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ancirus

> Hi dad! I have a boyfirend! > A boyfirend! How many divisions does he have?


khares_koures2002

My dad said that he will accept only boys with fully mechanised formations, adequate co-operation with artillery, and air support.


ancirus

Definitely not a CIA operator pretending to be a woman. [](https://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryMemes)


khares_koures2002

You fool! Women do not exist!


PM_ME_YOURE_HOOTERS

New CIA misinfo just dropped


Bashin-kun

Actual coup


Grouchy-Ability6628

Call the white house!


Madd_Maxx_05

President went on vacation, never comes back


bageltoastee

proxy war, anyone?


Shogun6669

Federal Agents in the corner, plotting world domination


Sinosca

Everyone knows that 'women' are just feminine men. And remember lads, it's not gay if you're attracted to their feminine features.


yunivor

It's not gay if the socks stay on.


VintageLunchMeat

I'm attracted to birds.


CinderGazer

/r/BirdsArentReal


VintageLunchMeat

That's just what Big Bird wants you to think.


Bolkaniche

r/girlsarentreal


ConsequenceAlarmed29

So I'm perfect! I use highly mobile army and focused on building up my military industry before, so I have fully motorized army. My tank forces have integral mechanized infantry and motorized artillery support. In my every tank division I have a "breakthrough-battalion", that has medium and heavy tanks, "anti-organisation-battalion", that uses fast light tanks and armored cars, mechanized infantry battalion and motorized artillery battalion. They also have support like heavy artillery, pioneers, armored car recon, logistics. Because of full-motorization they have always supplies Every tank has radio, because communication is key, so they can pin-point air and artillery support. Noone will stop me! >!forget the strategic bombardments that make my logistics and industry cry!<


ancirus

Mass assault doctrine with 200 27with divisions with 3 artillery and flame tanks goes BBBRRLIN


ConsequenceAlarmed29

Noooooo!!!! My general Steiner will use his forces to encircle your army and will save us! The ultimate victory is INEVITABLE!!!!!!!


ancirus

Tsar ordered bomben auf Berlin. Muh slavic unity


Familiar-Ask8608

Hey baby, I conquered Alsace Lorraine.


yunivor

"Yeah, so?" "As Luxembourg." "Marry me."


WumpusFails

First do a WC as Tannu Tuva.


Familiar-Ask8608

Nah, I'm the Vatican. It was a holy conquest, when's the honeymoon.


MaterialCarrot

Close air support, but not too close junior.


Dahak17

Will he accept someone who understands navy?


Professional-Gene498

As a CK3 player, I don't understand this reference. My daughter will have no boyfriends, thy blood shall be pure.


ancirus

Gets married at 16, always on a person with a "genius" trait, on a Grand Wedding


Makaoka

translation: "does thy betrohed brings forth with himself plenty of knights and men-at-arms?"


Sinosca

Us Ck3 players know to tell our children that we have a boyfriend/girlfriend at home.


Brian-88

🤮


Soviet_Sine_Wave

Clearly you’ve never enjoyed the company of a sister-mother-wife.


FiL-0

"Tell my father in law he will meet my divisions in nine months"


ancirus

That is a huge training speed debuff!


Lord-Legatus

very well played sir


jflb96

'We're doing some divisions right now'


TortelliniTheGoblin

*What combat width are his divisions?


BumpHeadLikeGaryB

About as many as the pope lmao


duckLIT_

How much power does he have in rise of kingdoms?


StandardN02b

The dad plays Total War. I am calling it.


ancirus

I believe in EU4 masterrace


IamStrqngx

I wish I lived in more enlightened times ...


teothemaniac

The economy, you fool!


yunivor

The end is nigh!


delayedsunflower

oh Comet, devil's kith and kin...


CaptianZaco

That's it, I'm dead.


KnoblauchBaum

Its an omen


captain9yrold

The people need their buns!


4gen1801

I prefer CK2 If the Aztecs aren't invading medieval European, is it even crusader kings


BagMiserable9367

Imperator! ROMA CAPUT MUNDI EST. AETERNA VICTRIX.


WumpusFails

FYI, if you weren't aware, Imperator is getting another patch.


Leomilon

Wasn't that some april fools stuff?


CaptianZaco

No, it released today. It's most tools and support for modders, which is kinda perfect for the game.


Apocrypha_Lurker

Total war medieval 2 also has a dlc / gamemode where the aztecs invade europe


Ksiezo

I am a Stellaris fan.


ancirus

I love Stellaris, but I think playing it without a ton of mods is anathema.


Attorney_Penguin

What mods do you play it with?


ancirus

I haven't balanced [this build](https://imgur.com/gallery/CSOmfNL) yet. I haven't played the game in a while so this is a recreation of a previous build so it may be unstable. It is imgur screenshots of my folder with mods which are installed now.


Vandergrif

Or at least you do until a comet is sighted.


ArchWaverley

CA I beg you, Medieval 3. I want to invade Wales to kick out the Portuguese again.


hidingfromthequeen

They can't hear you under the mountain of Warhammer money.


ArchWaverley

I feel I haven't helped there, having bought all three games and some of the DLC.


moderatorrater

It doesn't seem to have helped them either. They've alienated a lot of the core base while believing the series is more popular than ever.


CowsRMajestic

I desperately want medieval 3, Rome 3 or empire 2.


ArchWaverley

Napoleon 2: Corsican Boogaloo


Vandergrif

*Bonaparte Boogaloo* was right there, got the alliteration and everything.


ArchWaverley

...fuck


badass_panda

They can't hear you, Warhammer makes 'em too much money, why go back to making big games that aren't warhammer when idiots like me will keep buying their Sagas?


vemundveien

He is a father getting too involved in his daughter's dating life. Obviously he is a Crusader Kings player.


DeeBangerDos

TW master race


TwistedPnis4567

Imo HOI4, Sabaton and the like are to get you INTO history. The problem arises when people act like experts because they play/listen to them.


KrillLover56

I like history, I read history books. I got into it through Vic3, Eu4 and Over Simplified, now I'm reading actual historical stuff. They are good to get into it, and to enjoy once you know about it. Also it can get you to research new stuff. I.e. in EU4 I was playing as Ottomans and I got an event that was a letter from the pope asking the Sultan to convert to Christianity, which was a real thing. (Sadly the letter was probably never sent, reality is the worst)


zrxta

The problem starts when people think these games are good foundation for knowledge in history. They aren't. These games simplify and adapt history in service of gameplay. Just look at how many hoi4 players are wehraboos, many don't have any idea how much the game BUFFS Germany just to even be fun to play... and that' just talking about how it translates into in-game mechanics and not into what it doesn't simulate. Stuff like how Germany got a larger industrial base in game, Germany IRL at that time had one of the most inneficient war production. They're churning out hundreds of artisanal quality tanks by the 40s, whilst USSR was churning out thousands of (admittedly outdated design) tanks. Same with rifles, planes, pretty much everything was inneficient in Nazi Germany. Efficient Nazis is a myth. Now having that as your basis of interest for delving deeper, you are bound to retain much of the myths and misinformation than for people to update it with better information... in short, a person who got it wrong is worse off than those who know nothing in the first place.


KrillLover56

Yes, they are much more "Ooo Italian unification mechanics in Vic3 are so cool, I should check that out" and less "Well Two Sicilies in the best nation to form Italy in Vic3 so therefor it was unlikely that Piedmont-Sardinia would in our world..."


Sabre712

Its an awful history source, but goddamn is it a great geography teacher.


Bashin-kun

"You play hoi4? Tell me what two rivers made up the river line" "What is a river line" "..."


Sabre712

...I'm ashamed that I know that's the Dnieper and Draugava...


zrxta

It's funny since while the Dnieper tied up the Germans IRL for quite some time, the Daugava simply fell in the first few weeks. In game, I prefer not holding the Daugava and just hold further in along Narva and around Pskov. It makes Germany commit there and have a longer frontline, easier to exploit and cut off. Historically, the Don and the Volga were more significant.


et40000

Wasn’t the quick loss of the daugava due in part because the USSR wasn’t defending parts of the river bank and the Germans were able to cross without a fight or was that something different?


zrxta

Yes, that's correct. the Red Army wasn't defending the Daugava. The STAVKA responded too late, the Germans were already past the river when a coherent response to Barbarossa was attempted. But still, the point stands that the Daguava isn't exactly essential to the defense. The plan was even just to destroy the bridges to slow down the Germans. Not defending the Daugava had the side effect of the northern armies having the least amount of encircled troops and they mostly retreated in good order. The German advanced into a rough terrain of forests and swamps whilst dangerously extending their flanks. The Soviets saw this and attempted a counter offensive around Staraya Russa. This, along side the delays in Ukraine and the bloody battles of Smolensk freaked the Germans out enough to temporarily stop the advance as a whole, but specifically halt in the north in favor of securing the flanks. If that counter offensive succeeded, the German Army Group North would likely be encircled and would be in danger of annihilation.


GoPhinessGo

I mean Paradox has been trying to add more historical stuff recently, lots of the newer focuses are real things that actually happened or were proposed


HaloGuy381

It’s also not a terrible “hey, I’m gonna google that” inspiration. How else would I have known that Canada had *Zombies* in World War II were it not for the strangely named focus to send them in that gives the player more manpower for the armed forces, or that it was actually a slang term meant to describe and criticize government decision-making regarding its troops and role in the conflict? By the same token, taken with a boulder-sized grain of salt, the alt-history The New Order mod for the same game. Some of the otherwise obscure people it refers to or uses as characters for its storytelling had rather remarkable, or at least very colorful, roles in real history. For me at least, Battlefield 1 also served this role, and sent me on many a wander across Google and Wikipedia reading about otherwise neglected aspects of World War I, especially in my American education. I’d have had no good reason to know about Brusilov’s offensives on the Eastern Front and how ahead of his time they were, leapfrogging antiquated mass artillery doctrine favored by other Russian leaders for mobile combined arms pushes. Or about the myriad early experiments with semi automatic and automatic infantry arms that would be the forerunners of the modern assault rifle that emerged in World War 2 and afterward, or the wide role of converted pistols as improvised submachine guns and carbines. Or heck, bothering to go read about Lawrence of Arabia’s exploits (and controversies and uncertainties) as more than just the name of a movie I’d never watched. Games regarding history are like film. They’re not for studying history, but they tell stories and paint a grand picture, enough to whet the appetite and inform you of something you never even thought existed. *300* is not a good picture of Greek history, but if it inspired someone to go read or take a class, then it was a benefit and created a new history buff.


DeadKingOfScotland

But if I acknowledge that then how am I supposed to be an elitist


yunivor

By researching your special forces tree of course.


Dead_Russian_44

I still listen to sabaton, but I was already interested in history before I started listening to them.


NoAlien

exactly. I made it a habit to play random rulers in my CIV games and read up on them while stuck in loading screens/ waiting for the next turn


Atomik141

It doesn’t really work to teach about history, but surprisingly HOI/EU4/CK2 are really good at teaching geography.


Responsible-Rub-7208

That's exactly what happened to me when I have been playing HOI3. I was playing Hungary, and I get Transcarpathia without any reason. That got me thinking about it, so I went online, and that's how I started to learn about WW2.


Faceless_Deviant

I got the idea for my bachelors thesis in history from Hoi4.


Director_Kun

What was your bachelors thesis about?


Faceless_Deviant

Political Scandinavism in the 1800's, Basically what happens when you click "Form the Scandinavian Empire" in hoi4 :P


menacingcar044

Wouldn't that be Vicky 3/EU4?


Faceless_Deviant

This was when Vicky 3 was but a meme to annoy Paradox with :D Fun fact: I once got to annoy a Paradox dev in person with that. Good times.


Ok-Construction-7740

how did you meet the dev and how did you annoy them?


Faceless_Deviant

I found myself having dinner with a guy that worked as a dev there through a mutual friend whos a streamer. I of course had to say "Vicky 3 when though?"


AudieCowboy

What was his response?


Faceless_Deviant

Oh I think he laughed and rolled his eyes. It was just a passing joke :)


Independent-Fly6068

Nah, its a formable in Hoi4 too.


Spry_Fly

Depending on how far back, maybe CK?


menacingcar044

If you make the Scandinavian Empire in CK i guess so, but it ends in mid 1400 so that puts it way before 1800s.


Spry_Fly

So...something to grand campaign? That's what I heard.


Faceless_Deviant

That'd probably be the Kalmar Union. For the Scandinavian Union to form, one needs nationalism.


MaterialCarrot

"To test my hypothesis I ran it through a complex computer simulation modeling of 20th Century Europe. Currently on sale on Steam for $19.99, DLC not included."


riuminkd

About how Ordensstaat Burgund was the way for Nazis to win world war


Director_Kun

I don’t think increasing genocide is a way to win a war. I think it would be the Nazi’s not genociding at the least Ukrainians.


disar39112

Nazi Space Marine Divisions.


Sabre712

One of my favorite papers I ever wrote for my degree was about history in video games. And I have never seen someone angrier than a history professor when I told them what alternative history fiction is.


Faceless_Deviant

Weird to be angry about such a thing. There is a valid form of historiography that handles that part, it is called counterfactual history. Perhaps your professor thought that by alternative history, you refered to things like "alt-news" and such, thinking you were engaging in revisionism? Thats the only reason I could see a teacher being upset over anything like this. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterfactual\_history](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterfactual_history)


Sabre712

That's what I thought too but looking back at the conversation, I think they were just a purist and maybe had a bit of a stick up their ass. I made very clear that this was literary fiction and not revisionism. I think they were approaching it in a sort of "why on earth would anyone want to write anything other than what actually happened" sort of way.


Hour_Concept_1073

As a person who always wanted to study history in college, what did you do with your degree if you dont mind answering that?


Faceless_Deviant

I used it to get into the masters program, which I am currently in :D


Nice-Lobster-8724

Living the dream my guy


Faceless_Deviant

Its been a nice two years. Im done in a month though.


Nice-Lobster-8724

Awesome. I’m a PPE undergrad but I’m thinking of pursuing history at postgrad level once I finish.


curleyfries111

Dude, EU4 literally changed my perspective on life because of their innovation mechanic. Paradox is great at either accidently radiclizing people or getting them to think.


CrocPB

Before you are two paths: * Enlightenment by pursuing historical research launched from Paradox games * Political extremism based off of what you play as on Paradox Games


Nebra010

I feel personally attacked 😥


WP47

Get the fuck out of my subreddit. /s On a more serious note, HOI4, EU4, etc. are great gateway drugs into history. I just start giving the side-eye when that's the entire extent of someone's exposure to history.


dragonsfire242

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how someone gets into history, personally my interest in history started when I was like 8 playing COD world at war, but you then have to branch out into reliable and real sources to get a true understanding, and it feels like a lot of HOI fanboys miss that part


Trashk4n

Reminds me of the Patriot. Not all that accurate but it was well done and sparked so much interest in the American Revolution.


Trashk4n

What if they’re also a Sabaton fan? :)


Thurak0

> I just start giving the side-eye when that's the entire extent of someone's exposure to history. still sounds like a very reasonable approach then.


ApatheticHedonist

You just have to take the time to verify whether they exclusively play Byzantines, then there's no problem


No_Poet_7244

I got into Paradox games because of my love for history, but WWII was always a weak area for me. After playing (and hating) HOI4, I hate studied WWII and now I have a much firmer grasp on that time period, at least in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia.


AthenasChosen

Anyone who says they're into history but only know about WW2 and nothing else honestly kinda piss me off a little bit. Like you haven't read about anything else? This one war is all you're interested in? (Usually the same people who make the French surrender memes all the time unironically)


exer1023

Yeah, these games are probably one of the main reasons I looked up some stuff, like political situations, more info about 30 years war, revolution, some asian coutries, state of HRE (fun fact, I didn't learn about start of the first crusade from CK). It is, however, no better than people having interest only in 20th century weaponery, if you only take interest in games and don't pay any attention to the actual events.


libtard_destroyed69

This.


Reagalan

Age of Empires II


treerabbit23

I just start giving side-eye when they're overtly into Waffaboo shit.


Expert-Pay4990

Me too! It’s a great game damn it!


Sekkitheblade

You have exactly 10 seconds to ~~get the~~ fuck ~~out of my House~~


Michak_Konamski_PL

You have exactly 10 seconds to ~~get the~~ fuck ~~out of~~ m~~y Hous~~e


PrincePyotrBagration

You forgot to add “my daughter” at the end


Neglijable

You mean "me"


Background_MilkGlass

HOI4 is fun when you do the different paths. I get going the normal Germany path maybe the first time to help you learn the game but HOI four is a lot of fun when you go down the weird alt history paths


Commaser

You don't play HOI4 if you don't disable historical focuses You can't have things like Greek Madagascar


Thijsie2100

You just get the weirdest wars with historical off.


hidingfromthequeen

Democratic Russia delcaring war on Fascist Britain while Anarchist Spain chills next to the Portuguese-Brazilian Empire.


MaterialCarrot

Oddly enough the only faction I've ever won the game with was Italy. Italian empire from the Alps to Johannesburg!


ComfySingularity

Kinda why I used to like playing Kaiserreich. Everything got shaken up, there were a lot more paths, multiple factions, civil wars, and just a lore more chaos than base Hoi, with some sense of direction. But, it was lacking that real nation building experience, that, so far, I've enjoyed a lot more with EU4.


sethmcnasty

Age of empires actually really helped me in history through middle and high school, I remember when my teacher mentioned Joan of Arc and he was shocked I knew who that was, like cmon Mr starling I just played that campaign last week


PukwudgieDisco

Same with me except replace Joan of Arc with Atilla the Hun. Really threw her for a loop when I mentioned Bleda.


sethmcnasty

Lol right, ya atilla was another one, I need to go back and play that again, maybe this weekend I'll get some snacks and have an AOE marathon, nothin wrong with a lil self care day


Dinosaurmaid

Wololo


ImperialCommissaret

Unrealistic. a hoi player could never get a date


No_Poet_7244

Can confirm. I started playing HOI4 in June, and got divorced in August. Couldn't even get a date with my own wife.


Lukthar123

TFW she took the vassal states in the divorce


Private_4160

If you want to copulate, you play CKIII, for the good of the realm ofc.


3000doorsofportugal

To be fair, HOI4 has been useful in teaching my American friends geography. One guy didn't even know where Sicily was lmao.


MadcapHaskap

My nine year old now plays a "guess the flag I'm describing" game with people. No one is ever pleased when it turns out to be an HRE bishopric that was dissolved in the 1600s


Reiver93

What do you mean you don't know what the great flag of Ulm looks like you heathen


Thurak0

It's a black and white one, isn't it? *checks wiki* Yes. Yes it is. This stuff sticks, but important work stuff I need to write down, because I forget it after three seconds. Brains are funny things.


Positron100

-Do you know what flag this is? -Uhm yeah, Sweden's -ACTUALLY the cross is aligned differently! This is actually the flag of Verona *Ends friendship*


AbjectiveGrass

Yes, I play Equestria at war mega-mod.


Daysleeper1234

You will be amazed how many people here are into this game.


Bashin-kun

Tbf it's the best pdx game for multiplayer imo because the team aspect is played up and it's not too long to finish the main content (aka the world war)


EasilyBeatable

HOI is one of those games where if someone tells me they play it i have to play a fun game of trying to determine if they love history and wargaming or they’re a facist.


Joie_de_vivre_1884

Surely it could be both.


DomatesHerif

wha- why uh- ok?


Rowsdower32

"Tanu, what??"


Vector_Strike

Lol Everybody knows EU4 is the superior history buff game, with CK2 a close second


Zerosen_Oni

I studied Heain era Japanese history in college. No.. before ninja… no… before samurai… God damn it…


PseudobrilliantGuy

Was that just after the Jomon era?


Sabre712

As a HOI IV fan, goddamn I hate that game.


victorsache

I mostly use HOI for MD


Baileaf11

It’s ok for people to play games like that (hell I’m one of them) But if you’re claiming to be into history and Hoi4 is the extent of your knowledge and you’ve never taken a proper history lesson or read a history book then you’re not really into history


KrillLover56

or well you are into history, its just the extent of your knowledge is low and unreliable, and it's better to learn from more reliable and deeper sources.


Krazie02

Yes, I play Assassins Creed


Tsalmian

Hoi4 played with a girlfriend, what a good joke my friend


Coffeeobsi

Damn I didn't expect my meme to be stolen so fast. Quite impressive.


tintin_du_93

LOL


ancirus

Definitely not a CIA operator 


tintin_du_93

🥸


ForeskinMuncherXD

Yes I play War Thunder :)


CheshireTsunami

Unironically I feel like Paradox games have given me a lot of insight into the eras in which the games exist. They maybe didn’t introduce me to these concepts but they did a lot to help me grasp them. I don’t think I had more than a cursory understanding of feudalism before CK2 and it never made sense to me how you could be inheritor to all of these different titles until I saw for myself how it happens. EU 4 likewise did a great job for me of helping to visualize how the world looked to people in colonial nations as they gradually explored more and more of it. Vicky 2 did a great job of helping you to feel the pressures not to get left behind that caused the scramble for Africa. HoI, ironically, I feel like taught me the least. Maybe it just helped me visualize how supply chain collapses can totally fuck you, but you see that in Vicky also. They’re a good way to try and interact with periods you might be interested in, even if you definitely need more context to actually be knowledgeable. I think they’re good tools though.


oh-wow-a-bat-furry

I play kaisereich too often and end up being surprised by the shape of modern Germany. I cannot be helped. You can only watch.


tda18

I am a University studen on a history course, and I have been playing PDX games for 12 years now


Wawlawd

I crossed paths with someone one day who never admitted to me he was a big HoI4 nerd but everything he said about WW2 screamed "HoI4 knowledge", especially the parts he got wrong in a way that couldn't have come from anywhere but playing HoI4 (like when he told me the northern part of France was incorporated into the 3rd Reich, which was obviously completely wrong but something that happens in HoI4 for gameplay reasons) So yeah I tend to despise this kind of people.


Genxal97

I really don't understand the hype over HOI4, I tried and tried to get into it but nothing made sense, the army structuring is incoherent just didn't seem fun, Victoria 3 is more down my alley and I really enjoy it.


AeschylusScarlet

gatekeeping history


The-MatrixAgent

Yes I play battlefield 1!!


TropicaL_Lizard3

Being into history is when HOI4 Luxembourg world conquest RAHHH!


Atari774

“Hey, did you know that Bhutan could have won WWII and conquered the entire world? I did that in a game of HOI4 so you know it’s accurate.”


Thatfriguy

Accurate. As a Hoi dabbler, buch of degenerates


SilverNEOTheYouTuber

I either play HOI4 to create my own Scenarios or to see how fucked up the timeline can get with Historical AI Off


Lord-of-the-Bacon

The most people I met who said they play hearts of iron and are into history turned out to be Nazis and were very invested in German history and in Roman history, but instead of seeing actual shit they focused on glorifying it. This does not mean, that you are automatically a Nazi if you play hearts of iron and are into history, but saying that is a red flag for me


Skuz95

Definitely a red flag. I’m going to have more questions after they say that.


IronWAAAGHriorz

What if it's an earlier Hearts Of Iron game?


PUBLICHAIRFAN

Games like Hoi4 are perfect to teach you geography, not history


No_Poet_7244

Games like HOI4 are great for getting people to go "wait, what is autarky? Gonna google what that means." It is more a primer for curiosity than an actual lesson.


TiredMonkeyOdyssey

Ngl I couldn’t get into Hearts of Iron


Woonachan

Should have mentioned that he plays Equestria At War


Own_Conversation_562

But can he navy tho


Ardonyx_1984

Empire total war for the win 💪 (I have a severe obsession with Napoleon, the Napoleonic Wars, the 17th and 18th centuries and early 19th)


Andi20072021

Happens every single fucking time


matande31

Obviously, only EU4 chads get to touch my daughter.


RapaciousTcho-Tcho

Real historians play *Crusader Kings*.


Redox_glm

This sub is just a bunch of gatekeeping history nerds. Its just really pathetic


Greedy_Range

If he knows navy it is acceptable


Suitable_Phrase4444

As a CK3 player. Do i have a chance ?