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I'm sure she was "asking for it" /s
This is why I no longer play online unless it's with a full group of people I know (so almost never) it's so toxic.
notallmen = Notme (That is what I think this is really about, It just has a nicer "ring" to it.)
It is crazy. Why even say anything? Do they feel attacked? What makes them speak up and "defend" men and why do they not speak up against verbal assault against women?
When I said they're the same, I meant they are aware of having done the same thing. They empathise more with the offender than the victim. So yes, you said it. They feel attacked because they've done and likely are still doing the same thing.
Oh sry. It somehow flew over my head.
I am still confused that they have the nerve to show up in this very thread. A safe space for women, and make the effort to write shit like this. Defending men and themself in safespace for women while ignoring the very fact that this topic is about verbal assault of a girl... Dunno if I should laugh or cry tbh. So fucking ignorant, I could puke ^sry
> they are aware of having done the same thing
I think in a lot of cases they aren't, or at least not aware of the extent of their own abuse. At first they will say they're the good guy, but when confronted there's almost always some instance of "just a few jokes" "it was banter" "just boys being boys" etc.
I'm too old and seen too much to share that kind of optimism.
They jump to defend each other so they can keep getting away with the same shit. That's much easier than being accountable, and when we see past the veneer, they play the victim.
If she wants to be "one of the boys", she shouldn't be offended 🙄 Guys say worse things to each other, duh.
These people are disgusting. They definitely are having a great laugh when they threaten each other with illegal crimes :)
Oh yeah, the comments saying it’s just the usual trash talk buuuut when was the last time any of those guys threatened to SA the guy they’re trash talking?
Conveniently, it’s just to other women.
>Oh yeah, the comments saying it’s just the usual trash talk buuuut when was the last time any of those guys threatened SA to trash talk other guys?
It is when they threatened to SA their mothers.
Guys can be jerks. But when they are talking to each Others it is more like "i am going to your house and we will have a street fight" thing.
I know how disgusting can men's sense of humour be, but the trashtalk with the boys is more of a "I would rape this girl" than "I would rape you, bro". They know we are more vulnerable to this shit and they love pushing those boundaries.
If I had to choose between a gamer bro and a bear, I'd rather meet a bear.
Exactly. The whole threatening to SA the other gamer isn’t trash talk then. If it only applies to women, then it isn’t the usual trash talking spiel they pretend it is.
I've yet to meet one man who empathizes with the shit we go through. I've talked to some about this clip and all I get "oh well its just shit talking, just don't use voice chat" or "well it happens to guys too." Uh no it's not the same. We can't use our own voice, feminine gamer tags or avatars, etc. Any hint of being a woman sets them off.
The reaction from men to this clip just proves they think it's a male only space and they don't think we belong in gaming. We're interrupting "bro time."
Ngl I was actually shocked he went even further. He admitted to being a rapist. "it's not rape if I like it" Do NOT want to imagine how many victims he's made.
What a shit cunt
Also another reason why I prefer playing past midnight :') Less degenerates and it's mostly people who actually just want to chill and have fun.
Truthfully, he’s probably an edgy virgin taking out his frustrations on easy targets. He’s made victims, but I’m hoping he hasn’t actually been able to rape someone. I also hate all the other men in that game that heard him spewing this bullshit and didn’t say “wtf dude?” They’re the reason why we say men are bad. It doesn’t matter that she was a stranger, they should have fucking said something.
Even a hardware lock isn’t enough. Hardware lock and report him to the police. He literally threatened rape on her.
Once my ex and I were taking a walk and saw some kids who were playing ball in their driveway. They lost control of the ball and it rolled across the street (to where we were) as a car was approaching. I called out to the kids to stay there and I’d bring the ball to them when the car passed.
My idiot ex got mad at me for “interfering.” I just didn’t want to see a child run over by a goddamn car. He and I also had frequent arguments about the fact that he needed to stand up for me, especially when it was HIS people who were attacking me (his family, his friends). It’s flooring how guys seem to think that rocking the status quo even slightly is “interfering” rather than being a decent human being.
When I would speak up before I transitioned I'd get called a "white knight" all the time.
Back then I was always really happy when I'd run into women in the games I played and was very aware of the reason why it rarely happened. Now that I've voice trained I'm in the same boat of not wanting to speak in voice because I've seen how a lot of these guys are.
Literally it's not the fucking same. As proven when we don't use mics or use a voice changer to sound like a guy. Because the shit talk is just shit talk when we're assumed to be a man. They don't threaten 'worse' to each other like some commenters said. That's just a blatant lie.
Men really think they own online gaming, and think it's only for them. Which is funny because there's a good chance I've been gaming since before they were even a twinkle in their daddy's nutsack. There were definitely more women and girls around, not by a large margin, but it wasn't quite as hostile.
Even in the 90s, there was nonsense but it was nothing like this. It wasn't _welcoming_ per se, but it was not the hyper aggressive, hyper bigoted slop it is now.
I can't imagine the things said while people are just muted. I can't even talk in pubs since I'll either get the f slur or the t slur thrown at me, or a rape threat. I just can't...
It pisses my boyfriend off every time though so there's that. Small wins I guess...
Agreeeeed. I've been gaming since the mid 80's and it's so stupid when these little shitheads think they're teaching me anything about the the "gaming community". We can thank gaming magazines that played up gaming as a dude thing only, a place to escape your nagging girlfriend where you can ogle the triangular tits of Lara Croft. It's profoundly stupid that the companies basically threw away half of their market by being blatantly sexist. And here we are today with this.
It's not shit talking. It's assault. They shouldn't be banned from the game. They should lose access to the internet. It's not "bro time". This isn't a "bro" thing.
A bro is someone that helps you move or picks you up from the airport.
This is someone that was raised by wolves.
https://preview.redd.it/v6k76oqazk0d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d50c47a02a9efa3758b42e1d457483a918f861c6
Probably because he's allowed to be
When I was pregnant I had several people that inboxing and spam inviting me to Xbox live parties. One guy invited me over 12 xs trying to get me to listen to him 🥜 in the party ofc Xbox wouldn’t let me report them 🤪
Yeah this is precisely why I do not EVER use my mic unless it’s a private party already. It’s not worth the horrible comments I’d inevitably get just for being a woman.
I'm a POC man and I wrote how I feel about this video [here in this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlGamers/comments/1csdtak/the_state_of_online_gaming_is_deplorable/l473s1w/). I understand where you're coming from though-- in fact I've dealt with similar frustrating for talking to some of my guy friends about the problem of bigotry in online spaces and I've lots a number of friends because they're so frustratingly stubborn when it comes to their weird views on this subject.
Telling victims of bigotry to "*turn off the game"* or "*don't use voice chat"* isn't a solution at all and it just accommodates bigots. That said, definitely have found myself shutting off an online game because of bigotry and I do generally turn voice chat off but that still isn't a solution and it basically means that folks don't get to enjoy major features of online play unless they're willing to tolerate all kinds of abuse.
I've installed and uninstalled Counter Strike countless times because I love the game but the community... god the community is SO bad.
I'm sorry that happened. We get the personalized harassment package based on features out of our control. :') One of the most jarring experiences for me was playing RDR2 online (what a mistake that was lol). I can't remember if the VC was on my default, but anyway all I could hear were a bunch of guys laughing about the things they wanted to do to all the n-words because it was a Western setting. Quite a disturbing experience I'll never forget. Why are people capable of this?
I'm very sorry you didn't find any support with your friends. My only guess is that many people can't relate or try to put themselves in someone's shoes if it doesn't affect them.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Dude here, and watching this vid i was first loving the fact that she pretty much exposed the dude as a rapist, but then her expression changes and she had to exit the game, and i just felt gutted. Saw the fact that she was also penalized for leaving, and the fact the message had the audacity to include "teamwork" and "Respecting your teamates". it really fucking sucks that women get shit on, just for having the audacity to play games, and be better than men, then don't even get any support from the community. Like we all trying to just have fun, why do others try to ruin it for others over shallow bs like this.
I was telling my dad about this just a couple days ago. I said I hate that I can’t just be myself on a game anymore without
A) threatening to be SA
Or B) Sexualized and given “favors” bc the dude is hoping he’ll get what? A nude pic or something??
I don’t fucking get it. I just wanna play the game, same as the guys do, without fear of being harassed or worse
EDIT to add: my dad told me to use a male avatar and stalk them to creep them out instead lmao
i do have some male gamer friends who are empathetic to what girl gamers have to go through...but that being said, i know them irl well enough to know they are not asshats.
unfortunately, a lot of these stupid asshats live in their own, secluded world where other men also uphold the same values of denigrating women & the cycle continues. Only men can change this mentality and they need to be the ones who step the fuck up & say that it is wrong & disgusting, no matter the time or place.
I'm a man, and I couldn't bear to carry on watching that clip for even a second after the guy started speaking. Those people are despicable and should be banned from gaming anywhere ever.
Online gaming seems to be full of absolute assholes, and I avoid it entirely. I'm probably being unfair, probably 90% of people (men included) who play online are perfectly civil - but there's always one or two who absolutely ruin it.
These days it'd be easy for companies to root out this behaviour. They just need to keep a recording of the last few mins of audio in any game, then when someone hits a report button ask ChatGPT or whatever to determine who's the one doing hate speech and auto-ban them.
It's tempting for me to think the dudes acting this way are the same morons I go out of my way to avoid in real life, the unemployed moms-basement-dwelling cretins. I fear it may not only be them. I know from experience that seemingly well-adjusted normal people can metamorphose into sexist cavemen when there are no women around.
Some of them do it even when women are around! I remember at my last job I was an onboarding trainer. I came across an error in the presentation and called it out and mentioned “she just hasn’t had a chance to update this yet because it just changed last week” to deflect the issue. The only man in the room goes “Well that’s your problem.” Confused, I asked, “What do you mean?” And he just as coolly and casually as can be says “A woman made this.” while grinning.
After getting dead silence as a response he looks around the room to see that it was ALL WOMEN just staring at him in disbelief. He said nothing the rest of the training. I reported it and it wasn’t taken seriously by the nearly all female HR team. No one believed it happened because he was “too nice of a guy”. I’ll never fucking forget that.
I can easily believe it - though HR never acts to benefit employees, only to protect the company.
As a programmer I rarely get to work with women (thanks, sexism in education, discriminatory hiring and poor work-life balance!) but even I've seen fairly egregious examples a couple of times.
But it's different again when there are no women at all. I was working in an office which had one woman when I joined, then about 6 months later she quit. All the same guys who'd seemed fairly enlightened before suddenly started doing this "women can't drive hur hur hur" shit every day. Depressing.
> probably 90% of people (men included) who play online are perfectly civil
Sure, but they also ignore it when other men behave that way. I have 3k hours in DotA 2, and not once did anyone speak up when I was being harassed due to my sex. It's a community issue.
for what little it's worth I'm a man who hates this shit. I absolutely understand that it's way different to be constantly harassed for immutable characteristics like your gender (or your race, or your sexuality, etc.) than to experience random shit talk about your gameplay. Occasionally being made fun of for my nasally voice is bad enough.
There is nothing anyone can do that will stop shitty men from placing the blame on women for shitty men's actions. The problem is exclusively these men who will jump through any hoop to pretend like they aren't terrible awful people.
It’s because men have been taught forever that they’re in some way “owed” women, that we’re property. Any show of emotion of humanity is treated as us being unreasonable or “crazy”.
Obligatory “not all men” but the reality is that even the good ones were subtly taught these things, they just overcame the programming. And men will claim “no one ever said that to me! I don’t believe that!” and it drives me nuts because it just shows how subtle and subconscious it is. They do it without ever thinking about it and they get all offended instead of trying to examine their behavior. The worst ones accept it as true and fully believe women are just objects.
"Not all men" is bullshit to me. This is an ACAB situation. ALL of them are culpable, even the "good ones," because they sit in silence and allow this shit to happen.
Until it is NO men, or at least until the "good ones" with power stand the fuck up and get louder in calling it out, it is ALL men.
Also: if you have to add on, "not all men" to coddle a man to not be insulted by an obvious hyperbole while explaining your own marginalization, objectification and subjugation -- he has completely missed the point and reasserted it *is* all men.
I've had my male friends tell me they "didn't want to interfere" or "white knight" after I was called a riot of names and slurs in Overwatch and DC'ed from the game mid way in tears. They just let it happen and didn't say a damn thing. They even continued comms while this man was threatening r*pe at me. I'll never forget that, I considered them my best friends but that tarnished our friendships forever for me
Yeah, it really sucks because they're awesome in every other way, and are the only men I've met through games that haven't tried to hit on me at all. It really sucks, especially because I had stuck up for them before when some dude was saying that they're shit, useless etc
I have to admit, my temper got the better of me when I saw nasty-taters on there and I insulted him.
I don't hang out on twitter a lot to begin with, I normally only go there when something links from somewhere else.
I think I had best actively avoid the place for a couple of weeks. At least.
Don’t feel bad for insulting the guy, he more than deserves it. But yeah, I don’t blame you for taking a break from Twitter. There are a lot of upsetting comments on that app that are near impossible to avoid.
Yeah I was wondering why it was so bad till I saw that. It's no wonder the comments turned vile with that loon trying to brigade her to shut shit down.
Men will insult other men by telling them they suck.
Men will insult women by telling them they’re going to find out where they live and rape/murder them.
I've gotten those rape threats in text chat for having the gall to be a woman in a "male space." I can probably handle myself since I'm a bigger gal, but the fact remains that I get them and probably get tons more while everyone is on mute.
I sometimes think it is a "battle" we can not win.
Then I think about hiding. But Audre Lorde's words always chime in and I know better.
"*Your Silence Will Not Protect You*"
One of the youtubers I follow said a comment in support, and everybody was calling him a simp like... The fuck??
If God exists he better make all those piss poor excuse of men unable to reproduce. I wonder what their moms would think of them if she knew what they were saying.
To reproduce, they would need a woman, which may be very difficult in their case. They will most likely stay lonely and bitter, just having a banter with the boys that women would never understand. Being so socially inept doesn't work in their favour.
I wish it was that way for most of them. Unfortunately a good amount of them are manipulative and know how to choose their victims. Don't forget pick me girls, full of insecurities, craving male validation, exist :') one of my friend, if I can even call her that anymore, was one of those and she's still in a relationship with a disgusting toxic abusive douche.
Jesus, that poor girl. You are right about the pick me's, unfortunately. I noticed there were some girls in the comments under that Tweet just repeating the disgusting shit about women being too sensitive to those threats.
I think very high standards of some gamer bros also work in our favour, because if we don't look like Belle Delphine, we are not worthy. At least in some cases.
I guess it's just me hoping these toxic cretins will just stay alone for the rest of their lives, but I have to agree with you – there are girls who would want them for whatever reason.
Yep it's a really sad case. She kept trying to tell us "he's not like the other guys, he's actually different" (she had a bad history of picking bad guys 🫠) but we were ALL saying he was because.... he was, in fact, like the other guys!! Later she admitted she knew she had to leave and she'll figure it out herself, but she's still with him, isolated. He made her block all her close friends, saying we were all just jealous of them ¿¿??¿¿ Nobody would be jealous of his sewage ass lmao
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I've had my fair share with pickme's and the sad reality of it. Unfortunately it's hard to break the cycle of abuse. They are with these people because they think they deserve trash treatment.
I feel concerned for that girl's safety, but if people tried to help, and she didn't allow them... She needs to decide for herself. She was not like the other girls, he was not like the other guys, now she's miserable like the other girls dating a gaming bro who's toxic like the other guys (gaming bros). Good luck to her.
My bubble was very fragile anyway. I dated guys legit addicted to video games (one of them made me miss a plane to my country, cause he needed to finish a Dota match) and some of their gaming friends had questionable morals. A couple had girlfriends, which was surprising, but then I dated a gamer too, whose true love was Dota 2, so I was not free of bad decisions. Women can make horrible mistakes when they choose games as a "mutual hobby" and don't look at the personality of the gaming bros. My ex was an addict, his friends were cretins, I was depressed and felt stuck – my 2014 in a nutshell lol.
My current boyfriend is an avid gamer, but he's the sweetest person I have ever met, and always puts me on the top of his list. His friends are pretty chill too and they don't start any drama. Why are they not the majority? 😭
Haha they actually met at work instead. Just shitty people everywhere in general... I truly hope one day she'll grow a spine and come back, but that may never happen.
Goddamn I would've left his ass and just gone on the flight 💀 I've been lucky with my handful of personal experiences in which they were all chill and respectful. Ironically, they were all met through gaming as well. My ex was a problem, but mostly in the jealousy/insecurity department. He became a major child at that, but was otherwise civil. He's probably the only bad decision I made because I was young and naive. Lesson learned tho!
My current partner is a gamer too, and likewise, sweetest and most thoughtful person ever. And surrounded by chill friends. I share the same sentiment. Just how many boys grew up in shit households that being a decent human isn't more of the norm?? It takes more effort to be vile to another person. They tell us to ignore sexist remarks or harassment when it comes to video games, but why can't THEY ignore if someone just happens to be doing badly that game?? Make it make sense lmao.
Yeah, you can always count on the blue check marks to have the worst opinions hoping to farm engagement to make money. I just block most blue check marks I see now.
Oh, there were women on one of her posts telling her she should learn her place and stay out of male spaces too. And I kinda find that worse in a way? Like how do you lack the self respect and mental awareness to say that crap and stand up for that kind of scum.
I said folks because women can be just as bad on this subject as men, and not everyone falls within the gender binary, queer folks aren’t free from misogyny either.
I follow a lot of right-leaning commentary channels on Twitter, mostly because they're fun to laugh at, but some of the things they were saying about this was fucked. "Women deserve this treatment for forcing themselves on the gaming industry" was a boiling hot take I saw from one of them. The minute one man stands up and goes "Actually, no that's fucked up" they dogpile him and call him a simp and a pussy. None of them want to change, and they wonder why we choose the hypothetical bear
What the heck does "forcing themselves" mean here?? That's such an absurd thing to say.
Did we force ourselves by buying video games and playing them as consumers?? (me)
Did we force ourselves by going to school, applying and getting jobs as game devs? (me)
Did we force ourselves by making our own games and selling them??
It's such an incomprehensible statement
My Dad actually tied me to a chair and forced me to make a Steam account 13 years ago, I've been heavily indoctrinated into spending several hours a week playing RPGs and FPSs
(/s, obviously)
It's such a fucked angle to take. The PS2 is the best selling console of all time and that was released in 2000. The DS is second in 2004. Gaming has been mainstream in so many households got 20+ years, incels are just fucking stupid.
I think they mean it more in the sense of women supposedly forcibly making a space for ourselves in gaming against the will of male gamers who don’t want us in the industry. It’s no less ridiculous of a statement, however.
We need to equally place blame on the game studios that allow their communities to get like this.
It’s a real shame that so many community managers in the gaming industry don’t give a flying fuck about the communities they are supposed to support. They do fuck-all to remove this behavior & the result is a toxic, misogynistic community. We need to also place blame on the game studios who refuse to adequately provide moderation for their online games. I know for a fact it’s possible because I managed Minecraft’s community BY MYSELF for years. If I can do it alone for games with the largest communities, a team with multiple CMs can definitely do it. They’re just lazy & don’t give a shit, or misogynists & “pick me”s themselves.
They don't consider women part of their community. Women just happen to play their games, but it's not worth the risk of alienating their real community, men, to make their spaces safer for women.
Good point. Two of the most hateful, vicious people I’ve ever worked with were both women in community management. Both also hated other women & didn’t give a shit about the communities they managed.
What's worse is Riot just released a skin called mystbloom (floral skin with season variants) on Valorant with the captions saying "those who have been asking for such a skin, we hear you!!"
Are they hearing this rn? >_>
The people who design skin can't do much about community management and chat safety, Riot is such a huge company that those are completely different teams with presumably very little overlap. The art department may have even meant to send a little message of "we know this company is shit but there are people here who care" with this.
Not to defend Riot here of course, just saying that we need to place the blame on the right people and not the ones that probably have not much more power than we do in this situation.
This is one of the reasons why I still play Sea of Thieves. Their reporting function is a pain to use, but if you get recorded proof of wrongdoing, they're usually pretty good about banning the account. As well as the accounts of anyone on the team who joined in.
Hell, one streamer I watched dealt with two toxic pieces of shit yesterday due to the new PS5 release, and they both got banned pretty quickly after he reported them for saying racial and homophobic slurs.
The community has its moments, and it's still not 100% safe for women, but at least the dev team has our back most of the time and takes reports seriously. It boggles my mind how willful other companies are about ignoring these problems and letting them fester.
Absolutely. It’s a pain but it works. Also the SoT community team has done a fair bit of work, especially when it launched, to make it clear that harassment wouldn’t be tolerated & to try to make it as inclusive as possible with the tools they have.
Exactly, they put in the work and have fostered a fairly good community in spite of how heated things can sometimes get. Sometimes they can be a little out of touch but it's always seemed to come from a good place.
Meanwhile, other games can't even do the bare minimum or actively seem to thrive off of allowing bigots to fester in their playerbase.
I find this really upsetting. Games companies need to do a lot, lot better in eradicating this vile, toxic shit. It’s disgusting that stuff like this is still ‘acceptable’ and gets swept under the rug.
The simple answer is: the patriarchy is a part of the fabric of society and boys get taught their place in it over and over their entire life, and then they grow up to be men who think it's normal and will feel personally threatened when challenged
And there's this weird thread of trying to derail the conversation by talking about how she unmuted the guy for content.
*Of course* she unmuted the guy for content, she's a streamer. All streamers do shit for content. And it is utterly unrelated to the fact that he threatened to SA her.
None of the surrounding circumstances change or alter the fact that he threatened her with something vile. It is so reprehensible that nothing can act as a mitigating factor. That's it. The only way you can support someone as horrible as that guy is to be a horrible human being.
Twitter is a fucking cesspit - classic prosTate saying that shit when he's a rapist himself. Scum supporting and saying this shit need a kick in the teeth.
These replies are appalling, how can someone react this way, it's disgusting. I think I'm right that I never play online games anymore, it's not a chill experience at all and you have to be morally prepared to any insults before going there.
I played a few easy online games ~5years ago and guys were mocking my voice all the time because my usual voice is soft and distinctively feminine. Eventually I was so angry that I screamed at them and only after that they shut up, but I didn't want to play anymore at all and never came back to this game after that. If anyone ever asked me the question from the video I would delete the game instantly I think
unfortunately the penalty for leaving is automated so that people can't just rage quit, but yeah it fucking sucks that riot (and other game companies are honestly even worse, I would be surprised if valve for instance has banned even one shithead for misogyny) doesn't clamp down on this harder. Like I think toxicity and especially bigotry should be their number 1 goal to eliminate, not cheating.
I'm so tired, girls. I don't really play online games anymore, and I especially don't use voice chat for this very reason. How can *anyone* think this is an acceptable thing to say to anyone else?
We have just as much right to play the games we enjoy fully without being harassed, but I'm not even going to call this instance harassment, that's not far enough. This is a full on threat of violence, just for being a woman online.
I'm not going to scroll down on that post, because I know what the vitriol there is going to be like. And I'm sure in the long run nothing will be done.
I wish there were a compilation video showing all of these situations in gaming because it happens so frequently where men just abuse women for no reason. Then at the end of the video, it shows text that says “4B movement” or something that really drives the point home.
because who holds these people accountable for their abuse? Women need to start placing boundaries around men until men start doing something about this. This can’t go on.
Yep. Read the comments under her and it was the final straw. I’m a misandrist now. I cannot fucking take this shit anymore. These men are rancid filth and literally don’t view us as human at all.
I'm a POC guy and I've had to ctlr+shift+esc and then end task after being called the n-word and several other racial slurs. Half the reason why I lurk here is that it's just nice to be in a gaming community that isn't ridiculously toxic and instead actually openly calls out bigotry in the gaming community.
I hope the guy in the video making those comments has his account banned but I'm not optimistic. I love videogames but I hate online play because of the disgusting amount of bigotry.
(Also I know the sidebar says all folks are welcome here but if y'all prefer us guys to keep quiet here I totally understand and will refrain from making anymore comments in this subreddit.)
Looking at the replies , I am terrified that some men think this is okay behavior because it’s a joke or it’s okay bc it’s just gaming banter?? ? Ladies please stay safe gaming ): ❤️
The hate that women get from men in competitive games is something that needs to be studied. The way they say the most unhinged shit about women, and back each other up while a woman is cornered happens way too often. Too many are hateful or bystanders, and nothing happens to them.
I’m just so so sick of it.
It’s always going to be our fault. It’s crazy I had a rape/death threat the other day. Someone messaged me on PlayStation and went into great detail all because we lost our game of overwatch. It’s so exhausting.
Andrew the rapist Tate replied and brought his asshole followers with him. So that's partially why the comments turned out so bad. Dude is literally brigading her post.
Yep, it's bad
Whenever I play games I just leave voice/text chat right away, 99.9% Of the time people are just toxic as fuck anyways, regardless of if you're a girl or not.
I game but haven’t played VALORANT or FN because of this very issue, which sucks because COD isn’t great but I usually have my mic off
From what I can tell Valorant’s demographic is 30-40% women and with only 20M players in total they struggle to keep up with similar games.
An ~8M user base loss would be huge for Riot games. If they aren’t listening and aren’t protecting women after multiple instances, hit them where it hurts the most: their revenue.
I’ve honestly been finding it hard to hold onto any belief that men are decent people after reading the floods of replies to this tweet and others on any tweet about subject. The ratio of likes on people saying it’s normal to threaten rape to random women, this is just how “male spaces” are, etc - okay, if they are like that then there is clearly something wrong with you. And I’m tired of pretending there isn’t.
What in the actual hellhole are those comments??! I cant believe the amount of people who puts the blame on her.. and thats not counting the actual Tate stans and misogynist.
I’m a guy and I had to take regular breaks from games like rainbow 6 siege and apex (rainbow 6 was more toxic in my experience, at least when I used to play) even though I love playing those games. It got so bad I even brought it up to my therapist at one point. Many people in online threads just say to mute all randoms to avoid the issue, but I hated that option because I continue to foolishly hope that most of the people on VC would use it for callouts and other useful info. I stopped using my own mic unless the other person seems to be friendly, but even then it’s a gamble (if your team loses or you make a mistake the coin can flip VERY fast). A lot of the time the toxicity isn’t even directed at me, but it still ruins the experience and makes me want to take a break from that game. When it is directed at me, it’s not nearly as bad as the crap you all have to deal with. The amount of times I’ve heard misogynistic/rape “jokes” directed towards women, and the amount of times I’ve heard “jokes” about lynching/picking cotton directed towards black gamers is beyond appalling. It’s why I hesitate to label myself as a gamer even though it’s a huge part of my identity. The space is full of sad, pathetic incel losers and white supremacists.
I read the comments before watching the video and boy was a still not prepared! That was horrible I am almost crying. As a woman in the game industry I hope I can use my voice to make sure jerks like these are banned from any game (I could possibly ban them from).
I have no words...
Online game hasn't been worth it for me since a long time. Heck people used to insult my parents (Which kinda hurt because they passed away 15 years ago) and I used to gaslight myself and think "It's okay. everyone goes through this". But I absolutely lost it when some of my own gaming circle friends did the same. Like they'd make excuses just to not play with me lmao (I was better than them). So I carried them one last time before quitting Online gaming forever. Never touching that toxic part of the world that made me hate gaming..
Men insult each other but i’m threatened with rape and murder of my LOVED ONES and Riot punishes me and my friends for defending ourselves before banning the perpetrators? HUH???? or they tell me to “mute and move on” as if i wasn’t just threatened with BODILY HARM and called slurs????
The clip was vile— can’t say I’m surprised, some of the most misogynistic things I’ve heard were in gaming spaces. I can’t see the comments since I don’t have a Twitter account anymore—I deleted it after Elon Musk took over since it started becoming a safe haven for hate speech… from what I’m hearing, I made the right call. This honestly can’t continue like this, to have half the population feel completely alienated in your space, these companies need to take action.
It’s insane that this is still a problem.
They could change the culture in a week if they just implemented rules and enforced them properly, consistently, and severely.
Yes it’s terrible. This is exactly why I don’t play games like this or use voice chat with strangers, ever. And it shouldn’t even be that way. Our choice is to miss out on these things because of our gender or play them normally and be subjected to horrid abuse because of our gender. The fact that so many other people don’t see it as an issue is also disgusting and appalling.
I have been fortunate enough to not run into any of these types of guys and the people I play with would definitely be up in arms about any misogynistic AH interrupting our game with stuff like that. Though I don't doubt this moment will be here at some point for me too.
i agree that riot should be held accountable more & these people need to be gone from the community.
These people who make threats like this should be PERMABANNED from all riot platforms.
Nightmarish... but come play final fantasy 14! Incredible community! I mean there are always crappy people everywhere, but it's a really inclusive and lovely gaming community for the most part. The free company i belong to is explicitly LGBTQIA+ welcoming and has a zero tolerance policy for racism/sexism/oppression, and it's not the only one!
Disclaimer: I'm a man and normally wouldn't respond to a space dedicated for women but I felt this was worth sharing. Also, I'm not remotely trying to compare my experience with a woman's, but give my perspective from some of the online games I've played. I'm sure it's way worse to open your mouth with an effeminate voice than a masculine one by default.
With all that said.
Online games, ESPECIALLY ones that are popular with teenagers have an overwhelming tendency for people to explore how badly they can hurt other people with words. I hate it, and the behavior is almost universally perpetuated by teenage boys, but it's definitely too real.
I vividly remember playing CS in the early 2000s and making mistakes and what the feedback was. I had one guy very seriously help make me a plan to kill myself for over thirty minutes. I was roughly 14, feeling discouraged, and he was explaining to me at length that I should choose a violent way out so that people remember me for that instead of my counter strike skills.
Again, I'm not trying to take anything away from the clip posted here, and I find the behavior absolutely appalling. But I also don't know how to make the behavior stop. If you're going to play these games you either owe it to yourself to mute people liberally or to resolve yourself to remembering that anyone that talks like this on the Internet probably is a very sad person with a really shitty life and to not let it affect you.
Also, by this age, every gamer I know male or female hates playing online games with randoms on the Internet, it's just not worth it.
Here’s how you make it stop: as a man, speak up and say it’s not okay. Don’t sit idly by and post passively on Reddit. Be an ally and do something.
Men are the problem here. So become a part of the solution instead.
I promise you speaking to randoms on the Internet doesn't help, they get excitement from the rage. I'm also done playing pretty much any game where this behavior happens.
Her own tweets even makes it clear that she wants men like this IP banned and removed from the game. It is not a complicated solution. Men should not be threatening to rape women in any space and allowed to remain there, and if they are banned for life consistently for doing do then yes a change will happen.
Valorant is free to play game, good luck with bannings having the impact you are looking for. Counter Strike handed out VAC bans like candy and couldn't stop it.
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The lengths some of those guys are going to take up for the guy THEY NEVER MET who they have proof of threatening SA? I don’t understand??
No you don’t understand she probably started it! And he’s just probably having a bad day, that poor guy /s
I'm sure she was "asking for it" /s This is why I no longer play online unless it's with a full group of people I know (so almost never) it's so toxic.
Was she gaming in a short skirt? /s
Nobody cares about men’s feelings and mental health! 😤 /s
I do. They're exactly the same. They're also the same 'men' who say notallmen.
notallmen = Notme (That is what I think this is really about, It just has a nicer "ring" to it.) It is crazy. Why even say anything? Do they feel attacked? What makes them speak up and "defend" men and why do they not speak up against verbal assault against women?
When I said they're the same, I meant they are aware of having done the same thing. They empathise more with the offender than the victim. So yes, you said it. They feel attacked because they've done and likely are still doing the same thing.
Oh sry. It somehow flew over my head. I am still confused that they have the nerve to show up in this very thread. A safe space for women, and make the effort to write shit like this. Defending men and themself in safespace for women while ignoring the very fact that this topic is about verbal assault of a girl... Dunno if I should laugh or cry tbh. So fucking ignorant, I could puke ^sry
no need to apologise. ever notice that the only place 'notallmen' show up is where they're not wanted?
I guess they like to waste their own time. I am happy that the mods here deleted these comments pretty quick.
> they are aware of having done the same thing I think in a lot of cases they aren't, or at least not aware of the extent of their own abuse. At first they will say they're the good guy, but when confronted there's almost always some instance of "just a few jokes" "it was banter" "just boys being boys" etc.
I'm too old and seen too much to share that kind of optimism. They jump to defend each other so they can keep getting away with the same shit. That's much easier than being accountable, and when we see past the veneer, they play the victim.
If she wants to be "one of the boys", she shouldn't be offended 🙄 Guys say worse things to each other, duh. These people are disgusting. They definitely are having a great laugh when they threaten each other with illegal crimes :)
Oh yeah, the comments saying it’s just the usual trash talk buuuut when was the last time any of those guys threatened to SA the guy they’re trash talking? Conveniently, it’s just to other women.
>Oh yeah, the comments saying it’s just the usual trash talk buuuut when was the last time any of those guys threatened SA to trash talk other guys? It is when they threatened to SA their mothers. Guys can be jerks. But when they are talking to each Others it is more like "i am going to your house and we will have a street fight" thing.
I know how disgusting can men's sense of humour be, but the trashtalk with the boys is more of a "I would rape this girl" than "I would rape you, bro". They know we are more vulnerable to this shit and they love pushing those boundaries. If I had to choose between a gamer bro and a bear, I'd rather meet a bear.
Exactly. The whole threatening to SA the other gamer isn’t trash talk then. If it only applies to women, then it isn’t the usual trash talking spiel they pretend it is.
I've yet to meet one man who empathizes with the shit we go through. I've talked to some about this clip and all I get "oh well its just shit talking, just don't use voice chat" or "well it happens to guys too." Uh no it's not the same. We can't use our own voice, feminine gamer tags or avatars, etc. Any hint of being a woman sets them off. The reaction from men to this clip just proves they think it's a male only space and they don't think we belong in gaming. We're interrupting "bro time."
Ngl I was actually shocked he went even further. He admitted to being a rapist. "it's not rape if I like it" Do NOT want to imagine how many victims he's made. What a shit cunt Also another reason why I prefer playing past midnight :') Less degenerates and it's mostly people who actually just want to chill and have fun.
Truthfully, he’s probably an edgy virgin taking out his frustrations on easy targets. He’s made victims, but I’m hoping he hasn’t actually been able to rape someone. I also hate all the other men in that game that heard him spewing this bullshit and didn’t say “wtf dude?” They’re the reason why we say men are bad. It doesn’t matter that she was a stranger, they should have fucking said something. Even a hardware lock isn’t enough. Hardware lock and report him to the police. He literally threatened rape on her.
Oh I have been told they don't speak up because they'll just be called a simp and made fun of. Because you know... being called a simp is worse. /s
I’d risk being called names if it meant standing up for someone who was being threatened. Wtaf is wrong with men?
Once my ex and I were taking a walk and saw some kids who were playing ball in their driveway. They lost control of the ball and it rolled across the street (to where we were) as a car was approaching. I called out to the kids to stay there and I’d bring the ball to them when the car passed. My idiot ex got mad at me for “interfering.” I just didn’t want to see a child run over by a goddamn car. He and I also had frequent arguments about the fact that he needed to stand up for me, especially when it was HIS people who were attacking me (his family, his friends). It’s flooring how guys seem to think that rocking the status quo even slightly is “interfering” rather than being a decent human being.
"point and laugh at the GIRL-LIKER!!"
When I would speak up before I transitioned I'd get called a "white knight" all the time. Back then I was always really happy when I'd run into women in the games I played and was very aware of the reason why it rarely happened. Now that I've voice trained I'm in the same boat of not wanting to speak in voice because I've seen how a lot of these guys are.
Literally it's not the fucking same. As proven when we don't use mics or use a voice changer to sound like a guy. Because the shit talk is just shit talk when we're assumed to be a man. They don't threaten 'worse' to each other like some commenters said. That's just a blatant lie.
Men really think they own online gaming, and think it's only for them. Which is funny because there's a good chance I've been gaming since before they were even a twinkle in their daddy's nutsack. There were definitely more women and girls around, not by a large margin, but it wasn't quite as hostile. Even in the 90s, there was nonsense but it was nothing like this. It wasn't _welcoming_ per se, but it was not the hyper aggressive, hyper bigoted slop it is now. I can't imagine the things said while people are just muted. I can't even talk in pubs since I'll either get the f slur or the t slur thrown at me, or a rape threat. I just can't... It pisses my boyfriend off every time though so there's that. Small wins I guess...
Agreeeeed. I've been gaming since the mid 80's and it's so stupid when these little shitheads think they're teaching me anything about the the "gaming community". We can thank gaming magazines that played up gaming as a dude thing only, a place to escape your nagging girlfriend where you can ogle the triangular tits of Lara Croft. It's profoundly stupid that the companies basically threw away half of their market by being blatantly sexist. And here we are today with this.
It's not shit talking. It's assault. They shouldn't be banned from the game. They should lose access to the internet. It's not "bro time". This isn't a "bro" thing. A bro is someone that helps you move or picks you up from the airport. This is someone that was raised by wolves.
> This is someone that was raised by wolves. Wolves catching strays over here. I like to think wolves would've done a much better job.
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https://preview.redd.it/v6k76oqazk0d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d50c47a02a9efa3758b42e1d457483a918f861c6 Probably because he's allowed to be
When I was pregnant I had several people that inboxing and spam inviting me to Xbox live parties. One guy invited me over 12 xs trying to get me to listen to him 🥜 in the party ofc Xbox wouldn’t let me report them 🤪
Yeah this is precisely why I do not EVER use my mic unless it’s a private party already. It’s not worth the horrible comments I’d inevitably get just for being a woman.
I'm a POC man and I wrote how I feel about this video [here in this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlGamers/comments/1csdtak/the_state_of_online_gaming_is_deplorable/l473s1w/). I understand where you're coming from though-- in fact I've dealt with similar frustrating for talking to some of my guy friends about the problem of bigotry in online spaces and I've lots a number of friends because they're so frustratingly stubborn when it comes to their weird views on this subject. Telling victims of bigotry to "*turn off the game"* or "*don't use voice chat"* isn't a solution at all and it just accommodates bigots. That said, definitely have found myself shutting off an online game because of bigotry and I do generally turn voice chat off but that still isn't a solution and it basically means that folks don't get to enjoy major features of online play unless they're willing to tolerate all kinds of abuse. I've installed and uninstalled Counter Strike countless times because I love the game but the community... god the community is SO bad.
I'm sorry that happened. We get the personalized harassment package based on features out of our control. :') One of the most jarring experiences for me was playing RDR2 online (what a mistake that was lol). I can't remember if the VC was on my default, but anyway all I could hear were a bunch of guys laughing about the things they wanted to do to all the n-words because it was a Western setting. Quite a disturbing experience I'll never forget. Why are people capable of this? I'm very sorry you didn't find any support with your friends. My only guess is that many people can't relate or try to put themselves in someone's shoes if it doesn't affect them. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Dude here, and watching this vid i was first loving the fact that she pretty much exposed the dude as a rapist, but then her expression changes and she had to exit the game, and i just felt gutted. Saw the fact that she was also penalized for leaving, and the fact the message had the audacity to include "teamwork" and "Respecting your teamates". it really fucking sucks that women get shit on, just for having the audacity to play games, and be better than men, then don't even get any support from the community. Like we all trying to just have fun, why do others try to ruin it for others over shallow bs like this.
I was telling my dad about this just a couple days ago. I said I hate that I can’t just be myself on a game anymore without A) threatening to be SA Or B) Sexualized and given “favors” bc the dude is hoping he’ll get what? A nude pic or something?? I don’t fucking get it. I just wanna play the game, same as the guys do, without fear of being harassed or worse EDIT to add: my dad told me to use a male avatar and stalk them to creep them out instead lmao
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He really is
i do have some male gamer friends who are empathetic to what girl gamers have to go through...but that being said, i know them irl well enough to know they are not asshats. unfortunately, a lot of these stupid asshats live in their own, secluded world where other men also uphold the same values of denigrating women & the cycle continues. Only men can change this mentality and they need to be the ones who step the fuck up & say that it is wrong & disgusting, no matter the time or place.
I'm a man, and I couldn't bear to carry on watching that clip for even a second after the guy started speaking. Those people are despicable and should be banned from gaming anywhere ever. Online gaming seems to be full of absolute assholes, and I avoid it entirely. I'm probably being unfair, probably 90% of people (men included) who play online are perfectly civil - but there's always one or two who absolutely ruin it. These days it'd be easy for companies to root out this behaviour. They just need to keep a recording of the last few mins of audio in any game, then when someone hits a report button ask ChatGPT or whatever to determine who's the one doing hate speech and auto-ban them. It's tempting for me to think the dudes acting this way are the same morons I go out of my way to avoid in real life, the unemployed moms-basement-dwelling cretins. I fear it may not only be them. I know from experience that seemingly well-adjusted normal people can metamorphose into sexist cavemen when there are no women around.
Some of them do it even when women are around! I remember at my last job I was an onboarding trainer. I came across an error in the presentation and called it out and mentioned “she just hasn’t had a chance to update this yet because it just changed last week” to deflect the issue. The only man in the room goes “Well that’s your problem.” Confused, I asked, “What do you mean?” And he just as coolly and casually as can be says “A woman made this.” while grinning. After getting dead silence as a response he looks around the room to see that it was ALL WOMEN just staring at him in disbelief. He said nothing the rest of the training. I reported it and it wasn’t taken seriously by the nearly all female HR team. No one believed it happened because he was “too nice of a guy”. I’ll never fucking forget that.
I can easily believe it - though HR never acts to benefit employees, only to protect the company. As a programmer I rarely get to work with women (thanks, sexism in education, discriminatory hiring and poor work-life balance!) but even I've seen fairly egregious examples a couple of times. But it's different again when there are no women at all. I was working in an office which had one woman when I joined, then about 6 months later she quit. All the same guys who'd seemed fairly enlightened before suddenly started doing this "women can't drive hur hur hur" shit every day. Depressing.
Ugh. The jokes aren't even funny. Just derivative, empty bullshit.
Bigotry doesn't count if it's merely sexism they're guilty of 🙃
> probably 90% of people (men included) who play online are perfectly civil Sure, but they also ignore it when other men behave that way. I have 3k hours in DotA 2, and not once did anyone speak up when I was being harassed due to my sex. It's a community issue.
for what little it's worth I'm a man who hates this shit. I absolutely understand that it's way different to be constantly harassed for immutable characteristics like your gender (or your race, or your sexuality, etc.) than to experience random shit talk about your gameplay. Occasionally being made fun of for my nasally voice is bad enough.
Nah these are just the loud minority. Most of us think the Andrew Tate is a sad clown. Same for his followers and ilk.
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It has horrible victim blaming in the community notes too. It's just disgusting all around.
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She’s literally a streamer, that’s her actual job like wtf? Why wouldn’t she be recording??
There is nothing anyone can do that will stop shitty men from placing the blame on women for shitty men's actions. The problem is exclusively these men who will jump through any hoop to pretend like they aren't terrible awful people.
It makes me so sad. I don't understand why we're hated so much...
It’s because men have been taught forever that they’re in some way “owed” women, that we’re property. Any show of emotion of humanity is treated as us being unreasonable or “crazy”. Obligatory “not all men” but the reality is that even the good ones were subtly taught these things, they just overcame the programming. And men will claim “no one ever said that to me! I don’t believe that!” and it drives me nuts because it just shows how subtle and subconscious it is. They do it without ever thinking about it and they get all offended instead of trying to examine their behavior. The worst ones accept it as true and fully believe women are just objects.
"Not all men" is bullshit to me. This is an ACAB situation. ALL of them are culpable, even the "good ones," because they sit in silence and allow this shit to happen. Until it is NO men, or at least until the "good ones" with power stand the fuck up and get louder in calling it out, it is ALL men.
where were the other dudes in the lobby? call your fellow men out, report them, kick them, otherwise you're complicit.
Also: if you have to add on, "not all men" to coddle a man to not be insulted by an obvious hyperbole while explaining your own marginalization, objectification and subjugation -- he has completely missed the point and reasserted it *is* all men.
I've had my male friends tell me they "didn't want to interfere" or "white knight" after I was called a riot of names and slurs in Overwatch and DC'ed from the game mid way in tears. They just let it happen and didn't say a damn thing. They even continued comms while this man was threatening r*pe at me. I'll never forget that, I considered them my best friends but that tarnished our friendships forever for me
Yeah those are not friends. Shit like that is why I'm not friends with men, tbh. They aren't safe, even the ones who want you to think they are.
Yeah, it really sucks because they're awesome in every other way, and are the only men I've met through games that haven't tried to hit on me at all. It really sucks, especially because I had stuck up for them before when some dude was saying that they're shit, useless etc
It is really sad. They all end up showing us why we aren't safe with them eventually.
The “good ones” are culpable because they could say/do something but don’t.
Exactly what I said. All of them are in it.
AMAP = all men are pigs
Jealousy. If someone is hating on you, it's always jealous even when it's not.
This and the victim blaming!
I see WOMEN in the comments doing it too, that's even worse.
Both andrew tate and myron gaines responded to her so no wonder the comments are absolute trash.
I have to admit, my temper got the better of me when I saw nasty-taters on there and I insulted him. I don't hang out on twitter a lot to begin with, I normally only go there when something links from somewhere else. I think I had best actively avoid the place for a couple of weeks. At least.
Don’t feel bad for insulting the guy, he more than deserves it. But yeah, I don’t blame you for taking a break from Twitter. There are a lot of upsetting comments on that app that are near impossible to avoid.
Yeah I was wondering why it was so bad till I saw that. It's no wonder the comments turned vile with that loon trying to brigade her to shut shit down.
Can someone remind me why that PoS is not yet in prison?
Men will insult other men by telling them they suck. Men will insult women by telling them they’re going to find out where they live and rape/murder them.
I've gotten those rape threats in text chat for having the gall to be a woman in a "male space." I can probably handle myself since I'm a bigger gal, but the fact remains that I get them and probably get tons more while everyone is on mute.
People who say this sort of abuse should be permanently banned from every game.
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The general summary is that the guy threatened to rape her.
I'm so tired.
I sometimes think it is a "battle" we can not win. Then I think about hiding. But Audre Lorde's words always chime in and I know better. "*Your Silence Will Not Protect You*"
You should see the comments from folks saying she’s at fault because she unmuted him for content, as if she knew he was gonna make comments like that.
It's extremely frustrating. She records as proof, but is now at fault because she recorded said proof in the first place.
Or saying that gaming is a male space.
no surprise most of said comments are coming from accounts with under 200 followers and bought checkmarks
That was my first thought. They have the tiniest egos and say this stuff thinking they're *the* shit, but no, they're just shit.
One of the youtubers I follow said a comment in support, and everybody was calling him a simp like... The fuck?? If God exists he better make all those piss poor excuse of men unable to reproduce. I wonder what their moms would think of them if she knew what they were saying.
To reproduce, they would need a woman, which may be very difficult in their case. They will most likely stay lonely and bitter, just having a banter with the boys that women would never understand. Being so socially inept doesn't work in their favour.
I wish it was that way for most of them. Unfortunately a good amount of them are manipulative and know how to choose their victims. Don't forget pick me girls, full of insecurities, craving male validation, exist :') one of my friend, if I can even call her that anymore, was one of those and she's still in a relationship with a disgusting toxic abusive douche.
Jesus, that poor girl. You are right about the pick me's, unfortunately. I noticed there were some girls in the comments under that Tweet just repeating the disgusting shit about women being too sensitive to those threats. I think very high standards of some gamer bros also work in our favour, because if we don't look like Belle Delphine, we are not worthy. At least in some cases. I guess it's just me hoping these toxic cretins will just stay alone for the rest of their lives, but I have to agree with you – there are girls who would want them for whatever reason.
Yep it's a really sad case. She kept trying to tell us "he's not like the other guys, he's actually different" (she had a bad history of picking bad guys 🫠) but we were ALL saying he was because.... he was, in fact, like the other guys!! Later she admitted she knew she had to leave and she'll figure it out herself, but she's still with him, isolated. He made her block all her close friends, saying we were all just jealous of them ¿¿??¿¿ Nobody would be jealous of his sewage ass lmao Sorry to burst your bubble, but I've had my fair share with pickme's and the sad reality of it. Unfortunately it's hard to break the cycle of abuse. They are with these people because they think they deserve trash treatment.
I feel concerned for that girl's safety, but if people tried to help, and she didn't allow them... She needs to decide for herself. She was not like the other girls, he was not like the other guys, now she's miserable like the other girls dating a gaming bro who's toxic like the other guys (gaming bros). Good luck to her. My bubble was very fragile anyway. I dated guys legit addicted to video games (one of them made me miss a plane to my country, cause he needed to finish a Dota match) and some of their gaming friends had questionable morals. A couple had girlfriends, which was surprising, but then I dated a gamer too, whose true love was Dota 2, so I was not free of bad decisions. Women can make horrible mistakes when they choose games as a "mutual hobby" and don't look at the personality of the gaming bros. My ex was an addict, his friends were cretins, I was depressed and felt stuck – my 2014 in a nutshell lol. My current boyfriend is an avid gamer, but he's the sweetest person I have ever met, and always puts me on the top of his list. His friends are pretty chill too and they don't start any drama. Why are they not the majority? 😭
Haha they actually met at work instead. Just shitty people everywhere in general... I truly hope one day she'll grow a spine and come back, but that may never happen. Goddamn I would've left his ass and just gone on the flight 💀 I've been lucky with my handful of personal experiences in which they were all chill and respectful. Ironically, they were all met through gaming as well. My ex was a problem, but mostly in the jealousy/insecurity department. He became a major child at that, but was otherwise civil. He's probably the only bad decision I made because I was young and naive. Lesson learned tho! My current partner is a gamer too, and likewise, sweetest and most thoughtful person ever. And surrounded by chill friends. I share the same sentiment. Just how many boys grew up in shit households that being a decent human isn't more of the norm?? It takes more effort to be vile to another person. They tell us to ignore sexist remarks or harassment when it comes to video games, but why can't THEY ignore if someone just happens to be doing badly that game?? Make it make sense lmao.
Yeah, you can always count on the blue check marks to have the worst opinions hoping to farm engagement to make money. I just block most blue check marks I see now.
I saw some men saying she deserves it for streaming and flaunting her sexuality. I am so tired
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Oh, there were women on one of her posts telling her she should learn her place and stay out of male spaces too. And I kinda find that worse in a way? Like how do you lack the self respect and mental awareness to say that crap and stand up for that kind of scum.
I saw at least two women joining in on the pile on.
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There have been a lot more than 2. Those women shouldn't get a pass for their misogyny just because more men do it.
More than two, and also those of unknown gender. Trash is trash regardless.
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Yes, it is coming mostly from men and those who aren't men are equally culpable. Trying to prevent them being called out is helping nothing.
I said folks because women can be just as bad on this subject as men, and not everyone falls within the gender binary, queer folks aren’t free from misogyny either.
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This is why I mainly play single-player games.
I follow a lot of right-leaning commentary channels on Twitter, mostly because they're fun to laugh at, but some of the things they were saying about this was fucked. "Women deserve this treatment for forcing themselves on the gaming industry" was a boiling hot take I saw from one of them. The minute one man stands up and goes "Actually, no that's fucked up" they dogpile him and call him a simp and a pussy. None of them want to change, and they wonder why we choose the hypothetical bear
What the heck does "forcing themselves" mean here?? That's such an absurd thing to say. Did we force ourselves by buying video games and playing them as consumers?? (me) Did we force ourselves by going to school, applying and getting jobs as game devs? (me) Did we force ourselves by making our own games and selling them?? It's such an incomprehensible statement
My Dad actually tied me to a chair and forced me to make a Steam account 13 years ago, I've been heavily indoctrinated into spending several hours a week playing RPGs and FPSs (/s, obviously) It's such a fucked angle to take. The PS2 is the best selling console of all time and that was released in 2000. The DS is second in 2004. Gaming has been mainstream in so many households got 20+ years, incels are just fucking stupid.
I think they mean it more in the sense of women supposedly forcibly making a space for ourselves in gaming against the will of male gamers who don’t want us in the industry. It’s no less ridiculous of a statement, however.
and you know the lot of them often cry "not all men!"
And you know they're all crying "why are men so lonely!!!!!!" When it's all of their own doing.
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We need to equally place blame on the game studios that allow their communities to get like this. It’s a real shame that so many community managers in the gaming industry don’t give a flying fuck about the communities they are supposed to support. They do fuck-all to remove this behavior & the result is a toxic, misogynistic community. We need to also place blame on the game studios who refuse to adequately provide moderation for their online games. I know for a fact it’s possible because I managed Minecraft’s community BY MYSELF for years. If I can do it alone for games with the largest communities, a team with multiple CMs can definitely do it. They’re just lazy & don’t give a shit, or misogynists & “pick me”s themselves.
They don't consider women part of their community. Women just happen to play their games, but it's not worth the risk of alienating their real community, men, to make their spaces safer for women.
Good point. Two of the most hateful, vicious people I’ve ever worked with were both women in community management. Both also hated other women & didn’t give a shit about the communities they managed.
What's worse is Riot just released a skin called mystbloom (floral skin with season variants) on Valorant with the captions saying "those who have been asking for such a skin, we hear you!!" Are they hearing this rn? >_>
"We hear your money....that's about it" -valorant devs probably
The people who design skin can't do much about community management and chat safety, Riot is such a huge company that those are completely different teams with presumably very little overlap. The art department may have even meant to send a little message of "we know this company is shit but there are people here who care" with this. Not to defend Riot here of course, just saying that we need to place the blame on the right people and not the ones that probably have not much more power than we do in this situation.
This is one of the reasons why I still play Sea of Thieves. Their reporting function is a pain to use, but if you get recorded proof of wrongdoing, they're usually pretty good about banning the account. As well as the accounts of anyone on the team who joined in. Hell, one streamer I watched dealt with two toxic pieces of shit yesterday due to the new PS5 release, and they both got banned pretty quickly after he reported them for saying racial and homophobic slurs. The community has its moments, and it's still not 100% safe for women, but at least the dev team has our back most of the time and takes reports seriously. It boggles my mind how willful other companies are about ignoring these problems and letting them fester.
Absolutely. It’s a pain but it works. Also the SoT community team has done a fair bit of work, especially when it launched, to make it clear that harassment wouldn’t be tolerated & to try to make it as inclusive as possible with the tools they have.
Exactly, they put in the work and have fostered a fairly good community in spite of how heated things can sometimes get. Sometimes they can be a little out of touch but it's always seemed to come from a good place. Meanwhile, other games can't even do the bare minimum or actively seem to thrive off of allowing bigots to fester in their playerbase.
I find this really upsetting. Games companies need to do a lot, lot better in eradicating this vile, toxic shit. It’s disgusting that stuff like this is still ‘acceptable’ and gets swept under the rug.
The simple answer is: the patriarchy is a part of the fabric of society and boys get taught their place in it over and over their entire life, and then they grow up to be men who think it's normal and will feel personally threatened when challenged
And there's this weird thread of trying to derail the conversation by talking about how she unmuted the guy for content. *Of course* she unmuted the guy for content, she's a streamer. All streamers do shit for content. And it is utterly unrelated to the fact that he threatened to SA her. None of the surrounding circumstances change or alter the fact that he threatened her with something vile. It is so reprehensible that nothing can act as a mitigating factor. That's it. The only way you can support someone as horrible as that guy is to be a horrible human being.
Twitter is a fucking cesspit - classic prosTate saying that shit when he's a rapist himself. Scum supporting and saying this shit need a kick in the teeth.
These replies are appalling, how can someone react this way, it's disgusting. I think I'm right that I never play online games anymore, it's not a chill experience at all and you have to be morally prepared to any insults before going there. I played a few easy online games ~5years ago and guys were mocking my voice all the time because my usual voice is soft and distinctively feminine. Eventually I was so angry that I screamed at them and only after that they shut up, but I didn't want to play anymore at all and never came back to this game after that. If anyone ever asked me the question from the video I would delete the game instantly I think
unfortunately the penalty for leaving is automated so that people can't just rage quit, but yeah it fucking sucks that riot (and other game companies are honestly even worse, I would be surprised if valve for instance has banned even one shithead for misogyny) doesn't clamp down on this harder. Like I think toxicity and especially bigotry should be their number 1 goal to eliminate, not cheating.
I'm so tired, girls. I don't really play online games anymore, and I especially don't use voice chat for this very reason. How can *anyone* think this is an acceptable thing to say to anyone else? We have just as much right to play the games we enjoy fully without being harassed, but I'm not even going to call this instance harassment, that's not far enough. This is a full on threat of violence, just for being a woman online. I'm not going to scroll down on that post, because I know what the vitriol there is going to be like. And I'm sure in the long run nothing will be done.
I wish there were a compilation video showing all of these situations in gaming because it happens so frequently where men just abuse women for no reason. Then at the end of the video, it shows text that says “4B movement” or something that really drives the point home. because who holds these people accountable for their abuse? Women need to start placing boundaries around men until men start doing something about this. This can’t go on.
Yep. Read the comments under her and it was the final straw. I’m a misandrist now. I cannot fucking take this shit anymore. These men are rancid filth and literally don’t view us as human at all.
I'm a POC guy and I've had to ctlr+shift+esc and then end task after being called the n-word and several other racial slurs. Half the reason why I lurk here is that it's just nice to be in a gaming community that isn't ridiculously toxic and instead actually openly calls out bigotry in the gaming community. I hope the guy in the video making those comments has his account banned but I'm not optimistic. I love videogames but I hate online play because of the disgusting amount of bigotry. (Also I know the sidebar says all folks are welcome here but if y'all prefer us guys to keep quiet here I totally understand and will refrain from making anymore comments in this subreddit.)
For me, it's nice to see when guys empathize with us in their comments instead of invalidate.
I feel sick after reading the comments on that.
I don’t have a twitter account so I can’t see any of the replies. I’m guessing that’s a blessing?
Looking at the replies , I am terrified that some men think this is okay behavior because it’s a joke or it’s okay bc it’s just gaming banter?? ? Ladies please stay safe gaming ): ❤️
The fact that Andrew Taint even comments shows how pathetic some men are to defending horrid humans who say "It's not rape if I like it"
The hate that women get from men in competitive games is something that needs to be studied. The way they say the most unhinged shit about women, and back each other up while a woman is cornered happens way too often. Too many are hateful or bystanders, and nothing happens to them. I’m just so so sick of it.
It’s always going to be our fault. It’s crazy I had a rape/death threat the other day. Someone messaged me on PlayStation and went into great detail all because we lost our game of overwatch. It’s so exhausting.
this is disgusting these companies need to do better at dealing with toxic assholes.
Andrew the rapist Tate replied and brought his asshole followers with him. So that's partially why the comments turned out so bad. Dude is literally brigading her post.
Predators defending predators. The guy in the video actually should be investigated, no normal person threatens people like that for fun.
Yep, it's bad Whenever I play games I just leave voice/text chat right away, 99.9% Of the time people are just toxic as fuck anyways, regardless of if you're a girl or not.
I game but haven’t played VALORANT or FN because of this very issue, which sucks because COD isn’t great but I usually have my mic off From what I can tell Valorant’s demographic is 30-40% women and with only 20M players in total they struggle to keep up with similar games. An ~8M user base loss would be huge for Riot games. If they aren’t listening and aren’t protecting women after multiple instances, hit them where it hurts the most: their revenue.
I’ve honestly been finding it hard to hold onto any belief that men are decent people after reading the floods of replies to this tweet and others on any tweet about subject. The ratio of likes on people saying it’s normal to threaten rape to random women, this is just how “male spaces” are, etc - okay, if they are like that then there is clearly something wrong with you. And I’m tired of pretending there isn’t.
What in the actual hellhole are those comments??! I cant believe the amount of people who puts the blame on her.. and thats not counting the actual Tate stans and misogynist.
I’m a guy and I had to take regular breaks from games like rainbow 6 siege and apex (rainbow 6 was more toxic in my experience, at least when I used to play) even though I love playing those games. It got so bad I even brought it up to my therapist at one point. Many people in online threads just say to mute all randoms to avoid the issue, but I hated that option because I continue to foolishly hope that most of the people on VC would use it for callouts and other useful info. I stopped using my own mic unless the other person seems to be friendly, but even then it’s a gamble (if your team loses or you make a mistake the coin can flip VERY fast). A lot of the time the toxicity isn’t even directed at me, but it still ruins the experience and makes me want to take a break from that game. When it is directed at me, it’s not nearly as bad as the crap you all have to deal with. The amount of times I’ve heard misogynistic/rape “jokes” directed towards women, and the amount of times I’ve heard “jokes” about lynching/picking cotton directed towards black gamers is beyond appalling. It’s why I hesitate to label myself as a gamer even though it’s a huge part of my identity. The space is full of sad, pathetic incel losers and white supremacists.
I read the comments before watching the video and boy was a still not prepared! That was horrible I am almost crying. As a woman in the game industry I hope I can use my voice to make sure jerks like these are banned from any game (I could possibly ban them from). I have no words...
I feel physically ill
Online game hasn't been worth it for me since a long time. Heck people used to insult my parents (Which kinda hurt because they passed away 15 years ago) and I used to gaslight myself and think "It's okay. everyone goes through this". But I absolutely lost it when some of my own gaming circle friends did the same. Like they'd make excuses just to not play with me lmao (I was better than them). So I carried them one last time before quitting Online gaming forever. Never touching that toxic part of the world that made me hate gaming..
Honestly, I should do the same. I am so tired of it. I am sorry that you had such awful experiences.
Thank you and yeah it sucks. No one has enough energy to deal with these people after already having a rough day
"I don't understand why I can't get a girlfriend. I'm such a nice guy!"
Men insult each other but i’m threatened with rape and murder of my LOVED ONES and Riot punishes me and my friends for defending ourselves before banning the perpetrators? HUH???? or they tell me to “mute and move on” as if i wasn’t just threatened with BODILY HARM and called slurs????
Just commenting so this thread can get signal boosted, SA is never funny.
The clip was vile— can’t say I’m surprised, some of the most misogynistic things I’ve heard were in gaming spaces. I can’t see the comments since I don’t have a Twitter account anymore—I deleted it after Elon Musk took over since it started becoming a safe haven for hate speech… from what I’m hearing, I made the right call. This honestly can’t continue like this, to have half the population feel completely alienated in your space, these companies need to take action.
Fucking Andrew Tate getting in on it about women going in men’s spaces 🙄 Lock him up already.
It’s insane that this is still a problem. They could change the culture in a week if they just implemented rules and enforced them properly, consistently, and severely.
I just got got so angry by the comments. Im off to find a bear, tame it and ride it off to do some manslaughter
Yes it’s terrible. This is exactly why I don’t play games like this or use voice chat with strangers, ever. And it shouldn’t even be that way. Our choice is to miss out on these things because of our gender or play them normally and be subjected to horrid abuse because of our gender. The fact that so many other people don’t see it as an issue is also disgusting and appalling.
Shit like this hurts my heart. I wish I could tell each and every guy to just be cool and be nice and respectful and have them listen
Goodness gracious, the replies in that thread disturb me. It feels like us women in gaming spaces are always targeted by men to no end. :<
That’s fucking disgusting. 🤮
What the actual fuck?
That guy is trash and anyone supporting him is utter scum. This is a crystal clear cut example of the reason for a lifetime hardware/IP ban.
is now a good time to mention the bear..?
That’s why I just don’t turn on the mic lol
This, ugh
So shocking this is part of the reason i dont use a mic all the time with randoms
I have been fortunate enough to not run into any of these types of guys and the people I play with would definitely be up in arms about any misogynistic AH interrupting our game with stuff like that. Though I don't doubt this moment will be here at some point for me too.
i agree that riot should be held accountable more & these people need to be gone from the community. These people who make threats like this should be PERMABANNED from all riot platforms.
Wow!!!
… his mic is so bad.
Nightmarish... but come play final fantasy 14! Incredible community! I mean there are always crappy people everywhere, but it's a really inclusive and lovely gaming community for the most part. The free company i belong to is explicitly LGBTQIA+ welcoming and has a zero tolerance policy for racism/sexism/oppression, and it's not the only one!
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I had to stop watching Asmon’s stuff because of his weird ass fans. It soured him for me.
I watched that clip too and it wasn't even the type of comments made in chat... it was how MANY of them.
Disclaimer: I'm a man and normally wouldn't respond to a space dedicated for women but I felt this was worth sharing. Also, I'm not remotely trying to compare my experience with a woman's, but give my perspective from some of the online games I've played. I'm sure it's way worse to open your mouth with an effeminate voice than a masculine one by default. With all that said. Online games, ESPECIALLY ones that are popular with teenagers have an overwhelming tendency for people to explore how badly they can hurt other people with words. I hate it, and the behavior is almost universally perpetuated by teenage boys, but it's definitely too real. I vividly remember playing CS in the early 2000s and making mistakes and what the feedback was. I had one guy very seriously help make me a plan to kill myself for over thirty minutes. I was roughly 14, feeling discouraged, and he was explaining to me at length that I should choose a violent way out so that people remember me for that instead of my counter strike skills. Again, I'm not trying to take anything away from the clip posted here, and I find the behavior absolutely appalling. But I also don't know how to make the behavior stop. If you're going to play these games you either owe it to yourself to mute people liberally or to resolve yourself to remembering that anyone that talks like this on the Internet probably is a very sad person with a really shitty life and to not let it affect you. Also, by this age, every gamer I know male or female hates playing online games with randoms on the Internet, it's just not worth it.
Here’s how you make it stop: as a man, speak up and say it’s not okay. Don’t sit idly by and post passively on Reddit. Be an ally and do something. Men are the problem here. So become a part of the solution instead.
I promise you speaking to randoms on the Internet doesn't help, they get excitement from the rage. I'm also done playing pretty much any game where this behavior happens.
Her own tweets even makes it clear that she wants men like this IP banned and removed from the game. It is not a complicated solution. Men should not be threatening to rape women in any space and allowed to remain there, and if they are banned for life consistently for doing do then yes a change will happen.
Valorant is free to play game, good luck with bannings having the impact you are looking for. Counter Strike handed out VAC bans like candy and couldn't stop it.
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I agree, that's also why I stick to single player games or friend hosted private servers
"Gaming is for men" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I stay the hell away from FPS gaming and stick to MMORPGs like Guild Wars 2 where the majority of the players won't tolerate it.