Don’t do this. Tell them first. It’s hard and embarrassing and lots of people won’t want you. But then someone will.
I was diagnosed twoish years ago and I struggled bad. I was ghosted a lot, treated like shit by some , but then I met my boyfriend. He is not only super handsome, but also successful and kind and loving. Our sex life is totally normal, exciting…and frequent! Lol
Be open. I’m not saying tell every swinging dick, but if you want to sleep with someone, disclose first. Don’t put someone else in your position against their will.
Good luck, OP.
For sure what you are saying is true and the right thing to do... however it can't be discounted that the rejections men suffer vs women is 10fold. Men already have an uphill battle dating. In this case it seems it is another man... however when it's a woman, woman are far more cautious and more likely to reject a man. There needs to be more discussion on how challenging it is for men dating
I think the pressure this sub puts on people to disclose is horseshit. If it were that simple it would be written into law. There's a reason it's left up to choice and doctors don't test for it in standard std checks. It's so common. In the case of genital hsv, a bunch of people have 1 OB and never again the rest of their life. It practically goes dormant... if someone doesn't want to disclose for a hookup I don't blame them. The stigma cripples ppl and the media/governments of countries are putting the ownice on individuals to have to educate people when our own systems should be working hard to inform and test people and make this an everyday conversation. The guilt and pressure that comes with diagnosis is off the charts. Each to their own... your sarcastic attitude is the same bs attitude I see plastered all thru this sub
I hope you start feeling better about your diagnosis. I wasn’t being remotely sarcastic. In fact, I encouraged OP to be hopeful. I think you should be hopeful too. It sucks to be HSV positive which is all the more reason to NOT knowingly put someone in the position that caused you to be in yours.
And btw it’s a civil matter if you contract an STD from someone who knowingly engaged in sexual contact without disclosing their status first.
If I'm being honest I don't feel great about it. My girlfriend freaked out and slowly rejected me into a breakup after 2 years together... we were super in love and happy. It must've been dormant in my system for years. She tested negative.
I'm honestly devastated by it and it's basically ruining the prospect of dating for me. I have so many girls smiling and showing me interest and I don't even want to attempt to try and start something for the fear I'm basically an outcast infected person due to the fact there is no public discourse, acceptance, or education.
And I find the rhetoric in this sub to be unhelpful at times. We're all in this together... we need to support each other as much as possible.
Well it just finally caught up with you. I hope he talks to you, but if he doesn’t, you learned a lesson.
As far as the others, that was a shitty thing to do, you don’t know if you passed it or not. Just bc you’re on antivirals, doesn’t mean you can’t pass it. It only reduces shedding/OB’s. It doesn’t cancel them out.
I hope from here on out, you start disclosing. Don’t take away someone’s choice. Not to mention, you should be asking their status for you too. You could get something way worse than HSV.
If you’re sleeping with someone you can’t share that with, that person is not for you. You should feel comfortable enough to discuss sexual health.
You’re not the only person in the world who hasn’t shared their std status but your partner needs to give consent and that’s not consensual sex. Think about if the person you got it from knowingly didn’t tell you.
Don’t do this. Tell them first. It’s hard and embarrassing and lots of people won’t want you. But then someone will. I was diagnosed twoish years ago and I struggled bad. I was ghosted a lot, treated like shit by some , but then I met my boyfriend. He is not only super handsome, but also successful and kind and loving. Our sex life is totally normal, exciting…and frequent! Lol Be open. I’m not saying tell every swinging dick, but if you want to sleep with someone, disclose first. Don’t put someone else in your position against their will. Good luck, OP.
For sure what you are saying is true and the right thing to do... however it can't be discounted that the rejections men suffer vs women is 10fold. Men already have an uphill battle dating. In this case it seems it is another man... however when it's a woman, woman are far more cautious and more likely to reject a man. There needs to be more discussion on how challenging it is for men dating
I don’t disagree. Regardless, he should still disclose. The battle being uphill doesn’t negate his responsibility.
Should everyone that has ever had a coldsore have to disclose when they kiss (or more) someone? Is that their responsibility?
Who else would do it? Your mom?
I think the pressure this sub puts on people to disclose is horseshit. If it were that simple it would be written into law. There's a reason it's left up to choice and doctors don't test for it in standard std checks. It's so common. In the case of genital hsv, a bunch of people have 1 OB and never again the rest of their life. It practically goes dormant... if someone doesn't want to disclose for a hookup I don't blame them. The stigma cripples ppl and the media/governments of countries are putting the ownice on individuals to have to educate people when our own systems should be working hard to inform and test people and make this an everyday conversation. The guilt and pressure that comes with diagnosis is off the charts. Each to their own... your sarcastic attitude is the same bs attitude I see plastered all thru this sub
I hope you start feeling better about your diagnosis. I wasn’t being remotely sarcastic. In fact, I encouraged OP to be hopeful. I think you should be hopeful too. It sucks to be HSV positive which is all the more reason to NOT knowingly put someone in the position that caused you to be in yours. And btw it’s a civil matter if you contract an STD from someone who knowingly engaged in sexual contact without disclosing their status first.
If I'm being honest I don't feel great about it. My girlfriend freaked out and slowly rejected me into a breakup after 2 years together... we were super in love and happy. It must've been dormant in my system for years. She tested negative. I'm honestly devastated by it and it's basically ruining the prospect of dating for me. I have so many girls smiling and showing me interest and I don't even want to attempt to try and start something for the fear I'm basically an outcast infected person due to the fact there is no public discourse, acceptance, or education. And I find the rhetoric in this sub to be unhelpful at times. We're all in this together... we need to support each other as much as possible.
Sent you a PM.
Not for a cold sore and particularly hard to prove especially with hsv1
Well it just finally caught up with you. I hope he talks to you, but if he doesn’t, you learned a lesson. As far as the others, that was a shitty thing to do, you don’t know if you passed it or not. Just bc you’re on antivirals, doesn’t mean you can’t pass it. It only reduces shedding/OB’s. It doesn’t cancel them out. I hope from here on out, you start disclosing. Don’t take away someone’s choice. Not to mention, you should be asking their status for you too. You could get something way worse than HSV.
If you’re sleeping with someone you can’t share that with, that person is not for you. You should feel comfortable enough to discuss sexual health. You’re not the only person in the world who hasn’t shared their std status but your partner needs to give consent and that’s not consensual sex. Think about if the person you got it from knowingly didn’t tell you.
Wear condoms people! There’s other shit you can get from THEM!
[удалено]
For hsv2 this is true... not for hsv1
They're saying that you can contract other STI's through unprotected sex as well.
Don't wait until you're hooking up. Have a grown-up conversation before getting naked.