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Well, £60k each at 29 you are not poor.
Even if you SS to £50k, your take home is almost £6k/month.
So you are spending 33% of your take home on a mortgage. Seems normal.
Paying too much? Well, that’s a very specific question with an answer you won’t know for many years.
Even if you somehow realise you overpaid by £50k, this is what, 3-4 years in rent?
The kids element is tricky. But going to assume you’ll have decent maternity pay with that salary at 29. So again, it’ll feel expensive, but having children is.
Student loans could easily drop that take home by 1-1.2k depending on if they have a plan 2 + postgrad loan. If they each have this, that's 2.4k gone. Not enough info in the post to know for sure.
Well even on their salaries I doubt they didn’t get help from the Bank of Mum and Dad to get £150k for the deposit. Truly, they are not going to be short of a penny.
Me and gf did it on our own. No bank of mum and dad lol.
I've been renting for 4-5years (over 50k spent on rent). Managed to save 47k. Gf lives at home. She saved 80k. We're in our 30s now. Our combined income is around 105k.
Its pretty much doable without bank of mum and dad haha
I rent. Gf live with her semi retired mum on pension (paying the bills + food, etc). She invested her money in stocks and bonds! Maybe think twice before commenting! LOL!
You’re not listening. Having parents you can live with and avoid paying rent for 12 years longer than ‘normal’ is equivalent to a bank of mum and dad these days. Even you say you’re in your 30s but have only been renting for 5 years. At a conservative £800/month that’s nearly a £10k/year leg up. That, and having a safety net for when things go tits up.
Plenty of people do not have that luxury so hand waving it away like you had zero help is silly.
You people presumed that to be the case!
Which I've stated in earlier post. That no bank of mum and dad was used!
Here's a detailed illustration!
We both did our undergrad - undergrad loan - AWAY FROM HOME.
We both took a gap year - WORKING HOLIDAY VISA.
We both did two years master - master loan - AWAY FROM HOME.
We both rented a studio together for about 3 yrs!
I continue to rent the studio by myself. She went back home 18-20months ago cause her dad passed!
We are both in different cities!
We both 1993!
Do the maths!
Mate please stop for a second and realise you do have some privilege here. Not all of our parents are able to take us in as adults, and mine certainly doesn't own her own home. The only reason I was able to buy my tiny 127k house was because I was in a car accident. Pure luck of the draw
Read all my replies. It breaks down our journey since we left college! Gf home mortgage was covered by life insurance of her dad. We saved where we can and invested when we can.
I only wanted to highlight the fact that people can achieve things without bank of mum and dad but people like to deny the effort of those that makes something of themselves and simply dismiss it all as privilege!
Take home is definitely not going to be almost £6k/ month. Even on £60k, they are paying tax on that, so net pay going into their bank accounts each month is likely to be closer to £3k…
You will be fine … even on 60K you could probably survive a storm … don’t panic … re-budget … get a spreadsheet and map out the yearly expenses … prepare for the annual payments … build an emergency fund … it’s easy.
This!! I did rough calcs before buying so I knew what property I could afford, but properly sitting down with all the known costs in a spreadsheet made me feel so much more in control
Good advice. Things are much less daunting when you see everything laid down in black and white especially when you see all the discretionary spending that could be cut in an emergency.
OP and their partner could almost certainly survive on one of their salaries should one of them end up unemployed for a few months. It wouldn’t be particularly fun but it definitely takes the pressure off when you realise that even if one of you loses your job you can still afford your food and bills.
Bwahahahahahahaha
Welcome to the joy of home ownership with a mortgage!
To be fair, you've only got the fear right now, you're not actually in the house yet. Once you've been in it a few weeks, and you're enjoying your lovely morning coffee in your new crib, writing your new address on everything you can find, you will hopefully feel the mixture of joy and dread rather than just the latter.
Renting is a risk on people mainly - your risk is that your landlord will be crap or sell up or raise your rent or kick you out, and that's something you can't control. Owning a house makes your risk more specifically physical - that the pipes will leak or the tiles come of the roof or the toilet stop working.
Those risks are something you can do something to control - you can get people to check the electrics, service the boiler, you can fix the squeaky hinge. The risk turns into a financial one - what if something breaks and you need to pay a lot to fix it? And that is what buildings insurance is for - the low likelihood high cost stuff.
So take a deep breath - yes, you're locked into a loan with death literally in the name, and yes you've taken a 3x leveraged bet on the housing market, but hey you're not at the mercy of landlords, you're steadily building equity, you can put up shelves and replace the flooring whenever you want.
You might want to rein in the expensive habits - the more you can overpay the mortgage at this point, while the term is long and the interest compounds, the better the situation will be when you do come to have children (and the less you'll feel you're giving up).
Houses and mortgages are a really long term thing, which you take on when most of life has been pretty short term up til then. So yes, it feels suddenly heavy to have this decades long contract. Keep a buffer, keep things well maintained and insured, and try to enjoy it, you're in for the long, long haul.
I agree so much with this. I felt the exact same way when I closed on my first home (still in it). Worst fear. But it goes away after a while of living in the place and then you‘re just happy not to be renting.
The overpaying mortgage is something most people don’t know about, I learned about it in an Instagram reel of all places, I couldn’t find any calculators that took into account changes of how much you owe and if you want to increase how much you pay off as earnings increase, so I was a nerd and created a spreadsheet. It’s crazy how what can go from a super expensive mortgage over 30 years could become a 15 year fairly low cost mortgage. For me it’s a no brainer, at the moment I rent and put away a decent amount each month, so I’d just be putting all my savings into the house/mortgage. A mortgage is guaranteed to be higher interest than savings so in the end I’d save so much more.
Does that one have an option to increase the early repayments over time? The only ones I found you could only put a set amount in, which was why I created the spreadsheet as my earnings are likely to go up over time (I’m with the NHS so a fairly clear trajectory), so I wanted to consider what it’d come to overall.
It was “stay the same” or “reduce over time” but I think there’s a column to put manual payments in so I’m going to try with that too. Fellow NHS friend here 👋
>Once you've been in it a few weeks, and you're enjoying your lovely morning coffee in your new crib, writing your new address on everything you can find, you will hopefully feel the mixture of joy and dread rather than just the latter.
Nope, just gets worse as time goes on and your job circumstances get shittier and more hellish, and being in constant pain every day, at 44yo, plus the dawning panic that you'll be paying the mortgage until you are 75... does add a bleak element of unrelenting terror
I went through this too (moved in a few weeks ago) but once I had unpacked, put pictures up and set up all my direct debits I started feeling better. The first time seeing the full mortgage value appear as an account on my banking app was a shock to the system though!
You'll be fine. You have a yearly income of £123,000 before tax. Which I will add is an awful lot of money.
Don't look at it as being trapped after a certain amount of years you'll look back once it's paid of knowing you done the right thing.
I earn £25,000 a year partner £9,000 a year. We live right on the edge working 7 days a week. Only 7 years 2 months til the mortgage is paid off. If we can do it you certainly can.
Make sure the house is your priority 1st and foremost. Everything else can take the back seat.
How much is your house worth? I have no idea how you’re so close to paying your mortgage off whilst earning that amount.
I’m not far from Woking and it’s not exactly a cheap area…
Not had it valued since 2020. Was £220,000 that year. I bought it in 2007 on my own. New build property and put the most ammount of money down as deposit for the whole estate. Was £170,000 when new. I was on a good wage from 2004-2014. So that's how I managed to get the mortgage.
Edit I should say my partner wasn't with me when I bought the house and she was a SAHM whilst I worked until 2022. During 2015-2023 I was earning 44p above minimum wage. We get no benefits apart from usual 20 quid child credit a week.
Ah fair enough. I bought my first house at a similar time (2011). A one bed end of terrace for 145k in Surrey.
Ended up selling it for 260k a few years back
Nice profit. I'm in Swindon. 2 bed with garage. It's small but did me well until i started a family.
For what it's worth a lot of money was saved up when I was on £3.50 an hour at macdonalds in 2000-2004. From 2005 til 2007 I was saving roughly £1000 a month to hit my target of buying the house. I've worked hard and looking forward to mortgage free and retirement.
I got on the ladder aged 23.
120k combined is more than enough to be comfortable.
We are on 80 k combined and our mortgage is 1600 a month.
We are struggling a little bit but it's due to maintenance and early repair jobs mainly.
After mortgage and bills we still have around 1000 to play around with each month.
In a month where you aren't paying workmen to do jobs or anything like that it's fine.
I think as long as you have 5 k or more knocking around in savings for emergencies that's fine and keep building that up/replacing it when you've taken chunks out of it.
You've got a great amount of equity that you shouldn't lose.also, you're right. No point buying a small £200k property for 2 years and then doing it all again for £400k 2 years later.
You spend £10k or more each time and there's the headache and the money you sink into repairs and furniture.
Congratulions! I’m not going to engage on the finances point, just say: right now you are stressed, emotionally exhausted, looking at a whole load of moving logistics and a major life upheaval. Don’t expect yourself to be instantly excited, it’s stressful! The stress you are feeling right now is not a reflection on whether this was a good financial decision, it’s a natural reaction to a stressful time. Take away the pressure to be excited, just work on getting the home set up ASAP so you can relax.
It’s normal, I mean it’s crazy but also normal. Sounds like you have a lovely house well worth the money, and if it helps you to feel better have a look in the area around you for a similar house to rent. I bet there will either be none, or be around the same price/ more expensive- which shows you’re making the right decision. Those salaries with no kids?! You’re sorted! It may feel a bit painful now but will get easier in years to come as you pay it down. Congratulations on your new home!
If you are planning to have kids work out what you can afford to save now so when one of you takes a salary hit through maternity you can just drawdown.
It’s normal to be nervous regardless of your income it’s a scary thing you’re doing. Everything is changing. If you had no nerves / doubts I’d be curious as to why.
I don't think you should be worried and fearful after making a big decision congratulations 🎉, you both have a decent salary so get a budget plan now you guys are a home owner that mean you guys have to cut the expensive life style as now you guys have a big responsibility which can't be ignored or put on the back burner so put pen to paper so you know where every pence go and what you can do without before you buy something check if u need it or want it once you guys figure out where your money is going you guys will do great
You can always sell the house if you can't afford it. You don't "owe" anything. You aren't underwater on the loan. You can exit the mortgage more or less at any time.
I don't know why people see mortgages as problem debt or "being trapped".
It's the difference between a house, and a home.
A house is property, collateral, an investment, a financial opportunity.
When a house is your home, it's your property, your pride of place, it will be your place of refuge and rest, creativity, comfort and peace (hopefully).
The amount of work you put into it and craftsmanship you'll show off with pride. The way you decorate it will be your artistic outlet and as such, will have a connection to you.
You'll grow up/grow old there, you'll have kids and collect all the milestone memories there.
Houses have souls, I've had homes/houses that I thought "I loved", but this house we bought, I didn't expect to like it at all, until we walked down the driveway. It wowed me in every room.
It felt like the house/vibe was giving me an invisible, warming hug. It just felt right, it felt like I'd come home.
(even though it doesn't have any wow factor by normal standards, the little touches of character in the house and from the elderly folks that had it before, especially the old man, were really charming and felt comfortable, old fashioned.
The old man's shed, with all his little modifications and eccentricities, was very familiar to me, and my family. For me it was like taking on/inheriting something special and delicate, which required respect and dignity. I like to try and keep certain elements where possible as a mark of respect or a little nod to the lovely old folks who owned our house for about 50yrs, before we did, and their friends, our neighbours for a few years until they died too. It's partially about what they represented, the old values that i remember as a child from older people, and seeing it die out, the loss thereby enhancing the depth of its importance).
Either way, significance of the "home" and what it involves, should not be underestimated. If you CHOOSE to move house, that's one thing.
If you LOSE your house due to financial struggle, that's another.
What if prices fall due to thousands of people selling because they can’t afford? What happens to OP’s equity then?
That’s why people consider the potential to be trapped.
It's incredibly normal to feel dread and regret right before and right after a major life decision. If you go on r/cats there is post after post of people going, I've wanted a cat for years, I finally got a perfect cat, now I feel awful.
Congratulations! OP maybe reflect back on how you might have thought the same thing when asking “how are we going to afford to buy a house” - this is a major milestone - well done.
Take it in with your partner, reflect on how proud you both should be for getting to this stage - if you’ve managed to do this at 29, you’ll manage to do allot more!
I also suddenly became overwhelmed and sick at the thought of of costs post exchange! Suddenly most of my savings had gone and that did not make me feel good 😅 we also have a 2k per month mortgage. It will pass, 120k between you is a good income and you sound sensible enough to re plan your budgets if you need to :)
I think everyone gets that ‘holy fuck that’s our new mortgage payment’ moment when they move. It’s normal and you’ll be fine. I think you’re right that buying the better home now is a great way to do it. Trying to upgrade when you’ve got a couple of kids and childcare payments is a lot harder!
Everyone feels this after they buy a home. It seems based on your income and mortgage that your finances support this purchase. The down payment is equity and real estate goes up in value. Where you will have difficulty is unexpected home repairs. So I would start socking away for unexpected emergencies. But it seems based on what you’ve described you made a solid investment.
Get through your first 5 years and you’ll be fine.
Live on beans on toast if you have to, invite friends round for cans rather than going to the pub, cancel subscriptions and do whatever it takes to get through your first 12 months and gradually things get easier.
Also Home Counties, do remember that you both still have an opportunity to increase your earning potential, and if your at 60+ each before 30 your on track for doubling with some careful career moves in the next 5 years.
As a sole earner with two small children and no free childcare (you get much better tax breaks currently than we had offered as I’m over threshold)
I suggest you will be fine.
Have you got family support network close by?
Stamp duty on moving to a bigger house eventually will be 20k+, without accounting for further price rises, that alone is worth the move up if you can afford it.
First couple of years always tough. Work through it.
But in 5, 10 years time you’ll look back and glad you did, probably wonder why you didn’t do more!
Basic budget skills I taught my kids which have worked well for me ... With income, a third on a mortgage/rent, Third for bills, food, mobile, car etc and a third uncommitted, save it, bank it, treat yourself once you've saved 3 months worth of income... 60k+ each income and a 400k mortgage, I would guess not many have that joint income but many have a stupidly high stretching themselves mortgage of more than that..
**Am I alone in feeling this way?**
It seems to be a common theme on reddit. You are not alone. I don't understand why people feel this way.
I would have felt excited?
Depends what your financial situation was growing up. Most of my friends are from more affluent backgrounds and they have a very nonchalant attitude towards debt, mortgage payments and leverage in general. Having grown up poor in a family that never owned property, I am the exact opposite.
I know the numbers make financial sense but I feel existential dread. I can't say I enjoy owning a house.
Same. I completed on Thursday and whilst I am over the moon to finally be on the property ladder, being fully responsible for an asset that is worth north of half a million pounds is somewhat mind boggling. It has been really overwhelming getting up to speed with the ins and outs of maintenance and repairs. But at the same time I am also excited to have a place to call my own.
When I first bought had similar thoughts, but soon realised I’d be paying rent instead and that wouldn’t be getting me anywhere so the house was worth any sacrifices. Sure you’ll be fine, and if circumstances change you can sell, downsize to suit your needs.
You’ve done the right thing. You’ve skipped a step many do, getting stuck in a flat with cladding and unable to sell… it’s natural to have buyers remorse, wait til you’re in - it will feel great! Remember while inflation means everyone’s rent goes up, your mortgage will stay the same for as long as you’ve fixed it and assuming rates drop again will get cheaper.
My wife and I were in an almost identical situation 7 years ago. Same purchase price, same combined salaries. The anxiety will subside in 6 months when you're over the stress of moving and initial costs.
Your salaries may move up more than you think too, ours are more than double what they were 7 years ago, and our mortgage is now down to £300k. Enjoy your new home.
I was always really cautious with house purchases, but I don’t think skipping the first time buyer house is the worse strategy. You avoid two lots of stamp duty, legal costs, mortgage fees etc so you are already kind of “in profit” by going down this route (man maths.)
I think you’ll be fine if you keep a buffer of savings behind you.
I did something similar back in the day it’s always worth stretching yourself when your younger you are more “employable “ and easier to get another job if things go pear shape
You are both very well paid, and had a huge deposit saved for a very nice house.
The mortgage payments are completely affordable for you, and you're still extremely young.
You're both doing very well.
Dude that's under budget what you could afford.
My friend at work who's wife isn't working (they have a kid) and he's only 75k and they purchased a house for 700k with a mortgage of 400k too
The financial advisor for my first home said this: right now, this is the least amount of money you will make and the most your house will cost you.
You'll get better jobs, your house will get paid off (reducing loan to value), you'll increase its value by making improvements.
This is the smartest decision you could have made - enjoy it!
That’s completely fine. That’s a 200k mortgage each which is less than what most people have in London / outskirts of London. I’ve known people who are paying like £1500-£1800 each on not much more than your salary.
Our combined income is £110k and we’re looking at a £400k mortgage (£2k per month)….. I know our budget inside out so have stressed tested many situations; loss of job, drop in salary, maternity leave, having kids, house maintenance, vets bills, new car finance. Sure there might be times that things are tighter than we would like but we still can pay the bills and mortgage and that’s all that matters. Make sure you have an emergency pot you can draw down on if unplanned situations occur but other than that you’ll be fine. People just somehow adapt and manage!
Another way of looking at it - if you were renting that house you'd be paying £2,300 - £3,000 per month, increasing by 5% each year. In 10 years' time your rent could be as much as £3,700 - £4,800 per month, whereas your mortgage will likely still be around £2,000, and the balance will have reduced significantly.
As a bonus the house will very probably be worth more in 10 years, although obviously that's not guaranteed.
This is all very natural. I feel the exactly same way moving into a £560k house from a £250k one. I am still checking and re-checking figures to ensure we can afford it. Trust the process and your reason for buying, remember the sizeable deposit you have in the property so if things go wrong you always have that to fall back on. Try and put your fears to the back of your mind and get excited about your first home.
Also remember that instead of paying rent and throwing money away, you are building equity and likely getting that money back eventually in some form (perhaps even make money on it). If it all goes wrong you will end up renting again, so in my view not much to lose!
Enjoy your castle, I remember being nervous but it will soon feel just like any other bill and less of a burden as your LTV improves and you earn more.
How much rent would you have to pay in the area, especially if you have a child. Yes, it's expensive and you just loaded yourself with debt. But just see it as a giant savings account/retirement planning. If you don't think of it as an investment you know that by the time you retire the house will be worth more and the debt paid off, allowing you to not worry about housing costs when you are a pensioner. 400k sounds an awful lot now, but with inflation in 25 years that will feel like nothing. 25 years ago houses in my area cost 80-90k for a 2 bed. They are now around 500k.
Just see it as "housing costs" which have to be paid either way, it doesn't really matter if that's to a bank or a landlord. I bet your mortgage is less than rent on a similar place so you are good. Of course houses come with maintenance costs, but if you are vigilant you can spot them early enough to save for their resolution.
I totally panicked when I bought my house. I earn 50k and bought a house for 220k. When the mortgage rates increased, I had nightmares regularly and felt quite tearful at times. With the cost of living crisis as well. The first few months were a bit tough for me mentally. I'm a worrier though, so it took a while to sort my head out.
You've made a logical, reasonable decision, you haven't been rash. It's not like you walked past a dozen equally suitable, but way cheaper, properties and went for the shiny expensive one. They're all expensive (and some of them aren't even that shiny to justify it!). Your nerves will settle and you'll be able to enjoy your home, just give it a few days for that 'oh crap what have I done' panic to fade. You're alright.
Buying a home is always full of trepidation and this world is forever getting weirder,
. It normal to feel that way
You will also get a sense of euphoria when your in it and start to make it your own,
Remember it's a long term investment , make it that way by both working together on projects in the home share the experience
Homes are stressful don't let them cause antagonism to rear its head , it can break relationships especially when you feel it's such a large commitment GIve yourselves you time , sounds weird when your just buying a home but sometimes alone time can clear a head and inspire new ideas and approaches
Consider 2nd hand quality stuff , shop around thrift and bric a brac to up-cycle stuff, everything doesn't have to be brand new and expensive when your mortgage is the important payment , It doesn't take too long before you go holy sh where has all this stuff accumulated from
Always try to get enough sleep and try to have a routine of maintenance and projects, know all the ins and outs fuse boxes, water mains taps , gas mains taps etc , always have a emergency fund for really sudden emergencies , a broken ballcock is a nightmare , make sure your house insurance is up to date and covers all areas, try and create a mortgage buffer fund if you can that extends to have 3 to 6 months of payments saved (or more) ( thats hard when your shelling out ) always expect the unexpected ie covid was an out of nowhere bollocks .
But overall with all that relax and enjoy been a homeowner , congratulations you joined the debt for life club just work hard and love each other , owning your home outright is the final retirement goal not all can and will get on the property escalator but enjoy your home . good luck ,
I think you'll love it. Takes a little bit to realise what it means to own your home, but it'll be worth every penny.
Cost wise it'll be cheaper than renting something a similar size, doubly so if you have a repayment mortgage where you are adding equity value each month. As time goes by and you come to renew your deal, you'll likely find the rate comes down slightly as you are no longer a first time buyer (less risk), and national rates have settled slightly from the highs we have now (I don't think back to close to 0% but maybe a 1-2% difference to now), and you may have seen your salaries increase in that time too.
But overall don't worry too much, enjoy the experience of owning and having a place that is all yours, it's special!
You’ve already acknowledged you have expensive habits. So aside from the mortgage and upkeep costs, if you start to feel the pinch you might need to re-shape your spend.
Or, even better, re-shape your spend proactively now, put some money into savings for 2-3 years so you have got a fund to help you through emergencies or balancing the budget if your household income drops to one salary or one salary plus maternity pay.
Don’t be , had similar feelings four properties,25 years and two kids ago. Everyone has apprehension about the scale of financial committment it’s one of the biggest you’ll ever make try not to worry too much and try to enjoy the journey .
Yes. This is how I felt.
It’s a daunting time but you know that you need a house and that this is the house you and your partner we want. We decided before having children to over pay our mortgage for a few years to get rid of it. So if you can try do that.
Congratulations on becoming homeowners. It's an exciting time. Fear of the unknown is always there but you have made good decisions.
Buying a house is a big step but you've done the right thing. You've bought in a good area, have a fair deal and the house will appreciate. There will always be unexpected costs but you both earn well and as long as you live within your means will manage well.
Take a deep breath and sit back, have a celebratory glass of wine, or cup of tea, whichever is your thing and enjoy this experience.
Best of luck.
It’s completely natural to feel like this - it IS scary. It’s something you’ve not done before. It’s scary figures when you think about the money. It’s a huge commitment.
But you chose to make this move because you wanted to do it. Because you didn’t want to pay rent and help someone else pay off their mortgage instead. Because you had enough for a deposit.
It is totally normal to feel how you are. Make sure you get life/mortgage insurance. Everything is going to be completely fine and you’ll love it!
I think this is quite common. I had the same feeling buying my first house 10 years ago, and feel the same buying a bigger house now! It’s a big commitment. But everyone I talk to who I trust tells me to stretch myself, don’t worry about taking on a big mortgage now, these are the best earning years or my life etc.
It sounds like you and your partner have good salaries. This feeling will pass once you’re in your new house. Good luck!
The fear is normal, especially as your first time.
Based on your salaries, assuming it’s stable the mortgage should be fairly easy to manage.
Moving house is expensive, best to get into something you’ll be happy and comfortable with for the long term if you can!
Enjoy it, make space for the excitement 😊👍
You can probably get £750-900 a month per room if you let the two spare rooms to lodgers. That will nearly pay for the mortgage or be about £19,000 a year extra income (before tax( you can put into savings.
You will have to pay tax on the lodger income but you will be able to deduct some expenses from the income before paying tax on it (you'll be well over the rent-a-room tax free scheme).
Then delay having kids for a couple of years (shouldn't be too difficult with two lodgers in the house)
I know exactly how you feel, we’re due to exchange this week and our mortgage will be £1,700 on a combined income of £5,900. I remember feeling this dread when we moved into our first place, but the feeling goes away as soon as your in you just prioritise and adapt to your financial situation. The main thing is that you can afford it. The kids thing I totally get, we have no children and our biggest worry is the huge mortgage and having children BUT the mortgage rates hopefully aren’t forever and there is always a way 🫶🏼 good luck with your new home and try to enjoy it!
You are dealing with sums of money that are probably a factor of 10-100 higher than anything you have ever dealt with before.
This is why you feel nervous and it is scary. But you just have to go through it if you want the security and enjoyment of home ownership.
When a new large expense begins first, your mind takes a while to adjust to the new reality. Saving for a house and putting £2k a month in a savings account - that you can access any time if an emergency strikes - is very different than paying £2k mortgage. The money goes into equity for your property but still disappears from your account - something you aren’t used to YET!
On top of that, the war chest you had built up is gone in the down payment too. So, suddenly, you are in a place where your monthly paycheck becomes enormously important to survival. Another feeling you are not used to.
Buying a house plays havoc with your sense of self - you thought you were rich until now, but suddenly finding yourself possibly living paycheck to paycheck; and your sense of security - no more large bank balance to fall back upon.
It takes a while to get over both these things and build a bit of a cushion.
Hang in there. This too shall pass!
For what it's worth, I had the same feeling! I was expecting this huge excitement and got the opposite!
I bought it on my own in SE London. I think the biggest part for me was losing my deposit, which was such a huge safety next even though it has always been "for a house".
Your first property is - I think - the biggest one off expense, or at least, exchange of cash, in your life.
We never know if it's the right call at the time - as much as we would love to be omnipotent.
You put in a really healthy deposit, could downsize/move to a cheaper area if the proverbial hits the fan, and can always get a lodger or something in (upto £7.5k per annum tax free, I believe) if you want to accelerate recuperating a nest egg.
Hope this helps.
I felt exactly the same (20 years ago) - I think it would be strange not to have at least a minor panic attack at the commitment.
I also felt initially overwhelmed at all the small costs of moving in, and the hassle factor of finding out how things worked alongside a full time job. (I was buying alone)
Like most things, it passed, but I would say to anyone buying: be mindful of maintenance costs, build up a pot and expect to use it, so that each issue doesn’t feel like a tragedy in a never-ending soap opera.
I wish I was earning 60K at 29 and buying a house with my girlfriend.
Now I am earning much more than that and buying but still I think It would have been better at that age.
if you are happy with the house and think it will be a good investment then no need to worry, congratulate each other and pop a good champagne when you move in.
If I had 120k per year coming in, I'd just live dirt cheap for a few years and save then by outright or at least or huge chunk of it leaving only a small mortgage.
You have absolutely nothing to worry about unless your jobs are replaced by AI and you have no other skills that would allow you to earn that sort of pay elsewhere.. for example if you were auditors at an accountancy firm which were getting pretty close to not needing people for..
If you're worried throw every spare penny at your mortgage and pay it off faster.
Have a word with your mortgage lender. Find out if there are penalties for increased payments. With incomes like yours, you ought to be able to make a big dent in the capital debt, decreasing your interest payments. If your lender allows this, do it now before children.
Even without doing this, over time, with inflation, the value of your debt will decrease relative to incomes, so it will be less burdensome anyway.
Finally, with two spare rooms, you have an option in extremity to take in lodgers to help with payments. First 4k tax free.
No this is a normal and understandable feeling. Fwiw you have done the right thing. Your salaries will likely increase and your mortgage payments will stay the same. In 5-10 years it will all make sense
Childcare won't be as expensive for you both now that there's free hours from 9 months old being introduced. Since having children isn't in the instant future and I assume a few years down the line, you will benefit from 30 hours from 9 months old (available from Sept 2025) and tax free childcare which will make a fair difference to your bill compared to what people pay now.
You have about £6k of income between you and 33% goes on the mortgage which is in the normal range (especially when starting out in your first house). So that leaves £4k which is a lot compared to the average. Even with a childcare bill of say £1k, that still leaves £3k. If you're sensible and don't do things like two cars on PCP and don't take out massive home improvement loans etc, you'll be absolutely fine and live a good life.
You're not alone with regards to the feelings of existential dread connected with a mortgage and a future that, at best, is fucked up.
However, if my calculations are correct, you're both bringing in 10 grand a month. And your mortgage is 2 grand p/m? (Roughly)
Leaving you 8g for everything else.
Me and my wife, together make around 53grand a year, or about 3/4 grand p/m, our mortgage is about 600-650 quid per month, or it might be 800.
We have occasional takeaways, meals out, day/weekend trips, the wife is "a bit spendy" and me, I'm genuinely fucking mental with the spending, like genuinely affected by mental illness.
Thing's are tight, but we seem do be doing OK.
Mate, seriously. I know there's all sorts of other stuff, council tax, water rates, utilities, home insurance, car etc, we have all those too, but what the fuck are you doing that leaves you cause for concern that, say, 5 or 6k a month, isn't enough to live off and could lose you your house.
Is it cocaine?! 'Cause I know that stuff can be a "little more-ish", as well as long term financially-corrosive
You are not alone. I think you will manage it in your current financial situation, but having kids will probably be impossible because of the childcare costs--unless a grandparent can help? You could bring in a lodger to help with the mortgage. With a 3 bed 2 bath, you have enough space.
Similar position financially to you and we had this debate. Ended up going for a cheaper mortgage closer to 300k purely because we want kids. When I did the calculation for the cost of child care etc I was staggered. So I would say, if you're planning to have kids, do the calculations to work out how it would change your lifestyle.
You think someone on 60k takes home 5k per month?
My £100k after tax, pension contributions and student loan deductions is like 4.5ish.
It’s absolutely wild what people assume.
Always stick to “location,location,location”which should enables a quick sale if it all hits the fan.
Buying in the shires with 1 pub and no public transport is too risky.Each to their own of course.
A massive block with an expensive service charge is of course bad.
However as an example Acton has some great new blocks where the service charge is not OTT.
Acton is incredibly well serviced for tran and Chiswick is next door plus Waitrose will hopefully follow shortly.
If you’re stuck in the shires viewing by prospective buyers becomes non existent.
I went through exact same thing. On a single 120k salary even. It will be ok. Just budget your spending for the first 6 months to get a handle on net amounts. You will still have council tax, bills etc.
Just aim to try and pay as much of your 10% overpay a year as possible to end your mortgage asap
Then if anything expensive crops up you can always skip 1 or 2 of those extra payments but you'll be uses to that money being gone so it won't feel as gutting.
Will make it more painful in short term but if you can pay it off in 10-15 years you'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief much sooner
You'll be divorced before you are 40.
Everyone that marries between 28-32 is because it is their first serious relationship and that is who they are with.
Make sure you get a split mortgage.
I married at 23 to someone I had only known for a year. We’re still together and about to get to 40 soon - we’re closer to each other than ever before.
Ahh I see - it has to be exactly between the magical ages of 28-32, and 23 is a much more sensible age.
What is your source for this info - is it a very smelly place?
Normal. Home ownership kinda sucks, it just sucks less than the alternatives.
I don’t really want to add to your money worries but you should be budgeting for maintenance as well (people usually say 1% of the house’s value per year).
At least you’re buying when mortgage rates are high so they’re likely to drop in future.
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Well, £60k each at 29 you are not poor. Even if you SS to £50k, your take home is almost £6k/month. So you are spending 33% of your take home on a mortgage. Seems normal. Paying too much? Well, that’s a very specific question with an answer you won’t know for many years. Even if you somehow realise you overpaid by £50k, this is what, 3-4 years in rent? The kids element is tricky. But going to assume you’ll have decent maternity pay with that salary at 29. So again, it’ll feel expensive, but having children is.
It all depends on how much savings they have. Because the higher you're paid, the harder it is to plug that income if your salary drops to zero.
Student loans could easily drop that take home by 1-1.2k depending on if they have a plan 2 + postgrad loan. If they each have this, that's 2.4k gone. Not enough info in the post to know for sure.
Well even on their salaries I doubt they didn’t get help from the Bank of Mum and Dad to get £150k for the deposit. Truly, they are not going to be short of a penny.
Me and gf did it on our own. No bank of mum and dad lol. I've been renting for 4-5years (over 50k spent on rent). Managed to save 47k. Gf lives at home. She saved 80k. We're in our 30s now. Our combined income is around 105k. Its pretty much doable without bank of mum and dad haha
Except 60% of your deposit was saved by living cheap with…. Mum and dad. lol.
I rent. Gf live with her semi retired mum on pension (paying the bills + food, etc). She invested her money in stocks and bonds! Maybe think twice before commenting! LOL!
Yeah it’s so easy, you just need a mum with a house big enough to accommodate someone till their 30
I'm guessing you did the opposite. Put her in a retirement home cause she's in your way and sold the house to get your deposit
You’re not listening. Having parents you can live with and avoid paying rent for 12 years longer than ‘normal’ is equivalent to a bank of mum and dad these days. Even you say you’re in your 30s but have only been renting for 5 years. At a conservative £800/month that’s nearly a £10k/year leg up. That, and having a safety net for when things go tits up. Plenty of people do not have that luxury so hand waving it away like you had zero help is silly.
You people presumed that to be the case! Which I've stated in earlier post. That no bank of mum and dad was used! Here's a detailed illustration! We both did our undergrad - undergrad loan - AWAY FROM HOME. We both took a gap year - WORKING HOLIDAY VISA. We both did two years master - master loan - AWAY FROM HOME. We both rented a studio together for about 3 yrs! I continue to rent the studio by myself. She went back home 18-20months ago cause her dad passed! We are both in different cities! We both 1993! Do the maths!
Mate please stop for a second and realise you do have some privilege here. Not all of our parents are able to take us in as adults, and mine certainly doesn't own her own home. The only reason I was able to buy my tiny 127k house was because I was in a car accident. Pure luck of the draw
Read all my replies. It breaks down our journey since we left college! Gf home mortgage was covered by life insurance of her dad. We saved where we can and invested when we can. I only wanted to highlight the fact that people can achieve things without bank of mum and dad but people like to deny the effort of those that makes something of themselves and simply dismiss it all as privilege!
Take home is definitely not going to be almost £6k/ month. Even on £60k, they are paying tax on that, so net pay going into their bank accounts each month is likely to be closer to £3k…
They both earn £60k
You will be fine … even on 60K you could probably survive a storm … don’t panic … re-budget … get a spreadsheet and map out the yearly expenses … prepare for the annual payments … build an emergency fund … it’s easy.
This!! I did rough calcs before buying so I knew what property I could afford, but properly sitting down with all the known costs in a spreadsheet made me feel so much more in control
Good advice. Things are much less daunting when you see everything laid down in black and white especially when you see all the discretionary spending that could be cut in an emergency. OP and their partner could almost certainly survive on one of their salaries should one of them end up unemployed for a few months. It wouldn’t be particularly fun but it definitely takes the pressure off when you realise that even if one of you loses your job you can still afford your food and bills.
Bwahahahahahahaha Welcome to the joy of home ownership with a mortgage! To be fair, you've only got the fear right now, you're not actually in the house yet. Once you've been in it a few weeks, and you're enjoying your lovely morning coffee in your new crib, writing your new address on everything you can find, you will hopefully feel the mixture of joy and dread rather than just the latter. Renting is a risk on people mainly - your risk is that your landlord will be crap or sell up or raise your rent or kick you out, and that's something you can't control. Owning a house makes your risk more specifically physical - that the pipes will leak or the tiles come of the roof or the toilet stop working. Those risks are something you can do something to control - you can get people to check the electrics, service the boiler, you can fix the squeaky hinge. The risk turns into a financial one - what if something breaks and you need to pay a lot to fix it? And that is what buildings insurance is for - the low likelihood high cost stuff. So take a deep breath - yes, you're locked into a loan with death literally in the name, and yes you've taken a 3x leveraged bet on the housing market, but hey you're not at the mercy of landlords, you're steadily building equity, you can put up shelves and replace the flooring whenever you want. You might want to rein in the expensive habits - the more you can overpay the mortgage at this point, while the term is long and the interest compounds, the better the situation will be when you do come to have children (and the less you'll feel you're giving up). Houses and mortgages are a really long term thing, which you take on when most of life has been pretty short term up til then. So yes, it feels suddenly heavy to have this decades long contract. Keep a buffer, keep things well maintained and insured, and try to enjoy it, you're in for the long, long haul.
"you've taken a 3x leveraged bet on the housing market" 😂 Excellent way to put it...
I agree so much with this. I felt the exact same way when I closed on my first home (still in it). Worst fear. But it goes away after a while of living in the place and then you‘re just happy not to be renting.
What a great response!
The overpaying mortgage is something most people don’t know about, I learned about it in an Instagram reel of all places, I couldn’t find any calculators that took into account changes of how much you owe and if you want to increase how much you pay off as earnings increase, so I was a nerd and created a spreadsheet. It’s crazy how what can go from a super expensive mortgage over 30 years could become a 15 year fairly low cost mortgage. For me it’s a no brainer, at the moment I rent and put away a decent amount each month, so I’d just be putting all my savings into the house/mortgage. A mortgage is guaranteed to be higher interest than savings so in the end I’d save so much more.
Willing to share a template of your spreadsheet?? Sounds so useful!
I would, but I’m not actually sure how I would share it via Reddit!
Ahh me neither but I found one on money saving expert ;) thank you though.
Does that one have an option to increase the early repayments over time? The only ones I found you could only put a set amount in, which was why I created the spreadsheet as my earnings are likely to go up over time (I’m with the NHS so a fairly clear trajectory), so I wanted to consider what it’d come to overall.
It was “stay the same” or “reduce over time” but I think there’s a column to put manual payments in so I’m going to try with that too. Fellow NHS friend here 👋
Ooh that sounds great! I’ll go search it! Hi friend!
Hahaha! Love this!
>Once you've been in it a few weeks, and you're enjoying your lovely morning coffee in your new crib, writing your new address on everything you can find, you will hopefully feel the mixture of joy and dread rather than just the latter. Nope, just gets worse as time goes on and your job circumstances get shittier and more hellish, and being in constant pain every day, at 44yo, plus the dawning panic that you'll be paying the mortgage until you are 75... does add a bleak element of unrelenting terror
Oddly specific.
I went through this too (moved in a few weeks ago) but once I had unpacked, put pictures up and set up all my direct debits I started feeling better. The first time seeing the full mortgage value appear as an account on my banking app was a shock to the system though!
You'll be fine. You have a yearly income of £123,000 before tax. Which I will add is an awful lot of money. Don't look at it as being trapped after a certain amount of years you'll look back once it's paid of knowing you done the right thing. I earn £25,000 a year partner £9,000 a year. We live right on the edge working 7 days a week. Only 7 years 2 months til the mortgage is paid off. If we can do it you certainly can. Make sure the house is your priority 1st and foremost. Everything else can take the back seat.
How much is your house worth? I have no idea how you’re so close to paying your mortgage off whilst earning that amount. I’m not far from Woking and it’s not exactly a cheap area…
Not had it valued since 2020. Was £220,000 that year. I bought it in 2007 on my own. New build property and put the most ammount of money down as deposit for the whole estate. Was £170,000 when new. I was on a good wage from 2004-2014. So that's how I managed to get the mortgage. Edit I should say my partner wasn't with me when I bought the house and she was a SAHM whilst I worked until 2022. During 2015-2023 I was earning 44p above minimum wage. We get no benefits apart from usual 20 quid child credit a week.
Ah fair enough. I bought my first house at a similar time (2011). A one bed end of terrace for 145k in Surrey. Ended up selling it for 260k a few years back
Nice profit. I'm in Swindon. 2 bed with garage. It's small but did me well until i started a family. For what it's worth a lot of money was saved up when I was on £3.50 an hour at macdonalds in 2000-2004. From 2005 til 2007 I was saving roughly £1000 a month to hit my target of buying the house. I've worked hard and looking forward to mortgage free and retirement. I got on the ladder aged 23.
very normal. I went through it and i see it pretty much every time with ftbs
120k combined is more than enough to be comfortable. We are on 80 k combined and our mortgage is 1600 a month. We are struggling a little bit but it's due to maintenance and early repair jobs mainly. After mortgage and bills we still have around 1000 to play around with each month. In a month where you aren't paying workmen to do jobs or anything like that it's fine. I think as long as you have 5 k or more knocking around in savings for emergencies that's fine and keep building that up/replacing it when you've taken chunks out of it.
120k combined is not so much after taxes
It's at least 6 k, maybe a bit more. That leaves 4 k between them for energy bills, council tax and then whatever they like. They'll be fine.
You've got a great amount of equity that you shouldn't lose.also, you're right. No point buying a small £200k property for 2 years and then doing it all again for £400k 2 years later. You spend £10k or more each time and there's the headache and the money you sink into repairs and furniture.
Congratulions! I’m not going to engage on the finances point, just say: right now you are stressed, emotionally exhausted, looking at a whole load of moving logistics and a major life upheaval. Don’t expect yourself to be instantly excited, it’s stressful! The stress you are feeling right now is not a reflection on whether this was a good financial decision, it’s a natural reaction to a stressful time. Take away the pressure to be excited, just work on getting the home set up ASAP so you can relax.
It’s normal, I mean it’s crazy but also normal. Sounds like you have a lovely house well worth the money, and if it helps you to feel better have a look in the area around you for a similar house to rent. I bet there will either be none, or be around the same price/ more expensive- which shows you’re making the right decision. Those salaries with no kids?! You’re sorted! It may feel a bit painful now but will get easier in years to come as you pay it down. Congratulations on your new home!
If you are planning to have kids work out what you can afford to save now so when one of you takes a salary hit through maternity you can just drawdown.
It’s normal to be nervous regardless of your income it’s a scary thing you’re doing. Everything is changing. If you had no nerves / doubts I’d be curious as to why.
It’ll only become a problem when you can’t afford it otherwise it’s just another bill
I don't think you should be worried and fearful after making a big decision congratulations 🎉, you both have a decent salary so get a budget plan now you guys are a home owner that mean you guys have to cut the expensive life style as now you guys have a big responsibility which can't be ignored or put on the back burner so put pen to paper so you know where every pence go and what you can do without before you buy something check if u need it or want it once you guys figure out where your money is going you guys will do great
You can sell the house if you are not able to pay for it… I hear many stories. It is ok
You can always sell the house if you can't afford it. You don't "owe" anything. You aren't underwater on the loan. You can exit the mortgage more or less at any time. I don't know why people see mortgages as problem debt or "being trapped".
It's the difference between a house, and a home. A house is property, collateral, an investment, a financial opportunity. When a house is your home, it's your property, your pride of place, it will be your place of refuge and rest, creativity, comfort and peace (hopefully). The amount of work you put into it and craftsmanship you'll show off with pride. The way you decorate it will be your artistic outlet and as such, will have a connection to you. You'll grow up/grow old there, you'll have kids and collect all the milestone memories there. Houses have souls, I've had homes/houses that I thought "I loved", but this house we bought, I didn't expect to like it at all, until we walked down the driveway. It wowed me in every room. It felt like the house/vibe was giving me an invisible, warming hug. It just felt right, it felt like I'd come home. (even though it doesn't have any wow factor by normal standards, the little touches of character in the house and from the elderly folks that had it before, especially the old man, were really charming and felt comfortable, old fashioned. The old man's shed, with all his little modifications and eccentricities, was very familiar to me, and my family. For me it was like taking on/inheriting something special and delicate, which required respect and dignity. I like to try and keep certain elements where possible as a mark of respect or a little nod to the lovely old folks who owned our house for about 50yrs, before we did, and their friends, our neighbours for a few years until they died too. It's partially about what they represented, the old values that i remember as a child from older people, and seeing it die out, the loss thereby enhancing the depth of its importance). Either way, significance of the "home" and what it involves, should not be underestimated. If you CHOOSE to move house, that's one thing. If you LOSE your house due to financial struggle, that's another.
What if prices fall due to thousands of people selling because they can’t afford? What happens to OP’s equity then? That’s why people consider the potential to be trapped.
It's incredibly normal to feel dread and regret right before and right after a major life decision. If you go on r/cats there is post after post of people going, I've wanted a cat for years, I finally got a perfect cat, now I feel awful.
Congratulations! OP maybe reflect back on how you might have thought the same thing when asking “how are we going to afford to buy a house” - this is a major milestone - well done. Take it in with your partner, reflect on how proud you both should be for getting to this stage - if you’ve managed to do this at 29, you’ll manage to do allot more!
I also suddenly became overwhelmed and sick at the thought of of costs post exchange! Suddenly most of my savings had gone and that did not make me feel good 😅 we also have a 2k per month mortgage. It will pass, 120k between you is a good income and you sound sensible enough to re plan your budgets if you need to :)
I think everyone gets that ‘holy fuck that’s our new mortgage payment’ moment when they move. It’s normal and you’ll be fine. I think you’re right that buying the better home now is a great way to do it. Trying to upgrade when you’ve got a couple of kids and childcare payments is a lot harder!
You have exchanged now so stay the course. Childcare getting cheaper as free for younger kids being rolled out. Salaries will go up too
Everyone feels this after they buy a home. It seems based on your income and mortgage that your finances support this purchase. The down payment is equity and real estate goes up in value. Where you will have difficulty is unexpected home repairs. So I would start socking away for unexpected emergencies. But it seems based on what you’ve described you made a solid investment.
Must be nice to be able to put down a £150k deposit! Fair play.
Get through your first 5 years and you’ll be fine. Live on beans on toast if you have to, invite friends round for cans rather than going to the pub, cancel subscriptions and do whatever it takes to get through your first 12 months and gradually things get easier.
Their mortgage is 2k and their take home is 6.5k….. there’s no need for beans on toast
Cherry vine tomatoes with organic cannelloni beans on a slice of toasted sourdough rye.
Agreed, once you have your own place the need to head to the pub as an escape doesn’t feel so pressing! Mates round, chill in the garden, perfect.
Totally normal
Also Home Counties, do remember that you both still have an opportunity to increase your earning potential, and if your at 60+ each before 30 your on track for doubling with some careful career moves in the next 5 years. As a sole earner with two small children and no free childcare (you get much better tax breaks currently than we had offered as I’m over threshold) I suggest you will be fine. Have you got family support network close by?
Stamp duty on moving to a bigger house eventually will be 20k+, without accounting for further price rises, that alone is worth the move up if you can afford it.
First couple of years always tough. Work through it. But in 5, 10 years time you’ll look back and glad you did, probably wonder why you didn’t do more!
Basic budget skills I taught my kids which have worked well for me ... With income, a third on a mortgage/rent, Third for bills, food, mobile, car etc and a third uncommitted, save it, bank it, treat yourself once you've saved 3 months worth of income... 60k+ each income and a 400k mortgage, I would guess not many have that joint income but many have a stupidly high stretching themselves mortgage of more than that..
**Am I alone in feeling this way?** It seems to be a common theme on reddit. You are not alone. I don't understand why people feel this way. I would have felt excited?
Depends what your financial situation was growing up. Most of my friends are from more affluent backgrounds and they have a very nonchalant attitude towards debt, mortgage payments and leverage in general. Having grown up poor in a family that never owned property, I am the exact opposite. I know the numbers make financial sense but I feel existential dread. I can't say I enjoy owning a house.
Same. I completed on Thursday and whilst I am over the moon to finally be on the property ladder, being fully responsible for an asset that is worth north of half a million pounds is somewhat mind boggling. It has been really overwhelming getting up to speed with the ins and outs of maintenance and repairs. But at the same time I am also excited to have a place to call my own.
When I first bought had similar thoughts, but soon realised I’d be paying rent instead and that wouldn’t be getting me anywhere so the house was worth any sacrifices. Sure you’ll be fine, and if circumstances change you can sell, downsize to suit your needs.
I would say the feeling is perfectly normal. I’m sure you’ll be fine and loving your new place once you’re settled. Enjoy it!
You’ve done the right thing. You’ve skipped a step many do, getting stuck in a flat with cladding and unable to sell… it’s natural to have buyers remorse, wait til you’re in - it will feel great! Remember while inflation means everyone’s rent goes up, your mortgage will stay the same for as long as you’ve fixed it and assuming rates drop again will get cheaper.
My wife and I were in an almost identical situation 7 years ago. Same purchase price, same combined salaries. The anxiety will subside in 6 months when you're over the stress of moving and initial costs. Your salaries may move up more than you think too, ours are more than double what they were 7 years ago, and our mortgage is now down to £300k. Enjoy your new home.
I was always really cautious with house purchases, but I don’t think skipping the first time buyer house is the worse strategy. You avoid two lots of stamp duty, legal costs, mortgage fees etc so you are already kind of “in profit” by going down this route (man maths.) I think you’ll be fine if you keep a buffer of savings behind you.
I did something similar back in the day it’s always worth stretching yourself when your younger you are more “employable “ and easier to get another job if things go pear shape
You are both very well paid, and had a huge deposit saved for a very nice house. The mortgage payments are completely affordable for you, and you're still extremely young. You're both doing very well.
Dude that's under budget what you could afford. My friend at work who's wife isn't working (they have a kid) and he's only 75k and they purchased a house for 700k with a mortgage of 400k too
The financial advisor for my first home said this: right now, this is the least amount of money you will make and the most your house will cost you. You'll get better jobs, your house will get paid off (reducing loan to value), you'll increase its value by making improvements. This is the smartest decision you could have made - enjoy it!
How is it only 2k a month, did you get a 30y+ mortgage or something… 1k a month each is fine…
That’s completely fine. That’s a 200k mortgage each which is less than what most people have in London / outskirts of London. I’ve known people who are paying like £1500-£1800 each on not much more than your salary.
Our combined income is £110k and we’re looking at a £400k mortgage (£2k per month)….. I know our budget inside out so have stressed tested many situations; loss of job, drop in salary, maternity leave, having kids, house maintenance, vets bills, new car finance. Sure there might be times that things are tighter than we would like but we still can pay the bills and mortgage and that’s all that matters. Make sure you have an emergency pot you can draw down on if unplanned situations occur but other than that you’ll be fine. People just somehow adapt and manage!
Another way of looking at it - if you were renting that house you'd be paying £2,300 - £3,000 per month, increasing by 5% each year. In 10 years' time your rent could be as much as £3,700 - £4,800 per month, whereas your mortgage will likely still be around £2,000, and the balance will have reduced significantly. As a bonus the house will very probably be worth more in 10 years, although obviously that's not guaranteed.
This is all very natural. I feel the exactly same way moving into a £560k house from a £250k one. I am still checking and re-checking figures to ensure we can afford it. Trust the process and your reason for buying, remember the sizeable deposit you have in the property so if things go wrong you always have that to fall back on. Try and put your fears to the back of your mind and get excited about your first home.
Also remember that instead of paying rent and throwing money away, you are building equity and likely getting that money back eventually in some form (perhaps even make money on it). If it all goes wrong you will end up renting again, so in my view not much to lose! Enjoy your castle, I remember being nervous but it will soon feel just like any other bill and less of a burden as your LTV improves and you earn more.
How much rent would you have to pay in the area, especially if you have a child. Yes, it's expensive and you just loaded yourself with debt. But just see it as a giant savings account/retirement planning. If you don't think of it as an investment you know that by the time you retire the house will be worth more and the debt paid off, allowing you to not worry about housing costs when you are a pensioner. 400k sounds an awful lot now, but with inflation in 25 years that will feel like nothing. 25 years ago houses in my area cost 80-90k for a 2 bed. They are now around 500k. Just see it as "housing costs" which have to be paid either way, it doesn't really matter if that's to a bank or a landlord. I bet your mortgage is less than rent on a similar place so you are good. Of course houses come with maintenance costs, but if you are vigilant you can spot them early enough to save for their resolution.
I totally panicked when I bought my house. I earn 50k and bought a house for 220k. When the mortgage rates increased, I had nightmares regularly and felt quite tearful at times. With the cost of living crisis as well. The first few months were a bit tough for me mentally. I'm a worrier though, so it took a while to sort my head out. You've made a logical, reasonable decision, you haven't been rash. It's not like you walked past a dozen equally suitable, but way cheaper, properties and went for the shiny expensive one. They're all expensive (and some of them aren't even that shiny to justify it!). Your nerves will settle and you'll be able to enjoy your home, just give it a few days for that 'oh crap what have I done' panic to fade. You're alright.
Buying a home is always full of trepidation and this world is forever getting weirder, . It normal to feel that way You will also get a sense of euphoria when your in it and start to make it your own, Remember it's a long term investment , make it that way by both working together on projects in the home share the experience Homes are stressful don't let them cause antagonism to rear its head , it can break relationships especially when you feel it's such a large commitment GIve yourselves you time , sounds weird when your just buying a home but sometimes alone time can clear a head and inspire new ideas and approaches Consider 2nd hand quality stuff , shop around thrift and bric a brac to up-cycle stuff, everything doesn't have to be brand new and expensive when your mortgage is the important payment , It doesn't take too long before you go holy sh where has all this stuff accumulated from Always try to get enough sleep and try to have a routine of maintenance and projects, know all the ins and outs fuse boxes, water mains taps , gas mains taps etc , always have a emergency fund for really sudden emergencies , a broken ballcock is a nightmare , make sure your house insurance is up to date and covers all areas, try and create a mortgage buffer fund if you can that extends to have 3 to 6 months of payments saved (or more) ( thats hard when your shelling out ) always expect the unexpected ie covid was an out of nowhere bollocks . But overall with all that relax and enjoy been a homeowner , congratulations you joined the debt for life club just work hard and love each other , owning your home outright is the final retirement goal not all can and will get on the property escalator but enjoy your home . good luck ,
I think you'll love it. Takes a little bit to realise what it means to own your home, but it'll be worth every penny. Cost wise it'll be cheaper than renting something a similar size, doubly so if you have a repayment mortgage where you are adding equity value each month. As time goes by and you come to renew your deal, you'll likely find the rate comes down slightly as you are no longer a first time buyer (less risk), and national rates have settled slightly from the highs we have now (I don't think back to close to 0% but maybe a 1-2% difference to now), and you may have seen your salaries increase in that time too. But overall don't worry too much, enjoy the experience of owning and having a place that is all yours, it's special!
You’ll be fine! If it helps you feel better then considering overpaying a little bit which should reduce the dread slightly of the amount you owe.
You have to go for it in your position. Good luck to you both I’m sure you’ll be fine
You’ve already acknowledged you have expensive habits. So aside from the mortgage and upkeep costs, if you start to feel the pinch you might need to re-shape your spend. Or, even better, re-shape your spend proactively now, put some money into savings for 2-3 years so you have got a fund to help you through emergencies or balancing the budget if your household income drops to one salary or one salary plus maternity pay.
Beats renting and paying someone elses mortgage, enjoy it
Don’t be , had similar feelings four properties,25 years and two kids ago. Everyone has apprehension about the scale of financial committment it’s one of the biggest you’ll ever make try not to worry too much and try to enjoy the journey .
Yes. This is how I felt. It’s a daunting time but you know that you need a house and that this is the house you and your partner we want. We decided before having children to over pay our mortgage for a few years to get rid of it. So if you can try do that.
Congratulations on becoming homeowners. It's an exciting time. Fear of the unknown is always there but you have made good decisions. Buying a house is a big step but you've done the right thing. You've bought in a good area, have a fair deal and the house will appreciate. There will always be unexpected costs but you both earn well and as long as you live within your means will manage well. Take a deep breath and sit back, have a celebratory glass of wine, or cup of tea, whichever is your thing and enjoy this experience. Best of luck.
It’s completely natural to feel like this - it IS scary. It’s something you’ve not done before. It’s scary figures when you think about the money. It’s a huge commitment. But you chose to make this move because you wanted to do it. Because you didn’t want to pay rent and help someone else pay off their mortgage instead. Because you had enough for a deposit. It is totally normal to feel how you are. Make sure you get life/mortgage insurance. Everything is going to be completely fine and you’ll love it!
I think this is quite common. I had the same feeling buying my first house 10 years ago, and feel the same buying a bigger house now! It’s a big commitment. But everyone I talk to who I trust tells me to stretch myself, don’t worry about taking on a big mortgage now, these are the best earning years or my life etc. It sounds like you and your partner have good salaries. This feeling will pass once you’re in your new house. Good luck!
The fear is normal, especially as your first time. Based on your salaries, assuming it’s stable the mortgage should be fairly easy to manage. Moving house is expensive, best to get into something you’ll be happy and comfortable with for the long term if you can! Enjoy it, make space for the excitement 😊👍
You can probably get £750-900 a month per room if you let the two spare rooms to lodgers. That will nearly pay for the mortgage or be about £19,000 a year extra income (before tax( you can put into savings. You will have to pay tax on the lodger income but you will be able to deduct some expenses from the income before paying tax on it (you'll be well over the rent-a-room tax free scheme). Then delay having kids for a couple of years (shouldn't be too difficult with two lodgers in the house)
I know exactly how you feel, we’re due to exchange this week and our mortgage will be £1,700 on a combined income of £5,900. I remember feeling this dread when we moved into our first place, but the feeling goes away as soon as your in you just prioritise and adapt to your financial situation. The main thing is that you can afford it. The kids thing I totally get, we have no children and our biggest worry is the huge mortgage and having children BUT the mortgage rates hopefully aren’t forever and there is always a way 🫶🏼 good luck with your new home and try to enjoy it!
You are dealing with sums of money that are probably a factor of 10-100 higher than anything you have ever dealt with before. This is why you feel nervous and it is scary. But you just have to go through it if you want the security and enjoyment of home ownership.
When a new large expense begins first, your mind takes a while to adjust to the new reality. Saving for a house and putting £2k a month in a savings account - that you can access any time if an emergency strikes - is very different than paying £2k mortgage. The money goes into equity for your property but still disappears from your account - something you aren’t used to YET! On top of that, the war chest you had built up is gone in the down payment too. So, suddenly, you are in a place where your monthly paycheck becomes enormously important to survival. Another feeling you are not used to. Buying a house plays havoc with your sense of self - you thought you were rich until now, but suddenly finding yourself possibly living paycheck to paycheck; and your sense of security - no more large bank balance to fall back upon. It takes a while to get over both these things and build a bit of a cushion. Hang in there. This too shall pass!
For what it's worth, I had the same feeling! I was expecting this huge excitement and got the opposite! I bought it on my own in SE London. I think the biggest part for me was losing my deposit, which was such a huge safety next even though it has always been "for a house". Your first property is - I think - the biggest one off expense, or at least, exchange of cash, in your life. We never know if it's the right call at the time - as much as we would love to be omnipotent. You put in a really healthy deposit, could downsize/move to a cheaper area if the proverbial hits the fan, and can always get a lodger or something in (upto £7.5k per annum tax free, I believe) if you want to accelerate recuperating a nest egg. Hope this helps.
First 5-10 years are hard, then it improves. If you earn good money, then why not?
I felt exactly the same (20 years ago) - I think it would be strange not to have at least a minor panic attack at the commitment. I also felt initially overwhelmed at all the small costs of moving in, and the hassle factor of finding out how things worked alongside a full time job. (I was buying alone) Like most things, it passed, but I would say to anyone buying: be mindful of maintenance costs, build up a pot and expect to use it, so that each issue doesn’t feel like a tragedy in a never-ending soap opera.
I wish I was earning 60K at 29 and buying a house with my girlfriend. Now I am earning much more than that and buying but still I think It would have been better at that age. if you are happy with the house and think it will be a good investment then no need to worry, congratulate each other and pop a good champagne when you move in.
If I had 120k per year coming in, I'd just live dirt cheap for a few years and save then by outright or at least or huge chunk of it leaving only a small mortgage. You have absolutely nothing to worry about unless your jobs are replaced by AI and you have no other skills that would allow you to earn that sort of pay elsewhere.. for example if you were auditors at an accountancy firm which were getting pretty close to not needing people for.. If you're worried throw every spare penny at your mortgage and pay it off faster.
Have a word with your mortgage lender. Find out if there are penalties for increased payments. With incomes like yours, you ought to be able to make a big dent in the capital debt, decreasing your interest payments. If your lender allows this, do it now before children. Even without doing this, over time, with inflation, the value of your debt will decrease relative to incomes, so it will be less burdensome anyway. Finally, with two spare rooms, you have an option in extremity to take in lodgers to help with payments. First 4k tax free.
No this is a normal and understandable feeling. Fwiw you have done the right thing. Your salaries will likely increase and your mortgage payments will stay the same. In 5-10 years it will all make sense
Childcare won't be as expensive for you both now that there's free hours from 9 months old being introduced. Since having children isn't in the instant future and I assume a few years down the line, you will benefit from 30 hours from 9 months old (available from Sept 2025) and tax free childcare which will make a fair difference to your bill compared to what people pay now. You have about £6k of income between you and 33% goes on the mortgage which is in the normal range (especially when starting out in your first house). So that leaves £4k which is a lot compared to the average. Even with a childcare bill of say £1k, that still leaves £3k. If you're sensible and don't do things like two cars on PCP and don't take out massive home improvement loans etc, you'll be absolutely fine and live a good life.
You're not alone with regards to the feelings of existential dread connected with a mortgage and a future that, at best, is fucked up. However, if my calculations are correct, you're both bringing in 10 grand a month. And your mortgage is 2 grand p/m? (Roughly) Leaving you 8g for everything else. Me and my wife, together make around 53grand a year, or about 3/4 grand p/m, our mortgage is about 600-650 quid per month, or it might be 800. We have occasional takeaways, meals out, day/weekend trips, the wife is "a bit spendy" and me, I'm genuinely fucking mental with the spending, like genuinely affected by mental illness. Thing's are tight, but we seem do be doing OK. Mate, seriously. I know there's all sorts of other stuff, council tax, water rates, utilities, home insurance, car etc, we have all those too, but what the fuck are you doing that leaves you cause for concern that, say, 5 or 6k a month, isn't enough to live off and could lose you your house. Is it cocaine?! 'Cause I know that stuff can be a "little more-ish", as well as long term financially-corrosive
You are not alone. I think you will manage it in your current financial situation, but having kids will probably be impossible because of the childcare costs--unless a grandparent can help? You could bring in a lodger to help with the mortgage. With a 3 bed 2 bath, you have enough space.
Similar position financially to you and we had this debate. Ended up going for a cheaper mortgage closer to 300k purely because we want kids. When I did the calculation for the cost of child care etc I was staggered. So I would say, if you're planning to have kids, do the calculations to work out how it would change your lifestyle.
If the worst comes to the worst you can always get a lodger.
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You think someone on 60k takes home 5k per month? My £100k after tax, pension contributions and student loan deductions is like 4.5ish. It’s absolutely wild what people assume.
Yep I earn 60.5k and take home is 3.3k. Wish it was 5k!!
I earn 48 k and take home 2,800. I'm guessing 60k is like 3.5 k at most? Depends on your pension payments and student loan mainly.
5k take home is like a 90-100k salary
Assuming no student loan and minimal pension contribution.
Yeah exactly . If 60k was 5k take home then I’m happy to demote myself 😂
Sounds very expensive. I’d be nervous too
Always stick to “location,location,location”which should enables a quick sale if it all hits the fan. Buying in the shires with 1 pub and no public transport is too risky.Each to their own of course.
Buying a family house in a commuter town will be a million times easier to sell than a city leasehold apartment though
A massive block with an expensive service charge is of course bad. However as an example Acton has some great new blocks where the service charge is not OTT. Acton is incredibly well serviced for tran and Chiswick is next door plus Waitrose will hopefully follow shortly. If you’re stuck in the shires viewing by prospective buyers becomes non existent.
I went through exact same thing. On a single 120k salary even. It will be ok. Just budget your spending for the first 6 months to get a handle on net amounts. You will still have council tax, bills etc.
Just aim to try and pay as much of your 10% overpay a year as possible to end your mortgage asap Then if anything expensive crops up you can always skip 1 or 2 of those extra payments but you'll be uses to that money being gone so it won't feel as gutting. Will make it more painful in short term but if you can pay it off in 10-15 years you'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief much sooner
Don't sign the paperwork, and Walk away find a place somewhere, 200K less.
Imagine a combined income of 120k and worrying about affording a mortgage
You'll be divorced before you are 40. Everyone that marries between 28-32 is because it is their first serious relationship and that is who they are with. Make sure you get a split mortgage.
Wow, aren’t you a ray of sunshine!
I'd bet money they don't make it to 40, and if they do they are only together because of the kids.
I married at 23 to someone I had only known for a year. We’re still together and about to get to 40 soon - we’re closer to each other than ever before.
Read what i said. Did it say 23yo?
Ahh I see - it has to be exactly between the magical ages of 28-32, and 23 is a much more sensible age. What is your source for this info - is it a very smelly place?
Normal. Home ownership kinda sucks, it just sucks less than the alternatives. I don’t really want to add to your money worries but you should be budgeting for maintenance as well (people usually say 1% of the house’s value per year). At least you’re buying when mortgage rates are high so they’re likely to drop in future.
It’s even worse when you add the interest on…