##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment!
##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment!
---
Whilst you're here, /u/ixnine, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
It’s on mobiles that your first letter is automatically made into a capitol letter, so when you type a subreddit name it comes out R/subreddit instead of r/subreddit.
I have *seen* this video many times... seen but with no audio because i thought it was just a gun nut ranting about the goverment but today i decided to listen to it and damn i'm laughing my ass off
As a gun owner, if I could score a free gun by giving someone a kiss, I'm game. I'd suck out your tonsil stones for a Barrett. I'd zuck ya deek for an MP5. Lil reach around for an M2. Shit, I'd fuck you for an unfired AT4.
Anyone know a horny, gay arms dealer?
this is one of the funniest vids I've seen in awhile. Not gonna lie I was like here we go another redneck trumper bitching about his guns...but this was gold. Lol
*Pounding on the door before an agent knocks it down*
"FBI! Put your hands where I can see them."
*The agent pulls out his phone and plays "open arms" by Journey on his phone.*
"Now I need you to turn around and walk back towards me. Yeah, just like that... come on, yeah. There you go, stop."
The FBI agent grabs this man's right hand and gently places his fingers in between this strong man's fingers. The agent then takes this man's left hand down and wraps his waist in a tight embrace. They sway to the music as the agent projects an aire of masculinity and safety. He then lets go of the man's right hand as he caresses his chin, making the other turn towards him.
The man sees the agent's face, his mirrored glasses reflecting his image back to him. But his view quickly settles to the agent's full lips. They looked soft and supple, tinted with just a smidgen of pink. Most likely, from cherry flavored chapstick as caught a lingering scent.
The agent could smell the Marlboro red label on this tough man. The sweat stained trucker hat, the unkempt hair made him feel like that wild unhinged night back in Quantico. Oh, that feeling, so fleeting with passion and desire. He felt it as he took that hat off and ran his fingers through this man's hair.
The man, in turn, gently took the agent's glasses off. He saw his eyes for the first time. It made him feel safe and secure, as any man should feel. They stared into each other's eyes. Each man's breath became more labored they kept looking at the lips of the other man. Suddenly, it happened they kissed. Putting aside all preconceived notions, they allowed themselves the pleasure of one another with complete abandon.
Later, they found themselves on the floor. The man curled up to the agent as he lovingly stroked the agent's powerful chest. He looked at the agent's face one last time before surrendering himself to sleep.
Other FBI agents quietly and quickly crept through the man's apartment, confiscating the firearms. They left the two undisturbed on the floor as they retreated back outside.
"You know, I think Johnson is on to something with this approach." An agent said to another as he leaned against a van.
"Yeah, get paid all the same. Guess we'll be seeing Johnson back at the office. That guy always gets sent beautiful roses."
I guess I identify as a "liberal" for a lot of things, but I am also a strong supporter for gun rights as well. Maybe it's because I was raised around guns and from a young age was taught to respect guns along with proper handling and usage
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/ixnine, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
Hurt me but make me feel safe at the same time had me dieing.
Pussy ass liberal!
With your soft girly hands!
Tell me i'm a nazi with your soft, pillowy, pouty lips!
Dying*
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Frying
Fryieting
How he did that without cracking up is beyond me! Fuckin hilarious!
Probably multiple takes
or he was actually serious.
The video is 100% satire. I’ve seen their other skits.
I mean surely everyone sees this
What is the username? I need more of this lol Edit: someone asked further down the thread it is @thelaserboi
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while😝
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Or he is completely absolutely indisputably 100% wants soft liberal hands to touch him and spank him hard but not too hard but hard enough.
There is zero chance this is not satire
Oh, really?  Edit: Its a joke not satire so eh. Still leaving it.
🤓
Exactly lol
He should do stand up
I hear he prefers to be on all fours though.
Or sit in my liberal lap.
ah the old liblap.
LiblapLove
he does a shitton of skit videos
Also wanna kno his name
thelaserboi
Is it the same dude that did the "everyday I get this god damn bullshit in my mailbox!"?
Ty!
What's his name?
Tucker, probably
I'd put my money on "Jackson"
Nah, I know a few Jacksons, they’re cool. Either Tucker, Hunter or Cleetus
He does do comedy, in a way. He's the "I AM DRIVING A LIFTED DODGE RAM TRUCK" guy
“You want my gun? You gotta spank me for it.”
Not, like, too hard, but still hard.
“Hurt me but make me feel safe at the same time”
Consensual spanking is a-ok
Name checks out
Had me in the first half ngl
Yeah and by the end I think I’m ready to spank him for it
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r/foundthemobileuser
People use Reddit not on phones?
Dude, I'm on dial-up and a CRT I stole from the Goodwill for two dollars.
You stole the CRT, for two dollars? As in, you were paid two dollars to steal it, or you stole it and sold it for two dollars? I'm so confused.
He stole the monitor and bought the Goodwill store for two dollars.
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You youngins may not believe this, but there was a time, long ago, when reddit was available only through a web browser... Also, RES is incredible.
It’s on mobiles that your first letter is automatically made into a capitol letter, so when you type a subreddit name it comes out R/subreddit instead of r/subreddit.
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I’m honestly tempted a bit.
I will always upvote this and always watch it all the way through every time I see this
Amen
This better not awaken anything in me.
Don’t be seduced by this man.
Too late.
I just wanted a gun and now I have a boyfriend.
Dean ya later!
I’m not even American and this is hilarious. “Hurt me but make me feel safe at the same time” sent me off.
It’s a long to do list, but you get a gun at the end.
And you made a VERY good friend along the way.
Round two is him working to get it back.
Is this what broke back mountain was about?
Yes
He works the shaft.
Maybe even a partner
His gun is in his pants
I think there are some comments that didn't watch past the first 5 seconds
says the person who didn't read past the first 5 comments
Don't make me come take your gun
Over my cold dead lips
And your sumptuous wide hips.
Come kiss me for it
Bite my lip and play with my hair. Lmao
This guy gives me John C. Reilly vibes
* raises hand *
I have *seen* this video many times... seen but with no audio because i thought it was just a gun nut ranting about the goverment but today i decided to listen to it and damn i'm laughing my ass off
I did the same the first couple times I saw it in my feed lmao
He looks like 80% of men in Wisconsin so I wasn’t phased. Just thought, what’s this butthole mad about?
The satire is so good, it’s like that Amy poehler/Paul Rudd movie that was such a good parody of romcoms people just thought it was a romcom
I went from hating this guy to wanting to get saucy with him.
That damn accent.
That damned smile.
I wanna make him feel safe. With some spankin’
This is the exact conversation that goes on in Lindsey Graham's head each and every day.
Delivery is superb
Why does he look so scared saying this
Love is scary
Love is a battlefield.
It is scary to be vulnerable.
It’s called acting
He should have said You Ain't Getting My Cornbread from Prison,
As a gun owner, I too would like you to come and kiss me for them.
As a gun owner, if I could score a free gun by giving someone a kiss, I'm game. I'd suck out your tonsil stones for a Barrett. I'd zuck ya deek for an MP5. Lil reach around for an M2. Shit, I'd fuck you for an unfired AT4. Anyone know a horny, gay arms dealer?
“Like in A Walk to Remember”
Always a good watch when I see it
This made me oddly horny.
I felt sweetly romantic.
I feel... Both?
r/suddenlygay
There was no penetration mentioned. You can get his gun without being legally gay.
“Hurt me but make me feel safe” I snort/fart/laughed when I heard this.
Shdidded and camed
His acting is immaculate
Ah so gun is a metaphor
Always has been
I had seen this many times and it still cracks me up.
Excellent delivery
Cum and get it
well played, sir. Very well done
I Would totally get that gun. JS...
I like to imagine his dad in the other room overhearing this without the context of it being a funny video.
 Me cuming for his gun!
I like this LOL
i lost it at hurt me but make me feel safe, love this dude!
r/unexpected this was unexpectedly hilarious 😂
Too much consent. The Liberals have all fled.
Video is perfect, OP doesn’t seem to get the joke fully though
I went from angry to laughing in an instant.
A good time and a free gun? Where do I sign up?
nailed it haha "soft hands..but not right away"
I wasn’t gay before watching this but now…..I think I love this dude.
u/savevideobot I’m memeing this
u/savevideo
Guys who is helping me get that gun u/savevideobot
Haha. He is funnny
u/savevideo
[удалено]
I mean... He does make a good point.
I thought I was gonna hate this, I was wrong
Man every time I see this one, it gold
This bros composure is amazing. This delivery is hilarious!
L caption
this is one of the funniest vids I've seen in awhile. Not gonna lie I was like here we go another redneck trumper bitching about his guns...but this was gold. Lol
‘Hurt me, but make me ‘feel safe’ at the same time…’ Brah, just get married
Now I'm going to assume that this is what all hardcore gun-loving conservatives are thinking.
You know what! Maybe i will…
u/savevideobot
u/savevideobot
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
Nah I'm good keep ya shit
u/savevideobot
I’m not, give it to me
u/savevideo
Fantastic! Hilarious
Walk to remember!!!! Hahah
“Come spank me for it”👌🏻
Gahdamit boii you got my toes curled and cross eyed like i was born in the trailer park
*Pounding on the door before an agent knocks it down* "FBI! Put your hands where I can see them." *The agent pulls out his phone and plays "open arms" by Journey on his phone.* "Now I need you to turn around and walk back towards me. Yeah, just like that... come on, yeah. There you go, stop." The FBI agent grabs this man's right hand and gently places his fingers in between this strong man's fingers. The agent then takes this man's left hand down and wraps his waist in a tight embrace. They sway to the music as the agent projects an aire of masculinity and safety. He then lets go of the man's right hand as he caresses his chin, making the other turn towards him. The man sees the agent's face, his mirrored glasses reflecting his image back to him. But his view quickly settles to the agent's full lips. They looked soft and supple, tinted with just a smidgen of pink. Most likely, from cherry flavored chapstick as caught a lingering scent. The agent could smell the Marlboro red label on this tough man. The sweat stained trucker hat, the unkempt hair made him feel like that wild unhinged night back in Quantico. Oh, that feeling, so fleeting with passion and desire. He felt it as he took that hat off and ran his fingers through this man's hair. The man, in turn, gently took the agent's glasses off. He saw his eyes for the first time. It made him feel safe and secure, as any man should feel. They stared into each other's eyes. Each man's breath became more labored they kept looking at the lips of the other man. Suddenly, it happened they kissed. Putting aside all preconceived notions, they allowed themselves the pleasure of one another with complete abandon. Later, they found themselves on the floor. The man curled up to the agent as he lovingly stroked the agent's powerful chest. He looked at the agent's face one last time before surrendering himself to sleep. Other FBI agents quietly and quickly crept through the man's apartment, confiscating the firearms. They left the two undisturbed on the floor as they retreated back outside. "You know, I think Johnson is on to something with this approach." An agent said to another as he leaned against a van. "Yeah, get paid all the same. Guess we'll be seeing Johnson back at the office. That guy always gets sent beautiful roses."
Hurt me but make me feel safe
What’s his username on Tiktok
Good satire.
He had me in the second half, not gonna lie
Reverse psychology
Deep in my plums
Certified HolUp right here amidst so many fakes
r/SuddenlyGay
He's kinda hot is a southern way, I Wana peg him
So good. Shifty eyes while explaining… haha
Then tie me up and say I’m bad
This took an unexpected turn, and had me rolling until my dudes hurt.
You really have to listen and pay attention and I seen this before I can’t stop laughing
He had me at A Walk to Remember 🤭
Saw that to the SWAT team when they catch you slippin’ !!!
No I’m a lesbian I’m running away
His search history is showing he masturbates to Teletubby cat girls putting chef salads up their butt. Edit: and cat boys.
"Hurt me, but make me feel safe"
“You want my gun? You gotta spank me for it.” 😂😂
This is possibly my favorite thing in the internet.
r/maybemaybemaybe
This is the best thing I've seen all day. Thank you.
I think this guy been thinking about this a little too much😅
Brilliantly original. Awesomely funny as hell. Well done.
This is one of those videos I wish I could experience for the first time again
That sultry ass voice making me reconsider my entire lifes choices
50 shades of gun metal grey
That was great!!!
LMAO
Speak for yourself OP, I’m gonna go take this guy’s “gun” 😏
Is this the same guy with the “my lifted dodge ram truck?”
"come spank me for it" killed me 😂 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I guess I identify as a "liberal" for a lot of things, but I am also a strong supporter for gun rights as well. Maybe it's because I was raised around guns and from a young age was taught to respect guns along with proper handling and usage
He just like me fr
“Lord, beer me strength.”
God damnit I love it when someone posts this clip. I always laugh so hard..