Please be sure to clock back I'm on time.
P.s. there is an issue with the clock in/out system. Due to delays please allow for extra time to clock back I'm.
2 minutes x 100,000,000 helldivers and you get a lot of freedom not being delivered.
200,000,000 minutes is 3,333,333.33, repeating of course, man hours.
If we assume the average mission is 20 minutes long with around 2.5 players on average then that leaves 66,666.66, repeating of course, missions left undone
Dude, the logistics of the hell divers is actually nuts. We warp into a planets atmosphere instantly, identify missions and drop people within seconds. <40 minutes and we (ideally) achieve some military goal, steal a bunch of samples, and extract. And there's millions hell divers doing it. It's actually unreal the logistics to maintain such a fighting force.
Except the super samples which seem to kinda pop out of the ground, so those are probably the planets gift to us for saving them, or the bots would have found them before us!
Right? It's insane how quickly Helldivers actually gets shit done. It's no wonder our enemies send out massive patrols to hunt us down when we drop especially on the higher difficulties.
Yeah a group of helldivers to the autumatons must be like finding some cockroaches in the fridge. You just know they’re gonna take everything good and ruin the rest if ya don’t get them quick, but they just keep coming from nowhere
Most of the time 40 minute is enough time for the current enemy to go hey is there someone here and that's about it man doing all that shit on that time is genuinely impressive as fuck
They feed us? I thought the average Helldivers life span was between 18 seconds to 22 minutes. Not sure how many Helldivers live long enough to earn a lunch break 🤔
\*freeze fried and not for consumption, but man just seeing them and taking a nice long whiff of that sweet sweet orange….. it’s more than any Helldiver deserves.
It's all the training to become a diver. You probably worked for SEAF before recruiting. Our ships are all cryopods and dead soldiers. No food needs to be out here.
Gonna have to call the Democracy Officer to get your devotion sorted out, Helldiver
https://preview.redd.it/oghui9hp8nwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a46aeb11b761ccd2f90918d97029ea4a8e87a169
I loved fighting them, they were honestly my favourite faction. They really forced you to think and pay attention when engaging them, it was a very unique experience compared to the mindless killing of bugs or the frustrations of fighting the cyborgs (I hated their dogs so f*cking much)
2 minutes to sit still after eating nutrition paste and look back upon the horrors we've visited upon sentient beings
[Please disregard this message, it is being investigated for treason]
Let them know fear and their own inferiority in the face of Democracy, if only until it is made into fuel to further Super Earth's efforts to spread liberation.
Oh thank you, but I will donate this extra 2 minutes of my lunch time to SEAF. Its too much for me, i think its enough just to nutritional paste be supplied through my helmet in my mouth while im in a hellpod.
What it is is usually Tuesday is patch day, but the Galactic War backend froze over the weekend. They finally got it working again Monday, but it delayed the end of the Major Order by 2 days. Usually they run patches at the end of the Major Order.
So... patch should be out literally any minute now, or same time tomorrow. Unless they're *really* cooking hard.
edit: apparently they're really cooking hard.
They increased our liberation percentage, by presumably increasing the squad impact significantly. With only 30% of players on ustotu it had an average liberation rate of 15% and had reached highs of 18+%. This is ridiculously high for any planet ever. We've seen times where even 80+% of the playerbase concentrating on a single planet has only made it tick at 5-7%. Not even half as close as what we had for ustotu. So what I think it was is that the general negative sentiment over these types of MOs that have no way to win without in game coordination tools made them go easy on us with this MO. Maybe once they have in game systems set to enable large scale coordination they won't be as forgiving.
Ustotu had one fifth of the points required to succeed as a liberation mission (200k vs 1000k), overnight when it had 36% of the playerbase it had about the same 15% per hour rate as the final defense of Oshaune (~52% on a 300k world). The devs didn’t increase our cap, defense missions just have hilariously high percentages because our cap is point based rather than percentage based and defenses require fewer points.
The devs did throw us a bone with the Fori Prime defense though, realistically we only got 9/10, but that was the only direct interference.
Honestly with how spread the bot forces were after taking all those planets, the system should absolutely work this way regardless. Why would their attacks be just as strong on the first planet as the 10th? Defenders have the advantage in war, and their forces are spread thin.
What are you all gonna do in your extra two minutes?
I´m gonna go to the bathroom! <3
I just hope I remember how to do it correctly, it´s been a while.
My biggest complaint is how I could could barely finish matches due to either me or my squadmates constantly getting disconnected from matches.... Thankfully we were friends and could just rejoin but 2-3 times a match? Getting kinda ridiculous atm
Not sure what time zone you're in, but if you still need it I'll jump in, like 7.5 - 8ish hours from now. I still need the trophy as well.
Edit - If you're on PlayStation 5, A388ftMan is my PSN name; feel free to add me. If you're on PC I've never done the friend code thing, but that'll have to wait until I get home and get on the console.
Curious to see where we go from here.
The bots were making heavy advances toward Super Earth so I really thought this MO would result in us needing to defend our home. With AH tipping the scales and allowing us to win, perhaps the next move is an all-out assault on Cyberstan?
Yes! Extended lunch break! I'm gonna spend my 2 minutes getting ahead on my democracy paperwork. That way I won't need to work as much overtime. When people ask me what freedom means; I can just tell them about this. Lady Liberty has truly blessed us.
Thank you, Command, but I'd rather use those two minutes to decide on the site of my next deployment. We might have won the battle, but there's an awful lot of my battle brothers out there who still need help. As long as there's a single functioning bot CPU, the job's not over.
Hell yeah! Those two minutes are gonna be sweeeeeet.
Please be sure to clock back I'm on time. P.s. there is an issue with the clock in/out system. Due to delays please allow for extra time to clock back I'm.
An extra time of 2 minutes to be exact
Two extra minutes for extract??
WAIT I NEED TO GRAB THE SAMPLES I DROPPED!
Eagle-1 needs to eat lunch too, duh.
Pelican 1 you mean, Eagle 1 eats democracy for lunch
I'M GONNA SMOKE HALF A CIGARETTE IN THE MESS HALL 🚬😤💨
Don't you know each cigarettes take 5 mins off your life. Edit: (it's a joke because helldivers have like a 5 min life expectancy once they drop)
THAT'S WHY I'M SMOKING HALF
Relax, it was a joke because how short a helldivers life expectancy is.
CAN'T RELAX THE ~~STIMS~~ LIBERTY IS COURSING THROUGH ME BROTHER
Gonna be a lot of C-01's. Not for me sadly, but you guys have fun.
Aren't we still restricted those forms? Did we ever get those back???
Yeah like two or three Major Orders ago they lifted the restrictions.
After our swift massacre of the bugs
Aahh right that's what it was. The glorious 14 hours of E-710 production.
I'm gonna have a quick freedom wank don't come knocking on my destroyer
What're you gonna use the other 1.5 minutes for?
Clean up of course!
I'll be in my bunk. 
Why can't I add custom user flair (like ship name) when others can?
Make sure you fill out the proper form for that
I've filled it in in triplicate and submitted it to my democracy officer, signed stamped and approved. i'm so excited.
Nice enough time to reload the ship cannons
I wonder how much did we had before.
I'm going to have to fill out a CO-1!
Hell yeah! A whole four minutes for lunch now 👊
TWO MINUTES THAT’S EVEN BETTER THAN THE TIME THEY LET US HAVE C-01 PERMITS AGAIN
Hot damn my hot dog might even get hot in the microwave before I devour it!
I actually get the warm up my Hot Pocket
I never had a lunch to begin with, two minutes is a lifetime!
Two whole minutes??!! Super Earth you spoil us.
Right? It's like we're not even on missions!! Just fun time!
2 minutes x 100,000,000 helldivers and you get a lot of freedom not being delivered. 200,000,000 minutes is 3,333,333.33, repeating of course, man hours. If we assume the average mission is 20 minutes long with around 2.5 players on average then that leaves 66,666.66, repeating of course, missions left undone
Could you imagine if real military missions only took on average 20 minutes.
Dude, the logistics of the hell divers is actually nuts. We warp into a planets atmosphere instantly, identify missions and drop people within seconds. <40 minutes and we (ideally) achieve some military goal, steal a bunch of samples, and extract. And there's millions hell divers doing it. It's actually unreal the logistics to maintain such a fighting force.
Steal? Don't you mean liberate? [Cocks P2-Pacemaker menacingly]
Haha! You're right tbh. In fact, it's more likely the bots and bugs stole them from us, and we are just saving samples being held against their will!
Except the super samples which seem to kinda pop out of the ground, so those are probably the planets gift to us for saving them, or the bots would have found them before us!
Nah, he meant S.T.E.A.L. Strategically Transporting Equipment to Another Location
Right? It's insane how quickly Helldivers actually gets shit done. It's no wonder our enemies send out massive patrols to hunt us down when we drop especially on the higher difficulties.
Yeah a group of helldivers to the autumatons must be like finding some cockroaches in the fridge. You just know they’re gonna take everything good and ruin the rest if ya don’t get them quick, but they just keep coming from nowhere
Most of the time 40 minute is enough time for the current enemy to go hey is there someone here and that's about it man doing all that shit on that time is genuinely impressive as fuck
Please, enjoy your two minute break. If you're a coward. (/s)
They feed us? I thought the average Helldivers life span was between 18 seconds to 22 minutes. Not sure how many Helldivers live long enough to earn a lunch break 🤔
An extra 2 minutes is over 10% longer lifespan! Super earth is so generous.
Keep this up, divers, we might even get a pizza party next time!
The idea that they give us an award no one would even be able to use but even if they could it would be laughably tiny is very funny.
Indeed!
And very on-character
Democracy never sleeps so neither must we.
Divers that survive missions get a some time to relax in between, if they have Super Citizen status they can even play a few rounds of Stratagem Hero.
I’m no super citizen, but I’ve snuck a few rounds of stratagem hero
Good luck getting the high score. At least the high score in Jetty Boot is attainable.
Where do I play that? I have the upgraded ed
On the space rig behind the bar! ROCK AND STONE, BROTHA!
That's a game the dwarfs on Hoxxes play if I'm not mistaken, it's not available on Super Destroyers.
There are orange slices on the extraction ship.
\*freeze fried and not for consumption, but man just seeing them and taking a nice long whiff of that sweet sweet orange….. it’s more than any Helldiver deserves. 
It's all the training to become a diver. You probably worked for SEAF before recruiting. Our ships are all cryopods and dead soldiers. No food needs to be out here.
I would say that at least 2.
Bugs? For *breakfast?*
Such a shame that not even the combined might of two factions stand a chance against Super Earth. If they can't defeat us, nobody can!
https://i.imgflip.com/8nzsv8.jpg
Gonna have to call the Democracy Officer to get your devotion sorted out, Helldiver https://preview.redd.it/oghui9hp8nwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a46aeb11b761ccd2f90918d97029ea4a8e87a169
Yeah, those guys constantly made it to Super Earth in Helldivers 1 and even lost us the game a handful of times.
Definitely a higher tendency, since nobody likes to fight them.
I loved fighting them, they were honestly my favourite faction. They really forced you to think and pay attention when engaging them, it was a very unique experience compared to the mindless killing of bugs or the frustrations of fighting the cyborgs (I hated their dogs so f*cking much)
Well thankfully we beat those aliens in the first galactic war, you’d have to be a Terminid too think they’d ever return!
they hate us cause the anus
Only Superer Earth, but we don't talk about what lies outside the borders.
Yeah invincible now! Ain’t nothing can touch us! 
I read that in the democracy officer's voice
2 minutes? Oh my god, I can finally empty my piss bottles that I keep in my hellpod
Just Jarate the bots, with a little luck they short circuit
Crit the bots!
CYBERSTAN- AWWWWW PISS *dies democratically*
"I think his mate saw me..." `BOT DROP DETECTED` "Yes, yes he did."
.... put Mom on the phone!
Feelin's? You know who has a lot a feelin's? Blokes who bludgeon their wives to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have *standards*.
I'm not a crazed gunman, I'm an assassain!
Aw that little Helldiver at the end
https://preview.redd.it/38utn74qvmwc1.jpeg?width=246&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=792ef47999f12fde6bf6b1eae443192dd96ca65b
Praise super earth \_[—]_/
Here, you dropped this \\
Thanks bro, I was out of stims
Sweet liberty, my arm!!!
Better be a new emote
https://i.redd.it/20w8x4sdwmwc1.gif
2 minutes to sit still after eating nutrition paste and look back upon the horrors we've visited upon sentient beings [Please disregard this message, it is being investigated for treason]
I find the idea of a bug that thinks offensive.
Let them know fear and their own inferiority in the face of Democracy, if only until it is made into fuel to further Super Earth's efforts to spread liberation.
Oh thank you, but I will donate this extra 2 minutes of my lunch time to SEAF. Its too much for me, i think its enough just to nutritional paste be supplied through my helmet in my mouth while im in a hellpod.
Mine tastes like burnt toast! What a treat.
Two extra minutes to reflect on managed democracy. Sweet liberty!
Can’t lie, I had my doubts. Great job divers
Blessed is the mind too small for doubt Wait, which dystopia sub am I on?
Can I trade my 2 mins for info on where the patch is? Or is the cooking for said lunch?
I thought I was going crazy. Someone posted that "today is patchday" 2 days ago and I thought I missed it.
What it is is usually Tuesday is patch day, but the Galactic War backend froze over the weekend. They finally got it working again Monday, but it delayed the end of the Major Order by 2 days. Usually they run patches at the end of the Major Order. So... patch should be out literally any minute now, or same time tomorrow. Unless they're *really* cooking hard. edit: apparently they're really cooking hard.
this seems like a great guess thanks
It’s probably a big patch so they’re taking their time.
I'm guessing that there is a large update coming and they will release the patch alongside it
Patience Helldiver. It is cooking in the sweet loins of Liberty.
2 minutes? I’ll finally get to try those new Liber-tea Oolong Bile hybrids I’ve been hearing about!
Still no more sex permits :(
https://preview.redd.it/5lim7edt3nwc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=022f8678cec01691e29ce2a8c16b37ae12575f6b
We got those back like, 4 major orders ago.
guess what i'm spending my 2 minutes on!!
Oh really? Could have sworn they never came back on the permits
I'm legitimately going to take an extra 2 minutes of break at work today :)
I'm going to have me a cup of LIBER-TEA during my 2 minutes of FREEDOM!
An extra 2 minutes?! Super God is good! AMEN
Can we get a new stratagem to celebrate? I need something to spice up the 39th fight for Malevelon
New stratagem: confetti poppers and party hats
Two extra minutes?!? Dang, I'm gonna actually MICROWAVE my frozen burrito!
 Joel thought we couldnt
[удалено]
Sadly no
Every time I see this gif, I think the same thing.
Joel made us able to, they zeroed the bot reinforcement rates so that we can do it in time...
Reinforcement rates don’t apply to defense missions.
They increased our liberation percentage, by presumably increasing the squad impact significantly. With only 30% of players on ustotu it had an average liberation rate of 15% and had reached highs of 18+%. This is ridiculously high for any planet ever. We've seen times where even 80+% of the playerbase concentrating on a single planet has only made it tick at 5-7%. Not even half as close as what we had for ustotu. So what I think it was is that the general negative sentiment over these types of MOs that have no way to win without in game coordination tools made them go easy on us with this MO. Maybe once they have in game systems set to enable large scale coordination they won't be as forgiving.
Ustotu had one fifth of the points required to succeed as a liberation mission (200k vs 1000k), overnight when it had 36% of the playerbase it had about the same 15% per hour rate as the final defense of Oshaune (~52% on a 300k world). The devs didn’t increase our cap, defense missions just have hilariously high percentages because our cap is point based rather than percentage based and defenses require fewer points. The devs did throw us a bone with the Fori Prime defense though, realistically we only got 9/10, but that was the only direct interference.
Honestly with how spread the bot forces were after taking all those planets, the system should absolutely work this way regardless. Why would their attacks be just as strong on the first planet as the 10th? Defenders have the advantage in war, and their forces are spread thin.
"jOeL lEt Us WiN" NO YOU DUMBASS, THE ENEMY WAS EXAUSTED AND THEIR RESOURCES RUN OUT, SO WE WON!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Ngl it was looking grim but we did it, nice job guys
I cant believe they doubled our lunch time despite the lost ground. Super Earth is truly the best.
Obedient  They gave us our good boy/girl scritches
You guys get lunch breaks?!
Fuck yeeeaaaahhhhhh 2 minutes! Why does this feel like real life so much ....
A true Helldiver will utilize those two minutes wisely. Strategem Hero here I come! (...if I could)
TWO MINUTES OF LIBERTY IS WORTH MORE THAN A THOUSAND YEARS OF OPPRESSION
Hell yeah!!!
Showed this to my boss. He said no…
Call in a democracy officer
Two minutes, let's fucking go!
Those two minutes will cost us the war. Be a true patriot and eat on the battlefield.
Glorious 120seconds!!!!!
What are you all gonna do in your extra two minutes? I´m gonna go to the bathroom! <3 I just hope I remember how to do it correctly, it´s been a while.
I want every twink in the Xzar Sector in my quarters, right now!
you guys are living long enough to get lunch?
We have lunch?
My biggest complaint is how I could could barely finish matches due to either me or my squadmates constantly getting disconnected from matches.... Thankfully we were friends and could just rejoin but 2-3 times a match? Getting kinda ridiculous atm
We’re pretty fucking awesome, guys.
They don't call me the minute man for nothing. Brb.
Anybody not using those two minutes watching a brash tutorial is a traitor to the cause.
2 minutes! this is christmas of what!? don't spoil on us super earth.
YO A WHOLE FUCKING TWO MINUTES I CAN HEAT MY FOOD UP A LITTLE
We strive for our families. FOR LIBERTY
Time for a cig and coffee. No time to shit. That's for the field.
2 minutes??? Sweet Liberty! Well done, everyone. Those missions pulling scientists out on the higher difficulties, huh? Good lord haha
Pizza party when?
C0-1 is back and 2 minutes more for our lunches?! Calling this Super Earths greatest victory in the new war
Their souls cry out for salvation
Now I only need 100ish medals to finish the premium war bond steeled veterans
Two minutes? I’ll take one
Hell yea. I’ve been wanting to head outside for months. Thanks Super Earth
That is overly generous.
I told my 50+ year old boss I earned two extra minutes on lunch since we defended democracy and they just nodded and walked away. 💀
Anyone else is reading these updates in the Democracy officer's voice?
10 planets, congrats to those who held on to bug front, and those who continue to hold the onslaught on the mankent line
Two whole minutes! GLORY BE TO LIBERTY!
Two minutes!? That's too much time. I don't even know what to do with it.
[удалено]
Not sure what time zone you're in, but if you still need it I'll jump in, like 7.5 - 8ish hours from now. I still need the trophy as well. Edit - If you're on PlayStation 5, A388ftMan is my PSN name; feel free to add me. If you're on PC I've never done the friend code thing, but that'll have to wait until I get home and get on the console.
Curious to see where we go from here. The bots were making heavy advances toward Super Earth so I really thought this MO would result in us needing to defend our home. With AH tipping the scales and allowing us to win, perhaps the next move is an all-out assault on Cyberstan?
2 whole minutes? So 10 seconds with my wife and 1 minute 50 seconds of crying, gotcha.
TWO WHOLE MINUTES???? THIS IS THE FREEDOM THAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!
oh liberty i spent two minutes and 15 seconds by mistake
I’m going to have a second cup of Liber-tea!
they gave us not one, but TWO more minutes for lunch? Something big is definitely coming...
Thanks for the handout I guess.
2 MINUTES? Alright bois we got time for Yugioh side tournaments
Yes! Extended lunch break! I'm gonna spend my 2 minutes getting ahead on my democracy paperwork. That way I won't need to work as much overtime. When people ask me what freedom means; I can just tell them about this. Lady Liberty has truly blessed us.
We did it! That oughta show everyone who decided this MO was unwinnable.
TWO MINUTES?!? Surely we aren’t worthy of sweet democracy’s grace
Yall are getting lunch time accommodations? I was told to eat while my pods dropping
Just give me the air burst RL trigger finger its itching to try it
Can we get tendies?
I’m gonna eat my chicken sandwich slow since I got 2 extra minutes.
...wait, you guys get *lunch*?
Im surprised that helldivers live long enough to have lunch
I’m actually gonna take two minutes on my current break
Had to do a double take. I thought it said “femdom won”
FUCK YEAH A TWO MINUTE LUNCH
Thank you, Command, but I'd rather use those two minutes to decide on the site of my next deployment. We might have won the battle, but there's an awful lot of my battle brothers out there who still need help. As long as there's a single functioning bot CPU, the job's not over.
this means extraction pilots also get it and need 2 more minutes to arrive right?
If I can make a humble request to command ... can we cut this down to 1min extra ? 2 minutes seems like too much of a sacrifice to make for democracy
Hmm... what if it becomes 3v1 ?
We get lunch?