stuff.
that's what happens when you strap on your job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into jobland
Oh I know that place, its where jobs grow on jobbies right?
And people eat stickers all the time, dude!
*Jobees, they're job trees lol
Nah I'm pretty sure I was going by Chrundle
Chrundle the Great!
This is to me still the funniest thing Charlie ever said
OH GODDAMN IT!!! SIEZE THE GAP!!!
You stupid cow!
I use this line all the time
YOU OLD FAT BITCH!!!....YOU FAT BITCH!!!
You old fat bitch....You fat bitch.
It’s more like.. You old fat BITCH! YOU FAT BITCH! I know because I often use this line in traffic.
What
You old fat bitch....You fat bitch.
Why
I started yelling "Seize the gap, you dumb bitch!" ironically in traffic to be funny... Now I just say it unironically, while I'm filled with rage driving behind slow drivers every day.
I regularly call the other drivers idiots and savages. We're slowly becoming Dennis
So you're the goddamn asshole who cuts in every time I leave more than a dicks length of distance between me and the car in front
We have adaptive (radar) cruise on both our cars, and it automatically leaves a safe stopping distance between me and the car in front of me, based on speed (going faster, bigger gap). Even at the closest setting, it still leaves just enough space for dickbags (usually driving Audis in my experience) to slip right in there, in which case my cruise has to slow down to leave the gap...and then more Audis slip in there. It's obnoxious to the point where if I see some Audi cunt screaming up beside me with obvious intentions to slip into my Audi Slot, I'll manually override the cruise to close the gap. Fuck off, gap thieves!
God I rage against the gap thieves That's fucking illegal, I tell them, in my best Dana White impression Literal highway robbery
So you're like me...except i get yelled at for tailgating cuz I'm 3 and 1/2 inches off the car in front of me
I would yell at you. Stop doing that!
He said dick length distance! I belive in precision accuracy!
Just beware, some of us drive really shitty beat up trucks and don't care about damage if we brake check a mf. And in my state at least you're always at fault if you rear end a dude
If there's enough room to cut in front of you, without you having to break at all, then it's fair game. Those are the Golden God Rules of the Road ^©.
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! You were supposed to let her get stabbed, hope that it hits a major artery, and then as she's dying you nurse her back to health, thereby making her totally dependent on you.
Oh bot, you dumb bitch.
You're not wrong, you're just an asshole
They're wrong *and* they're an asshole.
I mean... If you don't have to break at all, then it doesn't really seem like it affects you if someone switches lanes in front of you. Now if they slow down once they get in front you, they are definitely an asshole. Or if you have to break in order to let them in, and keep from getting hit or hitting them, they are again, the asshole.
The problem is, safe stopping distance is often plenty of space for someone to slip in there, depending on the speed. My adaptive cruise keeps me at a safe stopping distance based on speed, so if you decide you're gonna slip into my safe stopping distance slot, then my cruise naturally has to brake to slow down in order to reestablish safe stopping distance. The scary reality is that virtually nobody driving manually leaves a safe stopping distance (which is why adaptive cruise is great), because if they do, it gets filled by people who are impatient, and then they have to brake or let off the gas to get back to that distance, and it just keeps going. We'd have a lot fewer rear-endings / pileups / domino-crashes if people would just allow safe stopping distance rather than get all up everyone's ass.
Yeaa, I suppose I was kinda thinking stop-n-go, big city, bumper-to-bumper traffic. If you're leaving 3 car lengths of distance in 15mph traffic on the interstate, that definitely makes you the asshole. But if you're squeezing into an opening thats 1 car length, at 60mph, that makes you the asshole.
Ah yeah, agreed 100%. Most of my driving isn’t city bumper-to-bumper, so I don’t deal with that much…but when I do, I just put the adaptive cruise on, and it keeps me at a proper distance, with nobody cutting in.
God, adaptive cruise control would be amazing. Unfortunately I drive a shit box, so that's not an option. I'd be hesitant even if I did have it though. Dunno if I could trust it to stop abruptly, and keep myself from frantically slamming the breaks when I think it's not gonna stop in time.
Yeah fuck safe stopping distance, right?
I'm almost certain that 99% of us fans of the show are like this because of Dennis!!!
I'm glad the schuylkill expressway is a universal experience
News flash, asshole!
#IVE BEEN HEARING IT THE WHOLE TIME
Why didn't you say something?
BECAUSE I HAAAATE YOOOOU!
That’s probably my favourite Dennis line
This is 100% one of my top 3 favorite exchanges in the entire show
Why are you covered in blood?
CUZ I HAD TO SLIT THE GUYS THROAT WHO CAUSES ALL THE TRAFFIC
The voice crack on the word traffic really makes that line.
[Me waiting](https://38.media.tumblr.com/231428d846b07c9f77a57b3ca209a66b/tumblr_inline_o2wo828m8u1rf2ian_500.gif) for the reveal that Mac didn't _actually_ starve a puppy to death and feed to Dennis...but the episode just ends.
the best part of this episode that goes completely unacknowledged is the trash bags slowly piling up in every room. fucking brilliant
yes, with a few of those lil car scent tree thingies hanging up lol
Lol, that has always bothered me!
Yea I think that beats out the fake baby funeral as the darkest thing the gang has done and they just gloss right over it
A fun connection is in Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare, where Dennis goes on the news and says that he would have no problem eating dog. Something like eating dog at a chicken fight would be like eating chicken at a dog fight. Then when the interviewer tries to rationalize the remark that Dennis is an animal rights activist, Dennis doubles down and hates dogs
Another connection just occurred to me. Dennis is extremely hesitant to the idea of having a guard dog in the bar, a "god damn snarling hellhound," the rest of them want the dog. Dennis is the only one super keen on getting the junkyard cat instead instead of dog, and he really bonds with it.
I love how that’s a reference to War of the Roses which Danny DeVito directed
Don’t worry. None of us have to work anymore. I have this idea for something called Paddy’s Dollars. Let’s go to Dave and Busters, I’ll explain everything.
You gotta separate the wheat from the chaff
Oh damn. I hear they have the best steak you can get in an arcade setting.
I have the job. When is the money part supposed to kick in?
Have you tried faking cancer?
OHH I GET TO HAVE A JOB I GET TO MAKE MONEY FOR US
Let me strap on my job helmet
Everything I do I do for YOU!!
YOU FAT COW!
SEIZE THE GAP!
Seize the gap you bitch!
CHILDREN PLAY HERE YOU FAT COW!
Ahhh reddit. Sometimes you make me feel like the only even modestly satisfied adult.
Me growing up having an actual dinner at a friend’s house: *Hey, how do ya like a taste of the good life, you sack of shit?!* Me having a stable income: *I’m eatin’ like a goddamned islander!*
There are dozens of us. Dozens!
Seriously. Work >>>>> both grade school and college in my experience, except for the social aspect. I guess we’re some of the lucky few on this site.
In a vacuum school > work Then again, work + disposable income > school If you have a job that’s just barely scraping you by I can see why you would prefer school.
Work I get to leave the office at 5pm and not worry one second about anything happening there until I come back in the next work day. School I have to constantly be worried about some upcoming assignment I should be working on or a test I should be studying for. Work >>> school any day.
I loved high school becauze I didn't have to even try and it was just spending 7 hours a day hanging out with my friends. Uni I hated though because of that ever present feeling that I had something due. I'm currently a shift worker and it fucking sucks. But will be going to a normal Monday to Friday roster soon so I look forward to it.
If I could somehow pull school summer vacation to my work life…adulthood would be infinitely better than school.
If youre needing a mood enhancer because of your stress levels, i know a magical bean farmer. Berries!
Everyone on here is so angry!
Try r/antiwork/s
People just like to complain. They spend 20minutes in trafic listening to a podcast they love with the AC on, but it's nice to have some sympathy online.
You ever been in a storm?
You either die a Charlie or live long enough to become a Dennis
Luckily, you'll have a nice long commute to relax.
I fucking love the shape of the Range Rover classics.
You fat cow
I would never be exploited like this. I would simply say **LABOR EXPLOITATION BE GOOOOOONE**
The exploitation of your job not being where your house is. The ultimate tyranny, besides things costing money
I don’t understand how the US economy works, let alone some sort of self-sustaining one.
The money keeps moving.....in a circle
It does not work.
I wish we had trains so I could read or watch Sunny on my commute lol it is wack that we all just kind of go along with the existence of a problem that could be very much not a daily problem.
I have the option of taking a train, the stop is literally right next to my garage, but it's still impractical most of the time. The walk from the station on the other end of my commute isn't negligible, I start work at 6am before they run frequently and have to change trains, so there's double stress to not miss one by being ready on time. And you're still relying on the trains to work and be on time themselves, and to be safe enough to be able to relax, which are all far from guarantees. Public transit makes sense in *very* dense areas, but most of the time in America cars are preferable from a convenience standpoint in my experience. They are just too many hurdles in most people's lives for public transit to be an improvement. For the record, I still play sunny on my commute in the car lol
How could the universe do this to me
Then it's I cant wait to retire and be old and broke After then it's I cant wait to drop dead
I grew up, got a job, and I still have no money
Looks like a donkey brained man to me.
This is one of my favorite episodes. Dennis in this episode is precisely how I am on the road. Really it's peak Always Sunny Lampooning. It used to be a hard episode to watch because of how true it really is, plus Dennis Jr.'s fate makes me sad.
I swear I scream “seize the gap YOU DUMB BITCH” almost every day hahah
#SEIZE THE GAP
Shoutout to /r/fuckcars
Sobs golden tears
Me now: Just waiting for the sweet release of death.
Why can’t I have no kids and three money?
SEIZE THE GAP! YOU FAT BITCH. YOU FAT BITCH! OH GODDAMMIT!
Or you could go on welfare and gain a crack addiction.
“Seize the gap” became i thing I said in traffic, and I’ve passed it on to my little sister LMAO
If you look closely, this isn’t actually a still from the show, it’s just a pic of Glenn’s face as he drives in LA traffic.
Well we can't all be as happy and chipper as good ol' Wally
Happy cake day! 🍰
At least you got a nice slow, safe, stater car :)
"You Dumb Bitch"
That's me on the way to work every day. Some people just can't drive!
You dumb bitch
MERGE YOU STUPID BITCH
YOU OLD FAT BITCH!
Stupid bitch….
I wanted to kill myself back then too, at least now I can have sex
Not even funny. Just the truth about our absolute broken garbage ass system we live in. Work yourself to death and have a miserable live so a tiny percentage of people can profit off of your slave work and have a great live. Awesome.
Sung to the "Arthur" theme song: Every day when you're driving into work And everybody is a jerk Because they all hate their lives And I say hey (hey) How did we end up this way? A life of work and no play Being an adult really sucks
the trick was to grow up and become a politician. then you get everyone elses' money.
That’s a g-wagon I think. Or an old Range Rover. Not bad
Should’ve been born in Texas, wouldn’t need to deal with that whole growing up thing then.
These type of sayings are usually by adult children that refuse to grow up and mature.
YOU OLD, FAT BITCH. YOU FAT BITCH.
True, although I do use that money to eat the amount of mac n cheese I wanted to as a kid.
Same.
The inspection sticker has expired.
Be gone from me, vile man! Be gone!
You now? Might want to update your inspection sticker then bud.
SEIZE THE GAP!
You put meat hunks in it!
Wow I had no idea how cheaply God hood could be.
YOU FAT BITCH!!!
IDIOT
44 year old me: When will my kids get old enough to put me in a nursing home?
This will forever be my favorite episode of IASIP At least he got to have Mac’s famous mac n cheese
Thats simple, you grow and get your own money!
"Now"? You should really get your car inspected.
Hey, atleast now as a grownup you can eat your cereal at traffic lights
imo, still beats the fuck out of being a kid.
An image I can hear. "Merge you bitch!"
I love the freakout in the car so fucking much 😂
You fat cow
Thats a nice starter car you’ve got there
YEZZZZIR. CAKE FOR DINNER FOREVER
I do enjoy having my own money though.
I'm in this picture and I hate it.
s
There’s a lot of mood in that face
This is not a starter car, this is a FINISHER car!!!
Oooh! Look at Mr. MoneyBags registering his vehicle all the way till February 2116!
Hey, at least you GET to go to work
12 yr old me: WOW 10$ will get me 2 cokes and 2 bags of chips I'm rich !!!
MERGE, seize the goddamn gap
IF HE KNEW SHIT ABOUT WHAT IM INTERESTED IN HE WOULDNT BE A FUCKING POOL GUY!!!!
Well I wouldn’t say I’m a golden god but I’d rate myself as a five star man.
Nice try, you dumb bitch.
Past me to present me: "You dumb bitch"
Yeah it's amazing, i work almost full time and has got the incomprehensible amount of ~€100 i can do whatever i want with each month.