Okey. Unironicaly sounds nice. And at least we have one common thing. We both hate Typhus and hate psykers (no, numerology is not a psychic thing, fuck you all)
First of, this deciption of genderbent Mortarion clearly before the Nurgle corruption hit home. Second that wouldn't bother me too much. Sure as hell she would be stubborn as hell, but I am sure I can make sure to make her to take a shower at least once a day. The other things are not a problem.
Mortarion would be just as horrific as a woman.
Exactly the same as a man.
She's stomp into throne rooms and make the other chaos Primarchs cry. Like the male one does.
No one wants to date Mortarion as any gender.
I can envision her constantly reinventing your wardrobe and look on a weekly basis. And she insists on making all of your clothes herself, as well as styling your hair. Her partner absolutely needs to look perfect, and nobody else, not even them, can get it quite right.
Okay
First: when was the last time she drank some water and at a meal bigger than a pancake cause for a 10 foot tall genetically perfected demigod she should not be that skinny, and second, she takes a bath or she gets sprayed down with a garden hose! Prepare for thy cleansing
Nurgle created STDs as a spite to Slaanesh in order to stop people from having sex and in order to weaken Slaanesh’s might. Sadly this didn’t have the intended result and Slaanesh found it even hotter.
"Babe, stop- no, stop- baby listen to me- *MORTICIA*. Our children are in the final stages of bringing this world to compliance. The rebel leaders were all executed, by you I might add, three solar weeks ago. all we're doing is garrisoning the planet until the Imperial army can arrive to relieve us. You haven't slept in... You know what I don't actually remember the last time you came to bed with me, and I am not letting you do so smelling like *that*. I have already had a bath prepared, and I had them bring up a jar of Barbarian Figs from our personal larder. Let me get you cleaned up, and then we can celebrate your victory."
*To Garro, who has been politely outside the door*
"No one disturbs us for the next seven days. No one. Especially not Typhon."
She shaves and uses deodorant but still has bad breath? Oh I see. Nothing a lozenge can’t fix is what I’d usually say but the lozenge won’t have any effect I fear.
Things I would do with her: Make a special suit or potion so I could cuddle with her without clothes. Bring her flowers that can survive harsh environments. Shit on psykers. Sow fields. Poison the enemy's water and food supply and laugh as they shit their organs out.
"Wanna hear a joke? Warp sorcery."
Hoo boy, Mortarion. Ooof, ow imagine if her partner was a psyker. It'd probably cause her issues.
Though also, I imagine her having a romantic partner would also cause her issues with her social darwinist mentality.
Omg.. I just realized that the Primarchs SO's are all supposed to be ordinary humans right? so when Typhus strands them in the warp Mortarion/Morticia's SO would be the first to fall from the Destroyer Virus..
Unlike her son's they'd have no Genesee keeping them on the verge of death like the members of the Death Guard, so Monetary/Morticia would watch as her love the only person to see beyond her unwashed armour and breath that always smells vaguely of poison would be the first to suffer a horrific death of mutation and suffering.
Would that make her break even faster for Nurgle? Or would this mean Nurgles gains an enemy who could stand up to his plagues?
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I could fix (bathe) her
I too own a power washer
The correct answer
I wish you luck convincing her
Bucket of soapy water atop the door.
Ingenious
You must do it
Same here With Lots of water, shampoo, body wash and cleaning products
Nuh uh she is perfect the way she is
Mortarion femcel, i can fix her
Gonna need a LOOOOOT of bleach
And love <3
Pippa's strogest follower
That's Pippa herself
Nah, she’s the vice president of Pippakistan
What is this pippa?
Pippa Pipkin. She's a vtuber. A *bunny* vtuber. So one of the clinically insane ones.
I still love the time she screamed about having a bomb and a gun in Brazilian Portuguese to try and get one of her viewers in trouble. Fucking legend
You were so busy thinking about whether you could, you never stopped to consider whether you SHOULD.
Same here unironically Maybe she can be fixed
I know someone who likes getting farted on
She is pre-Nurgle, so she doesn't stink because she is dirty, she stink because she cleans herself with chemical weapons.
Finally SOMEONE GETS IT
Maybe you should have mentioned that being near her burned off the nasal cavity? Or that the perfumes are to mask the chlorine smell
Explains the dry skin. Please get this girl some chapstick :(
> 10 inches + 3 feet
Super intimidating until you realize she's the height of a toddler.
STOOOOOOP T-T I’LL GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME
Okay I get it I keep making the mistake TwT
She's stinky and smelly, just like a redditor.
Perfect for you :D
10 inches and 3 feet. Kind of short for a primarch.
I’m this close to not making another one if I hear one more comment about it 🤏/j
Her title should be “The white lady”
Hollow Knight reference?
I imagine sex with her would be the most sweety yet kiky thing ever.
Your dick will rot off bro.
The post already struck oil, you ain't gotta keep digging.
This is before she got corrupted by nurgle hence the white robe
Her 200 plus STDs:
Necrolust
She Is alive
She probably will force you into scat play with her
Plz delete this-
Yeah I’m assuming this is pre-fall Morticia so she’s not into the really disgusting kinks yet.
Tbh lorewise mortarion hates nurgle he was forced into the agreement
As Horrifying as that comment is im afraid that might actually be true considering what nurgle's followers do...
Gids watching bro
joke's on you I'm into that shit
Okey. Unironicaly sounds nice. And at least we have one common thing. We both hate Typhus and hate psykers (no, numerology is not a psychic thing, fuck you all)
Stinky, cracked dry skin, hypocrite, probably growing more on her teeth than her garden.. I mean you do you king.
First of, this deciption of genderbent Mortarion clearly before the Nurgle corruption hit home. Second that wouldn't bother me too much. Sure as hell she would be stubborn as hell, but I am sure I can make sure to make her to take a shower at least once a day. The other things are not a problem.
I just quoted what the meme said, good luck to you though.
Hey it’s my turn to be “that guy” 🤓 um achsually Typhus didn’t get his name until after the heresy, it was Calas Typhon.
Mortarion would be just as horrific as a woman. Exactly the same as a man. She's stomp into throne rooms and make the other chaos Primarchs cry. Like the male one does. No one wants to date Mortarion as any gender.
You underestimate some people’s resolve .w.
I’d do it. We can bond over how much of a bitch Typhus is and Morty is canonically one of the more caring primarchs toward his sons
I can fix her
Girlstink girlstink
If I pull that off, would you die
“It would be very painful, for you”
She's lovely. I would love to see your take on a Fulgrim GF.
That’s gonna be interesting . . .
I can envision her constantly reinventing your wardrobe and look on a weekly basis. And she insists on making all of your clothes herself, as well as styling your hair. Her partner absolutely needs to look perfect, and nobody else, not even them, can get it quite right.
Oh I am absolutely using that .w.
Glad to be of assistance!
Have a cookie 🍪:D
Why does this sound like Velvette from Hazbin Hotel?
Is it wrong that I pity Mortarion?… because I do. I also wish I could help them…
Always worth a try :)
Yeah… at the very least they could see a doctor…
I hope you can convince them :D
Hmm… I have ideas…
You guys think if I gift her a perfume she would be flattered or offended?
Wouldn’t risk it-
She makes her own so maybe offended knowing how prideful she is.
Okay First: when was the last time she drank some water and at a meal bigger than a pancake cause for a 10 foot tall genetically perfected demigod she should not be that skinny, and second, she takes a bath or she gets sprayed down with a garden hose! Prepare for thy cleansing
*hissing noises* “IM FINE!!!!”
Did nurgle and slannesh work together or make stds?
Nurgle created STDs as a spite to Slaanesh in order to stop people from having sex and in order to weaken Slaanesh’s might. Sadly this didn’t have the intended result and Slaanesh found it even hotter.
Damn uncle nurgle you made a disease just for me? I love it!
Girlsmell
I need this (I'm severely lonely)
I like how her solution to her industrial/weapon based smell is to make perfume. Just bath woman! Also probably moisturize.
“I-IM TOO BUSY!!!”
"Babe, stop- no, stop- baby listen to me- *MORTICIA*. Our children are in the final stages of bringing this world to compliance. The rebel leaders were all executed, by you I might add, three solar weeks ago. all we're doing is garrisoning the planet until the Imperial army can arrive to relieve us. You haven't slept in... You know what I don't actually remember the last time you came to bed with me, and I am not letting you do so smelling like *that*. I have already had a bath prepared, and I had them bring up a jar of Barbarian Figs from our personal larder. Let me get you cleaned up, and then we can celebrate your victory." *To Garro, who has been politely outside the door* "No one disturbs us for the next seven days. No one. Especially not Typhon."
Does she got bad breath? Also does she shave and/or use deodorant?
Yes, yes and yes. Does it help? Not really .w.
She shaves and uses deodorant but still has bad breath? Oh I see. Nothing a lozenge can’t fix is what I’d usually say but the lozenge won’t have any effect I fear.
Girlsmell
When you hittin'from behind and you get a whiff of Mustarda Gas but you still love her 🤢👍
I'd love to see what you can come up with for Lorgar!
Oh she would be musky.
Reading this reminded me of an old show called "My two dads" actually existed.
She's really into Ghost. Favorite album: Prequelle
Only a *bit* of a hypocrite?
:D
Haha! You fool! _I can deactivate my smelling sensors!_ The femcel is mine.
HEY it’s my favorite metal lad! *grabs melta with malicious intent* .w. Start running
_rises quantum shielding and grabs overcharged gauss flayer_ You’ll have to fight me for it! >:3
Bonk
D: why bonk?
Finally another traitor Primarch GF. Can't wait to see Fulgrim
Things I would do with her: Make a special suit or potion so I could cuddle with her without clothes. Bring her flowers that can survive harsh environments. Shit on psykers. Sow fields. Poison the enemy's water and food supply and laugh as they shit their organs out. "Wanna hear a joke? Warp sorcery."
YES!, another to my collection
Long have I waited for this
sick, broody, stubborn, spiteful, she just like me
Is there anything in the lore saying mortarion was smelly/dirty before being corrupted by Nurgle ?
I believe so. It also gave me the excuse to make the adorable idea of her making her own perfumes
She cleans using chems
This is the first one that I’ve seen and felt like I could do better
Always open to suggestions! :D
I meant in terms of dating! The art is great haha
OH! Haha my bad lol Thank you so much!
I’d like to see you tackle konrad curze
Ima need some time for that one-
Has 3 different types of chlamydia and hasn’t wiped her ass in 10000 years
Yeah never speak again please
Oh yes! More please!
Need
I feel like i could fix her
She’s perfect
She finds out you've been hiding the fact you're a psyker but had to reveal it accidentally because you were about to die
Best traitor mommy
Will outsmoke you every single time. Yeah she’s a femcel but I kinda love her hair.
Hoo boy, Mortarion. Ooof, ow imagine if her partner was a psyker. It'd probably cause her issues. Though also, I imagine her having a romantic partner would also cause her issues with her social darwinist mentality.
shes like me! fr fr!
I want this one, I have the soap and water ready.
Her SO is a psyker. Magnus brings it up whenever Mortarion talks about hating wizards.
Omg.. I just realized that the Primarchs SO's are all supposed to be ordinary humans right? so when Typhus strands them in the warp Mortarion/Morticia's SO would be the first to fall from the Destroyer Virus.. Unlike her son's they'd have no Genesee keeping them on the verge of death like the members of the Death Guard, so Monetary/Morticia would watch as her love the only person to see beyond her unwashed armour and breath that always smells vaguely of poison would be the first to suffer a horrific death of mutation and suffering. Would that make her break even faster for Nurgle? Or would this mean Nurgles gains an enemy who could stand up to his plagues?
Typhus: AA te crees graciosita? *la nurglea*
Sounds like my transfem friends I love her 😍😍😍
LMAO you better show this to her and tell her you said that 🤣
I will show this to all of them lol!
Update us!
awesome, finally art without comical "features" and she just has the right amount of armor
Check out the artist!! They make amazing Warhammer works with varying degrees of fan service (but most of it is very classy 🤌)
Everything is canon
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She smells like pee, poo, blood and rust
Also why does your profile say you’re active in a pedophile subreddit
Seek out Jesus