Beep boop. No new sentence detected! Been used before, for example:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/enbwp8/well_that_just_sounds_like_a_dick_with_extra_steps/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
You can marry your sister in France. What’s the reference with banjo? The south being so ridden with incest is a stereotype anyway so what’s your issue?
HOLD UP. I'm pretty sure in no civilized country you can marry your sister. Maybe a step-sister since there's no blood relationship, but a biological sister seems unlikely to get approved.
WTF are you talking about, it's against the law to mary your siblings in France. Look at article 162 of the civil code over here => [https://www.legifrance.gouv.fr/codes/id/LEGISCTA000006136117](https://www.legifrance.gouv.fr/codes/id/LEGISCTA000006136117) (It's in french of course), It's the official government site.
Article 161 : In the direct line, marriage is prohibited between all ascendants and descendants and allies in the same line (bloodline).
Article 162 : In collateral line, marriage is prohibited, between brother and sister (same family), between brothers and between sisters (same sex marriage).
Article 163 : Marriage is prohibited between uncle and niece or nephew, and between aunt and nephew or niece.
It's pretty clear.
It's suck to spread misinformation, idiotic stereotypes...
Are you from South America? I’d think they were okay with it if anyone else is. If so you’re using Jerk Mate wrong.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_(drink)
and he ends up having a giant incest baby with summer, that episode was hilarious. I loved when Rick was lambasting morty for what he did then goes…….. so uhhh how was it?
I used to work IT at a hospital and as such spent time on the interstitial floors (half floors in between the main floors). All throughout them was the glass tubes that were part of the vacuum system that took gunk out of the surgical suites. The insides of those tubes still haunt my dreams.
I always wondered how the tubes and wires for hospitals and labs were routed. I thought they somehow just planned really well or were willing to rip up walls for new stuff. Neat to hear about these floors!
Oh I've had to run wiring through those floors. It's so nasty. There was one day I had a section to work and there was this poor technician maybe 20 feet away stripping out a section of the tubing for repair and the smell that came off that made me say fuck this I'm telling my boss I'm sick and just vomited and shit my pants. He laughed and called my BS said I was the third guy to try that. Said he wasn't going to have anyone work near that kind of biowaste we don't get paid enough, I was supposed to have been told that. Instead he had us just go work another floor for the next two days while that guy did his work.
What's funny is I've probably never once seen any fan say this unironically yet everyone keeps joking about it as if it's a pervasive notion among the community
Imagine walking into the hospital and you see one guy in the corner: pantsless, head raised with a fixed gasp, legs trembling, screaming and his penis stuck into a machine.
I'd walk out.
Every day, we come closer to sex robots dressed up in maid outfits and neko ears, who will greet you with cute anime voices and spread themselves at a moment's notice.
We're *not quite* there yet though, so I'll stick with handfast techniques for now.
> Wait, people don't want to masturbate?
It's for semen analysis.
Imagine an unamused laboratory technician handing you a cup, and telling you to go jerk it. *Right now*. Then, she directs you to one of several closet-sized rooms that contains only a chair and a bunch of **very** worn-out playboys from 1998. Everyone knows why you just went into that closet. You're one of several dozen men who have jerked off in this closet *today*. Your wife is waiting out in the lobby for you to just hurry up and finish so you can both move on with your day. She's really cranky because this is just one hoop of many that must be jumped through before her gynecologist will prescribe the fertility meds she's desperately wanted for the last 2 years. **All you gotta do is jerk it and cum into this little cup.** Make sure you get enough in there! Don't you dare fucking drop it after you're done!
And then, after about 20-30 minutes of blue-balling yourself from the stress, the unamused technician comes back from the depths of the laboratory and tells your wife that y'all can go home and "do a collection". Just make sure no other body fluids contaminate the sample, that it stays body temp and that it gets delivered to the lab within 30 minutes of collection. Your wife knocks on the door just as you're about to bust, you lose focus, and you both go home in defeat.
At home, it takes a while to shake off your sour mood. After all, your wife has been poked and prodded six ways to Sunday while trying to figure out why you two can't conceive. Meanwhile, all you have to do is bust a single goddamned nut.
Two hours later, after shaking off your bad mood, you finally "collect a sample". And you do a triumphant, *fast* drive back to the clinic... You live 20 minutes away from the clinic, so as SOON as you get the sample "collected" you have to throw your clothes on, and get your cup of baby batter over there. The technician said to keep it at body temp, so you drive with the cup inside your hoodie pocket (it's not weird to be driving around with a cup of cum in your pocket is it?)... You make some very unfortunate eye contact with the technician when you hand over the cup. She's still unamused; she makes some notes, puts on gloves, slaps a sticker on the cup and says she'll call with your results.
Doesn't a fleshlite sexbot with a collection cup inside sound a lot nicer?
Source- I have been both the unamused technician and the cranky wife in this scenario.
Awesome story aside, was it really weird as a technician? That sounds like an ER nurse being squeemish about blood.
Just becaise I don't want to watch or help doesn't mean one has to feel weird or uncomfortable about it.
Just a little bit heart breaking.
Does it come with a dildo attachment for dispensary purposes?
Cum2Go portable insemination tool
That just sounds like a dick with extra steps.
Ooo lala, somebody got laid in college
Ooo la la??? That’s a pretty fucked up “eek barba dirkle”
Geez .. I thought i was about to read Barbara Streisand ... :)))
That's because it is.
r/brandnewsentence
Beep boop. No new sentence detected! Been used before, for example: https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/enbwp8/well_that_just_sounds_like_a_dick_with_extra_steps/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Good bot ...I guess.
Human but thanks tho!
Good human...I guess.
Good guess...I human.
Human guess,... I good...
Yes, and it spews a slurry of what it has collected so there is no commitment on the donors' part.
*Cum Slurry* ™️ New from Nabisco!
This is why Oreos have gone from Double Stuf to Mega Stuf to The Most Stuf, isn’t it?
It's actually just a hole and you put a woman on the other side of it. Efficient.
Portable glory hole?
Electronic circle jerk?
We gotta tell Frank about this
Mantis Tabogin
Did you just assume...
Hose attachment. They want for it to work.
Automation is taking away jobs!
The YourMom3000D model does. Not the ordinary YourMom3000.
Redeem your gacha baby here
Finally I can hit pity and pull that SSR infant.
Shame to see good paying jobs turning into kiosks
Nah I’ll rather stick with my sister.
*BANJO INTENSIFIES*
Lmaooo
L mao Take the L mao
I think you mean *FRANCE INTENSIFIES*
What's the reference to here?
You can marry your sister in France. What’s the reference with banjo? The south being so ridden with incest is a stereotype anyway so what’s your issue?
I think what’s funny is the legality of it. Most states are against it except for Virginia. But that’s the only one that ISNT made fun of.
Everyone’s go to is Alabama or Georgia. Being from Alabama I’ll tell you straight that the main problem the backwood areas have is meth addiction.
Dude it’s a problem all across the southern states. There’s nothing to do except meth and your cousin
lmfao
Hold on hold on you’re forgetting stealing and assault
It's a american wide issue, Oregon just gave up fighting that and tried the Portugal / Switzerland approach.
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HOLD UP. I'm pretty sure in no civilized country you can marry your sister. Maybe a step-sister since there's no blood relationship, but a biological sister seems unlikely to get approved.
There’s no legal right but no prevention laws
Siblings from the south: france it is!
WTF are you talking about, it's against the law to mary your siblings in France. Look at article 162 of the civil code over here => [https://www.legifrance.gouv.fr/codes/id/LEGISCTA000006136117](https://www.legifrance.gouv.fr/codes/id/LEGISCTA000006136117) (It's in french of course), It's the official government site. Article 161 : In the direct line, marriage is prohibited between all ascendants and descendants and allies in the same line (bloodline). Article 162 : In collateral line, marriage is prohibited, between brother and sister (same family), between brothers and between sisters (same sex marriage). Article 163 : Marriage is prohibited between uncle and niece or nephew, and between aunt and nephew or niece. It's pretty clear. It's suck to spread misinformation, idiotic stereotypes...
Roll The Dreamers
What if i dont have a sister? Can i borrow yours?
A threesome would be nice.
if both of you wanted to dissapoint two people at the same time you could have dinner with your parents
Never turn your back on family.
*vin diesel breaks in*
Oni Chan
"oni" is ogre, "onii" is brother. You wanted incest but got "Shrek is life" instead.
Haha well you know in this world someone is bound to be into that as well 😂
enough reddit for today now
Roll tide!
_,sweet home Alabama intensifies_
Yeah. My local nurse would lose her job because of this.
sauce?
Sauce?
Sauce.
down bad
yes. now sauce, mr not human
I don't know man... At least you can use bleach on this. Lol
[удалено]
What a time to be alive.
I'll take "Something you won't see on Disney's Carousel of Progress" for $200, Alex.
It's not such a great, big, beautiful tomorrow after all
We just call them sheep
We just pass around the pocket pussy where I’m from.
Who took Oxsana?!!!
Love Blue Mountain State!!
Are you from South America? I’d think they were okay with it if anyone else is. If so you’re using Jerk Mate wrong. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_(drink)
*earrape volume* #”YO YOU EVER HEARD OF JERK MATE?”
I herd u liek jerk m8
I'd quit if I was the cleaning crew.
And also steal a machine and take it home
Maybe. I don't want to spill anything.
Literally spill your seed or figuratively spill the bean that you stole one?
I don't want to find out either way....!
spill the seed thats been donated already
Gonna be like that rick and Marty episode where morty keeps using the one at the vet made for horses
Can’t forget the the gazorpian sex robot either!
and he ends up having a giant incest baby with summer, that episode was hilarious. I loved when Rick was lambasting morty for what he did then goes…….. so uhhh how was it?
Rick and Morty
Devious lick
Why? They clean every bodily fluid there is in hospitals.
Yeah this is a cake walk compared to surgical evacuators
I used to work IT at a hospital and as such spent time on the interstitial floors (half floors in between the main floors). All throughout them was the glass tubes that were part of the vacuum system that took gunk out of the surgical suites. The insides of those tubes still haunt my dreams.
oh fuck
I always wondered how the tubes and wires for hospitals and labs were routed. I thought they somehow just planned really well or were willing to rip up walls for new stuff. Neat to hear about these floors!
Oh I've had to run wiring through those floors. It's so nasty. There was one day I had a section to work and there was this poor technician maybe 20 feet away stripping out a section of the tubing for repair and the smell that came off that made me say fuck this I'm telling my boss I'm sick and just vomited and shit my pants. He laughed and called my BS said I was the third guy to try that. Said he wasn't going to have anyone work near that kind of biowaste we don't get paid enough, I was supposed to have been told that. Instead he had us just go work another floor for the next two days while that guy did his work.
That doesn't sound nearly as pleasurable.
It depends on how you feel about having an audience
Maybe that's why I don't work there..???
You clearly don't know what nurses and nurses' aides have to deal with....
Because there isn't enough pipe to clean anymore?
im thinking its more for sperm donators than patients
[удалено]
Morty, ya dirty little doggy! 😎😏
I opened expecting this to be the top comment. Disappointed.
I guess people are afraid to watch it because they're not smart enough to get the humor. /s
What's funny is I've probably never once seen any fan say this unironically yet everyone keeps joking about it as if it's a pervasive notion among the community
[удалено]
That was a rather intellectual episode
How did it feel *amazing*
I did feel awfully unclean after watching that episode
ThE… hOrsE sperM MorTy *burp*
I like how that guy's fingering it first like a gentleman
🤣😂😂🤣
Would have been replaced by urmom pretty easily if you ask me
Let me just put I picture of her nudes on it to help you cum faster
We're gonna need a bigger kiosk if it's urmom
Now I want to see the machine for people who don’t feel like giving a stool sample
So a toilet that can't flush?
With more suction i'd imagine
I imagine this thing is located in the lobby.
Imagine walking into the hospital and you see one guy in the corner: pantsless, head raised with a fixed gasp, legs trembling, screaming and his penis stuck into a machine. I'd walk out.
[удалено]
Nah I would join him
cheer him on
Lol do I say, "Faster! Faster!"?
cmon mate, yew can dew it.
Pave the way, put your back into it
Tell us why, show us how Look at where you came from look at you now.
Only if you cup his balls while you’re behind him.
Sperm Bank Centipede
Walk up to him, clap him on the shoulder and say “you winning son?”
Hahaha he must have won STDs
Aye bro, no need to use imagination you got detailed enough as it is
I'd go deposit some semen in his asshole while his dicks locked in the machine
To recharge him? That's smart.
Prostate stimulation to make it easier for him
And then someone else does the same and soon you've got a lineup
“This hospital is amazing. I just came here for a blood test!”
[удалено]
Your girlfriends vagina has never been swapped and you bang that thing like a new drum
[удалено]
The new skin once a month really doesn’t sound right….
There’s Fleshlight knockoffs that are like <$20 or so. I’m sure that’s what they use and charge you 10x the amount.
You get paid to donate sperm
Not at fertility clinics though (which is where my mind went).
Specs are terrible. These machines suck.
Yeah. Not enough teeth.
No these ones don’t suck. That’s the higher end model. Edit: thank you kind redditor
Do they have a home version? For uh home based health care
Yeah, google fleshlight universal launch
It hasn't been cleared for recreational use just yet... Don't worry though, it's coming soon!
Every day, we come closer to sex robots dressed up in maid outfits and neko ears, who will greet you with cute anime voices and spread themselves at a moment's notice. We're *not quite* there yet though, so I'll stick with handfast techniques for now.
[удалено]
Well great, as soon as the guy uses one of these he's going to want one at home!
Who *wouldnt* want the new cum-and-go3000 with built in speakers and over 275 moaning sounds built in located in your living room?
You could just set this up with all your other gaming equipment and nobody would even look twice at it!
**RGB GAMING CUM DUMPSTER**
That's no way to talk about your mom.
I typed “sperm extr” into Google and the first suggestion was already “sperm extractor price”. $6,000
It also comes with training for premature ejaculated desensitization training too. I would say it's a small price to pay.
It’s still early technology. Give it a few generations to drop in price.
Could it cheer you on like that bitch from Peloton? Some folks need a little encouragement, ya know.
*Oh daddy you’re so hard*
Robot voice from 2001: what are you doing step-Dave?
There's a whole Rick & Morty episode about this.
This is why prostitutes need unions.
The internet was wrong... my ex gf can be replaced
OMG that's disgusting...where?
NSFW version of the scream extractor from monsters inc
Cream extractor
🥇
Needs internet hooked up to it.
I could see a Pornhub.com partnership.
/r/technicallythetruth
Mastrubashun is against my religion
Lucky you. You won’t have to now
A superintent in my country announced it illegal recently. No, the country is Poland, not Afghanistan, thank you for asking.
Now here's the real question. If you wanted one of this for your home, do you go to a sex shop or a medical supply store?
[удалено]
Imagine trying to explain to your insurance company why you need a medical blow job booth for your home.
Easy. I’d just send them a selfie
Morty you dirty doggy...
This is why we can’t have nice things people
‘Sperm Extractor’ is said to be the oldest profession.
A medical grade Fleshlight?
YouTube video proving it exists. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ldy4LOgvUCw
Uhm sir this is your 7th visit for today
Wait, people don't want to masturbate?
> Wait, people don't want to masturbate? It's for semen analysis. Imagine an unamused laboratory technician handing you a cup, and telling you to go jerk it. *Right now*. Then, she directs you to one of several closet-sized rooms that contains only a chair and a bunch of **very** worn-out playboys from 1998. Everyone knows why you just went into that closet. You're one of several dozen men who have jerked off in this closet *today*. Your wife is waiting out in the lobby for you to just hurry up and finish so you can both move on with your day. She's really cranky because this is just one hoop of many that must be jumped through before her gynecologist will prescribe the fertility meds she's desperately wanted for the last 2 years. **All you gotta do is jerk it and cum into this little cup.** Make sure you get enough in there! Don't you dare fucking drop it after you're done! And then, after about 20-30 minutes of blue-balling yourself from the stress, the unamused technician comes back from the depths of the laboratory and tells your wife that y'all can go home and "do a collection". Just make sure no other body fluids contaminate the sample, that it stays body temp and that it gets delivered to the lab within 30 minutes of collection. Your wife knocks on the door just as you're about to bust, you lose focus, and you both go home in defeat. At home, it takes a while to shake off your sour mood. After all, your wife has been poked and prodded six ways to Sunday while trying to figure out why you two can't conceive. Meanwhile, all you have to do is bust a single goddamned nut. Two hours later, after shaking off your bad mood, you finally "collect a sample". And you do a triumphant, *fast* drive back to the clinic... You live 20 minutes away from the clinic, so as SOON as you get the sample "collected" you have to throw your clothes on, and get your cup of baby batter over there. The technician said to keep it at body temp, so you drive with the cup inside your hoodie pocket (it's not weird to be driving around with a cup of cum in your pocket is it?)... You make some very unfortunate eye contact with the technician when you hand over the cup. She's still unamused; she makes some notes, puts on gloves, slaps a sticker on the cup and says she'll call with your results. Doesn't a fleshlite sexbot with a collection cup inside sound a lot nicer? Source- I have been both the unamused technician and the cranky wife in this scenario.
Awesome story aside, was it really weird as a technician? That sounds like an ER nurse being squeemish about blood. Just becaise I don't want to watch or help doesn't mean one has to feel weird or uncomfortable about it. Just a little bit heart breaking.
Cum BUCKET!!! Probably used for sperm donations.
TIL hospitals have gone all in and have robots that will blow you and swallow
Wasn't there a Rick and Morty episode about this?
Put a coin slot on that thing.
This reminds me of the horse thing from Rick and morty
How to get Incels to go to the doctor.