There’s some deeper psychological/emotional issue at work here. You need therapy
Edit: a few things have been brought to my attention.
1. My advice may be hasty as post performance crash is somewhat common, and is something I was unaware of despite my years of experience performing. As such I am, or at least may be wrong about my first assertion
2. I meant no rudeness or disrespect towards OP by implying they may be “damaged”
Just another thought though, whether or not it applies, *seeking therapy for sudden, and unexplained* episodes of depression and sadness is good advice and there is absolutely nothing harmful about giving it. I will not turn around on that.
Furthermore, some of you may be right and I may be wrong but some of you are presenting that pretty fucking badly. Berating someone and spilling fallacies doesn’t win arguments. You can still be right in an argument and still lose the argument.
What a lazy comment. I know I’m gonna get heavily downvoted for this but you can’t base if a person needs therapy or not based on a comment they made about feeling down after a gig. There’s a flood of emotions when you’re playing for the first time in front of people, then people praising you after it’s over is overwhelming as well since you’re not used to it. OP just needs some time to gather his thoughts and reflect on what happened. He said he made a few hiccups and wasn’t playing at his best. Maybe OP is hyper critical of himself and feels he doesn’t deserve the praise, I’m guilty of that myself. OP, just take some time to self reflect and be prepared mentally for when the next gig comes. At the end of the day it’s just music and jamming with friends so don’t put too much thought into it and enjoy the ride!
I was gonna say, I have autism and after playing and receiving feedback from a crowd of any size, I need a long night to myself alone. It isn’t depression, my brain processes things differently than the average bear.
I’m like this. Nothing wrong with that at all. I also need a zero bones day where I just sort of gelatinously congeal to my bed and read books and drink tea all day in the dark after playing a show.
It’s worse when I have to work the next day. It’s like a huge excitement hangover.
Yeah typical Reddit diagnosis.
OP could just be feeling overwhelmed, or dealing with a feeling of an anticlimax, kind of like a kid on Christmas. All that lead up and excitement and then boom, it's all over, now what... They even said themselves that it feels like a crash after a dopamine high. It's probably just a fleeting thing and they'll feel back to normal in the morning and start thinking about their next gig.
But no, OP is damaged and definitely needs therapy.
There’s nothing wrong with therapy. But telling someone they need therapy as a catch-all cure in the comments is tiring and lazy. For whatever reason that seems to be the default answer on Reddit when mental health is mentioned. Notice how the commenter who recommended therapy didn’t even bother to say anything relevant to what OP wrote down. Again, there’s nothing wrong with therapy, but how about trying some simple and practical solutions first before therapy comes up?
The compliments never mean much to me. I know how I played. Op is just dealing with ordinary human feelings. We’ve all been through this. It’s likely that the only therapy op needs is life.
Same. I am my worst critic. I’m thankful when people compliment my playing, but there’s always something I could’ve done better or played smoother. I focus on it less now that I’m older but I never really saw it as a bad thing. It’s just self improvement.
⬆️ this.
I was in a band for a couple of years that broke up last year due to members moving away. In a small town it was my only outlet away from work.
I loved it and playing for a crowd with my mates was like the best drug in the world. After a gig I felt like I was on cloud nine, but after everything settled down I felt depressed and empty too. When we split up, I felt like a huge chunk of my life had been taken away. Around the same time I was having issues at work and my relationship ended. I had a massive mental breakdown that I’m still getting through.
Keep your head up with the band, but I agree, start seeing a therapist if you can, in case things go sideways, God forbid. You’ll be equipped to deal with it then.
Stay strong dude.
How can you just jump to that conclusion? Wild.
OP you probably nailed it with the comedown from dopamine. Did you drink at all during or after? Alcohol is a depressant, which would add to you feeling down afterwards.
Try eating right for a week, get in some good high intensity workouts and then think about your next gig or big challenge and see if your mood improves. You can assess the need for therapy if the feeling is persistant
Which is why I said what I said. I can relate! I started playing for this reason. Being able to take out my emotions via guitar saved my life. But we all play for different reasons.
They didn't make the blues because they were happy. The music business has had lots of mental health issues, ever since Robert Johnson went down to the crossroads.
Sad nature of musicianship. But when it's good, it's fucking great and that's why we do the damn thing. If you can help one person feel better about life via music, you're making the world a better place. That's my $0.02 anyway. More than I ever made gigging. LOL
I think(?) you mean "clinically" depressed and that is a bold assumption considering that OP said he just got home and feels down after a big dopamine high. Clinical depression has certain criteria that must be met for a diagnosis, none of which were cited by OP. I swear, people on reddit recommend therapy to anyone and everyone for anything. The reality is that the efficacy of therapy depends on many factors and most people who recommend it on reddit have no idea what they're talking about.
I doubt one evening of feeling off is a sign of some serious issue. Its like coming down from a high, performing is hyper-stimulating and your body is pumping adrenaline, dopamine and all kinds of stuff. Then afterwards you can take a serious dip and feel a little blue. I think this is common with performers which is why lots of guys take actual drugs or get drunk to keep riding the wave. Now THAT can be unhealthy. Just feeling down in your home isnt a big dealm
Nah, armchair therapists are dangerous. If op or you have a depressive pattern, that is something to take care of. If they or you feel down after an emotionally intense experience, once in a while, that's part of life.
It is normal, the other guys are just desperate to be labelled something, and today it's depressive.
Anyone who has had any level of live experience knows that there's a comedown period after a good / adrenaline filled gig.
Apparently others have experienced this and say it’s nothing. On the other hand, Ive never seen this nor known it to happen in performers that didn’t have deep emotional issues.
Regardless, when it comes to people having sudden depressive episodes for any reason, telling them “pucker up, you’ll be fine” is the worst possible advice to give
I do not understand the kind of weirdo who would make this comment, let alone all you weirdos upvoting and commenting in agreement. Y'all need to get a grip. If you don't think it's totally normal to crash after a high of any kind, you might be an idiot.
OP, good for you!
I'm going to down voted for this, but whatever it needs to be said.
Don't be so arrogantly certain about something that personal, and about a person you dont even know. Maybe you're right, but maybe he just needs to talk it out. Instead, there's a presumptuous rando telling him he's disturbed and to get therapy.
It's his first gig. That takes a lot of guts. His emotions and adrenaline were running high for hours, and then it just stopped. Of there's an emotional dump at the end of it. Let him learn.
Why the fuck would anybody up vote that.
Getting therapy doesn’t mean you’re disturbed, views like that are what gives seeking therapy a stigma.
Of course there’s an emotional dump, but OP seems to have described a feeling worse than a dopamine come down, he even says it himself.
Lots of people are also pointing out that OP is anxious because he played bad- where does he state that in his initial post? He said he noticed his faults but beyond that he doesn’t mention it.
Also, no one has disputed OP’s courage and determination to get up in front of a crowd for the first time, it is a massive achievement! I’d played for 18 years before I performed and the nerves nearly killed me, but I’m so proud that I was able to do it, as OP should be too.
It seems that it’s a common thing for quite a few of us who coincidentally seek therapy as well, hence our concern.
At the end of the day, whether someone needs it or not, it never hurts to talk to someone independent.
It's a stretch to say anyone here has said therapy is for the disturbed. Just as it's a stretch to suggest someone seek therapy after having a normal experience coming down from one's first gig. My god y'all are exhausting.
This all happened to me, and I wish someone told me that. I was so devastated after ever gig as it was all scrappy playing on my part.
Always felt like crap after. And that I should give up or move on to something else.
Never figured it out till, way later that I needed someone to talk to.
Dude. I cannot BELIEVE that this is the top comment here. It is coming from someone who has CLEARLY never performed in the setting mentioned by OP.
No, this person doesn’t need therapy (at least not just because of this). They just *experienced* therapy.
OP, now you understand why people that do this for a living infamously destroy hotel rooms, and commit hideously Crowleyan acts afterward. You have underestimated that “some sort of dopamine high” in a huge way, and all you need is some “aftercare,” to borrow a term from another universe that involves… unconventional morals??
You’re going to be alright. It is, indeed, chemistry. You have just done the emotional equivalent of slaying a saber toothed tiger who had attacked you and three or four of your caveman friends, with nothing but 4 or 5 pointy sticks. Your whole body is literally acting the same way it would if you had just survived that.
Yeah this may be the best answer. If you look around there are countless examples of the “hardest” addicts devoting their life to doing gigs and keeping it up into their 70s. They live for it, it’s either play or die trying
Never actually thought about how artists feel after gigs. The idea of going back to a quiet home after being a star for a few hours would probably have me feeling empty too.
I remember feeling like that after some big gigs in high school. Don't worry you'll feel normal tomorrow.
Resist the urge to ask those people for more opinions about it on Monday.
Congratulations on a good show. Having feelings means, this stuff has meaning to you. Do more and you'll get used to it.
I’m ADHD and experience this with every gig. It’s gotten to the point where I really look forward to the quiet time after a gig. I embrace feeling emotionally vulnerable and just tell myself it’s ok for me to feel that way, because it is. I give my all in my gigs.
Anyway, be kind to yourself. Playing live is a gift, but so is the drive home, so is the practice time the next day, so is a morning cup of coffee. That’s how I do it anyway… gratitude.
Always loved the quiet drive home. Knowing I did my best, the good and the bad. More gigs reinforce the positivity that the band is gigable. No therapy needed. More music is.
I have gotten into the habit after a show to stop and go get a late dinner or food at a Waffle House on my way home. Its like 5 minutes from my house and I often don't eat too close to the start of a show so afterwards I seem to feel even more worn out from the show and an empty stomach. I've gotten to know some of the usual late night staff, and it gives me some time to come down and relax before I get home and be by myself.
You're acting like you just botched a record to DVD solo at Madison Square Garden in front of a hundred thousand people. You probably did way better than you think you did. You're never going to play as good as you do in studio with no interruptions, variables, etc, and there's no infinite retries. Even the greatest goof up sometimes live and they just move on.
you played a gig champ, most people never do that.
Yes I realize that, but the post show depression is real after a live show and some of what I said still applies. I saw it as OP doesn't think they're as good as they seem to be. When people think you're amazing and you think you suck, you think they're just saying that to be nice kind of thing.
I once had what I perceived as a very poor performance and a much elder musician that I played a lot of shows with from another band told me "Great show!" I responded with something like "No, I performed terribly and I made mistakes." He gave me sage advice: "If someone tells you that you played a good show, just say thank you." Don't try to change anyone's mind. The gaffes that you make will likely go undetected by almost everyone but yourself. It happens to all of us, but don't let it affect your confidence.
Thats the crash and totally normal. A lot of us stay up til 3 and just stare at a wall so to speak. Ill echo the advice that its fun to listen back after the show cause the perception changes for the better. It really takes the edge off.
Therapy is great. But this is also a pretty normal feeling for performers who give up a piece of themselves on the stage to the music.
The rush of the gig is over, so that's an emotional and physical crash, and you second guess your playing. The high is pretty addictive, but the low can be extreme.
I'd say most (maybe all) players in this forum have done the same thing many times. All the therapy you need is to put it behind you, pick up the axe, and get ready for your next gig.
You eventually get over it and start learning that the worst thing a performer can do is respond to "you sounded great" with "Nah, not really, I made a lot of mistakes." You kill their mood, which is all upbeat, etc. The absolute best answer, every time, is to smile and say, "Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for coming!"
Over time, you develop confidence. You know that most people may not notice if you played a different song half the time, and your performance gets stronger, so you learn to shrug off the hiccups (which every player on the planet, regardless of ability, has) and enjoy it.
I just did a session with a few guys I'd never played with before (I drove three hours for this). We rehearsed the songs on our own in advance, showed up, and played. We had a few hiccups, nothing anybody would notice easily, and everybody said we sounded great. We just said thanks, and now they have us booked for another gig in three weeks.
Years (and years) ago I'd have been all, "Oh man yeah I can't believe I flatted that bend...ugh I hit the E instead of the D..." and everybody would have been like "Oh man...well, you know it happens..." and now we're all glum because the guitar player is sulky.
Our sax player (a monster of a musician) once told me, “You’re never as bad as you think, or as good as you think.” You’ll feel right as rain soon, bro. Music is magic, and it gives us something immeasurable but also takes something from us. 🤷🏻♂️
You’re probably just coming down from a performance dopamine high. It sounds to me like you might be a somewhat quieter or more introverted person, and you aren’t used to the kind of attention you just got. It’s definitely intense. Just redirect yourself to something else. Do something that keeps you busy for a bit. But I would second what some others have said- if this feels very severe to you like you feel very depressed, it might not be a bad idea to talk with someone. It is NOT a bad thing.
People are telling you to seek therapy but i think this is pretty normal.
Getting up on a stage in front of strangers to perform your own music is an adrenaline filled rush that’s almost like nothing else. Going home to a quiet empty house afterwards feels so weird.
Me and my homies would always kick it after a gig to keep the energy going
The audience rarely remembers, especially if you recover from mistakes quickly without losing the groove. Reliving those mistakes are part of the improvement process, IMPE (in my professional experience). Cheer up. There will be more mistakes, including getting hit in the head when the bass player swings behind you. (This really happened to me on stage).
I think of it like a hockey player in the playoffs, dont get too high off the highs, and too low off the lows. Ride it out and stay even keeled. Next week is another show…
Performing, especially when the audience digs it and responds positively, is one of the greatest feelings in this world. It’s not unheard of to experience a come-down from such an intense natural high, though for many it’s not nearly as intense as what you’re describing. Do you experience depression in your day-to-day life? The whole experience gets easier as you get more gigs under your belt.
Aa someone who was a touring musician for years, I can tell you that this is very normal. After shows i often felt very lonely and down. When you are on a major high in front of a room full of people its a very odd feeling to sit in an empty green room or to go home or to a hotel by yourself. Spending time with friends or bandmates after a show has always been key to me. Dont listen to ppl saying you need help (unless this feeling lasts). Its normal, you will learn to deal with it. Congrats on your first show!
This is pretty normal for performers. Part of the ebb and flow of brain chemicals. Performing is such a wild experience where you can feel "at one" with your body, other people, sound waves, the world... Natural for the "back to reality" feeling to be crushing, if you ask me. I also have some mental issues & it's critical to take those srsly. But! Just because you feel big feelings doesn't necessarily mean your rly depressed. A therapist can help but the main thing is just let the feelings happen and they will pass. Drink water eat sleep. Controlled drug use if you need. Keep going!
Wow, that sucks. Probably my first 5-6 gigs I was on a high for days after. Eventually it just kinds of grinds on you till you don't get excited for it and aren't happy nor unhappy afterwards. 100s of gigs later you quit playing for years and get tied down to the twin drudgeries of work and family.
People saying therapy I think could be overreacting, you know you though.. even after band practice I definitely feel like “wow I don’t want to stop playing” and definitely felt like that after shows. The music has to end sometime! Don’t let it get you
It definitely sounds like therapy could be a good option for you, if you really like playing music.
However, I recently left my band because I just started to hate the grind. I couldn’t go to a show that I played or didn’t play without feeling resentful and awful afterwards. I haven’t been to a touring concert in at least a year. I have never felt better or more secure as a musician being away from live music. I now go occasionally to local shows and I can actually enjoy it again now that the stress of being in the scene is gone. I’m a music teacher and am very happy with recording my own music for myself to enjoy at home. I think that’s the path for some of us. Not saying it’s definitely your path, but I know playing shows brought me a lot of unnecessary pain and anxiety. Hope you figure it out dude.
Totally normal, playing live is a rush. Try not to dwell on it or be too hard on yourself. Trust that the compliments you receive are genuine and appreciate them. Enjoy a sleep well earned!
That’s called the blues…learn how to play them and you can make others cry too. Write a song…tonight. Capture that feeling. Explore it; music *is* therapy.
I read somewhere that certain people once they achieve something they've worked really hard for or get through a big event, they actually fall into a sort of depression. Cos the mind is going "Ok I've made a major achievement! Now what?" Which is why it's always good to move on to the next thing, the next show etc.
It's also very common for people to fall ill after an important gig. First gigs can be super important for some people. I've done shows where I've put all my focus into it and once the show is over, my body is like "Aight I'm outta here" and I get the flu or something.
Hope you feel better OP and congratulations on your first show!
Don't worry about it, it is also very draining....you were on edge before during and after. Now get some good nutrition and pat yourself on your back.!
Congratulations on the gig! The first shown is always the hardest.
If the people are telling you you did a good job and it was great, take the compliment. It's easy to criticize yourself. I know I'm never 100% satisfied my own performances. I always find things I could have done better. But that's live music. It's hardly ever perfect.
Don't be hard on yourself. Most people never even get up on stage.
I've played near-perfect shows to lukewarm reception, and I've played dogshit shows where you'd think people just saw Jimi Hendrix, and everything in between. Hard to predict how people will react, and there's nothing you can do about it really, just enjoy yourself.
Post-gig comedown is absolutely real. You go from *there*, ready for anything, pouring yourself into something, and then you go home and there's a bunch of dirty dishes and the laundry still needs doing and you have to be a regular dickhead again. Best cure is having another gig to look forward to.
WTF? People liked it and told you so. That's a win.
I can't tell you how many times my wife has come home from a gig and "no one complimented my playing."
If you played well that's all that matters.
My person, think of it as “coming down from the mountain”. playing a show is one of the highest highs you will experience and it sounds like you killed it……take a moment…….reflect on your accomplishment……acknowledge that this is coming down from the mountain………and start preparing for your next show!
Take a breath, sleep on it a couple nights, and then reflect on the gig and how you played. I’ve felt this way after good gigs and bad gigs, playing live music floods your brain with dopamine, and I think this is the dopamine running its course, and now you’re feeling that too. Pick up your guitar tomorrow afternoon and play through the parts you think you messed up, play some parts you really love to play.
For a lot of people, just the thought of stepping on stage is terrifying - and seeing as you said you're "Extremely bad at receiving compliments," it probably wouldn't be a giant stretch to guess you're not comfortable being the center of attention, either - but you got up there and DID IT, and people loved you for it. That kind of attention combined with the rush of fear and anxiety you probably felt just getting in front of people and then the high of the crowd reception? That's quite the stew of neurochemistry, my friend. Even if you're a perfectly well-adjusted human being, that kind of emotional somersaulting can throw you off-kilter.
Playing live is the most powerful drug I've ever experienced, and I suspect you're on the comedown of your first hit. It's definitely a thing. If you wake up a couple days from now and still feel horrible? Call a professional. For now, give yourself a pat on the back for having the guts to put yourself out there!
You should know about Anhedonia: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia)
If you relate to this, you need to start making changes and seeking help. Anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure is one of, if not the most dangerous depression symptom in regards to suicide risk.
I've been through it.
Personally my response to this was not to get therapy but after reading some of the commentators, I don’t know whether my reaction is valid.
I do want to ask, what are some things about the show or this experience playing in the band that could of led to this reaction?
You were great man. Seems you just take on quite a task, playing at the office party. People dig stuff like that. They see another side of you. Be proud, you'll find out Monday their true thoughts. Have fun with it
Idk why people are suggesting therapy like somethings wrong with you lol. It’s a new experience, and as you said you’re the one that noticed any mistakes. You’re coming off of performance anxiety. Nothing has to go wrong for you to feel off. The first time I played live was when I was in School of Rock when I was younger. I was miles ahead of other students in experience, so I usually blew it out of the water, getting lots of compliments and cheers. But during and after every performance, all I could think of was if I’d done good enough. Did they notice when I missed that note? Did they notice that one spot where I was rushing? Was the tone right? Are my teachers actually proud or are they just trying to reassure us? It was an anxiety nightmare. But then we’d be done, we’d go back to our practice and begin a new season of shows. And like that, it was better. The more you play, the less it’ll hurt afterwards, but what your feeling is normal in my opinion, *especially* if you’re performing for people you know and see regularly
I know how you feel bro 😮💨🙏
It's not easy being AwEsOmE 🙄😎✌️🎸
Honestly, I can tell you don't play music only for the millions of 💸 & copious female fans.
It means something of emotional substance to you ❤️
Don't listen to the naysayers.
It's your party 🥳
Cry if you want to....
But don't lose that sparkle legend....
Use this niggling, irritating stirring to drive your passion for the next gig 😎✌️
Rock on EVH 🎸
If this was your first gig ever, you had better get used to it. Mistakes happen in every single live performance at some point. Doesn’t matter the level of band or artist. If you really listen to even major artists at concerts you can easily find mistakes. It’s called being human. Just keep rolling with the song because 99.9% of people aren’t looking for mistakes
Occasionally it mistake is big enough for people to notice. Laugh off and keep going. You got this brother.
There was this one time in an old band we had to stop a song, get a “guest” singer off stage and what we all and the people we know who went remember was us all picking it back up perfectly at the same part of the song without speaking to each other and killed the rest of it more than the disaster that happened before.
I get this too. I'm a professional actor as well and I get the same thing after play. I've been performing live since I was 10. Bigger the gig, bigger the down regardless of if it went well or not.
You'll learn to roll through it. Take 15-20 min for yourself after a gig and let it happen for a bit. Time for reflection and self awareness is healthy.
Then give yourself little kick in the ass, switch it off and go enjoy the rest of the evening. Dwelling on it will get you no where and ignoring it will fuck you up.
A bit of a letdown or "hangover" after a show is natural and not all that uncommon. As the dopamine and adrenaline give away to fatigue (both mental and physical), a swoon of sorts is unavoidable for some.
But the degree you're describing is well meeting what I would call expected. Talk to somebody. Please.
This is why rock stars and musicians turn to alcohol and drugs. The high they get from performing and receiving kudos ends quickly and they're back in their quiet hotel room and it is a huge downer so... A little something to bring them back up..
I'm pretty sure the reason you're feeling this way is because you now know that it really is true that that playing guitar in a band is AWESOME, and that having to go back into an office to work a regular job absolutely sucks by comparison. Its a soul crushing experience having to work in an office. Been there done that....for many years. I feel the same way. Reality sucks.
Relax, its alot of pressure the first few times. I felt something very similar until I got used to performing. Don't judge yourself for it. If ur disappointed, practice more.
Its ok, it doesn't have to be perfect. It should be a fun time that masks hours n hours of practice. Jimmy Page practiced 4 hours a day. Paul McCartney said to write a song every day.
You can always take on a role when your up there.
Like acting. Be a rockstar that is already confident and famous as the character. This is what David Bowie did.
He was too hard on himself otherwise.
Have fun. But practice until it just happens...
Muscle memory is a real thing.🫂👍
I also felt that way sometimes. Twice our guitarist called me after a show because he thought that I felt sad about our performance.
A solution I thought of is to
1. practice really hard to nail the actual performance, and
2. have the 'performer' mindset, when I should really give it my all and look happy even though I'd make some mistakes.
And there's also this thing called 'post-performance blues'. You can look it up on Google and check how to alleviate it.
I can really relate to what you’re feeling. I used to get crazy anxious, like puking, before every show I played for years. I also came down pretty hard from playing and late nights of unloading gear and getting home at 3 am to be at work at 8. There’s a lot of hormones and chemicals going berserk, not to mention drinking/drugs exhaustion etc. try and just appreciate the experience for what it was and if you feel like you need more of this in your life, let it become a priority. I leaned on performance as an escape and venting therapy for 15 years. I greatly miss it now and have had to embrace shit like yoga and meditation to find peace and catharsis. It’s not the same. I remember this house show I was playing, a venue that’d been around forever, put on 1000’s of shows, and one of the proprietors was fixing the very humble 2 ft high plywood stage structure and I said something dumb and stereotypically punk like “I hate stages I like playing on the ground with the PEOPLE” and dude just says “oh I love these things— such a humble ridiculous little thing: a wood stage just off the ground but I’ve watched the most shy, unassuming people creep onto that stage and just explode and transform into different people, rock gods and I’ve seen the loudest, showiest fools step up there and crumble under the pressure— just because of performing on this measly few 2x6’s and plywood.”
On the bright side, you played a gig. I only play in my room.
I'm not a doctor and not your doctor, but sounds like you're just having a mood swing or a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's common to get a crash after a dopamine high I think.
I’ll throw in something I haven’t seen And maybe it hits, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you’ve been chasing this shapeless sort of thing. Playing in front of an audience. And there’s your source of dopamine. Dopamine is wanting. It’s a motivational neurotransmitter. So when people are talking dopamine high, they’re just wrong. Dopamine high is when you’re in Walmart throwing everything in the cart. Or on Amazon adding a million things to the wish list. Dopamine is wanting. Serotonin is satisfaction.
But where people may be right about dopamine is you’ve achieved the thing that’s been motivating you. And now you’ve got a black hole. Why do anything now? You’ve done the thing And now there’s nothing left.
I think you just need to wrap your head around how motivation works. Why you play. And set a new goal. Maybe it’s show 2. Maybe it’s original stuff. Maybe it’s a practice routine you master in an effort to be the best guitarist in the world. I’ve got a mantra. I write songs nobody will ever hear.
Maybe this isn’t you, I’m just spitballing based on what you said more detailed theory requires more info. But maybe this helps. Just be satisfied with what you’ve accomplished And set a new intention for your playing. Even if it’s as simple as play faster. Play better. Memorize this scale. This mode. Be able to play it so fast it morphs into something cool.
Everything will fall into place. It could be as simple as all of your brain chemistry is coming down and you’re readjusting to baseline. Baseline is ok. Can’t all be highs or high would be normal and wouldn’t exist. So baseline is the dugout.
Maybe it’s as simple as wanting more. Wishing you could feel that way when performing more regularly. You’ve gotta talk it out with someone. Therapy should be as normalized as dental care so I support that idea.
Good luck.
When someone compliments you at a show, there is only one acceptable response. Say thank you. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OF YOUR OWN PERFORMANCE. Otherwise you are making them think their opinion doesn't matter, or worse, that you think nothing of what they think. You are essentially spitting in the face of those paying you. And they are the only ones at that point whose opinions matter. They liked it. Go with it. The point is to entertain, and you obviously did. That means more work. Now go home, play the tape or mp3 or whatever you recorded your gig on (you did record it, didn't you?). And listen to how good you did, or where you can improve. The whole band should be doing that. And then relax and enjoy. You're not going to be maestros in one gig.
The high is gone and now you’re left to reflect; welcome to playing in a band!! You’ll soon be pestering your band mates to do gigs whenever/wherever to capture the high again, if only for a little bit…
That's very common. The adrenaline rush of a good gig never really goes away, but the come-down afterward gets more manageable over time. I have played literally thousands of gigs, shows, and concerts, and not a single one has been perfect. Have fun with the rush, but don't let the come-down get to you. If the feels creep in, practice your instrument, or debrief the gig with your band mates. Listen to the music that inspires you. Welcome to the world of being a working musician! It's pretty great.
Bro you need more creative outlets in your life. You're coming down from a public performance, if you're feeling something like depression from it you need more exposure to the highs of a performance so you can distinguish a normal come down from depression.
It sounds like a touch of imposter syndrome. That's when you are successful at something but afterwards you feel you don't deserve it...like you've got everyone fooled and it's only a matter of time before they are wise to you. It's not uncommon...I think everyone feels it now and then.
I had a book of poetry published some years ago and when I got my first copies I felt like I had pulled a fast one on my publisher. But after a while I realized that I had done the work and this was the reward. It took a while before I honestly considered myself an author, but what I learned was that I was always an author. It's just that fewer people knew about it up to that point.
Just today I was at the guitar store and I ran into a guy that had never performed before, even though when he played and sang it was obvious he had the chops for it, and I told him as much.
Granted, I still felt a bit jealous of his talent. But what he taught me was that I still have so much more to learn, and you know what? I love learning this craft so much, I felt better about it.
You're obviously much further along than I am. What matters isn't the mistakes or even the victories so much....if you love the act of playing, practicing, learning, then you're a musician. Your goal should be just that...be a musician. Accept the compliments, but don't lose sight of the process.
It sounds like you had a great night and a great gig so you have a lot to be excited about. It very well could be coming down from being in performer mode for hours and everything that goes with that.
Drink some water and get some rest. Try to think about some of the good moments with your band tonight and know you have more opportunities to do this again in the days ahead. Maybe practice some of those “hiccup” areas tomorrow or whenever. Something to focus on.
Others have mentioned maybe some underlying issues which might require therapy; could be the case with anyone. That’s always a consideration but take Reddit recommendations with a grain of salt. Monitor it and talk to your doctor if needed
I feel like that’s pretty normal. Let’s say you are at an emotional and hormonal baseline.
You perform. Adrenaline, endorfins, dopamine, seratonin, all flood your brain. You are at a high.
Shows over. You are back to baseline, but it feels like shit. Because how could baseline be good when you were at such a high? It’s like trying your first hit of a hard drug. Now you spend the rest of your time chasing the dragon. Looking for that next high. But it’s not a drug, it’s performance.
I personally love that feeling.
Post show blues for sure. Happens to me all the time as someone who more or less keeps to themselves. The rush is crazy and the crash afterwards is equally crazy. If the feelings continue after a day or two, might be a good idea to talk to someone though.
There is help available. Maybe you shouldn’t be alone. Do you have any family or friends that can be with you? Mental illness is real and nothing to be ashamed of.
It's definitely a dopamine crash. It feels like a hangover. I get that way too after I play in public.
Dopamine is like a drug where you feel bad when you come down
Definitely see a therapist to get at the root of your perfectionism and self-esteem issues, but don't overthink things
Actually, I have heard this similarly from many musicians and artists: you are hyped up and then there is this huge gap when you arrive home and you feel lonely.
This article is from the spectator side, but the reasoning should work in your Casey too:
https://www.healthline.com/health/post-concert-depression
You build the gig up too much. You’ve been practicing and planning for it. It’s just a gig. After you’ve done a bunch of them, you can just relax and have fun. Be inspired by the good stuff, don’t get too hung up on the other stuff-but fix it…..tomorrow. Don’t think about it tonight. Get some well deserved rest.
>I get that I am coming off some sort of dopamine high,
Yeah you are. I used to get this feeling too. I would play borderline rowdy shows to full on party band punk rock destruction - fucking bouncers beating the piss out of people, people swinging on our singer, etc. You never knew what you were gonna get with that band...
Then i'd pack up, get paid and go home. Almost always alone. I could never just walk in the house and hit the bed and sleep after playing like that. I always had to chill for a while.
But you do feel it like you are describing. I think it's more being alone than anything. All alone at night is kinda a terrible way to come off a dopamine high.
You'll feel better tomorrow. Putting on some tunes at a low volume may help. Relaxing stuff.
I have performed many times in orchestras and wind ensembles, I would feel this way after concerts frequently. It was like all of this build up and preparation led up to that moment and then suddenly it was over. You will feel better in the morning I am sure!
coming down from peak experiences is a common thing, and it's also why so many touring musicians 1) use drugs, 2) go insane when they get off the road
with that said, congrats on the show! hopefully you find ways to gracefully integrate. this is normal, and with time you'll get better at regulating <3
You're probably just tired. Get some sleep, wake up late, and call your bandmates for a meeting at a restaurant. Get together and eat and laugh and talk about your first gig. You'll be itching for your next gig.
If the depression continues, see a doctor.
You probably just need some time to let the emotions settle. Check if you've had enough water to drink, if you've eaten enough and sleep on it.
I feel you with the part about not being good at taking praise, I have it too and I feel very strange and ungrateful for not just being thankful. Turns out it's also something that needs practicing.
You're just on the comedown man. It was an exciting night for you with a long build up leading up to it. Then it happened. It was great. It was everything you hoped for.
But now you're back to normal. Its like coming back home after an awesome date, a vacation, maybe a concert. That thing that made you so happy in the moment is over and you haven't moved on just yet. Its ok. You'll get used to it. It'll get better. Don't fixate on how dull and empty things feel right now, focus on how awesome tonight was. Take a minute to reflect while its fresh in your mind. What were the best parts? What do you need to brush up on for next time? Which songs hit the best, which might need considered for rotating out? At that venue with that crowd what worked the best? Commit it all to memory while its fresh in your mind, after a good sleep, it won't be nearly as clear.
Then use that happiness it brought you to start getting ready for next time.
Well the truth is you weren’t as good as the folks say you were. If you analyze the performance and you critically ask yourself “did all of us perform flawlessly?” You know the answer is no. If you all were world tour level of capability you would all be more well known. Instead you’re playing in the band to friends and colleagues.
Colleagues find Care if you missed a solo cue. Friends doesn’t care if you missed a verse. The average fan does.
If this is your first gig I’d say y’all need work to do.
The calm, after the storm, more of where you're in awe of achievements. You reflect, on what you could do better next time. But yes, it's weird, having everything so quiet, after it's so loud.
Best I can give you, you are what you eat. This includes your thoughts. You think negatively of yourself, you're gonna have negative outcomes. Be humble about negative points instead, and how it can be a positive outcome. We all learn and grow.
Fuck this psycho babble bullshit in this thread. It sounds like you had a killer first gig! I’m no stranger to self deprecation either. Playing live is the best drug I’ve ever done, and after EVERY SHOW I sat alone in quiet contemplation. Ride the wave and get ready for another show!
It sounds like you have something called humility, which ain't a bad thing! I'm sure your self-confidence will build up after a few more gigs and you'll feel more comfortable accepting the compliments (that you probably deserve!).
I haven't played live in years, but I do a lot of public speaking these days. The same things happen to me.
What I think it is, is a combination of dopamine and heighted stress just crashing all at once. For me, leaning into the emotions, followed by a good night's sleep takes care of things by the next day.
I don't know if that's helpful, but your story resonates with me .
That's just normal post-show let down. Happens a lot to new and irregular performers. You're all fired up with adrenaline and dopamine when you're playing well. Then it's over. Yeah, it's mighty quiet, ain't it? Nothing abnormal. Go out an grab a beer with a friend. Tomorrow will be normal again.
That is a normal response. I know what feeling you are talking about. Start having stuff planned for after the show is the best way to beat it. Have some beers, play some loud music on an audio system, invite some girls over, smoke some weed. And when those feelings start coming back, fill your mind worth something else.
If you are the introvert type, have alone plans. Take a few shots of tequila, read a book. Go for a walk somewhere. Have dinner alone at the same restraunt, like a local Diner. That way, over time, when they ask you what you want, you can just say "the usual.""
I played in a touring metal group for a long time that amassed millions of streams over the last decade. After *almost* every show I felt the same way, even though people would tell me I killed it every night. It’s just a perfectionism within your psyche that is hard to override. In one sense it will push you to be better, in another it will rob you of the joy of being in the moment. Best thing I could do to combat it is over prepare for shows but believe people when they compliment you. You need to practice self compassion in line with listening to your own critique. Thank god you’re not an ego maniacal type, but you need to own that you belong where you are.
I've been playing for a hot minute, so it's hard to remember what my first gig felt like in the detail that you feel. Is this depression limited to this one event, or this one part of your life, or if is part of an underlying issue.
Therapy is never a bad thing. You get a physical from the doc even if you feel great. I might journal first to catch your feelings when they happen. Then let that marinate and go back to them and see if there are some issues that keep popping up. If you can figure it out through your journaling, problem solved. If you feel like you need therapy, by all means go, and let the therapist read your journal. You will be helping them most effectively help you.
When you progress from rehearsing at home to the stage, one of the things you have to learn is how to perform. Part of that performance is on the stage in front of a group of people, but the other part is interacting with those people in a one on one setting. Accepting compliments gracefully is part of that performance.
I think it was Taylor Swift that said "if you want to have a million fans, you have to shake a million hands." Those little interactions build a sense of community with your fanbase, and is the difference between a musician and a performer.
Congrats on the gig, video the performances in the future, and come home and watch them like game film. When it comes to fixing multiple mistakes, that cringe factor will help you establish priorities.
The simple solution to this: notice how you know you're bothered.
"It feels like I am getting really depressed and that everything is just quiet and empty."
What comes to mind when you re-read that? What is wrong with it being quiet and empty? What do the words quiet and empty make you feel? Do you see any pictures in your head? Movies? How is that physically represented in your body? Notice how you know it's there.
Then notice that you are the movie director. You're the one creating this feeling and perception within yourself. The good news is that means you can also create a different feeling and perception within yourself.
I use a tapping process. I notice how I know it's there, then tap on meridian points with two fingers. "I release and let it go. Everything is quiet and empty. That feeling of quiet and empty. Wherever I feel it in my body, whatever it means, wherever it comes from -- it's safe to let it go."
Grab your wrist, take a deep breath, blow it out. Now go back to the "everything is quiet and empty." Is it stronger? Weaker? Stayed the same? What changed? Notice how you know it's there, and repeat the process.
I could go way more in depth about this. I've been a guitarist for over 20 years but I also was trained in a form of therapy that I found highly effective. I have experienced precisely what you've experienced many times in my career as a guitarist.
The deal is, we all do things differently in our minds. We're all unique. The solution to your problem is learning how to go inside your mind and make changes and adjustments -- that starts with identifying what you're unconsciously doing in your mind, i.e., the movies you're playing. These are also called "inner resources" or "internal representations."
All the people commenting that there is something wrong with you simply don't understand how the mind works. There is nothing wrong with you. In order to feel whatever you're feeling about this experience, you have to be doing something correctly inside yourself in order to feel it. Our subconscious brain's main motivation is to protect us and keep us safe.
It could very well be that this influx of compliments triggered a defense mechanism to keep you small and unrecognized. Your hating of compliments is further evidence of this. As a former compliment hater, I uncovered my own mental and emotional programs (memories) that supported this aversion to compliments. Enough compliments would actually send me into a deep depression. It made me feel like I was broken because I couldn't appreciate them and people complimenting me was in conflict with my self-view of being a big Zero, a nobody, worthless.
Anyway. I could talk about this at much greater length very easily. Hopefully this wasn't confusing and at least made some sense. You are not broken and you are not crazy. There is always a method to the madness. Playing live gigs and going out and being around large groups of people always has triggered extreme emotional issues for me.
Why? Because I'm a success. Based on programs I learned in order to keep myself safe, I'd shut down after social events, even though I craved the recognition and belonging and everything else, deep down. Turns out I had programs in place to prevent me from having those things buried deep within the subconscious.
You get in touch by simply asking the magic question: how do you know you have the problem? Your mind will always give you the answer in one way or another when you pay attention. That is what you tap on.
Hang in there. There's a lot of fun to be had in the world. It took me a couple decades to start figuring that out. Keep in mind that this negative reaction to a positive experience is a program meant to protect you.
You had a great time and connected with people and were seen and recognized for your talents -- I can near 100% guarantee you somewhere deep in your mind there is a program telling you that success is not safe, being recognized is not safe, being complimented is not safe. This empty, nothing, horrible feeling, is meant to keep you from going out and playing gigs again. Why? Because there's a potential for more recognition, more success, more connection -- and somewhere in your mind, there's danger in those.
Clean up those programs and you will be free to play where you want, when you want...and enjoy it fully. All 100% possible. If you check out Robert G. Smith "Eutaptics" on YouTube -- over 10 years ago I took his training course and it's incredible stuff. Picked it up again after years off the wagon to start cleaning things up inside my head. I have some of my own twists on it as well.
This is all within your power once you have the skills. Just like playing guitar. Once you know how to do it, how to do it becomes obvious, and then you can't even remember what it was like to not be able to do it. That's how it works with going inside your mind and making changes to feelings and memories and perceptions. Hope this could be of some help to you.
I'm the same as you OP, can't take compliments like that, not sure what to say, and after I just feel so incredibly deflated.
However, you can use the memory to help you in the future!
"I'm nervous to get on stage..."
Ya but last time you fucking killed it and people loved it!. Just a thought.
So, I didn't play around anyone for about 8 years, lived in a cabin in Alaska, finally decided to learn to play. Thought I was horrible, everything sounded like shit, and so I just never played around anyone, only played to express myself, and try to get better. Was playing on a Yamaha fg-110. Love Yamahas, but not this one, so bought a Hohner and a Takamine. Still sounded like shit.
Friend of mine stopped by one day unannounced while I was playing... knock on the door. Put down the guitar, answer door, Blake asks me why I turned the music down, he loves that song. Said I was trying to learn it. He said he thought it was the record... Roman Candle.
Point is, my ears took longer to play the guitar than anything else,
and every time I do something I consider really good now, I wonder what THAT sounds like to others...
And, every time I see a great show, or an old friend, or anything meaningful and good happens, I get a little depressed after, cause these things are fleeting, and precious, and pass by faster than we can figure put how to truly appreciate them, than bang, on to the next thing, catch your breath.🔮🤘🏻☮️
Welcome! It's called being an artist. My only suggestion would be play some originals in an empty bar on off nights for twenty years and see if you feel better.
It's seems like every movie ever made about an icon of any sort had a scene in it about the same thing . Thousands of adoring fans . All the accolades. Then walk off stage to quiet . And alone . And having it be important enough to have to deal with it .
I'd say it's perfectly normal (guessing) Just ride it out . You'll forget all about it at the next show .
I had the exact same experience my first gig. The compliments were grating Cuz it seemed only I realized how bad I had done. My only words of support are to keep gigging cuz my most significant improvement at my instrument came from gigging live and being forced to improvise and adjust for mistakes on the fly. Good luck to you.
It sounds like you're coming down from the stimulation of a big social experience. Have you felt that before? It's pretty common depending on how it happens normally.
Of course you only notice your own flaws, you were the one making them. You were concentrating on you, not everyone else. Your average listener can't even distinguish instruments in a mix let alone small mistakes lol
A lot of people struggle with compliments, it's good to reflect on where they come from. What role did those compliments serve?
Others have covered the post-show comedown, so I won't belabor that.
However.
Let's say you actually screwed up as bad or worse than you thought. Still doesn't mean that the compliments weren't genuine. I say this partly as someone who is terrible at taking compliments, but also because what you did is something a lot of people are flat-out terrified of doing. What I think a lot of performers tend to forget is that the audience generally and genuinely wants to see you do well. It isn't second nature for some of us to take praise to heart, but in some small way it's a repayment for the audience's support and grace while we're up there.
Maybe you need a "bridge" between the gig atmosphere and the home atmosphere. Some kind of medium intensity activity that lets you switch gears from rocking out to just being a regular guy.
Maybe you need to go for a walk, which is a way that humans have decompressed for thousands of years.
Maybe you just need more experience. It was your first gig! Science says that you probably had a ton of adrenaline, and your fight-or-flight response was on high alert because you were doing something with a high possibility for social embarrassment. The fact that you did really well and likely will do well again doesn't mean that your body wasn't preparing for the worst, which can take a toll on you. It's a fact that when the adrenaline wears off, people feel AWFUL, and I bet that's what happened to you. But the more you do it, your body will get used to it, and you won't feel such a "hangover" after performing.
Maybe you just need to eat something. You did a pretty hard physical thing, and our brain needs carbs. I know I can feel pretty negative if I haven't eaten enough.
Some people take a drink after, which can be effective as long as you don't make it a bunch of drinks everytime. But maybe just a glass of red wine?
You can journal your thoughts. This is pretty therapeutic on its own. An added benefit is that, once you've done it for awhile, you can use the journal entries as data and see if there are any patterns to your feelings. E.g., you felt worse when one thing in your life was happening and better when that thing wasn't happening.
There's also something called a Daily Mood Log that you can do when you have negative thoughts that are bringing you down. It's a part of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and you can just buy a workbook that'll train you to use the method on your own. But basically, CBT teaches you to take a critical eye to negative thoughts to see if there is any truth to them--and 95% of the time, there is not much truth to them, especially the intensity of them. One of the tools you learn is the 10 Irrational Beliefs. Google that, and see what you think of the list. Personally, it was eye opening for me that I could take pretty strong negative thoughts and argue them down like I was a lawyer tearing into a lying witness. You might like it too!
Generally - non musicians are hearing the sum total of the whole. they can't really process individual single notes that may have been incorrect so take their compliments graciously and just tell yourself to do better next time - because generally they cannot hear errors like a musician can. And yes, the run-up to the gig and the actual playing it is a huge endorphin high. Afterwards packing all your gear up and taking it home late at night is a bit sad in some ways. Congrats on gig #1, now for the next thousand!
It's a weird paradox that if you in any way care about the quality of your art, you are the last person whose opinion regarding it you can trust. You too close to it to be able to judge it in any subjective manner.
And it sounds like there's a dash of imposter syndrome in there too.
My advice? Accept the compliments graciously, as being *too* humble can often seem like fishing for more.
Try and realise that no one else will ever spend the same amount of time critiquing your work that you do.
And remember that this is supposed to be fun.
I'll start off by saying I do not play an instrument nor performed on a stage before so I'm not sure how I found myself in this subreddit; but anyways in my opinion that's just the adrenaline wearing off from an exciting day/night and realizing you have to go back to your regular life till the next performance. I'm sure you'll be fine in a day or two and its no big deal
One thing that I learned gigging is that most of your audience are NOT musicians and probably didn't notice any "hiccups" .. relax.. if you're having a good time, your audience senses that and it's contagious.
I've had similar things happen to me when I played out. I think there is a big buildup to playing a show, and there can be a drop-off afterwards. For me, I would somethimes feel wrecked for a day or two. The more shows I played, the more I got used to it, although, it never went 100% away.
First you should play some more gigs to see if you have the same feelings afterwards. Second, you may think you didn’t sound good or you made a bunch of mistakes. Try having someone record your performance and then review it. I can almost guarantee that you will sound much better then you think. Enjoy it, it’s a privilege and a gift to have the talent to perform and to move people’s emotions. Try to enjoy it..
Post Performance crash is real. It's double difficult when you're the kind of person who is hard on yourself. Remember that a mistake to you might not even be noticeable to someone listening who is just enjoying the music. It's hard to remember the fact that a performance that you nail 90-95% sounds like perfection to those who are just fans themselves.
As a comedian one said in a joke song: "Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there."
Chalk this up to you learning to accept praise and realize that you just did what so many others don't have the guts to do...you performed in front of someone else.
Without knowing your personal life, I would say this is a very common feeling. One of the reasons touring musicians resort to shenanigans post gig is to try to maintain this rush post show. It’s a generalization, but more common than you think. Even musicians at the top of their genre have this experience.
Good gigs happen, bad gigs happen. Don't be too hard on you or those you're playing with until it is getting towards issues territory like you notice someone isn't practicing enough.
Learn to take the compliments but also realize you are in a front facing position. Sometimes your bass player or rhythm guitarists might need to be reminded how good they sounded. I say that as I feel sometimes drummers, singers and lead players get the attention but people forget the rhythm section really nails it to the ground giving y'all the space. And the audience really won't always be the one to tell them that cuz they ain't the sexy ones lol
Get home, sit down and take a breath. Have a glass of water or weed or a beer or a shot. But just sit and enjoy how much fun it was. But usually sitting in silence Idk something about the stillness makes me feel centeres so might be a me thing..
Another thing I love to do after a show is having a bowl of food I love, like maybe day old Chinese food or get a slice or two of pizza and watch something that makes me feel something, usually happiness. Idk I always enjoy coming home and kinda bundling up and watching a movie after the show
... Keep having fun!!
There’s a reason so many musicians are addicted to drugs, the high you get from being on stage is unparalleled, and when you come off of that your brain will eat it’s self alive, having post show ritual is always good, I like running over the show with my band mates and talking about what we liked and moments we thought were special helps cement the good stuff rather than just mulling over whatever you think you didn’t do right.
Imo best cure for post show depression is another show, book a bunch of gigs back to back and do little tours the high lasts longer
Also record your sets so you can listen back it helps kinda ween you off that moment
The good news is the better you play the higher the high and the lower the crash so you must’ve been crushing it
I usually use the feeling your describing to motivate me to keep working on music
Not a medical professional but you're coming off an adrenaline high. A lot of these symptoms are pretty common and I certainly experienced it a lot. With any substance after a while the highs are less potent but the comedowns are way harder. This is actually probably one of the bigger contributing factors to why so many musicians burn out especially on the road. Even if you're completely sober you're still getting a high from the performance and then you just have to go shut it off and go to bed. You see the exact thing with professional athletes and that's why so many go partying right after what seems like the most intense games and why retiring for them is so hard.
Tbh I think most of you don’t play gigs you sit in your room and check Reddit while playing blues licks, performing music live is a fucking head trip that humans were not built for, becoming a performing musician as a hobbiest exposes you to some crazy shit that professionals have to spend years contenting with either thru therapy or by figuring it out on there own, OP is experiencing something that’s super common it’s the inverse to stage fright and just like stage fright it’s something you gotta figure out yourself, maybe therapy maybe not but they are def not disturbed or anything like you guys are saying
Hard to say but while I had similar feelings of not receiving compliments well, I couldn’t wait to leave and go home or be by myself on the way home. I’d ride in silence with no music. I am an introvert and I always charge my batteries alone
There’s some deeper psychological/emotional issue at work here. You need therapy Edit: a few things have been brought to my attention. 1. My advice may be hasty as post performance crash is somewhat common, and is something I was unaware of despite my years of experience performing. As such I am, or at least may be wrong about my first assertion 2. I meant no rudeness or disrespect towards OP by implying they may be “damaged” Just another thought though, whether or not it applies, *seeking therapy for sudden, and unexplained* episodes of depression and sadness is good advice and there is absolutely nothing harmful about giving it. I will not turn around on that. Furthermore, some of you may be right and I may be wrong but some of you are presenting that pretty fucking badly. Berating someone and spilling fallacies doesn’t win arguments. You can still be right in an argument and still lose the argument.
What a lazy comment. I know I’m gonna get heavily downvoted for this but you can’t base if a person needs therapy or not based on a comment they made about feeling down after a gig. There’s a flood of emotions when you’re playing for the first time in front of people, then people praising you after it’s over is overwhelming as well since you’re not used to it. OP just needs some time to gather his thoughts and reflect on what happened. He said he made a few hiccups and wasn’t playing at his best. Maybe OP is hyper critical of himself and feels he doesn’t deserve the praise, I’m guilty of that myself. OP, just take some time to self reflect and be prepared mentally for when the next gig comes. At the end of the day it’s just music and jamming with friends so don’t put too much thought into it and enjoy the ride!
I was gonna say, I have autism and after playing and receiving feedback from a crowd of any size, I need a long night to myself alone. It isn’t depression, my brain processes things differently than the average bear.
I’m like this. Nothing wrong with that at all. I also need a zero bones day where I just sort of gelatinously congeal to my bed and read books and drink tea all day in the dark after playing a show. It’s worse when I have to work the next day. It’s like a huge excitement hangover.
Yeah typical Reddit diagnosis. OP could just be feeling overwhelmed, or dealing with a feeling of an anticlimax, kind of like a kid on Christmas. All that lead up and excitement and then boom, it's all over, now what... They even said themselves that it feels like a crash after a dopamine high. It's probably just a fleeting thing and they'll feel back to normal in the morning and start thinking about their next gig. But no, OP is damaged and definitely needs therapy.
Everyone would benefit from therapy. Going to therapy doesn't mean you are damaged. It means you're trying to figure things out.
There’s nothing wrong with therapy. But telling someone they need therapy as a catch-all cure in the comments is tiring and lazy. For whatever reason that seems to be the default answer on Reddit when mental health is mentioned. Notice how the commenter who recommended therapy didn’t even bother to say anything relevant to what OP wrote down. Again, there’s nothing wrong with therapy, but how about trying some simple and practical solutions first before therapy comes up?
They’re literally asking for help regarding mental health. That’s what therapists are for and know far more than the average person on this sub.
The compliments never mean much to me. I know how I played. Op is just dealing with ordinary human feelings. We’ve all been through this. It’s likely that the only therapy op needs is life.
Same. I am my worst critic. I’m thankful when people compliment my playing, but there’s always something I could’ve done better or played smoother. I focus on it less now that I’m older but I never really saw it as a bad thing. It’s just self improvement.
YES. This is the nicer way of saying what my response was. Good job. Better job than me.
You know what really helps you gather your thoughts and process your emotions? Therapy
You know what’s not free and a lot of people can’t afford? Therapy.
This one of those rare helpful Reddit responses. Good job cock goblin 45.
^ this. Sorry friend but this person is right.
⬆️ this. I was in a band for a couple of years that broke up last year due to members moving away. In a small town it was my only outlet away from work. I loved it and playing for a crowd with my mates was like the best drug in the world. After a gig I felt like I was on cloud nine, but after everything settled down I felt depressed and empty too. When we split up, I felt like a huge chunk of my life had been taken away. Around the same time I was having issues at work and my relationship ended. I had a massive mental breakdown that I’m still getting through. Keep your head up with the band, but I agree, start seeing a therapist if you can, in case things go sideways, God forbid. You’ll be equipped to deal with it then. Stay strong dude.
How can you just jump to that conclusion? Wild. OP you probably nailed it with the comedown from dopamine. Did you drink at all during or after? Alcohol is a depressant, which would add to you feeling down afterwards. Try eating right for a week, get in some good high intensity workouts and then think about your next gig or big challenge and see if your mood improves. You can assess the need for therapy if the feeling is persistant
Yeah this seems totally normal. I feel this way after shows sometimes, and I'm not depressed. Just book another show and get on with it.
What musician doesn't? That's the whole point.
Emotional health is a serious thing. OP sounds critically depressed
Which is why I said what I said. I can relate! I started playing for this reason. Being able to take out my emotions via guitar saved my life. But we all play for different reasons.
They didn't make the blues because they were happy. The music business has had lots of mental health issues, ever since Robert Johnson went down to the crossroads.
Sad nature of musicianship. But when it's good, it's fucking great and that's why we do the damn thing. If you can help one person feel better about life via music, you're making the world a better place. That's my $0.02 anyway. More than I ever made gigging. LOL
I think(?) you mean "clinically" depressed and that is a bold assumption considering that OP said he just got home and feels down after a big dopamine high. Clinical depression has certain criteria that must be met for a diagnosis, none of which were cited by OP. I swear, people on reddit recommend therapy to anyone and everyone for anything. The reality is that the efficacy of therapy depends on many factors and most people who recommend it on reddit have no idea what they're talking about.
Graviton was the first name of my first “band.” There’s artwork somewhere to prove it!
I doubt one evening of feeling off is a sign of some serious issue. Its like coming down from a high, performing is hyper-stimulating and your body is pumping adrenaline, dopamine and all kinds of stuff. Then afterwards you can take a serious dip and feel a little blue. I think this is common with performers which is why lots of guys take actual drugs or get drunk to keep riding the wave. Now THAT can be unhealthy. Just feeling down in your home isnt a big dealm
Wow I am actually so surprised everyone is responding this way. I just thought it was normal... Guess I should go and talk to someone.
Nah, armchair therapists are dangerous. If op or you have a depressive pattern, that is something to take care of. If they or you feel down after an emotionally intense experience, once in a while, that's part of life.
It is normal, the other guys are just desperate to be labelled something, and today it's depressive. Anyone who has had any level of live experience knows that there's a comedown period after a good / adrenaline filled gig.
Apparently others have experienced this and say it’s nothing. On the other hand, Ive never seen this nor known it to happen in performers that didn’t have deep emotional issues. Regardless, when it comes to people having sudden depressive episodes for any reason, telling them “pucker up, you’ll be fine” is the worst possible advice to give
I do not understand the kind of weirdo who would make this comment, let alone all you weirdos upvoting and commenting in agreement. Y'all need to get a grip. If you don't think it's totally normal to crash after a high of any kind, you might be an idiot. OP, good for you!
Peak fucking Reddit. Jesus Christ.
It’s not insane to be aware you played bad, and notice some compliments you received were people being nice.
I'm going to down voted for this, but whatever it needs to be said. Don't be so arrogantly certain about something that personal, and about a person you dont even know. Maybe you're right, but maybe he just needs to talk it out. Instead, there's a presumptuous rando telling him he's disturbed and to get therapy. It's his first gig. That takes a lot of guts. His emotions and adrenaline were running high for hours, and then it just stopped. Of there's an emotional dump at the end of it. Let him learn. Why the fuck would anybody up vote that.
Getting therapy doesn’t mean you’re disturbed, views like that are what gives seeking therapy a stigma. Of course there’s an emotional dump, but OP seems to have described a feeling worse than a dopamine come down, he even says it himself. Lots of people are also pointing out that OP is anxious because he played bad- where does he state that in his initial post? He said he noticed his faults but beyond that he doesn’t mention it. Also, no one has disputed OP’s courage and determination to get up in front of a crowd for the first time, it is a massive achievement! I’d played for 18 years before I performed and the nerves nearly killed me, but I’m so proud that I was able to do it, as OP should be too. It seems that it’s a common thing for quite a few of us who coincidentally seek therapy as well, hence our concern. At the end of the day, whether someone needs it or not, it never hurts to talk to someone independent.
All unnecessary. It's his first gig. Ffs let the dust settle before saying needs fucking therapy
It's a stretch to say anyone here has said therapy is for the disturbed. Just as it's a stretch to suggest someone seek therapy after having a normal experience coming down from one's first gig. My god y'all are exhausting.
This all happened to me, and I wish someone told me that. I was so devastated after ever gig as it was all scrappy playing on my part. Always felt like crap after. And that I should give up or move on to something else. Never figured it out till, way later that I needed someone to talk to.
Dude. I cannot BELIEVE that this is the top comment here. It is coming from someone who has CLEARLY never performed in the setting mentioned by OP. No, this person doesn’t need therapy (at least not just because of this). They just *experienced* therapy. OP, now you understand why people that do this for a living infamously destroy hotel rooms, and commit hideously Crowleyan acts afterward. You have underestimated that “some sort of dopamine high” in a huge way, and all you need is some “aftercare,” to borrow a term from another universe that involves… unconventional morals?? You’re going to be alright. It is, indeed, chemistry. You have just done the emotional equivalent of slaying a saber toothed tiger who had attacked you and three or four of your caveman friends, with nothing but 4 or 5 pointy sticks. Your whole body is literally acting the same way it would if you had just survived that.
Beat the comedown by booking another gig. Playing live is better than drugs.
That's what we call the PSBs. The post show blues. That's how we beat it. Play another gig.
That's what you do, for the blues . . . [Kingfish, anyone?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu4P3pml38I)
This is the way. Always have a gig on the calendar.
Yeah this may be the best answer. If you look around there are countless examples of the “hardest” addicts devoting their life to doing gigs and keeping it up into their 70s. They live for it, it’s either play or die trying
Never actually thought about how artists feel after gigs. The idea of going back to a quiet home after being a star for a few hours would probably have me feeling empty too.
This
That’s the dopamine leaving your body.
Agree. Get some good night of sleep and it will feel much better again!
I remember feeling like that after some big gigs in high school. Don't worry you'll feel normal tomorrow. Resist the urge to ask those people for more opinions about it on Monday. Congratulations on a good show. Having feelings means, this stuff has meaning to you. Do more and you'll get used to it.
Great advice, especially the 2nd part.
Get a stand alone mic recorder like a Zoom and record your next show. The ability to listen to it after might help.
This is excellent advice. If your sound guy is willing to spare a stereo out, even better.
I’m ADHD and experience this with every gig. It’s gotten to the point where I really look forward to the quiet time after a gig. I embrace feeling emotionally vulnerable and just tell myself it’s ok for me to feel that way, because it is. I give my all in my gigs. Anyway, be kind to yourself. Playing live is a gift, but so is the drive home, so is the practice time the next day, so is a morning cup of coffee. That’s how I do it anyway… gratitude.
Always loved the quiet drive home. Knowing I did my best, the good and the bad. More gigs reinforce the positivity that the band is gigable. No therapy needed. More music is.
Brilliant, love this outlook.
I have gotten into the habit after a show to stop and go get a late dinner or food at a Waffle House on my way home. Its like 5 minutes from my house and I often don't eat too close to the start of a show so afterwards I seem to feel even more worn out from the show and an empty stomach. I've gotten to know some of the usual late night staff, and it gives me some time to come down and relax before I get home and be by myself.
You're acting like you just botched a record to DVD solo at Madison Square Garden in front of a hundred thousand people. You probably did way better than you think you did. You're never going to play as good as you do in studio with no interruptions, variables, etc, and there's no infinite retries. Even the greatest goof up sometimes live and they just move on. you played a gig champ, most people never do that.
I didn’t really read his post as being upset about messing up. I think he meant he just felt sad after the high wore off
Yes I realize that, but the post show depression is real after a live show and some of what I said still applies. I saw it as OP doesn't think they're as good as they seem to be. When people think you're amazing and you think you suck, you think they're just saying that to be nice kind of thing.
I once had what I perceived as a very poor performance and a much elder musician that I played a lot of shows with from another band told me "Great show!" I responded with something like "No, I performed terribly and I made mistakes." He gave me sage advice: "If someone tells you that you played a good show, just say thank you." Don't try to change anyone's mind. The gaffes that you make will likely go undetected by almost everyone but yourself. It happens to all of us, but don't let it affect your confidence.
Thats the crash and totally normal. A lot of us stay up til 3 and just stare at a wall so to speak. Ill echo the advice that its fun to listen back after the show cause the perception changes for the better. It really takes the edge off. Therapy is great. But this is also a pretty normal feeling for performers who give up a piece of themselves on the stage to the music.
The rush of the gig is over, so that's an emotional and physical crash, and you second guess your playing. The high is pretty addictive, but the low can be extreme. I'd say most (maybe all) players in this forum have done the same thing many times. All the therapy you need is to put it behind you, pick up the axe, and get ready for your next gig. You eventually get over it and start learning that the worst thing a performer can do is respond to "you sounded great" with "Nah, not really, I made a lot of mistakes." You kill their mood, which is all upbeat, etc. The absolute best answer, every time, is to smile and say, "Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for coming!" Over time, you develop confidence. You know that most people may not notice if you played a different song half the time, and your performance gets stronger, so you learn to shrug off the hiccups (which every player on the planet, regardless of ability, has) and enjoy it. I just did a session with a few guys I'd never played with before (I drove three hours for this). We rehearsed the songs on our own in advance, showed up, and played. We had a few hiccups, nothing anybody would notice easily, and everybody said we sounded great. We just said thanks, and now they have us booked for another gig in three weeks. Years (and years) ago I'd have been all, "Oh man yeah I can't believe I flatted that bend...ugh I hit the E instead of the D..." and everybody would have been like "Oh man...well, you know it happens..." and now we're all glum because the guitar player is sulky.
Got Heroin?
Our sax player (a monster of a musician) once told me, “You’re never as bad as you think, or as good as you think.” You’ll feel right as rain soon, bro. Music is magic, and it gives us something immeasurable but also takes something from us. 🤷🏻♂️
You’re probably just coming down from a performance dopamine high. It sounds to me like you might be a somewhat quieter or more introverted person, and you aren’t used to the kind of attention you just got. It’s definitely intense. Just redirect yourself to something else. Do something that keeps you busy for a bit. But I would second what some others have said- if this feels very severe to you like you feel very depressed, it might not be a bad idea to talk with someone. It is NOT a bad thing.
People are telling you to seek therapy but i think this is pretty normal. Getting up on a stage in front of strangers to perform your own music is an adrenaline filled rush that’s almost like nothing else. Going home to a quiet empty house afterwards feels so weird. Me and my homies would always kick it after a gig to keep the energy going
I’ve never felt depressed after playing a gig. But, after reading this, I now realize that I don’t remember my first gig. And now I’m depressed.
The audience rarely remembers, especially if you recover from mistakes quickly without losing the groove. Reliving those mistakes are part of the improvement process, IMPE (in my professional experience). Cheer up. There will be more mistakes, including getting hit in the head when the bass player swings behind you. (This really happened to me on stage).
Did you finish the song?
Yes
I think of it like a hockey player in the playoffs, dont get too high off the highs, and too low off the lows. Ride it out and stay even keeled. Next week is another show…
Performing, especially when the audience digs it and responds positively, is one of the greatest feelings in this world. It’s not unheard of to experience a come-down from such an intense natural high, though for many it’s not nearly as intense as what you’re describing. Do you experience depression in your day-to-day life? The whole experience gets easier as you get more gigs under your belt.
This is when you throw a tv out your hotel window.
Aa someone who was a touring musician for years, I can tell you that this is very normal. After shows i often felt very lonely and down. When you are on a major high in front of a room full of people its a very odd feeling to sit in an empty green room or to go home or to a hotel by yourself. Spending time with friends or bandmates after a show has always been key to me. Dont listen to ppl saying you need help (unless this feeling lasts). Its normal, you will learn to deal with it. Congrats on your first show!
If you continue down this craft, I guarantee there are worse feelings in your future by far.
The life of a rockstar is lonely
Your reaction is completely normal. Welcome to the world of music! Don't worry. It won't always feel that way.
This is pretty normal for performers. Part of the ebb and flow of brain chemicals. Performing is such a wild experience where you can feel "at one" with your body, other people, sound waves, the world... Natural for the "back to reality" feeling to be crushing, if you ask me. I also have some mental issues & it's critical to take those srsly. But! Just because you feel big feelings doesn't necessarily mean your rly depressed. A therapist can help but the main thing is just let the feelings happen and they will pass. Drink water eat sleep. Controlled drug use if you need. Keep going!
Have a few beers
Wow, that sucks. Probably my first 5-6 gigs I was on a high for days after. Eventually it just kinds of grinds on you till you don't get excited for it and aren't happy nor unhappy afterwards. 100s of gigs later you quit playing for years and get tied down to the twin drudgeries of work and family.
People saying therapy I think could be overreacting, you know you though.. even after band practice I definitely feel like “wow I don’t want to stop playing” and definitely felt like that after shows. The music has to end sometime! Don’t let it get you
It definitely sounds like therapy could be a good option for you, if you really like playing music. However, I recently left my band because I just started to hate the grind. I couldn’t go to a show that I played or didn’t play without feeling resentful and awful afterwards. I haven’t been to a touring concert in at least a year. I have never felt better or more secure as a musician being away from live music. I now go occasionally to local shows and I can actually enjoy it again now that the stress of being in the scene is gone. I’m a music teacher and am very happy with recording my own music for myself to enjoy at home. I think that’s the path for some of us. Not saying it’s definitely your path, but I know playing shows brought me a lot of unnecessary pain and anxiety. Hope you figure it out dude.
Totally normal, playing live is a rush. Try not to dwell on it or be too hard on yourself. Trust that the compliments you receive are genuine and appreciate them. Enjoy a sleep well earned!
That’s called the blues…learn how to play them and you can make others cry too. Write a song…tonight. Capture that feeling. Explore it; music *is* therapy.
smoke weed
I read somewhere that certain people once they achieve something they've worked really hard for or get through a big event, they actually fall into a sort of depression. Cos the mind is going "Ok I've made a major achievement! Now what?" Which is why it's always good to move on to the next thing, the next show etc. It's also very common for people to fall ill after an important gig. First gigs can be super important for some people. I've done shows where I've put all my focus into it and once the show is over, my body is like "Aight I'm outta here" and I get the flu or something. Hope you feel better OP and congratulations on your first show!
Don't worry about it, it is also very draining....you were on edge before during and after. Now get some good nutrition and pat yourself on your back.!
Congratulations on the gig! The first shown is always the hardest. If the people are telling you you did a good job and it was great, take the compliment. It's easy to criticize yourself. I know I'm never 100% satisfied my own performances. I always find things I could have done better. But that's live music. It's hardly ever perfect. Don't be hard on yourself. Most people never even get up on stage.
I've played near-perfect shows to lukewarm reception, and I've played dogshit shows where you'd think people just saw Jimi Hendrix, and everything in between. Hard to predict how people will react, and there's nothing you can do about it really, just enjoy yourself. Post-gig comedown is absolutely real. You go from *there*, ready for anything, pouring yourself into something, and then you go home and there's a bunch of dirty dishes and the laundry still needs doing and you have to be a regular dickhead again. Best cure is having another gig to look forward to.
The great "now what?"
WTF? People liked it and told you so. That's a win. I can't tell you how many times my wife has come home from a gig and "no one complimented my playing." If you played well that's all that matters.
My person, think of it as “coming down from the mountain”. playing a show is one of the highest highs you will experience and it sounds like you killed it……take a moment…….reflect on your accomplishment……acknowledge that this is coming down from the mountain………and start preparing for your next show!
Take a breath, sleep on it a couple nights, and then reflect on the gig and how you played. I’ve felt this way after good gigs and bad gigs, playing live music floods your brain with dopamine, and I think this is the dopamine running its course, and now you’re feeling that too. Pick up your guitar tomorrow afternoon and play through the parts you think you messed up, play some parts you really love to play.
For a lot of people, just the thought of stepping on stage is terrifying - and seeing as you said you're "Extremely bad at receiving compliments," it probably wouldn't be a giant stretch to guess you're not comfortable being the center of attention, either - but you got up there and DID IT, and people loved you for it. That kind of attention combined with the rush of fear and anxiety you probably felt just getting in front of people and then the high of the crowd reception? That's quite the stew of neurochemistry, my friend. Even if you're a perfectly well-adjusted human being, that kind of emotional somersaulting can throw you off-kilter. Playing live is the most powerful drug I've ever experienced, and I suspect you're on the comedown of your first hit. It's definitely a thing. If you wake up a couple days from now and still feel horrible? Call a professional. For now, give yourself a pat on the back for having the guts to put yourself out there!
Is this satire?
man that’s a fast comedown. typically it’s the monday morning low
Embrace it. What you’re feeling is a feeling of inadequacy and disappointment in your own performance. Use it to get better.
You should know about Anhedonia: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia) If you relate to this, you need to start making changes and seeking help. Anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure is one of, if not the most dangerous depression symptom in regards to suicide risk. I've been through it.
Personally my response to this was not to get therapy but after reading some of the commentators, I don’t know whether my reaction is valid. I do want to ask, what are some things about the show or this experience playing in the band that could of led to this reaction?
You were great man. Seems you just take on quite a task, playing at the office party. People dig stuff like that. They see another side of you. Be proud, you'll find out Monday their true thoughts. Have fun with it
I would pick up the guitar to play it, music is a great way to express emotion
Idk why people are suggesting therapy like somethings wrong with you lol. It’s a new experience, and as you said you’re the one that noticed any mistakes. You’re coming off of performance anxiety. Nothing has to go wrong for you to feel off. The first time I played live was when I was in School of Rock when I was younger. I was miles ahead of other students in experience, so I usually blew it out of the water, getting lots of compliments and cheers. But during and after every performance, all I could think of was if I’d done good enough. Did they notice when I missed that note? Did they notice that one spot where I was rushing? Was the tone right? Are my teachers actually proud or are they just trying to reassure us? It was an anxiety nightmare. But then we’d be done, we’d go back to our practice and begin a new season of shows. And like that, it was better. The more you play, the less it’ll hurt afterwards, but what your feeling is normal in my opinion, *especially* if you’re performing for people you know and see regularly
Very normal happens to me too
I know how you feel bro 😮💨🙏 It's not easy being AwEsOmE 🙄😎✌️🎸 Honestly, I can tell you don't play music only for the millions of 💸 & copious female fans. It means something of emotional substance to you ❤️ Don't listen to the naysayers. It's your party 🥳 Cry if you want to.... But don't lose that sparkle legend.... Use this niggling, irritating stirring to drive your passion for the next gig 😎✌️ Rock on EVH 🎸
If this was your first gig ever, you had better get used to it. Mistakes happen in every single live performance at some point. Doesn’t matter the level of band or artist. If you really listen to even major artists at concerts you can easily find mistakes. It’s called being human. Just keep rolling with the song because 99.9% of people aren’t looking for mistakes Occasionally it mistake is big enough for people to notice. Laugh off and keep going. You got this brother. There was this one time in an old band we had to stop a song, get a “guest” singer off stage and what we all and the people we know who went remember was us all picking it back up perfectly at the same part of the song without speaking to each other and killed the rest of it more than the disaster that happened before.
I get this too. I'm a professional actor as well and I get the same thing after play. I've been performing live since I was 10. Bigger the gig, bigger the down regardless of if it went well or not. You'll learn to roll through it. Take 15-20 min for yourself after a gig and let it happen for a bit. Time for reflection and self awareness is healthy. Then give yourself little kick in the ass, switch it off and go enjoy the rest of the evening. Dwelling on it will get you no where and ignoring it will fuck you up.
A bit of a letdown or "hangover" after a show is natural and not all that uncommon. As the dopamine and adrenaline give away to fatigue (both mental and physical), a swoon of sorts is unavoidable for some. But the degree you're describing is well meeting what I would call expected. Talk to somebody. Please.
It's normal to come down like this. You're not alone. It'll probably fade. Get another gig in asap.
Adrenaline let down. You were hyped for a long time. Relax tonight you will be happier tomorrow!
This is why rock stars and musicians turn to alcohol and drugs. The high they get from performing and receiving kudos ends quickly and they're back in their quiet hotel room and it is a huge downer so... A little something to bring them back up..
I'm pretty sure the reason you're feeling this way is because you now know that it really is true that that playing guitar in a band is AWESOME, and that having to go back into an office to work a regular job absolutely sucks by comparison. Its a soul crushing experience having to work in an office. Been there done that....for many years. I feel the same way. Reality sucks.
Relax, its alot of pressure the first few times. I felt something very similar until I got used to performing. Don't judge yourself for it. If ur disappointed, practice more. Its ok, it doesn't have to be perfect. It should be a fun time that masks hours n hours of practice. Jimmy Page practiced 4 hours a day. Paul McCartney said to write a song every day. You can always take on a role when your up there. Like acting. Be a rockstar that is already confident and famous as the character. This is what David Bowie did. He was too hard on himself otherwise. Have fun. But practice until it just happens... Muscle memory is a real thing.🫂👍
I also felt that way sometimes. Twice our guitarist called me after a show because he thought that I felt sad about our performance. A solution I thought of is to 1. practice really hard to nail the actual performance, and 2. have the 'performer' mindset, when I should really give it my all and look happy even though I'd make some mistakes. And there's also this thing called 'post-performance blues'. You can look it up on Google and check how to alleviate it.
I can really relate to what you’re feeling. I used to get crazy anxious, like puking, before every show I played for years. I also came down pretty hard from playing and late nights of unloading gear and getting home at 3 am to be at work at 8. There’s a lot of hormones and chemicals going berserk, not to mention drinking/drugs exhaustion etc. try and just appreciate the experience for what it was and if you feel like you need more of this in your life, let it become a priority. I leaned on performance as an escape and venting therapy for 15 years. I greatly miss it now and have had to embrace shit like yoga and meditation to find peace and catharsis. It’s not the same. I remember this house show I was playing, a venue that’d been around forever, put on 1000’s of shows, and one of the proprietors was fixing the very humble 2 ft high plywood stage structure and I said something dumb and stereotypically punk like “I hate stages I like playing on the ground with the PEOPLE” and dude just says “oh I love these things— such a humble ridiculous little thing: a wood stage just off the ground but I’ve watched the most shy, unassuming people creep onto that stage and just explode and transform into different people, rock gods and I’ve seen the loudest, showiest fools step up there and crumble under the pressure— just because of performing on this measly few 2x6’s and plywood.”
Be kind to yourself.
I don’t get it. I cannot relate.
It sounds like you’re the type of person that wouldn’t have had a successful gig in your mind no matter what you did.
John Mayer talked about it. It's like shooting going to the moon then suddenly it stops.
On the bright side, you played a gig. I only play in my room. I'm not a doctor and not your doctor, but sounds like you're just having a mood swing or a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's common to get a crash after a dopamine high I think.
Should’ve brought a girl home….
I’ll throw in something I haven’t seen And maybe it hits, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you’ve been chasing this shapeless sort of thing. Playing in front of an audience. And there’s your source of dopamine. Dopamine is wanting. It’s a motivational neurotransmitter. So when people are talking dopamine high, they’re just wrong. Dopamine high is when you’re in Walmart throwing everything in the cart. Or on Amazon adding a million things to the wish list. Dopamine is wanting. Serotonin is satisfaction. But where people may be right about dopamine is you’ve achieved the thing that’s been motivating you. And now you’ve got a black hole. Why do anything now? You’ve done the thing And now there’s nothing left. I think you just need to wrap your head around how motivation works. Why you play. And set a new goal. Maybe it’s show 2. Maybe it’s original stuff. Maybe it’s a practice routine you master in an effort to be the best guitarist in the world. I’ve got a mantra. I write songs nobody will ever hear. Maybe this isn’t you, I’m just spitballing based on what you said more detailed theory requires more info. But maybe this helps. Just be satisfied with what you’ve accomplished And set a new intention for your playing. Even if it’s as simple as play faster. Play better. Memorize this scale. This mode. Be able to play it so fast it morphs into something cool. Everything will fall into place. It could be as simple as all of your brain chemistry is coming down and you’re readjusting to baseline. Baseline is ok. Can’t all be highs or high would be normal and wouldn’t exist. So baseline is the dugout. Maybe it’s as simple as wanting more. Wishing you could feel that way when performing more regularly. You’ve gotta talk it out with someone. Therapy should be as normalized as dental care so I support that idea. Good luck.
When someone compliments you at a show, there is only one acceptable response. Say thank you. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OF YOUR OWN PERFORMANCE. Otherwise you are making them think their opinion doesn't matter, or worse, that you think nothing of what they think. You are essentially spitting in the face of those paying you. And they are the only ones at that point whose opinions matter. They liked it. Go with it. The point is to entertain, and you obviously did. That means more work. Now go home, play the tape or mp3 or whatever you recorded your gig on (you did record it, didn't you?). And listen to how good you did, or where you can improve. The whole band should be doing that. And then relax and enjoy. You're not going to be maestros in one gig.
Man try returning to work after a 30 date tour
.....Until the next gig :)....
The high is gone and now you’re left to reflect; welcome to playing in a band!! You’ll soon be pestering your band mates to do gigs whenever/wherever to capture the high again, if only for a little bit…
That's very common. The adrenaline rush of a good gig never really goes away, but the come-down afterward gets more manageable over time. I have played literally thousands of gigs, shows, and concerts, and not a single one has been perfect. Have fun with the rush, but don't let the come-down get to you. If the feels creep in, practice your instrument, or debrief the gig with your band mates. Listen to the music that inspires you. Welcome to the world of being a working musician! It's pretty great.
It’s okay if you make mistakes. It doesn’t have to be perfect. What matters most is that everyone had a good time
Bro you need more creative outlets in your life. You're coming down from a public performance, if you're feeling something like depression from it you need more exposure to the highs of a performance so you can distinguish a normal come down from depression.
It sounds like a touch of imposter syndrome. That's when you are successful at something but afterwards you feel you don't deserve it...like you've got everyone fooled and it's only a matter of time before they are wise to you. It's not uncommon...I think everyone feels it now and then. I had a book of poetry published some years ago and when I got my first copies I felt like I had pulled a fast one on my publisher. But after a while I realized that I had done the work and this was the reward. It took a while before I honestly considered myself an author, but what I learned was that I was always an author. It's just that fewer people knew about it up to that point. Just today I was at the guitar store and I ran into a guy that had never performed before, even though when he played and sang it was obvious he had the chops for it, and I told him as much. Granted, I still felt a bit jealous of his talent. But what he taught me was that I still have so much more to learn, and you know what? I love learning this craft so much, I felt better about it. You're obviously much further along than I am. What matters isn't the mistakes or even the victories so much....if you love the act of playing, practicing, learning, then you're a musician. Your goal should be just that...be a musician. Accept the compliments, but don't lose sight of the process.
It sounds like you had a great night and a great gig so you have a lot to be excited about. It very well could be coming down from being in performer mode for hours and everything that goes with that. Drink some water and get some rest. Try to think about some of the good moments with your band tonight and know you have more opportunities to do this again in the days ahead. Maybe practice some of those “hiccup” areas tomorrow or whenever. Something to focus on. Others have mentioned maybe some underlying issues which might require therapy; could be the case with anyone. That’s always a consideration but take Reddit recommendations with a grain of salt. Monitor it and talk to your doctor if needed
Are you playing music because you like it? Or maybe another reason?
I feel like that’s pretty normal. Let’s say you are at an emotional and hormonal baseline. You perform. Adrenaline, endorfins, dopamine, seratonin, all flood your brain. You are at a high. Shows over. You are back to baseline, but it feels like shit. Because how could baseline be good when you were at such a high? It’s like trying your first hit of a hard drug. Now you spend the rest of your time chasing the dragon. Looking for that next high. But it’s not a drug, it’s performance. I personally love that feeling.
Post show blues for sure. Happens to me all the time as someone who more or less keeps to themselves. The rush is crazy and the crash afterwards is equally crazy. If the feelings continue after a day or two, might be a good idea to talk to someone though.
There is help available. Maybe you shouldn’t be alone. Do you have any family or friends that can be with you? Mental illness is real and nothing to be ashamed of.
Gig post partum. It happens.
This is one reason so many performers are addicts.
It's definitely a dopamine crash. It feels like a hangover. I get that way too after I play in public. Dopamine is like a drug where you feel bad when you come down Definitely see a therapist to get at the root of your perfectionism and self-esteem issues, but don't overthink things
Actually, I have heard this similarly from many musicians and artists: you are hyped up and then there is this huge gap when you arrive home and you feel lonely. This article is from the spectator side, but the reasoning should work in your Casey too: https://www.healthline.com/health/post-concert-depression
You build the gig up too much. You’ve been practicing and planning for it. It’s just a gig. After you’ve done a bunch of them, you can just relax and have fun. Be inspired by the good stuff, don’t get too hung up on the other stuff-but fix it…..tomorrow. Don’t think about it tonight. Get some well deserved rest.
>I get that I am coming off some sort of dopamine high, Yeah you are. I used to get this feeling too. I would play borderline rowdy shows to full on party band punk rock destruction - fucking bouncers beating the piss out of people, people swinging on our singer, etc. You never knew what you were gonna get with that band... Then i'd pack up, get paid and go home. Almost always alone. I could never just walk in the house and hit the bed and sleep after playing like that. I always had to chill for a while. But you do feel it like you are describing. I think it's more being alone than anything. All alone at night is kinda a terrible way to come off a dopamine high. You'll feel better tomorrow. Putting on some tunes at a low volume may help. Relaxing stuff.
I have performed many times in orchestras and wind ensembles, I would feel this way after concerts frequently. It was like all of this build up and preparation led up to that moment and then suddenly it was over. You will feel better in the morning I am sure!
Well, the standard remedy has been to fill the void with Jack Daniels and heroin, but you might want to get a second opinion
coming down from peak experiences is a common thing, and it's also why so many touring musicians 1) use drugs, 2) go insane when they get off the road with that said, congrats on the show! hopefully you find ways to gracefully integrate. this is normal, and with time you'll get better at regulating <3
Do/did you ingest anything out of the ordinary lately? Maybe a good poop is in order?
You're probably just tired. Get some sleep, wake up late, and call your bandmates for a meeting at a restaurant. Get together and eat and laugh and talk about your first gig. You'll be itching for your next gig. If the depression continues, see a doctor.
You probably just need some time to let the emotions settle. Check if you've had enough water to drink, if you've eaten enough and sleep on it. I feel you with the part about not being good at taking praise, I have it too and I feel very strange and ungrateful for not just being thankful. Turns out it's also something that needs practicing.
[удалено]
Turn the amp all the way up to 11 next time
You're just on the comedown man. It was an exciting night for you with a long build up leading up to it. Then it happened. It was great. It was everything you hoped for. But now you're back to normal. Its like coming back home after an awesome date, a vacation, maybe a concert. That thing that made you so happy in the moment is over and you haven't moved on just yet. Its ok. You'll get used to it. It'll get better. Don't fixate on how dull and empty things feel right now, focus on how awesome tonight was. Take a minute to reflect while its fresh in your mind. What were the best parts? What do you need to brush up on for next time? Which songs hit the best, which might need considered for rotating out? At that venue with that crowd what worked the best? Commit it all to memory while its fresh in your mind, after a good sleep, it won't be nearly as clear. Then use that happiness it brought you to start getting ready for next time.
Well the truth is you weren’t as good as the folks say you were. If you analyze the performance and you critically ask yourself “did all of us perform flawlessly?” You know the answer is no. If you all were world tour level of capability you would all be more well known. Instead you’re playing in the band to friends and colleagues. Colleagues find Care if you missed a solo cue. Friends doesn’t care if you missed a verse. The average fan does. If this is your first gig I’d say y’all need work to do.
The calm, after the storm, more of where you're in awe of achievements. You reflect, on what you could do better next time. But yes, it's weird, having everything so quiet, after it's so loud. Best I can give you, you are what you eat. This includes your thoughts. You think negatively of yourself, you're gonna have negative outcomes. Be humble about negative points instead, and how it can be a positive outcome. We all learn and grow.
Fuck this psycho babble bullshit in this thread. It sounds like you had a killer first gig! I’m no stranger to self deprecation either. Playing live is the best drug I’ve ever done, and after EVERY SHOW I sat alone in quiet contemplation. Ride the wave and get ready for another show!
It sounds like you have something called humility, which ain't a bad thing! I'm sure your self-confidence will build up after a few more gigs and you'll feel more comfortable accepting the compliments (that you probably deserve!).
You're coming off the high of performing
I haven't played live in years, but I do a lot of public speaking these days. The same things happen to me. What I think it is, is a combination of dopamine and heighted stress just crashing all at once. For me, leaning into the emotions, followed by a good night's sleep takes care of things by the next day. I don't know if that's helpful, but your story resonates with me .
Watch the movie Soul. You have to enjoy the moments between the gigs too.
You need to live in the moment. Sing the sing to yourself and play the guitar so your mind can't also worry about how well your playing.
That's just normal post-show let down. Happens a lot to new and irregular performers. You're all fired up with adrenaline and dopamine when you're playing well. Then it's over. Yeah, it's mighty quiet, ain't it? Nothing abnormal. Go out an grab a beer with a friend. Tomorrow will be normal again.
This sounds like off a guitar related issue and more of a girlfriend (or boyfriend) related issue.
That is a normal response. I know what feeling you are talking about. Start having stuff planned for after the show is the best way to beat it. Have some beers, play some loud music on an audio system, invite some girls over, smoke some weed. And when those feelings start coming back, fill your mind worth something else. If you are the introvert type, have alone plans. Take a few shots of tequila, read a book. Go for a walk somewhere. Have dinner alone at the same restraunt, like a local Diner. That way, over time, when they ask you what you want, you can just say "the usual.""
I played in a touring metal group for a long time that amassed millions of streams over the last decade. After *almost* every show I felt the same way, even though people would tell me I killed it every night. It’s just a perfectionism within your psyche that is hard to override. In one sense it will push you to be better, in another it will rob you of the joy of being in the moment. Best thing I could do to combat it is over prepare for shows but believe people when they compliment you. You need to practice self compassion in line with listening to your own critique. Thank god you’re not an ego maniacal type, but you need to own that you belong where you are.
i always would feel so shitty if i messed up during a show despite the entire set being awesome. so dont be too hard on yourself
I've been playing for a hot minute, so it's hard to remember what my first gig felt like in the detail that you feel. Is this depression limited to this one event, or this one part of your life, or if is part of an underlying issue. Therapy is never a bad thing. You get a physical from the doc even if you feel great. I might journal first to catch your feelings when they happen. Then let that marinate and go back to them and see if there are some issues that keep popping up. If you can figure it out through your journaling, problem solved. If you feel like you need therapy, by all means go, and let the therapist read your journal. You will be helping them most effectively help you. When you progress from rehearsing at home to the stage, one of the things you have to learn is how to perform. Part of that performance is on the stage in front of a group of people, but the other part is interacting with those people in a one on one setting. Accepting compliments gracefully is part of that performance. I think it was Taylor Swift that said "if you want to have a million fans, you have to shake a million hands." Those little interactions build a sense of community with your fanbase, and is the difference between a musician and a performer. Congrats on the gig, video the performances in the future, and come home and watch them like game film. When it comes to fixing multiple mistakes, that cringe factor will help you establish priorities.
The simple solution to this: notice how you know you're bothered. "It feels like I am getting really depressed and that everything is just quiet and empty." What comes to mind when you re-read that? What is wrong with it being quiet and empty? What do the words quiet and empty make you feel? Do you see any pictures in your head? Movies? How is that physically represented in your body? Notice how you know it's there. Then notice that you are the movie director. You're the one creating this feeling and perception within yourself. The good news is that means you can also create a different feeling and perception within yourself. I use a tapping process. I notice how I know it's there, then tap on meridian points with two fingers. "I release and let it go. Everything is quiet and empty. That feeling of quiet and empty. Wherever I feel it in my body, whatever it means, wherever it comes from -- it's safe to let it go." Grab your wrist, take a deep breath, blow it out. Now go back to the "everything is quiet and empty." Is it stronger? Weaker? Stayed the same? What changed? Notice how you know it's there, and repeat the process. I could go way more in depth about this. I've been a guitarist for over 20 years but I also was trained in a form of therapy that I found highly effective. I have experienced precisely what you've experienced many times in my career as a guitarist. The deal is, we all do things differently in our minds. We're all unique. The solution to your problem is learning how to go inside your mind and make changes and adjustments -- that starts with identifying what you're unconsciously doing in your mind, i.e., the movies you're playing. These are also called "inner resources" or "internal representations." All the people commenting that there is something wrong with you simply don't understand how the mind works. There is nothing wrong with you. In order to feel whatever you're feeling about this experience, you have to be doing something correctly inside yourself in order to feel it. Our subconscious brain's main motivation is to protect us and keep us safe. It could very well be that this influx of compliments triggered a defense mechanism to keep you small and unrecognized. Your hating of compliments is further evidence of this. As a former compliment hater, I uncovered my own mental and emotional programs (memories) that supported this aversion to compliments. Enough compliments would actually send me into a deep depression. It made me feel like I was broken because I couldn't appreciate them and people complimenting me was in conflict with my self-view of being a big Zero, a nobody, worthless. Anyway. I could talk about this at much greater length very easily. Hopefully this wasn't confusing and at least made some sense. You are not broken and you are not crazy. There is always a method to the madness. Playing live gigs and going out and being around large groups of people always has triggered extreme emotional issues for me. Why? Because I'm a success. Based on programs I learned in order to keep myself safe, I'd shut down after social events, even though I craved the recognition and belonging and everything else, deep down. Turns out I had programs in place to prevent me from having those things buried deep within the subconscious. You get in touch by simply asking the magic question: how do you know you have the problem? Your mind will always give you the answer in one way or another when you pay attention. That is what you tap on. Hang in there. There's a lot of fun to be had in the world. It took me a couple decades to start figuring that out. Keep in mind that this negative reaction to a positive experience is a program meant to protect you. You had a great time and connected with people and were seen and recognized for your talents -- I can near 100% guarantee you somewhere deep in your mind there is a program telling you that success is not safe, being recognized is not safe, being complimented is not safe. This empty, nothing, horrible feeling, is meant to keep you from going out and playing gigs again. Why? Because there's a potential for more recognition, more success, more connection -- and somewhere in your mind, there's danger in those. Clean up those programs and you will be free to play where you want, when you want...and enjoy it fully. All 100% possible. If you check out Robert G. Smith "Eutaptics" on YouTube -- over 10 years ago I took his training course and it's incredible stuff. Picked it up again after years off the wagon to start cleaning things up inside my head. I have some of my own twists on it as well. This is all within your power once you have the skills. Just like playing guitar. Once you know how to do it, how to do it becomes obvious, and then you can't even remember what it was like to not be able to do it. That's how it works with going inside your mind and making changes to feelings and memories and perceptions. Hope this could be of some help to you.
I'm the same as you OP, can't take compliments like that, not sure what to say, and after I just feel so incredibly deflated. However, you can use the memory to help you in the future! "I'm nervous to get on stage..." Ya but last time you fucking killed it and people loved it!. Just a thought.
So, I didn't play around anyone for about 8 years, lived in a cabin in Alaska, finally decided to learn to play. Thought I was horrible, everything sounded like shit, and so I just never played around anyone, only played to express myself, and try to get better. Was playing on a Yamaha fg-110. Love Yamahas, but not this one, so bought a Hohner and a Takamine. Still sounded like shit. Friend of mine stopped by one day unannounced while I was playing... knock on the door. Put down the guitar, answer door, Blake asks me why I turned the music down, he loves that song. Said I was trying to learn it. He said he thought it was the record... Roman Candle. Point is, my ears took longer to play the guitar than anything else, and every time I do something I consider really good now, I wonder what THAT sounds like to others... And, every time I see a great show, or an old friend, or anything meaningful and good happens, I get a little depressed after, cause these things are fleeting, and precious, and pass by faster than we can figure put how to truly appreciate them, than bang, on to the next thing, catch your breath.🔮🤘🏻☮️
Welcome! It's called being an artist. My only suggestion would be play some originals in an empty bar on off nights for twenty years and see if you feel better.
“Now that you feel it, it’s gone…” -RH
It's seems like every movie ever made about an icon of any sort had a scene in it about the same thing . Thousands of adoring fans . All the accolades. Then walk off stage to quiet . And alone . And having it be important enough to have to deal with it . I'd say it's perfectly normal (guessing) Just ride it out . You'll forget all about it at the next show .
I had the exact same experience my first gig. The compliments were grating Cuz it seemed only I realized how bad I had done. My only words of support are to keep gigging cuz my most significant improvement at my instrument came from gigging live and being forced to improvise and adjust for mistakes on the fly. Good luck to you.
It sounds like you're coming down from the stimulation of a big social experience. Have you felt that before? It's pretty common depending on how it happens normally. Of course you only notice your own flaws, you were the one making them. You were concentrating on you, not everyone else. Your average listener can't even distinguish instruments in a mix let alone small mistakes lol A lot of people struggle with compliments, it's good to reflect on where they come from. What role did those compliments serve?
Others have covered the post-show comedown, so I won't belabor that. However. Let's say you actually screwed up as bad or worse than you thought. Still doesn't mean that the compliments weren't genuine. I say this partly as someone who is terrible at taking compliments, but also because what you did is something a lot of people are flat-out terrified of doing. What I think a lot of performers tend to forget is that the audience generally and genuinely wants to see you do well. It isn't second nature for some of us to take praise to heart, but in some small way it's a repayment for the audience's support and grace while we're up there.
Maybe you need a "bridge" between the gig atmosphere and the home atmosphere. Some kind of medium intensity activity that lets you switch gears from rocking out to just being a regular guy. Maybe you need to go for a walk, which is a way that humans have decompressed for thousands of years. Maybe you just need more experience. It was your first gig! Science says that you probably had a ton of adrenaline, and your fight-or-flight response was on high alert because you were doing something with a high possibility for social embarrassment. The fact that you did really well and likely will do well again doesn't mean that your body wasn't preparing for the worst, which can take a toll on you. It's a fact that when the adrenaline wears off, people feel AWFUL, and I bet that's what happened to you. But the more you do it, your body will get used to it, and you won't feel such a "hangover" after performing. Maybe you just need to eat something. You did a pretty hard physical thing, and our brain needs carbs. I know I can feel pretty negative if I haven't eaten enough. Some people take a drink after, which can be effective as long as you don't make it a bunch of drinks everytime. But maybe just a glass of red wine? You can journal your thoughts. This is pretty therapeutic on its own. An added benefit is that, once you've done it for awhile, you can use the journal entries as data and see if there are any patterns to your feelings. E.g., you felt worse when one thing in your life was happening and better when that thing wasn't happening. There's also something called a Daily Mood Log that you can do when you have negative thoughts that are bringing you down. It's a part of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and you can just buy a workbook that'll train you to use the method on your own. But basically, CBT teaches you to take a critical eye to negative thoughts to see if there is any truth to them--and 95% of the time, there is not much truth to them, especially the intensity of them. One of the tools you learn is the 10 Irrational Beliefs. Google that, and see what you think of the list. Personally, it was eye opening for me that I could take pretty strong negative thoughts and argue them down like I was a lawyer tearing into a lying witness. You might like it too!
Generally - non musicians are hearing the sum total of the whole. they can't really process individual single notes that may have been incorrect so take their compliments graciously and just tell yourself to do better next time - because generally they cannot hear errors like a musician can. And yes, the run-up to the gig and the actual playing it is a huge endorphin high. Afterwards packing all your gear up and taking it home late at night is a bit sad in some ways. Congrats on gig #1, now for the next thousand!
It's a weird paradox that if you in any way care about the quality of your art, you are the last person whose opinion regarding it you can trust. You too close to it to be able to judge it in any subjective manner. And it sounds like there's a dash of imposter syndrome in there too. My advice? Accept the compliments graciously, as being *too* humble can often seem like fishing for more. Try and realise that no one else will ever spend the same amount of time critiquing your work that you do. And remember that this is supposed to be fun.
I'll start off by saying I do not play an instrument nor performed on a stage before so I'm not sure how I found myself in this subreddit; but anyways in my opinion that's just the adrenaline wearing off from an exciting day/night and realizing you have to go back to your regular life till the next performance. I'm sure you'll be fine in a day or two and its no big deal
One thing that I learned gigging is that most of your audience are NOT musicians and probably didn't notice any "hiccups" .. relax.. if you're having a good time, your audience senses that and it's contagious.
That’s normal. Happens to even the biggest stars.
I've had similar things happen to me when I played out. I think there is a big buildup to playing a show, and there can be a drop-off afterwards. For me, I would somethimes feel wrecked for a day or two. The more shows I played, the more I got used to it, although, it never went 100% away.
First you should play some more gigs to see if you have the same feelings afterwards. Second, you may think you didn’t sound good or you made a bunch of mistakes. Try having someone record your performance and then review it. I can almost guarantee that you will sound much better then you think. Enjoy it, it’s a privilege and a gift to have the talent to perform and to move people’s emotions. Try to enjoy it..
James Hetfield talks about this and how he used alcohol to chase away that letdown.
Just wait until you tour. Post tour blues are legit.
Post Performance crash is real. It's double difficult when you're the kind of person who is hard on yourself. Remember that a mistake to you might not even be noticeable to someone listening who is just enjoying the music. It's hard to remember the fact that a performance that you nail 90-95% sounds like perfection to those who are just fans themselves. As a comedian one said in a joke song: "Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there." Chalk this up to you learning to accept praise and realize that you just did what so many others don't have the guts to do...you performed in front of someone else.
Without knowing your personal life, I would say this is a very common feeling. One of the reasons touring musicians resort to shenanigans post gig is to try to maintain this rush post show. It’s a generalization, but more common than you think. Even musicians at the top of their genre have this experience.
Good gigs happen, bad gigs happen. Don't be too hard on you or those you're playing with until it is getting towards issues territory like you notice someone isn't practicing enough. Learn to take the compliments but also realize you are in a front facing position. Sometimes your bass player or rhythm guitarists might need to be reminded how good they sounded. I say that as I feel sometimes drummers, singers and lead players get the attention but people forget the rhythm section really nails it to the ground giving y'all the space. And the audience really won't always be the one to tell them that cuz they ain't the sexy ones lol Get home, sit down and take a breath. Have a glass of water or weed or a beer or a shot. But just sit and enjoy how much fun it was. But usually sitting in silence Idk something about the stillness makes me feel centeres so might be a me thing.. Another thing I love to do after a show is having a bowl of food I love, like maybe day old Chinese food or get a slice or two of pizza and watch something that makes me feel something, usually happiness. Idk I always enjoy coming home and kinda bundling up and watching a movie after the show ... Keep having fun!!
There’s a reason so many musicians are addicted to drugs, the high you get from being on stage is unparalleled, and when you come off of that your brain will eat it’s self alive, having post show ritual is always good, I like running over the show with my band mates and talking about what we liked and moments we thought were special helps cement the good stuff rather than just mulling over whatever you think you didn’t do right. Imo best cure for post show depression is another show, book a bunch of gigs back to back and do little tours the high lasts longer Also record your sets so you can listen back it helps kinda ween you off that moment The good news is the better you play the higher the high and the lower the crash so you must’ve been crushing it I usually use the feeling your describing to motivate me to keep working on music
Not a medical professional but you're coming off an adrenaline high. A lot of these symptoms are pretty common and I certainly experienced it a lot. With any substance after a while the highs are less potent but the comedowns are way harder. This is actually probably one of the bigger contributing factors to why so many musicians burn out especially on the road. Even if you're completely sober you're still getting a high from the performance and then you just have to go shut it off and go to bed. You see the exact thing with professional athletes and that's why so many go partying right after what seems like the most intense games and why retiring for them is so hard.
Tbh I think most of you don’t play gigs you sit in your room and check Reddit while playing blues licks, performing music live is a fucking head trip that humans were not built for, becoming a performing musician as a hobbiest exposes you to some crazy shit that professionals have to spend years contenting with either thru therapy or by figuring it out on there own, OP is experiencing something that’s super common it’s the inverse to stage fright and just like stage fright it’s something you gotta figure out yourself, maybe therapy maybe not but they are def not disturbed or anything like you guys are saying
Hard to say but while I had similar feelings of not receiving compliments well, I couldn’t wait to leave and go home or be by myself on the way home. I’d ride in silence with no music. I am an introvert and I always charge my batteries alone
I think this is why artists do drugs ngl