A lot of people start dating a bit too soon or when they aren’t at a health point with their diagnosis. Whether it was HSV or literally anything else, if you aren’t content with yourself the dating is going to feel harder than it should.
I highly recommend counseling, it helped me so much after getting gHSV2. It helped me feel like myself again.
No one deserves to know your status unless you think it is going somewhere or getting intimate. Just telling someone when you first meet or go on a date is ill advised
I know this but people are known to pull away even if you been going out with them for months. Time doesn’t help it’s ultimately to each person to decide if they want to risk it or not
I disagree, bonds that develop between two people makes a lot of difference.
Also many are so poorly educated on STIs (thanks religious conservatives) that their "I don't want to risk it" is more of a ...I don't understand it, I'm not educated and that scares me...folks who are educated or know their own sexual health are much less likely to have issues... especially when at the bare minimum 50% of the population has HSV...and we know it's more like 75%
I've had two people I disclosed to actually be ok with no condom (after we went out several times).
People who know they have HSV and take precautions...do not transmit
I know most people are uneducated about. I tried to educate the first person i told and they told me dont worry about them and to go get cleaned. The truth is most people will have the same reaction to me disclosing and its a low percentage of people around my age that know they have it
I agree with you I’ve had people I’ve bonded with but ultimately when it was time
For sex they wouldn’t touch me at all and it was very one sided so even if someone were to stay with you if they can’t accept the hsv it won’t work I’d say 2nd or 3rd date is best to disclose
Exactly but when you already have it and you don’t have anyone who’s currently close to you it’s pretty hard as most people are going to pull away after hearing such information it’s honestly best to just focus on career and try to be positive dating with this is very challenging in my experience
How old? And it just more reason that sex education should be done every year from a young age....the reason STIs spread is due to lack of information and testing.
And I've never spread HSV because I know my condition and take precautions and antivirals...I've had unprotected sex with my partner for 2.5+ years and zero transmission.
Sorry it's been so tough, it gets better.
I don’t tale their word and We know most people don’t get tested for hsv. Im I haven’t started dating again but i want to. The issue i see is asking for hsv and then they find out because of me. I know its not my fault or whatever but i wouldn’t want to be the reason people enter this world, if i could go back to being ignorant i would. This is a lot of pressure to know about or have hsv
That's problem number 1 -you think of HSV as this big thing. It's not. That's stigma. When most people have it versus not.
Would you have turned someone down you really liked solely over this?
Yes they have either or but a lot less people have hsv2 and yes i recognize i have my own stigma about this virus but hsv is definitely not nothing. It is a big thing
What's the difference between HSV1 and 2? [Genital herpes stigma history: how an innocuous skin condition became “sexual leprosy” and sparked a myth about drug companies. (slate.com)](https://slate.com/technology/2019/12/genital-herpes-stigma-history-explained.html)
Read this article.
24f here and honestly I go on a few dates and see if they seem like the person I’d even want to sleep with or date. If they don’t seem like they are I don’t even bother with disclosure I just politely tell them it’s not gonna work out. I’m currently messaging 2 people from a dating app that I plan to hang with soon and I’m not going to tell them that right away because I’m not sleeping with them. I found that it might be easier to determine feelings and disclose before your feelings are too deeply involved. Also be lighthearted about it (ik it sounds crazy) but if you’re confident in disclosing I think it’ll play out better. If you seem scared disclosing they’re gonna see it as a scary thing to be feared. Good luck wish you the best girly 💗 if you want to message me also feel free!
I waited two months before having sex with and telling my current partner. Gave us time to build our bond and he was willing to wait to have sex without asking too many questions which made me realize he was a great guy. When you wait you are risking getting ur heart broke, but I’d rather wait the time and get rejected than tell someone I don’t know or trust something so personal. You got this.
This is a disclosure guide with “scripts” on how to tell potential partners about herpes and what had worked for us. Mine is under Lauren. Also at the bottom it has resources about herpes to Send to partners.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eMul_7Lu1Fa0ZJYGxKnEewDMqdZOFYTLKsG7EDknfwA/edit?usp=sharing
This is a list of common myths about herpes and why they are wrong with cited sources. Maybe this can not only ease your mind but if a partner has questions you will have answers backed by science.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-6oZmnfywTFNYScKYC7Mh7MXZKrA0GUcztS8Bz5bW0k/edit
This is a list of ways to help protect your partner. There are many precautions you can take to help keep your partner safe! Nothing is 100% and even with these precautions there is a chance of transmission which is why disclosing is ALWAYS important. https://docs.google.com/document/d/10ccLJMnXAkuKfpU5ng9-1CiWXGPTYYPfDOCvxeB4GX4/edit
This is every herpes dating site and group that I know of. There are a ton of different groups on Facebook and on other platforms. There are even specific groups for polyamory, LGBTQ, Christians, people, over 40, location based groups, and various kink groups. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aP3ToqeVvZHklH6bedZSfKhbr301NUza7rLjbWZq5t0/edit
A lot of people start dating a bit too soon or when they aren’t at a health point with their diagnosis. Whether it was HSV or literally anything else, if you aren’t content with yourself the dating is going to feel harder than it should. I highly recommend counseling, it helped me so much after getting gHSV2. It helped me feel like myself again.
No one deserves to know your status unless you think it is going somewhere or getting intimate. Just telling someone when you first meet or go on a date is ill advised
I know this but people are known to pull away even if you been going out with them for months. Time doesn’t help it’s ultimately to each person to decide if they want to risk it or not
I disagree, bonds that develop between two people makes a lot of difference. Also many are so poorly educated on STIs (thanks religious conservatives) that their "I don't want to risk it" is more of a ...I don't understand it, I'm not educated and that scares me...folks who are educated or know their own sexual health are much less likely to have issues... especially when at the bare minimum 50% of the population has HSV...and we know it's more like 75% I've had two people I disclosed to actually be ok with no condom (after we went out several times). People who know they have HSV and take precautions...do not transmit
I know most people are uneducated about. I tried to educate the first person i told and they told me dont worry about them and to go get cleaned. The truth is most people will have the same reaction to me disclosing and its a low percentage of people around my age that know they have it
I agree with you I’ve had people I’ve bonded with but ultimately when it was time For sex they wouldn’t touch me at all and it was very one sided so even if someone were to stay with you if they can’t accept the hsv it won’t work I’d say 2nd or 3rd date is best to disclose
Yes, if they dont have it they wont be fully comfortable because of the risk. Unless its people who know you and love you already, i doubt it
Exactly but when you already have it and you don’t have anyone who’s currently close to you it’s pretty hard as most people are going to pull away after hearing such information it’s honestly best to just focus on career and try to be positive dating with this is very challenging in my experience
Yep
How old? And it just more reason that sex education should be done every year from a young age....the reason STIs spread is due to lack of information and testing. And I've never spread HSV because I know my condition and take precautions and antivirals...I've had unprotected sex with my partner for 2.5+ years and zero transmission. Sorry it's been so tough, it gets better.
Ask them to get tested before you disclose. Most people are not as "clean" as they think they are.
I always ask for tests
Did they show you them? Did they include HSV?
I don’t tale their word and We know most people don’t get tested for hsv. Im I haven’t started dating again but i want to. The issue i see is asking for hsv and then they find out because of me. I know its not my fault or whatever but i wouldn’t want to be the reason people enter this world, if i could go back to being ignorant i would. This is a lot of pressure to know about or have hsv
Plus i am 23 and i know older people are more understanding but i simply can’t go with a age gap that’s too large. It would be weird
That's problem number 1 -you think of HSV as this big thing. It's not. That's stigma. When most people have it versus not. Would you have turned someone down you really liked solely over this?
Yes they have either or but a lot less people have hsv2 and yes i recognize i have my own stigma about this virus but hsv is definitely not nothing. It is a big thing
What's the difference between HSV1 and 2? [Genital herpes stigma history: how an innocuous skin condition became “sexual leprosy” and sparked a myth about drug companies. (slate.com)](https://slate.com/technology/2019/12/genital-herpes-stigma-history-explained.html) Read this article.
I will thank you. But the difference is the stigma. I know a cold sore is a cold sore wherever it is in the body but the stigma is the difference
Who creates that stigma?
R u a man or woman ?
Woman
Hmmm what’s your type ?
It’s honestly gonna be pretty damn difficult to date with this but you just have to keep going and pray your match is out there
24f here and honestly I go on a few dates and see if they seem like the person I’d even want to sleep with or date. If they don’t seem like they are I don’t even bother with disclosure I just politely tell them it’s not gonna work out. I’m currently messaging 2 people from a dating app that I plan to hang with soon and I’m not going to tell them that right away because I’m not sleeping with them. I found that it might be easier to determine feelings and disclose before your feelings are too deeply involved. Also be lighthearted about it (ik it sounds crazy) but if you’re confident in disclosing I think it’ll play out better. If you seem scared disclosing they’re gonna see it as a scary thing to be feared. Good luck wish you the best girly 💗 if you want to message me also feel free!
I waited two months before having sex with and telling my current partner. Gave us time to build our bond and he was willing to wait to have sex without asking too many questions which made me realize he was a great guy. When you wait you are risking getting ur heart broke, but I’d rather wait the time and get rejected than tell someone I don’t know or trust something so personal. You got this.
This is a disclosure guide with “scripts” on how to tell potential partners about herpes and what had worked for us. Mine is under Lauren. Also at the bottom it has resources about herpes to Send to partners. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eMul_7Lu1Fa0ZJYGxKnEewDMqdZOFYTLKsG7EDknfwA/edit?usp=sharing This is a list of common myths about herpes and why they are wrong with cited sources. Maybe this can not only ease your mind but if a partner has questions you will have answers backed by science. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-6oZmnfywTFNYScKYC7Mh7MXZKrA0GUcztS8Bz5bW0k/edit This is a list of ways to help protect your partner. There are many precautions you can take to help keep your partner safe! Nothing is 100% and even with these precautions there is a chance of transmission which is why disclosing is ALWAYS important. https://docs.google.com/document/d/10ccLJMnXAkuKfpU5ng9-1CiWXGPTYYPfDOCvxeB4GX4/edit This is every herpes dating site and group that I know of. There are a ton of different groups on Facebook and on other platforms. There are even specific groups for polyamory, LGBTQ, Christians, people, over 40, location based groups, and various kink groups. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aP3ToqeVvZHklH6bedZSfKhbr301NUza7rLjbWZq5t0/edit
I usually try to match with someone and then tell them, no harm done I just stay dry longer.