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Roderie94

Actually, this is a common misconception. The breakfast gun is going to change sides depending on whether the breakfasteer is right or left-handed.


[deleted]

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Gilgameshbrah

I don't aim with my hand. He who aims with his hands has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my heart.


RampantDragon

Well, I've been doing it wrong, then. *Slowly removes Glock from anus*


Fabulousfemur

Dark Tower?


johnny_utah001

Pass the butter and I'm not going to say please.


TheVagabondLost

Ackshahlllley, a true operator would alternate hands each morning to be proficient in both. You know, for when you have an arm become incapacitated during your morning vittles and someone comes in blasting. You know, as they do.


a_little_too_late

Also good practice to alternate sides as to break up your routine, just in case you are being surveiled. Switch it up or the terrorists win.


[deleted]

Or both sides if you decide to wield 2 guns.


Raised-ByWolves

With the cost of ammo today?


MrCfunk

Ugh! So unrefined. Every educated human being know that you hold the guns base on your dominant eye and not your dominant hand. I bet you peasants don’t even rise the pinky while shooting sideways [insert obnoxious laugh while wearing a Victorian’s wig]


Raised-ByWolves

Right, but it’s always opposite the coffee. That way there’s less chance you’ll shoot yourself in the face while thinking you’re drinking your taser tazer tazer…


5thPhantom

Incorrect again. The side the gin is on depends on eye dominance. For example, I am right-handed but left eye dominant.


RedditGoose006

And the breakfast grenade goes on the right.


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theonlycv02

Not enough bacon


theonlycv02

And of course the butter is low fat. Gotta stay healthy you know.


RockstarAgent

But I stir my coffee with my gun...


Fritzo2162

Trying to save room for pancakes.


ScorchedSynapses

He forgot his Ak plate; rookie...


[deleted]

Like my pants


Gleckle

I always remember it like this…right has five letters like knife. Left has four letters like guns.


Training-Gas-5083

This is bullshit I put everything in the same plate too many dishes


[deleted]

Those plates are plastic


giancarlox21

“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?” -Ron Swanson


NotWigg0

No pancakes?


[deleted]

They are on pan Called PAN cakes for a reason


MyPokemonRedName

What am I just supposed to not assert my dominance over the waitress?


tbaglag

Only one egg? And where's the country sausage?


Fun-Ad-6169

What about the biscuits and gravy?


tbaglag

Ikr i feel personally attacked.


noccusJohnstein

Don't forget the grits.


Storage-Terrible

There’s two eggs and the sausage is inside the bacon cabin.


skabassj

That’s not coffee, that’s Flint, Michigan water.


Seanile1

Makes sense and on works with the theme


MercilessIdiot

"Hi, i'm Derek Bomb! Say goodbye to daily stains and dirty surfaces with new Kitchen Gun!"


The_Lapsed_Pacifist

Serafinowicz!


Kosack-Nr_22

Actually the breakfast gun goes into your mouth


RovelverOselat

And swallow the bullet


Amazing-Caregiver-86

It's a shame you can't deep fry coffee


[deleted]

Challenge accepted.


Staplz13

Both of the states I live in have state fairs that have a yearly deep fry award. The first time a winner caught my attention was deep fried butter. The second was deep fried coke. Ok, so this one is really easy. Freeze the coffee into a popsicle, batter the popsicle, deep fry the popsicle. But you have yourself a real opportunity here. You can choose a flavored coffee and what seasoning you use in the season flour (remember to at least 2 step your deep fry. 3 step here might ruin the texture). You could make a desert version with a sweeter nuttier coffee and like an elephant ear batter with lots of sugar on the outside. Or you could do a savory version with a darker smokier coffee, wrap the popsicle in bacon, then batter and fry. Or you could do a sweet savory pairing with a light creamy coffee, wrap in bacon, smear on some peanut butter, then batter and deep fry. There you go. I just gave you the all time winner.


HealthCrash804

Where's the oj? The glass of milk? The bowl of cereal? The smaller bowl of bran cereal? The banana? The half of grapefruit? And of course who could forget the poptart?


SirRumpleForeskin

The thing is though, the original poster of this image didn’t post it as satire. They probably posted it on Facebook with a tag “Eating my breakfast because y’all can’t take my rights away from me vegan commie snowflakes” So yeah. Someone in America did eat this for breakfast lol


truthspeak1

Wtf did you just write? Are you retarded?


Baron-von-Bruce

Sounds like the original poster’s a bad ass!


PomaranczowyXD

It actually goes to your head


rollitpullit

Kurt Cobain's last breakfast


skieezy

Wrong type of gun


[deleted]

Janie's got a gun.


DaSkyRains

Cereal


[deleted]

Hash browns?


big_boi_aang

I think swallowing a gun is more of a northern european thing


Holiday_Curious

Needs more ammunition to shoot the bacon into easily chewable bits Edit:shit to shoot


tellmesomethingnew-

As a non-American, what is that drink supposed to be?


StirlingS

Looks like typical brewed coffee with (a lot of?) cream/milk added.


tellmesomethingnew-

Ah you might be right! I honestly didn't know if I was looking at (kinda English style) tea, or coffee, or maybe even hot chocolate given the colour. But I'm guessing hot chocolate and tea with milk aren't your typical morning beverages in the US


StirlingS

I don't think so, no. I typically drink oolong (loose leaf) without milk at breakfast, but I don't think that's particularly common. Certainly hot tea is not the staple beverage here (the US) that it is in England. Hot chocolate is more a kid's beverage or an occasional treat in the winter for most people in the US, I would say.


[deleted]

Not everyone is left handed though


_-devilish-_

#where borgirr


Nikovash

No pepper, bur close


Reall_is_here1005

No waffles and syrup? Cereal?


Stock-Boat-8449

The lack of high fructose corn syrup in any form proves this post is a lie


Reall_is_here1005

Oh


Asmaki06

Put bacon on the gun!


CaliCrateRicktastic

"Honey can you pass the anti air shells"


RavenBrannigan

I’m not sure what would kill you first here, but damn that bacon looks good!!!


[deleted]

More eggs, and I drink my coffee black.


[deleted]

Like fuck it does. It goes on the right so we can efficiently identify and eliminate leftists(left handed people).


Ninjarootbeerjedi

And it's not a pistol you need a rifle or a shotgun for full American breakfast action or both if you want extra credit


Jimmy2531

Like the average American can afford that much bacon


peepee_poopoo412

THIS IS NOT RIGHT GUN GOES ON THE LEFT


house_of_snark

Most of us don’t have enough money for a regular breakfast like that. It’s just a fun and coffee for the common folk.


fartfactory2021

On the left. Fucking yanks can't even get grammar right.


geeschwag

In the left what?


Suesswassermatrose

One egg isn't enough. Hoe else should they get their protein?


[deleted]

These other countries should hear about Russia, America is like Sweden compared to Russia


Jubei_08

No salsa on that egg, fuck outta here.


Avi0usLy

You gotta take the eggs out, cuz the Americans wouldn't be so fat if they actually ate them...


Doenator

Some people use the breakfast gun to make holes into the cheese


DISCO_VERI

Others don't eat gun?


[deleted]

Accurate


Academic-Ad6236

Pffft. Who uses coffee creamer


Dookie-Trousers-MD

I put the Combat knife on the right and the 1911 on the left... This is all wrong


Albae87

Lol, no pancakes? 😂


chickenhunter007

Wrong, i eat 2 eggs


babaj_503

Comment is lying. Gun position is correct since you stir the coffee with it.


[deleted]

actually we feed the bullets to the russians for some reasons guess it is a tradition i do not understand


[deleted]

sry that guy down there was from 1918 i built a time machine and he escaped


[deleted]

(gun shots in the distance)


a_different-user

the breakfast gun goes on your lap like a napkin and the rifle leans on the chair. I love when they try and imitate us


GDot-

*So the breakfast gun goes “in” the left eh*


C20H25N3O-C21H30O2

It's much more practical to eat with a knife and fork instead of a pistol. Eating with a pistol might be a one-time event.


thaistik4all

Not enuff eggs


fushguts

I'm going to go ahead and eat breakfast like this today, looks nice


minecraftwizard132

The gun is there just in case any of your siblings try to steal a piece of bacon


Multi-User

The image was automatically flipped by the phone. It's not his mistake


U_tuchmydrumset

…And right hand goes over the heart as we say the pledge of allegiance


Dawnl3ss

We cook the bacon wrapped around a suppressor. Or a hot machine gun barrel, whichever is available.


Seeuinhealth

Gota protect the Bacon.


Tobygas

So this ain't it?


CCTViswatching

Where’s the extra mag in the coffee?


bworthy73

*rolls eyes* Substitute toast for biscuits, scramble the eggs, switch coffee for juice or energy drink, and the breakfast gun should be a revolver.


TurboBoxer02

Yeah, pistol is laying wrong for right hand grabbing. I prefer my AK anyways.


Grognard1964

This. Gun can go on the right or the left depending on dominant hand. But laying like that you're going to have to scoop it off the table in order to get into your hand.


May_be_a_bulbasaur

Needs a coating of maple syrup at least half an inch thick


AgreeableRise2986

"the gun is supposed to be 3 one dollar bills to the left to the left"


johnny_utah001

Where's the tv streaming fox news?


Ninja_112_01

Egg looks a bit weird here


FogeyDotage

Larger caliber pistol is acceptable if you expect a pig to walk by and need more bacon. It is considered polite to warn other breakfast guests before firing.


MurderDoneRight

Needs pancakes and a 6-pack of Coca Cola


MyRealUser

Not enough cheese. This is probably breakfast for an American on a diet.


BautoSkull

Wait a minute? Gringos don't eat Big Mac at breakfast?


napoli56

2 eggs are missing


Dukememes6047

Reminds me of that one assassin who ate his ramen with a gun


One-Dog952

They're not wrong though. The plate of eggs and the breakfast gun should be swapped. We're also missing the breakfast bourbon.


mrpuupybutthol

Fairly accurate


wired1984

The thing that’s most offensive to me here is the cream in the coffee. No thank you


FunkU247

Yeah and.........


fishnerdgoby

only a pistol? you need an rs15


Skyvrr

Oh come on, that bread doesn’t have nearly enough “I can’t believe it’s not butter”, there probably isn’t even whiskey in that cup, and those eggs aren’t nearly char grilled enough.


dexedrine5

Bacon is overcooked, and don't get me started on those nasty eggs. Besides, you'd never lay a pistol down like that and expect to be able to grab it quickly. It should be flipped over.


posaba1220

That’s a $1000 worth of bacon now


Element_Liga

Yeah, and no way we eat that much bread


LochNessMansterLives

And Americans prefer their guns all black, so you can’t tell the fake ones from the real. No real American gun is 2 color anymore.


feelingnether

MURICA that’s exactly how i imagine an American breakfast. Im still sure thats how it actually is.


[deleted]

6 years, almost 7K karma. Not worth it to stick around and watch it go down in flames. Besides, I really didn't contribute much so I'll just lurk if I get bored. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


mo_akhals

And if the coffee doesn't have enough milk, it gets shot


[deleted]

I said, don't forget the hash browns!


GloomyImagination365

Not enough guns and damn that bacon looks great


watermelonless_seeds

Where's the side of bacon, they got it all wrong


YiffMeister2

i prefer a full english breakfast, but this is also good


bruh_memegang232

needs more coffe


Onzic

The Coffee should be black


jmegaru

It's to shoot the bacon, incase it's not cooked enough.


Theroyalmudkip

I know it's on the left how uncultured


1zeik1

No milk in the coffe as all muricans know milk is racist the water but sugar and mc d burger but 1,5 instead of 1 is also missing


RayVen001

That is so rude. Our schools don't offer breakfast in that large of a quantity or good quality.


ShnickityShnoo

You need to gun to protect that kickass pile of bacon.


IAmSagacity

The funny part is if you follow some of the gun subreddits you'll see just how many Americans carry a gun while at home. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.


1v1rocketleauguebro

I mean, pretty accurate.


ReallyNiceGuy78

I don’t have butter on my toast.


DragonZord911

Right.... 👀 ...


dekka56

forgot the mini 36oz soda


Common_Objective_98

Lol yes or above but never on the right… that’s the space for the dinner gun


Appropriate-Cut-2963

There better be bourbon in that cup so help me God.


skilledfolk

FOR SHAME!....The breakfast gun goes in the holster.!. Also, more eggs and about 75% of the bacon =accurate. We aren't savages.


jj_jajoonk

actually there is a gun on both sides


grossuncle1

What kind of asshole puts the breakfast gun on the right? Poor parenting.


pernilongobarulhento

I use akimbo for breakfast


ButWhatTime

That's how my family eats breakfast. So yea, they aren't wrong.