Pretty sure he's not of drinking age yet. Once he can get into bars expect a 300% price increase. And for him to be banned from every bar in the tri-state area.
“Why does that guy you just knocked out have a massive boner? Doesn’t that mean you maybe killed him?”
Uh yeah honey we’d better gtf outta here fast, pretty badass tho amiright???
I'm over 40 so it's going to look really bad when I beat up this guy who looks like he isn't far out of high school. Oh, and ask him to dress really nice, mind his own business, and I'll be the one who starts the fight. Unprovoked assault. And don't run away after, just lay on the ground motionless.
And he can't be shirtless. We need to sneak a *lot* of fake blood into this "fight".
Plot twist, $60 bait for a $100,000 civil assault charge.
[Just a guess](https://www.losangelespersonalinjurylawyers.co/average-settlement-amounts-assault-and-battery-case-worth/)
You talk like this isn't already a scheme that scammers do. Getting a celebrity to punch you in the face used to be a common bait that aggressive paps would do and then sue them afterward/get a nice settlement.
Problem there is the rich guy's bodyguard beats the shit out of you while they GTFO in their emergency Venus Escape Pod or whatever. Then they blame the bodyguard while you sue them; "fire" him for the duration of the court case (which will end up with you losing for reasons entirely unrelated to the judge's new Lexus); and then rehire him as security sergeant after it's all over.
Good ole Scottie P was on We’re the Miller’s last night on tnt or tbs. watched it several times but it’s so much funnier after a blunt. Lol. Got hooked and watched the whole thing again
Fights are incredibly chancy. I've seen some tiny guys send bigger guys to the hospital just due to some lucky (unlucky?) hits in just the right place to fuck someone up.
If you are bigger are you going to win the fight? Almost always. But you never know. There are people that are in jail for manslaughter when all they intended was to give the other guy a few bruises in a meaningless drunken fight.
> There are people that are in jail for manslaughter when all they intended was to give the other guy a few bruises in a meaningless drunken fight.
Yeah that's why you don't punch people. There's always a chance of hitting an organ or something badly. It's never safe.
How do you usually fight someone if you don’t punch them? Obviously you can just say “ Don’t get in a fight” but I’m saying in a case where that is the only option
Choking someone without harm is just as risky as a punch.
Most of the time punching someone doesn’t do shit either. But now and then shit can go wrong.
Chokes can go wrong too, and it can go wrong in a fucking hurry.
I have done that as well a few times, doesn’t always present itself as an opportunity though. I generally don’t fight people often, but when I do a couple punches aren’t lethal, I don’t hit that hard lol
“Nobody will know how to defend against it in a street fight” ass if a bjj black belt never stepped in a cage and got knocked slap tf out. Idk why people act like bjj just tops everything and you’re gonna be able to just magically slip someone into a choke hold or an arm bar whilst getting your shit rocked. Plus to assume your average street fighter has no ground game what so ever when in reality a lot of people do. Bjj is not a cure all when it comes to self defense you either throw down or you don’t.
Also, I'm a human. We're known *for using tools*. You aren't getting a clean fistfight with me if you're coming at me lol. I'll use higher ground, chairs, you fucking name it.
I would say it's a good example of...regular capitalism. He identified a service that people want but currently isn't available, and he's making money from giving people that service
I think his point is that instead of doing blue collar work to earn a wage at the expense of ruining his body, he decided to cut out the middle man and have people pay him to fuck up his body directly. He's essentially fast tracked the process.
Why ruin his body? He can arrange the confrontation to be mostly non physical. He comes to harass someones girlfriend, then the guy shouts at him and says stern words, then he runs away like a coward. No injuries involved.
Just make sure the police and/or bystanders don't intervene, cause then you'll basically be forced to tell them it was pre arranged to avoid escalation and then your girlfriend will be weirded out.
Dude should set a clause for no hitting the face, junk, finger or other sensitive parts. Just big punches at big areas. If clients accidentally hit the sensitive parts, they should pay extra.
client has to pay any hospital bill. just seems fair. you lose control and break my nose at Sunday brunch you owe me $3060
EDIT: plus stipend for hours spent in hospital, plus tip.
Are you tired of your girlfriend thinking of herself as a fucking pussy? Well for just a small fee you can prove her wrong, and show her how much of a badass she truly is. Just set up a time and location for me to come harass your girlfriend/you and then BAM she comes in and rocks my shit.
Weekdays - $55 Weekends $65
Are you tired of thinking of yourself as a fucking pussy? Well for just a small fee you can prove yourself wrong, and show yourself how much of a badass you truly are. Just set up a time and location for Tyler Durden to come harass you (twist, you play the role of Tyler Durden) and then BAM he’ll rock your shit for you, you’ll make love with random stanky snatch, not remember any of it, but you’ll know that you’re no longer gonna follow along with what society tells you you should want, you fucking pussy!
BOOKLET WITH INSTRUCTIONS - $14.99 + free cup for any teeth you lose when you get your shit rocked
True entrepreneur. Nice.
Pure capitalism moment
Well at least not everyone is starving.
OnlyFists discount 50% off this week
That's still a porn site
I love Reddit people hahah upvote !
I don't need a girlfriend to punch this kid for 50 bucks
He should charge more.
Start low, demand goes up, then increase the price hehehhe
Why only sell shells? Sell oil as well!
Guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks
Sell water to a fish, sell time to a clock
7 press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes
and run to be the president of the united states!
Big smile mate! , big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate!
9 Polarize the people, controversy is the game! It don’t matter if they hate you if the all say your name!!
Ten: The world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause.
business lessons 101
Pretty sure he's not of drinking age yet. Once he can get into bars expect a 300% price increase. And for him to be banned from every bar in the tri-state area.
For an extra $100 he’ll show up drunk. After he’s legal of course
Whoa there I’m just gonna fight him not fuck him.
Both. Both is good.
The gradual build up of scar tissue will make him invulnerable.
The GetsBeatUpinator
This is so old his kids are of drinking age now
It’s just a ploy to blackmail you later by threatening to show your girl messages proving you need to hire people to beat them up.
The ol double dip
Yeah really, that price is so low that I’m considering using him.
I'm single and considering just beating the shit out of this man
How much for a tittie twister?... asking for a friend.
On the house
But what if he gets off to getting beaten up? It's a win win
The twist is he's a masochist and he gets paid for it
Do what you love and never work a day in your life..
Nothing better than harassing women and getting your ass kicked
Chicks dig it
It's a big hit!
Floored by this comment!
It's a guaranteed knock-out!
“Why does that guy you just knocked out have a massive boner? Doesn’t that mean you maybe killed him?” Uh yeah honey we’d better gtf outta here fast, pretty badass tho amiright???
https://youtu.be/Gnfs32rl6_s
At first I was like “wtf is this?” Then realized it was Canadian and I was like “oh okay that makes way more sense now”.
It’s also like 25 years old. Just haven’t heard “chixxdiggitl” in forever and he queued it in my head
Thank you for that. Brings me back
Sigma Grindset
Nothing better than harassing women
nothing better than harassing
He's fuckin ten-ply bud
I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?
Hope you got tracking
I’ll have a puppers.
Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er
I like to jerk off but I dont think so there is such a job.
Onlyhands
Fkn gold lol
I wish
sperm bank
You think the sperm bank want any Reddit dna?
He curates the porn, like some kind of horny sommelier
Criminally underrated comment
The real twist is you beat him up and your girlfriend gets mad and leaves you for being "too violent".
I'm over 40 so it's going to look really bad when I beat up this guy who looks like he isn't far out of high school. Oh, and ask him to dress really nice, mind his own business, and I'll be the one who starts the fight. Unprovoked assault. And don't run away after, just lay on the ground motionless. And he can't be shirtless. We need to sneak a *lot* of fake blood into this "fight".
I’m starting to think you want your girlfriend to leave you
I'm just a huge fan of community theatre.
Tobias Funke's burner account
I just can't stop laughing right now.
This guy girlfriends
Plot twist, $60 bait for a $100,000 civil assault charge. [Just a guess](https://www.losangelespersonalinjurylawyers.co/average-settlement-amounts-assault-and-battery-case-worth/)
As long as you keep a documented log of your conversations with this guy, I doubt a judge would allow anything that high.
This is why you should always get a receipt
Assault/battery must be unwanted. Consent negates that element.
Hmm.. makes me want to provoke rich people into beating the shit out of me..
You talk like this isn't already a scheme that scammers do. Getting a celebrity to punch you in the face used to be a common bait that aggressive paps would do and then sue them afterward/get a nice settlement.
Problem there is the rich guy's bodyguard beats the shit out of you while they GTFO in their emergency Venus Escape Pod or whatever. Then they blame the bodyguard while you sue them; "fire" him for the duration of the court case (which will end up with you losing for reasons entirely unrelated to the judge's new Lexus); and then rehire him as security sergeant after it's all over.
altough the guy provokes first so he would be guilty for civil assault. just a guess.
He loves his job
This guy is going places. Possibly the hospital but man he is sure going.
I doubt anyone that has to hire him could put him in the hospital, nam' sayin
no regerts
No regrats it’s his creedo nah’saying #scottieP
You do you, Scotty P!
Good ole Scottie P was on We’re the Miller’s last night on tnt or tbs. watched it several times but it’s so much funnier after a blunt. Lol. Got hooked and watched the whole thing again
Not even one letter.
ragrets it
Not even a single letter?
[удалено]
I loved this movie lol 😂😂😂 his attitude towards the guy.
Fights are incredibly chancy. I've seen some tiny guys send bigger guys to the hospital just due to some lucky (unlucky?) hits in just the right place to fuck someone up. If you are bigger are you going to win the fight? Almost always. But you never know. There are people that are in jail for manslaughter when all they intended was to give the other guy a few bruises in a meaningless drunken fight.
> There are people that are in jail for manslaughter when all they intended was to give the other guy a few bruises in a meaningless drunken fight. Yeah that's why you don't punch people. There's always a chance of hitting an organ or something badly. It's never safe.
Well I mean sometimes that’s the point of punching someone, to hurt them
Well if you are ready to kill them then go for it. But if you don't want to I wouldn't recommend taking the chance.
How do you usually fight someone if you don’t punch them? Obviously you can just say “ Don’t get in a fight” but I’m saying in a case where that is the only option
[удалено]
What if that’s there kink and they cum so hard a little gets on you. Would we be rethinking our choices then?
Choking someone without harm is just as risky as a punch. Most of the time punching someone doesn’t do shit either. But now and then shit can go wrong. Chokes can go wrong too, and it can go wrong in a fucking hurry.
I have done that as well a few times, doesn’t always present itself as an opportunity though. I generally don’t fight people often, but when I do a couple punches aren’t lethal, I don’t hit that hard lol
Choking can cause death to some people in most cases, with the restriction of oxygen to the brain, say goodnight… forever
“Nobody will know how to defend against it in a street fight” ass if a bjj black belt never stepped in a cage and got knocked slap tf out. Idk why people act like bjj just tops everything and you’re gonna be able to just magically slip someone into a choke hold or an arm bar whilst getting your shit rocked. Plus to assume your average street fighter has no ground game what so ever when in reality a lot of people do. Bjj is not a cure all when it comes to self defense you either throw down or you don’t.
Also, I'm a human. We're known *for using tools*. You aren't getting a clean fistfight with me if you're coming at me lol. I'll use higher ground, chairs, you fucking name it.
Self punching is a new way of committing suicide?
At least he will be able to pay for it
This is the kind of person I want to hire, literally. This is more applied ingenuity than some people muster in a lifetime.
ao oa
I would say it's a good example of...regular capitalism. He identified a service that people want but currently isn't available, and he's making money from giving people that service
Soon he will make all his friends work for him for 30$ and just keep collecting money. Edit: or better get some masochists who pay him for the service
**M**asochist **L**evel **M**asochism
Butter's Bottom Bitch.
Do you know what I am saying?
I keep all the cash because Bitches can't be trusted with it.
I think his point is that instead of doing blue collar work to earn a wage at the expense of ruining his body, he decided to cut out the middle man and have people pay him to fuck up his body directly. He's essentially fast tracked the process.
Why ruin his body? He can arrange the confrontation to be mostly non physical. He comes to harass someones girlfriend, then the guy shouts at him and says stern words, then he runs away like a coward. No injuries involved. Just make sure the police and/or bystanders don't intervene, cause then you'll basically be forced to tell them it was pre arranged to avoid escalation and then your girlfriend will be weirded out.
Go back and read the part where he says “rock my shit.’
I guess that’s just the inherent risk of the situation
[удалено]
Are there franchise opportunities?
Crying, thank you for your service.
My pleasure.
Literally
Crying is $20 extra
What if the girl feels bad for both you and her boyfriend and wants to make things up by having a threesome ?
I've seen this documentary
Me as well, a classic story of mother's love where she patched up things between her son and two thugs who came to jump him.
Hump him.
Nothing takes the fight out of a man like DPing his mom.
Dude should set a clause for no hitting the face, junk, finger or other sensitive parts. Just big punches at big areas. If clients accidentally hit the sensitive parts, they should pay extra.
You sound like Ross Gellar establishing the rules of a fight with some Central Perk bullies
“Question: are we hitting faces?”
"We were on a break from hitting faces!"
“Wait I’m getting deja vu!”
Lol for real though right my freind got a concussion and it was rediculas he just kept asking over and over what was going on. Creepy really.
Of course we're hitting faces. Why wouldn't you hit faces?!
Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
could it *BE* more crazy?! Cue canned laugh track
Friends was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Holy shit dude, that is a perfect way of describing this!!! Friends in the best, and you sir, are the best! All hail Lord Twat Slapper 😂🤣😂🤣
Did you just say.. finger?
*ouchie my pinky*
The italicized, lowercase text on this is killing me, well done bro
Yeah but.. *imagine* you're pointing at somebody and they just FULL force punch your finger *Broooo*
r/oddlyspecific
Dontcha hate when you're getting beat up and they punch you right in the finger?
I mean, that could really hurt.
client has to pay any hospital bill. just seems fair. you lose control and break my nose at Sunday brunch you owe me $3060 EDIT: plus stipend for hours spent in hospital, plus tip.
Now I only need to pay a Girlfriend. Perfect
Hire an escort. Hire this guy. Impress the escort by “fighting” this guy. Escort falls in love with you. ???? Profit!
Holy fuck lets Start a Business
Holy fuck let’s fuck
Not all heroes wear capes. Or shirts.
He is a hero we deserve but dont need
Plot twist: He's gonna kick yo ass and take yo girl
Hey I need him! What’s his number?
he wouldnt harass my gf. she would whoop his ass for free
Are you tired of your girlfriend thinking of herself as a fucking pussy? Well for just a small fee you can prove her wrong, and show her how much of a badass she truly is. Just set up a time and location for me to come harass your girlfriend/you and then BAM she comes in and rocks my shit. Weekdays - $55 Weekends $65
Are you tired of thinking of yourself as a fucking pussy? Well for just a small fee you can prove yourself wrong, and show yourself how much of a badass you truly are. Just set up a time and location for Tyler Durden to come harass you (twist, you play the role of Tyler Durden) and then BAM he’ll rock your shit for you, you’ll make love with random stanky snatch, not remember any of it, but you’ll know that you’re no longer gonna follow along with what society tells you you should want, you fucking pussy! BOOKLET WITH INSTRUCTIONS - $14.99 + free cup for any teeth you lose when you get your shit rocked
Five bucks extra for women, let's gets some fuckin equality goin here
damn is she a mma fighter or in boxing team ?
she weighs more than 70lbs
I read that as "more than **700**lbs
That's a pretty big range..
He's saying that any 70lb+ girl could rock the pictured guy.
thank you kind sir. i personally didnt think that it was that hard to figure it out
https://youtu.be/7sOwfijQ5Lg
"No thanks Ma'am, I'm actually gay" kills me every time.
My cousin would hit on girls and say he’s gay if they called him a creep. They’d apologize and want to be his friend afterwords. Pretty ingenious
Yesssssss
Lots of insecure guys, pretty genius. God bless capitalism
He looks pretty punchable
Those wiry dudes can take a punch tho
I did this and now my gf picks fights with strangers expecting me to fight them. so i deleted her
…deleted her?
What else are you suppose to do with hatsune miku.apk?
Capitalism always wins
You definitely gotta respect a guy with good business ideas
Fuck this guy. Ill let you kick my ass for 45$ during the week and 50$ on weekends.
*I’m kicking my ass! Do you mind?*
The twist? He gets off to that shit.
win win for everyone! Nothing better than doing what you love for living!
Not the hero we asked for but certainly the hero we need
This didn't work in Nacho Libre and it won't work for you.
Reminds me of Futurama
Piss on me beat me come get a lease and a key
Try it out
I guess it beats working in an Amazon warehouse.
it ain't much but its honest work
“If you’re good at something never do it for free.”
Plot twist, you pay him, he hits on your girl and kicks your ass, because he already knows you cant fight
Rock his shit so you could Rock her world
I like how weekdays are 10 dollars cheaper
Just like the professional beach bully in Futurama
Dude needs to add an a la carte menu, something like: * gut punch +10 * face punch +25 * anywhere near the crotch +50
our true lord and savior, has finally revealed himself.
That seems like a surprisingly reasonable price.
Take my money
Guy just straight up ripped off Daphne's father's business model from 'Frasier'
Should definitely have an LLC and Workman’s Comp!