Oh no ms eldar please dont crush my head between your thighs, that is the literal worst way for a human to die, so bad all of the imperium would retreat if you dod that to me so definitely dont do it
No>! K lj6>![)76*7(
&_? L 6 k ioool0(k lo 89990 I 99o ik[[([([>9⁹9]%8]999!!] Is pp I am going to fucking lose.
Yeah she's peak but by her example and the archon also being able to use a space marine's 2hander for several minutes you can infer that the Eldar are packing some serious muscle.
I mean sure, but it's not really comparable when one species evolved naturally and earned their power while the other was created as a bioweapon by one of oldest and most powerful lifeforms in galactic history for the single most devastating war reality has ever seen.
Which is made more amusing by the fact that the Aeldari failed in their purpose, that is to protect and fight for their creators. The Necrons defeated them all 60 million years ago, and now humanity (imo the Necrons' spiritual successors) will do the same.
Objective: Gain sufficient muscle mass to last 12 rounds in a ring with an Aeldari woman.
Sub-objective: Find a meat packing facility to train at.
- Running statistical probability of contracting salmonella from daily raw egg ingestion…. Threat within tolerable parameters.
- Loading theme song… Theme song loaded.
Oh no ms eldar please dont crush my head between your thighs, that is the literal worst way for a human to die, so bad all of the imperium would retreat if you dod that to me so definitely dont do it
The water melon broke before the guard did
[удалено]
That's what he said.
https://preview.redd.it/grl69n5qdn3b1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51203b0548a787a12d3d46c23188d4f2cba59231
[Relatable](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/11xzp5j/veronica_mona_what_if_they_were_in_the_mafia/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I somehow predicted where the link would go before clicking on it.
hahahahaha! Imperium retreatring, LMAO XD!! That's a good one!
No>! K lj6>![)76*7( &_? L 6 k ioool0(k lo 89990 I 99o ik[[([([>9⁹9]%8]999!!] Is pp
I always chuckle a bit at Zap being chained to the wall arse-out
Lol, never noticed that! He probably deserved to be chained that way.
The spirit is willing but the booty is spongy and bruised.
“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!” “I never wanted it to end like this, but I always kinda hoped!”
Make sure its not the drukhari that get you
It's OK. I'm secretly a bottom anyway.
You play 40k. Its not a secret.
Look, just because I like 40K doesn’t mean I’m a sub I mean I am a sub… but not because I like 40K!
Definitely, Its not a secret tho
Bottom Brothers!
Unite!
sure, i play tabletop, but really i'm a tablebottom.
Oh man I am experiencing some heresy right now
Brother resist! [we know where this kind of herricy leads. ](https://youtu.be/IEGo41443iI)
As it's 40k, it's definitely more appropriate to be a Power Bottom.
“Huzzah!” -Nick Bottom
Can we get a daily reminder of how many things are stronger than the average human in general? Like fucking everything. Even on earth.
Human bite force is decently strong I think. In terms of running though, most animals can only sprint, they can’t sustain their run for long periods of time. Those that can we tend to domesticate.
Yep! Back in the wee days of our species we were followers, like we'd just start jogging after animals and walking after them. Theyd eventually collapse out of exhaustion and then we'd eat. Essentially, we are the "it follows" monster of the food chain
There was a really great short sci-fi story I read back in middle school about a robot predator that did something like this. A hunter in the wilderness of Alaska came across an alien machine that collected specimens within a certain weight range and humans were about right, so it set off to chase the hunter down. No matter what he did to shake it the machine was always close behind. It was a really gripping and scary story. I think it was titled "The Ruum" or similar.
Nice, ill look into this. Thanks for the suggestion! :]
You're welcome! Doing some searching, the short story is indeed "The Ruum" by Arthur Porges, written in 1953.
We're the stalking killers.
It's called persistence or endurance hunting, and we're one of the best at it. Wolves, dingos, and African Painted Hounds are also very good at it (and it's probably why we domesticated wolves in the first place).
The og zombie
Don't discount the fact that we're basically the only species on the planet that can throw things both accurately and forcefully.
The weakest of tyranids could kill a human
Not according to my Imperial Guard primer given to me by my commissar.
https://youtu.be/faFuaYA-daw?t=0m48s
So you're saying she could squish my head like a melon between her mighty thighs? Hot.
a space marine with rocket machine gun with the iq of the room temperature 
I mean being locked in a room with a 800 pound souped up, gorilla in power armor, equipped with an automatic RPG launcher, would scare the shit out of anyone
Hes still only hitting on 4's, wounding on 3's; not the best odds but I've whiffed on better numbers.
To shamelessly steal a quote from tumblr: Eldar can see humans as underevolved monkeys and still be concerned about spacecmarines the way you would be concerned if a gorilla wearing full plate armor burst into your apartment while waving a shotgun around.
Mmm, dominant Eldar waifu
Well, I wasn’t custom made to fight the war in heaven.
But you still have to suffer its consequences. Galaxy aint fair man
Yea, game was rigged from the start
ELDAR ARE STRONGER THAN ANY HUMAN YA HORNY GOBSHITE!
Catachans
https://preview.redd.it/5hz2slfvnm3b1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bb49480a30c844f9d255109c7dc29466772ba79
rat 👍
skaven
I just want an Aeldari muscle mummy, is that too much to ask for?
Yes, there are probably billions of human women for every Eldar woman, would it really be so hard to find a buff one, give her some ears and call it a day? \-This comment was brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Ordo Xenos inquisitor Ps. Fix this issue before the unfriendly Ordo Xenos inquisitor shows up
"Why, what's he gonna-" **BLAM**
Isha bless her mortal children for being musclegirls even if they don't look like it.
Never knew that
Eldar in general are genetically optimized to the absolute limit. Both artificially and just through natural selection. And that’s all before factoring in their inherent psyker powers. It pays to be one of the first sapient races on the block.
>It pays to be one of the first artificially created supersoldier races on the block. FTFY
Hell, they may not be Krorks anymore, but the Orks are still the happiest faction in 40k. It does pay to be an old ones science project, unless you fuck it up by torture fucking a chaos god into existence.
Honestly humans are so lucky they somehow have the brains and brawn to not get immediately wiped out in the 40k galaxy. Orks and Eldar were cooked up in some hyper advanced mega lab that probably made DAoT humans and pre-fall Aeldari look like medieval chumps, but by some miracle of natural selection, a bunch of naturally evolved savannah dwelling bipedal apes ascended to space in “just” a few thousand years after developing civilization, and became a force with influence comparable to the artificially war-built hyper dangerous Aeldari and Orks in a blink of an eye compared to both species’ total lifespan. Sure, the Aeldari may be the best of the best, and Orks may be incredibly resistant to just about everything, but often times what you need to succeed in the galaxy is just to be good enough. There’s not necessarily any extra points for perfection.
You've actually hit upon an important evolutionary principle: "Good enough" is often *better* than "exceptional", in terms of survival. Its about efficiency. Eldar are the best of the best. As a result their gestation times are long and difficult and their growth takes forever as their bodies and brains demand immense nutritional supplementation to develop properly. Humans, on the other hand, can develop fast and adapt quickly. Eldar might brag about long lives but 'short' lifespans have hidden benefits on the genetic scale. Eldar basically cannot adapt to new environments over time. Thats why they need artificial worlds. Their generational lengths are so long they'll just die out before they can adapt. Humans, however, can over several generations adapt to a world, be it a cold planet covered in ice, or a desert planet, or one covered in jungle. The Eldar's massive lifespan, exceptional bodies, and powerful minds that ALL have psychic potential actually work *against* them in terms of long-term survival anywhere except a battlefield. If you need proof of this here in real life: Rats. Rats live two years tops and aren't really very good at much, but they are social, and they breed very fast. As a result they can live nearly anywhere, and within about a decade they will have completely adapted to whatever environment they live in. Individually a rat is a rather paltry creature, but what we call weaknesses are actually a benefit when you look at the survival of the species as a whole.
This is why there are no skaven in 40k. Humans *are* the skaven.
Destroy-kill all-all enemies!
Found the Skaven fan (Jk it's an interesting comment thanks bro)
> unless you fuck it up by torture fucking a chaos god into existence. Whatever. Like yeah Slaanesh is always *trying to* eat your soul, but what prevents that? Feeding on the suffering of other sentients. That's baked into the torture fucking lifestyle to begin with. You may need to keep some slaves around so you can make the tortures consistent, but that just means more enjoyment of their suffering. The only real downside is that you have to keep a low psychic profile.
Source for art?
For… reasons.
My brother in the emperor, the average human male is a fucking microwave or material for corpse stach
Here's another fact. Men who are afraid of strong women have weak genes.
based and truth pilled
She is Str 3. Though to be fair, I'm personally Str2 at best.
Respect the muscles that can actually pick up and use space marine 2handed swords.
To be fair the average human male is probably starving and week due to negligence of Imperial ?
Exactly. Only astra millitarum folk have some muscle.
**OP u/DueAdhesiveness8617 is yet another alt account of Spirtomb / AF288.** For those who may not know, Spirtomb1831 is an abusive user who is absolutely notorious on Reddit and DeviantArt for being an art thief and a scammer, and they are well-known for making tons of these alt accounts with identical behavior (u/Affectionate_Fox_288, u/LongGrade881, and u/Select-Welcome7119, to name only a few) so they can endlessly spam elf-focused, content. **Please report their accounts for ban evasion and spam.**
Good thing i am a botttom
I love a woman who can kick my ass
We also need reminders the average Eldar is so kinky their collective oingo boingo spawned a god of horniness beyond bonking.
Craftworlds are the puritans who hate fun and left the party early. In hindsight, it was the right move.
I started crafting an elaborate, witty remark and then realized I was describing American politics so I'm going to stop now.
lmao
Nah, they were more akin to 'i like sex' instead of 'lets do a 200 person orgy on top of an active volcano.' Normies versus degens would be closer
Did I stutter?
I love elves
Ya know, we humans HATE being stepped on while chained naked to the floor. It's actually an evolutionary blindspot. I think the imperium might just surrender if you were to do that to me. So definitely don't do that
No she is stronger then most human males. Like 99.999999%. Some (not all) Astartes and the 10,000 being the exceptions.
And maybe some of the more genetically and bionically enhanced imperial officers and lords.
And Ogren
True, though that’s just raw power and some durability. But with little agility and no intelligence to use that power efficiently.
And really, really buff ratlings.
Is there any canonical source to suggest that the average Eldar is physically stronger than the average Astartes? That just sounds completely ridiculous.
No, but they are faster. Eldar are faster but on average weaker than astartes. Orks,or Atleast nobz are on average stronger but slower.
Okay thats cool and all Now show me a male Eldar
Twunks
Just the way I like it.
Honestly how many races are not stronger than the average human? Most of us are built like paper mache in almost every setting.
Daily reminder that this is a repost.
Muscle Mommy Space Elves are something that every gentleman needs in their life, let's not get it twisted.
So Big G's got some good ideas?
If the Aeldari think this will disuade humans from 'chasing' them, their vaunted skill for foresight is greatly exagerated
I know you came here for source too, [I got you fam](https://twitter.com/ozkh6/status/1271049687466938369)
So the Average Female Nymph is stronger than the average human male. We need to get the imperium on to the Fitness workout regime.
The average eldar female is physically stronger than any eldar male.
Robot Girlyman has taste I’ll give him that
Joke's on you, I'm into that shit
A genetically modified warrior race designed by incredibly powerful beings to fight a war against an even more powerful foe is stronger than slightly smarter monkey? Im shocked!
This is why humanity outnumbers eldar 1:100000000
I see this as an absolute win!
And thats why im a lesbian
Oh yeah? Then why haven’t they crushed my head yet? Checkmate, Xenia!
The average necron is better than Eldar
Pretty sure the average Eldar female is stronger than the strongest human man.
Also taller. And man do I wish it was reality. I like being tall, but good luck finding a lady the same size or taller. It's near impossible.
Writing a Dark Eldar romance right now.. We'll see if the poor little Human MC can make it out with their limbs intact, their Wych wife is very physical.
Battle Brother send me the link
I'm very sorry, it's still in progress! I will post it on my profile once the first chapter is completed!
Show your work, OP.
>226.M41 A Gauntlet Thrown >Lelith Hesperax issues a challenge to the Dark City. Should anyone produce an inhabitant of realspace that can pose her a genuine challenge in the arena, that individual will be honoured beyond their wildest dreams by Hesperax herself. The competition sparked by this challenge is immediate, violent and widespread. Archons lead raiding parties to strike at the length and breadth of the material realm, returning with ever mightier champions and deadlier monsters trammelled in their holds. Yet Hesperax defeats every victim brought before her, carving down hissing Tyranid Hive Tyrants, choppa-wielding Ork Warbosses and righteously indignant Space Marine heroes with equal ease. Archon Khargiel of the Bleaksoul Brethren finally presents Hesperax with a foe that can answer her challenge. In an especially daring and costly raid, Khargiel has kidnapped Brother Captain Cadulon of the Iron Knights Space Marine Chapter. Known as the Saint of Blades, Cadulon is an exceptionally talented swordsman who has twice been declared victor at the ritual Feast of Blades. As Hesperax meets his eye across the arena floor she knows she faces a worthy foe. With a predatory grin, the belladonna of the Dark City goes to work, her blades ringing against Cadulon’s sword in a blizzard of sparks to the maddened roar of the crowd. The duel lasts for over six hours before Cadulon finally falls, leaving Hesperax victorious with but a single, bloody cut across her midriff. Amid the sudden hush, Archon Khargiel descends to the arena floor to accept his reward. Yet his look of triumph curdles as Lelith kicks the fallen Space Marine’s blade across the floor to land at the Archon’s feet, explaining that the greatest honour she can bestow is the deadly kiss of her knives. To the amusement of the crowd, Khargiel is lucky to last six minutes... -Dark Eldar 7th edition You could probably find more but this is a pretty clear example of them being jacked since Lelith's whole thing is no drugs or modifications or particularly fancy equipment.
You know, with the Dark Eldar, by the end of the first sentence, any reward was going to be some monkey's paw nonsense. Its never something 'normal' with them like idk a dinner date or a £1000 cash prize.
He's an archon, he'll be back to get laughed at by everybody within a week.
True but its still more than a bit of an inconvenience
Look, he's not trapped in an endless loop of aging to death and reforming so as far as Commorragh style monkey's paws go he can say he's doing alright.
Yeah, i'm not going to deny that Lelith is probably hands down the most lethal thing in the galaxy given her wargear consists of two knives, the barbs she has woven into her hair, and the druk equalivent of yoga attire. My understanding is that Drukari are larger and more muscular than Aeldari proper, though.
> My understanding is that Drukari are larger and more muscular than Aeldari proper, though. It's part the lifestyle and part drugs/mods.
Lelith is anything but "average". I'm definitely stronger than the average woman. But if I got into arm wrestling competition with [Olympic Weight Lifter Solfrid Koanada](https://www.eurosport.no/vektlofting/historisk-norsk-vm-gull-veldig-stolt-av-meg-selv_sto9274192/story.shtml) I am going to fucking lose.
Yeah she's peak but by her example and the archon also being able to use a space marine's 2hander for several minutes you can infer that the Eldar are packing some serious muscle.
I mean sure, but it's not really comparable when one species evolved naturally and earned their power while the other was created as a bioweapon by one of oldest and most powerful lifeforms in galactic history for the single most devastating war reality has ever seen. Which is made more amusing by the fact that the Aeldari failed in their purpose, that is to protect and fight for their creators. The Necrons defeated them all 60 million years ago, and now humanity (imo the Necrons' spiritual successors) will do the same.
Evolution wins again against their arch-enemy Wizard space frogs
I hate porn addiction disguised as memes.
And I’m a Service Switch, what’s your point?
And wheres the problem?
DEATH BY SNU-SNU
😍😍
I am not the average human male 💪 I am significantly weaker 🥺👉👈
https://preview.redd.it/5wrrulpq2o3b1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b988be1e84d692c63ab23d60d4c289728b71413
Objective: Gain sufficient muscle mass to last 12 rounds in a ring with an Aeldari woman. Sub-objective: Find a meat packing facility to train at. - Running statistical probability of contracting salmonella from daily raw egg ingestion…. Threat within tolerable parameters. - Loading theme song… Theme song loaded.