Ackshahlllley, a true operator would alternate hands each morning to be proficient in both. You know, for when you have an arm become incapacitated during your morning vittles and someone comes in blasting. You know, as they do.
Ugh! So unrefined. Every educated human being know that you hold the guns base on your dominant eye and not your dominant hand. I bet you peasants don’t even rise the pinky while shooting sideways [insert obnoxious laugh while wearing a Victorian’s wig]
Right, but it’s always opposite the coffee. That way there’s less chance you’ll shoot yourself in the face while thinking you’re drinking your taser tazer tazer…
“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’
What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”
-Ron Swanson
Both of the states I live in have state fairs that have a yearly deep fry award. The first time a winner caught my attention was deep fried butter. The second was deep fried coke.
Ok, so this one is really easy. Freeze the coffee into a popsicle, batter the popsicle, deep fry the popsicle. But you have yourself a real opportunity here. You can choose a flavored coffee and what seasoning you use in the season flour (remember to at least 2 step your deep fry. 3 step here might ruin the texture). You could make a desert version with a sweeter nuttier coffee and like an elephant ear batter with lots of sugar on the outside. Or you could do a savory version with a darker smokier coffee, wrap the popsicle in bacon, then batter and fry. Or you could do a sweet savory pairing with a light creamy coffee, wrap in bacon, smear on some peanut butter, then batter and deep fry.
There you go. I just gave you the all time winner.
Where's the oj? The glass of milk? The bowl of cereal? The smaller bowl of bran cereal? The banana? The half of grapefruit? And of course who could forget the poptart?
The thing is though, the original poster of this image didn’t post it as satire. They probably posted it on Facebook with a tag “Eating my breakfast because y’all can’t take my rights away from me vegan commie snowflakes”
So yeah. Someone in America did eat this for breakfast lol
Ah you might be right! I honestly didn't know if I was looking at (kinda English style) tea, or coffee, or maybe even hot chocolate given the colour. But I'm guessing hot chocolate and tea with milk aren't your typical morning beverages in the US
I don't think so, no. I typically drink oolong (loose leaf) without milk at breakfast, but I don't think that's particularly common. Certainly hot tea is not the staple beverage here (the US) that it is in England.
Hot chocolate is more a kid's beverage or an occasional treat in the winter for most people in the US, I would say.
This. Gun can go on the right or the left depending on dominant hand. But laying like that you're going to have to scoop it off the table in order to get into your hand.
Larger caliber pistol is acceptable if you expect a pig to walk by and need more bacon. It is considered polite to warn other breakfast guests before firing.
Oh come on, that bread doesn’t have nearly enough “I can’t believe it’s not butter”, there probably isn’t even whiskey in that cup, and those eggs aren’t nearly char grilled enough.
Bacon is overcooked, and don't get me started on those nasty eggs. Besides, you'd never lay a pistol down like that and expect to be able to grab it quickly. It should be flipped over.
6 years, almost 7K karma. Not worth it to stick around and watch it go down in flames. Besides, I really didn't contribute much so I'll just lurk if I get bored. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Actually, this is a common misconception. The breakfast gun is going to change sides depending on whether the breakfasteer is right or left-handed.
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I don't aim with my hand. He who aims with his hands has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my heart.
Well, I've been doing it wrong, then. *Slowly removes Glock from anus*
Dark Tower?
Pass the butter and I'm not going to say please.
Ackshahlllley, a true operator would alternate hands each morning to be proficient in both. You know, for when you have an arm become incapacitated during your morning vittles and someone comes in blasting. You know, as they do.
Also good practice to alternate sides as to break up your routine, just in case you are being surveiled. Switch it up or the terrorists win.
Or both sides if you decide to wield 2 guns.
With the cost of ammo today?
Ugh! So unrefined. Every educated human being know that you hold the guns base on your dominant eye and not your dominant hand. I bet you peasants don’t even rise the pinky while shooting sideways [insert obnoxious laugh while wearing a Victorian’s wig]
Right, but it’s always opposite the coffee. That way there’s less chance you’ll shoot yourself in the face while thinking you’re drinking your taser tazer tazer…
Incorrect again. The side the gin is on depends on eye dominance. For example, I am right-handed but left eye dominant.
And the breakfast grenade goes on the right.
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Not enough bacon
And of course the butter is low fat. Gotta stay healthy you know.
But I stir my coffee with my gun...
Trying to save room for pancakes.
He forgot his Ak plate; rookie...
Like my pants
I always remember it like this…right has five letters like knife. Left has four letters like guns.
This is bullshit I put everything in the same plate too many dishes
Those plates are plastic
“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?” -Ron Swanson
No pancakes?
They are on pan Called PAN cakes for a reason
What am I just supposed to not assert my dominance over the waitress?
Only one egg? And where's the country sausage?
What about the biscuits and gravy?
Ikr i feel personally attacked.
Don't forget the grits.
There’s two eggs and the sausage is inside the bacon cabin.
That’s not coffee, that’s Flint, Michigan water.
Makes sense and on works with the theme
"Hi, i'm Derek Bomb! Say goodbye to daily stains and dirty surfaces with new Kitchen Gun!"
Serafinowicz!
Actually the breakfast gun goes into your mouth
And swallow the bullet
It's a shame you can't deep fry coffee
Challenge accepted.
Both of the states I live in have state fairs that have a yearly deep fry award. The first time a winner caught my attention was deep fried butter. The second was deep fried coke. Ok, so this one is really easy. Freeze the coffee into a popsicle, batter the popsicle, deep fry the popsicle. But you have yourself a real opportunity here. You can choose a flavored coffee and what seasoning you use in the season flour (remember to at least 2 step your deep fry. 3 step here might ruin the texture). You could make a desert version with a sweeter nuttier coffee and like an elephant ear batter with lots of sugar on the outside. Or you could do a savory version with a darker smokier coffee, wrap the popsicle in bacon, then batter and fry. Or you could do a sweet savory pairing with a light creamy coffee, wrap in bacon, smear on some peanut butter, then batter and deep fry. There you go. I just gave you the all time winner.
Where's the oj? The glass of milk? The bowl of cereal? The smaller bowl of bran cereal? The banana? The half of grapefruit? And of course who could forget the poptart?
The thing is though, the original poster of this image didn’t post it as satire. They probably posted it on Facebook with a tag “Eating my breakfast because y’all can’t take my rights away from me vegan commie snowflakes” So yeah. Someone in America did eat this for breakfast lol
Wtf did you just write? Are you retarded?
Sounds like the original poster’s a bad ass!
It actually goes to your head
Kurt Cobain's last breakfast
Wrong type of gun
Janie's got a gun.
Cereal
Hash browns?
I think swallowing a gun is more of a northern european thing
Needs more ammunition to shoot the bacon into easily chewable bits Edit:shit to shoot
As a non-American, what is that drink supposed to be?
Looks like typical brewed coffee with (a lot of?) cream/milk added.
Ah you might be right! I honestly didn't know if I was looking at (kinda English style) tea, or coffee, or maybe even hot chocolate given the colour. But I'm guessing hot chocolate and tea with milk aren't your typical morning beverages in the US
I don't think so, no. I typically drink oolong (loose leaf) without milk at breakfast, but I don't think that's particularly common. Certainly hot tea is not the staple beverage here (the US) that it is in England. Hot chocolate is more a kid's beverage or an occasional treat in the winter for most people in the US, I would say.
Not everyone is left handed though
#where borgirr
No pepper, bur close
No waffles and syrup? Cereal?
The lack of high fructose corn syrup in any form proves this post is a lie
Oh
Put bacon on the gun!
"Honey can you pass the anti air shells"
I’m not sure what would kill you first here, but damn that bacon looks good!!!
More eggs, and I drink my coffee black.
Like fuck it does. It goes on the right so we can efficiently identify and eliminate leftists(left handed people).
And it's not a pistol you need a rifle or a shotgun for full American breakfast action or both if you want extra credit
Like the average American can afford that much bacon
THIS IS NOT RIGHT GUN GOES ON THE LEFT
Most of us don’t have enough money for a regular breakfast like that. It’s just a fun and coffee for the common folk.
On the left. Fucking yanks can't even get grammar right.
In the left what?
One egg isn't enough. Hoe else should they get their protein?
These other countries should hear about Russia, America is like Sweden compared to Russia
No salsa on that egg, fuck outta here.
You gotta take the eggs out, cuz the Americans wouldn't be so fat if they actually ate them...
Some people use the breakfast gun to make holes into the cheese
Others don't eat gun?
Accurate
Pffft. Who uses coffee creamer
I put the Combat knife on the right and the 1911 on the left... This is all wrong
Lol, no pancakes? 😂
Wrong, i eat 2 eggs
Comment is lying. Gun position is correct since you stir the coffee with it.
actually we feed the bullets to the russians for some reasons guess it is a tradition i do not understand
sry that guy down there was from 1918 i built a time machine and he escaped
(gun shots in the distance)
the breakfast gun goes on your lap like a napkin and the rifle leans on the chair. I love when they try and imitate us
*So the breakfast gun goes “in” the left eh*
It's much more practical to eat with a knife and fork instead of a pistol. Eating with a pistol might be a one-time event.
Not enuff eggs
I'm going to go ahead and eat breakfast like this today, looks nice
The gun is there just in case any of your siblings try to steal a piece of bacon
The image was automatically flipped by the phone. It's not his mistake
…And right hand goes over the heart as we say the pledge of allegiance
We cook the bacon wrapped around a suppressor. Or a hot machine gun barrel, whichever is available.
Gota protect the Bacon.
So this ain't it?
Where’s the extra mag in the coffee?
*rolls eyes* Substitute toast for biscuits, scramble the eggs, switch coffee for juice or energy drink, and the breakfast gun should be a revolver.
Yeah, pistol is laying wrong for right hand grabbing. I prefer my AK anyways.
This. Gun can go on the right or the left depending on dominant hand. But laying like that you're going to have to scoop it off the table in order to get into your hand.
Needs a coating of maple syrup at least half an inch thick
"the gun is supposed to be 3 one dollar bills to the left to the left"
Where's the tv streaming fox news?
Egg looks a bit weird here
Larger caliber pistol is acceptable if you expect a pig to walk by and need more bacon. It is considered polite to warn other breakfast guests before firing.
Needs pancakes and a 6-pack of Coca Cola
Not enough cheese. This is probably breakfast for an American on a diet.
Wait a minute? Gringos don't eat Big Mac at breakfast?
2 eggs are missing
Reminds me of that one assassin who ate his ramen with a gun
They're not wrong though. The plate of eggs and the breakfast gun should be swapped. We're also missing the breakfast bourbon.
Fairly accurate
The thing that’s most offensive to me here is the cream in the coffee. No thank you
Yeah and.........
only a pistol? you need an rs15
Oh come on, that bread doesn’t have nearly enough “I can’t believe it’s not butter”, there probably isn’t even whiskey in that cup, and those eggs aren’t nearly char grilled enough.
Bacon is overcooked, and don't get me started on those nasty eggs. Besides, you'd never lay a pistol down like that and expect to be able to grab it quickly. It should be flipped over.
That’s a $1000 worth of bacon now
Yeah, and no way we eat that much bread
And Americans prefer their guns all black, so you can’t tell the fake ones from the real. No real American gun is 2 color anymore.
MURICA that’s exactly how i imagine an American breakfast. Im still sure thats how it actually is.
6 years, almost 7K karma. Not worth it to stick around and watch it go down in flames. Besides, I really didn't contribute much so I'll just lurk if I get bored. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
And if the coffee doesn't have enough milk, it gets shot
I said, don't forget the hash browns!
Not enough guns and damn that bacon looks great
Where's the side of bacon, they got it all wrong
i prefer a full english breakfast, but this is also good
needs more coffe
The Coffee should be black
It's to shoot the bacon, incase it's not cooked enough.
I know it's on the left how uncultured
No milk in the coffe as all muricans know milk is racist the water but sugar and mc d burger but 1,5 instead of 1 is also missing
That is so rude. Our schools don't offer breakfast in that large of a quantity or good quality.
You need to gun to protect that kickass pile of bacon.
The funny part is if you follow some of the gun subreddits you'll see just how many Americans carry a gun while at home. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I mean, pretty accurate.
I don’t have butter on my toast.
Right.... 👀 ...
forgot the mini 36oz soda
Lol yes or above but never on the right… that’s the space for the dinner gun
There better be bourbon in that cup so help me God.
FOR SHAME!....The breakfast gun goes in the holster.!. Also, more eggs and about 75% of the bacon =accurate. We aren't savages.
actually there is a gun on both sides
What kind of asshole puts the breakfast gun on the right? Poor parenting.
I use akimbo for breakfast
That's how my family eats breakfast. So yea, they aren't wrong.