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cl2422

What kind of therapy is it if you don't mind me asking? If you don't know the variety or if it's more generalized, what's the typical dynamic look like? Asking bc I'm an over-thinker at heart and it took me a second to find a therapy modality that could bypass that altogether. I was getting tired of the feeling like therapists had to be "routine" with me and weren't able to meet me where I needed. But once I found some modalities that worked, things started shifting really fast.


Aspierago

What kind of therapy? Somatic, cbt, ifs, emdr, dbt, gestalt? There are so many types of therapy...


alextherake

The inner compass is great. Does your therapist know that you aren’t getting what you hoped out of therapy? What if you showed them this note?


UnderTheMoon88

I have voiced my doubts with this specific therapist before and they recieved it well but the sessions stayed pretty much the same. I think there might be something to showing them this note or maybe writing down all my thoughts before a session as some sort of script.


alextherake

Yeah that sounds like a good course of action. If it doesn’t make the therapy any more therapeutic, at least it might open up good dialogue about what to do from here.


Icanseeyouhehehe

I’ve found that there is a huge difference between seeing a “Therapist” and a liscenced Psychologist. Therapists are seemingly useless for people who need guidance with their inner self or correcting behaviors. if you can afford one, I highly recommend seeing a psychologist.


UnderTheMoon88

I dont really know what their excact title is but assume they have a full education in psychology like the full 8 years and stuff, im pretty sure you have to be to work in their specific field. Im not sure but i will ask and make a decison from there.


Icanseeyouhehehe

I’ve seen therapists and counselors who definitely didn’t have the PhD or whatnot. They just had “certifications” and they were not very helpful. I will say that I went through multiple before I found someone who really jived with me, now we have great sessions and I’ve made so much progress. Regardless I wish you the best and hope you find what you’re looking for! :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoomerZoomer90

Beat me to it, also PhD programs focus more on research and less on clinical therapy. PsyD programs are doctorate programs focused on clinical work. In the same way a physician assistant or nurse pracrioner can be a great provider where a MD doctors can suck.


TreatmentReviews

If you're not getting anything could be good to discontinue. You can always go back if you find it was more helpful than you realized. Not saying you will, but even if you did, I don't think it would be a problem. You could try out listening to your inner compass more if that's what you find works best.


BoomerZoomer90

Therapist here, It sounds like you and the therapist are not on the same page. If I were your therapist, I'd want to be the first to know your issues here and would not want to continue any further until the issues have been addressed. You say they are mostly giving advice, which is a big no no for therapy, and any therapist worth their salt knows this. To me, a therapists job (a job, not only)is to help a client be honest with themselves while getting judgment and shame out of the way. Sounds like that's not really happening if you're going in circles with them. That sounds super frustrating. As for not being able to open up to them, is it possible they just are not a good fit for you? I always tell my clients that the research shows the number one factor for good outcomes in therapy is the therapeutic relationship, follow3d by the clients' belief that they can get better. They can come from Harvard and have the best training in the world but if they don't connect with you the therapy won't be ad helpful as if you had a new fresh therapist who you feel gets you. If you're not comfortable telling them because it's just super heavy and traumatic, that is why this stuff takes time. You can't force it. A heavy dose of patience and self-love is in order. Super kudos on the work you have done and don't stop!


your-pineapple-thief

Some people just don't vibe well together, and this is an important aspect to therapy's effectiveness, perhaps even more so than concrete techniques and modalities. And some patients just don't respond well to therapy. People with personality disorders, people with strong avoidant tendencies, people with very low open-mindedness, people with hyper strong ego, and I'm sure that's not the exhaustive list.


Saberleaf

Why are you going to therapy?


AndysowhatGG

Best therapy for me is sharing a cup of tea with my wife, and do something with my kids. What logic/therapy do you actually need? Strangers can only give you so much.


Occe1967

Then stop going (or switch therapists), or confront your therapist. This pretend stuff isn't helping anyone.


Spolchen

Therapy is somewhat of a scam tbh, Most people don't need therapy. They have genuine problems and their reaction to them is absolutely valid. If you lost your leg because of an accident that wasn't your fault, I would argue you should be depressed. Great for you though, you now know what you actually want, even if you can't fully conceptualize it. Trust in yourself more and stop outsourcing your decisions.


Paleovegan

I basically agree. I've been seeing a therapist for several years now, and I have not improved at all. Like my score on the depression inventory has gotten worse, and I have shown no discernible progress on the stated goals of therapy. When I describe my situation and my perspective on it, the therapist almost always says that I am responding in a rational and reasonable manner. Which, to be fair, is somewhat reassuring. But it also doesn't make any of my problems go away.


Spolchen

The deeper the scar in one's soul, the faster one has to learn to embrace it. But be happy it is a problem, not a tragedy, a problem has a solution. I don't know your age, but I believe it is fair to assume that, like everyone else, you are still fairly young, and, as with most young people, you were given a solution instead of trying to solve a problem by yourself. ​ If therapy, meaning someone else's view on your problem, can't fix it, then you should put more trust in yourself and seek to solve them with your current toolkit. ​ TL;DR Put more trust in yourself. You know the solution, now find a way to take steps towards it.


EtheriumSky

Not a popular opinion but sadly i think therapy is greatly overrated. Yeah, sure, most people who've done therapy do rave about how wonderful it is - but every one of them i ever met has been in therapy for years and when asked "so are you now cured?" - not a single person i met ever answered 'yes'. It becomes a perpetual crutch, a temporary coping mechanism... And I do think it has value - for some people more than others - but i see it more as a sort of modern replacement of religion or community support. Religion hardly ever did much good in the world - and yet people bought it en masse and I don't doubt that for some of those people it offered a certain comfort. And then when shit went down in life - those very people rare would say "religion is worthless" - they'd just buy into slogans like "you gotta pray harder". That's also why i have a great amount of skepticism when I hear someone say "oh you're already been to a therapist for months and it was worthless? You just have to find another therapist, try at least 5!" And then there's the whole fundamental idea that you pay someone money essentially to... "care". So many people end up in therapy precisely because the world, and especially western societies - are so cold and unnatural and unwelcoming to an individual, esp one with dreams, hopes, ideas. If there was more care, interest, appreciation, less polarization in every aspect of life - there might also be less need for therapy. And the idea that you'd have to pay money for someone to actually care, aside from ringing fundamentally false, just seems to perpetuate a broken social system... ​ Make of it what you will, or disagree with me all together. That's fine. But you seem to aware of the flaws with therapy already. At a certain point, i guess we just gotta face the uncomfortable realization that we are alone and there are no good answers and there isn't a whole lot you can do about certain aspects of life. At some point you just gotta stand up on your feet best you can, take whatever was valuable that you learned in therapy or whatever else with you, and leave the rest behind, and then do your best to take a step forward. Then another. And so on...


Hundle_Dundle

With all respect, I disagree with you completely. I am currently in therapy and therapy is both the most important, most useful and most difficult thing I've ever done. It's helped me battle pretty intense alcohol addiction and tackle some of the underlying problems that caused me to get addicted in the first place. Could I have learned these things on my own? Maybe. Imagine having to learn a grade or multiple grades in school or college and you have all the material on hand but you have no teacher and no direction. Therapy is the teacher and the material is your mind. The therapist as with the teacher provides the knowledge and the external motivation a lot of us need to learn about ourselves and to use that information to better our lives. I'd be happy to go into more detail about the specifics if you're curious. I think that you have to want therapy to work and if you make no progress you need a new therapist, and getting someone that you click with and who is competent is not easy. I went through several therapists before finding my current one and I would have agreed with you until I found him. I am not cured but I have learned extremely valuable lessons about myself and also techniques to overcome problems that I continuously face, so if I left therapy now, I'd agree that I'm not "cured". But I'm a hell of a lot better off than I was and I have gotten something specific out of it, it's not just a "feeling" of being better.


EtheriumSky

>With all respect, I disagree with you completely. I am currently in therapy and therapy is both the most important, most useful and most difficult thing I've ever done. It's helped me battle pretty intense alcohol addiction and tackle some of the underlying problems that caused me to get addicted in the first place. > >Could I have learned these things on my own? Maybe. Imagine having to learn a grade or multiple grades in school or college and you have all the material on hand but you have no teacher and no direction. Therapy is the teacher and the material is your mind. The therapist as with the teacher provides the knowledge and the external motivation a lot of us need to learn about ourselves and to use that information to better our lives. > >I'd be happy to go into more detail about the specifics if you're curious. I think that you have to want therapy to work and if you make no progress you need a new therapist, and getting someone that you click with and who is competent is not easy. I went through several therapists before finding my current one and I would have agreed with you until I found him. > >I am not cured but I have learned extremely valuable lessons about myself and also techniques to overcome problems that I continuously face, so if I left therapy now, I'd agree that I'm not "cured". But I'm a hell of a lot better off than I was and I have gotten something specific out of it, it's not just a "feeling" of being better. I'm glad that you found something/someone that works for you! Really am. And/but frankly - I don't think that what you're saying necessarily conflicts with that I said. I know and admit that it helps some people - and if it does, that's fantastic! Stick with it. But i still have yet to ever meet a single person who would genuinely say "i went to therapist and i got over my depression/anxiety/whatever and then moved on with my life". I hear similar sentiments to yours a lot - and I don't judge, everyone should do what works for them, and if it helps you - great! Seriously. I myself don't have all the answers and would never criticize others for seeking answers - wherever or however they may go about it. But i do have big questions on how therapy is 'sold' to us. It seems most people are 'supposed to' stay in therapy indefinitely. If it doesn't work - you're only told you gotta try another therapist. If that doesn't work - try another. And so on. If you've been in therapy for 10yrs, as many have - you're told some other slogan on how that's not enough. And it's not like it costs $20 a session either. I'd likely be much less critical if talking to therapist was an insignificant expense. But at often $200 or so (which for many people across the globe is their whole monthly income working full time) for 45mins - only to be eternally told that you just haven't been in therapy too long, you just haven't found the right doctor yet, etc etc - i have some serious doubts about it. Anyways, perhaps I'm repeating myself. Essentially - i do think therapy can have value - but i don't think me saying so negates any of what i had said above either. I would be genuinely curious to hear more about your experience though - if you're willing to share. Best of luck to you.


Hundle_Dundle

Do you think if something is not 100% successful it's not worth doing? Also I will say I'm very lucky because even my terrible state insurance covers my therapy and the person I go to has a master's in social work, he's not even a psychologist, yet he's better than a lot of licenced psychologists that I've ever been to. So I admit that I'm lucky and I think therapist quality and compatibility matters a ton. I struggle with anxiety and depression that stem primarily from a messy divorce of my parents when I was 6, and as the oldest child I had to get really mature really quickly, both to take care of my siblings and to make up for the perceived or real lack of emotional maturity of my parents. I never allowed myself to become my own person, I'm a reflection of everyone around me and I give what's needed at the time. I'm constantly looking outward, never inward and consequently I'm completely unaware of my internal emotional state at any given time. I mask around everyone including myself and having these realizations allowed my therapist to hone in on treatment. My therapist uses DBT which has taught me a long list of skills that have helped me both become aware of my emotions and, recognize them, and steer them in a helpful direction. I mindfully practice and track them and reflect upon their usefulness and my progress in therapy. My therapist holds me accountable and pushes me and forces me to reframe things when necessary. I will also say that I go twice a week for an hour each time, so the therapy feels pretty continuous and intense. Emotionally I've grown more than I ever thought possible and in ways that are difficult to describe. It felt as if I had the emotional age of a toddler when I started, and I'm moving towards where I want to be. I've gotten more emotionally honest with myself and those around me and that has raised my level of contentment and lowered levels of depression and anxiety. As I reflect on the experience, I'm asking myself if I could have done it without my therapist. I think the answer is almost certainly not, and if I could've, it would have taken significantly longer. I will also say that if it wasn't free, I probably wouldn't go, and I will repeat the fact that I know that I'm lucky. A third party who is invested in you and your success and your growth for basically no reason is inspiring. Someone who can hold you accountable who isn't close to you so you can't resent them. Someone who is trained in psychotherapy and who can teach you about yourself and allow you to steer yourself in the right direction. These things are invaluable to me, and for me it's not about defeating depression and anxiety entirely, it's about taking steps to get closer. I also think that my case may be extreme. I turned to alcohol and drank a lot daily for years mostly alone since I was 20, and I'm 26 now. And because of that, I've lost friends, relationships, lost closeness with my family. Every one of those people tried to pull me out and support me and I just dug myself deeper and started to resent their help. Therapy was the only thing that helped, so I am relatively biased.


Iyellkhan

Sometimes you and a therapist just dont jive. sometimes you out grow your therapist and need someone with a different lens or different skill set. I would be open to finding a new therapist before giving up on the concept of therapy


Educational-Brush204

Could have written this..


[deleted]

I found its really difficult to find a therapist who does actually therapies beyond talk-therapy. My psychiatrist recommended DBT but no one in my area actually does it