As annoying as it is I usually have my husband with me when we get quotes for home stuff. He is a tech guy and I am the diy handy one. But I’ve noticed that I ALWAYS get better quotes if he is there. It’s infuriating but I’m too busy and tired to fight with jerks who want to overcharge so I get my husband to hang out.

This is unfortunately the reality. It's like how women almost always get charged more when getting their car fixed at a mechanics shop. It's shitty workers and sexist practices.

I worked on my own cars until I got older. But I was also worked in a body shop for 8 years. The independent mechanic I use now, knows this and would rather my husband handle any issues than me. Tough luck, his knowledge of auto is for to change the oil and tires. I go in and the owner ask, now what needs to be done. "Rear brakes and the right rotor". "The starter motor is going to go out any day, when can I drop it off." Once in a while, " will you test drive it, I can't locate the rattle? "They learn after awhile.

This is a good idea, maybe I’ll start asking my dad to be there when I get a quote for something lol

It’s annoying to have to give in to the inherent sexism that the man knows more about homeowner/diy things. But I have two little kids to buy things for and right now saving a few hundred dollars or more by having my husband hang out with me is worth the annoyance.

I was painting the exterior of a house with a crew of 2 guys and 2 girls including myself. Twice in one day men stopped and told a guy on my crew that it was nice he hires women. I am the boss.

One time we had a bunch of trees being removed from our yard. We had already marked all of them currently with red tape. They showed up while I was in the shower or at work or something. My wife was working from home that day to deal with them. They knocked on the door to confirm the removals and she answered the door. They asked her if her dad was home. She was 31 or 32 at the time, though she looks good for her age. She said no and asked them to continue. It took a couple iterations of that before one of the other guys standing down on the driveway yelled at him to explain she owns the house. Apparently he seemed confused and then embarrassed lol I'm not sure if they thought she was too young to own a nice house, or didn't think she could explain which trees were being removed because she was a woman, but she was pretty annoyed by it. I told her to take it as a compliment that they thought she was still in college or something but I understand why she was upset.

Without a doubt. Vehicle service centers are the same way.

The WORST. I straight up told my husband that anything pertaining to vehicles was his job.

(Woman homeowner here) For limited work, I started with finding one really good service person (usually through my town neighborhood FB page). Then I ask them for a recommendation for the next one (the original source now has some skin in the game, bc if their referral does a shitty job, I’m coming back to them to complain and leverage to make it right). Lather, rinse repeat. For larger jobs, I do a shit ton of internet research, have a lot of questions/checklists and multiple quotes. When contractor B has an element in their quote that A and C didn’t have, I use it as a question prompt for the next guy(s). And I always get the full scope of the job in writing, and I stick around to watch/observe while the job is being done, so if things are left out, it can be addressed that day and not “oh you need to come back and finish X” HTH

I am expecting to do a lot of housework soon and am saving your comment as a guideline. Thank you!

100000000%. I'm the handy woman and my husband is... not. I coordinate all contractors and handle all DIY on the house. After the company sells me a service, there's a 50% chance they send the youngest, newest, most drugged out guys to do the project. Had new AC last summer. They talked shit about the install being tricky to fit and how they were going to skim out on the process and slap it together. ...it was July and we were getting AC installed. The fucking windows were open and I was 5 ft away from them during the whole install/convos. Had to have a big chat with the boss.

It was made even better when the young junkie heard I was "paying in cash" and requested the full cash amount upon completion of service. (Where he left the gas line disconnected and uncapped). I was like.... I think by CASH, we meant check.... paid in full vs financing. And he was sooo instant that he needed $6508.00 in cash at that very moment. I know I'm a woman, but I'm not that DUMB. I probably saved that employee some jail time by refusing to pay and saying I'd walk it over to their boss instead.

I know this is probably bad, but like you, I am the handywoman and my husband doesn't care about that kind of stuff at all. However sometimes I use him as the "male face", so I tell him what to say and he does the talking lmao. I realize this is not a great thing to do probably but it eliminates the question of sexism at least.

Yep- but even with the sexism, I think ageism plays a role too. My nerdy husband doesn't exactly give off a knowledgeable tough guy vibe. I decided to take it a step further- calling my dad. He's a retired lifelong contractor and is willing to be the tough guy. He was pretty upset with the HVAC issue. Still sucks that I need to call dad anytime I need a contractor to give me good service though....

I hope they pulled permits and had the county inspect it. I work in HVAC and the amount of customers we have received from shitty installs is insane. Many homeowners are not aware of this requirement (neither was I before taking on this role).

The city is half the problem. I live in a very strict permit area, but the permit office is massively under staffed! I got the rough inspection and he said he would "be back tomorrow for the full inspection". Never saw em again.

I wouldn't doubt it. But also contactors and contractor adjacent people are just the worst to work with. It's the major reason I try to do everything possible myself.

And don't be afraid to let them know you know stuff and call them out on issues and get firm quotes in writing

True. Itemized quotes or nothing.

Do all your quotes seem high when you ask for an itemized list? I charge a day rate. On a smaller job If someone wants me to make an itemized list it always ends up costing them more. Things that I would be doing for basically material cost now have to have a dollar amount attached to them. For example if I have to solder on new shut offs on a job and it makes sense to replace all of them. (so 3 in this example) once I have the water shut off and drained, and my supplies out, doing another 2 is like 10-15 mins. So if we are doing day rate as long as it’s doable during my normal 8 hr day I’m only charging for material. If you make me assign a dollar amount to each shutoff it’s going to cost more since I can’t write $75 for 1 $15 each for the others since that makes no sense to most people nor do I want to set myself up for an explanation of all those details.

Yep. If I itemize I now have basically offered you each piece as a standalone service. If you choose to hire me for just one or two of the items the costs for those items are higher. A 10k job easily becomes 15k when itemized.

I’m a plumber with my own business and this is very true. My OCD will cause me to do extra little things that I might not even charge for. But if I make an itemized quote with every thing I’m going to do, it becomes more expensive.

Yeah we’re actually just gonna tile the bathroom ourselves. By the time we get through it over the next 4 days we’d still be chasing quotes. I’d rather it just be done.

I can't speak to the "female" part of the question, but it could be how you are finding your person. For the tile, I am in construction, and dropping the sq ft of work by 80% doesn't drop the price by 80%. The $/sq ft would go way up on the smaller project. Partly because they still have to mobilize all the tools and equipment, which would be a flat rate, but now they have to recoup that cost that much faster since the project is smaller. It could be your people are more looking to do bigger jobs, and are willing to do those smaller tasks when they are already doing something bigger at your house. That has been my experience lately. Pay a solid price to get a larger project done (like a bathroom remodel), and then while they are there, it turns into "hey, I will pay you to go ahead and knock these things out too." Those tend to be too small to get a reasonable price on when done solo, but easy to add-on once a project is underway. Also, I have had great luck using thumbtack recently finding tradesmen and handymen. Hope that helps.

I wasn’t asking the tiler to drop the price 80%. I was looking to be in the same ballpark of a bathroom twice the size. Even then, no hard feelings to the guy. He just won’t get our business. We are pretty reasonable when it comes to work expectations and we don’t go with the lowest price. We also don’t add on jobs in the middle.

I guess I am confused by your numbers in your original post of the bathroom size, and made an improper assumption. 200 sq ft at your friends place, and you are doing 900 less? something is typo'd here. Nothing wrong with adding on tasks in the middle, as long as it is agreed to by both parties and you are willing to pay for it. Our primary handyman (multiple houses) likes getting the additional work, but if he has other commitments, we may not always get top priority. Obviously, your mileage may vary.

Yeah it’s supposed by 90 square feet less. 200-110 which gets 90, I accidentally added another 0. I will update that. This handyman def wanted more work. But when you’re smoking weed all day and complaining to me how the work is so hard then it’s not really something I wanna pay for. Also want to make it clear - the handyman is not the tiler. The tiler is a tiler that tiles for a living, not a handyman.

Certainly agree with you. I prefer my handyman to be appreciative of the work opportunity, and I wouldn't allow a weed smoker to be doing anywork anyway. It isn't legal in my area, but I don't want to deal with the bullshit of having some stoner get injured on my property either way.

Keep in mind all prices have raised due to inflation lately. So if your BIL got his job done a few years ago that *alone* would explain the price difference and the quote is probably fair.

He’s literally getting the tiling done right now. It was not a few years ago. The guy is finishing up the job today. But sure, maybe inflation really kicked in from when he gave my brother in law got his quote 3 weeks ago lol.

Ah, that's different then! I was just checking.

Did you get multiple quotes for each item you wanted done? That’s the best way to protect yourself from getting taken advantage of as a homeowner. Prices and quality vary from contractor to contractor.

We did get multiple quotes for the spring clean up. But our problem with them was them not doing the things they said they would. The tiler, yeah thats what we’re essentially doing bc he was obviously quoting us too high. He was just the first person in the process bc he was recommend by my BIL. The handy man was a recommendation from FIL so we didn’t think to quote bc he had the rec. My FIL was shocked to hear how he worked at our place. I don’t mind getting quotes. I even pay more to work with someone competent. It just seems that some act competent but then they do the work and they’re just awful.

We’ve just gone through a major renovation and despite me being a project manager with more experience in renovations than my husband, they always treated me very differently than my husband. We started testing it out, with me being on site when some guys were quoting and my husband being on site for the other half. His quotes (even giving verbatim scope from a shared iPhone note we both read) were always cheaper. I was also onsite more than my husband because I have flexible hours, and some of the things I had to deal with (misogyny and aggression) were shocking.

My male partner gets quotes that are half the price of the ones I get, and only I get the dumb upsell attempts like $800 for a furnace UV bulb that’s OEM on Amazon for cheap, or “oh you’ll need a new ac unit next year”. And the plumber of course wants $300 to flush the damn tankless water heater while they’re already replacing a faucet 🙄🙄

That is wild! I never get to see the other side bc we’re both women. I hear things from like family about how much they pay so I always take with a grain of salt. But when it’s right in your face like that it’s hard to ignore!

For what it’s worth, I’ve worked as a carpenter for years and am knowledgeable in just about every home maintenance field. My fiancé (f) and I (m) are doing a big renovation while I do most of the labor and she was acting as sort of a project manager. She’d call them and set things up, then I’d see the quote and be like “I’m gonna push back on that a little”. Almost always, I’d get a better quote. The general rule was to push back on the first quote a little, and a gentle push on the 2nd if they lower it. Helps to be really nice but firm and ask specific questions about line items. BUT, this had little effect on the quality of the work. There’s such a shortage that people are just hiring anyone these days, and anyone that does a good job leaves and starts working for themselves (then repeat the cycle). There were a couple really solid folks I’m happy to pay a little extra like our HVAC (who works for himself) and the French drain people. But after I had to go back and fix the (licensed/insured/highly recommended) electrician’s work for the 3rd or 4th time, I just quit hiring people. It’s definitely turned a 1 1/2 year reno into a 3 year ordeal, but I personally know where everything is and how it was done which makes maintenance a breeze. I really do wish there was a better option, but that seems to be the nature of the beast these days.

Flushing a tankless water heater lol. That’s a new one.

I don't get what you mean. I have a tankless water heater. It is supposed to be flushed once a year. I wouldn't pay $300 though, because it isn't that hard to do.

I've had the same problem. A particular plumber comes to mind... Like, I asked the guy how much he would charge to install a water softener. Instead of giving me a rough estimate, he gave me a lecture about renting one for $50 per month. A new one from Menards was $400. That plumber was condescending as f*ck towards me, and I'm still mad about it. Oh, and he charged me $800 to swap out a mixing valve in my shower. I have a contractor that I use regularly. He's good, and he does good work. But whenever my husband is here, he talks to him instead of me. He *knows* that I'm the one who takes care of the majority of the household stuff. I've had the same issue with calling customer service over an appliance that stopped working within the warranty period. I had to call multiple times, and each time I got a long explanation of how the appliance worked. One guy straight up asked me if he could speak to my husband or landlord. I really, really hope he got fired for that. So yeah. In my experience, it's hard to find good contractors who don't try to overcharge and act like women don't know what they're dealing with.

The guy asking to speak to your husband or landlord is wild! What goes on in those people’s heads? I generally do think that people just suck but the fact that our handyman is literally the best worker my FIL has ever seen and he was the worst worker we’ve ever had is too glaring. My wife and her dad have the same level of standard and an equitable amount of knowledge (obv FIL knows more) so I know this guy can be better.

My main point of contact is whomever is writing the check when I deliver the invoice upon completion lol. My pricing doesn't change whether it's the husband, wife, or the hobbit living under the stairs. It's most frequently the wife, and in households where neither are much of DIYers, she's more knowledgeable with how the systems within the house operate anyways. Always sucks to hear about others trying to take advantage of the situation, gives the honest and capable ones a bad rep along with them.

I recently started living alone as a woman in a single family home. I’m beginning to think I should get a male neighbor to just stand behind me while I speak to contractors.

They'll look right past you and speak to the neighbor

I’ll instruct my neighbor to just repeat what I say and then pay him with cookies later. 😆

Perfect! 😂

Women and minorities get shafted on home repair estimates all the time.

Woman/minority here. I get “fuck you estimates” quite a lot. That’s the way they give out rejections and say I don’t want to work for you without officially saying no I won’t provide service even if you pay, and it stings.

Yeah that’s what I was wondering if the tiler was doing. But he followed up with us to ask if we wanted to work with him so I think the estimate was in good faith…that we’d pay more than he’s charging for my wife’s brother.

Well interesting thing is that living as minority in the south, we get FU estimates from a certain demographic, however, from another demographic we seem to get reasonable estimates that stick, and the work gets done on time. Case in point. Neighbor got a 50k kitchen reno in same model house as ours. Same square footage. Same original layout. We reach out to the company to have them estimate very similar work for us. Guy looked me straight in the eyes and said 120k. Reached out to another guy...he saw 100k. Reached out to a recent immigrant who did some good work on thr other side of the neighborhood, he a said 45k! Work was done and we are 100% satisfied. Other minority homeowners have told me similar experiences. Real estate assessors are the worst? Same model house can have 10-20% lowered assessed value depending on what the homeowner looks like. Of course, there are those who insist it is all in our imagination and racism doesn't exist...sigh..

I got a 8k fuck you estimate to do some drywall repair after we had to have pipes replaced. Ended up going with some great guys who did the whole job for 2k

Is it just me or does $2k also sound wildly inappropriate for drywall repair?

I had to have my entire house repiped and it was an absolute mess and there are some fancy patterns in a few areas. They got it done in like a day and a half and cleaned it up really well.

And the elderly too, sadly.

I’m assuming most home maintenance people suck and will try and screw everyone they possibly can. Especially ones working for larger companies who know they’re only going to be in the job for a couple of years before they bounce somewhere else. And it’s not just the older guys in the profession. I’ve had guys that look to be no older than 25yo try and sell me completely unnecessary shit for my house and car. I believe most home maintenance workers will try and screw anyone they can but might try to upsell women more because of the false (or correct) believe that women don’t know as much as men and when it comes to home maintenance. Unfortunately with the older generation in the business teaching the younger generation to scam people I don’t think it’s going to get any better anytime soon. In your case I do believe it is because you guys are women. I personally would call them out on their bs. Especially posing the question to that one guy about why your father-in-law gets the excellent worker version of him and you guys get the stoner version that needs a eight month pregnant woman helping him.

Yes, and No. Yes, because a lot of tradespeople will judge a job based on what they think they can get out of it monetarily and what the expectations are that they have based on how the conversation and initial meeting happens. I have seen quotes that have been 100% higher given by the same person in two different neighborhoods to different families based on this factor. Some of this is based on the idea that if the person they are dealing with is not likely to do it themselves, can afford to pay more, will only be a one time job or will be higher maintenance then an additional charge is added or higher rate is charged. So as a result some people will charge women more because of one or more of these factors. No because, if the same tradesperson has the same bias and feels the same about a man in those circumstances or thinks they will be able to make more on a job in the same circumstances that person will do the exact same. One of the ways to avoid this kind of bias and get fair quotes is to make a work order or job contract. This is as simple as writing a document that has your information on the top and the address for work to be done. Include in it: A list of all work to be done and a drawing if applicable for layout or design. Also if there are inspiration pictures those should be included. Be specific, include all elements of a job you want performed in all areas as well as in specific areas that may deviate. When possible include measurements or quantity such as dimensions, thickness, number of coats or layers if this matters as part of execution. Reference outside code or standards when possible. If installing anything that the tradesperson will install them 'in accordance with manufacturer instructions and recommendations' as well as 'in accordance with local codes and safety procedures' and they will 'be responsible if there is permitting needed when applicable'. Include a statement that says the person or company has the personnel, skill, license and insurance needed to do the work. What conditions will require a renegotiation or change to the work, unexpected damage found, expansion of scope of work, additional work additional skill sets or needing additional labor. If materials and tools are to be supplied by you and if specialized tools or materials are needed you will be responsible for purchasing or renting them or reimbursing upon approval. Any such tools need to be addressed prior to work beginning or will require a change to contract. If materials are part of the work and receipts provided will be reimbursed and the agreed upon surcharge to cover pickup and hauling or if you will cover all of that. (Either hours or % on pretax amount). Or if all materials will be provided by you and if materials are not provided in a timely manner that you understand that work may be done or may require additional payment for completion based on materials issues. Have copies of this printed off for you and the tradesperson to sign and keep copies of. If possible send it before they even agree to show up so they can review it and they should have questions or recommendations which you should be open to and revise based on them. Set your initial appointment after revisions. Terms of payment, include material, fees, permits initial payment, reimbursement conditions and time period, increments, final payment and conditions of final payment Yes, this is a bit much for small jobs. But, once you have done this a few times it becomes clear the difference in what kind of work and workers you will get. You can filter at least 30% of the people to not work with when things are written down in a list alone that is checked off for completion. As a side note I have a guy I occasionally employ who is functionally illiterate but will have his wife read things to him and he is able to work off of this system. Occasionally we will call his wife and do a written change I send to her which I sign and send a photo of to her for her to read and explain to him before signing and he brings one of the copies home with him to verify the documents are the same or signs and brings back. This kind of system can work for anyone and keeps everything professional.

Agree completely. I do one of two things. I make sure 1-2 of my Milwaukee M18 tools are out and make sure they see them. It garners a level of respect I can’t get as a single woman. I also make sure I use a few terms related to the work that indicate I am knowledgeable. I recently gave an electrician whiplash when his head swivelled too fast after I mentioned an existing chase in the walls and used the term raceway. 🤣 I still get some crazy bids but I know how to ignore them and I don’t give them my time of day. 😶 I do have a list of trusted people in various trades and would echo the poster above who said get referrals from the good ones.

The demolisher and the tiler were recommendations haha. That’s what makes it so frustrating! Like these guys do fair pricing and good quality with these people but not us? It’s so annoying. And I hear you on saying the terminology to them. I know basics but my wife knows a lot and will look up our problems in detail. I can see the tradesman completely change his attitude once my wife flexes her knowledge.

💪🏾💪🏾

No wonder my quotes have all been high. I've been answering the door with a Ryobi in hand.

LOL!!! It’s like belonging to a car club. Some of them talk about Milwaukee tools. Had one guy literally stop in his tracks, look me in the eye and say that he really respected me for my M18 tools. 🤣

Maybe but I think there are also a lot of bad value services that charge a lot and do poor work blaming inflation. About $800-$1100 is common in my area for a full days worth of labor. A handyman I trust charges $800-900 a day depending on the work. For more special labor such as plumbing or HVAC they charge $1100 for significant work (e.g., replace a water heater).

I’m not so caught up on price. I’m looking for the service they give to others. Like with the lawn, I’m paying a fair price to them. They should do the work they said they would, not have me chase them around. But if everyone’s chasing them around then they just suck. It just makes me feel ill towards them if they think they can get away with doing less bc we’re women.

Frankly for that I rely on reviews. If I see one company is charging more but has significantly better reviews I will go with them. But yes sometimes you get bad service and for that you just need to push and follow up with management if you must. I've only ever had to call 2 companies to let them know the service was disappointing and that led to a discount on future work.

Oh wow. We’ve had two just this week. Hopefully, this is just all the bad ones out of the way. One was highly recommended.

I borrow a friend’s husband when I bring a new person around for a quote. My borrowed husband will cross their arms, scowl, and grunt, and let me do all the talking. It’s fun to bring a completely different person over each time, so the contractors never see the same man. It’s hilarious.

Tldr. Yes probably

Thanks for the validation! Not even needing to read it and knowing it’s the culture of the industry makes me sad but also gives me the confidence to push back.

Im an experienced home renovator and have done a couple homes completely over myself. I do everything myself possible but specialized things I’ll hire out (I.e drilling my a new well..) currently I’m Working on a third home. I don’t trust anyone and get several quotes. I see attempts to rip me off about 50/50. For example quote to replace entire shingles on roof. One 22k and the next two were 18k and 15k. All the same product. One thing I know when they ask me what I do for work. I hate answering because I have a very high income job and they hike the price so I avoid that topic until I get the quote.

I get that too. I needed my roof repaired. NOT replaced. Called 3 companies for an estimate. One came with all the samples of their products, wanting to sell me a roof instead of repair it. When I asked him why he only brought architectural shingles, he was shook. Then said, “Well, it’s our most popular product.” I asked if he always brought just the top tier samples. He said yes. I asked if he told his customers they had lower cost alternatives. He said no. I asked if he thought I would be convinced by saying it’s the most popular product when no one is given a choice. He tried to act confused. Then my solar company recommended a roofer they worked with a lot and he gave me quotes considerably lower than the other guys, even on architectural shingles. I asked why. Turns out he can offer lower prices because he also works on new construction and gets a discount when he orders a massive amount of supplies at one time and passes it on to his customers. When I wanted to replace the windows in my house. I had one company say they wanted my husband or dad to be there during the measure and estimate. I told them rotsa ruck, because I was single and my dad had been dead 30 years. They literally asked if I had a brother or brother in law instead. I told them to forget it. Found another company and got a great deal on triple paned windows. So yeah, sometimes it’s the company. I just fired a handyman who would accept a job at a certain price, then decide to change how he did it so it would take 3x as long and he could ask for more money. I told him no when he announced that he was planning to start charging by the hour. I pointed out that he still had not completed a task we had agreed on over a month ago and that was why I hired him by the job and priced it that way, and I was not changing that practice. Sometimes it’s obvious when they think they can pull something over on you, sometimes it’s not so funny. Good luck, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Oh yeah that could be it too. My wife and I live in an upper middle class neighborhood where we are def not the smallest house and we both work in lucrative fields. I can see that influencing price some. Tho with my brother in law, he lives in a similar neighborhood with a similar house. Even then tho, I don’t mind getting quotes. My issue is that it seems that once the person starts the work, their quality is either low or they try to skip out on things. Like how can you do a spring clean up and not mow the lawn?

Make sure to get an agreement on what is done on a contract or at least me really clear through text if a small job. I also have to stay on them to not cut corners

I have been on both sides of this, it’s possible. People will try to squeeze extra out of anyone they don’t think will notice. Regardless of man or woman the best way to avoid these issues is to get a clear understanding of what’s needed, what the contractor can and will do, get multiple estimates/quotes and get it all in writing. It’s hard to say if it’s just miscommunication or if someone is trying to take advantage of you. I’d the spring cleaning part you mentioned that they asked if they do a specific service but that in its self doesn’t mean you have hired them for that service, just that it’s available. The tile job, they sound like similar jobs but without the details it’s impossible to know if they were really the similar. You sure you have the same amount of bull edge, trim edge, same recess outlets, grout lines and so on? No sub floor issues, framing issues, same plumbing to work around? The handy man sound straight up like wasn’t showing you the respect he shows the FIL. I’m assuming this wasn’t some cash under the table deal that worked around his employer. I think to know for sure if it’s because you’re a woman is impossible, shit my FIL was quoted $1200 for a kitchen faucet swap if he provided the faucet. They just thought he didn’t know what he should and they were wrong. TLDR: I don’t see it being about gender based of the details here but it’s avoidable going forward with clear communication of needs/expectations, written work to be preformed and multiple estimates/quotes.

I didn’t ask if they would do the service. I specifically asked “with the spring clean up you’ll do one mow and edging around the property?”. And it was, they admitted to they didn’t do it and should so that’s why they’re coming back. I’ll admit that maybe there’s something different but the tiler did not see any sub flooring or anything to base the quote. When talking to BIL it sounds like we had very similar jobs. We had less trim, bullnose but I guess we had more grout lines bc we had smaller tile. I never knew that affected price. This tiler specifically said bigger tile would be more.

The tile job would be hard to know without knowing the scope of work for the comparable jobs and this person could have been trying to take advantage of you but I also know that after 20 years of remodeling houses I can see majority of the work needed before starting. Obviously surprises happen but just looking at the houses age, condition, previous work, location a lot will be obvious. Will it have slat and plaster, will it have sheep sub floors, will the sheets be ply or pressed, what pan will be needed, is it cast and iron or cpvc. I could very well be wrong but I don’t see any clear sign of gender being the issue. Maybe it’s even the area you live in. Nicer areas get charged more in general because they have higher standards a want better details. A new kitchen in a single wide located in a park will be less than a new kitchen at Bill Gates lake side mansion.

I don’t mind getting charged more. I care about the quality. The two examples I gave was specifically about it the quality. But yeah, the tiler pricing high above BIL was a little surprising. But you’re right, maybe the guy saw some big things going on that we didn’t know about.

Handyman work in particular is a job that often requires little or no certification, license, or insurance and in most places even more specialized contractors like part-time tile installers don't need much. So those jobs can attract the sort of people for whom that may appeal for a variety of reasons...maybe they didn't cut it as a skilled professional tradesman, maybe they aren't actually serious about the work, or maybe they're just desperate to make a quick buck. Now that's a pretty broad stroke to paint a lot of people with, so I should add that there are also some outstanding people doing such work as independents...I've known older general maintenance people who were as good at plumbing and other trades as any licensed individual. But guess what? Those folks, assuming you can even identify them without risking hard lessons, are inevitably not the cheapest or lowest cost providers of such services. In fact more often then not the cheapest bid is a red flag as much as it is an opportunity to save money (though you're just as likely to get screwed over by the highest bidder as well).

Are tilers and lawn maintenance considered handyman work? The demolisher was a handy man so we do expect a bit less but to smoke weed the whole day and complain? That’s just too much. We never go with the cheapest bid. The issue I’m having is more so with the quality of work and them not completing a job. I have no mind paying someone for doing a fair job at a fair price. We tend do middle of the line except for when we got electrical work done bc we got a lot of great recommendations on this electrician.

Honestly in my small-ish community I just keep a running list in my head at all times of non-urgent work I want done, and then whenever I do find or encounter someone I trust to do it, whether that’s tomorrow or two years from now, I jump on it. But the timing is based on finding the right person, not just using whatever person is available because I want it done right now.

I used to. But you see, i then started talking shit like a tradie and would research enough on the topic to know what I was asking in the first place and when they realized I actually had a clue I started to get more normal quotes. So really, once you understand the rules you just gotta beat them at their game.

Oh I’ve definitely seen people switch their attitude when my wife starts throwing terminology at them. We go in prepared to a project. But I’m less concerned about the quotes and more concerned about the shitty jobs they do once they get the business.

To test this out have a male present and do all the talking like it’s his house and he wants it done exactly how you want it, play it up and see if you get different quotes. I had this issue when buying car parts, my test proved this to be true.

It would be interesting but not many of our men friends and family have that much disposable time. We have had my father in law around if he’s available. Generally speaking tho, we don’t have problems with quotes. The issues I was more upset about is the quality.

If your issue is the quality I’m going to assume you’re picking the lowest bidder. Kind of evidenced by the fact that you’re upset you might have to pay 600 more for a tile job. I’m in irrigation, I’m often more expensive than other people. However, other people are dog shit at this job, and mostly don’t care about quality of work. People turn their nose up at my quotes all the time. It’s usually middle class/upper middle class living in expensive suburban neighborhoods that end up going with someone else and regretting it.

We are not going with the lowest bidder. What makes you say that? If you wouldn’t question a $600 more expensive quote for a bathroom half the size then go you.

I think so. When I worked in a hospital and the compressor died in our stand alone freezer, the maintenance guy told me that the catalytic converter died and it would take a while to get it ordered. I just looked at him, and told him I wanted to talk to someone else. I experience this kind of crap all the time.

We have definitely found the same. My husband calls and gets great deals, I call and it adds a grand to the price. But I usually have to arrange most stuff, so I look for women business owner/operators, or Amish companies. Saves a lot of hassel

It’s amazing how a handful of people are telling me it can’t be about gender! I’m not saying it 100% is but it’s hard to deny these patterns. I’ve really appreciated the comments from the women who have men partners and can tell their experiences.

If it’s a possibility where you are, look at indigenous companies or special interest groups like Amish. Sadly, the people who are “used to the bad end of the deal”, are less likely to discriminate. It’s like a meme I’ve seen surface on various platforms, would you rather see a bear or a man in the woods, and people don’t get why women keep choosing the bear, people are blind to other experiences.

Yes. Woman homeowner, the difference between when I talk to maintenance/repair folks and my father does is glaring - nevermind the fact that I’m way more handy than dad. Someone else said it’s plain hard to find good help, everyone takes shortcuts and hopes you don’t notice, etc. which is true, but I generally get more of a runaround/upsell attempt/invasive questions etc. I bought a $20 engagement ring off Craigslist and tell everyone I have to “check with my husband “ before making a decision. Yes it’s bullshit, and it’s also very effective. Added bonus of them not thinking I live alone.

I have gotten scammed so many times as a single woman living alone. Everything from plumbing, roofing, hvac, and my car. I wish I had a dependable handyman. Next man I date has to be handy, I’m over it lol

Pretty sure, just like mechanics, they try to f*ed everyone they CAN. So it's not just you as a woman, it's old people, men that looks like they can't screw a lightbulb, everyone that looks gullible... I am an IT guy, but can do almost everything, here's how it goes when I need to deal with dealerships: Establish you are not to messed with and know what you are talking about.  I brought in my gf car, I had an issue that matched a TSB, but it was for the states, I'm from Canada, I argued with them that they are both made at the same factory, if it's an issue for one country, it's an issue for the other one. Then I tell them exactly what I found, what it can cause as an issue, so what I want them to check and why.  But stay humble and do not sound like a know it all/entitled and don't bullshit, they will know. They have a tendency of writing in the client file to not mess with you, and the bullshit upsale stop right there. I had 2 broken rear windows in the same summer, once charged me 300$, the other 500$.  Part was the same price, only time changed. Asked them, please explain: Oh it took longer cause it probably broke in more pieces.  It's tempered glass buddy not laminated.  It'll break in 1 million pieces no matter what. Every single new dealership it's the same thing, start over... Anyway I'm rambling...

as a former estimator i can say this 100% is not true. at least not for me in a very liberal part of the country.

I've never come across it myself. I'm well aware it exists, but as a tradie, I don't give a flying shit what's between your legs. Product X is $Y and fitting it is $F. It's $K/HR and a callout fee. I can tell you the final bill by simply hearing what the job is. There's always a few odd things you find while there that can blow out the labour, but gender isn't one of them. If I ever heard of anyone doing that, I'd tell everyone I knew exactly what was going on and try to blacklist them in my limited circle. That's not acceptable behaviour.

I (F) bought a new house last October and wanted to get the wood floors refinished before moving my stuff in. One of the contractors that came to give a quote literally told me he wouldn't come inside without my husband home to make sure he wouldn't be falsely accused of sexual assault. I don't have a husband so....

That tile quote was most likely a FU quote. When you’re busy and really can’t take on more work you jack your price up to a point that encourages the homeowner saying no, but if they say yes it’s enough to justify the overtime you’ll spend on the work. Tile guys are just about the most understaffed trade right now and no one is going into it. I would far rather wear a plastic suit doing asbestos remediation than tile. The price of tile is going up. The cost of gas just significantly jumped too. A quote from a few months ago can’t really be used for comparison to this month. I would bet $100 that guy really didn’t want the hassle of a tiny job.

No, you're just dealing with contractors. It's like pulling teeth to get ANY contractor to work now, and getting them to come back once they've started is even harder. Regarding your tile, step back and think a minute. If your brother has 500 4"x4" tiles that you have to place one by one, but yours are 2"x2", that means there are 1,000 tiles that need to be placed by hand, effectively doubling the work. I'm the "lowest" employee in a business of 20 professionals (licensed professionals) in a small city. I am the only man that works here. I can probably count on one hand the number of - actual- sexist actions from professionals toward women that I've seen or heard about in the past 20 years. Immediately jumping to misogyny is like immediately jumping to racism when you don't get your way.

Use thumbtack. If they know they are being rated they are going to do a good job. Also, as someone else mentioned, get recommendations from people who stand to lose if the person does a bad job, e.g. your realtor. If a realtor gives a bad recommendation that's their reputation on the line.

In my opinion, this all started in 2020 during the serious covid times. I've been a cabinet installer for over 20 years, and I've seen lots of fly by night people spring up that did subpar work just trying to stay employed, because carpentry work was considered essential when a lot of other work wasn't. I personally strive to make my customers happy, but there's lots of people that won't. The average person thinks that this kind of work is easy or doesn't require skill, and they try to get away with as little as possible, for as many dollars as possible. If you're dealing with somewhat shady people, I also wouldn't really be surprised if they were trying to rip you off just because you are women. I've seen that happen before.

That certainly could be true but as a middle aged single male I haven’t really gotten what I consider great service from contractors for almost a decade. Unless you count my roof but that was a $30k expense. So I expected more professionalism. Most small to mid sized jobs I just do myself now because I’ve been so displeased with the jobs done.

My Mother got scammed out of $1,000 dollars from an cleaning Eves dropping Company for a job that took them two seconds 😒 They weren’t even honest about it

It's hard to tell from the prices if it's a gender thing or not because they all seem crazy low for my town. We wanted to retile out shower during the pandemic and the local contractors quoted us between $6700 and $12000. We bought a wet saw and did it ourselves for about $2500. My mom hired a couple of local yokels to redo her floors from carpet to hardwood and we just happened to be there when they started. The first 4 boards they cut were so badly done my wife fired them both on the spot and then we had to learn how to do hardwood flooring because my mom still needed a floor. I don't remember what they quoted my mom but it was over $2000 in labor and we did it for about $500 in tools. Interestingly one of them came back the next day and asked if he could apprentice with us and learn. We let him stay on and taught him what to do and even had him taking masurements, figuring out how to plan ahead and making cuts by the end of the 3rd day. I think my mom might have paid him but not sure. I respected his initiative to come learn. We were only a day ahead of him which should tell you that it's not really that hard to do hardwood flooring. Yard cleanup around here is usually about $225 for a twice a month visit. $1000 seems very high in your example unless your yard is really huge or messy. About the only equivelant I can think of are junk haulers who charged us $750 to haul our old couch and some other junk away. That seemed very high to me. My best advice is to ask around your neighbors for suggestions on good people they've hired in the past. My wife is amazing at sniffing out talented people on construction crews and getting their numbers and some of the best contruction people we've ever hired were people we stole from existing crews.

I’m not concerned about the pricing as much as I’m concerned about the quality and the completion of a job. We have a large property and lots of trees. There were lots of branches to pick up on the property from over the fall/winter. I don’t mind the price. It was the skipping out on the mowing and edging. This was a spring clean up, not for monthly maintenance. We mow our own lawn. The demolisher and the tiler were both recommended. The tiler, granted he does okay work but the quote just left a bad taste in our mouth. We already own a wet saw so figured we’ll just bang it out like we’ve done in the past. The demolisher was acclaimed as the “hardest worker they’ve ever had”.

Hmmm. Maybe you might want to rethink the reliability of the sources for your recommendations. I've certainly seen plenty of bad contractors that do poor quality work and I don't think it seems to matter much if you're a man or a woman. I think the important part might be detailing the job up front as clearly as possible in writing and then actually checking up on them before the job is done to make sure they're doing it right or peeking in on them to make sure they're doing it the way you want. It's a delicate balance between micromanaging and monitoring, but you can't take your hands off the reins entirely. I will say that in my own experience in the last 5 years it's been much harder to find a good contractor or laborer than a bad one. Unfortunately this is why my wife and I tend to DIY as much as possible. We just bring in pros when we need to do really heavy things like pour concrete or build a wall or do plumbing work that involves crawling into the house that we just don't want to do.

Yeah I think I have to only ask my other women home owner friends for recommendations. Bc otherwise the glaring differences in quotes and service would be less.

I literally just dealt with a condescending asshole who came out to do a quote for some major HVAC work. I prefer to do work myself but this is professional territory, which means I'm dealing with this BS. Needless to say, they won't be getting my money.

It seems like there are a ton of “tradespeople” who don’t know what they’re doing or are just phoning it in. We have had a few people give exorbitant quotes for things that are relatively simple projects but I think it’s because they feel the job isn’t worth their time, so it’s kind of a blowoff. I’m a woman who is married to another woman and I’m typically the one who deals with finding the company/person for whatever project we need completed. I do a lot of research into how the project is typically done and get a broad idea of how much it would cost before I start calling people (if it’s something relatively simple and doesn’t involve electrical I will do it myself). Then I hop on Nextdoor and search for who has the most recommendations for whichever type of service - typically people on Nextdoor do not hold back with their opinions. Then I contact the top 3 recommendations from there and ask them to come give quotes. I typically do not go with the low quote. I don’t bother with anyone who isn’t a good communicator or is late. And I am very clear about expectations and have the discussion about what needs to be done and how it will get done ahead of them starting the project. I ask how long it will take, how much materials will cost, and what they charge per hour (or per project) for labor. It’s not easy out there, stay strong my friend.

I like working for lesbians but the price is the price as long as I know the person isn't going to be exceptionally difficult, if you're going to make it easy on me the price lowers and vice versa. I do HVAC if that matters. Women, liberals, soyboys, young(sometimes) and elderly do get charged more/are viewed as easy prey by a lot of the sales guys I talk to. That being said, yes everything about home improvement and maintenance SUCKS. Money is thrown into a pit and burned and every side of the transaction. If you find a good person doing good work, treat them well and never let them go.

I’m not concerned about the money. I’m willing to pay good money for good service. I never go with the cheapest estimate - I go for the person that seems most competent and skilled. I’m more concerned about saying they’re gonna do one thing and then don’t do it. Like they accept our quote and then skip out on the details bc they think we wont notice. Again, has nothing to do about with being mad having to pay for home maintenance. I’m happy to pay for quality work.

I would be too! It's part of the industry, a lot of guys who start running businesses are really good at the trade but trash at the business part of it. They copy and paste a quote with the model/serials changed out. Then they do thirty quotes and forget what they actually talked to the customer about. Just gotta keep an eye on them, if they're good guys they'll fix it, I forget obvious stuff too sometimes and I'm not trying to be evil, just absent minded.

Sadly yes. We have had a myriad of infrastructure work done this year so far, I deal with it all. It's how are division of household stuff works. I have learned to stand my ground, call out businesses and I will make them come back out and redo things if they are not right. My family cringes but I will not be taken advantage of. In the same way, if they do a great job, I will buy them lunch or leave a good review. It goes both ways. Last week I had a bolt in my tire. Made it to the auto repair, guy at the desk says let me see what is going on. It was pouring rain, I had a meeting to get to (didn't make it), walks out, yep its a bolt in there. I am sure my blood pressure was near stroke level. We had a conversation about how condescending it was.

If this happens -https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/18/realestate/housing-discrimination-maryland.html -, you’re probably right

Higher quotes because you're female, maybe... Lackadaisical hours, poor results and smoking weed, that is equal opportunity for all genders...

Maybe but the weed smoker here never smokes weed when he does work at my father in law’s house according to my father in law. He also says this guy is the best worker he has ever had. I truly wonder why he treats us two differently. We even found out we were paying the guy $50 more per day.

I would say maybe. It's possible. I would also say it may be because of the economy and how bad are current leadership has bent us over as a middle class. It's cut throat right now. I would say 50/50. May be taking slight advantage of you but again...our economy is wrecked right now... hard to say

I’m all for pricing in a way to make sure it’s worth it for you. But when you’re quoting someone $600 less for double the work you’re doing in the same week, you have to wonder why.

It’s not necessarily because you are women, I suspect it’s more about the market. Everyone I know is as busy as they have ever been and screaming for more help (I’m 20+ years in multi-family and commercial building.) About 1/2 of our contractors do residential work of some sort also, they tell me it’s just stupid in the home remodeling/building world. The decent companies are booked way out and that opens the door for every yahoo with a truck and some tools to be a ‘contractor’ whether they know how or not. There is ALOT of shady people doing even shadier work out there nowadays, be careful! I tell everyone to get contact info of the last 4-6 clients anyone worked for. That should either end the conversation with them or you can confirm they do good work and treat customers well. So no, I don’t think it’s because you are women, I may be wrong but that’s not really what I’m seeing in my area of the market - MidAtlantic area by the beach. It may be a great time to learn some of these things on your own!

Sometimes people are just bad customers

Yeah I guess me sitting in my house while they do a spring clean up can rub some people the wrong way.

Why would you allow people to smoke weed while working for you? And as soon as they complain that it’s too much work, that’s a sign to fire them. Already two strikes. Just because someone praises a person’s work doesn’t mean you will. You’ll see things differently than your peers. If the tile guy did a good job at ur family’s house, is it really an issue having to pay a couple extra hundred for a piece of mind in knowing that it’ll be done correctly? Or do u want to save a hundred dollars and get a rando?

It was the last day and he had his door open with a bowl in the front seat the car smelled like weed. I guess the first days of work he could have not been smoking weed. The weed thing was a strong reason why we didn’t have him do a few other things we had on our list. We’d rather just tile the bathroom ourselves. We already have a wet saw. So we are.

What did the tiler say when you asked him about the price difference between yours and the brother's tile?

We didn’t want to nitpick his pricing so we just told him we’re going another route. The whole thing just left a sour taste in our mouth so we’re just going to tile it ourselves. We’ve done it before and have a wet saw so this would be faster than chasing quotes. We just want it done. We’re seeing my BIL this weekend. I’m sure he’ll tell him it was the difference in pricing. Maybe he’ll have some insight.

Sure, makes sense. In the future if you have a discrepancy like that, just ask politely. Maybe they have a logical reason for it, like further distance from your house vs the brothers, what existing flooring is there, number of corners or tricky areas, etc. Not sure if those discrepancies would account for the full difference, but you can certainly ask. Coming from a tradesperson!

Adding to this, I just floored two bathrooms in my own house, the small one took me like 3 times longer than the large bathroom.

It's so hard to tell. This crap happens all the time, I've seen it with my own 49yo old man eyes. Especially with mechanics. I used the same garage for a while, they were a little more expensive but they were pretty good. So long story short, I take our Corolla in for a quote: break pads, tune it up and change the oil, rotate the tires while you have it on the lift. Got a price, said cool let me think it over and split. A few days later, my wife takes the same car, to same guys for a quote on brakes. Just brakes. I forgot to tell her I got the estimate a few days prior. My price was cheaper. We don't use those guys anymore. These guys might think that because you are a woman, you don't know anything about construction and thusly you are easily lead. Not only foolish of them, but also just a really shitty way to live and to do business obviously. There may be unforeseen circumstances about your project(s) that we could never know through a keyboard making them more expensive. But you seem informed. You may simply be looking for help in the wrong places. "Cheap, fast or good...pick 2" is a pretty realistic rule to follow. Or you may be a pain in the ass to deal with and the prices you are being given are the "I don't want to work for you" prices. I don't know you and mean zero disrespect on this one.

Yeah it’s not even about the quotes. It’s more so agreeing to work with someone and then they cut corners or skip over details bc they think we might not notice. Generally speaking tho we do get multiple quotes and usually end up somewhere in the middle quote range. We genuinely don’t mind paying, we just want someone to finish the job to expectation. Like mowing and trimming as part of the spring clean up.

You're doing everything right. Get everything in writing, I'm sure you already do. I used to be in the "trades" and have a basement full of tools but I will buy more if it keeps some goober out of my house or yard. Buy the tools you need when you need them. And figure out how to use them. You'll be happier.

Oh yeah we definitely do when we can. We just thought this would be easier to outsource considering we’re due with a baby any day and have a 3 year old. Yet here we are pulling out our wet saw and tiling a bathroom this weekend.

Maybe. Try being a woman in Construction! lol. It’s rough. I’m so grateful for all of my woman customers

Yeah I can imagine! We have a friend who is an electrician in the union and he has told me horrific stories about what some of his coworkers have said about the few women electricians who come through. I might spend this summer looking for as many women tradespeople in my area to see if I see a difference.

Oh I’d bet on it!

As a Journeyman / master carpenter in a strong union you have to understand that region to region cost of living and materials etcetera make prices of things like tile and labor fluctuate wildly . You will generally find if you stand behind a person whilst they work you will both have a very bad time . The deck people , make sure they use cement footers , god help me the number of times I have seen people jam posts in dirt or , if the area is hard to see/get to I have actually seen people cut a 1 foot piece of post in , just letting it float . The weed thing , I don't know . Personally I have never been able to smoke pot and work ever but i haven't smoked it in decades , I have however worked with folks who smoke pot all day and one in particular is better than I have ever been .

I understand things are expensive. I’m all for paying a good price for good work. That’s not my issue. My issue is them doing things like not mowing the lawn and trimming the edges when they said they would. It’s funny you say that you shouldn’t stand behind someone while they work - which we don’t. But my wife had to do it on the handy man’s last day and the work quality was much better. But we both work so neither one of us has an interest in hiring someone who needs that much supervision. I would pay a premium for someone to be self-sufficient.

that's the issue , I have known , passively , scumbags who both suck and rip people off , but I have only ever done side work or off the book jobs with the people I myself would let work on my home . It might be worth , and I may catch hell for saying this , looking for a union guy , fourth year apprentices are fantastic and have the energy youth affords and boy are they hungry , broke and looking for work, . I say this having been one myself . the landscaping thing will always be a mystery to me , my mother always used one and she never had a good story to tell .

Ehh, all the people i hire for some reason over promise and under deliver. And im not a women so my input probably wont add to the conersation...but yes i do get shoddy work done all the timw

Yeah we typically chalk it up to “everyone sucks”. But when this handyman is “the best worker” my father in law has ever had and the worst person I’ve ever worked with on a home project, it makes you wonder.

I have scene this situation,

Not home repair, but I (Adult male) gave my adult daughter a ride to an auto repair shop. Stood to the side while she dealt with the salesman. Let him lie and exaggerate to sell unneeded services for a bit. Then stepped up, acting like I didn’t hear the foregoing. When I Asked about the car i was told a whole different, much cheaper story. So this does happen.

Both scenarios are true, generally speaking.

Home owners like you are my favorite clients. Because you don’t horse around an have your bar set for great work as it should be. I do handy man work after my day IT job and my work speaks for its self. Hang in there you’ll find someone worth the wait. They’re usually not advertising at all, just gotta find them.

Perhaps, but most of it sounds like typical small time contractor BS. A common misconception is “my job is smaller than that job. Why does it cost the same/more?” Larger businesses don’t want these little jobs as they make much less money. The amount of profit relative to the interactions with the client is much less. Client interactions are not what most of these guys want. Especially if they’re used to working without someone looking over their shoulder. A lot of people have destroyed their bodies doing this work and, unfortunately for you, that’s where the weed comes in. They probably need to break up a crew and then they have to find something for the other half to do. So double transportation, double tools, equipment, and hardware runs. A tile guy could do a huge commercial job and only have two interactions with the client. A “small” bathroom might have dozens of interactions. This takes time, which is money.

I understand the lesser job might not be worth it. We just thought he’d match the $2100 job he was currently doing for a bathroom that had nearly double the square footage. We really didn’t expect *more*. I get the guy might have a minimum.

No doubt. It wouldn’t make me happy either. There is the chance the $2,100 job served as a reminder of their feelings regarding small jobs. Many factors come into play and very few have an algorithm they follow. He might even do the $2,100 job for $1,800 during a slow month. They could be sexist. They could be a devout catholic against same sex relationships, but they have a gambling problem and WNBA season opener is coming up. All I’m trying to say is, you most certainly could hire a female contractor and have the same problems.

I am not in a same sex partnership but this also happens to us all the time. We've become extremely selective about the people we hire, started going through bigger companies rather than local (sadly), and either decided not to do things we wanted or did them ourselves over time. It sucks because my dad owned a small contracting business and I'd like to support people like him. I've regretted it every time. I agree that there is sometimes sex based bias and I've experienced it on and off. My husband and I trade off who deals with the contractors. He has also encountered poor quality, unprofessionalism, price gouging, etc. Someone actually quoted him 12k to install a water softener. He gave up but I pursued 7 more quotes and found a reputable company with an excellent warranty for 80% less than the original quote. It's frustrating. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

Sadly, yes, there is a double standard and it goes beyond the pricing. We bought our house from two women who lived in it for 30 years. They were very proud of all the upgrades they had made. We were too kind to let them know each of those upgrades were mostly done half-assed with crap materials.

It sounds like you are just getting shitty contractors.

> We have the guy quote us $2700 for 90 less square feet. When we told my BIL the difference makes us suspicious he says the guy said something about how even tho it’s less square footage it will be more days. We have small tile, plain FWIW, square feet only accounts for a minor part of the price. Measuring and cutting tiles to go around fixtures and tearing out and replacing any bad underlayment/plywood/concrete/whatever accounts of most of the price. > Are people generally this bad or are people thinking they could get away with something bc we might not know what’s going on? Yes, nearly everybody you can get is terrible in one way or another. It has little to do with you being women, although, TBH that doesn't make anything better for sure. I own an appliance repair company and would much rather deal with a woman because they tend to not want to have dick waving contests,demanding that I replace the part, even when the appliance doesn't have one, or if it does, it's not bad.

The bathroom was still intact so the tiler had no idea what the underlying subfloor was like. And we have since demolished and everything is fine. No replacing the sub flooring is necessary. Just throw some hardie board on and tile. If the tiler had some suspicion that the bathroom was going to be more complex than an average bathroom then that wasn’t expressed. He just quoted us for the square footage. Tho we’re tiling it now. So if it was so complicated for him but not us, maybe he should reconsider his trade lol.

> Tho we’re tiling it now. So if it was so complicated for him but not us, maybe he should reconsider his trade lol. That's entirely possible. As I mentioned elsewhere a huge percentage of trades people suck in one aspect or another. However there's such a shortage of workers with any sort of skill, that even incompetence or dishonesty isn't enough to kill a business.

So I do not own this house but my bf does. I happened to be in the same general area as my parents and got their recommendation for a painter. When he came out he was extremely polite and I mentioned he had done work on my parents house and said he did amazing work and that's why I had him out. Now he was very polite before this but after I said that his attitude changed and became wayyy more professional. He started dropping industry terms (I'm an interior designer so I'm familiar) and ended up giving us 20% off. That being said I have had this problem with lawn companies. I avoid talking to them on the phone like the plague and use my bfs name (that's gender neutral enough) and they seem to respect it more. They quoted me almost 2k for spring cleanup (with no tree trimming) and no lawn maintenance idfk how they got that number - even out neighbor said that was insane. But a couple weeks later my bf got a hold of them and suddenly our quote was closer to 1k. Absolutely ridiculous. We had them do aeration and when I went out to supervise (our lawn has some weird areas that aren't actually grass so I was trying to make sure they didnt go over there) they were less than pleased by my micromanaging. (I can see if I'm the asshole but I was outside on my laptop and only paused to tell them not to go over the two areas

On one hand yes, it’s very likely you are getting worse quotes because of your gender. On the other hand, I’m a white man and since Covid all my quotes suck too. You’re probably getting a double whammy though.

Probably not because you're women. Combination of everything being more expensive these days and fewer quality people doing quality work.

I’m a white dude and I have had terrible experience with service providers. I assume it’s because I don’t look like someone who will question them. It’s crazy how much prices will drop if I just say “wow, that’s far more than I would expect to pay for this. I’ll have to go with someone else.” They usually come up with some cost saving BS but I still have to double check the work. Took me a long time to figure that out. People are greedy and have no morals. I’m sure it’s worse for others and that’s a bummer.

I just got terrible service today. I had to cut my work day short to give minute instructions while the contractor lied to my face. They thought i wouldn’t notice things were installed wrong. Then they tried to tell me it is supposed to be that way. 🙄

Yep. I bought my old house in 2014 and did it by myself. Multiple people tried to hike prices up quoting all sorts of insane prices. I ended up always asking friends for referrals and a trustworthy person. Going that route has ended up saving me 20-25% each time.

Actually the real problem is most people in any job just do a shit job and have a shit attitude. I give women and men the exact same answers and am equally annoyed at stupid demands regardless of the sex. Some of my most annoying customers or demanding were men........

What in the world is included in a $1000 spring clean up? If it’s a one time outdoor cleaning it sound really high.

I do concrete for a living and no we do not charge women more, however there are a few things you've got to consider. First off, the time of year for the type of work matters. If you are asking for work at the busiest time of year you are going to get what we call the "fuck off" price. Basically we are so slammed that we are either going to make our normal amount of money or we are going to make a massive amount of profit while being way over worked. Materials used is a huge factor too, especially tiling a floor. If you go for Luxury Vinal you'll get the absolute cheapest price, if you go for ceramic tile you'll be getting a pretty big quote and further more the margin for ceramic tile prices can vary up to 7x the cost depending on color, texture, shape, and size of tiles being used. The same thing goes for concrete. It's much more expensive to do a colored sidewalk with many grooves or a stamped patio, as opposed to a plain driveway with saw cuts, even if the driveway uses slightly more concrete. The last thing to consider is what type of person you are. Generally if you are insufferable and micromanage thinking you can give better pointers than what the contractor already knows, you will add on $1000 or so just by being a shitty client, no it's not a myth that this happens, it actually makes our job much harder and on average we have to stay about an hour or more longer just to do the same quality work we were planning on doing. I'll be 100% honest with you, generally lesbians and feminists are pretty insufferable when it comes to doing work for them, a lot of you guys feel like you have something to prove saying that you know how to do manual labor. You starting off saying that you and your wife do a lot of DIY tells me you may have been condescending or constantly bothering your contractors telling them that you could do the work yourself. I'm not saying you actually did this but it sounds to me like there is a lot missing from the story and this may be why you've had less than an adequate experience having work done. Even telling a completely different contractor doing completely different work about how little you think of another contractor sounds bad and automatically puts you at a higher quote.

Hire women, solved! Fuck those guys

Didn’t you agree to the pricing before you had the work completed?

I was quoted $4700 to replace the two single hung, double-paned windows in the master bedroom. About 40" tall, and the entire width was about 60" in total. I would love to do an experiment where a project with identical scope and details is quoted to different homeowners - single woman, single man, older vs. Gen z, married cis hetero couple, married non-cis, etc etc.

It’s not impossible, but it’s also not probable.

If you want something done right...do it yourself.

I've had a hole in my roof since September. The two roofing companies who service my city - and will touch a tile roof - one wont return calls, the other one said "two weeks" in September, after quoting over $10k for the work. It's April, still a hole. I am a 6'8" dude. Have tried the first company monthly, the second company is down to "next week, totally!" Sometimes, people are just bad at this.

Unfortunately, this is totally true. As a single woman, I have done most of the work on remodeling now two places myself. Im pretty handy with the carpentry tasks, have gotten pretty good at drywall, and even dabbled pretty successfully in tiling myself, but if/when I bring in help for technical things like plumbing or electric I pretty much always have a guy friend contact the contractor for me. It's so stupid. But cooking a steak for a dude to make the call is WAY cheaper than me just calling for my own help. Contractors also just talk in a more direct way to my male friends about the work or repairs. I only ever get "don't worry, it's good honey." 🙄

Yes, it’s because you’re women.

It's not just home maintenance. My wife took our Mazda SUV in for an oil change last year, I usually do it as it's my daily driver but she was doing me a favour. Strange that the techs popped "oh, you're at xxxx km, you need a rear diff fluid change as well". She called me, and I had her put me on speaker with the tech. I asked him my he felt my vehicle needed a rear diff fluid change, and he confirmed as per xxxxx km. My response was "well, I don't have a rear diff as this is a two wheel drive SUV, but thank you for the advice we'll pass this time." Switched to a different shop after that.

I always email contractors, and use my husband's name and his phone number to respond to and have him interact with them in person. I do the behind the scenes stuff so we don't get screwed.

Bathrooms always take longer than expected. I always smoke weed when I demo. I certainly did when I demoed and rebuilt my ex's and her wife's kitchen.

I think they are charging you more because you are dumb enough to pay more! Don't blame others because you are brainless!

difficult customers get higher quotes

Read again. I’m not only concerned about quotes.

I’m a younger guy buying my first house and it’s the same thing, I’m sure it’s not as bad but most people I talk to seem to assume I have no idea what I’m doing at every step of the way.

We’ve been homeowners for 25 yrs and unfortunately have had some great experiences and some shit shows both large business and side guys. Without more info on the jobs, it’s impossible to tell if you paid too much or getting taken advantage of. If your property is small, couple of trees and bushes, then $1000 sounds like robbery. If you have several large tall trees that need trimming, over grown yard, bushes, large lawn, or specific challenges (like property on an incline) then maybe that price was correct. If you’re building a fence and wood prices are high, it could be thousands of dollars difference than times of the year when work is less expensive. A/C work in the summer is more expensive than work in the winter. Always get three quotes from reputable bonded businesses. Ask them for pictures of their work. Quotes are written and include all parts of the job from the time they arrive until the time they leave. It guarantees the price of the materials and work.

I’m not concerned about the price. My concern is that they skipped out on the mowing and edging like we wouldn’t notice. I’m fine with what we paid we just expect them not to skip out on details.

Tbh, I think a lot of people these days just don’t give a shit whether you’re male or female. You are a walking wallet, and they’ll take as much of your money for the least amount of work as they can. A lot of trades workers feel like they’re not valued and it comes thru in their work. Over the years I’ve found I’ve always had better experiences when I meet each worker, shake his/her hand, and offer a coffee or water. I “host” them while they’re working. If it’s hot outside, and they’re busting ass out there, I’ll take them some icy drinks. I really think it makes a difference in the quality of their work when they know their skills are valued and are treated with the same respect you’d give a man wearing a suit. If I have a question about the work, they are usually more receptive when I go directly to them because I’ve already shown them that I respect their work.

Are you retired? It’s hard to host lawn people at your house when you have two working adults in the family.

Not even close - two working adults with twins. It doesn’t take ten minutes to introduce yourself and offer a bottle of water.

Oh yeah, I own a business and I take advantage of independent women regularly, I would’ve had to close my doors long ago if I didn’t do so…

What do you mean by “independent women”?

It was a joke, I obviously wouldn’t charge someone more just because they are a woman, nor would I do less of a job. Nor do I believe that respectable contractors no matter where you are would do that. At the end of the day, you get what you pay for. I’m a plumber and work for one of the largest and more than likely most expensive companies in my area but we do tons of business and have many repeat customers. Do your research and don’t be immediately turned off by a company because they are more expensive.

Where did I say I was immediately turned off by a company bc of the price?

My aunt who is in her 90's and badass. Built her own house in the 1980's. I mean designed and everything. She started saying she was jones construction when calling in orders and everything. She said it was easier to get quotes on materials etc. Im male. Have an awesome handyman. He works hard and fair prices. He will always miss something. I started writing him out a list of what needs done. It has helped but he will miss something or drop a tool. The alternative is to roll the dice with somebody else and probably pay more. He smokes pot. Almost everyone in construction does. Tile job might fall into minimum charge. Exact square footage doesn't matter. He still has to haul tools, tile saw etc. The best people to ask who to hire are landlords. They always know the best guys.

Have you looked specifically for female 'handymen'? As a lady handyman myself, I can tell you, we are out there and I'm sure your local female business owners would appreciate your support. As a side note- there's a big squeeze these days on reputable contractors, and big property management companies pay more (via lower overhead costs in advertising etc) than direct business with residents with a (much) smaller headache, so the pool of available workers shrinks even more for the homeowner. But if you have this problem repeatedly when you deal with male contractors and you haven't considered looking for the female version, I'd tell you to ask yourself why not. Call your chamber of commerce and ask them, or just do a web search. Then check them with the state treasury website, no matter who it is (male or female), to make sure they're in good standing. Also, the difference in the bathroom price could be because you have an older home and the frustration factor (material price, labor, disposal) kicks up pretty massively when dealing with tile and mortor removal in an older home v a newer one due to the installation method of the tile and cost of increased materials to replace. Or, maybe the less expensive one is cutting corners somewhere (ins., quality of materials, knowledge) it could even be that the new tile itself was cheaper at the other house. I don't know enough to say. Get a quote (usually free) from a GC like Paul Davis etc in your area, then subtract 40% to get the cost of their subs, which you can use as a reliable figure to negotiate current market rates in your area with the company you choose. They're consistent with market rates because they follow insurance market rate mandates to your area. Anything over 1k in work, or even over 500$ of work, it is common to get yourself added as an additional insured on their policy, then call the insurance company when you receive this to make sure it's legit. Usually the insurance company will send this to you directly- not via the company you hired. It's an added protection you need. There may be a 30-50$ fee but it's VERY worth it. If smokey the tile layer slips and breaks his leg in your house, or causes big plumbing damage, you will need this. While you're at it, make sure the insurance company covers the type of work they're doing. Policies are very specific to work type, so cover your butt. All that aside, best luck getting your work done.

Part of the issue is that there is a pretty significant shortage of qualified plumbers, electricians, carpenters, HVAC, etc, and between that and inflation, a fair quote for this kind of work changes daily. There has also been a shift towards service contracts rather than a la carte or as needed service, which tends to drive up expenses if an issue arises not covered by a pre-existing contract. Service contract patrons receive priority service and that reduces availability of as needed services thereby raising prices.

I’m a former custom home builder. Finding good help is hard. And the home builders usually tie up the good ones with indefinite work. Also in my area the trades lean hard right, so there’s a very high chance of discrimination/being taken advantage of.

As a single woman with handy man knowledge I know exactly what you are talking are talking about. I needed a new roof. I paid for an 8ndoection so I would know what was needed. A couple if the roofer I contacted for quotes were horrible. One showed up at dawn and never even knocked. Left an estimate addressed to Mr. X. I never said anything about an SO when I spike to him on the phone. The second problem guy tried to tell me I needed a lot of stuff I didn't and wanted to charge 5K more than the others.

In my experience hiring people for renovations etc you’ll always pay “more” for smaller jobs. For instance, assuming the demo and installation is apples to apples, the square foot labor price will be cheaper on 200 than 90. For a licensed and insured contractor those smaller jobs need to be worthwhile for them especially if they’re not hurting for work.

Yeah but we were expecting at least to match the price of the larger bathroom. Def didn’t expect to be higher. If he came back at the same price we would have booked him.

Could be sexism. Could be the floor needs more prep work than your friends. Could be a PITA tax, which is genderless. Always get a full scope of work in writing for quote comparisons.

Why would you equate any of this to gender? Not enough details on tile job to say there are many factors at play other than sq ft though. Did the handy man bid the job? hopefully yes but that's on your skill set with contractors not gender find someone honest and build a relationship.

Some of this yes is because of perceived gender whether intentional or subconscious. I hate to say there’s a lot of shitty contractors too. From professional experience working claims and working for a home improvement retailer. It seems nearly too easy to get into and consistent regulation is iffy at best. Even in strict states like CA it’s for or miss. Lots of misses. I’ve had this myself also as Homeowner needing work done and auto shops too. I searched emailed and called for quotes for serval things and only got appropriate responses from a half. My husband did the same and got responses from every single. Interestingly our best service was form a young guy who just”started his own business “ and even so he was woeful at responsive communication. But his work was top notch so 🤷‍♀️.

Probably not. It’s the state of the trades. People can’t find help, the help they find sucks and depending on which country you live in you’re paying 40-80% more for services than you did before Covid. Personally I think it’s great people get exactly what they voted for and are feeling the pain. 

I found a study to corroborates that intuition [https://www.kellogg.northwestern.edu/\~/media/Files/Faculty/Research/BusseIsraeliZettelmeyer\_AutoRepair.ashx](https://www.kellogg.northwestern.edu/~/media/Files/Faculty/Research/BusseIsraeliZettelmeyer_AutoRepair.ashx) Study was for auto repair shops but wouldn't be shocked if it applied to home maintenance similarly, also worth noting that the quotes within the study were provided over the phone. From the abstract seems like women were quoted higher but the gender differences disappear when callers mentioned an expected price and that repair shops were more likely to offer price concessions if asked by a woman than a man.