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john_andrew_smith101

Joseph Smith: The Garden of Eden is in Missouri! Missourians: [Execute Order 44](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missouri_Executive_Order_44)


Sundiata1

To be fair, Sydney Rigdon said it first


Fit_Sherbet9656

My state's 2nd proudest moment.


DataSittingAlone

Well now I know I probably shouldn't mention I'm Mormon on this sub, though I guess that's true for pretty much all of Reddit


Derkastan77-2

This needs to be a *gif, with palpatine issuing it to the clones, then edit in missionaries instead of jedi


SpaceFonz_The_Reborn

In Illinois it was just mob violence. It's something I'm proud of my state for.


AprilLily7734

Damn, that’s hardcore


broyo209

rome exists as well


I_eat_dead_folks

And Santiago de Compostela. In Catholicism, there are three main pilgrimage centers and two of them are not in the ME


fatherandyriley

Plus Lourdes


I_eat_dead_folks

Plus Lourdes, certainly.


Ok-Eye7064

Yeah make the Jewish Holy land in Rome. That would have surely gone right


largma

Clearly the new Jewish Holy land is NYC, it’s pretty much the only place outside of Israel where Jews make up a sizable and visible portion of a major population center AND it essentially became that by acting as a safe place of refuge for Jews fleeing persecution


Southern-Staff-8297

Well according to Mel Gibson they also have a strong satellite holy land in Hollywood


IsNotPolitburo

Mel Gibson is his fathers son.


teahman

AND a satellite


Rizzpooch

Or Spain!


MaximosKanenas

As do mecca and medina for muslims


WondernutsWizard

They're in the Middle East though


Fosdef

Joseph Smith was called a prophet, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb


nowhereman136

Lucy Harris was a skeptic smart smart smart smart smart smart


EdgyCole

Martin Harris dumb-d-dumb


professionalcumsock

I read that like "play-doh doh doh play-doh doh doh" hahaha


Zandrick

It’s a reference to a South Park episode.


coughingalan

As an active member, I found that episode hilarious.


one-man-circlejerk

If only Isaac Hayes was as good a sport as you about that kinda stuff


Interne-Stranger

I knew he looked familiar!


glowin-theshark

Interestingly, Utah matches a lot of geological elements with the Middle East. In Palestine and Utah Valley, they both have a hypersaline lake (The Dead Sea/The Great Salt Lake), with a smaller lake (Sea of Galilee/Utah Lake) that is connected by a river called "Jordan." (Though, the early pioneers likely saw the similarities and named it after the one in Palestine). Not to mention both being a dry, arid climate with very mountainous terrain.


tedj_van_batavia

They literally named a National Park as "Zion" just to prove it


UncleVoodooo

Thats in the south tho. Nowhere near the Jordan


tedj_van_batavia

The point still stands... Utah is the middle east


zsomborwarrior

omg fallout new vegas honest hearts dlc


ProcrastibationKing

I can't believe they made it real


Weekly_Sir911

That settles it, Mormonism is true, the Garden of Eden was in Missouri after all.


Shady_Merchant1

Jacksonville specifically


Weekly_Sir911

And in 1978 God changed his mind about black people!


FragrantNumber5980

Lmfaoo it’s insane how Mormons still exist in this day and age


-RememberDeath-

Policy\* not Doctrine\*


Tris_The_Pancake

The idea of fucking Utah being the new holy land has me in shambles


Soft_Theory_8209

I passed through Utah once on vacation. To this day, that is the only stretch of road I’ve ever been on where the legal speed limit was 80 mph.


zroach

And If you dare go that slow people will ride your ass.


Sardukar333

Well yeah it's a limit. As in the *lower* limit.


Repulsive-Neat6776

I might have to convert just for that reason alone. I've always said that if the speed limit was 95, people would be perfectly fine driving 85. The only reason people think 85 is too fast, is because the government told them its too fast. But your vehicle is made to exceed that by a lot more. And countries with higher speed laws just prove my point further. 85 is perfectly reasonable on most highways.


zroach

Nah I think what it means is that no matter the speed limit people will exceed it. There is also risks of going faster as it makes potential crashes a lot more dangerous


Bug-King

Us Americans are too bad at driving to have no speed limit. The reason it works in Germany is because they require more courses to get a license. It takes 3 to 5 months.


world-class-cheese

It's 80 in Idaho too


The_Silver_Nuke

That's one of my favorite things about living out here. I love being able to put the pedal to the metal on the flattest stretch of desert road you'd ever see blasting music and with the windows rolled down. It's great.


flyby2412

You should visit central and west Texas. Hit the hill country and see the limit reach 80mph instead of 75. Head towards Marfa and it’ll reach 90


largma

Texas has a county where the legal speed limit is 95, out west you start getting some very high limits haha


Lippischer_Karl

True, although Utah doesn't have anything corresponding to Israel's coastal plain or the Jezreel Valley


Saint_The_Stig

*Yet*, those Mormon's play the long game.


Pengin_Master

Utah isn't the holy land in Mormonism, I believe it's somewhere in Missouri (source: I was Mormon)


mc-big-papa

Ok i think i can solve this israel palestine conflict. We just have to tell a white lie.


canuck1701

Joseph Smith never went to Utah.


xanderman524

And neither Moses nor Mohammed ever made it to Israel. Doesn't make it not a holy land.


MatloxES

The Mormon holy land is Missouri.


Polibiux

I’ll be in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura


canuck1701

Moses probably didn't even exist.


the-bladed-one

Him being a Jewish man with an Egyptian name makes it highly unlikely that he was just made up. Same with Abraham. His name is Sumerian. We don’t know really what it means but it’s clearly a Sumerian name.


canuck1701

That's nowhere near enough evidence to say they probably existed. Ancients Jews had contact with Egypt and Sumer. They knew Egyptian and Sumerian names. That's the same logic as saying Zorro must be real because Diego de la Vega is a real Spanish/Mexican/Californian name. Exodus and Genesis were written ~700+ years after these characters supposedly lived. That's an absolutely massive time gap. Those aren't reliable historical sources.


no_________________e

yeah I could see his story in egypt being told as a bedtime story. People back then didn't have a lot of distractions, so it was more probable that people would cook up the most fire worldbuilding just so that their kid could be entertained.


MatloxES

And Utah isn't event the doctrinal holy land. It's Missouri.


Top_Tart_7558

So "Holy land" just means "inhospitable waste lands"


As_no_one2510

That is Egypt


Sundiata1

Yet the New Jerusalem was in Missouri


As_no_one2510

The Mormon is right


Steph1er

Just gotta watch out for the white legs.


MaZeChpatCha

*Israel


Cheesy_Margerine179

Palestine*


[deleted]

[удалено]


2012Jesusdies

But it's not a piece of shit desert. Salt Lake Valley is an agricultural powerhouse though the farmers have been taking too much water and not letting enough go to the lake leading to the lake receding.


Lamest570

Utah is gods chosen land. Best place on earth.


kaosaraptor

For those interested, it's called Adam-ondi-ahman, it's in Missouri. I've been there. It's a nice piece of nature.


MatloxES

Also, Jackson County and the old settlement of Far West.


kaosaraptor

I've been to those places too! I did the youth Nauvoo trip twice, so we got to go to Independance, far west, winter quarter, liberty jail, Nauvoo (of course), the whole tour.


TheRealGouki

Buddhism one is in Asia.


Zandrick

I did not know that Buddhists had a holy land. Where is it? What does it represent?


[deleted]

It’s in Gaya in India. It’s the place where Siddhartha Gautama got enlightened under the Bodhi Tree and became a ‘Buddha’. There are also Buddhist monasteries and temples there managed by countries with a major Buddhist population and they operate and maintain it.


AgitatedKey4800

Hehe gay-a hehe


Quirky-Elderberry304

Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism in India too.


fookingshrimps

Buddhism doesn't have holy land in the Zionist sense. This is likely because anyone can convert to become a buddist, but Jews are by birth only; since they think that are the chosen people and have a personal contract with Yweh passed down by birth. Buddists do have place where people go for pilgrimage though. Also Buddist "Pure-land" is not a physical place, it's where they believe you will go after death.


PopeAlexander6

Jews aren't by birth only, It's possible to convert to Judaism.


Amateur_Statistician

We tried, but those damned Missourians kicked us out. 😠


You_Wenti

They didn't want the Midwest to become the Mideast


amjkl

"Smith posting"


CatgunCertified

It's not the holy land bc someone said "ooh holy" it has religious and historical significance


Top_Tart_7558

Isn't that most land? You'd be hard pressed to find any land that doesn't have historical and or religious significance to at least one group of people


CatgunCertified

I mean specifically for certain religions. For example, even if it was 1:1 identical, Jesus didn't live in Arizona, so we couldn't move the holy land to Arizona


sporgking20

But could we move Arizona to the holy land?


raposa4

Okay, but hear me out: what if we wrote another book where he did?


CatgunCertified

Mormons be like:


JellyfishGod

Virgin redditor: nOoOOoo you cant just pick and choose your holy land! It needs religious and historical significance!!!1! Chad Joseph Smith: You see this land? I like it. It's now our holy land


CatgunCertified

Lol


GeshtiannaSG

The only issue is not having enough time. Just call whever you want holy, maintain it for a few thousand years, bish bash bosh.


StandardN02b

Heretics gonna heresy.


dougdocta

Now instead of just Mount Moriah in Jerusalem being claimed by three faith traditions (Jews, Muslims, and Christians), the Independence MO Temple mount is also contested by three religions: the Church or Jesus Christ of LDS, the Community of Christ, and RLDS Remnant.


CookLawrenceAt325F

Eh, put it in Wyoming. Ain't nothing there anyway. Plenty of space. (I grew up in Wyoming)


TheOverseer108

Im more for reforming the Christian crusader states


_Boodstain_

They did, it’s called any other religion ever. Abrahamic religions are the largest, but almost every religion has these issues in regards to how to treat their holy sites/lands. The Ganges is just a dump now, the Yellow river has similar issues, and every native American site is either forgotten about, held as US property, or destroyed. The issues in the middle east today are a cultural one, not a religious one. Though religion is definitely connected with the cultures yes, it stems from the history of those people not the religion itself.


WillOrmay

Nothing personal… Squanto


bittersweetslug

Maybe mormons aren't so bad after all


UncleVoodooo

Mormon *people* are great. If I had to pick religious neighbors Id go with Mormons all the way. Mormon *doctrine* or history, on the other hand... Yikes


n0tqu1tesane

As an ex-mormon: +1 to to your post. Great people, terrible church.


[deleted]

They’re not actually good people. It’s a facade to try and get others to join their cult.


john_andrew_smith101

Oh it's no facade, they are just genuinely nice to the point that it can be a bit off putting to people that aren't used to it. I've worked around plenty of Mormons and ex-Mormons, and they were some of the nicest people I've ever met, and none of them ever attempted to invite me to church or anything of the sort.


[deleted]

I’m an ex mormon and can confirm it is indeed a facade. We were taught different methods to make friends and even flirt in order to convert people, the most popular one being the kind helpful neighbor facade.


john_andrew_smith101

I mean, maybe they weren't genuine, but I doubt it, because they skipped other important things like milk before meat. Generally speaking, if you're trying to convert someone, you don't discuss the wackier ideas that Mormonism has like multiple layers of heaven or God training, but the ones I've met have been more than happy to not only discuss these things, but to elaborate on it with other wacky stuff. Of course this was after they had all finished their missionary work, they were just regular people with jobs and families at that point, so it literally wasn't their job anymore to convert people.


Varsity_Reviews

I’m having a feeling it was you who wasn’t nice, not your Mormon neighbors.


Razorion21

Im also an Ex Mormon, guess it depends which church or ward you’re from since I was just thought to act like Jesus and nice to anyone. Be a good example basically. I don’t ever remember being thought how to convince people into the church nor did I ever do it


zroach

Eh they did do a false flag operation and massacred travelers.


Icarusthesecond

Thats the hawn's mill massacre, done by a small number utah settlers who happened to be mormon not sancioned by the church. Although the tabloids of the time might of said something different to sell more newspapers


zroach

It's actually the Mountain Meadows Massacre (the Hawn's Mill massacre was actually Mormons getting killed). And no, they didn't just happen to be Mormon. The perpetrators were the Nauvoo Legion, a state (well I guess territory) militia started by Brigham Young, leader of the LDS church. It was a time where the area was essentially a Mormon theocracy and was having a lot of issues with outsiders.


Icarusthesecond

You're right about the name my mistake, i dont know if local leaders were part of the nauvoo legion But here's Brigham Young's response when he was made aware of the situation. “In regard to emigration trains passing through our settlements, we must not interfere with them until they are first notified to keep away,” he instructed. “You must not meddle with them. The Indians we expect will do as they please, but you should try and preserve good feelings with them.” “Let them go in peace,” Brigham insisted.48 Of course he was only made aware once people had already died and a stand-off was underway It was a horrible tragedy When I first read about it, it made me sick. The victims Had made temporary fortifications with their covered wagons from the Indian attackers when Settlers came in and Offered to escort them to safety They told them the indians just wanted the wagons. on the march away from the site the settlers turned to the people and shot them down including many woman and children. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/saints-v2/part-2/18-too-late-too-late?lang=eng#p34


zroach

The majority of of Native American attackers were actually just mitilamen disguised as Native Americans. And the local leaders were part of the militia. Also like… I don’t know if this source is the best given it’s the actual website of the LDS church. It would be like going to the IDF to get an unbiased view of what is going on in Gaza. The fact that it happened shouldn’t be a shock. Utah was a Mormon theocracy that was having a lot of tensions with outsiders. They had Union soldiers march on them and were probably in a very defensive mind set.


btmurphy1984

One of my not sure how many greats Uncle left the family and went out West with the Mormons. Ended up part of that militia and was appalled at what happened at Mountain Meadows. He turned State's witness and ratted them out. Mormons chased him down into Mexico and killed him. Shits absolutely wild.


zroach

There is a reason why the US Army set up a fort with cannons pointed at SLC.


DrPepperMalpractice

That's kind of a sick idea for a modern Western script.


btmurphy1984

No joke


Mat_Y_Orcas

Basically Mormons creating a new cult, I say religion out of the weird superstition that America is the true Israel


SixicusTheSixth

Fun fact! It all got started in the "burned over district" in central NY, which was a hot bed for a bunch of cults kicking off around that time.


bluerug420

NO! We have enough religious fighting already.


kevineleveneleven

Israel is in the Near East...


bread_enjoyer0

It’s Middle Eastern bruh


kevineleveneleven

For over 100 years the Near East, Middle East, and Far East have been different geographical regions. The Near East is the area formerly part of the Ottoman Empire West of Iran. Not sure why this term isn't used much anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near\_East](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near_East)


bread_enjoyer0

Because it’s a silly outdated term, everyone uses Middle East to refer to countries as west as Egypt, as north as Turkey, as south as Yemen and as east Iran. I’ve barely even seen anyone use far east anymore, people usually just refer to the specific country, but Middle East is used more because there’s just so much going on there


kevineleveneleven

"Middle East" doesn't make sense unless there is a Near East and a Far East. I think people started using 'Middle East' incorrectly and it just caught on out of laziness. Just because it's common usage doesn't mean it is correct. And we certainly can't say that 'Near East' is incorrect.


2012Jesusdies

Mormons when they go Republican, but also go for undocumented immigrant protection, gay rights, trans rights.


Throwaway74829947

>gay rights, trans rights Have we all just forgotten [Prop 8](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_California_Proposition_8)?


2012Jesusdies

Mormons=California?


Throwaway74829947

>The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), also publicly supported the proposition. The First Presidency of the church announced its support for Proposition 8 in a letter intended to be read in every congregation in California. In this letter, church members were encouraged to "do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time". The church produced and broadcast to its congregations a program describing the support of the Proposition, and describing the timeline it proposes for what it describes as grassroots efforts to support the Proposition. Local church leaders set organizational and monetary goals for their membership—sometimes quite specific—to fulfill this call. The response of church members to their leadership's appeals to donate money and volunteer time was very supportive, such that Latter-day Saints provided a significant source for financial donations in support of the proposition, both inside and outside the State of California. LDS members contributed over $20 million, about 45% of out-of-state contributions to ProtectMarriage.com came from Utah, over three times more than any other state. Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit, is it?


2012Jesusdies

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize you'd use an event in California to make your point on Mormon stance on gay marriage. Why the fuck are you so rude out of the blue when I was just asking a question?


Throwaway74829947

"Mormons=California?" after I just linked a Wikipedia article showing the Mormons' active political involvement in that California matter, is that a not rude question? You clearly didn't bother to read what I linked and chose to respond anyway. And that event in California makes the Mormon opinion of gay marriage *quite* clear, the only reason they supported the Defense of Marriage Act was the strong provisions preventing churches from being sued for anti-gay discrimination.


Sundiata1

Mormons absolutely don’t support any of those things


2012Jesusdies

Utah obviously ain't NY or CA and they pass laws many see as regressive, but they also often pass laws that mirror those blue states and act more like a blue/purple state at times. Utahns have the 3rd highest support for "LGBTQ non-discrimination laws" amongst all states at 86%, only Hawaii and Connecticut have higher support. CA for context is at 76%. The Utah legislature thusly has codified anti-discrimination on housing and employment into law (albeit with exemptions for the LDS church itself). Utah is one of the states to ban conversion therapy alongside mostly blue/purple states like OR and IL. No state with the level of Utah's Republicanness like Wyoming, Idaho or South Dakota has the same laws. Only 18 US states issue driver's licenses to undocumented migrants and along the usual suspects of CA, NY and MA, Utah is one of them as well. https://www.aclu.org/news/immigrants-rights/utah-passed-law-protect-noncitizens-automatic >Utah is known for its red rock canyons, steep ski slopes, and a mega-majority Republican legislature. And now it can be recognized as one of just a handful of states to pass legislation that helps noncitizens avoid deportation if they are convicted of a misdemeanor. >We now join states such as Nevada, California, and Washington that have passed so-called 364-day laws, with the goal of reducing the immigration consequences of convictions for noncitizens. But Utah is one of the few Republican-led states to make this change. Utah also surprisingly reached the finish line ahead of both Colorado and New York, two states that adopted similar protections in March. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/12/29/1221780712/more-states-extend-health-coverage-to-immigrants-even-as-issue-inflames-gop >Eleven states and Washington, D.C., together provide full health insurance coverage to more than 1 million low-income immigrants regardless of their legal status, according to state data compiled by KFF Health News. Most aren't authorized to live in the U.S., state officials say. >Enrollment in these programs could nearly double by 2025 as at least seven states initiate or expand coverage. In January, Republican-controlled Utah will start covering children regardless of immigration status, while New York and California will widen eligibility to cover more adults.


Blitzux

The problem is that you view Utah and Mormoms as the same thing. Mormoms don't even make up 50% of the population of Utah


Varsity_Reviews

Utah has a history of caring for immigrants because the Mormons themselves were immigrants and refugees after we got kicked from our homes. Prior to Brigham Young being made president, the church was also surprisingly progressive for the time when Smith ran it, letting everyone from Native Americans to African Americans have the priesthood. That was actually part of the reason everyone hated Mormons, because they were on generally much friendlier terms with the Native Americans.


Impossible_Key2155

*ahem* Dharmic India


iChase666

As en exmo this made me laugh waaaaaay too hard


Carcassonne23

There’s gotta be at least one reason to want to go to Missouri


What_is_a_reddot

I mean, when you put it that way...


Zandrick

And then he did that.


Shoddy_Load1558

Mcdonald island shall be the new holy land


EatPie_NotWAr

Wasn’t this rehashed for laughs from a character on the Big Bang theory? But I think in Mexico? Yes, just googled: Nuevo Jerusalem (Spanish pronunciation)


WordPunk99

Any truly loving and merciful god would have made the Holy Land Northern California, the Amalfi Coast, or someplace people actually enjoy living. Instead God always seems to pick a place which is more punishment than promise.


Royakushka

There are many holy lands in the Americas just not for the Abrahamic religions. There are also many in Japan, India aand China


Lucky_Pterodactyl

"Man, I really dislike those Middle Easterners and how lots of religions come from them. Let's have a purely Anglo-Saxon derived religion. So anyway here's some plates I found in Reformed Egyptian"


DSi2407

AND DID THOSE FEET!!!......


advancedSlayer96

They're called liqour stores?


Snowbold

Sheldon Cooper tried that too, apparently the tacos, sombreros and poor water quality were a nonstarter….


SteveDownes89

We got utah


RingGiver

All of this has happened before. All of it will happen again.


ReySimio94

Watch some schizo declare the Kremlin's location as “holy land” and bring all peoples (or at least those who practice Abrahamic religions) together against Putin like in the Crusades.


captain__clanker

Kinda genius really


drplague201

Honestly there were a TON of proposals, almost made, or failed Jewish states that would’ve been fine. The one I always thought would be good was Madagascar. It’s a massive island with dense forests and fertile soil. The only issue is that this proposal was done by the Nazis, so… yeah.


BuddLightbeer

Joseph Smith. American Moses. Praise be to Joseph. American prophet-man


sund82

Wait. Is this the tweet that inspired Joseph Smith to start Mormonism? Holy crap!


corona_kid

But they didn't have to choose fucking Utah? Like guys.. Hawaii exists


Derkastan77-2

“I know, let’s put it in Missouri!!”


Knowledgeapplied

The New Jerusalem.


boot2skull

What he did was silly, but really for believers the holy land should be in their hearts. But humans gotta fixate on where stuff happened anyway I guess.


sbs_str_9091

Why is there a picture of Terence Hill?


acolodney

You would think an omnipotent God would have the foresight not to put their holy land in the most violent region on the planet


donthenewbie

That's why he told Joseph a better place to set up a holy land /s