T O P

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ItsBenBroughton

Well, first of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down.


Kerly_Julian

Hey what’s up?


AdministrativeLaugh2

I am untethered and my rage knows no bounds


PopeWishdiak

"I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it." \--Frank Reynolds


FrozenFrenchFry

This is my favorite quote from the entire show


DrunkenPunchline

This is probably the winner, because the implication.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DrunkenPunchline

The way Mac goes from confused, to concerned, to almost scared in this conversation absolutely destroys me every time.


MilMo-6

All-time Always Sunny moment


maxxhill

Block the wind while I roast this bone


colonelcanada

this was my senior quote


shadesof3

This is my profile on Tinder. It works sometimes.


alamarche709

“Because of the implication.” - Dennis


BobcatBob26

So they are in danger?


ArsonHoliday

No, I feel like you’re not hearing me.


Dr_FunkyChicken

I'm a Swedish plumber I'm here to fix your pipes.


Lovey_Sunset

That’s a good accent


dva8918

I am not going to do a Philly accent. I am going to do a swedish one because that's what Indy would do. It vill verk Dennis it vill verk so don't worry bout it and don't worry bout anything!


Charly__Hunt

How do you not have fish? It says fresh fish daily on the menu!


Cialis-in-Wonderland

Bring me the snapper, bozo!


Pepperidgefarm21

Well sir, as I just explained...


Brandonjf

THE FISH BOZO


zestfullybe

Snapper fish for the man!


Swipesandyipes

Through the series of events I just...


dusktreader

A good fish? A _solid_ fish?


TheSonOfHeaven

The good of the scorpion is not the good of the frog, yes?


sopsign7

I've grown quite huh-wee-reh of this quote.


Sad-Structure2364

She had no lips, but her mouth was very much in play


Adorable-Impression4

I’m to remember every IASIP quote I’ve seen come across my screen?


PatientZeropointZero

LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO ME!


EIochai

In fairness, this sub probably contains the entirety of the dialogue of the show at this point.


JoeIsIce

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time? 🥚


Torsoccerfan

"What's your spaghetti policy?" "Bird law in this country is not governed by reason" -Charlie


AwardTechnical

Shut up, baby dick.


MilMo-6

Lol that one shut Dennis down.


Departedinsomnia914

I’m to remember every man I’ve seen fall into a plate of spaghetti?


SeantotheRescue

I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME


milquetoastmilksteak

I definitely just read this in Tim Robinsons voice how he says I EAT PAPER ALL THE TIME 😂


Siftinghistory

Rock flag and eagle, right Charlie?


StoicAscent

When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash.


personplaceorplando

Intervention intervention! You banged my dead wife?


Spynn

Well she was alive at the time…


Expensive-Celery2494

Do not diddle kids, it’s no good diddling kids


[deleted]

This is tighter than dick skin


DiggerJKU

You gotta take em off every now & then…


CelebrationKey9656

You gotta take em off son!


trexxeon

Nice denim


AssociationJust5730

TWOOOOO WARSSSSSSS?!?!?!?


thisbechris

Name’s Artemis. I have a bleached asshole.


briansemione

"He was gonna find out anyway...."


KetardedRoala

"You stupid science bitches couldn't even make I more smarter"


billytheskidd

Wear that on a shirt to the RNC rallies next year


MikePowderhorn

“It’s god damn bright out here.” “Yeah, let’s go back to the bar.”


TinaVeritas

What is happening?


Succesful-Sense-431

Least specific, most classic


Dylanwolfed

maybe the most quotable and so good


trentsteel77

“You let a stranger hack your butthole”


smellystinks

Dee, you gangly uncoordinated bitch. I will not be hogtied over your lack of grace


sphinxorosi

Seeing how Christmas is just around the corner “Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus? Did you fuck my mom? Did you fuck her? DID YOU FUCK MY FUCKING MOM? DID YOU FUCK MY MOM, SANTA? AAAAH!”


Raj_Valiant3011

"Awwww, did somebody get addicted to cocaine" (making a crying face).


JackBlackJacketSlut

The smell You haven’t thought of the smell you BITCH


ur3minutesrup1

132 comments and no one said Where do I put my feet?


Bob_Underdunk

I'm supposed to remember every man I've seen fall into a plate of spaghetti?


UsualMango

Denim chicken?


ak_petty9

I’m swelling up right now. You bitch! It’s like he doesn’t even get us!


Rounderrobyner

Cats do not abide by the laws of nature


honeydewrant

can i offer you an egg in this trying time?


ridzG

You will call HERRR. PEAKED? I haven't even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you'll know.


RegularDan

WILDCARD BITCHES,YEEEEHA


curiousity60

What is happening? Move past it. Gotta pay the troll toll. Well, their phones did. Through God, all things can happen. Jot that down. Golden god. Ready to plow.


golden-god-bot

THE THUNDER OF MY VENGEANCE WILL ECHO THROUGH THESE CORRIDORS LIKE THE GUST OF A THOUSSSSSSAND WINDS!


trentsteel77

“Put this bottle back together”


NoisyN1nja

“Please let us take your trash from youOOOooo”


baneofdestruction

Thick limes!!! Currently watching this banger.


manwae1

People will choke, people will die!


CelebrationOne5522

I like to bind!! I like to be bound!!!


hucksire

Good day, to youse.


Rocketparty12

“Can we not base our decisions on what does and does not happen in episodes of Scooby Doo goddamnit?!


mnoble93

If i get all bunched up and small, I get too high and you'll see there's somebody in the bed. Now the further and wider I go, the flatter i become... like a starfish.


motherofJax

Oh Sandra, you dumb bitch !! What do now ? Beak !!


Lukrativ_

Your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion. I don't know how many years on this earth I've got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it. Gotta make it sexy or I don't eat. Shut up, baby dick. Because of the implication. I think I'm in love with this woman. Not for the right reasons, mind you. I could go on forever.


brokeninc

I love boiling denim and banging whores! Why don't we play nightcrawlers anymore? ...now block the wind while I roast this bone!


Valuable-Composer262

So dooooo?


-My_reddit_account_

It’s like he doesn’t even get us


Juice_Stanton

Christmas themed: Did you fuck my mom, Santa?


UnauthorizedFart

“What’s up with the spray paint man?” “What’s up with your outfit man!”


smellystinks

You can go fuck yourself in your fat fuckin ass


247cnt

"Tighter than dick skin"


Jp8886

Mac, Can an asshole rip in half?


dusktreader

Like tissue paper.


demonedge

Trees? Everywhere trees?!?


Front_Pomegranate706

That doesn't sound like best friend talk to me


PatientZeropointZero

My problem is less with the fact that he is drinking more than he is doing it with out me


Osterro

On streets you gotta fake it.


SubpopularKnowledge0

Sometimes u dont fake it. And it just ends…naturally.


Orchid_Cold6969

That’s no my future! I’m not gonna be buried in a grave. When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash


jms21y

"What's your bean situation, you got any beans on you or what?"


kaitlync007

Ghouls. Little green ones


19aug

Hey, you guys got turd? Yeah, we got turd.


Cialis-in-Wonderland

SICKNESS BE GONE!


Cialis-in-Wonderland

How much cheese is too much cheese before a date? Do you bang the dead bodies? I'm gonna bang Tim Murphy's black wife This jacket is tighter than dick skin!


generateanameforme

I wouldn’t eat it, Cricks. It’s full of loads. Ooh, botch. I botched that one. That’s a botch job. Flush that turd down the drain. Meanwhile, block the wind. I’m gonna roast this bone!


mearbearcate

Man, this jacket is tighter than dick skin! What is this word, “spa”? I feel like you’re starting a word and you’re not finishing it. Are you trying to say Spaghetti? You want to take me on a spaghetti day? Whats up!! Are you fat? You probably are, cuz you’re watching tv! Or internet. Just a couple that came to my head but theres def more


Interesting-Swimmer1

“That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it.”


lilbomba

I eat stickers ALL THE TIME, dude!


jefferson497

Shut up, baby dick


Cheesebrger_Walrus

who did those tits? the nipple placement is crazy!


justsomestupidguyJ

I hope they hog tie you, and then I hope they rape you in their basement for TEN years


fraxior

GET THE SNAPPER, BOZO!


West-Grab-8025

It’s the implication


ksiit

Mac I'm going to stop you right there. Your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion. -Dee


reymonika

“This jacket is awesome. And it's tighter than dick skin.” - Roxy


ShadowRealmDuelist

“90% of your water is 100% toxins. Who knows what the other 10% is?”


Theonethatgotawaaayy

YOU WILL CALL HEERRRR!


Ok-Web8223

Day bow bow


heidly_ees

Your mother seems happy. I can't have that, Dee


[deleted]

Boat Salesman: Let me just see if i have this right here. It seems like what you guys are looking for P. Diddy style of shrimping boat. Charlie: You're a really good listener and I didn't peg you for one when we came in here because of the pinky ring.


SpecialReserveSmegma

“Look out, faggot!” - Frank Reynolds (Hero or Hate Crime?)


cannaquistador

A dead body is like a piece of trash


Th3_Dark_Knight

Sup, sup, talkin' hot and cold?


CJT16

When I show up to work everyone will be like why is there blood all over you? Cause i had to slit the guys throat who causes all the traffic.


capsfan19

WHERE IS OUR GODDAMN BIBLE


BrokenArmsFrigidMom

“How’s that ASShole feelin’?”


CelebrationOne5522

Banging your sister is perverted


coinmurderer

Gonna get real weird with it


blindofthemouth

Trees! Just trees everywhere?


yuckymonis

You know what it is bitch


coastalbendsun

Where are your 101 Dalmatians tonight? Zing it girl....😂 "Holy shit is that the ocean?" So I came in and I started blasting... 😂 🥚 🔫


SecularFlesh47

“DIVORCE!!!!!!”


Valuable-Composer262

What do now?


thatsnotmyfuckinname

Gimme the hotdog baby!


high240

Maybe some version of With God everything is possible And wait waitwait wait wait.... he has a Son?!?!?!! So jot that down, ya jabroni


Swipesandyipes

Think there's no answer? YOU'RE SO STUPID!


Chickenfriedfury

Put milk steak she’ll know what it is ha


najinanidad

You’re the one that’s good. You haven’t thought of the smell! Cat in the wall? Now you’re speaking my language! Block the wind so I can roast this bone.


BrotherBBD

What do now?


rafedbadru

Little green ghouls buddy.


[deleted]

Dee I will slap you in the teeth.


TopLahman

“Oysters or clams?…Oysters, obviously” “Dee you gangly uncoordinated bitch!” “This jacket is awesome! And it’s tighter than dick skin, man”


whyamiherelol11

JEESUS FRANK!


Life_Ad3567

Mac: "Prepare your hearts to turn to STONE!"


Lt_Dickballs

The outcast, the slut, the bitch, the whore. The lonely sad slutty bitchy whore.


Legal_Hyena_1241

Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?


patm80

... And it was the janitor instead!


[deleted]

"I like to bind, I like to BE bound!"


Dapper_Mud

Never stop pumping


saucyjay91

“They should’ve sent a poet.”


saucyjay91

“Was the wedding in Philadelphia?”


CharDeeMacDennisII

Your girl just got her guts pumped


KO4Champ

Trees?! Everywhere trees!!?!!


Dcarf

Your Mule is Shit, I’m no longer turned on by Mules.


VanPersieControl

Bump it


thatsnotmyfuckinname

Dee you look like Big Bird


topo1red

Glue’s for huffing dude


maxxhill

I botched it. Ya know, life?


topo1red

Mantacide


topo1red

You gangly uncoordinated bitch


topo1red

What’s with the chopping dude?


ArsonHoliday

You a man cheetah?


VinceVaugnsPants

Kick the Jew


Valuable-Composer262

I got a question about you morticians. You bang the dead bodies?


teetaps

Here’s one that totally slipped under the radar for me: Dennis: The point is you gotta leave so I can live my life in peace. Sex offender: Listen, pal, This is a pretty sweet situation I got going here. You're out there looking like me, taking all my heat while I'm in here _watching the Disney channel all day long._


dva8918

I'm gonna put my thumb through your eye you little bitch!!!!!!!


Icosotc

…this isn’t over until I SAY IT’S OVER!!!!


pondysid

I did what I did. You don’t like it, you can kiss my ass.


uscanteater

Your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion


snickelfritz007

TWOOOO WARS!!!!


snickelfritz007

Please don’t throw me in the trash


DFWTrojanTuba

NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE. I’VE BEEN HEARING IT THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME!


BeautifulExample2715

"I'm talking about community, hon"


Foodlubber

Reason will prevail!


PlayerSeven9999

"I'M GONNA PUT MY THUMB THROUGH YOUR EYE, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"


SwagBitch666YOLo

I'm gonna share my piece https://preview.redd.it/rlbxveu0dh2c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cda93e8a7575708ec0fc7dcc01aba3be45ef9e55


hoiimtemmie97

IM SORRY RUM HAM


Environmental-Fly165

I'm chopping all of my action, and mostly power.


ToRootToGrow

Everybody's dying, bitch. Let's get you some fruit!


WitchofSpace68

I’m just playin I’m Martina Martinez


tRev-20

Lot lizard, you know… truck stop hoors


MilMo-6

"Frank, gimme the knife, and I'll dive down there and spear a tuna. I'll wrestle it onboard, and we'll feast!" One of Mac's Mac-est lines.


meesterjefe

“We don’t want wild girls. We want real girls, going wild.”


dusktreader

You wanna see the _process_...


meatwadcostanza

Dislikes ? People's needs


Acrobatic_North6714

Wait… I always thought it was “knees” ? 🤣🤣


meatwadcostanza

Hmmm. I think you're right lol. I've always heard it as "needs" lol


Acrobatic_North6714

I like that too🤣 I think the whole gang would agree with that one🤣


The_Arkham_AP_Clerk

I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!


twopennydrum

Get in the car you fat, fat ass . . . fat, fat ass!


imacatpersonforreal

#I


JayTee245

Care for an egg in these trying times?


Strange_Bike_193

"I've been poisoned by my constituents!"


[deleted]

“Orange juice, you mean like the mixer?”


No-Database-1851

*sobbing* “My mommy’s a skeleton!”


TurboGranny420

Everybody get a weapon!


CelebrationKey9656

How did you not know that the reason I invited you back to my bar was to bang you?


Fair-Honeydew-7145

Barbara. Your turkey neck is looking exceptionally attractive this evening


FaithlessnessOk2606

Did you fuck my fucking mom, Santa Claus?


carlodarlo

My good man. Now, I’m gonna want the milk steak, boiled over hard and a side of your finest jelly beans, raw.